Tag Archives: pain pills

How I Handle Pain

26 Mar

sigh, I am that person who always thinks “it doesn’t hurt that much, I’ve hurt worse, suck it up and deal” when something hurts. I think this way for all pain, whether it is an organ that has twisted and is dying (totally happened), a bleeding finger I bashed during a dragon boat race (true story) or my hips (my current true story). I try to just, I dunno, deal, shrug.

suck it up

I don’t know if people would consider it a wise way of dealing with pain, but it’s my way. There are of course exceptions, obviously. When the pain from the dying organ got too much to deal with I went to the ER, I waited hmm, almost 24 hours before going, then had to wait 48 hours longer because the stupid doctor didn’t believe I was in pain and kept putting off doing anything to help me until I insisted. I’m still irritated about that but should probably let it go since it’s in the past… ๐Ÿ˜›

Same thing with the hips, when I could no longer walk because the right hip was in super intense pain (and well, it wouldn’t really move anymore – fyi totally awkward situation that) I went to the ER. That was way back in the beginning of January and I am still dealing with the hip issues, arg.

I got a doctor, that referred me to a specialist, who has been sending me for tests and I’m irritated with the whole thing and wanna call it quits. But then a day like today happens and I think “oh yeah, that’s why I am still going through with all these lame doctors appointments”

Yesterday I got my hips ultrasounded, weird huh? It felt weird, and I got that icky ultrasound gunk on my pants, ewwww! *pout* The guy who controlled the wand informed me that I am too young to be having hip problems (no, really?? I hadn’t realized that! *rolls eyes*), he also informed me he didn’t think he saw much of anything. Some fluid but not all that much. I was taking this as good news since the other tests I’d had (the multiple x-rays and CT scan) all showed fluid in the hip which is usually a sign of infection whiiiiich from doctor’s faces when they say that seems like it must be a bad thing….I decided that if he saw “not all that much fluid” it must be going away on its own which means I must be closer to no more hip problems. Sounds good, right?

Today however both my hips were complaining. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am not impressed. I want to say it is the ultrasounds fault but not sure if that is right or not. The x-rays and CT scan all made my hips hurt way worse than they had been already because of the painful positions they put my legs in to get various shots of my hips. For the ultrasound I just had to lay there while he dug that wand thing in to me, shrug, not that big a deal. I’d say hands down this was the easiest hip test I’ve had so far. ๐Ÿ™‚

But like I said, today my hips hurt. I can’t sit for very long because the pain just builds and builds and builds so I get up and walk and then I’m hurting because I am walking. Apparently I can’t win. Crap. Oh, and to make it worse, instead of it being just the right hip it’s both of them at the same level of pain today, stupid hips.

I got prescribed at my last specialist appointment some drugs. They are pain pills that are apparently super harsh to the stomach so they are combined with something that is supposed to help the stomach, greeeeeat. Took me forever to fill the prescription cause I don’t like taking pills, I only filled it because I thought the doc might ask if they helped at my next appointment and I wanted to truthfully be able to tell him I tried one lol. ๐Ÿ˜› While I was out today I kept kicking myself for having the pills at home because I thought if there was gonna be a day to pop one, it’d be today. When I got home however my decision about that wavered.

When I’m in pain I have a checklist of questions that goes something like this:

(1) have you hurt worse at some point? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(2) can you still physically function? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(3) does the pill have side effects you don’t wanna deal with? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

(4) can you stay in and rest/apply heat/wallow in misery without inflicting your misery on to others? If the answer is yes, don’t take the pain pill.

You get the idea…if I can manage to avoid taking meds, I will. shrug.

So by the time I got home I was all, “dude, you’ve hurt worse, your hip is still able to move, you don’t have to do anything super impressive tonight so you can use the heating pad and try to rest, suck it up and don’t take the pills. save them for when it is really bad. don’t be a wimp!”

don't take the pills!

don’t take the pills!

Which would be how I came to be sitting here, chilling, no meds in my system, heat on my hips, and two spots of matching pain throbbing in my hip joints. Lovely.

Even if I wanted to I can’t take the pills now, you have to take them with “lots of food” according to the pharmacist and it is too late in the evening for eating, shrug, means I’ll just deal with it. I’ll be glad tomorrow I didn’t cave and take a pill today but it does make me wonder, will I ever end up taking one of these pills??

no wimps

No I Wasn’t Skiing!

6 Jan

The amount of times I got asked at work today if I was using crutches because I hurt myself skiing is, well, un-countable! lol As if that is the only reason a person would be on crutches? *rolls eyes*

one of my crutches, I feel it needs a name but what to call it?

one of my crutches, I feel it needs a name but what to call it?

I also got offered in a kind of joking way the use of one of the resident’s walkers because she wasn’t going to need it for the day. Hmm, what else? It was suggested I get a wheelchair or a motorized scooter, it is now a running joke that I should move in to where I work since I am experiencing a medical problem generally had by seniors, I was given all manner of nicknames and I amused many people just by being on the crutches.

