Alrighty so I’m a tad late with this, what can I say, punctuality is not my strong suit lol To hold myself more accountable for my fitness related actions I have been tracking them on my calendar. Every time I do something fitness related I write it on the calendar and then highlight it in pink. The highlighting is so that at a glance I can see how much or how little I have been doing so far within the month and it will either (1) re-enforce I am doing well and help me to keep going or (2) force me to realize I am slacking and push me to get my butt in gear.
Here is my calendar from the month of April…
Such a slacker! sigh
As you can see, there are huuuuuge gaps where I had lots of days in a row where I did nothing that counts as exercise, sigh. Must. Get. Moving!
It is hard to tell from looking at the picture but some of those days I did two different workouts/activities which helps to make the month not quite as bad as it could be lol
In total, out of the 30 days I exercised 17 times. I am not impressed with myself *rolls eyes* I learned from tracking in the previous month that Fridays through Mondays are my worst days for getting my butt out there and doing something. It is due to my work schedule but I can’t let that keep holding me back, I have got to figure out a way to work around the hours and my laziness.
Tomorrow is Friday, a day I generally don’t exercise because of working but I’m hoping to at least do a workout dvd. I’ll only be able to go to the gym if I go before work since they are closed by the time my shift is over and I’ve shown time and time again I am not good at forcing myself to get up early and head to the gym before work. I go to bed with the best of intentions to get up and go but it doesn’t happen. Sooooo, I’m lowering the bar lol I’m lowering it to getting out of bed and following along with an exercise dvd. It may not be an amazing workout but at least it is something, and something is better than nothing, right? Right! I figure I’ll work up to getting my butt to the gym before work…
Sigh, spending any part of my day at the doctor’s office is not how I want to spend my time. I am very anti-doctor. Not for everyone, I don’t mean I shun Western medicine or anything, just that I personally don’t like doctors and would much rather let my body fix itself when it gets sick or injured. I have an immune system right? Might as well let it earn it’s keep! lol
Having said that I have been seeing a lot of doctors since January, ugh, I’m so done with this, and yet, I am not, sigh. Mentally I am done, physically I have to keep going. *rolls eyes* It’s annoying.
Last week I had an appointment with a specialist I am seeing in regards to my hip, if you want a refresher on that lovely little story click here.
As a result of that appointment I now have to go to physio, sigh, and get an MRI, double sigh. Then my normal family doc calls me, well her receptionist called me lol, to set up an appointment. I guess the specialist had sent over to her the results of the most recent tests he had sent me for so my family doc wanted me to come in so she could talk to me about it.
I saw the family doctor today, she told me what the test results were and what they mean, then she made a comment about what activities I do. Now, I tend to downplay what I have been up to with these doctors cause I don’t want to be told to not do something but I figured since the BMO Run was already over I might as well make a comment about it, not like she can tell me to not do something when it’s in the past right? 😉 lol I mentioned I did the 8km run last Sunday and then went to compete in a dragon boat race and her reaction was “So you’re fit”. Um, what? Obviously from looking at me you can tell I am not fit, eesh. So I commented back something along the lines of “you’d think but doesn’t matter what I do I can’t lose this fat”.
That comment actually got her attention, the rest of the convo went something like this:
Doc: You haven’t lost any weight?
Me: Nope.
Doc: Not even from the run? You didn’t lose any weight from running? Or dragon boat racing?
Me: Nothing. Trust me, I’m trying.
Doc: Have I had your thyroid tested? (she looked at my file) I haven’t had it tested…I’m getting it tested. If you are this active and you aren’t losing any weight you might have a thyroid problem.
Me: Um, ok?
