Archive | February, 2013

What A Day

21 Feb

Busy days are proof that the more you need to get done the more you can get done. If I am having a lazy relaxing kind of day I get almost nothing done, the dishes seem an insurmountable obstacle. Laundry? So not happening! Leaving the apartment to do errands? You might as well be asking me to cure the global economic crisis. But a day that is highly scheduled, has a lot that has to get done, those days I can do everything on my list and more! What’s with that? *confused face*

Today was an awesome day, despite the fact that it’s supposed to be my day off and it still started at 5:30am, ugh. I am soooooo not a morning person! And yet, today, my alarm buzzed and I got my lazy butt out of bed and started to tackle the first of all those many things I had to get done today…uh, the first being feed the cat, the second being hop in the shower lol

I was filming today and had to be on set, camera ready by 7am. Something I find very telling in life is that sure, for my day job I can get to work for 7am two shifts a week, I get there because I don’t want to be fired and I’m pretty sure consistently being late would (1) really piss off the person I am relieving and (2) really piss off management and get me fired…neither are things I want to happen, so, I get my butt to work for 7am, and while I really enjoy my day job, I hate those shifts. But! If I have to get up and be on set for 7am or earlier, it’s fine, it’s better then fine, I get out of bed the second that alarm goes off, no hitting the snooze button, no bitching as I fumble around for the lamp switch, no hiding under the pillow and wishing for a major catastrophe to happen so I can justify not getting up. I happily get up, mind already on what I will be doing on set that day as I trip over the cat on my way to his food dishes and then hop in the shower – seriously, that is how every day starts for me, dealing with the cat’s stomach then my cleanliness…:P

Starting to get off topic there, oops! lol

So, up early was I (and apparently I am now channeling Yoda lol) and off to set I went with a bag stuffed with changes of clothes, shoes, makeup for touch ups (just in case) and well, that’s it…normally I would pack a snack but I didn’t remember this time, my bad! I of course had my ever present travel mug filled with wonderfully hot tea, can’t start the day without that! I got to set, did the filming, had a blast, then actually got off early enough that I could have lunch before going to work. I don’t normally work Thursdays but there was a function being held at work and they asked if I wouldn’t mind coming in for just 4 hours so there was extra staff if it got really busy. Being that I am poor and need money I obviously said yes. 🙂 After lunch, which I ate at home with the cat on my lap (he was ignoring his food and was uber interested in my Subway 6″ turkey on 9 grain whole wheat sub, the mooch!) I changed, turns out I didn’t need to take my work clothes with me to set after all, and headed off to work. It felt very weird going there on a Thursday.

Work was fun, I enjoy my time there, and because it was a little shift during a fun function type thing it didn’t seem quite as much like work as it normally does lol. What can I say, I can easily trick myself! 😛 I had to dash out of there at 5pm on the dot though because next on my daily schedule was a physio appointment that I can’t be late for, if you are late you run the risk of not getting in because there are no vacancies to fit you in but you still have to pay for the session, eek! I had a painful, but useful, session with my physio, which lately is how all the sessions are. I learned something potentially interesting though. See, I can’t afford to join the gym because of how much I have to pay per week on physio. Today, my physio asked how I feel body wise compared to how I felt before the accident, he so shouldn’t of asked me that lol The first thing I said was I feel fat. I know he meant how does my body feel in relation to the injuries but ah well, he asked, I answered. He said I could start back at the gym if I go gentle and do the exercises approved by him, that it would most likely increase my recovery time because it would be helping the muscles in my back and neck heal quicker. I told him I want to go back but I can’t afford my weekly physio charges and the cost of the gym membership so I was kinda stuck. He said that the insurance company may pay for three months of gym fees because the exercise would help in my recovery and I should talk to my case worker. So of course, I added “email my case worker” to my list of things to do in the day and did that as soon as I got home after physio…which I almost fell asleep during, oops! lol The sessions always end with me laying on heat pads for my back and neck and the early start to the day caught up with me as I was laying there motionless and warm, almost dozed off! Good thing someone dropped something and it jarred me back to full consciousness…although at the time all that did was make me feel grumpy. 😉