That being said I also experienced amazingly nice offers of help, people stepping in to make things easier for me, hugs, sympathy, get better wishes…so I guess all the being poked fun of was worth it for all of the nice stuff. I had multiple residents tell me that if I needed help with getting things done to call them and they would come down from their suites and give me a hand. These aren’t bored-to-tears-looking-for-something-to-do people in case you are wondering, these are busy-have-their-own-lives-but-are-so-thoughtful people that they would take time out of their day to help me.

Sometimes the simplest action or offer can really make a girl smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

Work was tricky because of (1) the crutches and (2) the hip discomfort. Notice it has been down graded from horrible horrible pain to discomfort? Yay!

The anti-inflammatory+pain pills seem to be helping a bit, they are causing oh so not lovely side effects though, which sucks. I’m constantly straddling the choice of which do I want to deal with: the hip pain and loss of mobility or the side effects? You’d think I’d be all about getting rid of the hip pain and mobility issues and screw the side effects buuuuuut they are pretty unpleasant so I’m torn…

I was late with my pill this morning and had a raging headache because of it which concerns me. If after only two days of being on these pills missing one gives me that nasty of a headache what will happen after I’ve been on them for the full length of the prescription? *worried face* Also, they are giving me a gurgling tummy which while not painful or anything is kinda weird…oh! Don’t forget to add the almost constant nausea which makes it difficult to eat so I can even take the stupid pill, sigh. There are other side effects but I’ll stop the list here lol

I’m intending to do some internet research on these pills, see what is being said about them and I may go to the walk in clinic and see a non ER doctor about them, make sure they are really the right choice for me. Not that I don’t trust that second doctor that I saw who prescribed them but, well, I don’t trust her, shrug. She didn’t seem to really care about how much pain I was in or seem at all interested or concerned about what I was going through. Maybe I am asking too much of her but the doctor I saw on the first visit definitely cared about what was going on with my hip. The second doctor seemed to think I just wanted some pills and to be let go. The moron. I really want to know why this happened, did I do something to cause it, can I prevent it from happening again, how can I speed up my recovery, stuff like that…that second doctor, she had no curiosity left which is just sad, and annoying. Plus, I really want to know what the hell is in my hip?? A calcification? An infection? A tumor? What the fuck is it?!?! It’s In. My. Hip! It’s freaking me out! Nobody said the C word, and I’m sure if there was even a hint of that it would’ve shown in my blood work (messed up white blood cell numbers an all that – thank you high school biology lol) but still, when you are told twice there is something showing on the tests and that something is in your hip well…it makes a brain wander down some not so pleasant paths…

On a lighter note my cat just stretched and fell right off the ottoman he was just moments ago passed out on lol

I’m hoping when I go to work on Friday (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are my days off) I will be sans crutches *crosses fingers* cause they are so annoying, and attention grabbing in a way I don’t like, aaaaaand if I’m still using them it’ll mean the hip isn’t getting better as fast as I would like. So positive thoughts people! Positive thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

Something else that kept getting commented on was how my outlook was good, how I was in a good mood despite what was going on and how I wasn’t letting this get me down. Those comments just confuse me, lol. Even if I was in a negative head space because of what was going on I can’t let that show at work, like I’m gonna be a cranky-pants in a professional environment cause I’m hurt? Uhhhh, no! But also, it’s all about perspective. Sure this sucks, sure I don’t like it, sure I’d rather it didn’t happen but it’s not the end of the world, it’s not a death sentence, it’s not even a permanent change in lifestyle sentence. It’s a I’m-hurt-now-but-will-most-likely-get-better sentence. What’s so bad about that? The second ER visit, a guy got brought in on a back board, wearing a heavy duty neck brace, who had a skiing accident. He went flying and landed head first against a boulder. The doctor told him if he’d hit just a little bit harder or at a slightly different angle he’d be paralyzed from the neck down. He has two fractured vertebrae, is on flat bed rest for potentially months, has nerve damage that should heal (but ya never know) and his biggest movement for the next while will be getting put up to a ten degree angle so he can eat and drink. He won’t be leaving that bed (or at least the bed they transfer him to) for a long time, his life right now is permanently changed and who knows how his long term life will be affected.

My hip problem compared to that? It’s nothing. I went to a nail appointment after work today (to get my shellac polish removed), hobbling along on my crutches. That guy can’t even scratch his knee with his fingers, or sit up right, or go to work, or walk, or hug his family and friends, or go to the bathroom without a nurse helping him, or shower, or or or…I’m thinking you get my drift lol

There is always somebody who is worse off so before getting all woe-is-me think about all the things you can still do. All the things you still have. Then maybe give yourself a little hug and a pep talk and go on your merry way, but send some positive vibes out there for those who are worse off, cause they could probably use them. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hospital Visit Number 1

5 Jan

This is not how I expected to start my new year lol I am right this second sitting with my right leg stretched out, a blanket folded under the knee, pain meds in my system and crutches leaning within arms reach. Laaaaame!

