Archive | 11:39 pm

Words I Don’t Like

4 Feb


Blood work.

Urine testing.


Fluid in the joint.









There are a lot more words I don’t like but those ones in particular, being used in a convo with me, in regards to my hip, well lets just say those words are my current most hated words.

I had my doc appointment today to learn the results of my CT scan, the results aren’t exactly awesome. I’m not dying, so that’s good but I have to go for more blood work, rushed blood work, and I have a rushed referral to a specialist whose title I can’t recall right now and if my hip gets red, warm to the touch, more painful (or a bunch of other things) I am to immediately go to the ER and tell them I have fluid in my hip and two calcifications or bone chips (or something that reads like those) in the joint and well, presumably they will know what to do. Eesh. This is all becoming a tad overwhelming.

I appear to be a bit of an anomaly, apparently the fluid in my hip usually indicates an infection but I don’t have a fever nor have I had a fever recently so it seems unlikely I have an infection…I’m confusing the doc lol

It was explained to me that I have two, let’s call them calcifications, in my hip joint, they aren’t sure if I was born with them or if my hip underwent a trauma that caused them, but either way, I have them and they are causing the pain and that is causing the fluid in the joint and the infection that isn’t an infection. Oh, and I have a cyst but that appears to be unrelated, it just happened to show up on the CT scan. Lovely.

I’m wondering if I forgot anything but I don’t think I did…as if all that isn’t enough? *rolls eyes*

I’ve calmed down since I’ve been home, I’m not freaking out nearly as much as I was before. I’m in a tests-are-being-done, specialists-are-being-called, steps-are-being-taken so why worry frame of mind. It’ll get sorted and no point in freaking out about it. Right? Right!

So after the appointment I went grocery shopping, dropped a tonne of money (ugh, poor bank balance) but I stocked up on frozen foods that were on sale aaaaaaand I bought the ingredients for the Weight Watcher’s veggie soup (the recipe is above under the Recipes Page) and that is what I did when I got home. I made a huuuuge batch of veggie soup, most of which I will freeze in individually portioned out sizes but some I will keep in the fridge to eat this week. Not to be tooting my own horn but I make a pretty good veggie soup so I’m looking forward to eating it. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜›

how veggies become soup!

how veggies become soup!

The finished product - veggie soup!

The finished product – veggie soup!


Tonight however I googled how to bake a potato in the oven (turns out it is really easy but takes a while), when it was cooked I split it open, put some marble cheese on it, waited for it to melt then topped the whole thing with maple flavoured baked beans, Mmm! It’s a comfort food dish I don’t eat often but I guess I’m a bit more thrown by what the doc said then I want to fully acknowledge and I ended up with comfort food for dinner. *rolls eyes* Oh well, not like it’s gonna kill me! πŸ˜›


Freaking. Out.

4 Feb

I am freaking out about three different things right now, all completely different, all on different serious-ness levels, and all messing with me, arg!

The first is on a stupid level: I seem to be a bottomless pit today, constant hunger (except for one period of time earlier this evening that I will tell you about farther in to this post), I don’t want to be eating like a crazy person today, but it seems to be a choice between eat more than I think I should be eating or feel starved. Oh and I don’t mean a little nibble “starved” but as I type this my tummy is rumbling and I am at a level of hunger that is super uncomfortable. I am at this level of hunger even though I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner aaaaand a snack three hours or so after dinner. Maybe I should have eaten more protein today, that fills a person up longer, or…what? I don’t know…something…I feel I should have done something throughout the day to prevent this constant hunger buuuut there is only so much food I am willing to eat so I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with feeling hungry. sigh.

