Everyone has a different goal, sure they can often times be lumped in to groups but each person’s goal is unique. In terms of weight loss the main groups I have been focused on lately are:
– get skinny
– get strong
The reason I am focused so much on these two groups is because for the loooongest time if you had asked me my goal it was “to get skinny”. That’s it, end of story. All I wanted, more than anything, was to be skinny. I’m decently tall for a girl (5’8″) and feel it is grossly unfair I am not also skinny, aren’t tall girls supposed to be skinny? *pout* All my Weight Watchers, low calorie, paleo (and more!) eating plans were followed because of the promise I would lose weight and I interpreted that as “I would get skinny”, after all, that’s what happens when you lose weight, right? All my hiking, treadmill running, HIIT training, weight lifting, squat challenges etc were all done for the same reason, to get me skinny.
Obviously that hasn’t happened.
Over the past couple months or so my goal has, hmm, I don’t want to say completely changed but…shifted I guess? Evolved. Altered. Broadened.
Now when I think of how I want to look it’s not just “skinny” it’s a combination of words: skinny, fit, obvious muscle definition, strong.
I want to be strong.
Not body builder strong, *shudder* but my body’s version of strong.
I say “my body’s” because I firmly believe not every body can achieve the same “look”. I heard this from a trainer years ago and I have to say, it makes sense to me. My body has a natural build, that I sadly, covered in excess squishy-ness but under all my squishy-ness there is a body type that I have to work with. I have hips, not just cause there is fat on them but because my skeletal frame gave me curvy hips, some women have super slim hips sometimes referred to as guy’s hips, no matter how much I diet, how much I work out, unless I get plastic surgery I will always have curvy hips. Just like the woman with the super slim hips will always have super slim hips. You can’t change what your bones are doing. You have to just deal with what you have and work with it.
As I have come to terms with this I took a look around for inspiration, for women who have the physical look that I am trying to achieve. Whereas before I used to think of Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts or any number of runway models and obsess over how they are so skinny and I want to be soooo skinny but how the hell do I get to look like them?? Now I am thinking more along the lines of Michelle Rodriguez. She is slim, has muscle definition, nobody doubts she is strong (and not strong for a girl but simply strong), curvy, fit and feminine. The feminine part is important because I find the media forgets that women who are strong can also be girly.
Michelle Rodriguez – slim but with muscles
Nicole Kidman – sooooo skinny
I realized that a lot of the fitness activities I partake in were never going to get me to “skinny”, because while yes they provided cardio and burned calories the activities I lean towards also involve working my muscles and that will automatically strengthen my muscles…which, if I am lucky, will give me some level of muscle definition. Actually, I know it will give me muscle definition cause last dragon boat season my shoulders and arms had actual definition that I lost during the off season and am oh-so-hoping to get back soon. Muscle memory how I am relying on you!
For a while I worried that I was focusing more on getting strong because I thought I was incapable of achieving skinny, I was looking at my change of perception, my change of goal as a failure. But now, I don’t think that is what this is about. It’s not just about my being realistic for what I can achieve either. It is what I want. I could cut my food intake drastically, do nothing but cardio and let my body eat away at itself until I am super skinny but then what? I won’t be able to dragon boat, I’ll be too weak to compete. I won’t be able to make it up the side of a mountain when I go hiking, I’ll have no stamina or strength to manage the trails. I won’t be able to enter things like the BMO run. I’d never finish the course. For all that I want to be skinny, I want to be strong more. I want to be able to enjoy the various activities I take part in. I want to be able to sign up for a new challenge and know I’ll be able to work hard towards completing it. I want to not just keep up with others but pass them by – hey, what can I say, I’m competitive! 😉
The happy side effect of this new goal, this goal of attaining strength, muscle definition and being fit is that it will automatically make me look slimmer. A pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat so if I can swap out my fat (obviously not all of it or I’d be dead lol) for muscle I’ll look slimmer, be stronger, get my muscle definition aaaaand manage to uncover the body that I hid underneath all this squishy-ness. And wouldn’t that just be fab? 🙂
sorry for the random girl in her underwear…
sidenote: I didn’t put dragon boating in the list of activities I do to attain the goal of skinny because I dragon boat because of how much I love the sport…it just has the sweeeeeet side effect of being a fitness activity lol
The Amazing Shrinking Woman 
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