Tag Archives: no money

Good and Bad

4 Jan

Don’t you hate when you get some bad news and then some good news so close together that you can’t figure out which one to think about?

I mean sure you want to think about the good news, cause who wouldn’t rather be thinking about good things but if you are like me you sometimes ruminate on the bad thing that just happened to you and switching to thinking about anything else can be challenging.

Maybe that’s just me though?

The Bad News:

This afternoon I had a follow up eye appointment to see how well I had improved since an incident I experienced right before I went home for Christmas.

Quick-ish recap!

I stopped being able to see properly. Even when wearing my contacts everything was blurry and I was unable to focus. Anything bright hurt to look at and any type of screen became torture for my eyeballs. The eye doc made me wear my glasses, ugh, and put me on eye drops, and told me to come back after my trip for a follow-up.

This afternoon I had my post-trip follow-up and was informed that my eyes have max 6 months left of being able to wear contact lenses before the irritation to my corneas becomes dangerous.

Six months.

wtf?!

So I am supposed to wear my glasses when I can, the doc actually said she medically advises me to wear only my glasses but as a friend she understands that isn’t totally possible right now because of them being so old etc.

She also highly recommends laser surgery. As in, super highly, she wrote me a referral for a consultation to go see if I qualify and to get a cost for the procedure so I know how much money I will have to magically make appear. She estimates for both my eyes I’m looking at about $2900.

Cause yeah, sure, I totally have that kind of money just lying around.

my eye

See those eyes? They are decorative, NOT functional! lol

The Good News:

I’m walking back to my car after that gem piece of news when I check my phone and I have a voicemail from my agent. He had submitted me for a commercial and going off of head shots and previous work they want to book me so I am filming a commercial Jan 12th!

OMG yay! πŸ˜€

Normally when I book something I get so excited that basically becomes the only thing I think about, and don’t get me wrong, I am super excited! But I keep going back to thinking about how I only have 6 months left for contact usage for my eyeballs and glasses just aren’t an option for me as a full-time thing which means I am relying heavily on being a good candidate for laser eye surgery but even if I am a good candidate I have no idea how the hell I am supposed to find the money for it, within 6 months.

Anybody want to buy one of my kidneys? Or my hair? Or some other part of me? I wouldn’t recommend buying one of my eyeballs since they are pretty much useless. πŸ˜‰

I know there are financing options so I can spread the payments over 3 years, or maybe she said not have to pay for 3 years, I can’t remember which is it…but I am still paying off my car so no way anybody would say yes to letting me finance the cost of surgery. My car payments will be done end of April so if my eyes can wait until say, end of May, maaaaybe I can swing financing, I don’t really know though, I’m not good at money stuff like this…

I am going to call my insurance company once I’ve had the consult and know how much it will for sure cost to see if they will cover any of the expense but I dunno, of all the people I know who have had laser surgery only one had an insurance policy that actually paid part of the surgery, the other companies said no.

Arg the stress!

Ok, you know what, I just have to focus on the good stuff, the booking of a commercial that doesn’t pay all that much but will be good exposure and good to put on my resume. Maybe it will lead to something that will pay well and then I’ll be able to afford the surgery!

Positive thinking people! Positive. Thinking.

Sugar Overdose

27 Mar

I’ve been eating not all that great lately and I think I am (I can’t believe I am about to say this!)…all sugared out.

I am not only not craving/desiring/wanting things with overt amounts of sugar in them I am actively craving things that aren’t all sugary sweetness.

How crazy is that??

no more sugar? say whaaaa???

no more sugar? say whaaaa???

I don’t even want my go-to spoonful of peanut butter lately. If it wasn’t for having no other symptoms I’d say I must be sick! lol

Can a person eat too much sweet stuff, or just in general not good-for-you stuff and have their bodies rebel? If so, I think mine has done it.

For the past couple days all I’ve really been wanting are fresh fruit, bland meals, simple foods that have no sweetness to them. Seriously, what has happened to my tastebuds??

Now, you might be thinking that this is a great thing, that it makes it easier to say no to treats but it oddly has had the opposite affect. I’m so freaked out by this that I keep trying various sugary treats, even though I don’t want them, because I think I should want them and I feel like something has gone wrong because I am not craving them. How messed up is that?! A lot, I know!

I’ve decided to stop with the contrary, ridiculous behaviour and as of right now I am going to be eating healthier, which will result in my eating the types of foods I am craving. Keeping in mind payday isn’t until Friday sooooo the changes will be quite minor until I can afford groceries…hopefully the change in foods will get me back to feeling more like myself. I know the change in foods will be good for my weight loss, workouts, dragon boat training, self-esteem…crap, why’d I ever stop eating healthy when it has so many positive side effects?? And don’t say cause I’m a dummy, I already know that! lol πŸ˜›

Combined with my changing back to healthier foods I keep thinking about trying CrossFit. I hear amazing things about it, both good and bad and soooo badly want to indulge my curiosity. However, I don’t want to be the last person to finish, or the weakest person there, or well, the suckiest. Which I’m fairly certain I would be cause I’ve heard what some of the workouts are and I’m fairly certain if I tried doing those workouts I’d die right there in the gym lol. What stops me the most from trying it out is the cost, I have yet to find a CrossFit price that doesn’t seem exorbitant and way out of my price range. No way I am spending over $100 a month to work out, I don’t have that kind of expendable income, whiiiiich pretty much keeps me solidly in the camp of wanting-to-try-but-can’t-cause-I-can’t-afford-it. sigh.

I don't have the designer purse either :P

I don’t have the designer purse either πŸ˜›

I know a lot of people who’d say it is money well spent, totally worth it, and then question me about if I feel my health and well-being were worth so little to me. I would like to point out it’s not that I don’t think my health and fitness are not worth the expense, it’s that if I have to choose between being able to pay rent, pay my other bills and have a bit left over, I’m going that route rather than paying for one month of CrossFit and having to skip a bill because my pay cheque doesn’t stretch far enough to pay for everything. I mean c’mon, if my pay cheque stretched enough to pay for everything I wanted I’d totally of signed up for that lipo already! πŸ˜‰ lol

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