Archive | November, 2014

A Cupcake Candle Experience

23 Nov

I saw a youtube diy video about how to make a cupcake candle. I am attempting to make candles for Christmas presents this year and have been watching a lot of tutorials lol This tutorial is for a birthday type candle and I thought it’d be perfect to make and give to a friend of mine whose birthday was last week. The tutorial made it seem really easy but it didn’t quite work out the same for me as it did for the girl in the video…

Here is the video, see how easy it seems?

Lemme explain to you how my experience differed from the video…

(1) She says to use craft glue, or a glue gun to attach the wick to the bottom of the jar, I don’t own a glue gun so I went out and bought craft glue, sorta. See, every bottle of craft glue explicitly said “flammable” and “do not use near fire” so um, hmm, how exactly am I supposed to use any of these types of glues in a candle? I ended up buying Crazy Glue but no matter how hard I tried the glue wouldn’t bond the bottom of the wick to the jar, all it did was get on my finger and make my finger feel all weird for a couple of days – that’s how long it took me to get it off lol πŸ˜›

(2) She uses Glucose Syrup to coat the inside of the jar so the sprinkles will stick. She says Corn Syrup is the same thing and since I couldn’t find Glucose Syrup anywhere I bought Corn Syrup. I don’t think it works quite the same lol. She uses an unknown ratio of water to syrup to coat the inside of the jar, I attempted to get the corn syrup to the same consistency but am not really sure if I did. After I mixed some syrup and water together I pulled out my brand new silicone brush (like what she used) to brush the inside of the jar, only, I used a smaller jar and the head of the brush wouldn’t fit in the jar, oops! Instead, I spooned some of the mixture in then rotated the jar around until I could see that the sides were coated.

(3) She pours sprinkles into the jar and they effortlessly and evenly coat the inside of the jar. I poured sprinkles inside the jar and they haphazardly stuck in clumps. Whats up with that? I did the only logical thing and poured more sprinkles in to the jar, which of course meant they stuck in bigger clumps lol So I used a spoon and tried spreading them around a bit and smooshing them in to the syrup to get them to stay put. It kind of worked…

(4) She melted her soy wax until she thought it was the correct consistency. The package of paraffin wax I had specifically said what temperature to melt the wax to so I opted to follow the package’s directions. The package also said what temperature the wax should be when adding the scent and dye. I wasn’t adding dye, I wanted the wax white to better show off the sprinkles. As for the scent, she used scented wax cubes but I was using an essential oil. But hey, scent is scent, right? I couldn’t find any birthday cake scents so I used the only one I owned, Sweet Pea, which yes, I know, makes no sense in a birthday cupcake candle but it’s what I had and scents are expensive and I couldn’t afford to buy another one…sigh…

(5) Something else that was different, but this my fault, she keeps her water at a much lower temperature than I did, my water ended up coming to a boil which lemme tell ya, created quite a mess! I did however copy her technique and put my large pyrex glass measuring cup in a pot, hooked on to the edge like she did, which was brilliant and something I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. I don’t own a double boiler but this trick worked great. πŸ™‚

(6) Because the wick wouldn’t attach to the jar with the glue I took a trick I saw in a different video where you pour a small amount of melted wax in the jar, then hold the wick in place until the wax hardens, boom! Wick is in place! Once the small amount of wax hardened I used the trick I’ve seen in pretty much every candle tutorial and wrapped the loose end of the wick around a chopstick and rested the chopstick on top of the jar, this holds the wick straight so when you pour the rest of the wax in the wick doesn’t get all crooked.

(7) At this point she (and I) poured the wax in to the jar, trying hard to pour in to the middle of the jar so as not to dislodge the sprinkles. She poured all her wax in at once, let it harden, and had a perfect candle. I opted to play the safe route and save a bit of the wax as recommended in other tutorials in case there was a dent. Apparently when a candle hardens sometimes a little dent appears on the top so you save a bit of wax to fill in the dent. My candle was perfect, no dent, but I didn’t know what to do with the extra wax so I re-melted it and poured it in to the jar, kind of topping it up so to speak. Well go figure, when that last little bit hardened it had a dent! I of course had no more wax to fill in the dent sooooo the candle ended up with a dent, oops!

