This Thing I Wrote Monday

17 Jun

It was a friend’s birthday yesterday, actually it was multiple friend’s birthdays but the one I am talking about is a friend from work. She didn’t work yesterday so I bombarded her with a happy bday text and figured we’d do something another day to celebrate. Well, one of our mutual work friends asked me today if I could find a picture of a crazy chef or something and “put something together” that would make the bday girl laugh. Well duh, of course I can lol

This is what I did:

I had a pie chart at the top that for some reason won’t copy&paste on to here so I took a picture of it from the computer screen with my phone, my apologies for the bad quality…

2014-06-17 00.54.56

The pie sections are crazy, almost crazy, fairly sane and sane. Crazy is the blue piece.

(then it read)

Recent studies have shown that an overwhelmingly high percentage of chefs go crazy after working in a kitchen for too long. Some scientist claim it is the increased exposure to butter that does it, others feel that being around so many instruments that could be used to torture and kill others leads Chefs to feel all life is expendable, much like the animals they cook.
While there is no conclusive evidence to support the above theories there are currently multiple studies being done to ascertain why exactly Chefs of the highest caliber are going loony tunes.
Until the cause can be nailed down and a cure found please watch out for Chefs that look like any of the below pictures:

2014-06-17 00.58.13

Screenshot from the actual document – hence the text.

It is recommended to keep your distance if your Chef starts pointing knives at you or glaring excessively. If your Chef looks like any of the above pictures back away slowly, do not turn your back on them and above all else, give them more vacation time!
Happy Birthday T!

I know it doesn’t seem all that impressive on here but that is because it is all broken up with horrible quality pictures, there is no real flow to it but on the actual page we gave to the bday girl there was flow and it made people laugh. The bday girl seemed to really like it, said it was better than any card we could have bought. 🙂 We all signed the page so it is like a card, but more personal.

What made it even better was that the blonde haired model in those chef pictures looks sooooo similar to the bday girl that all of us did double and triple takes of the images to ensure it wasn’t actually our friend. What’re the odds of that? It’s like it was destined to be! 🙂

p.s. I guess I should have made note of the fact that the bday girl is a Chef, hence the jokes and pictures…


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