Tag Archives: needles

A Whole Pint

12 Sep

I do not donate blood. Why? Because I don’t really think about it and when the option is waved in my face I retreat due to a fear of needles.

Why would I donate blood when others do, others who do not practically hyperventilate when a needle is aimed for their arms?

Well, a card came in the mail about 4 days ago and it was about donating blood, it was saying the normal things those advertisements always say, about how they need more donors, not enough blood blah blah blah.

For some reason, instead of immediately tossing the card out and forgetting about it I kept it and the idea of donating blood bounced around in my head for a couple of days.

I realized not donating blood because I am scared of needles is a stupid reason to not donate.

We all need blood, duh, and who knows when something might happen and I will be the person needing the transfusion instead of being the person healthy enough to donate? I am not sick now but that doesn’t mean I won’t become sick, it doesn’t mean I won’t be in an accident, it doesn’t mean a thousand different things won’t happen to me in the next twenty minutes that will make me the person in need. And how could I, in good conscience, accept blood when I have never had the decency to donate some.

It’s like taking food from the food bank when you’ve never donated to it. Or like accepting help from the government if I lose my job but never having my previous pay cheques tithed so I contributed to the pot. It’s like getting someone to drive me places when I am injured but never helping them when they need a hand.

See where I am going with this?

I believe in balance and you can’t have balance without Give and Take, emphasis on the Give since it is always more important to give than take…imo.

Also, and this is my selfish reason for donating, what better way to over come a fear than to purposefully expose myself to it?

Sure I have had needles poked in to me over the years, but this, donating, allowing myself to be jabbed with a needle when there is no benefit to me…I’d say that might help me get over my fear…maaaaaybe…

My experience went as well as can be expected I suppose, every one there was really nice, they put a sticker on me saying I was a first time donor so that at every stage things would be explained to me in more detail since I had no idea what the hell was going on lol I also got a sticker at the end saying something along the lines of “be kind to me, I donated blood today”

My stickers

My stickers

Apparently I am still a child at heart because I enjoyed getting the stickers lol 😛

I got a finger jab (props to any diabetics out there who have to do that daily cause that sucked!) and my hemoglobin level was juuuuust barely enough to allow me to donate, looks like I should eat things with more iron in them, oh the things you learn. 😉 Then I answered a loooong list of questions. Then I got taken to a private room where a bunch of questions were read out loud to me by a very kind nurse, these were the more sensitive questions, mostly having to do with sex, and STI’s and, well, that’s mostly it…Then I got taken to the refreshment area because I made a mistake in not eating prior to going to my appointment so I had to eat cookies to get my blood sugar levels up before they would take my blood. Maybe the sugar in the cookies makes it tastier? teehee

So oh the horrors I had to eat two Peek Freans Creme Cookies…Mmm cookies!

Peek Freans 2

Oh, I also got a mango juice box. 🙂

Then I got sat in a waiting area where I watched some food cooking show that was mildly interesting but by this point I was thinking about one thing and one thing only…needles! A nurse brought me this…

Aaahhhhh medical stuff!

Aaahhhhh medical stuff!

…medical stuff! Scary looking medical stuff! Don’t give me this stuff, I don’t want to see what my blood will be going in to!

Ok, deep breath, it’s all good… 😉

I basically ignored that pile of stuff and focused completely on the tv screen, that medical stuff no longer existed in my world, my world was a stupid cooking show because I knew the next step would be involving hooking me up to a needle and my fake calm was starting to crack. Yes I am aware I am a wimp.

Jump off a cliff? Sure, no prob! Get jabbed by a needle? Umm, let me go hide in a corner k? *rolls eyes* I’m an embarrassment to humanity, sigh.

After a little while I got taken to a super comfy lounging type chair thing, the friendliest lady cleaned my arm for 30 seconds (for real, she timed it an everything!) then I got stabbed with the biggest needle in the world! What the hell??!?! I’m used to small needles and didn’t even for a moment think the needle used for blood donation would not be a small needle but oh boy, it was nothing even close to the word small. Nope. Nuh-uh. Huuuuge! When it was facing towards me I could see down the inside of it! Who the hell makes a needle so big?! That can’t be normal!

