Archive | November, 2011

Things I Don’t Even Think About Anymore

22 Nov

I was texting with a friend today who lives in AB, she’s one of my closest friends and it sucks that we live far apart now…yeah yeah, I know, it’s my fault since I’m the one that moved but whatever. So, NH is someone who matters so so so much to me but she is driving me abso-frickin-lutely nuts in one aspect of life and there is nothing I can do about it, arg!

NH is quite large, she’s always been a bit bigger, nothing horrible but over the past couple years she’s gone from being a bit bigger to being so large that I fear for her health. She’s about half a year older then me so she’s in her early 30’s and all I think when I see her is she’s gonna be a statistic for young(-ish) women who die early from obesity related medical problems. I hate it! I want to shake her and make her take better care of herself, I want to breath down her neck 24/7 and insist she make better food and activity choices, I want to be rich so I can hire a platoon of dieticians and trainers and life coaches and force her to get healthier. I don’t care about her size for any reason except for how it affects her health and I care about her health because I am selfish, she is my friend and I want her around for a long long time but the rate she’s going I’ll lose her earlier then needed and then I’ll have to bring her back to life so I can smack her around and well, that’ll just be messy…and weird…

She’s large enough that her doctor prescribed her some weight loss pills that are freakin hard to get without her even asking for them, the doctor saw she needed to lose weight and seemed to think putting her on medication to help jump start the process was the way to go. I could have told her to save the ink with which she wrote the prescription cause I know NH, I know she won’t take those pills and I was right, sadly. She says she kept forgetting or not getting around to it, she also is a big user of the phrase “I’ll start on Monday”, the amount of times she told me she was gonna start taking those pills the following Monday is ridiculous…and she never took any of them. I don’t judge her for not taking the pills, a lot of people are uncomfie with diet pills, but she didn’t take them because she doesn’t want to face her weight or that she should lose some of it, she is really good at just ignoring what she doesn’t like…and really, I can’t judge her for that either cause I am the same way lol

I had a little tiny light of hope inside me that if I lost enough weight on Weight Watchers she’d see the difference when I visit, and hear me speak about how easy the program is and she’d realize she could do it too. I guess I was hoping I’d lead by example…stupid. No matter how many times I’ve visited, how many times she’s seen me getting smaller, how many times I talk about my healthier eating and portion control, how many times I suggest we do active things when I am visiting,  none of it matters, she just keeps going on the path she is on.

So, back to today when we were texting, I was on a bus and I made a comment about how some guy on there had KFC and it smelled oh so good and oh well it’s too bad I don’t eat fast food anymore. Not that I was a huge KFC fan back before my Weight Watchers days, it’s more like I knew back then I had the option whereas now I don’t consider them an option no matter what the circumstance, they are just gone from my list-of-places-to-get-food-from-list that is in my head. Her comment was that I had good willpower lol. I responded saying somedays it was hard but the only fast food I allow myself is Subway and it’s always a 6″, always on the 9 grain bread and always from the low cal sub options (usually the turkey, loaded with veggies, topped with mustard and half the normal amount of the light mayo), I stressed the subs are always so tasty and I’d rather eat that then something from McD’s etc that will leave me feeling ick even though I really miss McD’s, *big epic sigh*

That got me thinking though, about how rules I created for myself when I was starting Weight Watchers have become so ingrained I don’t even think about them anymore. I used to have to work really hard to avoid the fast food places, especially McD’s – they are a huuuuge weakness of mine. But over time, I stopped having to work at it, I just don’t go to those places anymore. If I am out and get hungry and can’t make it back home so I can make my own meal I don’t think “oh, guess I’ll pick up a burger!” I either starve till I get home, buy a bottle of water, get gum or go to Subway. I also got in to a habit of packing little snacks in my purse and a bottle of water if I am going to be out for longer then a couple hours as a just-in-case…that has saved me so many times! lol But see, there is another rule, the bring-food-with-me rule that I don’t even think about anymore, I just do it.

