Tag Archives: boxing

So Many Things

18 Mar

I have so many things I want to blog about tonight it’s crazy lol I have had post ideas almost everyday since my last post but never had time to write them up so now they are all circulating in my head and want to be released in this one post, how oh how do I pick just one? Maybe little bits about everything and in the future I can elaborate if I want to write more? Seems as good a plan as any! 😛

I said in my last post I want to be physically active daily and boohya! (that is so not how to spell the marine sound is it?? lol) I was! *happy dance* Not always in an organized gym visit type of way but in some way…oh wait, I had one day of rest I think, hmm, yeah, yeah I did, due to scheduling and muscle pain (from the previous days workout) but I don’t feel bad about it cause I was active all the other days and ate better then I had been so all in all, I made a lot of improvements in my “healthy living lifestyle” this past week. Personally, I think that deserves a happy dance, don’t you?

Now, what did I do for exercise? That is the fun part! I went to the gym a couple times, one of those visits was after a work shift that ended at 9pm, certain days my gym is open till 11pm, sweet huh? I didn’t get to complete my entire workout because I didn’t get to the gym until 9:45pm and I requested some help for the stairmaster (I wanted to try a new piece of cardio equipment) and the help was long in coming and not really that great, sigh, oh well! I also ran on that visit and used some weight machines aaaaaand did some free weights. I was that annoying person who worked out till literally the last second the place was open lol. You should’ve seen the guy working, he was so irritated but whatever! You are open till 11pm so I am staying till 11pm! neener neener 😛 lol

I also had a great time with my friend KL. Normally when we hang out we go to a movie or dinner or something else sedentary. Not that there is anything wrong with those activities but now that weather is theoretically getting nicer and while we are still young enough to have energy in the evening after a day of work why not do something active? The evening we went out it was pissing rain so no outdoor activity for us! We did something way better though, we went to this boxing class thing. I can’t call it boxing cause it wasn’t us with a boxing coach actually boxing in a ring or anything. It’s basically a twist on that Curves place – ya know, that place where you show up, do a 30 minute circuit training exercise deal and then leave? Ok, so imagine that idea, the 30 minute circuit training but based around boxing, oh, and only for women so no intimidating smelly men to get in the way, lol. Cool huh? I had a lot of fun, it was a really great workout, we were both sweating by the end and neeeeeding water. There is a trainer there who kinda helps push you along, motivationally I mean not literally, and there is a buzzer that lets you know when to not only switch stations but when you are at your station when to switch from normal speed to double time. See, you stay at each station for 2 minutes and in 15 second intervals you go from normal speed to double time. Oh, and the stations are organized so you go from a high intensity activity to a lower intensity activity, so the first station is hitting a punching bag using a left-right jab combo, the next station was abs I think…I can’t remember the order but you know what I mean right? Please say right! lol If you already having boxing or kickboxing training like we both do it is a breeze form wise to get through the circuit and you can really focus on speed and intensity. If you don’t have any experience it might take a bit of adjusting but you’ll get the hang soon enough. 🙂 I would like to join there, switch it up between the gym and that place buuuuut it is expensive, I think it was $50 or $60 bucks a month, something like that, just to do a 30 minute circuit where you’re mostly hitting punching bags and cushions, no sparring or anything…so I am hesitant to join…I think it’d really help me with getting in shape and being stronger for dragon boating but if I do join it won’t be till next month cause of budgeting.

The other exercising was using my exercise bike and doing stuff at home, I didn’t wimp out though, I was doing high intensity and then low intensity exercises to get my heart rate up and get real benefit from my at home workouts. Sidenote, the cat thinks I am nuts, lol, and he sits behind me when I do a sit up so when I go down I bump him and then he has hurt feelings and I have to give him a treat later to make it up to him, brat. 😉

The abso best workout I am going to get though is tomorrow when, dun-dun-dunnnnn…Dragon Boat  season starts!!!!! You can not find a person more excited then me right now! We start training tomorrow so at 7:30pm I will be out on the water, rain or shine, warmth or cold, in sickness or in health lol Seriously, so psyched for this! 😀

hmm…I didn’t get to all my post ideas and already this post is pretty long, guess I’ll have to leave the rest for next time. Let me leave you with a picture of tonights dinner which I actually cooked! No buying dinner for me tonight, I slaved away 😉 and made a healthy meal of grilled red and yellow peppers, steamed asparagus and three skinless boneless chicken tenders that are sweet thai chili sauce flavour. Oh heads up, there is a story behind those, which I guess I am saving for another day lol

Tonights homemade dinner! Mmm!