Let me catch you up!

Tuesday (Dec 31/13) I felt a twinge in my right hip. Something kinda hurt but not too bad, shrug. It reminded me of a twinge I had in my hip years ago that went away when I stopped sitting on my ass and started exercising more. I thought it was my body being all “woman, stop being lazy and get back to the gym!” I wasn’t worried, more annoyed.

Wednesday (Jan 1/14) My right hip actually full fledged hurt. I was not impressed! It was a pain strong enough that I was limping and nothing seemed to make it better. Didn’t matter if I was sitting, standing, walking, leaning, it always hurt. I was limping but I was still able to do everything I normally do at work and at home so while it sucked I figured I’d let my body heal itself.

Here’s the thing about me, I don’t like going to the doctor. I figure if I am sick I’ll let my immune system take care of it. If I hurt myself I’ll rest whatever part of me I hurt and let my body heal itself. Our bodies are amazingly well equipped to take care of themselves but so many people want an instant fix and aren’t willing to just chill and let their bodies get better on their own. So even though my hip hurt and I was limping and it sucked I didn’t even contemplate going to a doctor.

Thursday (Jan 2/14) I had sooooo much trouble sleeping! I got woken up in the middle of the night because of how much pain I was in and couldn’t get back to sleep. When it was time to get up for work I had trouble getting out of bed, getting ready for work, getting in to my suv, standing once I’d been sitting, walking, carrying anything…basically anything that involved my right hip (which is ย practically everything!) hurt so much I would have to stop and take deep breaths and bite my tongue so I didn’t make a noise. I had plans after work to hang with my lil sis that I couldn’t break so even though I wanted to cry from the pain I met up with her when work was done. We hung out, went for dinner and chilled at the diner we were in. At this point there was no such thing as a comfortable position for my hip. The booth I was sitting in made me want to cry, omg it was so painful! We sat for waaaay too long and when it was time to go I could barely stand. I was stuck in a bent over position, hinged at the hip cause I couldn’t straighten out completely and I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to make it back to the suv but really, what choice did I have? shrug. After I dropped my lil sis off I went to the ER at the closest hospital. I wasn’t going to go but my lil sis pointed out I wasn’t in this much pain after my car accident and I realized this was ranking right up there with my knee being stuck in a dislocated position for hours and my ovary being twisted and dying. If the pain is ranking that high up there then I guess I should cave and go see a doc, shrug.

Enter The Hospital!

I got to the ER, got admitted decently fast, had really nice nurses, got assessed, had to pee in a cup twice, had what seemed like 1/3 of my body’s blood drawn for testing, had my right hip X-rayed in incredibly painful positions, oh, and spent a helluva lot of time laying in a bed waiting. After all, what is a hospital visit without a lot of waiting, right? lol

waaaaaiting!

waaaaaiting!

Left: The pattern on my hospital gown Right: My clothes, I reeeeally wanted back in my clothes!

Left: The pattern on my hospital gown Right: My clothes, I reeeeally wanted back in my clothes!

After all the testing, and waiting, and picture taking the doc came to speak to me and tell me my tests results. I’m paraphrasing here but what she said was something like this: the x-rays show you have something in your hip. A calcification or growth, possibly an infection.

Nice huh? lol

Because the x-ray didn’t give specific enough images I got given some pain pills, crutches and a doctor’s note to bring back with me the next day when I have to return and get a CT scan.

the portable comp the doc brings over when they come see you and the bill for the crutches

the portable comp the doc brings over when they come see you and the bill for the crutches

The crutches I was brought had to be bought instead of rented but I was assured renting would cost the same or possibly a bit more so I might as well buy a new pair. I didn’t have to pay then of course, I just had to sign the bottom of that paper saying I acknowledge the crutches are $31 and that I know the hospital will mail me a bill. The T3’s they sent home with me and the pain pills they gave me while I was there were free, oh, and of course the visit itself didn’t cost anything cause hey, land of health care! lol ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think my health insurance through work will pay for the crutches, I’m gonna hafta call them tomorrow and ask though cause I’m not absolutely sure. I know I have coverage but it’s not like I memorized what all is covered lol

By the time I was allowed to leave it was stupid late, almost 3am? I’d been texting with a friend while there and she insisted on coming to get me instead of letting me drive myself home, I’m super grateful to her because I was exhausted and being in one position for so long in the hospital bed had made the hip seize up even more. Ouchie.

I went to sleep with the help of a T3 and the knowledge that I was gonna have to go back the next day for the CT scan and oh man that was most likely gonna suck. Least the T3 let me get some actual sleep that night! ๐Ÿ™‚

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