Tag Archives: sleep

Insomnia Much?

20 Apr

I have not been sleeping well at all, ugh. Which is ridiculous cause sleeping is one of the things I do best! Well, after 3am it is lol I have always been a night owl so going to bed prior to 2am is a chancy thing, I will most likely toss and turn wondering why I am wasting time lying in bed when I could be doing countless other things. If I go to bed around 3am odds are decent I’ll fall asleep in a more acceptable length of time. However, going to bed at 3am is not a smart thing to do when you have to be up at 5:30am for work. sigh.

It’s not just last night though, it’s the past week, I just haven’t been sleeping well. Not only do I have a ridiculous time falling asleep, once I am asleep I’m not staying there, I wake up throughout the night and my dreams are weird, and not entertaining weird but disturbing weird…normally I like dreaming, I have vivid dreams that tell a story in a chronological order, it’s like watching tv that my mind makes up, it’s awesome! But not this past week, nope, just weird annoying dreams.

When the alarm goes off and I finally get up I don’t feel rested but I don’t particularly want to go back to sleep cause sleep just ain’t doin nuthin for me lol 😛


I’m not really sure how to deal with this, so my approach to the problem has been to try to wear myself out so I will sleep better. Let me just say that so far, it isn’t working. 😦

Yesterday my dragon boat team had a fundraiser, friends and family could pay $10 and come dragon boating with members of the team, get a feel for it, have some fun on the water, see what it is all about. It went great! The team raised money, the people who came out had lots of fun, I invited a friend and her two daughters and they loved it! I am now considered even cooler than I already was in their ranking system, and hey, I didn’t even have to bribe them with chocolate! lol 😉

I thought for sure being up early for that, then putting in a full shift at work would wear me out and I’d have a great sleep last night. Ha-bloody-ha!

That so didn’t happen! *pout*

I was super tired when I got home but could I sleep? Nope. Just lay there, couldn’t get comfy, tossed and turned much to the cats annoyance until I eventually drifted off only to be woken repeatedly through the night by absolutely nothing at all *groan* then the alarm goes off at 5:30am and I didn’t even bother with hitting snooze cause what is the point? I didn’t hit snooze! You probably don’t realize how big of a deal this is but let me explain, snooze and I, we have a complex relationship where snooze promises me ten more minutes of precious sleep so I can finish a dream but not be late for work and in exchange I don’t break the alarm. It may be a mildly threatening relationship where snooze cowers in fear of failing and then being beat, but hey, it works for us. 😉

So now it is a little after 10pm, I am tired but not, I want to go to bed cause I have to be up early tomorrow for work and I want to make sure I am rested enough to go hiking after work buuuuut a big part of me is wondering why even bother going to bed when I know I’ll just lay there, jealous of the cat who instantly falls asleep as soon as his head touches a surface. The brat. 😛



I Nyquil’d!

2 Dec

Yes I created a word. Or maybe this is already a thing? If it isn’t it should be. I mean I know people do it, but does it have a term yet? Cause if not, how is “I Nyquil’d” not the best term for it?

Ok, for those of you who I have already lost lemme back up a bit lol

I don’t sleep well. Actually, that’s not right, I don’t sleep well at night. Weird, right? I sleep great once I am actually asleep but getting asleep? Holy crap that is hard! How do people do that with any kind of speed?? I will go to bed at say 1am, kinda tired but not really, but knowing I should be going to bed otherwise I’ll sleep half the next day away. Well yeah, just cause I am in bed doesn’t mean I pass out now does it? Nope. Nope it doesn’t. I quite easily will stay awake until 3,4,5am. It sucks. Doesn’t matter if I am tired and want to sleep or awake and just trying to force myself to sleep, getting to sleep just isn’t something my body likes to do.

Like I said though, once I am asleep I am fine, usually. There are obviously nights where I don’t get a deep sleep so I’m constantly waking up, rolling over and falling back asleep buuuut the nights I sleep well? Heaven! They make me wish I could get a job sleeping cause I am just that good at it!

Nothing wakes me! Not even exagerating here. Wanna text me? Go for it! I don’t care that my phone is right beside my head, I won’t hear it! Wanna knock on my door? I won’t even twitch! Are you a roomie and you make a shit tonne of noise in the mornings? I don’t care, I don’t hear you! bwahahaha! I thwart all your attempts to wake me! 😛

I get my best sleep when everyone else is getting up and going about their day. When the city around me is sleeping I am all “let’s clean, let’s read, let’s watch a movie, let’s work out, let’s do anything and everything because I am wide awake” but once the sun starts setting I am all “ok, bed time, zzzzzzzzzz” It’s like my internal clock is reversed.

Most days/nights I don’t really care, I make it work for me and all is well. If I have some days where I have to be up earlier then what I would naturally wake at so I spend the day yawning, well, shrug, it’s ok, I’m used to it.

Thing is, since this night my ability to fall asleep has gotten even worse. Hard to believe, I didn’t really think it could get worse… Where as before I’d usually be able to fall asleep by about 3am or so now it is pushed to 4 then 5am and well, this is just no good! I mean come on! Two days a week I have to be up at 5:20am, I can’t fall asleep at 5am just to wake up at 5:20am, even I can’t function well on that little sleep! Arg!

