So I am learning that there is a psychological component to this losing weight thing. Today has been really hard and not because I am hungry but because I want to eat; the eating wouldn’t be serving any purpose except to let me indulge in my food cravings so I am trying really hard to not cave but oh I want to!
I drove my roomie to the ferry, originally she was getting an early morning ferry so I immediately thought “sweet! after I drop her off I will pick up McDonald’s breakfast”. See, I love McD’s and almost never get the breakfast cause weekdays even though I am up early I am not going to detour to a McD’s on my way to work and on weekends I sleep in too late. shrug. Not a huge deal, it just makes it more of a treat when I get it. 🙂 So I have it set in my head that certain activities create the opportunity for McD’s breakfast and I jump at those chances; these opportunities are road trips, early morning errands – things like that. When I got home last night R informed me that she was going to take a slightly later ferry, no biggy, it was actually better for me cause it meant I would have more time to sleep but when I was driving I realized this meant I wouldn’t get my McD’s breakfast cause it would be over by the time I could get to a location. This should have been a relief cause it meant I wouldn’t have to fight my natural urge to turn in to the drive thru but I started thinking I’d trade in the Breakfast Bagel for a cheeseburger and fries, *rolls eyes*, that’s even worse! In the end I didn’t go, I drove home and thought that would be the end of it…it wasn’t. The weather today is rainy, kinda grey, the perfect weather to sit on the couch with a book, a cup of tea or even better hot chocolate and food to snack on. Since I knew the fast food was not gonna happen I started thinking of what I had at home that I could eat and what I instinctively wanted was a big bowl of pasta in a creamy thick sauce. Yum! I realized I was craving all kinds of things that I can’t have in portions that are horrible, what’s up with that?? I had been doing so well!
I think I figured it out though, watch my simple detective skills at work! lol. When the weather is rainy and grey I always sit curled up nice and cozy with a hot drink and a snack and dinner would be a nice big bowl of pasta – and not healthy pasta, pasta like those Lipton Sidekicks packages, they are so yummy but so bad for you! Oh, and fyi, not like I was eating a small portion of the package so not only was I eating something unhealthy I was eating it in a huge portion. I got so used to doing that I now associate rainy grey weather with pasta. lol. How dumb is that? Linking a weather pattern to a food, *rolls eyes*. It is looking like I associate a lot of things I do with certain foods and certain quantities of those foods. This is obviously something I am going to have to break. I already knew I loved the act of eating, I have never been able to stick with a program that has you downing shakes instead of meals, shrug, I just like to eat too much for that. I didn’t realize tho that my love of eating had transferred itself so strongly to different activities, that is just plain weird.
I am going to have to look out for these situations to make sure I don’t cheat because of an activity. I keep racking my brain for other things I do that have food linked to them, so far the only thing I have come up with is going to a movie, I love getting the popcorn, some maltesers and a pop…it’s the perfect combo in my opinion. I was going to go to a movie today just to prove I could go and not eat those things but I think that’d be pushing things too quickly, it’s hard enough sitting here and not eating the pasta I so badly want.
Something else I will have to work on is my eating during the weekends, I started off ok yesterday (that was saturday) – I had my cereal and fruit for breakfast and was content. Thing is, I didn’t eat that until around noon , I went to a friends house and while there got hungry so I had a bit of yogurt but I wasn’t snack hungry I was hungry hungry. We went for dinner to this great place called Brown’s Social House, the site address is www.brownssocialhouse.com and let me tell you, picking food from that menu was hard! They have a great selection of things, I could have had salad, sushi, a burger, fish (all Ocean Wise fish btw), pad thai…anything! I really really really wanted the Hickory Burger, it’s got bacon, beef patty, bbq sauce and all the rest of a normal burgers toppings. It sounded awesome. I settled instead for the Spa Veggie Burger, it is not a fake meat patty but a patty made from mushroom and grains (if I remember correctly what the waitress said), it wasn’t as good as a meat burger but it was darn good. Great flavours, good texture…almost all the things you want in a burger. lol. I got them to cut it in half in the kitchen and wrap half to go before bringing me my food so I couldn’t eat the whole thing in one sitting. Since my points for this meal are going to be estimates I figured it was best to try to cut them where I could. 🙂 With my burger I got yam fries, now an entire yam is only 3 points so you’d think something made from yam wouldn’t be so bad for you but when you think about the process the yam goes thru to become a fry, well, they probably aren’t very good for you. I am going to have to google nutrional info for them since yam fries are not listed in my weight watchers food book. Maybe they are so bad for you they don’t even put them in the book? Oh, thats a scary thought! Ack! To top it off K ordered the Wicked Mushroom appetizer and let me have some, I am fairly certain any health benefit you could get from a mushroom was taken away by the sauce they were drenched in. lol. And we ordered (to split) the Three’s Company dessert, it has samplers of all three of their dessert items. The waitress did mention all the desserts are made in house so that should cut down on how bad they are because there are probably no preservatives in the dishes…not like those frozen pies etc you can buy. The three samples were of a chocolate pecan pie (heavenly!) a banana and chocolate sponge cake (holy crap good!) and key lime pie (it was alright). Combined from all three of the samplers I think I had what would amount to a full piece of a dessert so thats how I counted my points for that, it was totally worth it though, yum! 🙂 After that I was so full I didn’t eat the rest of the day and I know I didn’t get as much water in me as usual. I was so full I didn’t want anything, not even water, I did sip at a glass of it but couldn’t manage to really drink the stuff.
Today (sunday) I started off similarly, cereal and fruit for breakfast (that was around 11am), then when I got home from my errands I wanted to eat even though I shouldn’t have been hungry yet. I refused to let myself eat and had a really hard time figuring out when I was actually hungry. Seems my body associates hanging out at home with gorge fest and that’s all I have wanted to do since I got back here. sigh. I had the other half of that veggie burger, not like I am going to waste food, and a big serving of mixed veggies in the hopes of quieting the tummy. lol. I didn’t get full from the meal but I am learning the sensations I associate with being full are actually how I feel when I have over eaten, I don’t think I really know what it feels like to be full but not stuffed…I am learning though! So now it’s evening and I am hungry…again…I am gonna hafta eat and I know I have points left I just don’t know how many cause I haven’t tallied up my points from today yet. Hopefully I have enough left for something really filling.
Here is what I ate Saturday:
3/4 cup Red Berry Special K = 2 points
1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point
1 nectarine = 1 point
tea = o points
1 yogurt = 1 point
1/2 veggie burger
-patty = 2 points
-bun = 3 points
-slice jack cheese = 3 points
yam fries = 7 points (I knew the points for these was gonna suck!)
dessert sampler = 6 points
So that is 26 points and I am only allowed 24…crap!
It could be worse I s’pose. Since I am allowed 35 flex points a week and I haven’t used any all week I guess using two is ok, I had hoped to not use any but it’s too late now. I will just have to be more careful this coming week…and on that note I am going to go find something to eat for dinner that won’t mess up my points for today!
The Amazing Shrinking Woman 
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