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Archive | October, 2010

Soooooooo Close!

31 Oct

We all know there are a variety of things out there that can hamper our weight loss journeys. Whether it is stress, temptations, weak will power, holidays…whatever, there are a lot of things that can get in our way. Some things we can control, like not over eating during the holidays, some things we can’t control as much, like having to deal with a sudden and stressful situation. That is what I had happen last week, I found out tuesday night that lay offs were happening at work and since then I had major stress. Stress I would get laid off, stress because one of my good friends got laid off, basically I had stress. lol.

I am not good at dealing with stress. Sure, with certain types of stressful situations I am fine but uber stressful? Nope, not my thing. In general, I have a very stress free existence. I don’t mean that I don’t have things in my life that cause stress, I just mean I don’t allow those things to stress me out. I just dismiss things, what’s that expressions…as a duck sheds water…that is how I am with stress. shrug. It rolls off my back – it’s a good way of being, I think, but it also means that when something out of my control pops up that is uber stressful my body freaks. sigh.

The freaking of this past week caused my body to have stomach pain, headaches, bad sleep and a host of other physical symptoms. Through all this I was most worried that the stress would cause me to not lose weight – as of last weekends weigh in day I was 0.8 pounds away from reaching 15 pounds lost and I really wanted to reach that 15 pounds! I wanted to reach it cause, hello? 15 pounds is awesome! and also cause it meant I had reached my first goal and would be allowed to purchase a full length mirror and go through my closet trying on all my clothes to see what fit and what was too large and basically having a fun clothes day. I have been slowly finding clothes in my closet that I can fit in to that 15 pounds ago I was too fat for, I am way excited to find even more of them but decided to make an event of it – hence the waiting till I reached 15 pounds lost. 🙂

Well, I was sorta right and sorta wrong about the stress causing me weigh in day problems. See, weigh in day is every Saturday at 2pm, this became the day and time cause (1) I wanted it on a weekend and (2) the first couple weeks I slept in way late and that was the time I was finally up and about so I have kept it that way ever since. The problem with having weigh in time so late in the day is that if I have anything to do on the saturday that causes me to get up earlier it screws up my weigh in. Anyone who weighs in weekly knows that stepping on that scale around the same time each week is vital.

So friday night I was out with a friend and we ended up eating dinner later then normal, that might have been ok except I also had to get up earlier then normal on the saturday cause I have a nannying job and no way would I get there in time if I wasn’t already up, dressed and fed by 2pm. When I stepped on that scale saturday I was nervous and felt I had every right to be, especially when the number popped up and I had gained 0.2 pounds, yup, you read that right, I gained. sigh. I wasn’t upset about it, which is kinda surprising, but I knew there was a good chance the scale would be mean that morning because of (1) all the stress, (2) later dinner friday and (3) early weigh in time saturday…it was a recipe for a bad number. lol.

I decided to not let it get to me, after all, what could I do about it? Sure, I was now a full freakin pound away from 15 pounds lost instead of 0.8 but sigh, you just gotta let these things go. However, I did decide to re-weigh myself on the sunday, just to see if the number changed…mostly cause I was curious if I had gained the 0.2 pounds because of the dinner, the early weigh in or the stress. I figured if it was the stress the number would still be about the same but if it was a combo of the other two factors maybe the number would be different. Well, woohoo! The number was different! *happy dance* I had lost 1 pound so now I am only 0.2 pounds away from that 15 pounds lost! I almost cheated and went and bought the mirror, I thought that I am soooo close and for sure I will lose that 0.2 this week so why not get it this weekend and have it all ready for use next weekend when going through the clothes in my closet? Right? Well, I decided not to. Cause I haven’t reached the 15 pounds so if I bought the mirror I would be cheating myself out of the celebration of buying it cause I had reached a goal. Does that make sense? Also, if I bought the mirror before I reached the 15 pounds then what happens with my next goal? K, sure, I haven’t actually set a second goal yet, lol, but say I set a goal so that when I lose 30 pounds I get to buy, I dunno, really rockin boots, well, if I pre-buy this goal then for the next goal it will be even easier to say “meh, I am only 5 pounds away from reaching the 30 pound mark, for sure I will reach it so I’ll go buy the boots now” – then not only am I cheating myself out of my prize again! I am cheating at an even earlier time…which you may say I won’t do but I probably would. By buying early now I am practically giving my future self permission to cheat. *rolls eyes* that may sound stupid but it’s how I work. Ya gotta set precedent ya know? …all those law classes at work I guess. lol.