After my candle hardened, which I was sooooo impatient for it to do lol I took a close look at it and realized one thing…I am not good at making candles! lol πŸ˜› Not only was there a dent in the top, but the sprinkles were still uneven and you could see a glisteney type substance (the syrup) if you looked hard at the side of the jar, I guess this means I used too much syrup? I’m not really sure…

Try not to laugh too hard when you look at how it turned out…

Look at that dent!

Look at that dent!

You can see the glisten of the corn syrup, you aren't supposed to see that...

You can see the glisten of the corn syrup, you aren’t supposed to see that…

Here you can see how the sprinkles are in no way evenly placed along the side of the jar, and some melted while others didn't!

Here you can see how the sprinkles are in no way evenly placed along the side of the jar, and some melted while others didn’t!

So that was my first attempt at making a candle. I felt really bad giving it to my friend for her birthday considering how it turned out but I was so sure I’d be awesome at this I didn’t have a back-up plan lol. Luckily, my friend is awesome and seemed happy with the candle. πŸ™‚ …course, she could have just been saying that…nah, I’m gonna pretend she liked it, makes me feel better about the whole thing lol

Something I learned from the experience? Use kitchen tools that you don’t normally use for cooking! Why? Because I still have wax on the tools I used when making that candle and I made it this past Wednesday! Wax on the inside of my soup pot, wax on the knife, corn syrup on the silicone brush, wax on the cutting board and in the pyrex measuring cup…no matter what I do there always seems to be a bit more wax that I missed *rolls eyes* Eventually I’ll get it all off (hopefully!) and next time I make a candle I’ll use knives etc I buy from the dollar store lol πŸ˜›

*The Youtube name for the person who made the video I used as my inspiration is Carstina DIY Beauty*


A Happy Day

21 Nov

Ever have one of those days that you look forward to, and fully enjoy and when it is over you wish you had someone to thank for allowing you to have such an awesome day?


That was my Thursday and I’m still smiling when I think about yesterday. πŸ™‚

It’s not one big amazing thing that happened, and to be honest, when I tell you what my day was like you’ll probably roll your eyes and think I’m being silly, but for me, it was such a great day that I wish I could relive it over and over again lol

So what was my day like yesterday? Here’s how it went down…

First, I got to sleep in a bit, not so much my day disappeared but late enough I didn’t feel I was dragging myself out of bed early and not getting enough sleep. Hey, sleeping in is a good thing in my book! πŸ˜›


Then I went to an audition for a tv show, I found free street parking, score! The auditions were running a bit late so I had extra time to kill in the waiting area, I like not being rushed before an audition, shrug. The audition itself went really well. It’s always hard to say how an audition went but I had a good feeling when it was done which put a happy little bounce in my step – literally, a happy bounce was in my step lol yes, apparently I am that person! πŸ˜›


After the audition I had an appointment with a debt counselor person, I’m trying to get a better handle on my debt (duh!) and thought some advice might help, it for sure couldn’t hurt! I found more free street parking, had enough time to get a bite to eat (thankfully! cause I was sooooo hungry at that point, oh poor empty tummy!). The only place nearby that I could get a quick bite was Starbucks so I grabbed a half-sweet peppermint hot chocolate made with skim milk, no whipped cream, no chocolate sprinkles (I know it sounds really boring but I like it and using skim milk and saying no to the toppings saves me calories), I also got the oatmeal, which was perfect on the rainy kinda chilly day that Thursday was. I made my appointment on time, had a super nice lady helping me, learned a lot about what I am doing right (which was shocking cause I thought I was doing nothing right lol), I also got told some options I have to help me get out of debt faster and left with some hope, some print outs and some names of people I can speak to for further advice if I so choose to contact them.


I had some quick downtime at this point so I went home, made some tea and toast, cuddled with the cat, packed a bag and went to set because I was filming my final scene in a short film that is going to be entered in to a couple of film festivals!

I had a great time on set! Filming went really well, nice n smooth, didn’t have to do a ridiculous amount of takes to get it right, it was like it was meant to be lol πŸ™‚


After filming was done I headed over to my friend’s place, it was her birthday this week and Thursday evening was our evening to get together and celebrate, yay!

