Tag Archives: cat life

Mimicking the Cat

20 May

On a recent day off I decided to do to Striker (the cat) what he does to me. Seemed only fair to show him what it’s like being on the receiving end of certain behaviours, right?

Here is what I learned…

What I did: got super close to his sleeping face and stared until he woke up.

What I learned: Striker doesn’t like that. Don’t do that. A startled awake cat is an unhappy cat.

What I did: I couldn’t stand on his chest while he was laying down and try to limit his breathing ability so instead I laid my head on his tummy area when he was laying on his side.

What I learned: Striker doesn’t like that. Don’t do that. A squished cat is an unhappy cat…who may or may not decide to bring out the claws.

What I did: talked to Striker incessantly because I could almost see the bottom of my bowl and I was obviously being starved.

What I learned: Striker doesn’t like that. Don’t do that. A cat being irritated by a talking human is a cat thinking of how best to get his human to shut up…permanently.

What I did: I got in bed first and spread eagled to take up as much space as possible, leaving Striker to get comfy in what little space was left.

What I learned: Striker doesn’t like that. Don’t do that. Striker will one hundred percent meow at me loudly until I move so he can have the prime spot on the bed.

And lastly…

What I did: commented on every yawn and stretch I did all day instead of comment on Striker’s adorable yawns and stretches.

What I learned: Striker couldn’t care less about that and is adept at ignoring me.

My life lesson from this is don’t pretend to be a cat, I can’t be as good of a cat as Striker can and mimicking Striker put me in danger of claws and teeth and revenge, not exactly ideal.

A Perspective Thing

2 May

If you were to ask me how the day went, and then ask the cat how the day went, you’d get drastically different descriptions despite our having spent the bulk of the day together.

My relating of today goes something like this…

Got to sleep in, which was nice, eventually got up, made breakfast, fed the cat, chilled with a couple episodes of Criminal Minds, realized I can’t be super lazy all day so went for a walk and was gone about an hour and a half. Once home did a quick vacuum of the living room, kitchen, and bedroom, started the laundry, made dinner, sat down to eat and watch more Criminal Minds. Between changing the loads of laundry I cuddled with the cat. All in all a pretty chill day.

The cat’s version of today is a tad different…

Was forced to wake up before I was ready, that human just can’t figure out the proper time to get up. Walked the human to the kitchen and was not at all surprised she put her needs before mine when it came to getting breakfast ready. Why she thinks it is ok to make her tea and toast her bagel before getting me fresh water and food is beyond me. Switched napping locations to the ottoman in the living room, I refuse to let her have the use of the entire ottoman for fear she will get spoiled and think it is hers. For a while I lay on her legs, I like stealing her body heat and it’s funny when she starts to get uncomfortable but doesn’t move because I’m on her. She had the nerve to get up and go outside! I definitely did not give her permission to do that. She was gone so long I thought I had been abandoned and was going to have to ration my food and water until rescued. Eventually she returned, I refused to acknowledge her, someone who would leave me like that doesn’t deserve my affection. I was then harassed by the evil loud machine that wants to eat me. Using all my stealth and speed I outwitted it once again. Instead of eating me it ate all my shed fur, the pieces of cardboard I had scratched and spread on the carpet, and the kitty litter I expertly kick out of the box and on to the floor. All that hard work destroyed! I immediately started replacing what it had eaten from the floor. The cardboard pieces are not as many as they once were but I will fix that over the next couple of days. I have already kicked more litter out of the box and despite my human trying to catch my fur that sheds when she pets me so she can put it in the garbage I have successfully left some fur on the carpet, the ottoman, and the living room throw blanket. I have been extremely productive today and deserve treats, obviously. After dinner I got the human to make a blanket fort for me to sleep in but she kept messing it up by leaving to go “switch laundry”, whatever that means. I employed my cutest positions and got her to stop getting up when the faint buzzer sound came from the other room thereby ensuring I got some much needed uninterrupted sleep. Now the human is up late waiting for the “last load to finish” and I am forced to sleep resting against her outstretched leg. I make sure to deep sigh and look at her with my sad eyes every ten minutes or so, making sure she realizes she is letting me down. I want to go to bed but have to wait for her so I can take the best spot right before she tries to get in the bed. It has been a traumatizing and exhaustive day, I can’t wait to get some sleep so I can be ready for my early morning tapping of the human’s face.

