Middle Ground

I’ve got a pair of pants that when I bought them I thought they fit but once I got them home and wore them out for the first time I realized they were actually a bit too big. The crotch (I hate that word! lol) was too low so it rubbed against the inside of my thighs causing pain and raw skin…too much info? only happens to me? Yeah, sigh, figures… 😉 lol

Anyways! I put the pants in the dryer, a calculated risk, that I hoped would prove to be a smart idea. It did, sorta. The pants, after a couple runs through the dryer fit better around the waist, butt, hips and leg areas. They were a tad shorter than I like but not so much shorter I can’t still wear them with a variety of shoes. Phew! My legs are so long I hang to dry all pants because they can very quickly become too short and I look like that person who is expecting a flood 24/7 lol 😛

So today for work I wore the pants. I was maaaaaybe an hour in to my shift and every time I was standing or walking I was also pulling the pants up a bit and wishing I’d worn a belt. They were fitting looser in all areas but of course were still the tad too short they had been since the dryer stints.

I don’t know if this means I have lost a little bit of weight (please oh please mean I have lost some weight! *crosses fingers*) or if it means my pants have stretched out a bit or didn’t shrink quite as much as I realized. Obviously I’m hoping I got smaller not that my pants got bigger.

I seem to appear to be back in the middle ground of clothing sizes. I hate the middle ground. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it is that stage where you are becoming too small for one size but are still too big for the next size down so your clothes don’t fit nicely no matter what you wear. It sucks even if it is an indication you’re on the right track.

this goes for all clothes

Thing is, I can’t think of anything that would have made me slim down a bit so I’m leaning towards the pants stretching out, which sucks.

I’ve been working on making small changes with my food, cutting out the processed foods I’d been enjoying during my off season, drinking more water, making sure to get protein in at every meal (well, ok, almost every meal, this is me after all lol), and, the big one, I’m eating less peanut butter! Shocking I know! I mean c’mon, I am the person who happily eats a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter and considers it a meal lol But yeah, small changes to my eating, nothing major, nothing to warrant slimming down enough to make pants fit looser.

One happy bonus to the pants fitting loosely this evening was it made it easier to resist bad-for-me-foods cause I kept thinking “if I have lost some weight I don’t wanna gain it back by making a stupid food choice” lol Oh the things I use for increasing my willpower! 😛

I have noticed lately that I am finding it easier to resist the foods that usually have me caving. Weird huh? Weird but awesome! If I walk through the bakery section at the grocery store I may glance at all the bakery items I usually drool over but I don’t pause and I definitely don’t buy. I contemplated pizza earlier in the week but easily managed to not order it. I’m finding it easier to not eat the foods at work.

I’m not sure where this increase in willpower has come from but I like it! 🙂 Maybe it’s because it’s dragon boat season again and I want to be in peak condition for practices and for the upcoming race season. Maybe it’s because I am “training” for the BMO Run and keep having horrifying images of a fat me being the last to cross the finish line at the run. Maybe it’s because I have had two auditions in the past two weeks (hoorah!) and want to look better and better for each upcoming audition. That and obviously the more confident I feel about how I look the less I will worry about it when in front of the camera meaning the more I can focus on my acting…and the  more I will look “right” according to casting directors.

It’s probably some combination of all these things and more, who knows what is lurking in my sub-conscious? lol 😉

Whatever it is, I am glad for it. Glad to be that person who easily walks past all the high calorie, processed, so tasty but so bad for me foods and buys the healthy stuff. Glad to be getting back to the way I used to be. Glad that this juuuuust might be the first step towards a healthier, stronger, slimmer me. *crosses fingers*

take the first step, put down the cookie!

Tags: acting, auditions, BMO Run, clothes don't fit, dragon boating, fat, food, healthy eating, in between sizes, resist temptation, running, weight loss, willpower