Archive | 11:28 pm

Weight Ranges and I

17 Oct

Most everyone who has a weight loss blog has a desired weight they want to get to. I think most people in general have a desired weight or weight range they want to be at. Some look at the weight range as a far off dream they can never achieve, others use it to motivate themselves to make healthy choices throughout the day.

That number, or range, taunts us at times, it seems to hover in the distance never getting any closer. Mean huh?

I have never been good at gauging a person’s weight, that whole “guess my weight” game? I suck at it! Combine that with not really knowing what an appropriate weight is supposed to be and well, I start to get lost when it comes to weight ranges. I remember as a kid in grade 5, we had an assignment where we had to create a person, draw them, write a bio for them, the whole bit – just as if they were real and you were researching them. I don’t remember why we had to do this but the why isn’t really part of my point right now. lol. I created a lady, I don’t remember what age I made her, probably in the 20’s cause I thought that was the perfect age to be at. 😛 I remember I made her tall-ish and thin. Now, I totally randomly chose height and weight numbers because I didn’t really grasp how tall or fat any of the numbers I could choose from would make a person, shrug. What I do remember is my sister, when she saw the weight I made my person exclaiming over how thin I made her – apparently she was so thin she’d have been severely underweight, oops!

I tweaked her numbers until my sister said they were more realistic and left it at that. But lately, I thought of the woman I created and realized I wouldn’t do any better at giving her a good height/weight ratio today then I did back in grade 5.

So many things affect how we view the world, view others, view ourselves. It would be great if the entire world was just chock full of healthy people, if we were all somehow healthy – but who can even say what healthy is? There are so many different ways to judge a person’s health, and so many different definitions of what is healthy. Some people argue being overweight is a lifestyle choice and you are just as healthy being obese as you are being thin – I am not making this up! I watched a documentary about it. Others say you can measure a healthy body using BMI, weight, measurements etc. Some say just eye ball it, if you look good then you’re fine. Or go by how you feel – if you feel healthy then you are. So how do you know if you are healthy when there are so many ways to “measure” health, and many of those way contradict each other.

Years ago, when I still lived in AB and had a family doctor, she gave me a very stern lecture about how I was fat and needed to lose weight. She made it sound like it was the easiest thing in the world to do and she even seemed honestly confused that I wasn’t sure how to get rid of the fat I had accumulated. Please keep in mind this lady is one of those so-skinny-she’s-a-twig people and even when she was pregnant was super tiny and lost all the weight super fast. She said she “experimented” with many different types of diets so she could speak knowledgably about them to her patients – I applaud this, and yet, was annoyed by this. How could this woman, this incredibly thin woman, tell me after she’s tried the South Beach Diet, and Atkins and a whole bunch of other eating plans which one was best when she doesn’t have an ounce of body fat on her and never has? She doesn’t really know what it is going to take for me to lose the weight, she just has theories.

One thing she did give me though, was information. She let me know, for my height and gender what weight range I should be at. In case you are wondering, I am 5’8″ and female, so I was supposed to be between 130-135lbs. All these years later I am using those numbers as my goal, thinking nothing has changed and that information is still accurate. Well, I double checked that today and found times have a-changed and that weight range isn’t exactly what I should be aiming for. According to Weight Watcher’s, for my height I should be looking at a range of 132-164lbs. The way larger range they say I am ok to be using made me wonder what other numbers I might find out there. So I went googling…

On www.divine.ca the range I got was 125-144lbs. On www.healthcentral.com my range is 144-158.4lbs. I could keep going on with different websites but suffice to say, they all give a broader range then my doctor ever did and all the ranges are different. Most of them overlap with part of their numbers but still…none of them match. How is it so hard to find out what your ideal weight range should be?

What makes it even harder is I am in the entertainment business, which means a “normal” weight is considered a “larger” weight in my world. I have met actresses who in real life are in such good shape, they are toned, they are fit, they are thin, they are what many aspire to be. And yet, they have network officials telling them daily to lose weight because they look too fat on their tv show. It’s sad, not surprising, but sad. The camera really does add weight to your frame, and so these women, who look amazing in real life look a tad larger on screen then what we as viewers are used to and what the network officials are happy with.

I was checking out a website of an actress I don’t know because I was thinking of getting a website from the same company and they said to view hers to get an idea of what mine would look like – format, layout etc. I was checking out the various pages on her site and saw her stats, she is an inch taller then me and lower in weight then the range I had been aiming for. So, she’s 5’9″ and was 122lbs. This made me want to hit my head against a wall.

Here I am at 5’8″ struggling to get to 130-135lbs and she’s even lighter then me while being taller then me. Which means, even if I was at 130lbs, if I stood next to her, I’d look large. Crap.

Losing weight is hard enough without the added pressure of your work industry hovering over you like a rainy cloud. I try to ignore the knowledge that for an actress I am quite fat, and therefore way limited in the roles I can audition for. Sure, I have lost weight, and opened up more possibilities for me career wise, and yes I have my agent now which will help, but really, to have the best chance possible I have to get down in weight, and clothing size, and measurements, in everything…and not just to the weight range I’ve had in my head this entire time but to at least 5-10lbs below it…which means my journey just got ten pounds longer, sigh.