We both are hooked on the Hunger Games movies so I bought (in advance cause wow tickets were selling out fast!) tickets for us to the VIP theatre to see the third installment of the movie, Mockingjay Part 1. Have you ever been in one of those VIP theatres? Niiiice! Food on par with a restaurant, being served in a snazzy bar/restaurant or right at your seat. Every seat has a table, the chairs are large, and recline a bit, and are leather, and omg there is leg room! As in actual leg room, enough for tall people! No sitting with my legs at an angle so my knees don’t hit the chair in front of me, nope, lots of leg room, I stretched out my legs, stretched! Oh, and even better is the theatre is 19+ so no kids, and if I so choose it, alcohol. All in all, best movie theatre ever and totally worth the extra money to go there. πŸ™‚

look at that leg room!

look at that leg room!

To round it all off, on the drive back to my friend’s place to drop her off, she played for me a song she wrote and recorded a couple of years ago and wow. Wow! Her voice is amazing, and the song was beautiful and I felt lucky that she chose to let me hear her song.

So yeah, that was my day. Since you’re probably wondering why I think it was so amazing lemme break it down for you, I had a ratio of acting and non acting activities that was equal. I had an audition and I was filming yesterday! Any day where I get to do something acting related is a good day, but having both filming and an audition happening and then other things tucked around that were positive well, tickle me pink cause that makes for a happy day in my corner of the world, lol. πŸ™‚

A Bonus To Being An Adult

20 Nov

We’ve all seen memes like this:

Colouring Fort

There are definitely days where I feel like that meme is sooooo true lol

However, there are some bonus points that come with being a grown independent adult and one of them is this:

When I buy a bag of mixed frozen veggies and there is one veggie in the mix that I don’t like, when I cook those veggies to go with my dinner, I can refuse to eat the veggies I don’t like and I don’t get in trouble for it! Ha! πŸ˜›

2014-11-19 19.17.15Take that all you six year olds! You may get to play way more than I do and have way less stress but I don’t get stuck sitting at the dining table for hours because I refused to eat a gross veg, nor was I denied desert! Boom! Score one point to adulthood! πŸ˜€ lol


That Conversation

12 Nov

Let’s back track a little bit and return to Monday when I was at work.

I was in an elevator with a fellow staff member, one I am on friendly terms with but am not actual friends with, our jobs rarely intersect and really, once I’ve buzzed her in to the building and given her the cleaning schedule (she’s one of the housekeepers) I don’t see her again.

So there we were, waiting for an elevator, then getting in to the elevator and this is the conversation that happened…

Her: Are you pregnant?

Me: No (insert awkward fake laugh)…I’m just fat…?

Her: Oh…yeah, cause when I started here you were quite slim.

Me: …Yeeeeah…okaaay…


Luckily the elevator got to my floor right then and I could leave the unpleasantness of that conversation behind.

Only, I haven’t left it behind, it’s been bouncing around in my head ever since.

A bit later that morning I was chatting with two of my work friends and told them about the conversation, they kinda chuckled, not out right laughing but not shocked horror at the comment, they were somewhere in the middle. After a minute of talking about it then they started to get, hmm, not outraged or anything but making comments saying she is wrong and off base and of course I don’t look pregnant, or even fat.

I think they thought the comments didn’t affect me so they were laughing them off…their reaction had me even more internally freaked out though because what if I do look that big? I didn’t think I did, and I certainly don’t have the shape of a pregnant lady, but maybe what I see in the mirror isn’t what other people see when they look at me?

I immediately started making promises to myself, (1) never wearing these pants again (2) not eating for the rest of the day (3) going for a long run no matter the weather after work…stupid promises that were only made in response to my self-esteem plummeting. Of course I’ll wear the pants again, I can’t afford to buy new ones. Of course I ended up eating later that day, this conversation happened around 9am, there was a lot of day left. Of course I didn’t go running after work, it’s freakin cold outside and I already had plans.

Part of me was mad that she said that but mostly I felt ashamed, and unworthy and a failure. Like I deserved to be verbally slapped in my face because I’ve gained weight and that somehow makes it acceptable to be attacked with mean words. I don’t understand my emotional response, not fully, but I do know in that elevator I had no response to what was said to me, I was so shocked, so horrified at what had just been said about me to me, and secretly feeling that she might be right.