I was getting concerned leading up to Saturday night (Sunday morning is the first of my two work days where I have to be up at 5:20am). How was I going to get to sleep? What was I going to do when I was unable to function at work on Sunday? How do other people dooooooo this?!?! When I panic my questions don’t become super deep lol.

Then I had a brainstorm! When I was sick a couple weeks ago I used, for the first time, Nyquil cough syrup for night time. It helped me sleep by calming my cough down and making me drowsy, it is a miracle liquid! Don’t mind me, I don’t take over the counter medications often so to me this nasty tasting liquid was crazy awesome. 🙂

Nyquil, my new best friend!

Nyquil, my new best friend!

I decided to Nyquil myself. Yup, that’s right, when I got home after work I took a half dose of the cough syrup and let it help me drift off to la-la land. It sooooo worked! Not only did I get 5 full hours of deep sleep but when my alarm went off I woke up easily and had no problem getting up and ready for the day. Yes! Success! 🙂

I of course, not being a dummy, did a repeat Sunday night since I had to be up at 5:20am Monday morning. Guess what? Same superb results! Got a great 5 hours of sleep, woke up easily, woke up alert, had a day that ended with me having enough energy to go work out instead of go home and have a nap. 🙂 Is this what normal people feel like?

Now obviously I am not going to do this every night (much as I may want to lol) because I can’t rely on Nyquil to get me to sleep every night but I am definitely going to keep it as a back up plan for my Saturday and Sunday nights!

I’m also kind of seriously wondering if how I felt both mornings is how other people feel every morning? Cause that’s just weeeeird, and something that kinda makes me jealous lol 😛

Stuff To Share

28 Nov

Alrighty, so I skipped writing a post yesterday and now I feel I have too much stuff to share and not enough time to type…that and I’m sure I’d lose all my readers before they got through such a long post lol I thought I’d try writing it all in bullet form, see how that goes, shall we give it a go? 🙂

  • I picked up my new headshots today! Yay! The levels of excitement I have over this are through the roof! They turned out great – I always feel like I’m being narcissistic when I say that lol I don’t mean they are great because of me but because of the border and the font for my name and the overall look of the thing. I want to share them with you but I don’t have photo shop so I can’t black out my name along the bottom and while I might be leaning to the side of “it’s ok to share pics of me on this blog now” I don’t want to give you my full name…no offence but I think we still need a bit of space between you an I, don’t you? 😉
  • When I was picking up the headshots I was driving through the sketchy part of downtown and saw a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a building, surfing on his laptop. For some reason this made me really curious about what he was doing, updating his facebook status? Tweeting the random stuff he sees? Looking for an online sale? Job hunting?
  • Two days in a row I made sure to go to Zumba, yay me! I resisted my natural inclination to be lazy and exercised. I’m really enjoying Zumba, I get all sweaty and gross but have lots of fun while doing it. I have trouble thinking of Zumba as real exercise because of how much fun it is. Don’t take this to mean I look good while doing it! Oh heavens no! But hey, most of us look ridiculous to some degree so I figure that’s ok. 🙂
if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

  • I have been searching for a replacement piece for one of my cat’s toys for almost a week, finally got it which means the cat has stopped giving me looks of death every time he tries to use his toy and can’t lol Oh, and because I can’t resist buying the little furball stuff I bought him a soft catnip filled toy in the shape of a pig. Cutest. Thing. Ever!! For those of you who don’t know I heart pigs and seeing my cat scoop a little pig in to his mouth then walk purposefully away so he can have privacy while he plays with it was freakin adorable!
  • Another cat story, last night the cat clawed me in juuuuust the wrong way, ouch! His claw sliced through where my thumbnail connects to the skin of my thumb, along the side of the nail. He got quite deep and it bled for ages. Now it hurts to do pretty much everything and I am still muttering under my breath about getting a dog (in an attempt to put him in his place). He is of course acting super extra over the top cute (not a hard thing for him) and knows that I will forgive him soon…he probably also knows he doesn’t have to fear a dog being brought in here since he is obviously in charge, sigh, I’m so whipped 😛
I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I'm not just a big baby lol

I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I’m not just a big baby lol