Tonights homemade dinner! Mmm!

OMG! I almost totally forgot! I watched the finale of The Biggest Loser tonight and am so psyched that Danni won! By one freakin pound! Holy crap! She was always my fave contestant and I am so so so glad that she won! I am going to use her as my inspiration for the next while, when I have a day where I think I can’t do it I’m gonna think of her and how she kicked ass and decide that if she did it then so can I! 😀

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Moving Is Making Me Fat(er)!

3 Nov

O.M.G. Moving has royally screwed up my eating and exercising, to the point that the other day I had to lay down and have a bit of a nap cause my body felt ill from all the crap I’d been eating and lack of exercise and proper hydration.

I didn’t move far, just another section of the city I was already in but you’d think I’d move to the other side of the world for all the weirdness this move has had. *rolls eyes* Let’s start at the beginning shall we?

I rented a one tonne truck that I was going to drive myself and had some totally awesome friends there to help me load and unload all my crap. However, one of the people who was supposed to help I requested not come (due to some personal issues that would take up waaaaay too much space here, short version is he’s a jackass who is mean to everybody and I wasn’t willing to expose my other friends to him…and no he’s not my friend, he’s the bf of one of my close friends) so I had two other friends who were coming instead of him. (They are so sweet, I told them what the jackass had said to me a previous evening and that I was super upset by it and they immediately said they’d help me move so I wouldn’t need the jackass.) So anyways, I was still having my wonderful insomnia, ugh, and the night before the move couldn’t get to sleep, which was probably for the best cause I still had to finish packing, yup, I’m that girl! lol. My mother would have been horrified at the state of my apartment so close to moving day 😛

I forced myself to lay down for 2 hours and try to get some rest before I had to get up and showered etc before heading out to pick up the truck. Can I say, starting my crazed early morning experiencing abject terror cause of having to drive a huge ass moving truck is not something I want to do again soon. *shudder* I got back to my place and started moving little things while waiting for my friends to show, they were all supposed to be there at 9am but only one was on time lol, the rest trickled in but that’s ok, they were all there by 9:30am. What I didn’t realize is there would be so many people who thought they knew the best way to load a truck…HW has truck loading experience and knows the best way to load everything, IN has helped oh so many people move and knows the best way to load a truck, my landlord came out and he drives trucks for a living so he knows for sure the best way to pack everything in there *rolls eyes* Too many cooks in the kitchen! At one point all us girls just stood there and watched as all three guys were in the truck ordering each other on the best way to stack boxes. Men – too funny. lol. 😛

While the sitch was entertaining it was also stressful cause I had the truck for a very limited time and if I was late then I had to pay an additional $150 and I sooooo don’t have that kind of money! eek! Oh, and I was also running on one cup of tea and that was it, I didn’t have time to eat anything so I was kinda hungry. I managed to grab a granola bar that I saw sitting in the top of a bag as it was being loaded in to the truck around 10am or so…I was up at 6am so my tummy was not all that impressed with what I finally gave it lol.

Anyways, we got the truck to the new place and started unloading, luckily I am on the main floor and at the front of the building so for taking stuff into the new place we set a ladder in front of the balcony and had one person on the balcony and other people passing stuff up to them, made it go a lot faster.

Unfortunately, the painter who was supposed to be done on the Friday was not done so we were moving my stuff in while he was painting, awesome huh? We couldn’t let anything touch any walls so stuff was stacked horribly in the middle of any room we were able to get in to past his painting gear…all my careful labelling of what room each box was supposed to go in wasted, sigh.