Now, for all that I am scared of needles I have to watch when they are jabbed in to me, so I watched as the worlds largest needle was put in my arm and then left there. Left there! I mean yeah, ok, I knew it was going to stay in my arm, like an IV, but I thought the needle would be the size of an IV needle so this was a little freaky to see. The poor nurse she had to talk me through taking some deep breaths so I wouldn’t have a total freak out lol She did a good job of it too! It helped when she covered the needle with some gauze so I couldn’t see it anymore lol Didn’t stop me from staring transfixed like a cat at a mouse hole on the tubing that had my blood flowing through it…

There it goes...my blood...out of me and in to a bag...

There it goes…my blood…out of me and in to a bag…

Turns out I bleed quickly…which I guess is a good thing to know in case I am ever stabbed, I now know I have less time than others might to stop the flow of blood before I’ll bleed out cause yeah, that blood of mine just hot footed it out of the hole in my arm and filled the bag super fast. Which is probably for the best since about 15 seconds after the needle was in my arm the only thought filling my head was

“oh my god, there is a needle in my arm! get it out! get it out! get it out!”

That basically just kept repeating itself over and over and over until the lady came to take it out, then the screaming voice promptly changed to…

“oh my god she is going to take out the needle! it’s gonna hurt! it’s gonna hurt! it’s gonna hurt!”

And uh yeah, it did hurt, fyi.

After sitting for five minutes pressing down on the gaping hole in my arm so it would clot I got a bulky bandage made of gauze and was taken back to the refreshment area where I got more juice and cookies…a package of mini chocolate chip this time, Mmm!

That bandage is juuuust as uncomfie as it looks, sigh.

That bandage is juuuust as uncomfie as it looks, sigh.

Aaaaand then I spent the rest of the day with a headache, tired but unable to nap, and feeling kind of wobbly…like I had been working out and hit muscle exhaustion, only all I had done was donate blood.

I didn’t realize how much donating a pint of blood would physically affect me, I was told not to work out or do anything physical for 6-8 hours but even by that 8 hour mark I wasn’t up to doing anything, so I didn’t! I sat and watched tv and YouTube and cuddled with the cat (who I swear knew something was up cause he was even more cuddly with me lol) and basically just chilled.

I am not allowed to donate blood again for 56 days, which miiiight just be enough time for me to forget the fear, and the size of the needle, and the horror, and remember only the happiness of the cookies and mango juice…maybe… 😉

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Bad Vampire!

14 May

This past Monday I had to get blood drawn, I would’ve posted about it sooner but my internet has been down, boo for sucky internet connection! 😛

Anyhoo…

needles

So I popped over to the lab that is across the street from where I work and attempted to be all nonchalant about yet another needle poking in to my vein, sigh. I still firmly believe that if people were meant to have needles go in to them we’d all be born with valves in our inner elbow area.

So I sit down, put my arm out, she disinfects the area, tells me how much blood she is taking, stabs the needle in to my arm aaaaaand…nothing.

No blood. Not even a drop.

We are both looking at the vial, watching as it stays empty, I don’t know about her but I was confused and our convo went like this:

Me: Maybe I’m all tapped out.

Her: I’m sorry.

Me: Huh?

Then she takes a firmer grip on the needle and pushes it in super deep.

Me: Ouch!

Her: Sorry I had to hurt you.

I’m pretty sure she wasn’t sorry at all! lol Oh, and get this! Me being the super polite Canadian that I am, I actually said “no worries” about her hurting me and apologized for saying “ouch”. That can’t be normal! lol *rolls eyes*

 

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What I Don’t Like To Hear

27 Jan

Two posts in one day?! Say whaaaa? That’s crazeeee! lol 😛

I went to a new doctor today about my hip (catch up here) and it appears I am going to be dragged in to the world of routine medical care whether I want to or not. *sits and throws tantrum* sigh.

It’s not that I don’t like doctors, although that is what I say cause it is easier than explaining why I avoid them, it is that, unless it’s an actual crisis/emergency/I’m-gonna-die situation I don’t see the point. It seems that so many people go to the doctor for the littlest thing, it’s a waste of the patient’s time, the doctor’s time, our healthcare system *rolls eyes* We have immune systems! We have bodies that most times can heal themselves if you take care of them properly! Stop with the excessive visits to doctors!

phew! Sorry about that little rant…

Anyways!

I had to to the ER the beginning of January because of my hip, because of my mentality towards medical care it is safe to say that if I actually go for help I really need it. The end results of my two ER visits were inconclusive and confusing. If my hip got better on its own I wasn’t to go back, if it stayed the same or got worse I was to go back, all while being on some pills. The pills had nasty side effects so I stopped taking them and over time the pain decreased so I could walk without crutches, then without a limp, then fairly normally. I still have pain but it is a manageable level and I can function daily, which in my world means I don’t need any more medical care.