  • I watched an interesting documentary this evening called Xmas Without China. About how people in the States are so anti-China and anti products being imported from China but could not survive without them. A family got rid of all items in their house for the month of December that were Made In China and were not allowed to buy anything that was Made In China. Lemme tell ya, their place looked bleak once everything was taken away. Even their dishes were gone! It gave them a new perspective on just how much they rely on other countries (specifically China) to survive and how they as a country don’t really produce anything and the guy who came up with the project learned to be a bit less biased towards the States (probably a good thing since he moved there when he was 8 from China and is now at least mid-twenties).
  • I have lost the ability to sleep at night, ugh. I am going to bed later and later and even once I am in bed I don’t fall asleep, I just lie there, for ages. That’d be fine if I wasn’t about to start my work week, meaning I will have to actually get up at a decent time instead of sleep the day away. I’m not sleeping any longer than anyone else (on average) I’m just sleeping 4am-noon instead of 11pm-7am.
  • I’m really sick of the ads for Black Friday. Even though this weekend is not our Thanksgiving the stores up here give all the same Black Friday sales as you would get if you were in the States so there is a constant bombardment of ads via email, tv, billboards, radio, websites and any other way you can imagine telling us to shop! shop! shop! It’s not that I don’t like shopping but having a holiday that is supposed to be about families getting together, spending time with each other and thinking about what you are thankful for being oh-so-over-board commercialized is making me mildly disgusted with the whole thing. I don’t remember it being this bad last year, was it this bad last year? Also, I keep hearing that stores in the States are opening on Thanksgiving? Seriously? People don’t get a day to just chill with their families without feeling like they are missing all the best deals? Oy! I’d be pissed if I normally got it off but now had to work it because some corporate suit decided the store should open so he/she gets their yearly bonus *rolls eyes*
  • I bought mandarin oranges, Mmm! A sure sign of it being the Christmas Season! It’s ridiculous, no way can one person eat an entire box but I’ll do my best and then share the rest. 🙂
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

And that is it for now! 🙂 I’ll type you all later!

Lost Ability

25 Nov

I have lost the ability to sleep, which I gotta say, really sucks. 😛 Normally I have trouble getting to sleep but I eventually manage it and once asleep I sleep like the dead. Earthquake? No waking up happening over here. Really bad storm? Nope. Loud noises outside my window? Nah. My ability to sleep through pretty much anything has always been something I have enjoyed, it meant that even if I didn’t get a long sleep time I got good quality sleep which, for my body anyways, seems to be the more important aspect about sleeping.

I know a lot of people are all “you gotta get 8 hours, blah blah blah” and I do understand about sleep being the time our bodies restore themselves and I also get how certain chemicals are released that help with losing or maintaining or gaining weight and how if we don’t get the right amount of sleep it can sabotage all that nice work we do during the day to keep ourselves looking how we want (-or for some of us, the work we do to try to get ourselves looking how we want *shuffles feet*) but I also think that every person is different and there can be no set rules about anything when it comes to our bodies and what is best. I can function wonderfully for a week at a time with only 3 hours sleep each night, I don’t nap, I don’t look tired (thank goodness!) and I’m not performing at diminished capacity or refraining from doing all my normal stuff due to tiredness…I do however eat more carbs lol

But this, this not being able to get to sleep and when I do manage to nod off not being able to stay asleep, this is just not pleasant. I’m cold throughout the day (and while yes, I am always a bit chilled this is a deep in the bones cold that my sweaters and endless cups of tea are doing nothing to touch), I am grumpier then normal, my eating is off (as in, I’m not really eating) and I feeeeeeel tired, ugh. Nobody likes to feel tired, that draggy don’t want to do anything but zone out and nap feeling, boo!

I haven’t figured out how to combat this little problem. I am refusing to let myself nap (something I seem able to do, so at least I know I can fall asleep…eventually, and at inconvenient times lol) but if I nap then I really can’t sleep that night which screws me up for work the next day, sigh.

Today after work I did some errands, then came to the apartment, watched a dvd, talked on the phone with peeps, scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom, basically did whatever I could to keep my mind engaged enough that I wouldn’t nap cause oh man did I want to! I’m hoping that by not only refusing my body the nap it wants but also doing physical stuff around the apartment I wear myself out enough that tonight I get that elusive snooze fest *crosses fingers*

You’d think that if my mind/body won’t let me sleep I’d at least be more productive during those late night hours and be, I don’t know, solving world hunger, or writing the next great novel, doing something constructive and impressive with all this available time. Wouldn’t it be nice if this insomnia-fest was the universe’s way of giving me more time to get stuff done? Sadly though, just because I am not asleep at 3am doesn’t mean I am not tired so I am in bed, laying there with my hot water bottle and my comfy pillows, wishing for sleep, and hoping I at least doze off a bit, but not really succeeding. I figure I must be dozing off at least a bit here and there otherwise I’d be in crazy land by now from lack of REM time but I know it’s not so much unconscious time as to count as a real nights sleep. *rolls eyes*

Tomorrow I am taking down my dream catcher, it’s new and I wonder if there are too many bad karma vibes attached to it for it to be working…don’t laugh, or, fine, laugh, but know that if you were here in front of me I’d smack you for disrespecting the dream catcher 😛 I have had a dream catcher for so many years it’s crazy. I get bad dreams and I swear by my dream catcher. I don’t care if it’s a mental thing, you know, a I-think-it’s-working-therefore-it-is-working or if it really works, all I know is that it comforts me to have it hanging there, guarding me while I sleep…or not sleep as the recent case may be…but like I said, this one is new so maybe that has something to do with my new bout of insomnia…can’t hurt to take it down and try…course, I’m taking it down when I don’t work the next day so that if my removing it makes things worse it won’t set me up for a crap ass day at work…hope for the best but prepare for the worst right? 😉


Abnormal Sleeping

25 Oct

Once upon a time, when I was a wee little babe who still slept in a crib my mom would put me down for a nap or for the night and apparently I’d conk right out. Soon as I was laying down I was unconscious. Wasn’t I such a nice baby? 😉 lol

For as long as I can remember I have been a night owl – a condition I feel is not given enough respect in our society lol. I know when you’re a kid it’s your parents’ responsibility to give you a bedtime and make you obey it, and really, how is a parent supposed to tell the difference between a kid who just wants to be a brat and not go to bed and a kid who is destined to be a night owl?