After all of that I got to head back to the apartment, where I have since been dealing with student loan stuff and taxes, hanging with the cat, watching some tv, texting and talking on the phone with various peeps and am now seriously contemplating going to bed since I have pre-work plans for tomorrow and I want to be fully rested!…or at least partially rested lol

If I could accomplish this much everyday well, I’d be exhausted lol, but think of how productive I would be! Actually, let’s not go there, I like being lazy 😉

A Slight Delay, sigh

18 Feb

Ok, so my plan for today didn’t work out but I have hope for later in the week, kinda lol.

I woke up this morning sick, ugh, talk about timing! My plan for today was to go to the gym after work, use my One Free Session coupon I printed off the website and assuming I liked the place sign up for a membership. I was so psyched for this (also kind of scared, but mostly excited lol). But yeah, so didn’t happen. All while getting ready for work this morning, and all during work I kept thinking maybe I’ll be ok by the time I’m done work, maybe I can still go! By the time I was done work though I was exhausted, and not the normal didn’t get enough sleep the night before exhausted but that lethargic tired you get when sick, and I was so so so cold and couldn’t get warm and my throat was killing me and…and…and…why go on listing symptoms right? We’ve all been sick so you know what was going on over here. Bleh.

I had no appetite all day but I made sure I ate a small breakfast and a provided by work lunch and I eventually managed to choke down some dinner. I’m pretty sure I could have gone the day without food cause that is how squashed down my appetite is but since I am trying to correct my not eating properly habits I figured it was better to force a mildly healthy days worth of food down my throat then not eat. Isn’t it feed a cold, starve a flu?…or something like that…or is it drown a cold as in I should have been drinking more fluids then normal? *confused face* hmm…I’ll have to google this cause I’m not sure which way it is supposed to go lol 😛

I am super annoyed that I didn’t get to the gym today cause I won’t have another chance to try until Wednesday, although maybe that is for the best cause that’ll give me an extra day to feel better…meh, whatever, I am still annoyed. I know some people think you should still work out when sick but I find that if I do that I take even longer to get better and the day after the work out I am in even worse shape then I probably would have been if I’d just stayed home and let my body rest. I figure each person has to figure out what works best for their body and go with that. 🙂

This cold is like a harassing little mosquito that won’t leave people alone. A couple people at work have also had it and it comes back, and back, and back! I was sick about two weeks ago, not so sick I was bedridden but sick enough getting through the work day was pretty hellish and on my days off I cancelled all my plans and just stayed home and tried to get better. I finally did get better, obviously, but then today was like some weird resurgence of the cold only instead of coming on gradually it hit me all at once. The same thing happened to two other people at work, they were sick with their colds 2-3 weeks ago and around the second week of being better they got sick again. So TF is sick again at the same time as me and CJ was sick for the second time last week, she said she only really felt sick for two days the second time around so I am hoping I only have one more day of this and then my immune system gets itself organized and kicks some invading microbes butts! *crossing fingers*

I don’t want all my plans to go out the window cause look at how long it took for me to stop being depressed about how I am and get motivated to change it! If I lose this momentum and end up down in the hole again thinking “what is the point so much damage has been done it is not fixable” can someone come slap me upside the head cause seriously, that is not a fun place to be. 😦

