Tag Archives: plateau

Insanity: Day 2

16 Jul

Alrighty, so day 2 of this program and guess who messed up…again?! Yeah, me, sigh. 😛

I started the day off fairly well, I had my first two meals of the day on schedule so that’s good. 🙂

I was done work at a weird time though, at 1pm, so my plan was go home, exercise, then eat Meal 3. It was either that or eat Meal 3 right when I got home then have to wait an hour or so to exercise and I knew if I did that odds were high I’d not want to exercise sooooo exercise first!

Today was my first real exercise session with this program since yesterday was the Fit Test. I thought I was doing fairly well but towards the end I sucked lol. It was a Plyometric Cardio Circuit workout, it is based on the interval system but reversed. Instead of doing lower intensity for 3 minutes then a burst of high intensity for 1 minute you do high intensity for 3 minutes then have a 30 second break, then repeat. The circuits were made up of about 4 or 5 different exercises, you do the first circuit of all 5 exercises, get a 30 second break, then repeat the circuit but even faster, get a 30 second break then repeat the circuit again going as fast as you possibly can go. You then get a quick break before moving on to the next circuit.

Lemme tell you, I was sweating more from this workout then from any home workout I have ever done!

I did have some problems in some of the circuits towards the end though. There were exercises where you are in the push-up position, you hold that plank and sorta jump/tuck in your legs, then jump them back out to full plank. Or, same position but you jump/tuck to the side, then jump back out. There were other exercises that had you in that plank position and I knew my legs and core could keep doing the leg motion part of the exercise buuuuut my arms couldn’t keep supporting me. The shoulders just weren’t strong enough and my arms starting folding. It was so annoying!

Another little issue I discovered is there was a lot of jumping in this routine and I live somewhere with super duper low ceilings. You do the math! lol I had to refrain from jumping as high as I could and not fully extend my arms above my head – even then I hit the ceiling with my hands quite a few times, oops! I’m contemplating taking a little table outside, putting the laptop on it and working out in the backyard but I dunno…I don’t care for exercising in front of people and even though it is the backyard it still seems too public for me lol

After I completed the cardio workout I made Meal 3 which was the Chicken Ranch Wrap (same as yesterday), while the chicken was cooking I made the Turkey Burger patties. I was supposed to have a turkey burger last night but it didn’t happen and for some reason I thought I was supposed to have it again this evening so I figured why not make it now while I had spare time? Totally makes sense to me…well, here is another oops! After making the patties, freezing two and sticking the other in the fridge I took a look at my meal plan for the day and uh yeah, wasn’t supposed to be eating a turkey burger today! lol I decided to keep it on my menu because well, I’d already made the patties and how long does ground lean turkey last in the fridge before it is unsafe to use? I dunno the answer to that question so I figured better safe than sorry! lol

I almost wanted a snack after eating the chicken wrap and before going to dragon boat practice, not because I was hungry but because I was worried I would get hungry…weird huh? I didn’t snack, obviously, since feeling all full and gross when paddling is soooo not my thing but I regretted it when on the boat because I was so freakin hungry! My stomach was full on growling and all I could think about was how hungry I was instead of thinking about my form. Not cool. I also had way less energy than normal and was really straining to be able to keep up. Erg.

I cooked the turkey burger when I got home and instead of having the green beans the menu book said to pair with it I had mixed veggies (because those are what I have in the freezer lol), I’m feeling a little hungry again but I am also exhausted and really need to sleep so definitely no more food for me today, the tummy will just have to wait!

So to recap, I was supposed to eat 5 meals and 1 snack today, that would have still had me under my calories for the day but not by much. Instead I ate 3 Meals and 0 snacks and the meals I ate were modified by me to utilize foods I already have. *rolls eyes* Oh, and I exercised twice! I’m thinking I’m breaking too many rules over here…

yup, that's me, I'm such a bad ass lol ;)

yup, that’s me, I’m such a bad ass lol 😉

 

Where’d The Time Go?

