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Tag Archives: binge

A New Leaf

28 Aug

Last week I ate horribly, I don’t mean I ate something high in points on one day, I mean every freakin day I ate something way way way high in points, guaranteeing I dipped into flex points daily and only on one day did I exercise, and it wasn’t even my highest intensity exercise – it was just my hike. Crap. What seems to make it even worse is…I didn’t track! *hangs head in shame* aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I always track my food! ALWAYS! well…always when I am at home in my normal routine, when on vacation I usually cut myself some slack lol.  😉

Why did this happen? I’m not sure…which is weird…normally I have some idea for why I screw up but this time? I dunno…well, that’s not totally true, on Friday I know why I ate badly, I was so pissed off and hurt from that interview I had I dived into ice cream, and not even the healthy-ish ice cream (ya know, the Skinny Cow stuff) but I got the really bad stuff, I bought double chocolate drumsticks, omg, bad move! Of course, after eating the ice cream I felt so badly for what I stuffed in my face I went out at night to the hiking trail and kicked my own ass all the way around it, lol, the whole time I was internally berating myself for what I had eaten and calling myself lots of bad names, lemme tell ya, walking that trail when angry got me a way better time then when I normally walk it lol. When I got home I then popped in one of my many exercise dvds and continued to attempt to burn off some of the calories I’d ingested. So ok, there is Friday explained but the rest of it?

For those days…I only have partial ideas, none of them great. shrug. Monday it was raining so I couldn’t hike and there was no dragon boating (we had the day off since we had raced just two days prior), there are no boxerfit classes on monday so I really had nothing I could do – and yes, I am aware I could have used an exercise dvd but I figured I’d enjoy the rainy day by sitting inside with a book and a cup of tea and just relax since my weekend had been so freakin busy. Did I mention already last Sunday I was turned in to a zombie? Cause I was, and while yes that is totally fun it takes a lot of the day and weirdly enough kinda wears you out…I think cause you’re sitting so long in makeup that your body just goes sleepy. lol.

So Monday, it was a chilling/relaxing day, having one of those every now and then won’t kill a girl or her diet plan, er, healthy living regime lol, so that was ok. But then Tuesday…uh, wtf happened with Tuesday? I didn’t hike cause I was running late going to a friends to take her some stuff and I thought I’d hike afterwards but we ended up hanging out and by the time I got home it was too late and well, I’d been drinking a tad so really, exercise wasn’t on my to-do list right then. lol. For food that day I was doing ok until I was on my way home and I was starving so I stopped at a 7-11 and bought half the store, ugh, I ate billions of calories really late at night right before going to bed on a day when I didn’t exercise at all, just frickin brilliant. *rolls eyes*

Wednesday I was recovering, lol, my stomach would barely tolerate anything for quite a while which I was kinda grateful for cause I was mad at myself for what I ate the night before. I did almost nothing Wednesday cause of how crappy I felt, oh, and add to the hangover I got wicked bad cramps, sigh, so two reasons I didn’t go to boxerfit. Now that I think about it I don’t think I ate as badly on Wednesday as on the other days but that’s cause my stomach was all anti-food, not cause I had any kind of self restraint or willpower. I remember eating cereal…and some toast…I’m not sure what else went past my lips but whatever it might have been it most likely wasn’t healthy lol

Thursday was the audition that went awesome! I don’t eat a lot before going to auditions cause I don’t wanna feel bloated or digesty or anything so all I had before I went was some toast and water. Afterwards I didn’t get home for way more hours then I anticipated cause of the wait at the docs office so when I was on the way home I got a pizza, I was sooooo starved and for some reason I thought I’d have a treat since I did so well at the audition. I have to stop treating myself with food! What am I, a dog??? arg. And really, I’d eaten so badly earlier in the week that even if I decided treating myself with food was an ok option I so wouldn’t have deserved to eat something bad for me that day! Friday was the bad mean sucky day, I ended up eating the rest of the pizza and two of those double chocolate drumsticks, oh, and some pumpkin pie. Then I hiked and dvd exercised.