I did try to drink more fluids today but I don’t think I managed to drink as much as I normally do. See, I am a tea-aholic lol I drink tea like it is going out of style! I have a travel mug that I use at work that is constantly filled with tea, as soon as I finish one cup I make another, it’s like a never ending 8 hours of tea! 😀 Granted, I don’t drink it that fast cause the cup keeps it hot for a long time (the whole reason I use the travel mug and not a normal mug, sneaky huh? lol) but I definitely go through a lot of tea while working. Then when I get home the first thing I do is make a cup of tea and depending on my plans for the evening I either am out or home and if I am home I will be drinking more tea. Hey, there are no calories, it’s a fluid, holding a hot cup helps keep me warm-ish and I have English blood in my veins which basically means my blood is half tea 😉 being  a heavy tea drinker is practically my destiny lol. But today, I didn’t really want it as much. I wanted the hot cup to hold but that’s about it. My tea drinking was definitely not endless, shocking! When I got home I did have two cups of tea over the course of the evening and about a glass and a half of water, all of which were drunk in an attempt to make my throat feel better (fyi, totally didn’t work, sigh). As a result, now I am feeling mildly dehydrated and yet, my tummy doesn’t want anything in it so I guess it’ll be a battle of the body systems, wonder which will win? Will the body parts that want hydration be strong enough to tamp down the upset tummy feeling long enough that I will be able to drink some more water or will the tummy win and the water be a no-go mission? Ooooh, the suspense! 😉

To be honest, right now I don’t really care, about the missing out on the gym or the possibility of being able to drink something or anything cause I feel like crap and the only thought I have in my brain right now is going to bed…which is where I am headed riiiiiight now! *yawn*

A New Start

17 Feb
I'm the pink bird...

I’m the pink bird…

I have been feeling like that pink bird, all round and fat and failing at losing weight…not even just losing weight but maintaining my weight, watching my food choices, getting daily exercise…a failure at every aspect of my so-called healthy living lifestyle. I’ve gone a bit off the deep end lately with trying extreme things to get back on track and ya know what? None of those extreme things worked, shocking right? 😉 lol They didn’t last, how could they? They didn’t get me results, even if they had they’d of been false. They didn’t make me feel good, both physically and emotionally. I wasn’t giving my body what it needs to function at peak efficiency and then  I was somehow surprised that I wasn’t getting the results I wanted? *sigh* How dumb am I? 😛

Well today I took the first step towards fixing this. What was my step? I went shopping! 😀

Yes, shopping. You read that right lol. But it is what I went shopping for that matters.

I hit up Popeye’s, the store I buy my protein powder and other supplements from, I haven’t been there in aaaaaages! I was almost out of protein powder right before I moved and decided to wait till I had moved to buy another container cause those containers are just too big and annoying to want to deal with when moving lol. Buuuuut, after I moved I never got back in to my exercise routine and my eating habits changed and before you know it I’d stopped even pretending to try to remember to go buy some more powder, epic fail on my part. While picking up the protein powder I also got my NutraSea Omega Oils, normally I get the one with Vitamin D in it but the one without Vitamin D was on sale so I went that route. I figure summer is eventually gonna get here and I’ll get enough Vitamin D then lol 😛 I also bought something I have been hearing great things about, its called VegeGreens, it is a powder that you can put in your protein shake or add to a glass of juice or water and it gives you multiple veggie and fruit servings without having to eat all your veggies and fruits. Now, I know some of you might be thinking “why not just eat the veggies and fruits? it’s got to be the healthier more natural way to go!” and you know what, maybe you’re right, I can’t say for sure because this one time I leaped before doing all my research but I’ll tell you why I decided to try it. I don’t get all my fruits and veggies in a day that I am “supposed to”, I fall quite short, when I am following my eating plan my veggie and fruit intake is guarded because of how many carbs are naturally occurring in them. Also, I just don’t eat that much food, that’s right, I confess! So sue me, I don’t eat enough food in a day that I can fit in all the fruit and veggie servings the Canada Food Guide says I should have as well as all the protein and dairy and blah blah blah...it’s too much freakin food! lol I had been toying with starting to take a multivitamin but I don’t agree with multivitamins and after speaking to a doctor I am even more convinced I don’t want those in my body but this product is all natural and sort of like a better version then a vitamin…theoretically! I’ll give you an update on it once I’ve been taking it for a while, let you know what I think of it. Cause we all know my opinion matters! lol 😉