We were running behind schedule so my epically awesome friends unloaded everything super fast to the yard in front of the building and said they’d take everything else in and for me to take back the truck so I am not late – how great are they?  😀 I was late getting the truck back but I used the lighting up of a warning light on the dash as my excuse, I pulled the scared innocent female routine and told them the light scared me so I drove slower cause *tilts head*big liquid eyes* “isn’t that what you are supposed to do?” Hey! Don’t judge! I will do what I need to! lol. 😉 fyi…it worked. 😀 Oh! sidenote, I didn’t damage, crash, hit, scratch or do anything else bad to the truck – I got me some mad truck driving skills! lol

After that I went to the old place to clean it but was so so so hungry I just had to get something to eat. I would have gotten Subway except I’d had them for dinner the night before and also there is this fish n chip shop that I love and never go to cause hello? battered and deep fried fish? yeah, so not healthy, sigh. But I figured I was gonna be living so far from it from now on I’d never go back, sadness, so one last time wouldn’t kill me. I got a two piece cod and chip meal, YUM!!! 😀

The plan was to clean the entire place then go back to the new place to dig out my halloween costume and go par-tay…my plans don’t often work out though and this was no exception. 😛 The vacuum stopped working cause the bag was full but all the replacement bags were at the new place, it was taking way longer then expected to get everything cleaned and frankly, I was tired so moving slower then normal. When the vacuum stopped working I used it as an excuse to leave for the day, go to the new place and ran in to the painter who was still painting! He said he was gonna leave at 5pm and finish tomorrow morning but then decided to stay until he was done that evening and I made a joke about how if he’d come back tomorrow he’d of woken me up to which he was shocked cause he was told we were moving stuff in early (we had permission) but that no one was living here till monday…crap. Where else was I supposed to sleep, all my stuff was here! I muttered something about crashing at a friends house and left, so I had no costume cause with him there I couldn’t go searching for it or get ready there, I was falling asleep on my feet and I couldn’t legally stay where my stuff was…double crap. I had to kill time until the painter left so I went to a Tim Horton’s drive through got a tea and a muffin, ate it while sitting in the suv and texting with friends and then drove back and hung out in my suv in my apartment parking lot just waiting…Lame! What’s lamer is I was so tired I fell asleep in my suv, thank goodness a friend texted me and my phone woke me up lol.

So all stealth like I snuck back in to the apartment once the painter was gone, put the couch together, grabbed a throw cushion and crashed. Luckily my couch is freakishly comfy. But I had to get up uber early just in case the landlady or the painter came in so I didn’t get all that much sleep – and it sucks I had to miss the halloween party! Although, I’m thinking with how tired I was I’d of had one drink and been done lol.

I spent all of Sunday cleaning the old place and working on the new one and really, since then everyday is me working on the new place. It’s taking longer then you might think cause I’m the only one here to move furniture and some of it is heavy and I can’t set up common area rooms properly cause my roomie hasn’t moved her stuff in yet – she’s having major issues getting her move organized, eek.

So to recap why I am getting fatter: Since Thursday I have eaten at Subway once, Fish n Chip shop once, Tim Horton’s 3 times (muffins and a sandwich) a restaurant’s burger and fries once (a real restaurant not fast food but still epic bad burger, it has coleslaw on it!), one medium pizza, numerous granola bars, oh and a toaster strudel. And how many times did I exercise since Thursday? Once! And that was yesterdays boxing class cause I was so desperate to work out that nothing could have kept me away! It’s amazing though how much better I felt physically and emotionally after boxing class. 🙂 I know one class isn’t going to make up for all the food damage I had inflicted while moving but still, I felt energized, thinner, healthier, just all around better! I must be deranged or something… 😉

You may be wondering why the heck I ate out so so so much instead of cooking? Well, for the first couple days I was techinically squatting in the apartment so I couldn’t have it looking like I was staying there, that and my mattress was in the kitchen and blocking the fridge and stove lol. Then I got the mattress out but all my kitchen stuff was packed so I had nothing to cook with. Then I finally unearthed some stuff and opened the stove and was so horrified I closed it right back up. Apparently the people before me didn’t believe in cleaning, soooooo gross! But the one cleaning product I don’t own is oven cleaner so I had to wait to buy some of that. Ridonkulous!

