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A New Leaf

28 Aug

Last week I ate horribly, I don’t mean I ate something high in points on one day, I mean every freakin day I ate something way way way high in points, guaranteeing I dipped into flex points daily and only on one day did I exercise, and it wasn’t even my highest intensity exercise – it was just my hike. Crap. What seems to make it even worse is…I didn’t track! *hangs head in shame* aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I always track my food! ALWAYS! well…always when I am at home in my normal routine, when on vacation I usually cut myself some slack lol.  😉

Why did this happen? I’m not sure…which is weird…normally I have some idea for why I screw up but this time? I dunno…well, that’s not totally true, on Friday I know why I ate badly, I was so pissed off and hurt from that interview I had I dived into ice cream, and not even the healthy-ish ice cream (ya know, the Skinny Cow stuff) but I got the really bad stuff, I bought double chocolate drumsticks, omg, bad move! Of course, after eating the ice cream I felt so badly for what I stuffed in my face I went out at night to the hiking trail and kicked my own ass all the way around it, lol, the whole time I was internally berating myself for what I had eaten and calling myself lots of bad names, lemme tell ya, walking that trail when angry got me a way better time then when I normally walk it lol. When I got home I then popped in one of my many exercise dvds and continued to attempt to burn off some of the calories I’d ingested. So ok, there is Friday explained but the rest of it?

For those days…I only have partial ideas, none of them great. shrug. Monday it was raining so I couldn’t hike and there was no dragon boating (we had the day off since we had raced just two days prior), there are no boxerfit classes on monday so I really had nothing I could do – and yes, I am aware I could have used an exercise dvd but I figured I’d enjoy the rainy day by sitting inside with a book and a cup of tea and just relax since my weekend had been so freakin busy. Did I mention already last Sunday I was turned in to a zombie? Cause I was, and while yes that is totally fun it takes a lot of the day and weirdly enough kinda wears you out…I think cause you’re sitting so long in makeup that your body just goes sleepy. lol.

So Monday, it was a chilling/relaxing day, having one of those every now and then won’t kill a girl or her diet plan, er, healthy living regime lol, so that was ok. But then Tuesday…uh, wtf happened with Tuesday? I didn’t hike cause I was running late going to a friends to take her some stuff and I thought I’d hike afterwards but we ended up hanging out and by the time I got home it was too late and well, I’d been drinking a tad so really, exercise wasn’t on my to-do list right then. lol. For food that day I was doing ok until I was on my way home and I was starving so I stopped at a 7-11 and bought half the store, ugh, I ate billions of calories really late at night right before going to bed on a day when I didn’t exercise at all, just frickin brilliant. *rolls eyes*

Wednesday I was recovering, lol, my stomach would barely tolerate anything for quite a while which I was kinda grateful for cause I was mad at myself for what I ate the night before. I did almost nothing Wednesday cause of how crappy I felt, oh, and add to the hangover I got wicked bad cramps, sigh, so two reasons I didn’t go to boxerfit. Now that I think about it I don’t think I ate as badly on Wednesday as on the other days but that’s cause my stomach was all anti-food, not cause I had any kind of self restraint or willpower. I remember eating cereal…and some toast…I’m not sure what else went past my lips but whatever it might have been it most likely wasn’t healthy lol

Thursday was the audition that went awesome! I don’t eat a lot before going to auditions cause I don’t wanna feel bloated or digesty or anything so all I had before I went was some toast and water. Afterwards I didn’t get home for way more hours then I anticipated cause of the wait at the docs office so when I was on the way home I got a pizza, I was sooooo starved and for some reason I thought I’d have a treat since I did so well at the audition. I have to stop treating myself with food! What am I, a dog??? arg. And really, I’d eaten so badly earlier in the week that even if I decided treating myself with food was an ok option I so wouldn’t have deserved to eat something bad for me that day! Friday was the bad mean sucky day, I ended up eating the rest of the pizza and two of those double chocolate drumsticks, oh, and some pumpkin pie. Then I hiked and dvd exercised.