Some other rules I automatically follow are: get off the bus early and walk a bit extra, have half my dinner plate be veggies, use the small plate not the big plate for my meals, drink more water then anything else (sometimes I swap out tea for this but come on, tea is water…with flavour! lol), when I eat out get them to automatically box up half the meal before it’s even brought to me, put salad dressings etc on the side and dip my fork in, order from the healthy section of the menu, eat fish before chicken and chicken before beef and beef before pork and veggies before all of those, have a little nibble everyday of something that tempts me so I don’t feel deprived (I buy Weight Watchers 1 point little chocolate bite sized thingys – they are like baby peppermint patties and baby bounty bars, omg so yum!)

I made these rules so I wouldn’t screw up when I was first starting out on my weight loss journey, now I don’t consider them rules, just ways of being, ways of living, shrug. My friends that I hang out with all the time know I will sit with them if they want to grab a bite to eat somewhere unhealthy but I won’t eat there. I’m perfectly happy to sit and chill while they chow down on some McD’s or Burger King or whatever just as long as they are ok with stopping at Subway afterwards so I can grab a bite. This works for us, and hasn’t caused an issue yet, which is nice. 🙂

I wonder, what rules I live by now that in a years time I will no longer consider rules but ways of living…kinda makes me want to come up with some snazzy new rules just to see how long they last lol. 😛

Those Sooooo Weren’t Healthy

13 Nov

I had the most oddly delish pancakes today, Mmm!Mmm!Mmm! 😀

I went for brunch and got Pear and Coconut Pancakes – pear and coconut infused pancakes, topped with sauteed pears, a lime mascarpone cream and drizzled with house made vanilla syrup. There were 4 nice an thick pancakes on the plate when it was served – can anyone say “goodbye flex points and daily points!” oh, don’t forget to wave madly as the points go bye-bye lol. 😉

After eating 2 of them nice n slow so I could savour them I was stuffed, hmm, that should be Stuffed with a capital S cause man I was sooooooo stuffed. After two pancakes! Crazed! I was grateful though cause not like those suckers are good for me in any way. lol. I ate the remaining 2 later in the evening for dinner and that was my entire food allotment for the day…not including a hot chocolate (so shoot me, it was chilly out!), a cup of tea, some diet coke and now some water…least I got some fluids in there…right?

I just did a points check on the pancakes and frankly, I think I was better off not knowing – what the hell does the restaurant put in those things? OMG. The fiber is 5, so yah! The calories are 1170, so holy F! And the Fat is 56, kill me, *groan*. That is a whopping 27 points, 27! It’s like I can feel my arteries clogging up a little bit more with each passing minute and my ass getting wider the longer I sit here and type. *double groan*

How do people go to brunch every week and not get obese? ugh.

We did go for a walk after brunch, we were both full and wanted to walk it off a bit, it was a very slow walk, we didn’t go all that far and we stopped and just watched the boats on the water and the moutains in the distance for a good chunk of it…so really, I guess we didn’t walk so much as meandered then paused then meandered to the little shop we got our hot chocolate from lol. Does meandering count in the battle to burn off the amazingly high amount of calories just eaten? I feel it should but I’m pretty certain that is wishful thinking lol. 😉

I had intended to exercise in the afternoon but that didn’t happen, sigh, so I’m for sure gonna hafta do something tomorrow to make up for this disaster. *rolls eyes* I hate make-up-for-disaster-food-days exercise routines, they are always harder, double sigh.

I haven’t really started tracking yet even though my life is getting a little bit more settled since the move…the oven still doesn’t work, huh, just remembered that, I’ll hafta call the building manager tomorrow…but despite the slightly more settled aspect to my life I am still not tracking, still not exercising (except for boxing twice a week – and only once last week cause of the holiday) and still not eating properly…I know this even though I am not tracking cause I am at least sorta trying to track in my head and everyday I know I am not doing a very good job food wise. blarg.

I think tomorrow will have to be a fresh start, I’ll start tracking again, start making healthier food choices, start exercising in some manner everyday…just start doing all the things I know I am supposed to be doing but stopped cause of the move.

