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My Skinny Wrists

22 Jun

I don’t know if this is the same for you but my body didn’t get fat all over at the same rate, certain areas got fatter faster then others. This means that other areas stayed thinner longer then others and made it easier to trick myself in to thinking I hadn’t gotten that fat.

My arms have always been thin, when I was closer to being in shape (many many moons ago!) I never worked my arms out at the gym cause sure they didn’t have any great toning going on but they were skinny and that was all that mattered to me. My arms were also what made me realize I had gotten fat – I mean sure, I knew my clothing sizes had gone up an up an up and sure I knew I didn’t like how I looked and was uncomfie with people looking at me or wearing anything even slightly revealing or dressy up cause I felt it was wrong to bring attention to such an unattractive body but I still managed to delude myself into thinking it hadn’t gotten that bad – until I saw some pictures of my arms! ack!

Because my arms had always been thin if I dressed up in any way it was almost always with a spaghetti strapped or at least sleeveless top because I figured I might as well show off the one and only thin part of me, lol *rolls eyes* Then, it happened, dun dun dun, I saw some pictures where I was dressed up (in a spaghetti strapped empire waisted top) and my arms were freakin huuuuge! HUGE! And to make it worse because I am so crazy pale my big fat arms looks liked beached whales! When those pictures got put up on facebook I was horrified when I saw them. I couldn’t believe I had gone out in public like that, dressed like that!

What was worse was I couldn’t believe my arms had gotten fat – my one remaining thin body part! How had I not noticed they were ballooning out of the stratosphere? Oy! *rolls eyes*

I’d like to say that was the immediate turning point in my life and from there on out I was walking the Healthy Lifestyle route but it wasn’t, I kept on with my poor eating habits and no exercise for a while after that and my arms (and every other body part) kept getting bigger. shrug.

Well, now that I am losing weight it seems my arms are losing weight faster then the rest of me…I guess I should have expected that, *confused face*, but I am not exactly sure why I should have expected that…just, now that it happened it seems to make sense, lol, that doesn’t make any sense does it? 😛

Through all of this my wrists have stayed small, like uber small, I can’t wear bracelets because they fall off my hand they are that small. I always thought my small wrists on my fat body looked so odd – like they were a sign of how I was supposed to look but couldn’t quite manage. I kinda hated my wrists cause for a long time it has felt they like were taunting me, which yes, I am aware that sounds stupid but whatever, this is my blog! lol. 😉 Now my upper arms are getting not only thinner but more toned (thank you Dragon Boating! lol) and my thin wrists are no longer a taunting body part but part of a body part that is once again something I am sorta comfy showing off. 🙂

I say sorta comfy cause I still feel like I did at the beginning of this weight loss journey which means I still feel self conscious about my body and uncomfy showing it off and just as fat as I was back then…I know that I have lost 32 pounds but that is intellectual knowing, not deep in my body knowing. I keep thinking that once I lose all my excess weight all my body image issues will be solved but I think that theory might be wrong…I know! Shocking that I might be wrong! lol. 😛

If I am not already comfy showing off my upper arms when they are much smaller and more toned then they have been in a long time how will I be comfie and confident with my new body once it is finally revealed – uh, I mean revealed as in a sculpture that finally emerges from the hunk of marble not revealed like I am gonna strip my clothes off and show it to people lol. 😛

It is a new problem to ponder and I don’t yet have anything resembling an answer but perhaps as I continue to lose weight the answer will come to me, and if it does I will be sure to share it with you! 🙂

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