Goodbye U.S. (part 2)

17 Oct

So sure, it’s only been minutes since I finished the last post but since it’s now past midnight it is technically the “tomorrow” I spoke about in the last sentence of the previous post so I am writing…it is my blog ya know, I’m pretty sure that means I get to make up the rules lol 😉

Let’s see, I left off with the three of us gorging ourselves at Red Lobster, yum. 😀

I took a cooler with me with a freezer pack inside to store the yogurt I was planning to buy so I put our leftovers in there and off we went to the outlet mall. I’ve been to that mall before, with KL actually, but KS hadn’t been so we wandered most of it. Banana Republic was a real wallet killer for the other two, both found multiple clothing items they wanted. I tried some stuff on for fun but none of it fit….I found this cute dress, empire waist and flowy which is usually a win for me cause that style hides a lot of my trouble areas. Well, the bodice part is fitted and made of a non-stretchy material, I couldn’t get the dress up over my hips and when I tried to put it on over my head I couldn’t get it to go past my breasts…barriers at both ends of my body! lol. 😛 Ah well, I couldn’t have afforded it anyways, and where would I wear a dress? It’s winter! *rolls eyes*

I was mostly looking for presents for people for Christmas, I found none, sigh. I was sorta hoping to find a new pair of runners for working out as mine are not very good anymore but the prices weren’t cheap enough to be worth the expense so I left them all behind…so sad, leaving shoes behind, I think there’s a Girl Rule about that and I think I broke it…oops. 😛

We didn’t stay at the mall all that long, KS spent as much as she was willing to spend in the first store so she was ready to leave right after that and KL kept looking then talking herself out of buying stuff lol. Sorry to say we didn’t help the American economy all that much…although, we did give the waitress at Red Lobster a kick ass awesome tip so at least she benefited from us being there lol.

After the mall we went to Wal-Mart for my yogurt splurge! 😀 I was so excited and so nervous – and yes, I am aware of how pathetic that is. I was all excited to finally get this yogurt I’ve been wanting to try for so long but so nervous they might not have it *cringe*

Turns out I had nothing to fear, the Yoplait yogurt section was huuuuuuge! And oh so much of it was the Yoplait Light, wOOt! 😀

Thanks to a link left as a comment on one of my posts I was able to scope out the flavours last night so I already knew what I was looking for. I found even more flavours then was on the site but it turned out that I had veered into the non-light section by accident so I was looking at flavours I wasn’t going to be buying (like Pina Colada). Luckily I realized before getting to the till so the 2 non-light ones I grabbed by accident were replaced by light yogurts.

My Tower of Yoplait Light Yogurt!

I bought ten in total, each a different flavour, and none of them flavours I could get here in a different brand of yogurt (so no mixed berries etc).

The flavours I got are: Cherry Cobbler, Boston Cream Pie, Key Lime Pie, Apple Turnover, Blueberry Pie, Red Velvet Cake, Strawberry Short Cake, Lemon Meringue, Cinnamon Roll and Lemon Cream Pie. phew, just re-reading that is fun, imagine the fun of eating them! *excited giggles*

Walking through the food section of that Wal-Mart was crazy! We didn’t even go up and down the aisles so it was just what we were seeing as we aimed towards the yogurt but wow, lots of stuff we don’t have. I am jealous you have Special K potato chips, and for cheap! I couldn’t justify buying them but don’t think I didn’t stick a box in my cart and push it around for a while in the hopes I could convince myself lol. There was junk food everywhere! The end of each aisle we passed was strictly unhealthy food…I guess all the healthy stuff is in the aisles and they put the unhealthy at the end…which could be smart cause that means you could shop the aisles and kinda pretend the ends don’t exist so you don’t buy any junk. That’s probably not how it works though huh?

Of course it doesn’t help that it’s leading up to halloween so there was lots of extra candy etc all around…we saw this huge container of cheese balls…for halloween, kinda strange. Oh, and these cookies with marshmallows attached somehow and shaped to look like spooky cats, also kinda strange. There was lots of candy and junk food I wish I’d written down the names of cause I wanted to know what it was but didn’t want to pick it up in case I didn’t have the willpower to put it back lol. One thing I couldn’t resist was this big box of Junior Mints for only $1! Only a dollar?!?! Sweeeeet! Oh, fyi, those are like my all time fave chocolate candy type thing and they are kinda expensive here so I don’t buy them all too often and when I do buy them I get the super small box. So this, a big box for only a buck, there was no thought process, there was just my hand reaching out for a box lol. Bad I know…I’ll probably regret it tomorrow…but not tonight! 😛

So yeah, Wal-Mart was like a wonderland for bad-for-me-foods but I was firm and stuck to the yogurts and er, that one box of Junior Mints *whistles an innocent tune*

After that we got some gas (oh my god so much cheaper there, even when you take in to account gallons vs litres! It was a little over $20 for half a tank in my suv, here that’d cost me about $35!) and we headed back to our side of the border.

The Canadian border guard was a lady and asked how long we were in the states, I said approx 12 hours, she asked why we went, I said to eat at Red Lobster. She gave us all this up and down look and said “you were at Red Lobster for 12 hours??” So of course I said no, after eating we hit up the outlet mall blah blah blah. We always get way more questions going back home then leaving…firearms, tobacco, drugs, duty free shopping, how much did we spend, anybody give us gifts, and on and on…I mean seriously, if I was bringing drugs or firearms back do they really think I’d say yes when they ask? *rolls eyes*

I am happy to report my yogurt stayed nice and cold (I put it in the cooler bag) so I am not concerned it will not be safe to eat and I can’t wait till I have an appetite again cause the first thing I’m gonna eat is one of those. I am going to eat them by randomly plucking one from the group instead of carefully choosing, so it’ll be a little surprise each time. 🙂 Hey, let me get my jollies where I can alright? 😛 lol

No more food binges for me though, that was plenty of damage! I know there is no saving this week but I will be careful for the rest of it anyways and hopefully my body can recover from the damage I inflicted in a couple weeks or so…I wish it luck! lol.

Oh! Sidenote, I got hit on in the yogurt section of Wal-Mart…guy offered to buy me the “real thing” when I was holding the Pina Colada yogurt…I said thanks but no…random!

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