So, since tomorrow is a fresh start I think I will no longer regret those yummy pancakes, they were unknowingly my last hurrah before getting down to the serious business of making myself thinner before I go home for Christmas! Only 36 more days…crap! Only 36 more days??? I didn’t realize it was so close! This really is crunch time! lol 😉

Never Ending Books

7 Nov

I am a reader – I blame this on my parents. I also blame my freakishly good manners, my willingness to try pretty much any new food and activity and my love of tea on them but those are beside the point. lol. 😉

I grew up in a household where it was common to hear the sentence “go and play” or even the almost unheard of today “go outside and play”…yup, that is right, I was not raised by the tv or by video games or by computers, I was raised by my parents and the automatic assumption I had a brain and imagination and could therefore entertain myself for hours on end. It was a good system. 🙂  I have so many fun memories of me playing with other kids, me playing with my toys by myself, just of me playing and really, isn’t that what childhood is supposed to be about?

Not all of my childhood was playing, obviously, I mean I did have to go to school, and do chores and be a brat lol. But something else my parents did for me that I’m not sure is being done for children quite as often anymore is instill in me a love for reading. I got books as presents, my parents would read to me all the time, we went to the library often, heck, in the summers I joined the kids reading club where you were challenged to read certain amounts of books from different genres and you earned stamps in a little booklet to show when you reached certain checkpoints in the challenge. That love of reading has intensified the older I get and I realized when unpacking and setting up my bookshelves that I am a book hog. Yup, that’s right, I own a freakish amount of books considering the amount of space I have to store them.

I am a firm believer in re-reading a book, after all, if a book is good than it is good enough to be re-read and with some books the more you read them the more you get from them. Like Memoirs of a Geisha (which I read before it was made popular via the movie thank you very much 😉 ) I swear, everytime I re-read that book I notice some new detail, I enjoy even more the poetry that is used to create the story, it’s a beautifully written book and so many images are invoked in my brain while I read it. I can see so clearly in my head visions that match what I am reading (there goes that imagination again) that it’s like watching a movie of the book without all the missing parts and added scenes you get in actual movie adaptations.

This wonderous love of reading, the enjoyment I get from a story…this I blame on my parents…and if you follow my logic here that means I can also blame them for the freakish amount of books I now own and the fact that everytime I finish unpacking a box with books in it and finally figure out a way to fit them on my bookshelf and am so happy I am done with that section of my new apartment set-up I manage to find yet another box full of books! You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve opened up a box over the past couple days and sworn in a manner befitting a sailor (or perhaps pirate?) because I’ve found even more books!

I can’t be mad at the books though, at those wonderful pages filled with all those interesting characters that provide me with some mixture of entertainment, education, suspense, horror, joy, wonder and more. So, instead, I will blame the parents…and perhaps my inability to not buy what I am always sure will be a good book! 😉

On the Weight Watcher’s front I have essentially stopped tracking. 😦 Not on purpose, exactly, more out of sheer frustration. My kitchen is still not set up, sigh, my roomie finally moved her stuff in this past Saturday but then left immediately so we did no set up. She came back today but only worked on her room. She says she is coming back tomorrow but we shall see…In case you’re wondering why I don’t just set it up myself it’s cause she assured me she has just as much kitchen stuff as I do so we have to go through both of our kitchen inventories to see what we should use of whose and what should be packed away and put in storage cause there isn’t room in the kitchen. There is no point is me setting up the kitchen with all my stuff just to have to take it all out of the cupboards again, shrug.

As a result, this means my kitchen scale is still packed so I can’t weigh my food (driving me nuuuuuts!), most of my measuring items (spoons, jugs etc) are also packed, I have a couple out cause I found them randomly stuffed in the box with my plates when I unpacked those but not a full set so sometimes I can measure sometimes I can’t…and the counters are so cluttered that I feel as if I can barely move in there.

Oh, and the stove still doesn’t work so I can’t even cook properly lol. I’m existing off of frozen dinners, grilled cheese sandwiches and crackers mostly…oh! and cereal! Yum huh?

One other reason I am not tracking is because I am fairly certain I am undereating everyday, sigh, not on purpose just by happenstance. shrug. When I tally in my head at the end of the day what I ate it’s usually rather pathetic, breakfast is generally two pieces of weetabix with unmeasured milk (the horrors!), my next meal will be a frozen dinner (healthy ones tho, so those steamer things or lean cuisine), and if I get hungry later on a grilled cheese sandwich or some yogurt – so somewhere around 14 points or so per day when I am supposed to be eating 20…plus the physical exertion of moving furniture, setting up furniture, unpacking etc.