Saturday I…wtf did I eat yesterday? hmm…oh! I went to White Spot with KL, she did me a huge favour and came with me to pick up a tv I got for free from a guy on craigslist (the tv I’ve been using belongs to my former roomie and she’s picking it up at the end of the month so I’ve been trying to find a tv for way cheap to replace hers with and I got the worlds heaviest tv for free, all I had to do was pick it up, yah!) I was a good girl and ordered a Spot Salad with skinless boneless chicken breast on top, I get the dressing on the side and dip every third forkful into it so I barely use any dressing. Can I say, it’s freakin ridiculous it cost almost $4 extra to get the chicken! $4!!! Crazy! but I really needed the protein so there ya have it. That wasn’t so bad but later in the day I ate another drumstick and I believe I also had some of the pie, sigh.

Today I swore I was gonna turn over a new leaf, see, my food weeks start on Saturdays but I bombed yesterday so I figured I’d just move on past that and start fresh today. It seemed like a decent plan…well, yeah, I ate cereal before going out but KL convinced me we needed to get something to eat before we went to the place she is house sitting at to watch a movie. We were trying to get sushi but the only place open near the place she is house sitting is stupidly expensive so we went to a food court, where of course nothing is healthy, and I bought the cheapest thing I could find. Which, fyi, was a burger and fries with a pop. sigh. There was  only one healthy place there, a salad place, but it would’ve cost so much more then the burger and fries and I’m fairly poor right now so even if it’s not healthy I have to go with the cheapest. shrug. The burger and fries were yummy, and not as bad for me as I thought they would be, it’s a mom and pop type place so the burger was cooked on an actual grill and all the toppings were fresh and the fries weren’t greasy and actually tasted like potato…weird lol…but still, not healthy! Since I’ve been home I ate the last piece of pie, thank god that is now gone from my place! and I’m dousing myself with tea to trick my tummy into thinking it doesn’t want to eat. See, without my medication I can’t eat for like 5-7 hours before I go to bed (when I am on medication it’s more like 3-4 hours which is much easier to deal with).

I find that what I have been doing this past week is instead of eating a healthy meal and then also eating the ice cream or pie or whatever I am just eating the ice cream or pie or whatever, the healthy food has gone bye-bye. Part of it is cause I have to eat what I have, I can’t afford to buy groceries for a bit and that means I don’t have fresh produce anymore, and part of it is cause when I ate the drumsticks they were so bad for me that I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything else on top of that. lol  Sooooo, while what I ate was bad for me, and I wouldn’t recommend my eating plan of the past week to anybody ever, I guess it could have been worse, I could have been eating my normal food plan and then eating all the extra bad for me food on top of that, instead I am just eating the bad for me food…talk about not getting all your vitamins and nutrients! lol All I got was processed sugar, lol.

So starting tomorrow is my New Leaf! I am back to tracking, back to eating as healthy as I am able to (this of course is dependent on what food I have in my fridge and cupboards) and basically back to being a good little Weight Watcher. 🙂 Oh, and I will be back to my normal exercising routine as dragon boating practice starts up again tomorrow and that’ll set me up for exercising throughout the week…one hopes… 😉

One weird thing, normally after I go on a food bender I look and feel way bigger. My tummy is larger, I don’t know if it’s cause it gets bloated from the sugar etc or cause I am gaining weight that quickly, but whatever the reason, it is noticeably bigger, and I feel laggier (I know that’s not a word! lol) – I usually have all kinds of side effects but this week…I haven’t had any! I still look the same, I still feel the same, you’d think I’d been eating normal all week for the lack of effect my eating and non exercising has had on me…don’t know what my body is up to but maybe my bad week won’t screw up my weight loss too much since so far it hasn’t created any noticeable changes…course, I’ll go hiking and boating tomorrow and probably almost die from not having the right type of food in my body to provide me with energy lol 😛 but that’ll be my own fault and serve me right! lol 😀

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Been Gone A While

9 Aug

So I haven’t written a post in a while, I went to visit my parents and they don’t have wifi so even though I take my laptop I can’t use the internet there unless I actually plug the cable in to my laptop thereby taking the internet away from my parent’s computer. It’s not like I don’t have an opportunity to use their computer and get online, I did just that a couple times while there, but I’m there to visit and don’t want to spend an overly long time on the computer – I’d rather be visiting friends and/or family. Makes sense right?

