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The Purse Is Innocent

13 Oct

I yelled at my purse today. You read that right, I yelled…at my purse, cause ya know, apparently I’m a psycho. *rolls eyes*

yelling

Pretty sure I don’t look this impressive when yelling…

I’m not usually that person who catches every cold bug that floats around. Not saying I don’t get sick, just that when I do it usually hits hard, lasts three days or so, then goes away, and it doesn’t happen frequently.

Except for this fall, it would seem my immune system has chosen a new life path, that doesn’t involve defending my body from germs, and now I am getting sick far more often than normal while my immune system is doing who knows what! Maybe taking a nap on a beach without me? Hibernating? Reading a book? Wherever those little white blood cells are they better be happy because if I ever see them again I’m…I was about to threaten them but who are we kidding? If they come back and start working again I’ll be super grateful for two days then I’ll forget about them and go about my regular routine. sigh.

The end of September I caught a cold that had me off work for a day, and feeling like crap for a bit over a week. Just when I thought I was better it had a resurgence (which I really feel shouldn’t be allowed), and I was sick for another week or so. Eventually I was able to breath through my nose again, not feel like I needed to nap every hour, and my body stopped alternating between being feverish and chilled, basically, I got better. Yay!

Last night I went to bed with a sore throat and a freezing body and a just in general feeling of ick, I was hopeful I would sleep off whatever it was and wake up fine.

Obviously I am delusional.

unicorn meme

The cat woke me up around 8am because he decided puking up a hairball on my bed was a good life choice, the sound had me springing in to action, carting him as fast as possible to a room with linoleum floors so he can be sick there. Lovely way to wake up. Just lovely.

When the cat was on the floor and I was waiting for him to finish so I could clean up after him, (I lead such a glamorous life lol), I realized my throat was still killing me, talking was not a thing that I was going to attempt, and I felt like crap. Again. I texted a co-worker who covers shifts and arranged for her to work for me and crawled back in to bed, so I could be unconscious while I felt like crap.

Alternating between sleeping and sort-of sleeping is how I (and the cat) spent most of Saturday. When I (and the cat) eventually got out of bed it was to sit in the living room, still in pj’s, and cuddle under a blanket while mindlessly watching YouTube and wishing for the energy to make a cup of tea.

I really like living alone but would definitely appreciate someone being around when I am too sick to want to function…when will personal robots finally be a thing? I need a robot…

Hibernating all day, while tempting, wasn’t a thing I could do because I had to go buy cat food. The world of pet care doesn’t stop just because I don’t feel well after all, so to the store I went!

If I was going out I was going to run more than one errand so I stopped at two shops for various things as well as returned some books to the library…during all this was when my patience snapped and I yelled at my purse, like a loon.

It was so stupid, I was just back in my car after being in shop number one, feeling frustrated because I’m tired and having trouble staying focused on what I’m doing (so a super safe driver obviously ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) not getting all the items I needed from that store because they don’t carry everything advertised in their flyer (it is a small location) and I was trying to put my phone back in the little pocket in my purse, where it lives, in the dark while not looking. Something, fyi, I can normally do. Well, tonight I couldn’t. For some reason it didn’t matter how much I tried I couldn’t find the pocket and instead of just looking, or turning on a light, or doing any of the number of things that would make this task easy, I yelled at the purse. Not like a full on screaming match at it or anything, just a couple words yelled in frustration.

Frustration that isn’t actually aimed at the purse, it was just a handy target, but frustration that is aimed at me, and being sick again, and not functioning as well as I normally do, and thinking of how being sick yet again is going to impact my coming days. There goes some social plans I had, won’t be going to the gym, or for any hikes in the last of our nice weather, my brain is foggy so my focus is sucky which makes everything seem harder, my energy levels today were barely existent so all my daily tasks (like dishes) will tire me out more than normal leaving less energy for fun stuff, I’m missing two shifts at work so my pay cheque is going to suffer, a lot.