But finally, I have oven cleaner, decent access to the kitchen and some pots and pans and plates and bowls unpacked so tomorrow I will hopefully be able to cook in my kitchen…don’t hold out hope though, I’ve got no skills at cleaning ovens so I may be microwaving my food…which is ok cause I bought some microwave dinners today just in case! lol 🙂

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Don’t Make Me Go Postal On You

14 Oct

Do you ever have one of those days where people and circumstances piss you off quicker then usual?

That was me today. sigh.

I don’t know why this happens, it doesn’t happen all that often luckily…some say I have a temper cause of my red hair, ah, don’t you just loooove stereotypes? Yup, I sure do, I absolutely adore being judged based solely on my hair colour. *rolls eyes* I won’t even go in to the comments I get from people based on the other stereotypes about redheads.

Personally, I like to think I have a temper because I feel emotions strongly, I don’t think it has anything to do with my hair colour.lol And! My temper isn’t even all that bad anymore! It’s not like it mellowed with age or anything, more like I got better at controlling it and deciding when to let it “be freeeeee” and when I am over-reacting.

Well today, oh today, *big sigh*, I thought I was gonna burst a blood vessel cause of all the stupidity surrounding me.

It started with Tim Horton’s, I love Timmy’s! I however, generally, don’t care much for the majority of the staff there…it’s like management purposefully picks employees who don’t listen to what the customer wants and are incapable of critical thinking…and see, that’s a sign of my temper cause that’s such an over-generalization of the staff there. I have had great experiences at Tim’s, staff that were super friendly and helpful and it’s not right for me to label them all as incompetent-annoying-stupid-boobs just cause I’m in a mood…and yet, right now, I am. erg.

Here is how my convo at the Tim’s counter went (oh, and I’m inside face-to-face with the cashier not talking through one of drive thru boxes):

Me: Hi, I’d like a pumpkin spice tea and a tin of fine ground coffee please.

Staff #1: What? you want coffee?

Me: Yeah, a tin of the fine ground coffee…oh, and a pumpkin spice tea.

Staff #1: *staring at her till*muttering* coffee…coffee…coffee…Ok, one tin of coffee *she then goes and grabs the tin*stares at me expectandly

Me: and a pumpkin spice tea, you still have that right? the website says you stock it for all of October…

Staff #1: Pumpkin spice donut?

Me: uh, sure, I guess I could take one of those too but I’d really like the pumpkin spice tea.

Staff #1: in a tin?

Me: no, in a cup, so I can drink it.

Staff #1: oh! ok. *punches stuff on her till* your total is $$, the other lady will make your tea and put it over there

Me: Thanks. *I go to the pick up counter*

Staff #2: here’s your wrap

Me: I didn’t order a wrap, I’m waiting for my cup of tea

Staff #1: she wants a pumpkin tea

Staff #3: she wants what?

Staff#2: I’m not sure…

Staff #1: the pumpkin tea, do we still have that?

Staff #3: no, we’re all out of that

Staff #1: *to me this time* oh, we’re all out of the pumpkin tea *goes to turn away*

Me: well, can I just get a steeped tea then (they are the same price and I’ve already paid)

Staff #1: what?

Me: a steeped tea?

Staff #1: what is that?

Me: *louder and with even clearer pronounciation* a STEEPED tea, you know, the normal tea?

Staff #1: ooooh, um ok, what size?

Me: whatever size you charged me for when you placed the order for the pumpkin tea is fine.

Staff #1: ok, cream and sugar?

Me: just one milk please

Staff #1: so cream and sugar.

Me: No, just one milk.

Staff #1: one cream?

Me: Milk!

