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Archive | 10:36 pm

Beauty Everywhere

5 Jan

The first hospital visit (you can read about that here) took a while, well ok, both visits did but I heard something that made me smile, and feel like juuuust maybe there is hope for the human race.

In the “room” next to me (basically three walls and a curtain lol) was an old Chinese couple. The lady didn’t say much of anything but the husband spoke quite a lot, it could have been because of the dialect but when he spoke he sounded harsh and just not comforting and I kept thinking how I wish he’d shut up because I’m in enough misery as is and how much worse must it be for the lady stuck in the same space as him?

Well, at one point, when their son had left for a bit and there were no medical staff in with them the husband started to sing to his injured wife. Softly, and not well, lol, but gently. I don’t know what he was saying (language barrier!) but it wasn’t the words that mattered so much as the tone behind them. That song, being sung by that man to his hurt wife sounded of love. You could hear in his voice the affection he has for her, you could hear that he was upset she was hurt, you could hear the love.

For those couple of minutes she seemed soothed. For those couple of minutes I felt soothed.

That song, the emotion he obviously felt while singing that song made it clear that language barriers can be overcome by strong emotions and that you can find beauty anywhere you look if only you take the time to pay attention to your surroundings.

I’ve never dated someone that would have been willing to sing to me in public to help me feel better but listening to that old man do that for his wife gave me hope that maybe someday I will.

old couple

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Hospital Visit Number 2

5 Jan

The T3 I took Thursday when I got home from the hospital knocked me out for a good chunk of Friday. I woke up long enough to call work and tell them I wasn’t going to be able to come in then passed out for another couple hours. I really needed the sleep since I’d gotten almost none the night before and was now in day 3 of constant pain. Pain is tiring after a while but when it’s strong it stops you from being able to escape via sleep which seems uber unfair to me. 😛 lol

I decided to go to the hospital for 5pm because that is when parking gets cheaper lol

I got to the admitting desk, showed them my note from the doctor I saw the previous day saying I needed a CT scan, got a new wristband and was plunked in to a huge chair that lays flat if needed. They thought it would be less painful then a bed. They were wrong lol To be fair though no position was comfy so I don’t think a bed would have been any better pain wise, shrug.

another wristband. least I didn't have to change in to a gown this time!

another wristband. least I didn’t have to change in to a gown this time!

Even with the note there was some confusion about the CT scan so I had quite a wait. I took a book with me just in case I was there a long time but couldn’t focus on the words due to how much pain I was in. My brilliant idea turned out to be not so brilliant. Ah well, I tried!

Eventually I ended up getting the CT scan then of course I got brought back to my oversized chair and had to wait for the results. Oh, and I got more blood drawn. From the same arm! Seems a tad cruel if you ask me lol. Goes to show how good the vampires are though, I have no bruises from the needles even though I was poked in the same spot two days in a row. Yay for no bruises!

Left: the maple leafs painted on the ceiling of the CT department. Right: me waiting in my chair

Left: the maple leafs painted on the ceiling of the CT department. Right: me waiting in my chair

Eventually the doctor came to see me, a different doctor from the night before. The results of the CT scan showed: something in my hip. What the hell is it with these test results?!?! All they can say is there is “something” there *rolls eyes* Not helpful!

The doc had a list of potential things it could be, ranging from bacterial infection to gout to unknown. She doesn’t think infection is likely because I don’t have a fever and the hip isn’t red and/or swollen. Gout is also unlikely cause of my diet (I eat lots of veggies) but that lands us in to the unknown section of the list. The decision was made to send me home with a prescription for strong pain meds that will not make me drowsy so I’ll be able to function and have me wait 24 hours to see if the hip starts to get better on its own. How is this a good decision? *confused face*

This conversation was had at around 10pm which meant I was being sent home, after now being in constant pain for 3 days, with a prescription I wouldn’t be able to fill until the next day because pharmacies are closed and all I could do was wait and see.

I know it makes me a wimp but on the way to my suv I started crying. The idea that they weren’t fixing my hip or even diagnosing it and that I was going to have to deal with that level of pain for at least another day was just too much for me to take. Yeah yeah I know, woe is me right? *rolls eyes*

I took another T3 that night when I went to bed but it wasn’t strong enough to stop me from waking up all through the night from pain, sigh.

Luckily the same friend who insisted on driving me home from the hospital the first night was willing to take my pain med prescription to the pharmacy and get it filled for me, oh, and get me some apple juice lol Hey don’t judge! When I am sick or in pain I want apple juice, it’s how I roll! 😉 The pills cost me $5.05, without my health care coverage they would have cost $25.25.

These pain pills come with strict rules, must must must be taken with food. And not like have a snack and take a pill but have a meal and when halfway done eating the meal take the pill, then continue with the meal. Like I have to sandwich the pill within my stomach between lots of food. Weird.

Because I got the pills late in the day I was only able to take two of the three per day I am supposed to take. They kinda helped but not so much I was able to walk without the crutches. I still had to lift my leg with my hands to be able to get in to bed, or on my living room chair… Oh yeah, I don’t think I mentioned that, the pain is wicked bad but I’ve also lost mobility so getting dressed, taking stairs, getting on to furniture, anything that involves the leg lifting upwards is pain pain pain! and soooo not happening unless I use my hands to lift the leg. I learned early that if I force the thigh muscles to relax it’s much less painful then if I flex the muscles. Don’t know why but whatever I can do to lessen the pain I will do! 🙂

The next step is getting the hip aspirated, which means the hip will be numbed and a big ass needle will be poked in it and it will suck out some of whatever is in my hip so it can be tested and doctors can finally know what is going on in there. They want to wait before doing it because the procedure itself opens my hip up to potential infection and they want to avoid that if possible.