11 Dec

No, I am not dead, missing, working full time, quitting my blog, abducted by aliens or anything else you might have come up with in the time I have been gone from my blog lol. 😀

I am just a lazy schmuk who couldn’t think of a thing to write about so I didn’t write. shrug. Nobody wants to read a post about how I slept in, went to the gym, didn’t track my food or exercise points so have no idea how I did for the day and then hung out with friends in the evening, heck, it’s my life and I’m not particularly interested in it some days lol 😛

Everyday that nothing of interest happens and I don’t post I think “tomorrow, I will for sure post tomorrow” and then tomorrow rolls around and I don’t post and I think “tomorrow” again and then all of a sudden it’s been 2 weeks and I’ve written nothing and I’m almost afraid to log back in to wordpress cause what if the people who follow me quit following me and now my blog is (metaphorically speaking) taking up space in the closet of rejected blogs that I imagine is on the wordpress server somewhere gathering dust? Depressing.

Looks like my talent for a loooong run on sentence has not been hampered by my non-writing for the past two weeks though…gee, aren’t we all glad about that? 😉 lol

I’d love to be able to tell you that something amazing, momentous, fabulous, exciting, heck, even mildly funny happened in the past little while but it has not…life has entered, not a rut buuuut a little cycle of monotony and dare I say…boredom? Which even saying that isn’t right cause I’m not really bored, just not doing anything super post worthy. I guess this is what happens when you are unemployed, can’t afford to do anything and trying to stay in as much as possible to (1) keep the cat company and (2) save money. sigh.

I haven’t been tracking, I’ve been a renegade Weight Watcher mwahaha (that’s my evil laugh, aren’t I so bad? 😉 ). I haven’t weighed in for over a month either. Oh, and while I’m being all confessional my work out routine is sooo not dependable, some weeks I go 3 times or more, other weeks I’m lucky if I go once.

Why have I stopped following all the guidelines and rules and plans? Especially when I know they work? I’m not totally sure…I mean, I kinda know but I’m sure there is more going on then I am aware of. I find it takes the passage of time and the ability to look back on a period of my life that gives me the best insight in to figuring out what the heck was going on with me at that point. Too bad I can’t fast-forward, find out, then rewind back to here and have the knowledge lol. Time travel anyone?

I’m not eating properly, I know this, and yet I don’t track so that I can hold myself accountable and stop what I am doing with my diet. You might be thinking I’m over eating so much I’m embarassed and am fast approaching the Good Year Blimp size but you’d be wrong, I’m actually under eating…not good! In my head I know it’s not good, but, also in my head I think it’s ok. My head is screwy. lol. I shouldn’t joke, for some people this is a serious problem, I’m hoping for me it’s a temporary thing…

I don’t under eat everyday, for instance, today I over ate, great huh? If I am meeting up with friends for a meal I am eating around my daily points that day because I am ordering healthy when I go out and compensating for the restaurant food by being super duper strict the rest of the day. The exception to that would be this evening when I went to a Thai restaurant for a friends birthday dinner. I wanted to get the black cod, it sounded super healthy and yummy but was over $20 for the dish, I so can’t afford that, instead I ended up with the Pad Thai for $12, I love Pad Thai so this was not a sad swap taste-bud wise but no way in hell is that dish healthy *rolls eyes* so today I definitely over ate. erg.

But see, I under ate quite a bit for the past, oh, three or four days (and I exercised) so in my head I feel that things should somehow balance out…and yes, I know that is not how it works!

On days I under eat I don’t feel like I am being deprived so I don’t really notice that I’m not eating properly or enough food unless someone points it out…although lately, when going to bed I feel hungry so I suppose the lack of food is starting to make my stomach mad lol. I also get some perverse feeling of strength when I am hungry at night, like “look at me and my rockin willpower that I didn’t cave and eat more food” and when I am eating I am eating smaller portions and that weird perverse feeling of strength kicks in then too, like “look how awesome I am I’m not eating more then this small portion, I’m so strong when it comes to food”.  And don’t even get me started on what goes on in my head when I am exercising! *rolls eyes*

I know part of why I am not eating as much is because I so desperately wanted to be at my goal weight when I went home for Christmas, but it’s not happening. 😦 I was back in AB last summer and people were all “you look so great!” an such, which was awesome to hear but when I look in the mirror I don’t see how much I have lost, I see how much I have left to lose. I see the flaws, the flab, the non toned body, the areas I am still ashamed of, I see all of the fat. I thought by now I’d be there, I thought I’d be maintaining and not still trying to lose, I thought I’d be able to go home and show off how I look and say “hey! look! I actually did it! I got to my goal weight!” instead I will be going back looking the same as when I was there in the summer. Same clothing size, heck same clothes, same points per day allowed for food, same comment about how I’m still working to get to my goal weight and am hoping to be there soon (all said in a falsly cheerful tone to every single person I hang with cause they all ask), same me.  Aren’t I supposed to be the super improved skinny version of me by now?

