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Lost Ability

25 Nov

I have lost the ability to sleep, which I gotta say, really sucks. 😛 Normally I have trouble getting to sleep but I eventually manage it and once asleep I sleep like the dead. Earthquake? No waking up happening over here. Really bad storm? Nope. Loud noises outside my window? Nah. My ability to sleep through pretty much anything has always been something I have enjoyed, it meant that even if I didn’t get a long sleep time I got good quality sleep which, for my body anyways, seems to be the more important aspect about sleeping.

I know a lot of people are all “you gotta get 8 hours, blah blah blah” and I do understand about sleep being the time our bodies restore themselves and I also get how certain chemicals are released that help with losing or maintaining or gaining weight and how if we don’t get the right amount of sleep it can sabotage all that nice work we do during the day to keep ourselves looking how we want (-or for some of us, the work we do to try to get ourselves looking how we want *shuffles feet*) but I also think that every person is different and there can be no set rules about anything when it comes to our bodies and what is best. I can function wonderfully for a week at a time with only 3 hours sleep each night, I don’t nap, I don’t look tired (thank goodness!) and I’m not performing at diminished capacity or refraining from doing all my normal stuff due to tiredness…I do however eat more carbs lol

But this, this not being able to get to sleep and when I do manage to nod off not being able to stay asleep, this is just not pleasant. I’m cold throughout the day (and while yes, I am always a bit chilled this is a deep in the bones cold that my sweaters and endless cups of tea are doing nothing to touch), I am grumpier then normal, my eating is off (as in, I’m not really eating) and I feeeeeeel tired, ugh. Nobody likes to feel tired, that draggy don’t want to do anything but zone out and nap feeling, boo!

I haven’t figured out how to combat this little problem. I am refusing to let myself nap (something I seem able to do, so at least I know I can fall asleep…eventually, and at inconvenient times lol) but if I nap then I really can’t sleep that night which screws me up for work the next day, sigh.

Today after work I did some errands, then came to the apartment, watched a dvd, talked on the phone with peeps, scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom, basically did whatever I could to keep my mind engaged enough that I wouldn’t nap cause oh man did I want to! I’m hoping that by not only refusing my body the nap it wants but also doing physical stuff around the apartment I wear myself out enough that tonight I get that elusive snooze fest *crosses fingers*

You’d think that if my mind/body won’t let me sleep I’d at least be more productive during those late night hours and be, I don’t know, solving world hunger, or writing the next great novel, doing something constructive and impressive with all this available time. Wouldn’t it be nice if this insomnia-fest was the universe’s way of giving me more time to get stuff done? Sadly though, just because I am not asleep at 3am doesn’t mean I am not tired so I am in bed, laying there with my hot water bottle and my comfy pillows, wishing for sleep, and hoping I at least doze off a bit, but not really succeeding. I figure I must be dozing off at least a bit here and there otherwise I’d be in crazy land by now from lack of REM time but I know it’s not so much unconscious time as to count as a real nights sleep. *rolls eyes*

Tomorrow I am taking down my dream catcher, it’s new and I wonder if there are too many bad karma vibes attached to it for it to be working…don’t laugh, or, fine, laugh, but know that if you were here in front of me I’d smack you for disrespecting the dream catcher 😛 I have had a dream catcher for so many years it’s crazy. I get bad dreams and I swear by my dream catcher. I don’t care if it’s a mental thing, you know, a I-think-it’s-working-therefore-it-is-working or if it really works, all I know is that it comforts me to have it hanging there, guarding me while I sleep…or not sleep as the recent case may be…but like I said, this one is new so maybe that has something to do with my new bout of insomnia…can’t hurt to take it down and try…course, I’m taking it down when I don’t work the next day so that if my removing it makes things worse it won’t set me up for a crap ass day at work…hope for the best but prepare for the worst right? 😉

 

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