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Battle of the Hunger Pangs

16 Jul

Ooooooh the hunger pangs; I feel  like my stomach is slowly (and painfully!) eating itself because it is deprived. lol. I don’t feel deprived with my diet normally; I eat a lot of fruit and veggies and I am getting better at eating protein but for some reason today I was hungry. I wanted to snack earlier then usual after meals and I wanted to eat larger meals then what I measured out.

If I had a hungry day like this before I started my weight loss regime I would have went out for lunch when at work and bought something large and not healthy and then come home and made a package of Sidekicks pasta and then eaten the entire package! Oh, and I would have partaken of all the available junk food at work too. I would have felt horrible at the end of the day and would have belittled myself; my head would have been filled with thoughts about how I deserve how I look because look at what I eat! It would have been a very low self esteem day; what’s scary is I wouldn’t have realized how wrong that behaviour was. Not even just the over eating and making poor food choice behaviour but the way I would have treated myself, the thoughts I would have had towards myself, the self loathing and disgust, the way I would have let my self esteem plummet all because of what I put in my mouth. The way I was silently giving up.

This weight loss is a war and in a war there are a lot of small battles; what’s that saying “they may have won this battle but I am going to win the war” – well, I am going to win this battle and win the war! This particular battle is my hungry day; I know that tomorrow will be better, that I won’t be hungry all the time and following my eating plan will be easier but getting through the rest of today is going to be hard. I still have some points left so that’s good; I will have to figure out the best choice for what to eat as an evening snack – it will have to be filling and fit in to my remaining 5 points, totally do-able! I also have to find a way to get my mind off my hunger!

So far today I have eaten:

3/4 cup Red Berry Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1/2 cup Maple Flavoured baked beans = 2 points

2 cut up baby potatoes = 0.5 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 cup blueberries = 1 point

1 cup grapes = 1 point

1 hamburger patty = 4 points

3 baby potatoes = 0.5 points

carrots = 0 points

1 Kraft cheese slice = 1 point

2 cups kettle corn = 3 points

So, my math up above was incorrect, I used 19 points so far so I have 4 points left. I had forgotten to add in my cheese slice, oops! That actually makes me happier, I am going to have a frozen fruit bar from M&M Meat Shop and two pieces of fruit, that’s 4 points and lots of food so hopefully it will keep my tummy happy for the rest of the night. All I need is to get through tonight, I know tomorrow will be better, easier, this is just a testing day – something to see if I have the willpower to stick with my plan and I’ll be damned if I am gonna crack and not make it!

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