I know that not eating messes up my metabolism, I know it makes it harder to lose weight. I know that compensating for this by pushing myself extra hard in the gym is not the right approach. I also know that this is what I have been doing the past couple weeks. I started the under eating cause I was sick, once I got better I kept it up and added exercise to push my body into losing faster. It’s not working. I know it’s not working cause my clothes still all fit the same and I look the same and I know that I shouldn’t of expected some great change to happen in a measly two weeks but I’m so sick of looking like this, sick of this plateau, sick of people asking me how much farther till I reach my goal and my having the same answer as last time they asked. Sick of thinking just this many more fucken pounds and I will be happy. As if reaching a certain number on the scale guarantees personal happiness? I also know that is not right.

It would appear what I know and what I deep down believe are two very different things and I don’t know how to get them to reconcile in my head. As long as I was losing weight I was able to follow the Weight Watcher plan because it was working and I could see a difference so that change of number on the scale helped me to not revert back to bad weight loss habits. Even before the move, when I was still following Weight Watcher’s properly I had been plateaued for such a long time I was massively discouraged. That plateau, combined with other things, has gotten me to a point where subconsciously I seem to be saying “screw the healthy way, take the extreme way cause at least you know in the end that’ll work whereas Weight Watcher’s has failed you”. But Weight Watcher’s didn’t fail me, I failed the program by not being able to get past the plateau, regardless of who failed who I am still stuck at this current weight and going home in 8 days looking like this.

And wow, didn’t this post get dark fast? *rolls eyes*

Release The Anger

25 Jul

Stress and anger not only help our bodies hold on to what weight they have they also help our bodies to gain weight – how mean is that?? My solution to this is to release the stress and anger from my body – I know, easier said then done right? lol

My life right now is fairly anger free and stress free, I mean, there is always some sort of stress (about having money to pay bills or thinking about my upcoming agent hunt etc) but that’s life right? There is always something to worry about but I think how you deal with the stress and anger is how to keep it from affecting your weight loss. Normally I deal with stress by not dealing with it, lol, I’m good at avoidance and if that doesn’t work I go driving late at night, might seem weird but that always helps me sort things out in my head. With anger I have to do something, usually what I want to do is punch a wall (or some other object, shrug), I want violence when I am angry. Now, since I don’t want a police record for vandalism or violence I instead go hiking or do some other kind of physical activity to help release the anger, it really does help!

However, I have a confused anger that has been building in me since Saturday and I don’t know how to get rid of it. It is leaving me lethargic and not wanting the violence or action I normally crave when I am angry. What I want is to hide away but I can’t do that, I do have a life ya know 😉

Here is why I am confused and angry all at once: last week I kicked my own ass like you wouldn’t believe! I hiked multiple times, I went to boxerfit twice, I dragon boated, I ate properly, yes I ate some exercise points but not all and because I exercised so much I didn’t have to use my flex points – so great right? I did everything I am supposed to! I ate right, I exercised like crazy, I followed all the rules…guess what happened on the scale on saturday (and sunday! – I did a second weigh in hoping I imagined what I saw on the display on saturday) I gained 3 pounds!!!! GAINED!!!!! The  string of swear words I want to type here is crazy long but in an effort to not offend anyone I will refrain from writing them…instead I will say them out loud…

How the fuck did I gain 3 pounds? I mean, if I cheated on my food throughout the week or didn’t exercise or some combo of the two well sure, then it’d make sense I gained but not when I follow the rules! I shudder to think what would have happened if I had cheated, how much more I would have gained, ugh.

I know people always say muscle weighs more then fat, which is a bald faced lie. Does one pound of bricks weigh more then one pound of feathers? No! They both weigh one pound! It’s just that one pound of muscle takes up less space then one pound of fat so you can have more muscle fitting in the same sized space as a smaller amount of fat.

