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How I Handle Pain

26 Mar

sigh, I am that person who always thinks “it doesn’t hurt that much, I’ve hurt worse, suck it up and deal” when something hurts. I think this way for all pain, whether it is an organ that has twisted and is dying (totally happened), a bleeding finger I bashed during a dragon boat race (true story) or my hips (my current true story). I try to just, I dunno, deal, shrug.

suck it up

I don’t know if people would consider it a wise way of dealing with pain, but it’s my way. There are of course exceptions, obviously. When the pain from the dying organ got too much to deal with I went to the ER, I waited hmm, almost 24 hours before going, then had to wait 48 hours longer because the stupid doctor didn’t believe I was in pain and kept putting off doing anything to help me until I insisted. I’m still irritated about that but should probably let it go since it’s in the past… ๐Ÿ˜›

Same thing with the hips, when I could no longer walk because the right hip was in super intense pain (and well, it wouldn’t really move anymore – fyi totally awkward situation that) I went to the ER. That was way back in the beginning of January and I am still dealing with the hip issues, arg.

I got a doctor, that referred me to a specialist, who has been sending me for tests and I’m irritated with the whole thing and wanna call it quits. But then a day like today happens and I think “oh yeah, that’s why I am still going through with all these lame doctors appointments”

Yesterday I got my hips ultrasounded, weird huh? It felt weird, and I got that icky ultrasound gunk on my pants, ewwww! *pout* The guy who controlled the wand informed me that I am too young to be having hip problems (no, really?? I hadn’t realized that! *rolls eyes*), he also informed me he didn’t think he saw much of anything. Some fluid but not all that much. I was taking this as good news since the other tests I’d had (the multiple x-rays and CT scan) all showed fluid in the hip which is usually a sign of infection whiiiiich from doctor’s faces when they say that seems like it must be a bad thing….I decided that if he saw “not all that much fluid” it must be going away on its own which means I must be closer to no more hip problems. Sounds good, right?

Today however both my hips were complaining. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am not impressed. I want to say it is the ultrasounds fault but not sure if that is right or not. The x-rays and CT scan all made my hips hurt way worse than they had been already because of the painful positions they put my legs in to get various shots of my hips. For the ultrasound I just had to lay there while he dug that wand thing in to me, shrug, not that big a deal. I’d say hands down this was the easiest hip test I’ve had so far. ๐Ÿ™‚

But like I said, today my hips hurt. I can’t sit for very long because the pain just builds and builds and builds so I get up and walk and then I’m hurting because I am walking. Apparently I can’t win. Crap. Oh, and to make it worse, instead of it being just the right hip it’s both of them at the same level of pain today, stupid hips.

I got prescribed at my last specialist appointment some drugs. They are pain pills that are apparently super harsh to the stomach so they are combined with something that is supposed to help the stomach, greeeeeat. Took me forever to fill the prescription cause I don’t like taking pills, I only filled it because I thought the doc might ask if they helped at my next appointment and I wanted to truthfully be able to tell him I tried one lol. ๐Ÿ˜› While I was out today I kept kicking myself for having the pills at home because I thought if there was gonna be a day to pop one, it’d be today. When I got home however my decision about that wavered.

When I’m in pain I have a checklist of questions that goes something like this:

(1) have you hurt worse at some point? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(2) can you still physically function? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(3) does the pill have side effects you don’t wanna deal with? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(4) can you stay in and rest/apply heat/wallow in misery without inflicting your misery on to others? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

You get the idea…if I can manage to avoid taking meds, I will. shrug.

So by the time I got home I was all, “dude, you’ve hurt worse, your hip is still able to move, you don’t have to do anything super impressive tonight so you can use the heating pad and try to rest, suck it up and don’t take the pills. save them for when it is really bad. don’t be a wimp!”

don't take the pills!

don’t take the pills!

Which would be how I came to be sitting here, chilling, no meds in my system, heat on my hips, and two spots of matching pain throbbing in my hip joints. Lovely.

Even if I wanted to I can’t take the pills now, you have to take them with “lots of food” according to the pharmacist and it is too late in the evening for eating, shrug, means I’ll just deal with it. I’ll be glad tomorrow I didn’t cave and take a pill today but it does make me wonder, will I ever end up taking one of these pills??

no wimps

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