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Archive | 10:16 pm

Driven To Eat

13 Jan

I am not a huge alcohol drinker. I’m not that person who has a glass of wine every evening, or who when out for dinner automatically orders a highball and I’m definitely not that person who when stressed/irritated makes the comment “I need a drink!”

I completely understand the urge to reach for something to take the edge off though. What do I reach for?

Chocolate! πŸ˜€

Yes, that’s right, when I am done dealing with a super stressful/annoying situation I think (though rarely say) “I need chocolate!” and heaven help me if there is any nearby *rolls eyes*

I used to reach for fast food, so I suppose reaching for chocolate is a bit of an improvement?…ok fine, I know it’s not but let me have my illusion k? πŸ˜‰

Today I had to deal with this one resident who tests my patience like nobody else on the planet. She tests everybody’s patience so don’t go judging me and thinking I’m the only one who has an issue here lol She’s a nice lady, just…shrug, high maintenance? Something that should take less than 5 minutes to sort easily takes 30 minutes cause of how she does things. If it is quiet then it’s fine but today I had line ups at the desk, every phone line ringing and she was being super high maintenance, as in suuuuuuper high maintenance! As in omg I want to hit my head against a wall to get out of this situation because that would be less painful!

After I was done helping her I actually sat at my desk, head in my hands, exhausted from the ordeal. I also actively had the thought “I need chocolate. Desperately need chocolate.” Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending how you want to look at it) we had some lovely Purdy’s chocolates at work and oh boy did I snack! Three! I ate three amazingly delish chocolates, they are two layers of chocolate with a layer of mint in between, it was my first time having them and I can easily say they are ranking up there as a new fave. Mmm!

Mmm! Chocolate and mint, one of the best combos ev-ah!

Mmm! Chocolate and mint, one of the best combos ev-ah!

I know it isn’t good to have food as a release valve when stressed, just like it isn’t good to use food as a reward or a way to celebrate something or provide comfort for something going badly…and yet! lol

I don’t use food for any of those reasons as much as I used to, or at least I don’t think I do, but I can definitely remember a number of times when I used food for those reasons. I remember after a photo shoot a couple years ago, it ended around 9pm and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast so I was starving, as a way to celebrate an awesome shoot I bought pizza and dessert breadsticks on the way home from Panago. I justified the meal because (1) I hadn’t eaten in a freakish long time and (2) celebrating a great shoot. Ridiculous right? I’ve had other similar situations and it’s, sigh, it’s just a dumb way to use food. I try to get my thinking to change to “food is fuel” but it’s hard. So many people socialize around food, or celebrate around food, or mourn around food, food is used in so many situations that I guess it’s a natural progression to food becoming a source of comfort, a stress reliever, a way to celebrate.

Just because it is a natural progression doesn’t mean it isn’t stupid though. πŸ˜›

Speaking of stupid…I was supposed to go to the gym today after work. It was to be my first time back since being sick and then the hip injury. I had my whole workout plan figured out, was actually pretty psyched to be going back and what happened? I ended up napping when I got home, then taking forever to properly wake up, then taking forever to figure out what to make for dinner and making it and eating it, then I got wrapped up in watching the new episode of Law & Order SVU and then it became now and it is too late to go. Crap. I know it’s my fault I didn’t go, I should have gone right after work, or forced myself to get up from that nap, or something but I didn’t and now I have yet one more day under my belt of not hitting up the gym…and what makes it worse is that one more day under my belt involves three Purdy’s chocolates! *groan*

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