I know its petty, and such a whiny first world problem kind of thing to be complaining about. Oh woe is me, I’m sick again so I won’t be going on a hike. Life could be so much worse, and I know that. Right now however, in this moment, in my little section of the world, my being sick is what is affecting me the most, and that it is happening again, so close to the last time I was sick, is really pissing me off.

And apparently I’m taking out that anger on my purse, by yelling at it. Good thing the purse doesn’t have feelings or I’d be feeling sick as well as contrite for taking my anger out another.

For now though, the cat and I are going to crawl back in to bed, and try to sleep our way through my being sick…well, I’m going to try to sleep my way through being sick, he is just going to enjoy having an inert body around more than normal that he can lay on.

striker on back

He is laying on my back.ย  As long as he’s comfy, right?

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Book Review: Jar of Hearts

4 Oct

You know what I should never ever do? Start a book at 11:30pm. Why should I not do this? Because if it is a good book I will keep reading and next thing I know it is 3:30am and I should be in bed. Oops?

I have zero regrets though, I like reading, it was a good book, I had nowhere to be the next day, and the entire time I was reading the cat was lightly snoring on my legs, so we were both happy. ๐Ÿ™‚ And really, isn’t it about making the cat happy?

The book Jar Of Hearts is by Jennifer Hillier and is definitely worth your time. ๐Ÿ™‚

jar of hearts

I don’t want to give anything away so let’s see if I can figure out a way to talk about the story while keeping all the good stuff secret…

The story’s point of view alternates between Geo and Kaiser – can I just say, on a random note, I don’t care for the name Kaiser, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the story so I’ll move on from that.

They knew each other in high school, along with their friend Angela. Back when they were all still in high school Angela went missing and things were never the same. Kaiser and Geo stopped being friends, the mystery of Angela went unsolved, eventually people moved on. Now, fourteen years after the disappearance, Angela’s remains have been found and the book starts at a trial where Geo is testifying about what happened to Angela all those years ago and Kaiser is a detective involved in solving the case.

The story jumps back and forth between current time and fourteen years prior, both from Geo’s pov and Kaisers. It is interesting to see how each perceived things back when they were teenagers and how they handle things now.

Five years after the trial Geo and Kaiser are brought back together when new remains are discovered that have a strong resemblance to how Angela’s were when found.

There are twists in the book that were very well written, and yes some things I figured out before they were revealed, but I didn’t figure out everything, and some things got resolved in a way I didn’t see coming. It was a nice mixture of curiosity, suspense, surprise, and general enjoyment while reading.

Oh, and according to an author note left at the back of the book she uses the same fictional town in other books she has written so if you have read her other books you will have recognized past characters popping up. I love when authors do that! Gives a sense of familiarity and comfort, and for me anyways, it makes it seem like those characters are still out there, doing their thing, not just forgotten by their creator…but that’s probably just me being a tad crazy, shrug.

I liked this book enough I’m going to go hunt up more by her, I’ll just have to make sure to not start them at 11:30pm if I have anywhere to be the next day!

Feet, ugh.

3 Oct

Feet. I hate feet. I hate people touching my feet, I hate dealing with feet, I just hate feet. Which is fine, we all have some body part we don’t care for, right?

My right toe has been giving me trouble for about three weeks. Pain after simple things like walking, and wow stupid high levels of pain after things like running, or working out in general. The past three weeks have had a serious lack of workouts thanks to the stupid toe pain and that is just not ok.

Since the pain wasn’t going away I booked an appointment with my doc who said I had to go to a Podiatrist, so I booked an appointment with a Podiatrist and saw him yesterday.

Did I mention I hate people touching my feet?