So, as a child I often pushed the boundaries of my bedtime, trying anything I could think of to stay up late and when I couldn’t draw out the actual going to bed process any longer I’d lay in bed bored out of my skull wide awake with nothing to do. I’m sure 9 times out of 10 I fell asleep because of sheer boredom lol.

Well now here I am, an adult, and I seem to have completely lost the ability to get to sleep at anything approaching a “normal” hour. Although what is “normal” is sooooo up for debate 😛 But even I think it is getting out of control, and if I think that then you know that means I am having sleeping issues. Which, is so sad cause sleeping is one of my absolute fave activities evah!

Yeah, you heard that right, I looooove sleeping! I love my bed, my pillows, my blankets, I love curling up in bed with a book, I love slowly waking up and being more aware of how comfy I am as I turn over and burrow farther under my blankets and pillows lol, I especially love my dreams…which may sound weird but let me explain! My dreams are like stories, seriously, they have a storyline, a plot, they play out in my head like a tv show or movie except instead of watching what someone else created I am watching what my brain comes up with. 🙂 So much better!

For the past couple weeks or so though I can’t get to sleep. I usually go to sleep anywhere between midnight and 3am, depending on what I did that day, how early I was up, when I have to be up the next day, all kinds of stuff. But lately? Just not happening. I have still been going to bed somewhere in that time frame, usually closer to the 3am then the midnight lol, but all I do is lay in bed, bored, tossing and turning. I lay awake for so many hours I actually start to feel hungry! It’s way harder to get to sleep when you’re hungry…I decided to stay up packing one of those evenings, thought maybe if I wore myself out I’d actually get to sleep when I went to bed so I didn’t go to bed till 4am and all that accomplished was me not managing to fall asleep until about 7am or so, sigh. And last night! omg, sigh, went to bed at 3am, tossed, turned, did that thing where you know you must be dozing off every now and then but for the most part you’re well aware of the passage of time, was still tossing at 6am, eventually go to a pathetic version of sleep, woke up full an proper at 9am, then and only then did I manage to drop into a deep sleep which lasted all the way till 10:45am when my alarm went off. *groan*

I miss my long, deep, dream filled sleeps. 😦

And of course, because I’m not getting to sleep until stupidly late I (if my alarm isn’t set) sleep in until stupidly late in the day thereby screwing up my days schedule. erg. Suckfest.

I keep toying with the idea of taking a sleeping pill, popping it at like 10pm so I’d be asleep by what 11pm or so? (I’m not sure how quickly those things kick in) but I’m reluctant to regulate my sleeping with medication, there must be a better way!…what it is though I am in the dark about lol

Oh, and can I say, what pisses me off even more then missing out on my dreams is the knowledge that without regular proper sleep your body stops losing weight and will sometimes even gain weight – gain! Double suckfest.

Conversations With…Myself?

21 Oct

Do you ever talk to yourself? I’m sure you do…I think we probably all do at some point. I have conversations with myself all the time – don’t worry, I am not that crazy person who talks out loud on the bus, lol, the convos are all in my head. Oh, and it’s not like I am running some commentary about everything I see and experience, the convos all have a point and are to help me decide on a course of action or figure out how to do something…you know, they have a purpose. lol. 😛

So, here is how my convo went today when I was on the way home from work:

Me: I can’t wait to get home and sit on the couch, I am so frickin tired.

Me: You have to exercise first, don’t forget!

Me: I don’t wanna! *stomps foot*pouts*

Me: Don’t you want to get skinny? You’re never going to get an agent if you don’t lose weight. *glares*

Me: Well…yeah, I wanna lose weight but…I am tired, and I think it’s raining, I can’t go hiking in the rain…

Me: Who cares if it rains, go out anyways!

Me: Hmmm, no, my hair will go frizzy and it’s cold and it’s already getting dark…and look at those clouds, it’s gonna pour.

Me: And who is going to see you and your frizzy hair? Nobody!

Me: Ok, listen, my hair isn’t the point. I have errands to do and I am hungry and I’ve been cold and tired all day and I have laundry and whenever I go hiking I don’t get to finish my laundry until way late and I want to go to bed early.

Me: Do your laundry another time, eesh.

Me: Dude, you’re in my head, you know I have specific laundry days and this is one of them!

Me:  If you don’t lose weight this week you know you’re gonna be pissed at yourself…so don’t blame me!