So here is where I am at. I try to shun doctors and all their tests. Buuuuuuut if this blood work shows something wrong with my thyroid she might prescribe some form of treatment or pills that will help fix the thyroid and have a happy result of me losing weight and how awesome would that be?? I am now wondering just how twisted I must be to be sorta hoping I have a thyroid problem…fairly twisted? Or just sorta twisted? Maybe just desperate…not that that sounds any better…
I know to a lot of people running an 8km is nothing, it isn’t even long enough to count as their training but to me 8km is a huuuuuge accomplishment. I’ve never run that far and today I did. Today was a good day lol
The race didn’t start till 9:30am which means I got to sleep in later then if I had gone to work, yay for sleeping in! lol I had to be downtown by 8:30am at the absolute latest in order to catch the shuttle bus that would take me to the start area, I decided to get there for 8am just to play it safe, I was highly paranoid about missing the shuttle and not being able to get to the start area in time and not running, that would have sucked. Luckily that didn’t happen.
So I got downtown, checked my backpack, boarded a school bus (um, when did the leg room in those seats become sooooooo small? I barely fit!), got shuttled to the starting area and then proceeded to try to find shelter cause oh yeah, I forgot to mention, pouring rain! Brr! It was a funny sight, all these groups of people wearing running outfits huddled under huge trees trying to stay warm, limber and dry. I went under a tree for the length of time it took to write a text, I was trying to keep my phone dry-ish, after that I decided screw this I don’t want to huddle under a tree like cattle *rolls eyes*, so I wandered a bit. From where we were waiting we could see the half-marathoners go by so I went by the sidelines for a bit to cheer them on, I was encouraged by their speed. I’d had the horrible thought that I’d be the absolute slowest person out there and be passed by and left in the dust but the majority of them seemed to be running at a speed I felt I could maintain for quite a while, phew! One less thing to be freaking out about!
While standing around waiting I randomly started talking with a really nice lady named Kristi, she is from Manitoba and came here specifically for this run. Crazy huh? We chatted, she is one of those super friendly people that you just instantly get along with. Without even planning it we started running together, I thought she’d leave me behind super quick cause she has been training for this unlike I who kept intending to train and didn’t, oops! 😉 But she didn’t, we stuck together for 3-4km? I can’t quite remember the distance…the only reason we split up was she stopped to use the bathroom and I kept going. Now that I think about it maybe I should have waited, that would have been the polite thing to do…but before I could suggest waiting she waved me on and said she’d see me at the finish line as she headed off course to the washroom so I just kept going. I kept an eye out for her the rest of the run, I was absolutely convinced she’d catch up with me but I didn’t see her, and trust me I would have, she was wearing a very bright orange jacket.
At the same spot I left her there was a water station, I was one of those people grabbing a little cup of water while running by, how weird is that? I’ve only ever seen that on tv before lol Anyways, it turns out it wasn’t water, it was some sort of, I dunno, sickly sweet something, gack. It was nasty and made me thirstier then I was before I drank it. Not cool. This all happened right before a hill and about halfway up the hill I am sad to say I started to walk, I was super thirsty, had a sickly sweet taste in my mouth and I haaaaate hills. Looking back I wish I had managed to run that hill, I had run all the previous ones, because walking that hill somehow gave me permission to walk all the other hills if I felt like it, sigh. I know at the time I felt like I had to walk it, a quick walk granted but still a walk but I wish I’d pushed myself a bit harder, seen just how much more I could have done. Running is a mental game after all.
There were volunteers along the route cheering the runners on, for the most part I didn’t notice them much but there was this one group of 4 teenage boys who were holding up signs with quotes and cheering. One had a sign that was a quote from Gandalf (from Lord of the Rings) but this other sign really helped me. It said:
The voice in your head that says you can’t do it is a liar.
I know that quote, I’ve heard that quote, hell, we’ve all heard that quote or a variation on it but the timing of that sign, held by that stranger really helped me. It helped me to speed up, to run a little longer, and every time after that I wanted to stop I repeated to myself “the voice is a liar, the voice is a liar, you can do this!”