So here I am, 0.2 pounds away from my 15 pounds lost mark and feeling uber happy about that. Even with all that stress last week I stuck to my points and did what I was supposed to and I guess it worked. Sure, I didn’t lose a lot but considering everything that was going on last week, I am happy I lost anything at all. Oh, and combine all that stress with me not exercising…not even once! Oy! Bad move me. lol. I am hopefully starting up a new exercise class tomorrow so I’ll let you know how that goes.

Today I ate:

3 pieces french toast = 7 points

3 tbls maple syrup = 2 points

3 tsp brown sugar = 1 point

2 pieces turkey bacon = 2 points

2 cups kettle corn = 1 1/4 point

1 Mr Noodle chicken flavour = 8 points

1 Quaker Crunch’ers = 2 points

That puts me at 23 1/4 points eaten for the day. Crap. I forgot to write down the turkey bacon in my tracking book and only now remembered it, so that messed up my points for today. I hate forgetting to put things down in my tracker cause that means when I am looking at getting a snack or something I think I have more points to play with then I do, grr.

I think I normally forget to write things down on the weekend cause I am more lax about things, ya know? I am not being controlled by the schedule at work or anything which makes it easier to just slack. Ah well, 1 1/4 points over isn’t gonna kill me, and ya know what? That french toast was sooooo worth it! Mmm! It’s the first time I have ever made french toast, I had to figure out what to do by memory and I am pleasantly surprised I figured it out. So yummy! 😀

Hopefully tomorrow the new work out class works out cause that’ll mean I have one guaranteed physical activity a week for I think it’s 6 weeks, then I can combine with that my 11 visit drop in pass for the local community centre, I can use the pass for the exercise room so I will try to pick one day a week I will for sure go and voila! back to two exercise days a week. 😀 Wish me luck!

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Cluck Cluck?

28 Oct

I had myself a “first” today…I cooked raw chicken. *shudder* I don’t handle raw meat or fish – it’s just not my thing. When I cook dead animal it is always frozen, this means I open the package it is in carefully so that I can then flip the meat or fish out in to the cooking dish without ever touching it…it cooks and voila! becomes something I don’t mind touching if needed. 😀 lol. I don’t care how weird it is, I don’t touch raw meat!

For dinner tonight I wanted to make home made pizza and I kept thinking I’d put some grilled chicken on it but in order to do that I needed to buy chicken and all the frozen chicken comes in such large portions its ridiculous – I don’t have that much room in my freezer. Sooooooo raw non frozen chicken it was!

I had to call my mom, whom I am sure despairs at my lack of cooking skills – you wouldn’t believe how many times I call her from the grocery store with questions! lol. Anyways, I called mom and got advice on how to buy raw skinless boneless chicken breasts. The smallest package had three chicken breasts in it which was distressing cause that meant I wouldn’t be able to just open the package and tip the chicken out on to my George Foreman grill…I’d have to do something with the other two pieces. sigh.

I got the chicken home and very carefully opened the package, I didn’t want to risk any chicken juice touching me, ick, and then I stabbed a piece with a fork and dropped it on to the grill, perfecto! No touching required! The other two pieces I put in to seperate freezer ziploc bags – I used the stab with fork and don’t touch method there too – one piece went in to the freezer and one piece went in to the fridge, I think it can be in the fridge for like 3 days or so…maybe that’s 2 days, hmm, I detect another call to mom in my near future lol – anyways, I figure I’ll grill the second piece up within a day or so once I figure out what I want to do with it. I think it can be marinated…maybe I will try to figure out how to do that…