Me: Whatever. I am ignoring you now and going home to eat carbs. 😛

Aaaaahhh, a glimpse in to my head, enjoy yourself? lol. So, I continued to ignore that voice in my head and made myself a nice big plate of whole wheat pasta with some mixed vegg thrown in and topped with an alfredo sun dried tomato sauce, it was gooooood! Totally worth the points. 😀

Today was just a “day” ya know? I woke up hungry and stayed hungry all day, ugh, I hate that! On top of the hunger I was tired and cold and I kept walking in to walls, what’s with that?!?! So I decided that yes, exercise is good, but getting a proper nights sleep (something I haven’t managed to do all frickin week!) is better for me at this point, so no hike tonight. Instead it’s been an evening of pasta, laundry and phone calls…oh, and of course writing this blog. 😛

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 small banana = 1 point

1 Activia = 2 points

1 Amy’s Indian Mattar Paneer = 6 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

2 triangles light laughing cow = 1 point

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

85 grams whole wheat spaghetti = 5 points

1/4 cup Classico alfredo and sundried tomato sauce = 2 points

mixed cooked veggies = 0 points

1 shortbread cookie = 1 point

1 Thinsations Fudge Dipped Bar = 1 point

Total points eaten 23.

Now I know I usually try to not eat my flex points but considering how hungry I have felt all day I am impressed I didn’t go farther over my daily 22 points. Oy! All I wanted to do today was eat and/or sleep. lol. If I could have slept while eating I would have! I am feeling so hungry because I am so tired, I know this, when thinking rationally I am aware of this and that is how I managed to not over eat while at work  but still…once I got home all I could think was “carbs!” and “bed!” I gotta get more sleep cause I don’t wanna go through another “hungry day” just cause I am tired, that’s just not cool man, not cool.

Did I Really Do That?

7 Oct

I did something I totally never thought I would do – I had the idea on my way home from work and before the idea was even fully formed a different part of my brain (normally the louder part) was yelling at least 10 different reasons to not go through with the idea. What was the crazed idea? It was simply this – go for a hike after work so I get some exercise.

Crazy, right? lol. Even though I spent the whole rest of the way home justifying not going out for a quick hike I still somehow went…it’s like I don’t even know myself!

Here were my reasons to not go: (1) I am lazy (2) it looks like it is gonna rain (3) sunset comes way early now and there is a lot of overgrowth along the path so it gets dark on the path soon as the sun starts to dip down (4) I am lazy – that one deserves to be repeated (5) I didn’t have an afternoon snack so I won’t have enough energy to finish the path…there were more but you get the idea.

Here is what convinced me to go: (1) I wanted to earn exercise points to make up for the higher point lunch I had (2) the weather will be nasty soon and I won’t actually be able to use the path cause it’ll be all mud and for real too dark by the time I get home so I should use it while I can (3) for some weird reason I wanted to, I think cause I got in to a habit of exercising on tuesdays and thursdays, my body now seems to expect it…that’s it, only three pathetic reasons to go versus a whole slew of reasons to not go and what did I do? I went! *rolls eyes* logic just thrown out the window. *shakes head*

I didn’t do too badly though, better then the last time I went – course the last time I took that path I was 11.6 pounds heavier, I may not be in a shape even remotely close to being called “good” or “decent” but I can tell the difference between hiking 3.8 km at my starting weight and hiking it now. wowza.

When I was on the path, I was about mmmm, 15 minutes in maybe and I was thinking how I was doing pretty well, good form, decent speed stuff like that and then this guy comes up from behind, now instead of hollering out “left!” so I move over to the side of the path he goes off the path, leaps like a frickin gazelle over a log and some bushes then pops up on the path in front of me – all without breaking his stride or seeming at all bothered by the extra exertion. uh, hello? You just leaped in the air, like…well, what the hell leaps? um, leaping antelope? Yeah, let’s go with that! Who does that?!?! Freaky way in shape people, that’s who! I suppose if I had almost no body fat I could leap all over the place too, harumph. 😛

Today I ate:

29 grams honey nut cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1/2 cup diced peaches = 1 point

1 nectarine = 1 point

1 Lean Cuisine Sweet n Sour chicken = 5 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 english muffin = 3 points

1 burger patty = 4 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1/2 cup mashed yam = 1.5 points

1 Quakers Crunch’ers = 2 points

Exercise Points Earned = 5 points

Total points eaten is 26.5 which sounds horrible but! that is my 22 daily points and 4.5 of my exercise points. 😀 So take a deep breath, it’s all good. lol.

I had to guesstimate on how many exercise points I earned today, I would call the path a moderate activity level and it took me an hour to complete but that would only give me 3 exercise points and I worked out way harder tonight then I did in the swordfighting classes and those classes got me 3 points. So I thought ok, calculate it as a strenuous activity level but that would be 9 points – no way it was worth 9 points! I decided to compromise and picked a number in between the 3 and the 9. shrug. My own kind of math. lol.

It’s weird how people say exercise gives you energy, it never does that for me. It’s like my endorphines didn’t get the memo or something. shrug. Once I got home I showered, put laundry in, ate dinner and during all that all I wanted to do was go to bed. It’s still all I want to do but I have to wait for the dryer to finish, sigh. But hey, it’s all good, the long weekend is almost here and then I can sleep all I want! 😀

Too Much Too Fast?

23 Sep

So I went back to work today after two days off sick and thought I was gonna hafta curl up in a ball under my desk and sleep. lol. I woke up a freakish half hour earlier then normal and had some moronic thought that hey, I’m awake why not get up now? And I actually did! This is why people should never make important decisions in the morning!