Yeah I know, I’m crazy lol 😛
I have multiple official times because of how they released the 8km runners on to the course, we were merging with the half marathoners who were already running, because of that our official start line was farther back which meant we started running before we actually go on to the race course. So, we crossed over two mats that registered our running chip at the beginning and then crossed over two at the end. This gave us our time for the actual distance of 8km as well as the time for the real distance we ran. My results are:
(heads up, don’t expect to be impressed or anything lol)
I did the 8km in 1:03:09
The goal I set for myself was 1:10:00 so I am very glad I beat my goal, screw glad, I am kinda proud. 🙂
But, to keep this in perspective, the fastest runner of the 8km was a guy from Victoria BC who did it in 28:20! Eesh! The average for the 1858 participants was 56:06 which means I was 7mins slower than average which, considering my lack of training and the fact that I am not a runner doesn’t seem that bad…to me lol
what my Runtastic App tracked
Every single persons name gets called as they cross the finish line, which I thought was awesome, made me feel special lol
front and back of my medal, there is a spot in the back that will get a chip inserted in to it that shows my time
As soon as you cross the finish line there are volunteers urging you to keep moving, they are thrusting water and juice boxes in to your hands, you get given a medal, then food, lots of food! A banana, some yogurt, this lunch box thing that had all kinds of yummy treats inside (all healthy) and because it’s how we roll here everything was recyclable or compostable. 🙂 I heard some people from the States commenting saying how you know you’re in Canada when not only do the garbage containers have multiple slots for all different types of recycling and composting but there is a volunteer at the garbage can to make sure you throw stuff in the right slot lol I guess I am so used to that I didn’t stop to think it might look weird to someone not from here. 😛
I then had to rush to get my bag from the bag check area, snag a cab and get to the dragon boat regatta my team was competing in today. They knew I’d be late for the races but that I’d do my best to get there as soon as I could. I missed the first two heats but got to race in the third. 🙂 They were all so happy when I showed up, all proud of my medal and asking questions about how it went. I’m so lucky to have a team that supported my doing the run rather than be mad I was going to miss part of the regatta.
We had a good third race and I heard from the team the first two races went really well also. 🙂
Then we all went for food, which fyi, from the time the race was over until about 7pm I have felt like a bottomless pit lol I started the day off with a protein packed healthy breakfast and for the most part have eaten fairly healthy throughout the day, each time I ate it was a meal with protein to try to help my poor body get over what I put it through lol
All in all I am feeling great! A bit of muscle pain in the calves and thighs, my knees are kinda sore, but nowhere near as bad as it could be. It may have been a rainy day, and I may have spent it soaked to the skin from about 9am till 1pm but it was an awesome day and I’m so glad I decided to run the 8km! Who knows, maybe I’ll run a longer race next time!…wait, next time?? What the hell am I talking about?! I’m not a runner! lol 😉
Sidenote: I apologize for the lack of pictures but I was so busy enjoying the day I didn’t think to pull out my phone and snap pics of things as I went through the day, I know I know, bad blogger! 😛 There were official pics taken but I haven’t received a link yet to see them, once I do I’ll post one so you can see how much of a drowned rat I looked like lol
I got up distressingly early (for me lol), met with a friend, went for a walk, went home, cleaned up, ate, ran errands, saw the doc aaaaaand went to pick up my race kit for this Sunday! OMG sooooo excited! Freaked out but excited lol 😛
I thought the process of picking up my race kit would be as quick as me walking up to a desk, showing my ID, giving my bib number and being handed a bunch of stuff. Easy peasy. Well, what really happened was easy but as far from what I imagined as possible!
The line was huge, and slow moving, ugh. While waiting in line I was trying to figure out what was going on because there were these blue fabric “walls” that had been put up so I couldn’t see past the front initial sign-in area but I could hear all kinds of stuff and was oh-so-curious.
At the first stop I got given a blue bag filled with all sorts of goodies. Some magazines, a newspaper that is exclusively about the run, coupons, a t-shirt and most importantly my race bib! Eeeeeek! I want to post a pic of it but it is recommended people don’t put pictures of their bibs online until after the run because I guess people steal bib numbers that get posted online, rude!
magazines, coupons, newspaper…these were all in my blue tote bag
Yay for stuff!
