In four days I have had my innocent suv pooped on three times by random birds. THREE! I say it is random but I don’t really believe it. (insert conspiracy theory here 😉 )
I think there is a Bird Mafia out there and I am being targeted! Targeted by birds who have obviously eaten something that doesn’t agree with them cause wow, those white splotches on my vehicle are huuuuuuge, ick!
They see everything!
I’ve been trying to decide why the Bird Mafia has targeted me, what could I have done that has meant they must exact revenge not only on me but on those I am close to.
Could it be that they discovered my master is a black and white cat who calls the shots within the apartment that I live in?
Could it be that they are starting a more visible war against us humans and I am one of the first casualties?
Could it be that I failed to interpret a sign one of the birds gave me, indicating I needed to start paying protection money (aka bird seeds) and now this is my punishment for not falling in to line?
It could be any of those things, or something else entirely, I may never know…(insert suspenseful music here)…
😉
The Amazing Shrinking Woman 
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