So that was Stage 1 of shopping…yup, there were 2 stages! Two! Yah! 😀

Stage 2 was hitting up Walmart, it was originally going to be a trip specifically to buy the ingredients needed to combine with the protein powder and omega oil to make my protein shake but they were having some really good sales so I also bought some other healthy foods that I am quite excited about! 🙂 See, part of the shopping is for powders an stuff, the rest of the shopping is for food, normal food, healthy food, food I’m not embarrassed to have in my shopping basket…it’s been a while. I used to go grocery shopping and actually feel a little smug about how I had only healthy items in my basket and other people had cookies or crackers or chips or cakes or some seriously processed foods of some sort. Oh how the smug have fallen. *sigh*shakes head in shame*, lately when I do shop what I have been buying has not been anything to be proud of. But that changed today! I bought some fruit, fresh and frozen, frozen veggies, almond milk and real milk, healthy soups, skinless boneless chicken breasts, cottage cheese, all kinds of yummy good for me things! 😀 I actually took a picture of everything I bought today after work, take a look:

The results of my shopping today

The results of my shopping today

Doesn’t it look great? Well, think what you want, I think it looks great! 🙂 In case you are wondering, I only bought the already sliced mushrooms cause they were on super cheap, and I also got the chicken for the same reason, it was a good sale day at Walmart. 🙂

The soups aren’t strictly in my eating plan, ok, fine, they aren’t anywhere near to being in my eating plan lol but I am trying to be a little less dictator-ish and a little more realistic this time. There will be days I don’t have time to cook the chicken, days I don’t want to eat the fish that is already in my freezer, days I am tired, or running late or just plain ol lazy. Those days I will lean a bit on what is technically processed food and therefore supposed to be forbidden but is on the healthy end of the scale for processed foods and items I feel aren’t that bad for me. The soups I bought are all vegetarian, loaded with veggie servings (ya know, those things I never eat enough of? lol) and tasty. They are all soups that I could eat when on Weight Watchers, heck, I could have the entire can or box of soup and not blow my points out of the water if I had wanted which is probably why I still feel they are ok to eat now. Unfortunately the real world doesn’t always go as planned, and those soups are for those days. A decision I feel comfortable with. I may change my mind a couple months down the road when I’ve been eating healthier, maybe they will become a thing I can’t tolerate anymore, who knows? I can’t predict the future so I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.  🙂

Stay tuned to find out what I am doing tomorrow to continue with My New Start! dun-dun-dun *teehee*

 

The Fake Film Festival

13 Feb

Hi all you lovely readers! I was asked to be in a short film that was going to be entered in to a “fake” film festival. You may be wondering what I mean by fake, well, the rules are this, you take a pre-existing movie, condense it to sixty seconds, and voila!

It is a low budget film (ie. almost no budget lol) but we worked hard and it turned out to be pretty funny. We did Thelma & Louise in sixty seconds. Yah!

I am putting a link below and if you have an urge to click on it, watch the sixty second video and then hit the “Like” button underneath the video (essentially, voting for the video) I’d appreciate it. The top 25 videos get shown in a proper screening! Exciting! And the winner gets a trophy, bragging rights and $10K. I am more excited about the exposure since as a newbie actor that is oh so needed. 🙂

Thanks in advance to all that vote! 😀

Thelma & Louise in Sixty Seconds

*crossing fingers* that the link works lol

Dreams

12 Feb

Dreams.

We all have them, some people don’t remember them, others remember in vivid detail. Sometimes they tell great stories, help you sort through something you can’t face when awake, scare the crap out of you or are just plain weird.

I am a master of weird dreams, no seriously, I have always had vivid weird dreams. They usually turn in to nightmares at some point, you wouldn’t believe how many ways and times I have been killed in my dreams, sigh, those dreams I don’t like, duh. The other dreams though, usually those I like.

My dreams are always a story, shown in chronological order that I remember in vivid detail for a couple hours after I wake up. If I make a point of remembering a dream then I’ll remember it longer, if I don’t dwell on it then it fades by about hour three of my being awake and I don’t think of it again. I’ve never been able to continue a dream the next night which is annoying when I am woken mid dream and don’t get to finish a story lol I wonder if anybody else gets annoyed over that?