We Don’t Eat The Human

15 Apr

Picture this, Striker and I having a lovely cuddle. He’s purring, resting his head on my hand while I pet him with my other hand. All is calm and happy in our little section of the world.

Then, for no apparent reason, Striker lifts his head and in a slow and deliberate manner he bites down on the hand he had been using as a pillow. Then like some kind of adorable maniac he stays like that. Doesn’t apply more pressure, doesn’t release my hand, but does continue to purr.

So I, in a calm and rational manner, say:

“We don’t eat the human.”

Nothing. Not even a twitch of an ear to show he heard me.

I wait a beat, he turns his gaze, not his head, just his gaze, and makes eye contact with me. There was definitely a glimmer of the perfect little killing machine that is a cat in that gaze.

While making eye contact I repeated:

“We do not eat the human.”

I swear to god he rolled his eyes before releasing my hand. Then he flounced down to my outstretched legs, lay down with this back to me, and flicked his tail to show his displeasure with me.

He remained like that, pouting, for a solid twenty minutes before realizing it’s a better life strategy to keep the two-legged one who opens the food container moderately appeased, and turned around on my lap so I could see his adorable face.

And possibly so he could see if another opening appeared where he could get to my hand. 😜

It’s A Hard Day For A Cat

7 Mar

Today has been such a hard day for Striker.

He stole my chair, pillow, blanket, and heating pad.

First I was here, on a day I’m usually at work, ruining whatever plans he may have had.

Then I kept getting up and down from the living room chair, ruining his afternoon nap, because of having to do things like switch loads of laundry, go to the bathroom, make something to eat. Ya know, normal things for me but useless activities from his point of view.

To make everything even worse I had the nerve to leave the apartment, without his permission, to buy groceries. I took longer than normal because I chose to walk to the store instead of drive, something I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to face his wrath.

Now I’m back and instead of immediately settling down so he could cuddle on my lap I made dinner, and insisted on eating it! So rude I know. This of course delayed his evening nap.

Seriously harsh day for him.

For me though it wasn’t so bad, I did get to end it with a slice of homemade carrot cake which was delish.

Mmm, can’t go wrong with cake!

I will of course pay the price for eating the cake instead of providing cuddles, most likely punishment will come in the form of being jumped on in the night but hey, we lose an hour of sleep tonight so one less hour for Striker to get his revenge!

Pet Parent Guilt

18 Nov

Anybody who has a pet that they consider to be part of the family is probably familiar with Pet Parent Guilt. That guilt that settles on your shoulders when your pet is unhappy, or sick, or living anything less than their perfect life.

The cat that owns me (because that is definitely how our relationship goes! lol) is unhappy, and the only things I can do to make him better long-term are making him miserable short-term, sigh.

Last week I came home late and found Striker had ripped out a chunk of fur from his neck / upper chest area. The exposed skin was raw and weeping and looked like it must hurt terribly. I scooped him up, kinda freaking out because omg I was looking at a chunk of sore looking skin and what does he do? He starts purring and acting like everything is cool.

What. The. Hell.

Of course this happens at night, on a long weekend, because cats definitely have excellent timing. *rolls eyes*

We went to bed and he slept like the angel he most definitely isn’t while I kept waking up to check on him. In the morning while I was distracted getting ready for work he started messing with the area and made it bleed. The fur in that area is white so he looked like he’d been through some sort of massacre. Again with me freaking out and not knowing what to do, and being even more panicky because I had to go to work and no vets in my area would be open on the stat Monday. While at work I was telling some co-workers what was going on and they told me about a new 24/7 vet hospital near-ish work that had opened. So I did what any sane person would do, I left work 2 hours early so I could go check this place out and see if I could get Striker in to see someone.