The chicken I grilled went great on the pizza, I paired it with some of the Alfredo Roasted Tomato sauce I have been eating on my penne noodles this past week…what can I say, I love the sauce but it’s only sold in large jars and I don’t like freezing it cause I forget about it and then end up throwing it out cause it got freezer burn, shrug, hence my overeating of the sauce during this past week. lol. There was also cheese (measured out of course), sliced baby tomatoes and mushrooms…this was all put on top of home made yeast free pizza dough. I can already hear the “huh? yeast free, what’s with that?” questions, roomie number 1 had a yeast allergy and all pizza bought from pizza shops have yeast, mean huh? So, I found a yeast free pizza dough recipe online and gave it a try, it’s good. Easy to make, yummy, a bit high in points but your toppings are usually low in points so it can even out. 🙂

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 small banana = 1 point

1 bowl weight watchers soup = 0 points

1 english muffin = 3 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

raw veggies = 0 points

Homemade Pizza

    – 1/4 cup Alfredo Roasted Tomato Sauce = 2 points

    – 1 light babybell = 1 point

    – 30 grams Kraft double cheddar cheese = 2 point

    – 50 grams grilled chicken = 1 point

    – tomatoes and mushrooms = 0 points

    – dough = 16 points

Now, don’t freak out with those pizza points, those are calculated for the entire pizza, I only ate half which means for half the pizza I used 11 points – that’s 3 points for toppings and 8 points for the crust. I am sure there must be a lower points pizza dough but I don’t know how considering how simplistic this recipe is, it only has like 5 ingredients. Ah well, some things are just gonna cost a lot of points I guess. The half of a pizza I ate tonight for 8 points is way more filling then 2 slices of panago pizza (which would be 8 points) so that’s good I guess…same amount of points but more filling when homemade. 🙂

My total points eaten today is 21. I know I am s’posed to eat 22 points and I actually thought the pizza wouldn’t be enough and I’d end up going over with some snack later in the evening but the amount I ate was actually a bit too much and left me with a heavy stomach, ugh. I made some tea and sat with a hot water bottle on my gut for the rest of the evening in the hopes of making my innards feel better. It hasn’t worked. sigh. Normally I am a firm believer in the healing powers of tea, I don’t mean some weird herbal wonky tea, I mean nice normal Orange Pekoe tea from Tetley. I drink tea all the time anyways but I always have a cup when I don’t feel well, or am tired, or cold or need help digesting or whatever…tea cures everything! Tonight though it didn’t work, even combined with the trusty hot water bottle. sadness.

I think the pain is left over from the stress that started tuesday – that is when the pain started, it peaked wednesday morning and since then calmed a bit but for sure hasn’t gone away, sigh. My body doesn’t like stress which is why I make sure to not allow stress to exist in my world, obviously there are stressful moments and situations (I don’t think you can ever completely get away from stress, shrug) but I refuse it entry in to my life as much as possible. Lay offs at work though, well, that is definitely something out of my control and highly stressful and ever since this whole thing happened my guts have been in pain. ugh. I s’pose making something heavy like a pizza was not the wisest decision on my part but hey, whatcha gonna do? It’s already been made and half eaten. lol. I am hoping this pain goes away soon and I think I will have to be more careful with what I eat until it is all better. Man, I hate how weak my body is when it comes to stuff like this. blarg.

Well, I’m Still Employed…

27 Oct

That’s gotta count for something, right? I mean, it’s not like this is my dream job…or even a job in the field I want to be in but it pays the bills and that is important. Sure I sometimes feel like being in the financial business industry is eating away at my soul and sucking me farther and farther away from doing work in any kind of field I could find personal happiness in…but hey, shrug, who am I to quibble about where my steady pay cheque comes from? *rolls eyes*

Work was weird today, everyone who wasn’t laid off was on edge and nervous, the people who were laid off did their best to appear ok but they were all a little forced in their cheerfulness. In a way I just want the week to be over already so all this tension is outta my life but at the same time I don’t want the week to end cause that’ll mean AC is no longer there and I’ll miss her. 😦 

My guts got all twisted up during my text convo last night when I learned about the people being laid off and didn’t ease till after a meeting I had with my manager where he assured me my job is safe. Man, my tummy hurt this morning, it was crazy. And oh man my sleep, or lack there of last night sucked, tossing and turning and when I did sleep I had weird dreams that involved work and…well, I can’t really remember what else, just that the dreams were weird and unsettling and I kept waking up from them. ugh. I don’t usually get stressed by things, I mean sure I feel some stress at times but harsh enough stress to cause pain and bad sleep? That is just unheard of!…least, in my world…maybe it’s normal and I just never knew?

