Talk (Gym) Story

15 May

In Hawaii there is a slang called pidgin, to say ‘Talk Story’ means: to talk about something or chat. So, I have basterdized it a little for the use of my title today and I am gonna talk story about the gym…basically todays post is gonna be funny gym stories that I have accumulated over the past however many months. 🙂

They are all true, they all happened to me or at least in my viewing and they all had the end result of me rolling my eyes and laughing…sometimes while it was happening I would be more annoyed or irritated but afterwards that would always turn in to humour.  🙂 Gotta keep it light right?

(1) Back when I would use a cardio machine for 30 minutes at a time I would usually hop on to the eliptical machine, randomly pick one of the preset programs and go to town. I had chosen a program that was basically all high ramp work which means my ass and upper back thighs were being worked the most. The eliptical was at the end of a row of cardio machines and directly to the left were two leg weight machines that if a person were to use would put their eyes level with my ass…do you see where this is going?  😉 So there I am on my eliptical working my butt off and this guy sits down at one of those leg weight machines, at first he doesn’t do anything but I figured he’s taking a quick breather before starting that exercise so no biggy and I basically ignored him. But a little bit later it dawned on me that he’s still not using the machine, he’s just sitting there, what the hell is he doing? Risking life and limb (have you ever tried turning to look at something while going as fast as you can on an eliptical that is at a high ramp incline? it’s dangerous! lol) I turned slightly to look over at him and he is sitting there with his eyes staring at my ass with the same rapt attention a toddler gives the Telletubbies! What the hell?!?! Uh, ever hear of subtlety? He sat and oggled my ass the entire 30 minutes! I didn’t know if I should feel slightly dirty or flattered lol.

(2) I was in the free weight area and was using the 20lb dumbbells, I was in between sets so I had them resting on the bench I had claimed and was standing by the bench. Just as I went to go pick them back up this guy comes over, puts his hands on the dumbbells and says “women should never use over 8lb dumbbells” and he actually tried to take them away! I grabbed them and said “if I can lift them I can use them” and tugged them back, lol. I couldn’t believe it, how rude is that?! Not like he needed them, there were plenty of other 20lb dumbbells around so I guess he was doing it just to be a jerk? *raised eyebrow*

(3) The other week I was on the treadmill, just warming up in preparation for my interval run, I had my ear buds in but my music wasn’t turned on yet. There was a girl on the treadmill next to mine, she was going at a pace that could best be described as a stroll on a flat incline and talking on her phone. Now picture a valley girl voice for this: “yeah, so, I don’t get it, I go to the gym like all the time and I’m always doing cardio but I never lose any weight!” After saying that comment to whomever she was talking to on the phone she then picked up her Snickers chocolate bar and took a nice big bite! bahahahaha! walking super slow, while on the phone, while eating a chocolate bar…yeah, I wonder why you aren’t losing any weight…not! 😉

(4) I’m in the free weight area (I spend a lot of time there lol) and it was fairly busy so all three benches were being used (one by me) and many of the weight machines that are also in that room were in use. I am the only girl (as usual) and all the guys there that day were the big beefy guys. Then this kid comes in with his Grandfather, he is maybe 13 years old or so and has that rangy scrawny look boys have around that age. The Grandfather is trying to teach him proper form for when he is using the free weights so he tells the kid to grab some 5lb dumbbells and copy what he is doing, the kid gets all “what? I’m not using 5lb dumbbells, I’m stronger than that!” and grabs the freakin 20lb dumbbells. So Grandfather shows him a bicep curl and the kid goes to do the same and has to put the force of his entire body behind it so he can get that dumbbell lifted up to his shoulder, his entire body! lol Grandfather tries to explain it is too heavy but the kid looks at me and says “if she’s using 20lb dumbbells than so can I!”. I’m like wtf? I’m not using them for bicep curls moron, they are for my back muscles, eesh. So I smirked a bit but refrained from laughing…oh, I should point out I subtly paused my iPod so I could hear their convo cause I could tell this was gonna be good teehee. Then the Grandfather tries showing him some other moves and again the kid insists on using weights way too heavy so he’s looking like a fool but he thinks he’s looking awesome, he’s got this “I’m the man” attitude going on, too funny! Grandfather then takes him to the stretching/ab area and shows him how to sit on one of those huge exercise balls they use in yoga so that his body is braced/stabilized and then he does sit ups. The kid goes to do it and is trying to show off how awesome his abs are so he’s going super fast but not actually stabilizing at all so he’s rolling all over the place and I think his legs got a better workout then his abs. *rolls eyes* The entire time I, and all the guys working out, keep taking subtle glances over at this spectacle cause it’s just too funny to miss but at the same time nobody wants to get caught staring right? Well, Grandfather decides they are done and they go to leave, the kid walks past me then comes back, stands just to the side and behind me, faces the mirror, lifts his shirt with his left hand and with his right he rubs his abs and says “oh yeah” while nodding, then he goes strutting outta there like he’s king of the world! I couldn’t help it, I laughed right out loud, I tried to make it sound like a cough but I didn’t succeed all that well lol. The guys working out were all smirking or quietly chuckling but I was full out laughing, how could I not?!  😛

(5) This is another one where I was kind of annoyed but it’s still kinda flattering/funny. I was in the stretching/ab area of the weight room and shockingly enough working on my abs and then stretching, weird huh? lol. I had finished my mat work and had stood up with my feet together and I kept my hands on the floor (I’m kinda flexible, shrug), so basically, my butt is in the air, but whatever, it’s a good stretch! From that stretch I always put my legs wide, then pivot so I can do a deep lunge (I don’t know the actual name of the stretch…look at the image below…it’s like that except I take it a step further and my forearms are resting on the ground beside the foot that is in the forward position…) so I do that stretch for both sides and then kinda chill with my legs together and my hands resting on the ground before rolling back up to standing. For some reason, this one day I looked up while in the middle of these stretches and three guys all at one time whipped their heads around super fast cause I guess they had all been staring and they thought they were caught when I looked up! lol I didn’t realize anyone was watching me, I just decided to look up, lol, totally oblivious am I with some stuff. It kinda annoyed me cause I don’t oggle the guys when they are working out so I feel they shouldn’t oggle me when I am working out…buuuuut, it’s also kinda nice to know guys want to oggle you, lol. 😉

put the forearms resting on the ground beside the foot that is in front and that is the stretch I am talking about…it feels really good! 🙂

I have a couple more but this post is already long enough so maybe I’ll do a part two later on.  🙂

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