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So Way Too Much Food…ugh…

10 Oct

I don’t know how I managed to eat like this all the time, how I could stand feeling so sickly and gross. And yet, I did it often enough to get myself in this mess didn’t I?

Today was my Thanksgiving feast – I got a small Beef Taco Pizza from Panago and a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top from White Spot. Brought them both home and had myself a little (well, large) meal while watching a movie I rented. It was s’posed to be a throwback to the old days – see back in the day I would rent a couple movies, order in a pizza and have an evening of calorie laden bliss. I didn’t do it all the time but often enough to do damage to my waist line. lol. When I used to do this I would have the pizza delivered and always ordered a medium – I always figured it made better sense to order a medium and have enough left overs to last me a couple days, better use of my money. *rolls eyes* I know, I know, I think of that now and I wanna kick myself but it’s how I convinced myself back in the day it was ok to eat way too much pizza. This time I ordered a small and picked it up (saved on paying a tip teehee) but the goodness of getting a small pizza was completely out measured by the piece of pie I picked up from the restaurant. Oy. Pie slices from restaurants are crazy huge, and it was more expensive to buy one slice from there then to get an entire pie from Safeway but in this I felt the extra money was worth it, better to pay a bit more but only have one slice then to pay less and have an entire pie staring at you everytime you open the fridge door.

So I got all settled with my movie, chowed down on my pizza and ate way too much. I just kept going…it was disgusting. I should have stopped after 2 pieces but I didn’t, did I stop at 3 pieces? Nope, didn’t stop there either…4 pieces!! I ate 4 entire slices of pizza!! I might as well be rolled out the door while I can still fit and taken to a fat camp, ugh. Even as I was eating the 4th piece I was trying to figure out why I was eating it, no way I was hungry at that point but it was like something had been unchained and I couldn’t control it. sigh. When I was done the 4 slices I put the left overs in the fridge and decided the pie was gonna hafta wait cause I felt so ill there was no way I was gonna be able to eat it right then. I didn’t wait all that long to eat that pumpkin pie though, not even the entire length of the movie! I don’t know exactly how long I waited I just know the movie wasn’t over and I was eating the pumpkin pie, whipped cream an all! And do you think I left the crust behind to save myself calories? Well, if you did think that you are delusional! I ate it all. Admittedly it was yummy but double the width of a slice I would have cut for myself and way more whipped cream then what I would have topped it with. Why do restaurants do that?!

Looking back I should have put two slice of pizza on my plate and put the rest in the fridge right away. My brain has gotten used to only seeing the food I am actually going to eat so it knows it is ok to eat everything in front of me, but this, having the open pizza box, it was like my brain didn’t know when to stop. Oh, and I pulled out a large plate! The horrors! I never use those anymore, all my food is served on small plates, that way it looks like way more. I was just breaking all kinds of rules today. sigh.

It’s weird, I knew in advance I was going to eat the pizza and pie today, I convinced myself it was ok cause it was a one time treat for a holiday and blah blah blah. What a load of shit! Who cares that it is a holiday? That’s no reason to go off the deep end! All those weeks, hell, months of fighting to get my weight down and I go and eat a disgustingly huge meal in a super short amount of time which will pretty much screw my body up and confuse the hell out of it – and instead of admitting to myself I was using this holiday as an excuse to cheat big time on my “healthy eating lifestyle” I kept tricking myself in to not facing up to what I was doing. I didn’t even have the guts to be a straight shooter with myself in regards to this little (huge) step off the path to the world of thin.

I would like to say tomorrow I will be back to following all the rules and everything will be good but I am gonna be at a friends place for a good chunk of the day and have no idea what is gonna happen with food. I mean, obviously I will eat before I go, and try my best to take a snack over but if I am over there long enough that we end up getting a meal, shrug, there is only so much control I have over where we go and what options are on the menu. I will definitly be reading the salad section of the menu though!

So, I don’t have points calculated for my food yet today but here is a list, I will add points when I have them…although, I kinda don’t wanna know…

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 banana = 2 points

4 slices of pizza = ?

1 slice pumpkin pie with whipped cream = ?

1 can root beer = 3 points

Oh yeah, I didn’t even mention the root beer! I drank points! I never drink points! Since starting this whole thing the only liquid I take in is tea and water, oh and sometimes milk. I gave up pop but today, well, if you’re gonna be stupid might as well be stupid all at once I guess. FYI, that was the best root beer ever! I have really missed it. lol.  

So off I go to calculate my pizza and pie points…I will edit this soon.

EDIT:

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg I think I am having a bit of a panic attack, what have I done?!?! here are the points, keeping in mind they are approximations…not like that makes it any better tho…

The Pizza: the nutritional info is based on a single slice of a medium pizza, I ordered a small so my slices were smaller but I doubt they were so much smaller as to make much of a difference points wise, 1 slice = 4 points, omg, so that’s 16 points worth of pizza.

The Pumpkin Pie: I calculated the points on a slice of pumpkin pie from the nutritional info on a pie at the grocery store earlier in the week, it came to 1 slice = 6 points, crap, then add on the whipped cream which is 1 tbls = 1 point and I am in deep deep trouble, for the pie I approximated it at 10 points.

That puts me at a total of 33 points eaten for the day, 33! That is 11 flex points! ELEVEN!!!! Plus the one flex point I used yesterday, I have used 12 flex points in two days, omg. I might as well hit myself on the head with a hard blunt object for all I good I did myself today.

The only bright side I am finding here is I did get one measly piece of fruit at the beginning of the day with the banana, and I got some dairy in me with the yogurt. Plus, the pizza is topped with soooo many veggies that has to count towards my veggie count for the day. It doesn’t negate the damage I have done but at least while doing all that damage I was getting some good stuff. I am not counting the fruit/veg serving from the pumpkin pie, I am sure the healthiness was baked right out of it! lol

So what all this means is I have to be uber careful this coming week, no cheating, no little snacks here or there I shouldn’t have, no giving in to temptation at work – strict strict strict, and if I feel myself caving all I have to do is look back here and read how many points I ate in one day, one very low activity level day, that’ll keep me on track for sure!

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2 Responses to “So Way Too Much Food…ugh…”

  1. VeeEmm October 11, 2010 at 6:42 pm #

    I had to laugh when I read your post – you have such an entertaining way of expressing yourself – to think we used to eat like that and not realize what we were doing to ourselves! But – it was only one day, so back on track tomorrow and don’t eat the rest of the pizza all at once.
    Good luck the rest of the week – you will be fine as long as it’s not cake day at work!

    • shrinkingwmn October 11, 2010 at 10:55 pm #

      Thanks! 🙂 People who hear me talk say I write how I speak, shrug, I thought that was what everybody did but maybe not…lol. I am glad you enjoyed the post. 😀
      I didn’t even touch the left over pizza today, which I gotta say impresses me greatly. I think I may have some tomorrow for dinner, we shall see…oooh, the suspense! haha
      Cake day isn’t till the end of the month so I should be safe, theoretically…

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