All I want to do this week is lose 0.8 lbs, that shouldn’t be so hard to do but so far I have done no exercise and had a night and a day thrown off by excessive stress. This better not mess up my reaching 15 lbs lost by the weekend! Although, really, who am I threatening with that? Karma? The fates? The universe? Like any of those will be scared of what I say! ha!

On a different note I got a package in the mail today from NH, 😀 she sent me halloween goodies, which, ok yeah very nice, but uh…candy? gummies? hot chocolate mix? Crap. There was also a black glass with a silver skull and crossbones on it (I have a thing about skulls) but it broke, sigh. I actually had to call her to ask her what it was it was that broken. lol. She sends me junk food each year and it’s pretty awesome cause I don’t buy halloween candy for myself but, shrug, I can’t eat it this year. Well, I am probably gonna try the hot chocolate mix…hello! it turns red! Talk about awesome! I still have 2 points left over for the day, I am hoping that will be enough to cover a cup of hot chocolate, if it’s not I will go over in to flex points cause (1) I have been good this week and not gone over and (2) I really wanna try the mix! lol.

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 small banana = 1 point

1 Activia Yogurt = 2 points

1 bowl weight watchers soup = 0 points

1 english muffin = 3 points

2 triangles laughing cow cheese = 1 point

mixed raw vegies = 0 points

1 cup strawberries = 1 point

85 grams eating right whole wheat penne = 5 points

1/4 cup Alfredo Roasted Tomato sauce = 2 points

mixed cooked veggies = 0 points

2 Lifestyles shortbread cookies = 2 points

So like I said above, that is 20 points, two left for some hot chocolate! Although, I am kinda hungry, sigh, so do I really want to use my last two points of the day on a drink when I could have something more solid? Oh the choices a person on weight watchers must make. lol.

How To Process This…

26 Oct

I think up things to post about all throughout the day – when something interesting happens or I have a particularly inspiring idea (that second one doesn’t happen too often, lol) I think about how I can turn it in to a post and share it. When I am at work, exercising, hanging out with people, surfing online recipes, reading health/diet books – whatever, if I think it can relate here and amuse, entertain, inspire or teach I think about how to post it. I’d say about 95% of these idea never ever even make it near a post, lol, not cause I decide to not share them but because when I sit down to type I forget what I was gonna write about, hehe, great attention span huh?

Sooooo, the whole reason behind that paragraph is because earlier today something happened that really pissed me off – I mean totally and completely pissed me off so badly my post was going to be a rant about how much I hate people and wish I could live the life of a rich hermit, if I could find a way to never have to leave my  house or interact in person with others but still make enough money to live comfortable I would do it…if only I had some mad hacker skills lol.  But then something else happened when I got home that was even worse then what happened earlier…a total and complete suck-fest that I have no power to fix. sigh.

I got a text from a friend at work that after certain people had left (not me, three other people) a staff meeting was called for all those still there to let them know that three specific people have been let go due to budget cuts and their last day will be friday…say wha?!?! We are making record profits! And yeah, two of them are new and not picking up the job all that quickly but the third has been here since…well, for ages! And she does a great job, a specialized job that others are now going to have to do (read – I am going to have to do, sigh) and she is my friend! We sit beside each other, we talk during the day, she’s my main supporter with weight watchers, she makes my work day enjoyable. And as of Monday that will all be gone. 😦

It’s probably wrong and twisted that I keep thinking how I will be affected, but hey, I am self involved over here so whatever! I mean, yeah, I did think about her and how it’s gonna affect her family, I started hoping she gets something new asap and really hoping we don’t lose touch but…I am also thinking how I will be kinda lonely at work, how her absence will affect my work load and “happy factor” at work. We bitch to each other, and help each other, support each other, cover for each other…we do lot’s for and with each other and now she’ll be gone…*sniffle* And who the fuck am I gonna excitedly tell my weight loss amount to every monday?! She was sooooo encouraging during that stupid 4 week plateau, I don’t think I would have made it through without her…I don’t wanna lose her! Now I am just whining…sorry. 😦