Well, having to go to a doctor whose specialty is feet was giving me the heeby-jeebies because for sure he would be touching my foot and oh man did I not want that to happen. However, I’m more sick of missing workouts than I am scared of having someone handle my foot, so to the Podiatrist I went! Oh the things that motivate us lol

In case you’ve never been to a Podiatrist the chair you sit in is sort of like a dentist’s chair, comfy, high enough back so you can rest comfortably, except the part for your legs isn’t as long. So you stretch your legs out in front of you and the chair ends around your lower calf area which means your foot is dangling in the air. Since he only had to look at my right foot and I was too tense to lean back in the chair I had my right leg stretched forward and my left leg bent at the knee so my left foot was touching the floor. I was swinging that leg because I had a deep desire to fidget / move. Coping mechanism anyone?

podiatry chair

The chair looked a bit like this, only a different colour.

By the end of the visit I had my entire upper body turned to the left, my hands balled in to sweaty fists, and I was noticeably sweating in general, which had me regretting my choice of shirt lol Definitely the wrong day to pick a warm shirt to wear *rolls eyes* Nothing he did hurt, it is just my deep dislike of people touching my feet and I think my anticipation of him causing pain to my foot / toe, or at least discomfort.

Kinda crazy how you can build something up in your head so much that you have a physiological response, even when that thing or event you’re reacting to doesn’t come to fruition.

Anyways, the appointment went fine, I didn’t kick him (which was a valid fear), and I have to go back in a month or so. Which means I have a whole month to anticipate the next appointment…oh boy…

scared-cartoon

 

 

 

Book Review: What Remains Of Her

27 Sep

I spent a lovely afternoon with the cat sprawled on my lap, a cup of tea on the table beside me, and the book “What Remains Of Her” by Eric Rickstad in my hands.

what remains of her

Can’t really go wrong with that combo. ๐Ÿ™‚

Someone I watch on YouTube mentioned the book so I borrowed it from the library and have had it sitting on my desk for about a week, waiting for a chance to dive in.

It’s a super easy read, took me about 4 hours give or take, not hard to follow, not taxing on the brain, which is good because I have a cold and lemme tell ya, the brain fog is real!

The story swaps between the point of view of Lucinda, a child at the beginning of the book who through the magic of the words “25 years later” is all of a sudden an adult, and Jonah, the father of Lucinda’s best childhood friend Sally.

Jonah’s wife and daughter go missing, there are random little clues, little lies told by multiple people, secrets not shared that may help the investigation, ya know, all the stuff you expect from a mystery novel.

The repercussions to Jonah, Lucinda, and Lucinda’s father (the town Sheriff) are massive, setting them all on new life paths that none of them particularly care for.

On the 25th year anniversary of Sally’s disappearance another little girl, who is roughly the same age and physical description as Sally, goes missing and has Lucinda (who is now a town deputy among other things) finding correlations between the new disappearance and her best friend’s disappearance.

Like I said, it is an easy read, enjoyable even, but it is fairly predictable. Sure there is a twist at the end that might not be expected, but it isn’t so shocking or out of the blue that you’re all that surprised when you read it. Also, and this could just be me, but I swear lately a lot of books and tv shows have so many similar scenes that what was creepy or suspenseful the first time now just has me flashing back to all the other books I’ve read with similar scenes.

A creepy man in the woods, kids sneaking off to a section of the woods that is forbidden by their parents, a child encountering the creepy man in the woods, tampered evidence, clues from the past resurfacing at just the right moment, the same sort of who-done-it twist…

None of those are bad, I think I’ve just been unfortunate to read quite a few books lately that all seem to have some combination of those scenarios, and even seen a couple tv shows that have them, so they no longer seem like an organic extension to the story.

I realize that the way I am writing this review makes it seem like it isn’t a good choice of book, and that isn’t the case! If you like easy reads, maybe you need a book to take on vacation, or to read on a lazy afternoon, this is a good choice, just don’t plan a book club meeting around it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Fruit Fly Invasion Update

5 Sep

In case you don’t know the first part of this story I’ll put a linkย hereย so you can read about the fruit fly invasion I was dealing with.

I say “dealing” like it is all in the past but it isn’t. sigh.