Then I was let loose in to a large area filled with booths. They were giving away stuff, had games to play, draws to enter, all kinds of merchandise to buy, oh and samples, don’t forget the edible samples! Mmm!
I nibbled and sipped my way through various energy bars, protein bars, energy jelly drops, protein drinks and greek yogurt. Yeah, I know the yogurt doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest but it was tasty and has protein in it and I got a coupon so yay! lol
I checked out the clothes, there were all kinds of things labelled with the name of the run, similar to when I compete in a dragon boat festival and you can buy a tshirt with the festival name on it. I opted to not buy anything with the run name on it, didn’t really see the point, I’ll have a medal to remember the run with so who needs an overpriced shirt? I did however buy some on sale socks that promise no chaffing and a baseball cap. I’ve been meaning to buy a baseball cap for weeks now, I have one but it doesn’t have that hole in the back for my ponytail which until now hasn’t been a big deal but the weather is getting hot and when I wear my hair in a braid or a low ponytail to accommodate the cap with no hole my hair is smooshed against my neck, which gets sweaty, and ugh, so annoying. I know I know, I’m a whiny brat. 😛
Oddly enough, besides the bib my favourite thing that I got today was the shaker cup I won. It is in the second picture up there. I spun a wheel and the arrow fell on it and it became miiiiiine lol I already have one, from Popeye’s but I’ve been wanting a second one, just not willing to buy a second one so this worked out nicely.
The weirdest thing I received was the rice, someone put a package of it in to my hands along with a coupon. I thought about giving it back (since I don’t eat rice) but then realized I am poor and shouldn’t put my nose up at free food lol
The most useful thing I received was the bus ticket. They try to encourage using public transit so if you want one you can get a ticket for the bus, well, duh, of course I want one, it’ll save me $4! lol I will be busing downtown to a meeting point, putting my bag in to bag check, getting a free shuttle to the start line and then being corralled like cattle until being let loose on the run route.
So there we have it, after the fun of getting my race kit I went to dragon boat practice, had a blast, and am now home thinking happy sleepy thoughts about bed *yawn*
Do not watch the above video if swearing offends you!
I have, hmm, 4 distinct clothing styles right now, I’d love to have more but can’t afford to, shrug. I’ve noticed that each clothing style corresponds with a noticeable change in how I act, in how my personality shines through lol 😛
Something I learned in film school is that we use our clothing choices like armour, what we wear shows the world who we are, and that in turn dictates how people treat us and to some degree how we treat others. Obviously there are many other factors at play but I’m focusing on clothing and your “look” only (by “look” I mean hairstyle, makeup, accessories etc).
Over the years your different looks will change as you figure out who you are, so you might go grunge for a while, goth, alternative, punk, bling, hipster or any of the other varied options, they are all valid choices and they will all help you to express who you feel you are inside.
But what happens when the clothing starts to define you and your actions to such a degree the “look” stops being something that you choose so you can show off a part of your personality and instead dictates to you what part of your personality you will show?
I like to wear black, a lot of black, with leather wrist bands that are studded with metal, I like thick chains for my necklaces, I like to accessorize with skulls and crossbones, I like dark eye makeup and pale skin, I like buckles on my black leather boots and if I could afford it I’d own a motorcycle. This is how I always want to look, but I can’t always look like that because I have a life that has varied interests and activities, shrug. So this version of me doesn’t get to come out nearly as often as it used to. When it did though, I was bad ass, I could handle anything, I could confront anybody about any topic, I could hold my ground, I could fight if needed, I could stare down a person so they’d not even approach me, I felt like I had power, like I was different enough from the norm I stood out and was very clearly not a sheep. Or at least all of that is how my look made me feel.
But what about when I work out? Obviously I’m not going to dress like that!