So, that text convo (which I am still having btw lol) totally threw me off my stride. Bad news coming out of the blue like that, I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. I instinctively wanted to get something to eat, lol, stupid right? I did eat, hello the plan isn’t to starve myself lol, but I ate my points and no more. However, I did not exercise even though it is tuesday. I know! I am breaking my exercise on tuesday and thursday plan but hey, I was involved in too important of a text convo to go out hiking in the rain…which oh yeah, rain season has started for sure – it’s raining everyday and not little dribbles but full out pouring rain so even if the text convo hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have gone out for the hike. 😛

I am gonna hafta find a new activity…it was one thing to force myself to go out hiking, somehow I managed to do that, but I haven’t been able to force myself to use the exercise bike or Wii Fit, which is stupid cause the Wii Fit is way fun and I like being able to bike while watching tv. I think what it is that’s stopping me (besides laziness) is the bike and Wii are in the living room so using them means I have a good chance of having an audience cause of the roomie. Thing is, I can’t use the Wii without taking over the tv so if she wants to watch something and I am using the Wii fit it’s a dilemna and if she wants to watch tv do you really think she’s gonna wanna hear me huffing and puffing on the bike? Highly doubt she will since I wouldn’t want to hear her and roomie #2 drove me frickin nuts when she’d come back from a run and stretch out all over the living room floor…like I want to see that? ugh.  All of this means I am going to have to find something to sign up for that is twice a week or more and in my price range which is like zero to nothing, lol, and fun. Not too hard of a list right? Ha! 😛

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 small banana = 1 point

1 serving weight watchers soup = 0 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 english muffin = 3 points

1 Activia = 2 points

raw mixed vegg = 0 points

1 prawn salad roll = 3 points

85 grams Eating Right whole wheat pasta = 5 points

1/4 cup Alfredo Roasted Tomato sauce = 2 points

mixed cook vegg = 0 points

2 Lifestyle Choices shortbread cookies = 2 points

Total points eaten 22.

So, I am kinda stressed cause until I hear from the boss man that I am not being cut I will be wondering, sigh. As we all know stress is a bad thing to have when trying to lose weight, it can cause your body to hold on to the weight instead of releasing it to the universe – and yes, that is how I have decided to look at it for now. lol. Plus there is the general sucky-ness of knowing my friend won’t have a job as of friday 4:30pm, sigh. Why does life have to be like this? sigh.

Can’t stop thinkin about it

25 Oct

So, I just can’t stop thinking about the 1.4 lbs I lost last week…I know it’s not the biggest amount to lose and since it’s around the amount I have come to expect to lose every week it’s not like it’s a massive big surprise but I just can’t stop thinking about it. lol. 🙂

I guess it might be because of feeling last week like I screwed up a lot so I was half expecting to not have lost anything…or if I lost something it would have been a way small amount…which I s’pose 1.4 is a small amount but hey, it could have been a lot lower!

I think mostly I can’t stop thinking about it because I am 0.8 lbs away from getting to go through my closet and try on all my clothes and see how they fit now. I can’t believe how much I am looking forward to that! I mean, hello, they are already my clothes, it’s not like I am going shopping or anything…but it’s almost like going shopping cause I don’t know what I will find in there. teehee.  I’m oh so close to that 15 lb mark; it feels like it is in reach and oh man do I want to reach it!

Something else awesome that happened is I got a connection through a friend to a photographer who is amazing and she will give me a discount on new headshots, wOOt! Now, for all those who don’t know, headshots can cost anywhere from $500-$800 depending on the photographer and what you want/need. This photographer will give me three looks, a disc with all the pictures taken on it and apparently she is way fun in the studio. 😀 I have seen some of her work and it is amazing, I can’t wait! Oh, and all this for only $200. 😀 I have been saving money in a piggy bank and I think I have enough to cover the costs but I gotta go count it. lol. I will count it after this coming Saturday after my nannying gig, I will bring in $120 from that nannying job so that’ll give the savings quite the boost. I will still have to pay for the make up person and that will be about $100 (that’s average cost so no surprise there) but before headshots can be done there are sooooo many other costs. sigh. I hafta get my hair trimmed, I need my eyebrows waxed (not like they are nasty looking now but they have to look professional) and drum roll please…I need to buy some clothes. Ack!