Anyways, there I am, up, early, oy, and at work nice n early. Now this might lead you to believe that I could then leave early at the end of day so no harm no foul right? Wrong. Thursdays are sword fighting night and if I have to stay downtown until class starts I might as well stay at work and get paid for the time. shrug. So there I was, at work, for what felt like forever and barely able to keep my eyes open. I apparently didn’t look very good cause I kept getting comments from co-workers, sigh, way to make me feel better people! eesh. I didn’t think I would make it to sword fighting class, I mean, if I can barely stay awake sitting at my desk how am I supposed to be able to hold my sword up for an hour and a half?

AC, who is a mom and sits beside me, was very mom-like in telling me I shouldn’t go to sword fighting I should go home, eat some soup and go to bed early. Isn’t that such a mom thing? Now, if I was vaguely responsible about things I would have taken that advice…and I let her think I was taking the advice btw. I learned from my own mom to never let them know ahead of time you aren’t gonna listen. lol. I left work and gee, somehow ended up at class. *shocked gasp* How’d that happen? 😛

I hate to say it but I think she was right, sigh, why are moms always right?? I had trouble keeping the correct posture and holding my sword up and I was so tired I felt like I was in a fog…course I was in that fog all day so that wasn’t really new…anyhoo, no energy me attempting to hit targets with my rapier…didn’t work out so well. 😛 Oh, but for all that I was not doing very well others did worse! One of the girls hit one of the other girls in the face with the tip of her sword. teehee. Now before you get all “omg, you’re laughing at someone getting stabbed with a sword!” the swords are tipped and she did not die…or lose her eye which was quite close to where the sword hit…she is bruised a bit but it’s like a victory wound. I am only bruised on the shoulder and collarbone area, shrug, nothing I can show off and give a good sword fighting story about. sigh.

My appetite was wonky today, didn’t want to eat for most of the time but then would have these moments where all of a sudden I was hungry. I managed to eat all of my points, yah me!, but haven’t managed to eat my exercise points, boo me!

Let’s run down what I ate:

29 grams Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1/2 banana = 1 point

1/2 cup Sidekicks Three Cheese pasta = 4 points

1 cup butternut squash soup = 2 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

1 Activia = 2 points

1 plum = 0.5 points

1/2 cup Chipotle BBQ baked beans = 2 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 light cheese slice = 1 point

1 Jolly Time Kettle Corn pckg = 1 point

1 pckg Quaker Granola Crunch’ers = 2 points

That puts me at 21.5 points for the day and 3 exercise points earned.

I know I said I ate all my points for the day and I thought I had until I was typing out my food list and realized I counted the full 2 points for the banana but I only ate half the banana, oops! Meh, a measly 0.5 points under won’t kill me tho…and I know I know, I have exercise points and I should eat them but come on, it’s 10pm and I am not hungry. (and yes, you imagine a whiny voice saying that, lol)

The plum, in case you were wondering, is only 0.5 a point because it was so small. There were two of them so it should have been a one point snack but one got bumped around really badly in my bag and was too bruised to eat, too bad cause the one I had was really yummy, nice n sweet. 🙂 Oh, and that granola snack at the end of the day, weirdly awesome. Something I bought on a whim, one bag is two points and one bag is a decent sized snack so that’s all good. They are odd tho, this granola and chocolate ball thing that is bite sized…it reminded me of something I can’t quite place, don’t you hate when that happens? I’ll just hafta eat them some more till I figure out what it reminds me of, oh the hardships! lol

So overall for today I feel like maybe I pushed it a bit but I am glad I went sword fighting…I could have done with another day off work tho, but hey, who couldn’t do with that? 😛

Oh. So. Tired…yawn

15 Sep

Alrighty, so I had this great post idea for today but I have been exhausted since I woke up and don’t want to write a long post…I just wanna go to bed, lol, so instead of my great idea I am gonna post an itty bitty post and then go crash. Aaaah, just the idea of sleep makes me grin. 😛 Sleeeeeeeeeeeep!

I posted ages ago about sleep and how it is uber important to get your full nights sleep every night cause if you don’t then your body holds on to its weight…since I learned that I have sorta tried to make sure I always get my sleep but some days I am just so freakin tired that I must not be getting enough. shrug. I am not sure if to compensate for not getting all my sleep I should not be eating as much, ya know, counter-act the body holding on to the weight? I have a feeling that is not the way to go, it would probably compound the entire hold on to the weight thing. sigh.

Have you noticed when you are tired you want to eat more and what you do want to eat is carbs? Ah, carbs, most things that contain carbs are my fave foods…numero uno is bread, sigh. But anyways, when tired your body craves instant energy creating foods so high sugar, high carbs, stuff like that…that is a big fat Danger Zone! Stay away! If you are tired but can’t go sleep eat some fruit – you’ll get your sugar but it’s naturally occuring sugar not processed and your body does better things with it. Or eat some protein…really, just eat something healthy. lol. Veggies wouldn’t kill ya. I did the opposite today, I drank a ton of tea and didn’t eat a lot of food until I got home when I had a nice yummy serving of pasta (carbs!) and some veggies. 🙂