Saturday I…wtf did I eat yesterday? hmm…oh! I went to White Spot with KL, she did me a huge favour and came with me to pick up a tv I got for free from a guy on craigslist (the tv I’ve been using belongs to my former roomie and she’s picking it up at the end of the month so I’ve been trying to find a tv for way cheap to replace hers with and I got the worlds heaviest tv for free, all I had to do was pick it up, yah!) I was a good girl and ordered a Spot Salad with skinless boneless chicken breast on top, I get the dressing on the side and dip every third forkful into it so I barely use any dressing. Can I say, it’s freakin ridiculous it cost almost $4 extra to get the chicken! $4!!! Crazy! but I really needed the protein so there ya have it. That wasn’t so bad but later in the day I ate another drumstick and I believe I also had some of the pie, sigh.

Today I swore I was gonna turn over a new leaf, see, my food weeks start on Saturdays but I bombed yesterday so I figured I’d just move on past that and start fresh today. It seemed like a decent plan…well, yeah, I ate cereal before going out but KL convinced me we needed to get something to eat before we went to the place she is house sitting at to watch a movie. We were trying to get sushi but the only place open near the place she is house sitting is stupidly expensive so we went to a food court, where of course nothing is healthy, and I bought the cheapest thing I could find. Which, fyi, was a burger and fries with a pop. sigh. There was  only one healthy place there, a salad place, but it would’ve cost so much more then the burger and fries and I’m fairly poor right now so even if it’s not healthy I have to go with the cheapest. shrug. The burger and fries were yummy, and not as bad for me as I thought they would be, it’s a mom and pop type place so the burger was cooked on an actual grill and all the toppings were fresh and the fries weren’t greasy and actually tasted like potato…weird lol…but still, not healthy! Since I’ve been home I ate the last piece of pie, thank god that is now gone from my place! and I’m dousing myself with tea to trick my tummy into thinking it doesn’t want to eat. See, without my medication I can’t eat for like 5-7 hours before I go to bed (when I am on medication it’s more like 3-4 hours which is much easier to deal with).

I find that what I have been doing this past week is instead of eating a healthy meal and then also eating the ice cream or pie or whatever I am just eating the ice cream or pie or whatever, the healthy food has gone bye-bye. Part of it is cause I have to eat what I have, I can’t afford to buy groceries for a bit and that means I don’t have fresh produce anymore, and part of it is cause when I ate the drumsticks they were so bad for me that I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything else on top of that. lol  Sooooo, while what I ate was bad for me, and I wouldn’t recommend my eating plan of the past week to anybody ever, I guess it could have been worse, I could have been eating my normal food plan and then eating all the extra bad for me food on top of that, instead I am just eating the bad for me food…talk about not getting all your vitamins and nutrients! lol All I got was processed sugar, lol.

So starting tomorrow is my New Leaf! I am back to tracking, back to eating as healthy as I am able to (this of course is dependent on what food I have in my fridge and cupboards) and basically back to being a good little Weight Watcher. 🙂 Oh, and I will be back to my normal exercising routine as dragon boating practice starts up again tomorrow and that’ll set me up for exercising throughout the week…one hopes… 😉

One weird thing, normally after I go on a food bender I look and feel way bigger. My tummy is larger, I don’t know if it’s cause it gets bloated from the sugar etc or cause I am gaining weight that quickly, but whatever the reason, it is noticeably bigger, and I feel laggier (I know that’s not a word! lol) – I usually have all kinds of side effects but this week…I haven’t had any! I still look the same, I still feel the same, you’d think I’d been eating normal all week for the lack of effect my eating and non exercising has had on me…don’t know what my body is up to but maybe my bad week won’t screw up my weight loss too much since so far it hasn’t created any noticeable changes…course, I’ll go hiking and boating tomorrow and probably almost die from not having the right type of food in my body to provide me with energy lol 😛 but that’ll be my own fault and serve me right! lol 😀

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