Apparently I am the only one who thinks that…

A friend of mine kept bugging me to go to a doctor for follow up, when I told her I don’t have a doctor I just go to walk-in clinics when absolutely necessary she got mildly disgusted with me, said there was no reason to not have a family doctor, and gave me the name of her doctor. Then she badgered me daily for over a week to call and get an appointment! Badgered!

I caved, called the doctor and today was my appointment.

Turns out the doc is pretty nice, she sat and chatted with me for quite a while about my hip, about what could be wrong, she can’t diagnose until she sees the X-Ray and CT results from my hospital visits so we arranged for her to get those and she already has me getting another X-Ray next week so she can compare the first one to a more recent one. Ugh. She explained a lot of things in terms a non-doctor can understand and expressed mild disdain for the lack of results I got from the ER docs.

However, she said things I really didn’t want to hear, like:

– we’ll almost definitely be getting you in to see an orthopedic surgeon

– next week get another x-ray of the hip done

– did they take blood at the hospital? if not I’m going to get some blood work done

– they prescribed those meds to you?? that is a really strong dosage! no wonder you had side effects

– let’s go over your family history

– you have a lot of risk factors we’ll want to keep an eye on

– once we’ve dealt with your hip I want to get your cholesterol levels tested and arrange for other exams/tests

– one of the causes of your hip pain is a vein could have been cut off and a part of your hip could be “dying”

– I’ll see you again soon

The woman wants to get me jabbed with needles to test my freakin cholesterol, wtf! It’s fine! Just leave it alone! No need to go digging for problems! Besides that, if people were meant to give blood so often we’d have all be born with valves in our arms, eesh. *flares nose*

The mention of an orthopedic surgeon disturbs me also but I’m trying to ignore that one…

After the appointment was over I was walking back to my suv and passed by a coffee shop I never get to go to anymore cause I’m not in that area often, they have a really yummy tea so I went in to get one and came out with not only the tea but this…

Best cinnamon bun ever!

Best cinnamon bun ever!

They advertise it as “the best cinnamon bun ever” and I gotta say, they could be right. I was going to slack, eat it when I got home, then use it as an excuse to not cook dinner but as my previous post shows I didn’t do that, I made stir fry, so this became dessert. Thing was, after dinner I was so full that for hours I was convinced I wouldn’t be eating the cinnamon bun tonight cause the tummy was full but luckily my stomach’s dessert compartment opened up and that cinnamon bun fit right in lol 🙂

Another thing I got was this…

pretty dreamcatcher

pretty dreamcatcher

I know I know! You aren’t supposed to buy a dreamcatcher for yourself, you are only supposed to get them as gifts or make them for yourself but I have been dreamcatcher-less for a while now and I really needed one. For those who don’t know a dreamcatcher is placed above your bed and during the night bad dreams get caught in the webbing, then when the sun comes up the sun destroys them, thereby ensuring the sleeping person only gets happy dreams. The dreamcatcher I had for years and years (seriously, it was a gift in high school from a friend) became so ragged the leather was breaking and the feathers were coming off so it had to be replaced. Someone I knew bought me a new one and it was lovely but we no longer speak and I wasn’t comfortable having something from them guarding my sleep so I took it down hmm, over a year ago. So all this time I have had nothing guarding my dreams, sadness. I saw this in a window of a shop I passed and I dunno, it felt right, like I was meant to have it, I wasn’t even actively looking for one so it was odd I felt so connected to it. Great, now I sound like a hippie lol I went in and it wasn’t expensive so it became mine and is now hanging over my bed. 🙂 I feel better having it there, especially with words like “orthopedic surgeon” running through my head lol

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I Can’t Believe I Forgot!

20 Feb

So, yeah, I forgot about you…who you? You who read my blog! It’s the weekend, I weigh in on the weekends so I always blog on the weekend to let you know how that went and somehow, by some weird mystery of the universe I forgot! Aaaahhhhhhh! Crazed! 😛

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to blog on Saturday cause of errands, then work and then getting home from work stupid late (even later then I had planned cause the job ran late, so boo cause I was way tired but yah cause extra moola!) but today? Simple quiet Sunday, you’d think I’d have been on the comp way earlier, but no, I actually did stuff today, weirdness. Not fun stuff, lol, just errands and then sorting my closet and cleaning my room – it’s still messy btw, my cleaning only got partly done and I got bored with it, lol, but there I was, contemplating reading for an hour before trying to fall asleep and all of a sudden, bam!, I remembered you! 🙂