The place looked nice, I spoke with someone about what to do to treat Striker at home, and off I went to buy gauze, and Polysporin for kids, and more gauze. Then for the fun part, bandaging a cat’s neck, which is kind of like taking your life in your hands, only you’re putting your life in the hands of the cat’s claws and that is much much worse. 😉

Surprisingly he let me put polysporin on his wound, and wrap gauze around his neck (and a bit around his torso to make it harder for him to get it off), without any complaint. He then went in to “I can’t function” mode because putting anything around his neck or body is like putting kryptonite around Superman, makes him unable to do anything and collapse where he is. He is quite dramatic about the whole thing, which is hilarious when it is me putting his harness on because we are about to travel or putting his Christmas sweater on for a quick photo op, but makes me feel horrible when it is a bandage that is going to have to stay on for a while.

Being the crazy cat lady that I am I arranged for my Tuesday shift at work to be covered, cancelled on my friend that I work out with Tuesday nights, cut back everything I had to do all week to the bare minimum so I spent as much time at home with Striker as possible. All he wanted to do was curl up either on or right beside me, so that is what we did. I sat and he picked where he wanted to cuddle, and we both spent hours not doing much more than that. Turns out you can end up napping due to sheer boredom, who knew? We worked daily bandage changes in to our routine and each time I tried something new in an attempt to make it more comfortable for him, harder to get off, and harder to damage with claws…I won’t say I was all that successful but points to him for enduring all the things I tried out on him.

It’s been a week and we have downgraded to a bandanna around his neck. This wasn’t actually my choice so much as when I was at work Friday he got the bandage that was under the bandanna off and I thought we’d give wearing just the bandanna a try. He scratches at the bandanna and twirls it around his neck, which is kind of adorable, but also results in fabric damage. Only two days of wearing it and I had to take it off yesterday because it was shredded and I was worried he’d end up eating pieces of it. sigh. My hope was the area was far enough along in the healing process he didn’t need anything covering it anymore but he got all obsessive about cleaning that area and he was getting dangerously close with his back claws when he was scratching his neck so I found some cloth I could wrap around his neck, just temporarily, until I can find something better to put on him.

I can’t figure out if the area is actually itchy or if he was messing with it just because…I mean, he is a cat, I can see him messing with it just to screw with me lol

So this is where we are at. I have guilt because he was unhappy enough, or itchy enough, or whatever enough, that he took out a chunk of his own fur, hurting himself, and even though it has been a week he is still miserable because I keep wrapping things around his neck.

A random thing, how impressive is it that this wonderfully complex creature sits so quietly and lets me wrap things around his neck, he doesn’t even try to get away, just waits till I am done. The level of trust that he has in me is humbling.

Another random thing, when he is upset he stops eating and drinking, which is another thing I have been stressing about. Until I realized if I bring his water dish to him and encourage him to drink he will, and if I bring his food to him and encourage him to eat he will. For days I have been serving him where ever he has decided to rest all in an effort to keep him hydrated and fed…which seems to have created a bit of a monster because not only did I serve him I also put dishes of food and water on a table that is the same height as my bed so he could easily reach them when I had to go out, and now he meows at me to refill those dishes before we go to bed so he can have late night snacks without actually having to leave the bed. What have I done?!

IMG_2557

So graceful, so majestic, so spoiled.

The Purse Is Innocent

13 Oct

I yelled at my purse today. You read that right, I yelled…at my purse, cause ya know, apparently I’m a psycho. *rolls eyes*

yelling

Pretty sure I don’t look this impressive when yelling…

I’m not usually that person who catches every cold bug that floats around. Not saying I don’t get sick, just that when I do it usually hits hard, lasts three days or so, then goes away, and it doesn’t happen frequently.

Except for this fall, it would seem my immune system has chosen a new life path, that doesn’t involve defending my body from germs, and now I am getting sick far more often than normal while my immune system is doing who knows what! Maybe taking a nap on a beach without me? Hibernating? Reading a book? Wherever those little white blood cells are they better be happy because if I ever see them again I’m…I was about to threaten them but who are we kidding? If they come back and start working again I’ll be super grateful for two days then I’ll forget about them and go about my regular routine. sigh.

The end of September I caught a cold that had me off work for a day, and feeling like crap for a bit over a week. Just when I thought I was better it had a resurgence (which I really feel shouldn’t be allowed), and I was sick for another week or so. Eventually I was able to breath through my nose again, not feel like I needed to nap every hour, and my body stopped alternating between being feverish and chilled, basically, I got better. Yay!