I found I had less resistance to tempting foods today and I am not sure if that was because I was tired or because of knowing I am not restricted to 22 points anymore. There was food offered at work, normally I just say no and it’s not a problem but today I ate half a sandwich, a couple bites of salad, some of my food and I brought home a cookie and ate half (gave the other half to the roomie). That is a lot of food that I don’t have control over and so can’t for sure know how many points it is. Eeek! I’m worried I won’t be able to control as strictly what I eat because of knowing I am going to be eating some flex points and on certain days exercise points.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fiber 1 = 3 points

3/4 cup 1% milk = 1.5 points

1 banana = 2 points

1 serving homemade potato salad = 2 points

1/2 sandwich = 3 points

    – grain bread (2), 1 slice turkey (1), tomato and lettuce

85 grams Catelli whole wheat spaghetti = 5 points

1/4 cup Tomato Alfredo sauce = 2 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1/2 cookie = 3 points

That puts me at a total of 23.5 points eaten. Ok, so not a lot of flex points eaten but since I am guesstimating on the points for the sandwich and cookie who knows, maybe I ate more! lol. I had a spoonful of a rice salad and some spinach from a different salad that was topped with 1 walnut (yes, you read that right, I only ate 1), 2 little crumbles of feta cheese (yup, counted that too!) and less then 1 tsp of a vinagarette dressing. I ate such small amounts of those three things that at most combined they would be worth 1 point, shrug, because of the uber small portions I didn’t add them in to my food list cause it seemed a tad ridiculous. But if I want to count them that would put me at 24.5 points so there goes one more flex point, sigh.

Oh well, I am too tired to care I ate some flex points, I am however wanting more food but I am sure that is cause my body thinks it’s gonna be up for a while and it wants to create energy, silly body. lol. Hopefully going to bed nice n early tonight means I will be all alert and energetic tomorrow cause tomorrow is an exercise day and I don’t wanna be half asleep while wielding a sword. lol.


25 Jun

I don’t know about you but by Thursday I am usually ready to crash. Like most people I don’t get a proper nights sleep on weeknights; if I can get to sleep I usually end up in bed late and then I have to get up early for work – aaaah, the wonders of our society. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just go to bed when you want and get up when you want and show up at work at a good time for you without the very high probability you’ll be fired? But since this will never happen I guess I will continue to work within the confines of the rules.  🙂

Not all healthy eating plans talk about sleep, some programs just assume you know how much sleep to get or maybe they just don’t think of it as a topic that should be brought up. shrug. Who knows. All I know is there are conflicting rules about sleep, just like with water. As with the water rule stating 6 to 8 glasses a day there are many reports that say you need 6 to 8 hours of sleep…it’s like a conspiracy, lol, what’s with these numbers? Who says we all need 6 to 8 hours anyways? Who are the elusive “they” we always quote? I know that if left to my own devices I can sleep way longer then 8 hours and be quite happy about it. 🙂 Sleep is easily one of my favourite activities, I think it ties in to my laziness. lol.

So, if I can sleep for 10 hours every night and feel good but feel sleep deprived on 8 hours wouldn’t the 6 to 8 hour rule be wrong for me? I don’t know, and since I am not a sleep doctor I don’t have an answer and am not going to go do a bunch of research to find the answer. I do know that by thursday evenings I am ready to drop and always end up going to bed earlier then normal happily savouring the experience of being cozy in my bed.

I know that not getting enough sleep can hamper your weight loss attempts; our bodies produce the hormone Leptin while we sleep. Leptin is the hormone that tells us when are full – it signals the brain to release hormones that suppress hunger. If you don’t get enough sleep other ways you can get Liptin in to your body is by eating fatty fish like salmon, mackerel or sardines – it’s ironic isn’t it that to help keep your weight down you eat fatty fish? lol. Did you also know that sleeping too much can hamper your weight loss attempts? This I didn’t know, I only started hearing it recently. Apparently sleeping too much messes up your hormones and you retain weight, what’s with that? Sleep too little don’t lose weight, sleep too much don’t lose weight. It seems we are all walking a fine line between too little and too much and I doubt most people are able to find that middle. So maybe that 6 to 8 hours is a good guide, like the water, a strong recommendation that you have to tweak to suit your body and lifestyle. I am learning that no matter what plan you are on to try to lose weight it will have to be tweaked to suit your body and your needs. Not everyone needs 8 glasses of water and not everyone will need 8 hours of sleep – some will work better on more, some on less, it’s all a matter of trying things out till you find what makes your body work it’s best.

Now, on to a little confession, I totally forgot to eat the rest of my points last night! Ack! So, I cheated, kinda, but in the reverse way I thought I would. lol. Who’d of thought the first time I cheat in this plan it’s by not eating enough?? I meant to eat my remaining 6 points, I even knew what I was going to eat! Two Maple Leaf cookies and 1 cup of 1% milk, I was so going to enjoy it and what happened? It went out of my mind and by the time I remembered it was 10:30pm and I was so not wanting food at that point. Meh, not much I can do about it now. For those of you who don’t know, weight watcher points are not transferable, if you don’t eat all your points on wednesday you can’t roll them over to thursday and eat extra that day, it’s not like your airtime minutes for your cell. If you don’t use them they are lost to you forever! Ok, little too dramatic there. lol.

