Closer To Normal

5 Apr

I’m slowly getting back to normal, yah! 🙂 I felt more normal today, and felt I looked closer to normal – by this I mean I was walking without hunching over my tummy and I am slightly more hydrated so I’m not as bony and sickly looking. lol. The only part of this I don’t like is that I think my tummy looks more poofy then when I was sick – I know it’s a healthy “poof” lol, it’s because I have food in my system again and I’m not gaunt but still…I had been enjoying the flatter look to my abdominal area and am a bit sad that it’s getting rounder again, sigh. *rolls eyes*

I even managed to eat a normal sized dinner today – amazing! 😉 I’m still not eating a lot during the day but I felt actual hunger this morning around 9:30am or so which I am taking as a sign that my tummy is digesting, phew, and my body is getting healthier and needs more energy. 🙂 See? All kinds of positive changes – and I suppose if a poofier tummy is the price I must pay for being healthier well, I’ll pay it – for now! One day this gut of mine will be flat – I’m determined about this! lol.

So today I ate:

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 Activia Raspberry yogurt = 2 points

1 banana = 1 point

1 Fiesta Salad = 5 points

85 grams tofu = 2 points

1 tbls sweet and sour sauce = 0.5 points

Total points eaten = 14.5

Ok yeah, I have a lot of points left over but ugh, I’m still so full from dinner and don’t want to eat – I’ll find some kind of a snack I’m sure cause I can’t leave my points so low but it’s already after 8pm and I still don’t want my evening snack…it’s a slow process this getting back to normal! 😛

I find that I am having trouble reading my body – today was the first time I actually felt hungry so I have been eating when I notice that it is the normal time to be eating, not when I feel like I want to eat; if I waited till when I felt like eating I’d never eat! lol. Anyways, I have not felt hungry in like a week but when I notice it’s dinner time (for example) I eat dinner and then I keep eating, it’s like, I never felt hungry so I don’t know when to stop eating…weird huh? So I’ll sit and eat and eat and eat and when I get up I become aware of how sick I feel because I over ate, sigh, vicious cycle that.

On top of feeling gross from eating too much in one sitting I also feel way fat cause, well, hello? overeating always makes me feel fat, doesn’t it make you feel that way?

I can’t wait till I am back to normal and can understand what my body is trying to tell me! Until then I’ll use a clock to tell me when to eat and see if I can’t manage to eat a proper portion size and not go overboard – yeah right! lol.


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