I thought I won the war, but I got smug and complacent and that was the fruit flies opening to re-invade my apartment. Wiley little things!

As I mentioned in my original post I had a battle plan and I did my best to not only kill the fruit flies that were hanging around but remove anything that would entice them to stay, or entice new ones to move in. This meant I did everything I could to remove their food sources, down to the last crumb, I laid traps, I squashed as many of them as I could. Whatever I could think of I did.

The combination of doing almost no food prep or cooking for days, taking compost items out immediately instead of having a little compost container in my kitchen, scrubbing everything down way more often, and good eye hand co-ordination got the fruit fly numbers way down. Then I went out of town and that was what put me on the winning side of the war, or so I thought! With me out of town for two and a half days there was no new production of crumbs, no new food brought in to the apartment, basically the kitchen became way less hospitable and by the time I got back from my weekend away I couldn’t find any fruit flies.

It was my little summer miracle.

I didn’t trust it though so I kept looking around for them, waiting for one to fly in front of my face and mock me for thinking they had all left.

But that didn’t happen.

So I got complacent in my battle plan and started keeping compost items in the little compost bowl I have instead of immediately taking them out to the larger compost. And that my friends was all it took for the little brats to return.

There isn’t even good stuff in my compost! It still is comprised of tea bags, banana peels and egg shells. You’d think they’d at least set up their home base in the kitchen of someone who has more variety in their compost. *rolls eyes*

The compost got cleared out, my eye hand co-ordination was tested again, and their numbers did not decrease. Crap.

I decided to lay traps early this time, mostly because I was eating a banana and a bit of it fell and when I picked it up I realized I could smoosh it and use it as bait. I put the smooshed banana in the bottom of a glass, put saran wrap on top, used a toothpick to poke about 6 holes, and went to work. I didn’t really expect it to work since my other traps failed miserably, but I felt better for at least trying.

To my happy surprise when I got home that night there were 4 fruit flies trapped in the glass!

There were still other ones flying around, and they didn’t seem inclined to go in the glass so I made a second trap, following the same steps, and placed it in the same area.

New problem though, all these posts online about how to make the trap, none say how to get the fruit flies and the banana out without the flies getting loose. So I left them in there. But they were quite determinedly trying to find a way out and I worried one of them would eventually figure out the holes in the saran wrap work both ways. Not knowing what to do, only knowing I really really don’t want any of them to escape, I put another layer of saran wrap over top. So called experts say suffocating is kind of like going to sleep, and is painless, and I thought if I block the holes they will suffocate and not feel pain while they die.

Listen, I know its weird but I feel bad about this whole prolonged death thing. If I kill a bug I kill it quickly, I don’t draw out the process, give them a chance to feel fear and pain. I’m not cruel. Well…except for the whole deciding to kill them part…but I mean the actual death isn’t done in a cruel way…does that make sense? So having this glass with fruit flies on my counter where I am basically just waiting for them to die, it’s not going over so well with me.

I figured by the next morning they would be dead and then I could just put them and the smooshed banana in the compost. Turns out fruit flies need very little oxygen. As in, teeny tiny amounts of oxygen, because they have been trapped in there for days and none of them are dead. In fact, there were originally four of them in there and now there are five! So not only are they not dead, they are procreating. I don’t know if I’m impressed with their determination to live life to the fullest, or pissed I’m still dealing with them.