I wasn’t planning on buying any clothes until at least 20 lbs lost, I wanted to have a good chunk of weight gone before spending money on clothes but I may have to change that…depends what I find in my closet at the 15 lb mark! hehehe There is so much prep work to be done, I am sooooooo excited! For one thing, headshots are a total blast to have done, it’s a day all about you and you look fabulous cause you have professionals making you look awesome and keeping you that way. Who doesn’t love that?! 😀 Plus, it’s a total boost to self confidence cause dude, a whole stack of pics showing you at the best angles with the best lighting – that can’t do anything but make you feel good about yourself. 😀 The only part that can bring it down is the clothes, if you don’t have clothes that make you feel good about how you look and that look great on you, well, it’ll make you self conscious in front of the camera and that will show. So, I will have a mission…well fitting, bold solid colours, varying necklines, short sleeves – these are the kind of tops I will be looking for. I am hoping I will find enough pants in my closet that I won’t have to buy any of those…I hate pants shopping, well, I hate clothes shopping in general since I got fat but especially pants. ugh. For now though I am just gonna focus on next weekend where hopefully I will be trying on all the stuff in my closet – then I will focus on finding some tops. 😛

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point 

1 small banana = 1 point

1 serving weight watchers soup = 0 points

1 bagel = 4 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 cup strawberries = 1 point

1/2 serving Pesto Linguine = 7 points

1 Jolly Time popcorn pckg = 1 point

1 Thinsations Oreo Cakesters = 2 points

Total points eaten 22. 🙂 I want to eat more but it’s not cause I am hungry, I am having that “I want to eat just for the sake of eating” thing happen again. I think it’s cause I am tired…I have been draggy and tired all day, and cold-brr!, and I think being tired and cold is making me instinctivly want to eat more. You know, like my body is trying to up it’s internal temp and rev up it’s energy and the way it knows how to do that is by getting more fuel in to it. Silly body though, apparently it doesn’t know it has gotten enough fuel for the day…or maybe it does know and that is why I don’t actually feel hungry. lol. Either way, no more food for me today! Nuh-uh. Instead, I am going to go turn on the space heater in my room, get my lunch for tomorrow ready and go to bed early, I will probably sit up and read a while but at least I will be burrowed under covers and (hopefully!) warm. lol. 🙂

The Old Spaghetti Factory

24 Oct

Yum Yum Yum…that is all that has to be said when thinking about the Old Spaghetti Factory, YUM! 😀

I went for lunch with a friend today and we have known since last wednesday that we were going to OSF so in preparation I went online last night and dug out the nutritional information for the restaurant. It is not the most complete information out there but hey, something is better then nothing. lol. They don’t list the fibre for any of the dishes, *rolls eyes*, so my numbers are approximations…what I did do though was calculate my dish using all the different amounts of fibre, if there is 0-3 fibre the dish is 13 points and if there is 4 or more the dish is 14 points…wow, what a change. lol. I decided to count my dish at 14 points cause I’d rather guess high then low. 🙂

I got the pesto linguine, omg, best dish ever! There are pine nuts in it that just add that little touch of something extra, aaaahhhh, I am having a happy moment just thinking about the dish. teehee. Now, anybody who has ever been to OSF knows that they give huge portions, massive portions…bigger portions then any one person should ever eat! Not only is your entree huuuuuuge, every dish comes with a starter salad or soup, bread and a scoop of ice cream for dessert. Can’t go wrong with that. 😀

Here is how I made my dish as healthy as I could, I got a garden salad instead of ceasar salad. I wanted light dressing but they don’t carry it, grr, so I sucked it up and got the ranch cause really, it’s my fave dressing. I forgot to ask for it on the side though so when I got the salad it was glopped on smack dab in the middle, sigh, I ended up eating the salad that wasn’t covered in dressing and dipping it lightly in the dressing, lol, it was a tad ackward but I made it work. Step two on making it healthier was I got whole wheat pasta – you have to ask for that and the linguine doesn’t come in whole wheat, only spaghetti noodles do so I got the dish with the whole wheat spaghetti noodles. Step three was I requested they only bring out half the dish and automatically box the other half for me to take home. Pretty good all in all. 😀

So, half the entree cost me 7 points, possibly less cause of the whole wheat instead of white pasta but I have no way of knowing. shrug. The bread is hard to calculate, they bring out this mini loaf that is freshly baked and holy crap it’s gooooood! The bonus to it being a mini loaf is the slices you cut off it are small so I am approximating my bread at 3 points. The ice cream is just something you can’t say no to, it is vanilla chocolate and a green colour I have never been able to figure out the flavour of. lol. It is OSF’s signature dessert. You get one scoop in this cute little dish.