Anyways, my friend KL told me today (after I bitched about gaining 3 pounds) that I have most likely built muscle and that’s why I went up on the scale – to this I replied: BullShit!!! I don’t have muscle, I am a weak bodied individual who has a lot of excess fat on her body. My body shouldn’t be building muscle yet, it should be shedding fat. My squishy parts are no less squishy, my not as squishy parts are no more toned then before so where exactly is this supposed muscle forming?

So that is why I am angry, cause of the three pounds gained right before my filming day (literally right before! I film tomorrow!) and I am confused cause I followed all the rules for weight loss and they sooooooo didn’t work!

I don’t know what to do now, do I keep pushing my exercise like the past week? I know I need to keep up with the healthy eating but I feel like I should be doing something else, something different since apparently what I have been doing is not working. sigh. I have been stuck at this plateau for months and now instead of staying the same I am going up – just frickin great. arg.

Are you freakin kidding me?!?!?! Arghh!!

12 Sep

I am so pissed off right now, GRRRRRR!!!!!!! I was even madder earlier but decided a post full of swears and threats from me to me would not be entertaining to read so I waited till now, when I am marginally calmer…still grrr-ing tho, grr! 😛

Why am I mad you wonder? Well, let me just spit it out…I gained weight! Gained? GAINED!!!!!!! Arrggghhhh! After not cheating all week and adding in exercise what did I do? I gained, that’s right, my plateau is at week frickin four, 4!!!! This sucks. 😦

It’s enough to make a girl wanna quit and man am I tempted but I don’t have a back up plan, it’s not like I decided if Weight Watchers fails me I will go to Jenny Craig or Herbal Magic or some other program…this is it, all I got and doesn’t that leave me screwed? sigh.

Mom thinks I should eat more, she says now that I am exercising I have to eat more of my exercise points and some of my flex points cause my body is freakin out thinking it’s not gonna get enough food now that it is more active…I am not certain I believe this. I might give it some credibility except I have been plateaued for so long, no way am I putting even more food in to me when all my body is doing is staying the same or gaining, screw that!

I am not sure what I am going to do…I can’t quit the program cause if I do I will just go back to eating how I used to which means all the pounds I did manage to lose will just jump back on to my body but following the program doesn’t seem to be doing me any good these past four weeks…four weeks! That’s ridiculous! I am never gonna get thin at this rate, sigh.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 tbls raspberry jam = 1 point

1 timbit = 2 points

1/2 Fiesta Salad = 2.5 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp marg for the corn = 1 point

2 Hershey Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1 cup 1% milk = 2 points

1 pckg weight watchers Cheddar Twists = 2 points

So there we are, at my 22 points for the day not that it seems to be doing me any good. blarg. I also originally had a cup of soup with the salad and corn for dinner but it was so gross I only had like 3 spoonfuls of it and had to throw it out, ugh. It was Campbell’s Smoky Bacon Clam Chowder soup, I had never seen that flavour before and thought it sounded kinda good…man was I wrong! I really like soup and thought I would try it now in preperation for winter when thick creamy soups are a nice thing to have on a chilly evening but that is one soup that didn’t make the list. Ah well, gotta try new things to find out if you will like them or not. shrug.

Oh, and it seems all this time I was miscalculating the points for the Fiesta salad, oops! The nutritional info says the salad is 2 points for 100 grams and there are 4 servings in the bag, I thought this meant there are 400 grams in the bag at 2 points per serving, my math calculated the entire bag to 8 points and half a bag at 4 points…the math made sense to me. Well, I took a closer look at the bag and there is only like 326 grams in the bag…so 3 and a bit servings…hmm, who decided to do that? Eesh.  This means the entire bag isn’t even 6.5 points, it’s 6 and some random small number of points…uh, crap! How am I gonna calculate that? I have decided to  calculate the entire bag at 6 points and half a bag as 3 points…I figure guesstimating down is ok cause I don’t use all the toppings that come in the bag. There are two dressings provided and I only use one so that’s gotta take some points away, right?

So there we have it, I am still plateaued, no, not even plateaued since that implies I am staying the same, instead I am getting fatter…just frickin great! Some shrinking woman I am! Hopefully tomorrow I am over being so pissed off and my next post is not quite such a downer but for now, this is all I got…sigh…

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