On top of that, the ones that are flying about have not taken the bait of the second trap. I’m worried this means the ones that didn’t go in the trap are the smart fruit flies, and if only the smart fruit flies are left flying around than that means smart fruit flies are mating with smart fruit flies and what if this results in the next generation being super smart and having special skills, like flying faster, or even better eye sight? I’ll never be able to kill them then!

fruit fly 3

Stupid freakin super smart fruit flies. Some days I hate survival of the fittest. Grr. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Yesterday I took things up a notch, I still have the trap out and I did a full apartment cleaning, walls, ceiling, floors, and everything in between. Hopefully the combination of every surface being cleaned, me still managing to squish some of them, traps being out, and no compost to hang out in, will have me back on the winning side of this war soon.

fruit fly 4

#truth

 

 

Oatmeal Squares

2 Sep

Do you have a recipe that you have always wanted to try but are sure it is too complicated and too much effort to be worth it? My mom’s Oatmeal Square recipe is that recipe to me. I have asked her for it I don’t know how many times, and each time she has emailed it to me, and then I don’t print it out, I lose it in the dark void that is my Inbox, and I never attempt to make the squares. Which is ridiculous because I love them, but there ya have it.

Every Sunday evening I talk with my parents on the phone, it is a habit we got in to when I moved a province over and it has stuck.ย My parents are currently in Europe, lucky so-and-so’s (I can’t call them lucky bastards, they are my parents! lol), so no Sunday evening phone call tonight, or for a couple more weeks to come. I was thinking about them this evening, hoping they are having a kick ass time, and for some reason my neurons fired and boom! Oatmeal Squares are forefront of my mind.

oatmeal squares 4

Figuring it was a sign I braved the dark void of my Inbox with a well worded search and found the recipe. I then wanted to hit my head against the wall because oh man is it an easy one.

I can’t believe I haven’t made them all this time because I thought they were hard when they have only 4 ingredients and a child could make them. smh.

The ingredients are:

1/2 Cup butter or margarine

1 Cup brown sugar

2 Cups oats

1 tsp vanilla extract

Ready for the directions? Brace yourself!

(1) melt the butter in a sauce pan

(2) once butter is melted take it off the heat, mix in the brown sugar, oats, and vanilla extract

(3) put mixture in to an 8×8 baking pan

(4) put in oven for 10-15 minutes at 375 degrees

(5) cool for 5 minutes before cutting

That’s it.

That is all there is to it. I can’t believe I put off for years making these! Note to self, and all of you, before deciding a recipe is too hard maybe take a couple minutes to ya know, read it. *rolls eyes*

Mom’s notes did mention that sometimes the mix stays cohesive, sometimes not. That is something I remember, that they are crumbly and messy, but also delicious and worth cleaning up every crumb you make.

I put them in a circle cake pan because my square pan is 9×9 and I worried the extra space would make the mixture too thin. I timed them for 12 minutes since I didn’t know how long this oven would need on the above mentioned 10-15 minute range and I have no idea how to tell if an oatmeal square is cooked. I still don’t know so if anyone wants to share their tricks feel free to leave a comment!

oatmeal squares 1

Started cutting before I took a picture, I’m such a bad food blogger lol

I left the squares a little longer than five minutes before cutting but even with that extra time they ended up looking like this when I tried plating them…

oatmeal squares 2

oops?

After that disaster (visual disaster only, the taste was perfect) I let the rest sit in the pan longer before plating in the hopes a longer cooling time would help the squares become more solid and less granola-esque.

My plan worked! I left them in the pan for a couple hours, and the remainder of the squares came out much better. I didn’t want to risk trying to cut them smaller and making another mess so I cut the remainder in to two large triangles. When I cut them in to the large triangles they were fine, when I tried cutting them smaller they tended to crumble so they are staying large…for now! ๐Ÿ˜‰

oatmeal squares 4

Final product!

I know the recipe is simple, only 4 ingredients and barely any time in the oven, but I think that is what makes them great. You probably have the ingredients lying around the kitchen, it is quick and easy, and most importantly they tasted like home…er, I mean delicious. They tasted delicious. ๐Ÿ™‚

I Sometimes Listen

31 Aug

Do you listen to what your body wants? I sometimes do, I’m kinda working on it, some days…

trust my body

I find that I often tell myself I have to do this, or my responsibility is to that, when really, my decisions should be based more on what cues my body is giving me, what it is saying it needs, than what pressures I feel from others or myself to fulfill certain obligations or duties.