Last week I had a dream where mermaids are real and were portrayed much the same way vampires were in the Blade movies. So, limited numbers of humans know about them, they operate sneakily in our society, they are like a sub-culture that if you discover them odds are good you are gonna die. In the dream, the mermaids had learned of a way that they could walk around on land for limited amounts of time which meant they could basically mess with people and then escape back in to the ocean. Mermaids are also basically one big mafia group so in my dream two cops were chasing a group of 4 people through a store, wanting to arrest them when they realized they were being lured in to a bad situation and lo and behold the guys being chased turned on them, shot them all and then dived in to the conveniently placed ocean where they turned in to mermaids, reported to the head of their organization (which, fyi, was Ariel from the Disney movie lol) and well, it kept going from there but you get the idea. lol.

This, in my world, is a fairly normal dream, least I was on the planet the entire time in this dream…I’ve died while saving the starship Enterprise D from exploding…yes, I watch Star Trek, no I don’t look like I do. 😉

Why am I going on about dreams? Simple. I had one last night that was about my body and it freaked the hell out of me!

I was going to work out and hadn’t done so in a long time, for some reason I took a pair of capris I use in the summer to wear while working out. I was with a bunch of people, my mom, close friends, a random grouping that will most likely never happen in reality as they don’t all live in the same city. We were all changing to go run on a track (something else that would never happen lol) and when I put on the capris they were oh so tight that I could barely close them and when I looked in a mirror I was horrified by how I looked. Not only were they super tight I was way bigger then I am now, a completely different body shape then what I have ever been, I was super round, super large and round all through my torso. I am far less accepting of flaws in myself then I am in others and I started panicking about how I had let myself go. I put on a loose fitting shirt to try to hide how bad the fabric stretched across me and all I could think was “start running! start running! all you need to do is start working out and it’ll go away!” in my dream I knew with that certainty you can only have in a dream that all I needed was one good workout and it would all go away and the capris would fit properly again.

Oh if only it was that simple, *big epic sigh*

In reality, I am horrified by how I look right now, and sometimes I do feel that all I need is one really good session in the gym to alter how I feel about how I look but I know it will take more then that. I hate that it’ll take more then that since I am a needing instant results kind of girl lol. You’d think after my nice an slow, healthy weight loss I’d be used to not getting instant results when working on my body/health but…I’m not! lol 😛

I think this dream was my unconscious mind bringing to my attention just how unhappy I am with how I am looking right now. The dream exaggerated how large I am, and exaggerated how I feel about my looks and exaggerated how easy it would be to fix what my laziness and then not being allowed to exercise due to my car injuries has done to my body. I was at a point where I was proud of how defined my arms were, how perky my ass was getting, how my thighs were noticeably thinner, how my cardio numbers kept improving and my strength was increasing. Now? Now I am nowhere near proud. In fact, I am terrified about how long it will take to get back to where I was and then keep improving.

I so desperately want to go back to the gym, I finally got clearance from my physio (admittedly for a way limited exercise regime but whatev! it’d be exercise!) but I can’t afford even the cheapest of memberships because of having to pay for twice weekly physio sessions. It’s driving me insane! I do what I can at home but it’s not the same as having access to a treadmill and free weights and a freakin bosu ball, how insane is it that I want a bosu ball so so so much?! lol I keep thinking once my physio is over and I have money again I should look in to investing in to some work out equipment so I’m not so reliant on access to a gym to get to use decent equipment buuuuut once I have money again I have other things it has to go towards and oddly enough, bosu balls are kinda pricey. *rolls eyes*

Ah well, I know I shouldn’t bitch and complain about it, there are lots of people out there who have things a lot worse but some days I just get so frustrated with how stuck I seem to be. 😛 But hey, I won’t be stuck forever right? 🙂

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