Try not to take it too personally, I have a flighty forgetful personality. 😀 😉

Ok, let’s recap Saturday’s big evilness – both of them! The first was the blood test, ugh, they took 4 vials of my blood! FOUR!! Vampires! Grr. Who knows what the results will be or when I will get them, shrug, but at least that is done with. Oh, and you should all be proud of me cause I managed to let the lady draw my blood without me swearing at her or kicking her…you think that’s a joke but I have done both, more then once. What can I say, it’s reflex! I think part of it was cause I warned her in advance my body doesn’t like giving up my blood and my veins are stupid tiny so she used a thinner needle (like kids sized thinner lol) and it was all good. She didn’t have to do that thing where she sticks the needle in then wiggles it around trying to get in the vein or stick me multiple times cause she can’t hit the vein, and she only had to poke the one arm! No trying both arms hoping one will be better then the other (which neither one is better then the other, they are both small veined and resistant to letting blood be taken from them) so really, it was a not so bad experience. 🙂 After that was over I treated myself to Vietnamese food for lunch – my deal with myself was if I didn’t kick or swear I was allowed a treat and that was it. 😀 I tried a new restaurant, it’s near my place and I was really hoping I’d have a new regular spot cause man, I looooove Vietnamese food but alas, not so much. I got the food as take out (I prefer eating at my house) and ordered a dish I have often cause I knew I’d like it (I like doing that with new restaurants, ordering a dish I know what it should be like so I have previous experience to compare the food to) Now, the food was very yummy, beef was super tender, everything tasted really great, but it was expensive! Cost me way more for that dish then in other Vietnamese restaurants I have been in so, sadness, probably won’t go back there again. I s’pose one good thing about the price is for 2 spring rolls it was $8 so I didn’t order them thereby saving me calories lol. Looks like my cheapness has benefits besides saving my bank account from screaming. 😉 😛

Saturday's Lunch, Grilled Beef w/ Vermicelli

So, the even better part of Saturday? My weigh in! Yeah I know, who’d of thunk right? lol. I lost 1 pound! Yah! 😀 😀 😀 Puts me at 28.6 pounds lost total. 😀 Can’t be unhappy with that! lol.

Two great things to celebrate, losing weight and not kicking the lady who took my blood. What an awesome start to a Saturday. lol. My evening job went really great too, lasted an hour and a half longer then planned and I got a tip so woohoo! I will put that cheque in the bank tomorrow, it’ll help make up for the days I missed at my weekday job cause of being sick. Phew!

Let’s see, Sunday…it was one of those days where I woke up and my first real thought was “I’m gonna end up eating over my daily points” Do you ever have those days? What’s weird is I don’t know why I thought that, not like I was hungry, or planning to meet up with someone to eat out, shrug, don’t know, just a feeling I had. Well, I did go over but only by like half a point so that’s not so bad. It was one of those days where I wasn’t hungry, but I wanted to eat, and when I wanted to eat I wanted to eat everything which made it hard to pick what to eat cause for every one item I pick I will have to discard like 4 other options and I was apparently very unable to make food decisions today. Annoying. I ended up eating a croissant breakfast sandwich that I made cause well, the croissant was bought friday evening so it didn’t have many days left of being fresh and no way I could fit a 5 point bread item in to my food plan on a normal day, so there we go, one decision made. lol. I mostly ate bits of this, pieces of that…no realy organization to my food. I thought I was actually gonna end up 2 points under cause I went to clean my room and by the time I stopped I was thinking more about bed then anything else but I was foiled when I came out to the kitchen to get my lunch for tomorrow ready, what can I say, I got around food and my stomach let me know in no uncertain terms it wanted food. lol. Ah well, not like being under in points is good either so I’d rather be a tiny bit over then under by 2 – I’m actually still trying to convince myself of this. lol.

Oh, tip for you, when buying a croissant, the Safeway Bakery is way better then Wal-Mart Bakery. I don’t know why I was so surprised by this, shrug, I guess I thought a croissant is a croissant and how could it be screwed up but nope, Wal-Mart totally managed to make them be nowhere near as good as normal. *rolls eyes* The last 2 croissants I ate (before today) were from Wal-Mart, then todays was from Safeway, yeah, Safeways was totally better and still nice and moist even though I bought it Friday evening…the ones from Wal-Mart go hard and stale by the next morning. Not cool. 😛

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