Mmm! Ice Cream! 🙂

See there to the right, a scoop of the ice cream in the cute little dish. 🙂 That is not from my lunch however, I got the pic from the internet – how do we know this? Cause I drank water, not wine. lol. But really, how could you say no to that little itty bitty dessert? *shakes head* I surely couldn’t.

I thought going out for lunch would kinda mess me up points wise for the day, and I suppose if I had gotten the full portion served to me instead of the half I might have but I don’t think I would have been able to finish the full serving. As it was, the half serving, with the salad, three small slices of bread and a scoop of ice cream left me quite full…not “omg, I am so full I want to puke or have a nap or something” but full like “I don’t want anymore food but my stomach isn’t poofing out it’s so stuffed and I can go on with my day not feeling disgusting” – I am quite happy with that! 😀
The friend I went for lunch with, MS, she didn’t know I am on weight watchers. I told my friends at work and hmm, maybe 3 non work friends, everyone else I am keeping it hush hush. At first I wasn’t telling cause I didn’t want lots of people knowing if I ended up giving up or failing or whatever, now it’s that (1) I don’t really know how to bring it up, or why I would  and (2) I like seeing if people I haven’t seen in a bit can tell I have lost weight without knowing I am trying to lose weight. That may seem weird but, shrug, the people who know I am trying well, they are practically duty bound to say they see a difference in how I look where as the friends who don’t know what is going on, shrug, if they see a difference they will comment on it but if they don’t see one then I know that I have a ways more to go before I have made a noticeable difference in how I look.
MS, lol, it was funny, after the waitress went away she’s all “why did you only want half your food now, and what’s with the whole wheat?” so I told her about weight watchers. Her first response? “Why are you doing that?!” You’d think that’d be a great response right? But it kinda wasn’t. See, I know what I look like. I know what size I am, I am not delusional about it. So, while I am sure her comments were meant to be supportive cause she thinks I look fine as I am, they kinda made me feel…I dunno, not fine. I don’t know how to explain this. lol. When I told her I am having trouble getting a new agent cause of how big I am and how I’ll do better in the acting world once I am not as fat she got all “don’t talk like that, you saying you are fat makes me mad, you look great as you are” – so, great, I look great as I am but I can’t get an agent cause no one wants to represent someone who looks like me. sigh.
Ah well, enough with that! Lunch was great, that part of the convo aside, I got to enjoy one of my favourite dishes without screwing up my points for the day and bonus, I have enough left over to have for dinner tomorrow. Total Win! 😀
So today I ate:
1 garden salad = 0 points
1/2 serving Pesto Linguine = 7 points
3 slices of bread = 3 points
1 scoop ice cream = 4 points
marginal salad dressing = 1 point ?
1 Root Beer = 3 points
3 cups kettle corn = 2 points
1 Activia yogurt = 2 points
1 Werther’s Chocolate Crunch = 1 point
Alrighty, so I said up there that I didn’t screw up my points, well, oops. I forgot to count the salad dressing and the teeny amount of margarine I put on the bread. I think the dressing and margarine combined will be 1 point at most so that means I am one point over, I ate 23 points today. Still, not bad at all. 🙂
And, to make this weekend even better, I had weigh in day yesterday and lost 1.4 pounds!!! wOOt! This means I am 0.8 pounds away from having lost 15 pounds, sweeeeeeeet! 😀 My treat for reaching the 15 pounds lost mark is going through my wardrobe and trying on my clothes to see what I can get rid of and what I have that I had gotten too fat for that now fits. I can’t wait! I am so psyched to see what I can now wear. 🙂 I have one pair of pants that I tried on on a whim before I thought up this treat of mine and I am so glad I tried them cause man, they fit so well! Pretty much perfect. I remember putting these pants on and having to suck in to get them done up then being so incredibly uncomfie while wearing them and dreading having to sit in them cause they would dig in to my gut and actually cause me pain…I must have been in denial wearing them when they fit so tight! Now, I can do them up with ease and they look soooo good. Yeah, I am being vain, so sue me. In fact, they fit not loose like they are in imminent danger of falling off, but loose enough that I think in another 5 pounds or so they just may be too loose to wear…that will of course depend on where the fat comes off of but whatever. I will miss them when I can’t wear them anymore but I will glad when I am so small that they don’t fit. 😀

