A Perfect 10!

I was scared to step on the scale today – so scared I put it off by an hour. I finally decided to just suck it up, step on the stupid thing and get that part of my day over and done with. All I hoped for was to be the same as last week cause as much as that would suck at least I wouldn’t have gained anymore…I just don’t think I could have dealt with gaining again. Lo and behold the number went down! wOOt! 😀

When I did the math it turns out I have lost exactly ten pounds! Yah! I finally got to the ten pounds lost mark! It only took me how frickin long? Well, ok, that isn’t the point and I will try not to dwell, lol.

Now I have a new fear, what if I screw this up and next week I gain again…there is no margin here, no safety net, I am at exactly ten pounds lost so all it takes is one screw up to lose that accomplishment and be back to having lost under ten pounds and that would suck the big one!

Because it’s the weekend and I slept in I got to eat higher pointed foods cause I had to use my points up in less time then normal, I always love and hate that. lol. It means I get to eat something I normally wouldn’t be able to – like pizza – but it also means that I snack on junk and struggle to eat balanced food groups. Stupid food groups. I think chocolate and ice cream should be food groups! 😛

My other fear is about how many points to eat. This past week I used some flex points and ate I think almost all of my exercise points – that is a lot of food and I struggled with it. I struggled with eating over my points because I was so used to thinking I was only allowed 22 points – the extra food was hard to deal with. Also, now that I know I am eating some flex points I found it harder to resist tempting foods, sounds wacky huh? When I was strict and only ate my 22 points of food everyday I (for the most part) didn’t have too hard a time resisting the bad for me stuff that popped up. If someone brought cupcakes in to work I would look then walk away, no biggy, but now I look and wonder…that wondering is gonna be a problem. Too may foods have opened up to me as potentials and really, all they will turn out to be is potential screw ups, potential pounds on my ass, potential eating binges…nothing good in that kind of potential and now I am surrounded by it. sigh.

I guess I have to learn how to be flexibly strict, lol, I don’t think that is even a real term…but it is now cause I have used it!

Today I ate:

1 piece of Delissio pizza = 5 points

1 banana = 2 points

2 Hershey’s Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1 bag Fiesta Salad = 6.5 points

2 pieces of bread = 2 points

1 tbls Nutella = 2 points

1 apple = 1 point

1 thinsations Oreo cakesters = 2 points

Puts me at a total of 22.5 points used today. I am still a bit hungry but not gonna eat anything cause it’s late and the only food I can find is higher in points then what I am willing to eat. See? That’s another problem…now that I eat some of my flex points I am all “who cares I am at my points for the day, I feel peckish, eat something”…it’s like an evil voice in my head taunting me with the one thing I really want more of (food) but can’t have.  Grr to the evil voice!

For now though that evil voice can go drown if a vat of McDonald’s cooking oil cause I lost ten whole pounds and the voice can’t take that away from me!

Tags: flex points, points, scale, ten pounds, weight loss, weight watchers