Staff #1: oh, milk, ok

That was my first encounter with humanity today, well face to face anyways, it totally set the mood for the rest of my day. *wrinkles nose*

It got even worse when I was in Wal-Mart. Along with my other items I was buying I needed to buy a roll of scotch tape (you know, the kind you can write on?), well, when I got to the till it wouldn’t scan, system said it wasn’t “in the system” so the cashier throws the tape to the side, says it won’t scan and proceded to charge me for my other items. Uh, I needed the tape, otherwise I wouldn’t be buying it. lol. So I tell her I need the tape and that started off a whole chain of events that almost drove me to go postal in Wal-Mart. *rolls eyes*

I won’t write out the whole convo cause it’s too long but here are some fun highlights of this encounter (1) cashier won’t use her phone to call for help or get a manager cause “her throat hurts” (uh, she was talking just fine) (2) even though the barcode isn’t in system so their till doesn’t think the tape exists she wants me to go back to where I got it and grab another one (3) a manager came over, said “oh yeah, sorry, we can’t sell this to you cause it’s not in the system, same thing happened with this tape last night” to which I pointed out if they knew the tape was causing a problem last night they should have taken it off the shelf because I need the tape and since it was there for me to select they have to figure out a way to get it in the system so I can buy it (I was getting pissy by this point) (4) the manager goes away, with the tape, a different manager comes up to see what’s going on so the cashier sorta explains it (5) I’m told to wait to the side a bit while the cashier rings through those behind me, by doing this I got hit by a cart when the lady pushing it didn’t pay attention to where she was going (6) after waiting 20 minutes and the manager not coming back I pay for my other stuff and tell the cashier I want to speak to a manager about the “situation”, I am told to talk to a manager I have to go wait in the Customer Service line – which is huuuuuge (7) I wait in line, the manager finally pops up with a different type of tape and wants me to buy that one instead, I explain I need the other type cause it can be written on, (8) they realize it’s stupidly easy to sell me the tape by putting it in the till as a generic code and I finally get to leave.

After all that I couldn’t wait to get to boxing class! lol I took out much of my frustration while boxing this evening and boy did it feel gooood! Least I won’t be going to bed annoyed with the world. lol. 😛

Sorry this post had nothing to do about my weight watchers or exercise plan, I’ll be more on the ball with my writing tomorrow. 😀 maybe 😉 teehee

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My First Food Was: Banana

29 Sep

Now, I don’t mean my first food when I was a wee little thing and finally getting to eat something solid cause that was probably something gross, like Pablum, ugh. 😛

What I mean was my first food that I ate yesterday. As those of you who read my last post know, I’ve been dealing with an unwelcome guest named Stomach Ulcer (bad ulcer bad! tsk tsk! *shakes finger*) Well, on Tuesday of this week I could finally go back to the doctor and get a new (and hopefully better) drug. When I told him how I was doing and how the drug I was currently on was doing absolutely nothing good for me we chatted a bit and then he wrote me a new prescription, yah! He also gave me 5 weeks of samples for the drug he just prescribed, so I can try them for 5 weeks without having to fill and pay for a prescription and then if in 5 weeks the drugs are fully kicked in and working I can fill the prescription but if they aren’t working I can go back to the doc and get the next level of drug without having to pay for drugs that don’t work…does that make sense? I feel like I rambled…

Yesterday was Wednesday and by the time I ate something I had taken two of the new pills – cause I take one at night and one in the morning. I actually felt…hungry! And not the gnawing growling pain my stomach had been feeling before that wasn’t really hunger but tricked me in to thinking it was hunger…this was real hunger, with hunger growls an everything! Haven’t had that in a while lol.

I decided to have a real breakfast – the anticipation for food, real food not Weetabix cereal, was intense lol. I fried one egg and one slice of tomato then put those and one cheese slice on a piece of toast, then I had a second piece of toast with 1/2 tbls whipped peanut butter and half a cut up banana on top. I figured if I was still hungry after all of that I’d eat the other half of the banana but when I was picking up my plate to take my food with me to the couch I couldn’t resist picking up the left over half of the banana. I ended up eating the banana first and omg it was soooooo good! I mean, bananas are good under normal circumstances but eating one after over a week of eating pretty much nothing but Weetabix cereal, it was like a flavour party in my mouth lol.