How can I defend myself against mean words when those words resonate within me as possible truth?

Later that day one of the two friends I had told about the conversation and I were talking and I asked her, in all seriousness, do I look pregnant? Do I look that fat? She, in all seriousness, said no, of course I don’t, and don’t let what was said bother me because it is completely wrong, I’m slim, don’t look anything close to pregnant, and the other lady doesn’t know what she is talking about.

I think we can all agree she said the right things, but somehow they didn’t make me feel any better.

At lunchtime I had to force myself to eat. When I get upset I tend to lose my appetite, in a middle of a meal that I am really enjoying if something happens to deeply upset me I completely lose my appetite and it can be gone for days, it’s weird. So, at lunch time I had no appetite, not only was I not hungry but I was scared to eat, worried about how eating was going to make me bigger and I kept thinking about how I should cut out more calories. Even though I actually under eat most days and am actively trying to eat a bit more on a daily basis to help fix my metabolism (it’s a reverse dieting thing that I keep meaning to write about, and will eventually lol). Intellectually I knew I had to eat, even though I didn’t want to. I didn’t want what was said to derail me from trying to fix my metabolism and skipping lunch would put me one step closer to reverting back to old eating habits and losing all the progress I had made over the past month or so.

I ate lunch. And as weird as this will sound, was half proud I ate and half worried she would walk in and see me eating and judge me even more than she apparently already is. I don’t even know this lady all that well and I was worried she might see me eating my salad and judge me?? What’s with that?! *rolls eyes*

Later in the day I was talking to a friend of mine who is a personal trainer and told her about the conversation. I told it as a funny “you’ll never guess what convo I had today” joke kind of thing, as if I am all light hearted about it and un-affected. She saw right through me and immediately went on the defensive, as in, defensive of me! She got so angry that someone would say something like that to me, she didn’t offer me platitudes about “of course you don’t look like that”, you know, the patting me on the head sort of thing, instead she spoke about how crappy it is that our society has bred people that think it is ok to take out their unhappiness on others by saying hurtful things. After she wound down a bit she even gave me a hug and said to not let what was said get to me.

That night when I checked my email she had even sent me an email with deeper thoughts about what had happened.

Her response, although meant in the best way, is almost overwhelming for me, like, I don’t deserve someone to be that upset on my behalf and I find myself wanting to tell her it’s ok and to calm down and not to worry but maybe she knows me better than I realized because I’m not ok, or calm or un-worried about what happened and her being so upset has given me permission to be upset about what was said.

And now I’m just rambling, and don’t really have a point to make. I don’t know if the lady who said that to me is unhappy and trying to bring me down cause she’s hurting (as the personal trainer friend suggested), or rude, or mean, or ignorant of social norms, or thought what she said was perfectly ok and isn’t giving it a second thought. Unlike me who has given it a second, third, fourth…fifty-fourth thought…All I know is what she said hurt, and has sucked me down in to a vortex of self-doubt, and body shaming, and embarrassment and now, not only am I working to get in better shape I am also working to get my brain to stop thinking about what she said cause dwelling on that convo will do nothing good for me.



Haters are just gonna hate I guess.

Nutella & Go

8 Nov

Sometimes it’s the little things that make ya smile. πŸ™‚

I was grocery shopping after work this evening and came across these little gems…



Yes I bought four, try not to judge me too loudly k? πŸ˜›

I loooooove Nutella but I never buy it because hello? Having an entire jar of the stuff in my kitchen cupboard is one thing and one thing only…dangerous! But these, these are the perfect size! Just the right amount of Nutella to placate a chocolate craving but not so much you feel overly sugared. πŸ™‚

My excuse er, reason, for buying four of these little gems is because they were on sale. They are new, and new stuff always goes on sale, yay! I figured I might as well buy multiples of them now before they are priced at whatever their real price will be and I feel they cost too much lol It’ll be the whole Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwich fiasco all over again! Man, those suckers were on sale for the longest time then boom! put up to their full price and they instantly became something I wouldn’t buy cause of being too costly.