I’m torn at this point on what to do. Today would’ve been the day I go back and get the hip aspirated based on the wait-and-see-if-I-magically-get-better-approach. The pain isn’t as bad anymore but I’m positive that is because of the pills and being able to rest the hip for two days straight, not because whatever is wrong with it is magically getting better on its own. But since the pain is lessened that technically puts me in the category of “not supposed to go back to the hospital”. See the dilemma?

I decided to not go back today based on the lessened pain however, tomorrow I have to go to work so I figure I’ll see how the hip is after I’m done work. If, even on the pills and with the aid of crutches it is in a world-of-pain then I’m gonna go to the hospital right after work and yet again try to get this figured out. Hopefully without the hip being aspirated because the idea of a big ass needle being poked in my hip does not appeal to me at all! Ick!

Hospital Visit Number 1

5 Jan

This is not how I expected to start my new year lol I am right this second sitting with my right leg stretched out, a blanket folded under the knee, pain meds in my system and crutches leaning within arms reach. Laaaaame!

Let me catch you up!

Tuesday (Dec 31/13) I felt a twinge in my right hip. Something kinda hurt but not too bad, shrug. It reminded me of a twinge I had in my hip years ago that went away when I stopped sitting on my ass and started exercising more. I thought it was my body being all “woman, stop being lazy and get back to the gym!” I wasn’t worried, more annoyed.

Wednesday (Jan 1/14) My right hip actually full fledged hurt. I was not impressed! It was a pain strong enough that I was limping and nothing seemed to make it better. Didn’t matter if I was sitting, standing, walking, leaning, it always hurt. I was limping but I was still able to do everything I normally do at work and at home so while it sucked I figured I’d let my body heal itself.

Here’s the thing about me, I don’t like going to the doctor. I figure if I am sick I’ll let my immune system take care of it. If I hurt myself I’ll rest whatever part of me I hurt and let my body heal itself. Our bodies are amazingly well equipped to take care of themselves but so many people want an instant fix and aren’t willing to just chill and let their bodies get better on their own. So even though my hip hurt and I was limping and it sucked I didn’t even contemplate going to a doctor.

Thursday (Jan 2/14) I had sooooo much trouble sleeping! I got woken up in the middle of the night because of how much pain I was in and couldn’t get back to sleep. When it was time to get up for work I had trouble getting out of bed, getting ready for work, getting in to my suv, standing once I’d been sitting, walking, carrying anything…basically anything that involved my right hip (which is  practically everything!) hurt so much I would have to stop and take deep breaths and bite my tongue so I didn’t make a noise. I had plans after work to hang with my lil sis that I couldn’t break so even though I wanted to cry from the pain I met up with her when work was done. We hung out, went for dinner and chilled at the diner we were in. At this point there was no such thing as a comfortable position for my hip. The booth I was sitting in made me want to cry, omg it was so painful! We sat for waaaay too long and when it was time to go I could barely stand. I was stuck in a bent over position, hinged at the hip cause I couldn’t straighten out completely and I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to make it back to the suv but really, what choice did I have? shrug. After I dropped my lil sis off I went to the ER at the closest hospital. I wasn’t going to go but my lil sis pointed out I wasn’t in this much pain after my car accident and I realized this was ranking right up there with my knee being stuck in a dislocated position for hours and my ovary being twisted and dying. If the pain is ranking that high up there then I guess I should cave and go see a doc, shrug.

Enter The Hospital!

I got to the ER, got admitted decently fast, had really nice nurses, got assessed, had to pee in a cup twice, had what seemed like 1/3 of my body’s blood drawn for testing, had my right hip X-rayed in incredibly painful positions, oh, and spent a helluva lot of time laying in a bed waiting. After all, what is a hospital visit without a lot of waiting, right? lol

waaaaaiting!

waaaaaiting!

Left: The pattern on my hospital gown Right: My clothes, I reeeeally wanted back in my clothes!

Left: The pattern on my hospital gown Right: My clothes, I reeeeally wanted back in my clothes!

After all the testing, and waiting, and picture taking the doc came to speak to me and tell me my tests results. I’m paraphrasing here but what she said was something like this: the x-rays show you have something in your hip. A calcification or growth, possibly an infection.

Nice huh? lol

Because the x-ray didn’t give specific enough images I got given some pain pills, crutches and a doctor’s note to bring back with me the next day when I have to return and get a CT scan.

the portable comp the doc brings over when they come see you and the bill for the crutches

the portable comp the doc brings over when they come see you and the bill for the crutches

The crutches I was brought had to be bought instead of rented but I was assured renting would cost the same or possibly a bit more so I might as well buy a new pair. I didn’t have to pay then of course, I just had to sign the bottom of that paper saying I acknowledge the crutches are $31 and that I know the hospital will mail me a bill. The T3’s they sent home with me and the pain pills they gave me while I was there were free, oh, and of course the visit itself didn’t cost anything cause hey, land of health care! lol 😉 I think my health insurance through work will pay for the crutches, I’m gonna hafta call them tomorrow and ask though cause I’m not absolutely sure. I know I have coverage but it’s not like I memorized what all is covered lol

By the time I was allowed to leave it was stupid late, almost 3am? I’d been texting with a friend while there and she insisted on coming to get me instead of letting me drive myself home, I’m super grateful to her because I was exhausted and being in one position for so long in the hospital bed had made the hip seize up even more. Ouchie.

I went to sleep with the help of a T3 and the knowledge that I was gonna have to go back the next day for the CT scan and oh man that was most likely gonna suck. Least the T3 let me get some actual sleep that night! 🙂

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