For Absolutely No Reason What So Ever

22 Oct

Alrighty, confession time…I just ate something for absolutely no reason what so ever.  I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t have any points left I was trying to use, I didn’t have a gun to my head and a crazy person telling me to eat or they’ll shoot. I just ate. sigh.

This week has been weird, everyday I feel like I have failed. I am not sure why; when I tally up my flex points I have used 10.5 for the week so more then I would like but not more then what I am allowed. shrug. Maybe it is because I usually don’t use my flex points? I really don’t know – this may remain a mystery which would be so uncool. I almost feel  like I am self sabatoging by eating the flex points and that is bringing me down, I know that I’m not actually self sabatoging, I know I am s’posed to eat the flex points, and yet…I feel like this. double sigh.

I had errands after work and one of them took me to the grocery store, exciting huh? Anyways, they have a section where you can buy sushi made that day and for some reason I really wanted sushi. I haven’t had sushi since this whole thing started (well, ok, I had like three pieces way back in summer when hanging with my mom, so shoot me! 😛 ), the reason I haven’t eaten it is because the sushi I like best are the rolls and those are hard to calculate points for – there is the rice, the filling, the sauces…I could probably get pretty close to the number if there were no sauces on them, but hello? that’s what makes the chef’s rolls so yummy! So I haven’t been eating sushi. I had a nice big salad waiting for me in the fridge at home and was planning to go eat that but somehow I ended up in the sushi section and you guessed it, I bought and then ate sushi. It was pretty good, I got Spicy Shrimp Mayo rolls – I normally don’t eat those cause I don’t go in for spicy but as soon as I saw them that was what I wanted. And who am I to ignore a craving? lol.

I have noticed that this week, that I am craving things I normally don’t and things I normally like to eat are turning me off. Weird, huh? I wonder if I am missing something in my diet and my body is sending me signals I can’t properly interpret in an attempt to get what it needs…thing is though, I have read a couple different studies that say the myth that we crave certain foods because our bodies are missing something that food has is just that, a myth. Someone probably made it up to give an excuse for all the chocolate they eat! lol.

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 BodyWise bagel = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup Fire Roasted Sweet Pepper and Tomato soup = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

Sushi, Spicy Shrimp Mayo rolls = 10 points

1 Thinsations Fudge Dipped Bar = 1 point

So a total of 24 points for the day. I normally try to be more careful on fridays, not use my flex points since I will be weighing in tomorrow but when I was done the sushi I was already one point over for the day and I was still, hmm, I was going to say I was still hungry but that isn’t right, I just still wanted to eat. shrug.

This is the problem that is plaguing me this evening – I am not hungry but I want to eat. Even now, when I know how many points I have eaten, when I know I am not hungry, when I know it is late-ish and I shouldn’t eat I want to eat. Argh!! What’s up with that? sigh. Goes with the week I am having I guess. *rolls eyes* I am gonna watch a bit of tv then go to bed early, pathetic for a friday evening I know, lol, but I have to get away from the kitchen and if I am sleeping I can’t be eating!

Oh! quick side note! That Thinsations Fudge Dipped  Bar I ate, soooo yum! Mom told me about them and I spent weeks looking for them, of course, the week I stopped looking for them is when I found them in the grocery store, lol. They are like an oreo and a cake all wrapped in chocolate – that’s not quite the right description but it’s the best I have, and the best part is each bar is only 1 point! Most Thinsations foods are 2 points per serving so this is a bonus at only 1 point and it’s a really decent portion size too. 😀 If you can find them, and you like chocolate, I say buy them, totally worth the money and points!

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