I just sat and savoured that banana 😀

Now, I started off with what I think of as a good choice for a first meal on the new meds. Simple, tasty, multiple food groups – and I ate it slowly keeping most of my senses focused inwards to my stomach just waiting to detect any pain or unhappy sensation so I could stop eating asap…is it a little sad that eating brings fear now? *thoughtful face* I am never one to take the totally safe route though, sigh, so I also had a cup of tea with me. I have had NO caffeine since this whole ulcer thing happened cause duuuude, caffeine+ulcer=massive pain! After I finished the food I started sipping the tea…at first it seemed ok and I was all ready to celebrate but before I was able to drink half the tea it happened…it started with some stomach clenching, a squeezing sensation, then bam! Pain! and the unhappy gurglings of a pissed off ulcer. Erg! stupid.stupid.stupid me. *rolls eyes* I immediately stopped the tea intake and swapped to a glass of milk and then some water lol. Can you say Damage Control? 😛

The rest of yesterday was a bust cause the pain from the tea didn’t really go away, it stayed low level but was always there. blerg. Because of that I ate stupidly lol. Those who have had ulcers know that a lot of people gain weight when they have an ulcer cause they tend to keep eating in an attempt to alleviate the pain but the food in the stomach is what is causing the pain…mean little cycle that. shrug. So, once the pain kicked in I kept wanting to eat, luckily (luckily?!) I’ve been dealing with this for over a week so I know eating will just make it hurt more sooooo I tried to be careful but really, I wasn’t lol.

Today I took a new approach. I started my day with the dreaded Weetabix cereal (yup, back to that again) but I topped it with cut up nectarine, yum! I only needed half of the nectarine cut up so I ate the other half after I finished the cereal. I made tea again, I can’t help it!, but with the awareness I probably wouldn’t get to drink even half of it, this time I stopped drinking before the pain could happen and I chased the tea with a glass of water so yah for me beating the ulcer! Yippee! lol.

I found that I was getting hungrier sooner then I normally would, after about 1.5 hrs or so instead of 3 but I think that’s cause (1) I’ve been half starved for over a week and my body is pissed and (2) I’m eating smaller amounts at a time so it’s not enough to keep me full for 3 hours. As a result I ended up having a snack of yogurt, then a meal of veggie soup with two pieces of bread with margarine on them and a Weight Watchers lemon cake thingy (fyi, the cake thing was way good!). Then I went to boxing, then I had half a fajita premade salad topped with half a cut up chicken breast. 🙂

All of that used up 19.5 points and I get 20 a day. I wanted something as a sweet but I’m much more aware of my stomach now and what it can handle and I knew eating a chocolate something or other would make it unhappy (sadness) so instead I made a cup of cocoa (which might seem weird but it’s made with milk so it’s actually quite soothing) and I had a package of Weight Watchers sourdough pretzels. I probably could have done without the pretzels but, well, I don’t have a good excuse for why I ate them…shrug, it’s me, I just ate them. lol.

So I’ve eaten 5.5 of the 7 exercise points I have earned…could’ve been worse I s’pose. 😛

Another happy thing (on par with being able to eat normal food again!) is that I have been able to exercise again, wOOt! I got to go to Dragon Boating this past monday and I boxed today! 😀 I can’t believe I am so happy I got to exercise but I am. lol. I only managed one boxing class last week and no dragon boating so it’s great that this week I got to go boating and boxing – and neither time did I end up doubled over in pain or feeling like I was gonna pass out (like last week’s boxing class) 😀

It seems I am fairly back to normal…kinda…I’m getting wicked heartburn late evenings, something I have never had before, but I’m hoping that goes away after I’ve been on the drugs a bit longer. I didn’t realize heartburn was so uncomfie, and I apologize for all the times I saw heartburn meds ads and scoffed at people who said they needed drugs for heartburn, it really is nasty and heartburn sufferers now have my total and complete sympathy…hmm, I just realized it’s 12:39am and no heartburn…maybe mine has gone away?? Oooooh, here’s hoping! *crosses fingers*crosses toes*crosses eyes…wait, that doesn’t work, I can’t do that lol 😛

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I’ve Been Down

8 Sep

So I’ve been a bit down in the dumps this week, which is part of the reason why I haven’t been posting – nobody wants to read unhappy posts right?