Yes, I know I am cheap, try not to judge me too loudly for that either, k? πŸ˜‰

Exercise Interuptus

7 Nov

I’ve been working out to the Jillian Michaels Ripped In 30 dvd lately, yes I know I attempted it before and failed miserably but I figured why not try again? πŸ™‚

Why oh why haven't I seriously started this yet??

Attempt Number 2!

I really did plan to follow the dvd the way it is set up – there are four different workouts, labelled Week 1, Week 2, Week 3 and Week 4. You are supposed to work out 6 days a week and you progress through the workouts until you’ve been working out for a month and are, apparently, ripped.

Being the doubting type of person that I am, I don’t believe I would ever be ripped in 30 days, even if I followed the work out plan and meal plan religiously. That just isn’t possible lol I was hopeful for being in better shape than when I started though. Small goals my friends, small goals! lol

So day 4 of week 1 and wouldn’t ya know it, I was injured. Lovely. *rolls eyes* I hurt my shoulder which was seriously impeding normal day to day activities let alone push-ups, planks and free weight work. I had to take a break from the dvd and baby the shoulder for a bit. After about 4 days of babying I went back to the dvd and gave it a try, using lower weights than previously. The shoulder seemed ok so I kept going. Well, sort of, sigh.

Life got in the way, as it has a tendency to do and I missed a day, then a couple days later I missed another day, all in all, it took me two and a bit weeks to finish Week 1 of the dvd workouts lol I’m pretty sure that would get me a severe tongue lashing from Jillian if she were to find out, good thing she doesn’t know I exist! πŸ˜‰

Yesterday I decided screw this, I’m bored with the workout for Week 1, I wanna graduate to Week 2, I can do this! *insert battle cry here*

On to Week 2!

Um, wow, I’m so not ready for Week 2 lol Some of the moves I can’t do due to severe lack of coordination. Oh geez was it bad, as in totally horribly bad, there is this move that I was so off with I’m pretty sure I got no exercise benefit from it at all! You start standing with your legs together, arms at your side holding dumbbells. You lunge forward and as you land in the lunge position you do a bicep curl, then the leg that is forward swings backwards, not back to standing position but behind you to another lunge, during the movement your arms go back down to your side then as you land in the lunge position your arms do another bicep curl. It confused my brain and my body lol I kept curling at the wrong time *rolls eyes*

There were other moves that I had to do the modified version of because of either confusion, inability or exhaustion. πŸ˜› Jillian would be so disappointed, sigh.


About halfway through the workout my phone rang, which never happens, I communicate almost exclusively via text or email…or facebook…So the phone ringing is a rare enough thing I took a look at the screen and it was an uber important person (my agent) so of course I answered. He actually had to ask for me because I was panting when I answered and didn’t sound like myself lol He was calling for an uber important thing (an audition) so totally worth the pausing of the dvd. We chatted for a while then I had to decide, start the workout back at the beginning because even though I kept walking the entire time I was on the phone my body had completely cooled down, or start where I paused it and basically force my body to leap back in to the high intensity part of the workout.

I opted for hitting play and continuing where I left off, mostly due to the horror I felt at the idea of repeating what I had just done. Nope. Nuh-uh. Wasn’t happening!

At the end of the workout I felt like I’d cheated a bit, since I’d had that break, but figured I’d make up for it the next day (which, fyi, totally didn’t, oops! πŸ˜‰ )

I have bad luck with this dvd, first my workouts get interrupted because of an injury, then because of a phone call. I can’t decide if it’s the universe’s way of telling me to stop using that dvd or the universe’s way of issuing me a challenge. Since I like the idea of a challenge better I’m taking it as such and will continue with the Week 2 workouts, let’s see where they take me! To Week 3? To injury? Who knows!

The bigger thing to ponder is…how long will it take me to complete Week 2?

Guess there’s only one way to find out! lol Bring it on Jillian. Bring. It. On. πŸ™‚

this makes me laugh and shrink back in terror at the same time lol

this makes me laugh and shrink back in terror at the same time lol

If the caption in the pictures is too small to read it says:

Picture One

Lady Working Out: “My back hurts”

Picture Two

Jillian: “That’s a bummer. Guess what else is going to hurt?”

Picture Three

Jillian: “Everything!”

%d bloggers like this: