Archive | 9:48 pm

Release The Anger

25 Jul

Stress and anger not only help our bodies hold on to what weight they have they also help our bodies to gain weight – how mean is that?? My solution to this is to release the stress and anger from my body – I know, easier said then done right? lol

My life right now is fairly anger free and stress free, I mean, there is always some sort of stress (about having money to pay bills or thinking about my upcoming agent hunt etc) but that’s life right? There is always something to worry about but I think how you deal with the stress and anger is how to keep it from affecting your weight loss. Normally I deal with stress by not dealing with it, lol, I’m good at avoidance and if that doesn’t work I go driving late at night, might seem weird but that always helps me sort things out in my head. With anger I have to do something, usually what I want to do is punch a wall (or some other object, shrug), I want violence when I am angry. Now, since I don’t want a police record for vandalism or violence I instead go hiking or do some other kind of physical activity to help release the anger, it really does help!

However, I have a confused anger that has been building in me since Saturday and I don’t know how to get rid of it. It is leaving me lethargic and not wanting the violence or action I normally crave when I am angry. What I want is to hide away but I can’t do that, I do have a life ya know 😉

Here is why I am confused and angry all at once: last week I kicked my own ass like you wouldn’t believe! I hiked multiple times, I went to boxerfit twice, I dragon boated, I ate properly, yes I ate some exercise points but not all and because I exercised so much I didn’t have to use my flex points – so great right? I did everything I am supposed to! I ate right, I exercised like crazy, I followed all the rules…guess what happened on the scale on saturday (and sunday! – I did a second weigh in hoping I imagined what I saw on the display on saturday) I gained 3 pounds!!!! GAINED!!!!! The  string of swear words I want to type here is crazy long but in an effort to not offend anyone I will refrain from writing them…instead I will say them out loud…

How the fuck did I gain 3 pounds? I mean, if I cheated on my food throughout the week or didn’t exercise or some combo of the two well sure, then it’d make sense I gained but not when I follow the rules! I shudder to think what would have happened if I had cheated, how much more I would have gained, ugh.

I know people always say muscle weighs more then fat, which is a bald faced lie. Does one pound of bricks weigh more then one pound of feathers? No! They both weigh one pound! It’s just that one pound of muscle takes up less space then one pound of fat so you can have more muscle fitting in the same sized space as a smaller amount of fat.

Anyways, my friend KL told me today (after I bitched about gaining 3 pounds) that I have most likely built muscle and that’s why I went up on the scale – to this I replied: BullShit!!! I don’t have muscle, I am a weak bodied individual who has a lot of excess fat on her body. My body shouldn’t be building muscle yet, it should be shedding fat. My squishy parts are no less squishy, my not as squishy parts are no more toned then before so where exactly is this supposed muscle forming?

So that is why I am angry, cause of the three pounds gained right before my filming day (literally right before! I film tomorrow!) and I am confused cause I followed all the rules for weight loss and they sooooooo didn’t work!

I don’t know what to do now, do I keep pushing my exercise like the past week? I know I need to keep up with the healthy eating but I feel like I should be doing something else, something different since apparently what I have been doing is not working. sigh. I have been stuck at this plateau for months and now instead of staying the same I am going up – just frickin great. arg.

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