By Mr Crocker via Deviant Art

By Mr Crocker via deviantArt

The second things I’m freaking out about is on a fun level: I signed up for the BMO Run, the options were 8km, half marathon or full marathon…I chose the 8km which I know to most will seem like a ridiculously short distance and not even worthy of a person’s time but the most I’ve ever “run” was a 5km and I didn’t run the whole thing, both times I did the 5km I did it with a friend and each time we ended up walking a good chunk of it. I’m excited because I’ve been wanting to run some sort of marathon type thing for a while now but I know I wouldn’t be able to run a half marathon let alone a full marathon cause I am sooooo not a runner lol 8km seems perfect, long enough it will be something to work towards and require me to do some training so I don’t suck on the day but not so long it kills me or I feel like a failure or terrified about not being able to complete it. Despite picking the shortest distance I am still freaking out a bit because like I said, I am not a runner, I don’t know for sure that I can actually do this, what if I suck so badly I can’t finish? That would be mortifying! Plus, I signed up for it alone, which will suck cause I’ll have no one to share the fun of the day with but I really want to try my best for this and if I suck I don’t want to be able to say it was cause the person I was with wanted to walk (or some other type of excuse), how well I do will rest solely on my shoulders…but it won’t be as much fun without a friend to share it with.

8km run bmo

The third thing I am freaking out about is kinda serious but I’m hoping I’ve blown it out of proportion: The doctor’s office called about my x-ray and CT scan results. I forgot my phone at home today, (felt like I was missing a vital piece of my body all day! lol), when I got home I checked my messages and I had one from the doctor’s office saying the doc wanted me to come in today as soon as I could to discuss the CT scan, I was to call them and they would fit me in. Um, what? Don’t they only want you to go in when it is something bad?? So, freak out part one! I called, as soon as I said my name the receptionist knew why I was calling (I’m hoping they were having a quiet day, not that she knows something bad is up and it is so horrifying it burned my name in to her memory…), I told her I forgot my phone and didn’t get her message till then and sorry but there was no way I could get there before the office closed (it was 4:40pm and they close at 5pm). She put me on hold, comes back and says the doc can stay till 6pm if I can get in before then to which I responded I am in the middle of cooking a stir fry so can’t really leave it, could I please go tomorrow? Freak out part two! She’s willing to stay late to see me?? OMG! She puts me on hold again, then comes back and asks if I am feverish (what?? weird!), I said no, so she said ok then tomorrow would be fine. A tad random don’t ya think? So now I have an appointment tomorrow at 4…crap, at 4 something, I can’t believe I forgot the time of the appointment! I’ll have to call them tomorrow to confirm, only me! lol πŸ˜› Anyways! I now have an appointment with the doc tomorrow to talk about my hip and the results of the CT scan and I am freaking out because in my world you only have to go in to discuss test results when it is bad news. 😦 I don’t wanna go. *pout* If I ignore it won’t it go away? And before you say “no it won’t” I already know that cause I am the one sitting here with hip pain which I keep trying to ignore and it keeps not going away, stupid pain. Oh, and to make it worse, the pain is now in both hips not just the right hip, what the hell is going on in there? Stupid hips. sigh.

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

I don’t have any idea what might be wrong, which means my brain has been flying off in 20 different directions coming up with all kinds of ridiculous things it could be, none of them are positive of course lol I was so freaked out that after I got off the phone and finished cooking my dinner I stared at it for a while cause I wasn’t hungry, the news actually messed with my appetite, nothing messes with my appetite! Least not to suppress it so ya know I’m worried when I don’t want to eat…I eventually did eat but only because I didn’t want to waste the food, not out of hunger…which is ironic considering I’ve been a bottomless pit all day…

So there we have it, I am in full freaking out mode, mostly about the doctor visit and her level of insistence at seeing me as soon as can be arranged. I keep thinking it’ll end up being nothing serious and this freaking out will be for nothing and I’ll be pissed if I get a wrinkle or white hair from this but then a little part of my brain starts with the “what if it isn’t a little thing” and I’m right back to freaking out.

I think I’ll try to concentrate on the BMO Run, least that is a fun freak out topic…

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