I don’t know how this will affect my weight loss, it might falsly bring my weight down because I have less food in my system or it might make it bounce higher cause my body might be freaking out and holding on to it’s fat thinking it’s being starved…I doubt the starved thing cause when I feel hungry I eat so I’m not ignoring my body’s signals to get food, I’m just not eating as healthily as I did before the move…hopefully my body understands and forgives me for this – sooner rather than later! lol 😉

Moving Is Making Me Fat(er)!

3 Nov

O.M.G. Moving has royally screwed up my eating and exercising, to the point that the other day I had to lay down and have a bit of a nap cause my body felt ill from all the crap I’d been eating and lack of exercise and proper hydration.

I didn’t move far, just another section of the city I was already in but you’d think I’d move to the other side of the world for all the weirdness this move has had. *rolls eyes* Let’s start at the beginning shall we?

I rented a one tonne truck that I was going to drive myself and had some totally awesome friends there to help me load and unload all my crap. However, one of the people who was supposed to help I requested not come (due to some personal issues that would take up waaaaay too much space here, short version is he’s a jackass who is mean to everybody and I wasn’t willing to expose my other friends to him…and no he’s not my friend, he’s the bf of one of my close friends) so I had two other friends who were coming instead of him. (They are so sweet, I told them what the jackass had said to me a previous evening and that I was super upset by it and they immediately said they’d help me move so I wouldn’t need the jackass.) So anyways, I was still having my wonderful insomnia, ugh, and the night before the move couldn’t get to sleep, which was probably for the best cause I still had to finish packing, yup, I’m that girl! lol. My mother would have been horrified at the state of my apartment so close to moving day 😛

I forced myself to lay down for 2 hours and try to get some rest before I had to get up and showered etc before heading out to pick up the truck. Can I say, starting my crazed early morning experiencing abject terror cause of having to drive a huge ass moving truck is not something I want to do again soon. *shudder* I got back to my place and started moving little things while waiting for my friends to show, they were all supposed to be there at 9am but only one was on time lol, the rest trickled in but that’s ok, they were all there by 9:30am. What I didn’t realize is there would be so many people who thought they knew the best way to load a truck…HW has truck loading experience and knows the best way to load everything, IN has helped oh so many people move and knows the best way to load a truck, my landlord came out and he drives trucks for a living so he knows for sure the best way to pack everything in there *rolls eyes* Too many cooks in the kitchen! At one point all us girls just stood there and watched as all three guys were in the truck ordering each other on the best way to stack boxes. Men – too funny. lol. 😛

While the sitch was entertaining it was also stressful cause I had the truck for a very limited time and if I was late then I had to pay an additional $150 and I sooooo don’t have that kind of money! eek! Oh, and I was also running on one cup of tea and that was it, I didn’t have time to eat anything so I was kinda hungry. I managed to grab a granola bar that I saw sitting in the top of a bag as it was being loaded in to the truck around 10am or so…I was up at 6am so my tummy was not all that impressed with what I finally gave it lol.

Anyways, we got the truck to the new place and started unloading, luckily I am on the main floor and at the front of the building so for taking stuff into the new place we set a ladder in front of the balcony and had one person on the balcony and other people passing stuff up to them, made it go a lot faster.

Unfortunately, the painter who was supposed to be done on the Friday was not done so we were moving my stuff in while he was painting, awesome huh? We couldn’t let anything touch any walls so stuff was stacked horribly in the middle of any room we were able to get in to past his painting gear…all my careful labelling of what room each box was supposed to go in wasted, sigh.