That is harder for me to do when the activity is something I usually enjoy, and in general, look forward to.

Like my Friday night workouts.

I work two jobs on Fridays, after job number 2 I head to the gym, usually start my work out around 10pm and depending on what muscle groups I am working end up home around 11:30pm or midnight. Midnight is more because I’m trying some new moves or took extra long stretching, or maybe fit in some extra cardio, generally I aim to be there an hour and a half.

My personal rule is that I go every Friday, the only exceptions being if I race the next day, have picked up an early morning shift the next day, or am sick or injured. Otherwise, rain or shine (or snow!), feeling energized or kinda sleepy, I go. I’ve never regretted going, never regretted a workout, even if some of them are definitely not me at my peak, lol. I figure a workout, any workout, is better than none, and to not go is me giving in to my lazy side, which fyi, my lazy side is loud and demanding and must be reigned in often lol.

Tonight however, even though I had my gym bag with me and was planning on going to the gym after work, I was tired, and kind of didn’t want to. Ok, no “kind of” about it, I really wasn’t feeling the idea of going to the gym. I tried convincing myself that once I was there I’d be fine, even better than fine. I told myself to just go through the motions of getting changed, follow the routine, get in that gym and everything will fall in to place and I’ll have a good workout.

Nothing I said made a dent in the yawning, or the tiredness that I was feeling. Hell, the person who replaced me at work even mentioned I looked really tired.ย There was no good reason for me to be so tired, I slept my normal amount last night, I always work two jobs on Fridays, today was my normal routine, but today it was hitting me harder than usual.

I told myself I would aim for home but when I was passing the gym if I felt like it I’d stop. Then, when walking to my car it was so nice out I thought that if I didn’t stop at the gym the least I could do would be to go for a walk. I like walking at night, and I feel I should take advantage of the warm weather while I can since fall is sneaking up on us and soon I’ll need another layer *rolls eyes*.

Confession time, I did neither. I drove past the gym, got home, hopped in the shower, felt like I could have dozed off in the warm spray, got cozy in my pj’s, and curled up with my book, a cup of tea, and the cat. Aaaaand that is pretty much where I have stayed since I got home.

My body was sending me all these signals that working out, even if it is my normal Friday night routine, was not at all what it wanted to do this evening. Normally I would have ignored it, had a not so great workout where I most likely would have put myself at a higher risk of injury because of being less focused while working out, or I would have just drawn a blank when at the gym for what to do because my brain wasn’t functioning at full capacity, and what is the point in that?

Where is the harm in listening to the signals my body is sending, paying attention when it says it is tired and needs a break, and then giving it that break?

Admittedly, a big part of me feels like I’ve failed in some way, failed because I always work out on a Friday and my not working out tonight wasn’t because of any of my previously mentioned reasons. But…it isn’t a failure to take care of myself. If anything I think I might count it as some sort of personal growth. Imagine that, personal growth! How adult of me lol

can not adult

I think a lot of people stop listening to what their bodies are telling them. We get in to our routines, we go on auto pilot and hit the gym or the hiking trail or the running path or the whatever, not when our bodies are wanting to go but when it fits in our schedule. I get that, I do, not like I can skip out of work half way through my shift to have a workout because that is when my energy peaks. So we make sacrifices, we go after work, or fit it in early morning, or do extra on our days off, and probably, for the most part, that is ok. Our bodies are adaptable, which is a handy perk, but even an adaptable body needs a break every now and then. Needs an early night curled up on a comfy chair resting.

I’m working on feeling comfort in my quiet evening, not guilt for a missed workout. Feeling glad that I could understand what my body was saying it needed, not worry this will be the beginning of a trend of missed workouts. I’m reminding myself the gym will always be there, there will always be another chance to work out, and one night off won’t be the end of my workout plan, or my active-ish lifestyle.

Basically, I’m working on listening to my body, following through to give it what it needs, and accept that is the right choice. Friday night gym session be damned! ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

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