Today I made sure I used all my points, before I got on the comp I got my milk and my two cookies and had them ready and waiting. It was nice, who doesn’t like the last thing they eat for the day to be a little treat? Mmm Mmm Mmm. 🙂

I didn’t cheat today, used all my points and am not full but not hungry which is a novel experience that I am still getting used to. After dinner last night I realized that I wasn’t hungry but neither did I have that overly full slightly icky feeling I normally have after eating. My portions were way out of control! I didn’t realize how out of control until I started measuring everything, omg, no wonder I got so big! When did I start thinking an entire pot of pasta with a creamy sauce was a dinner portion?? *rolls eyes* No more! I had some hungry times during the day but that was mostly because I was so busy at work I didn’t get my mid morning snack so my stomach was cranky, lol, it seems to be getting used to a schedule and varying it makes it pout…can stomachs pout? Hmm, maybe it’s more of a ‘rebel’, yeah, the growling unhappy noises is more like a rebellion then a pout, pouting is quieter. So, except for the minor rebellion where it started yelling at me the day went well. I was pretty hungry when I got home cause I worked OT so my dinner was late too…I’m sure my stomach thinks I am soooo mean, lol, what I ate was a weird mix of things cause I was getting rid of left overs. Little bit of this, little bit of that, whatever I could scrounge up to make a meal.

You may have noticed I eat things that most people probably wouldn’t think of eating when trying to lose weight, for instance the pasta. Well, weight watchers is supposed to let you eat anything you want as long as you fit it into your points. I could try to make it sound like I am really testing that out by eating non diet type foods but in reality I refuse to not eat the food I already have in the house from before I decided to do weight watchers. I am not getting rid of it or letting it just sit there taking up space and eventually going past it’s expiry date all to appease my desire to get thin and hot. shrug. So for now, I am eating weird combos of things and as my cupboards get cleared out I will bring in to the house healthier options…course, I will always have Kraft Dinner in the house, I would never give that up completely, just couldn’t do it. What I did do though was buy the microwavable kind cause then I just make one bowlful at a time instead of an entire box cause you know if I make that whole box I am gonna have a binge and eat most of it in one sitting…I know, disgusting, but I am sure you have some weird food thing that to others sounds disgusting. 😛 It’s weird though that everytime I did that I felt horrible afterwards, in every way, I felt bad physically – my stomach felt disgusting and hurt, I felt bad mentally – I’d totally beat myself up about it, I’d feel bad energy wise – my poor body would be putting so much work in to digesting I could do pretty much nothing but sit there…and yet, despite all these negative feelings I would have after binging on KD I still did it!! I’d convince myself that “this time I will just eat one bowl” and it never happened, even as I said that to myself I knew I was gonna eat way more. It’s like some weird self-punishment or something. shrug. Ah well, can’t do that now cause no way would all those points fit in to my day! lol.

My food today was:

3/4 cups Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

tea = o points

1 banana = 2 points

1 salad = 0 points

1 hard boiled egg = 2 points

1 tbsp salad dressing = 1 point

2 triangles of cheese = 1 point

1 cup grapes = 1 point

1 nectarine = 1 point

1/4 cup Maple flavoured baked beans = 1

1/4  cup+ 1/8 cup brocolli cheese pasta = 3

2 pieces of toast = 3 points

2 tsps margarine = 2 points

2 Maple cookies = 4 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

There are some notes to be made about some of the foods from today. The salad was from a place called The Salad Loop, here is the website for them http://www.saladloop.com They are this great place where you go around buffet style and pick whatever you want in your salad and the cost is based on weight. For a little over $6 I got lots of lettuce (some leaves didn’t look totally fresh but it didn’t kill me so whatev), some green and red peppers, corn, a hard boiled egg, mushrooms, a cherry tomato, cabbage and a small amount of salad dressing. Sure, I could have spent the same amount of money and gotten a burger fries and a drink but this is the sacrifice that must now be made, the same if not more money for food that doesn’t look nearly as yummy or filling. It wasn’t a bad tasting salad though, I wish I hadn’t missed the peas, those would have been nice to put on, and I didn’t notice the meat selections till too late either but now that I know how to better navigate the tables I am sure I will do better next time I go.

The triangles of cheese, yum! Those are The Laughing Cow brand of cheese, light of course.

yummy and so low in points!

I already had some just cause I love them and when I checked the points value I found out I can eat 2 wedges for only 1 point! Amazing! I used to only ever eat one wedge at a time because I thought it tasted so good it must be uber bad for me but now I know better. I have never had the regular, I just automatically bought the light and I think it rocks, it is also cheaper then the regular, I don’t know why but everytime I buy it it costs less, and not like it’s on sale, thats just the regular pricing. shrug. It’s fine with me! I would totally recommend them. 🙂 They helped make my salad not feel so insubstantial. I didn’t put it on the salad, they don’t cut very easily, but ate it on the side. I have also (at home) tried to cut it in to little pieces, I usually get blobs but then I put the blobs in to a hot bowl of soup, usually a spicy kind of soup, it’s a good combo cause it doesn’t really melt, it just becomes softer and it helps make the spicy not so spicy.

Tomorrow is Fiesta Friday at work, tacos here I come!!…with a nice big salad on the side…;)

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