We were running behind schedule so my epically awesome friends unloaded everything super fast to the yard in front of the building and said they’d take everything else in and for me to take back the truck so I am not late – how great are they?  😀 I was late getting the truck back but I used the lighting up of a warning light on the dash as my excuse, I pulled the scared innocent female routine and told them the light scared me so I drove slower cause *tilts head*big liquid eyes* “isn’t that what you are supposed to do?” Hey! Don’t judge! I will do what I need to! lol. 😉 fyi…it worked. 😀 Oh! sidenote, I didn’t damage, crash, hit, scratch or do anything else bad to the truck – I got me some mad truck driving skills! lol

After that I went to the old place to clean it but was so so so hungry I just had to get something to eat. I would have gotten Subway except I’d had them for dinner the night before and also there is this fish n chip shop that I love and never go to cause hello? battered and deep fried fish? yeah, so not healthy, sigh. But I figured I was gonna be living so far from it from now on I’d never go back, sadness, so one last time wouldn’t kill me. I got a two piece cod and chip meal, YUM!!! 😀

The plan was to clean the entire place then go back to the new place to dig out my halloween costume and go par-tay…my plans don’t often work out though and this was no exception. 😛 The vacuum stopped working cause the bag was full but all the replacement bags were at the new place, it was taking way longer then expected to get everything cleaned and frankly, I was tired so moving slower then normal. When the vacuum stopped working I used it as an excuse to leave for the day, go to the new place and ran in to the painter who was still painting! He said he was gonna leave at 5pm and finish tomorrow morning but then decided to stay until he was done that evening and I made a joke about how if he’d come back tomorrow he’d of woken me up to which he was shocked cause he was told we were moving stuff in early (we had permission) but that no one was living here till monday…crap. Where else was I supposed to sleep, all my stuff was here! I muttered something about crashing at a friends house and left, so I had no costume cause with him there I couldn’t go searching for it or get ready there, I was falling asleep on my feet and I couldn’t legally stay where my stuff was…double crap. I had to kill time until the painter left so I went to a Tim Horton’s drive through got a tea and a muffin, ate it while sitting in the suv and texting with friends and then drove back and hung out in my suv in my apartment parking lot just waiting…Lame! What’s lamer is I was so tired I fell asleep in my suv, thank goodness a friend texted me and my phone woke me up lol.

So all stealth like I snuck back in to the apartment once the painter was gone, put the couch together, grabbed a throw cushion and crashed. Luckily my couch is freakishly comfy. But I had to get up uber early just in case the landlady or the painter came in so I didn’t get all that much sleep – and it sucks I had to miss the halloween party! Although, I’m thinking with how tired I was I’d of had one drink and been done lol.

I spent all of Sunday cleaning the old place and working on the new one and really, since then everyday is me working on the new place. It’s taking longer then you might think cause I’m the only one here to move furniture and some of it is heavy and I can’t set up common area rooms properly cause my roomie hasn’t moved her stuff in yet – she’s having major issues getting her move organized, eek.

So to recap why I am getting fatter: Since Thursday I have eaten at Subway once, Fish n Chip shop once, Tim Horton’s 3 times (muffins and a sandwich) a restaurant’s burger and fries once (a real restaurant not fast food but still epic bad burger, it has coleslaw on it!), one medium pizza, numerous granola bars, oh and a toaster strudel. And how many times did I exercise since Thursday? Once! And that was yesterdays boxing class cause I was so desperate to work out that nothing could have kept me away! It’s amazing though how much better I felt physically and emotionally after boxing class. 🙂 I know one class isn’t going to make up for all the food damage I had inflicted while moving but still, I felt energized, thinner, healthier, just all around better! I must be deranged or something… 😉

You may be wondering why the heck I ate out so so so much instead of cooking? Well, for the first couple days I was techinically squatting in the apartment so I couldn’t have it looking like I was staying there, that and my mattress was in the kitchen and blocking the fridge and stove lol. Then I got the mattress out but all my kitchen stuff was packed so I had nothing to cook with. Then I finally unearthed some stuff and opened the stove and was so horrified I closed it right back up. Apparently the people before me didn’t believe in cleaning, soooooo gross! But the one cleaning product I don’t own is oven cleaner so I had to wait to buy some of that. Ridonkulous!

But finally, I have oven cleaner, decent access to the kitchen and some pots and pans and plates and bowls unpacked so tomorrow I will hopefully be able to cook in my kitchen…don’t hold out hope though, I’ve got no skills at cleaning ovens so I may be microwaving my food…which is ok cause I bought some microwave dinners today just in case! lol 🙂

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