Last night I went to bed with a sore throat and a freezing body and a just in general feeling of ick, I was hopeful I would sleep off whatever it was and wake up fine.

Obviously I am delusional.

unicorn meme

The cat woke me up around 8am because he decided puking up a hairball on my bed was a good life choice, the sound had me springing in to action, carting him as fast as possible to a room with linoleum floors so he can be sick there. Lovely way to wake up. Just lovely.

When the cat was on the floor and I was waiting for him to finish so I could clean up after him, (I lead such a glamorous life lol), I realized my throat was still killing me, talking was not a thing that I was going to attempt, and I felt like crap. Again. I texted a co-worker who covers shifts and arranged for her to work for me and crawled back in to bed, so I could be unconscious while I felt like crap.

Alternating between sleeping and sort-of sleeping is how I (and the cat) spent most of Saturday. When I (and the cat) eventually got out of bed it was to sit in the living room, still in pj’s, and cuddle under a blanket while mindlessly watching YouTube and wishing for the energy to make a cup of tea.

I really like living alone but would definitely appreciate someone being around when I am too sick to want to function…when will personal robots finally be a thing? I need a robot…

Hibernating all day, while tempting, wasn’t a thing I could do because I had to go buy cat food. The world of pet care doesn’t stop just because I don’t feel well after all, so to the store I went!

If I was going out I was going to run more than one errand so I stopped at two shops for various things as well as returned some books to the library…during all this was when my patience snapped and I yelled at my purse, like a loon.

It was so stupid, I was just back in my car after being in shop number one, feeling frustrated because I’m tired and having trouble staying focused on what I’m doing (so a super safe driver obviously 😉 ) not getting all the items I needed from that store because they don’t carry everything advertised in their flyer (it is a small location) and I was trying to put my phone back in the little pocket in my purse, where it lives, in the dark while not looking. Something, fyi, I can normally do. Well, tonight I couldn’t. For some reason it didn’t matter how much I tried I couldn’t find the pocket and instead of just looking, or turning on a light, or doing any of the number of things that would make this task easy, I yelled at the purse. Not like a full on screaming match at it or anything, just a couple words yelled in frustration.

Frustration that isn’t actually aimed at the purse, it was just a handy target, but frustration that is aimed at me, and being sick again, and not functioning as well as I normally do, and thinking of how being sick yet again is going to impact my coming days. There goes some social plans I had, won’t be going to the gym, or for any hikes in the last of our nice weather, my brain is foggy so my focus is sucky which makes everything seem harder, my energy levels today were barely existent so all my daily tasks (like dishes) will tire me out more than normal leaving less energy for fun stuff, I’m missing two shifts at work so my pay cheque is going to suffer, a lot.

I know its petty, and such a whiny first world problem kind of thing to be complaining about. Oh woe is me, I’m sick again so I won’t be going on a hike. Life could be so much worse, and I know that. Right now however, in this moment, in my little section of the world, my being sick is what is affecting me the most, and that it is happening again, so close to the last time I was sick, is really pissing me off.

And apparently I’m taking out that anger on my purse, by yelling at it. Good thing the purse doesn’t have feelings or I’d be feeling sick as well as contrite for taking my anger out another.

For now though, the cat and I are going to crawl back in to bed, and try to sleep our way through my being sick…well, I’m going to try to sleep my way through being sick, he is just going to enjoy having an inert body around more than normal that he can lay on.

striker on back

He is laying on my back.  As long as he’s comfy, right?

So We Are All Aware

23 Jan

Just so everyone is aware the cat had a very tiring day.

First he had to walk to his food dish from the bedroom where he had been curled up on what I pretend is my bed (since ya know, I paid for it) but in reality is his bed because he is a blanket and space hog.

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Then he had to move from one spot in the apartment to another at various times throughout the day so he could make sure to nap in each of his favourite spots at least once in a 24 hour period. Wouldn’t want his dolphin blanket to think he loved it less than his spot in the back of my closet. 😉

By the end he was so exhausted his only recourse was to collapse on my legs and have one last glorious sleep session…

2016-01-21 20.33.27

…before ya know, curling up in my arms and purring his way back to unconsciousness.

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Poor guy. Don’t know how he manages to survive such hard and stressful days. He’s an inspiration to me!

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