So, when I go hiking, or to dragon boat practice, or running, or to the gym, or walking with friends, or bike riding or any of the other sporty activities that I do I dress differently. I wear yoga pants, and runners, and sports bras, and a t-shirt that is meant to get sweaty, and my hair is pulled back, I have little to no make up on, maybe I’ve thrown a baseball cap on my head, I’m as far away from the girl in black as I can be. When I dress like this I act differently then the girl in black does. I’m friendly, I am competitive, I don’t care if I’m sweaty cause I’m working out, I’m all about getting out there, doing stuff, finding the next activity, enjoying the fresh air.
But what about when I am chillin at home?
At home I’m all about comfort, I’m all for the over sized sweat pants and t-shirts, usually with an over sized hoodie thrown over top for good measure. I wear thick comfy socks, my hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and my bangs are clipped back with barrettes cause I don’t want to be annoyed by them. You can’t tell what shape I am because my clothes make me look like a lump, I may or may not have makeup on. When I’m dressed like this I am lazy, I’m tired, I want to be left alone to watch tv, or read a book, or go online, I’m anti-social and I like it that way. I don’t care about what I’m doing tomorrow, hell, I’m not thinking past the next half hour, I’m a hermit who doesn’t like being outside.
Hey now, you hafta pay rent somehow! What about when I’m at work?
Work is where I am farthest from myself, if anyone ever questions my acting ability they should come see me at work, acting at its finest! I wear business casual clothes, stressing the casual part of that! In summer I wear a lot of dresses, they are easy outfits and the residents like them – they are of a generation where women wore dresses and skirts more often, shrug, I’ve found my being in dresses and skirts makes them feel more comfortable…that and the guys like looking at my legs lol. I’m wearing patterns, and florals *shudder*, cute ballet style shoes with bows on them, my hair is loose and straight, my makeup is light and natural. I smile a lot, laugh a lot, am super cheerful and helpful and patient. I have time for everyone and make sure everyone I deal with feels they have my undivided attention when I am speaking with them. I fix various things, and explain and re-explain the answers to the same tech questions weekly, I am quick moving and sweet and have been emotionally adopted by every resident in there to the point that it sometimes feels like I have 79 grandparents. I am empathetic, sympathetic and if there is an emergency I run like the wind and take care of the resident in need right up to the point the paramedics get there and take over. I nurse wounds, provide a hand to hold when someone is in pain, am that familiar reassuring face, somehow I make them feel protected.
Oh I lied, I have a fifth look, my out with friends look.
It is a toned down version of the girl in black. Same black leather boots with buckles, same tendency to wear black, and skulls, and black leather wrist bands with spikes, but toned down a bit. So, if I wear the wrist band, I’ll leave the chunky chain jewellery at home. It’s a way to feel a bit like myself while not going overboard and freaking my friends out, shrug.
So, with each of these outfit styles how I feel about myself and how I interact with the world changes. Some things remain no matter the look I wear, I will always stand up for myself, get easily irritated and have a snappy sarcastic comeback (shrug, sarcasm is in my blood lol) but other reactions are different, depending on the look. For example, today I was hiking and passed a guy with two pit bulls, I made a comment about him having beautiful dogs, he thanked me, we smiled as we went our separate ways. Not a big deal. Had I crossed paths with him on a sidewalk and I was dressed in my black/skull/leather combo I might have glanced at the dogs and admired them but wouldn’t have said anything. Why? Because in that look I am more anti-social, shrug.
When do our various looks stop showing off who we are and start restricting us? Start defining us more than we define the look? There is nothing stopping me from being anti-social when I’m dressed in my athletic clothes, and yet I am friendly when dressed like that, competitive, but friendly. Just like I am not friendly when dressed in black and skulls. I’m the same person, with the same likes, dis-likes, hopes, dreams, pet peeves but I don’t act like it…or maybe it’s that the really important parts of my personality act the same no matter the outfit (like sticking up for myself) but the less cemented parts shift as the look changes? When I get dressed I feel like I am putting on a character and while in that outfit I stay that character, maybe that’s an actor thing? or a me thing?
The Amazing Shrinking Woman 