There is a saying about how you are never given more than you can handle…personally I think that’s one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Of course we at some points in our life have more things than we can handle, but since we don’t have an option about handling everything that’s on our plates we just have to suck it up and keep going. The only other option would be to, well, either die or go crazy…neither of which are good options. The first one kinda sucks cause then everything is over (even the good stuff) and the second will leave you branded for life in a very negative way…it does not pay in today’s society to be branded crazy in any way cause that’ll follow you for life.

So what do we do when we have too much to deal with but still have to keep going? Well, I think a lot of the time some things will slide a bit and maybe you’ll drop the ball on some of the smaller things, but eventually you are able to catch up and get a handle on what is still on your list.

My list of things I am dealing with was just too much and this week sucked cause of it. I’m dealing with the new medication that isn’t working well so I’ve been sick everyday, I still don’t have a new roomie so now I’m trying to find somewhere I can move to that I can actually afford but that isn’t happening cause I’m stupidly poor, I had to borrow money from my parents which I hate having to do (you’d think by now I’d be able to take care of myself but nooOOooo not me, sigh), I’m having side effects from the new medication so on top of being sick I’m dealing with a host of new and not so lovely symptoms, the agent I met with last week decided not to sign me so I still don’t have an agent and at this point I don’t even have one whose thinking about signing me, I’m supposed to be memorizing lines for an audition I have on saturday but I’m having trouble reading due to one of the side effects from my meds (I’m way nauseous and reading makes me feel even worse), and basically, I am stressed.

Nice list huh? I know there are people out there with worse lists than me, and I know I am being a whiny git but come on already! Like it wasn’t bad enough when I was stressing about not having an agent, not having any money, not having a roomie and not being able to find a place I can afford on my own now I get to add all these stupid medical problems on top of it? I was doing ok with my list of crap ass things I had to deal with until the medical stuff got piled on top, that was the final straw that took me from stressing-but-dealing-with-it-and-keeping-a-good-mood to stressing-and-can’t-deal-and-wanting-to-give-up girl. I don’t like being the give-up-girl but some days I just have nothing to give to the world. sigh.

I don’t know how people with chronic medical problems deal with life, as soon as my meds get screwed with and I’m as sick as I would be everyday if I didn’t have my meds even the smallest thing in life becomes too much to deal with. I can’t eat cause everything (literally everything) makes me sick, I can’t sleep cause lying down makes me sick, I’m exhausted, hungry, nauseous, light-headed, dizzy and short-tempered all cause my drug plan is making me try these other pills. I still have like 3 weeks of this ahead of me, 3 weeks! Boxing almost killed me yesterday and today, I thought I was gonna hafta run out of the room yesterday and throw up cause all the motion made my stomach even worse, arg! I refused to leave though, I don’t want to make concessions to my stomach more than I already have. But because of that I totally ended up under-eating yesterday cause when I got home I was so not able to eat. Today was a bit better, we weren’t going up and down so much in class this evening so when I got home I was able to eat but I’m still 5 points away from hitting my daily points and I honestly don’t know if I can eat anything else, my stomach just can’t handle the food.

Maybe this is why I was so much slimmer when I was younger, not cause I was always working or out with friends but because I didn’t eat enough cause my stomach wouldn’t let me…hmm…not the best diet plan in the world but I guess there are worse ways to go lol 😉

So despite all the bitching I have done in this post I am actually a bit better today, I’m getting more used to the sick feeling so I’m getting better at handling it. I’m hoping I’ll actually be able to sleep tonight cause of exercising yesterday and today – I’m hoping I wore myself out enough I won’t wake up cause I am feeling sick lol. I’m going to stop whining about not having an agent and go apply to the next wave of the ones I short listed (I applied to the ones that take electronic submissions first cause it wouldn’t cost me money to email them all my stuff, now I am applying to the agencies that take paper submissions only – the post office will soon be my best friend lol) and I am going to continue to hunt for a roomie and/or a new place to live that I can afford on my own.

It’s not the best list, cause except for the agent hunting, it’s fairly non-specific, but right now it’s the best I can do cause I gotta sign off and go memorize some lines!  🙂

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