So there I was in AB for a week and oh man did I make every possible attempt to kill myself with food *rolls eyes* I left here with all kinds of good intentions, I took exercise clothes and my runners, I took my skipping rope and my iPod dock so I could have some music playing while exercising, I intended to ask friends if they wanted to go for walks on trails instead of to restaurants when we hung out…seriously, all kinds of plans! Well, hmm, *clears throat*, I am sorry to report that uh, sigh, none of those intentions actually turned in to any kind of action. The most exercise I got was walking through a large park at a food festival so I could go from one food booth to the next lol. 😛

Oh, and to make it even better, the drive is 13 hours and I was hungover so do you think I wanted to eat the veggies and fruit I had packed for the drive? No, I soooo didn’t! I was that weird hungover combo of feeling sick and feeling starved all at once and all I wanted was fast food, kraft dinner and chocolate milk. lol. Sorta my standard hungover fare. 😛 On the drive to AB I managed to eat a homemade sandwich, A&W onion rings, a muffin from Tim Horton’s…and I think something else but I can’t quite remember…not the best start to a food week I have ever had.

Now, normally, if I have a really bad food day the next day I am extra careful with my food and I make sure I put extra effort into my exercising and while my attempt at righting my wrong may not counteract the caloric damage I did the previous day it makes me feel better and for me, that’s almost as important as the scale. Part of how I gauge how I am doing is how my tummy feels, does it feel hard? bloated? icky? fatter then normal? even more jiggly? or does it feel thinner? lighter? a tad smaller? If I have a bad food day and make it up the next day then usually by the end of the make up day my tummy is feeling good – not bloated or extra jiggly etc. Because of having so many high calorie days and no exercising for so long my tummy is feeling huge! I feel like it is sticking way farther out then it was two weeks ago and it’s for sure way more jiggly. ugh. My clothes still fit the same, sorta, but I swear they are clinging to my fat more tightly – it’s highly distressing since before this uh, let’s call it a binge shall we?, lol, I was doing fairly decently.

But that’s ok, a week of over eating and doing nothing even remotely close to exercise can be overcome, or at least corrected by getting back on track starting asap. I hiked today and ate fairly well…I kinda cheated on my food this evening, I was so hungry while my dinner was cooking I started to just eat anything I could find (a bad habit I thought I had broken, grr) so I ended up taking in some stupid calories but other then that I did ok. While normally I would be kicking my ass for the cheating I look at it as relearning my healthy habits. I had a whole week where I was eating out everyday and eating badly for pretty much every meal – something that goes against all the healthy habits I have spent all this time creating…makes some kind of twisted sense that I can’t just jump right back on to the healthy lifestyle without some sort of slip up. So, I ate healthy and exercised today with one food slip up. Tomorrow I will eat healthy and exercise with no food slip ups, or if there is a slip up it will be on a smaller scale and before you know it I’ll be doing just fine. 😀

We Are All Expendable

15 May

Never forget that you are expendable – easily replaced in many ways, hell, sometimes not even replaced just made obsolete. A sucky truth but a truth nontheless.

Normally I am much more upbeat on this blog (I think…) but the end of last week was highly stressed and this is the first I am getting to type since then so I’m channelling all that stress and negativity. sigh.

First part of my stress was my oldest nephew had surgery, he is 10 and not nearly old enough to have to be dealing with surgery in my opinion…course his first experience with surgery was when he was 7 months old so I guess he’s an old pro by now. He made it through just perfect so no worries there but for all of wednesday, well most of wednesday, I was freaking out in my head about what stage he was at, if he was ok, why hadn’t somebody called me with an update…all that kind of stuff. lol. I finally got the news he was out and in recovery and would be staying in overnight but mostly for observation not cause there were complications so yah!

Thursday, ah yes Thursday, still a tad stressed about the nephew, I was waiting to hear that he’d been discharged and how he handled the night – turns out he didn’t sleep well during the night, he had an upset tummy and sore throat, and for some reason the doc didn’t do rounds early enough or something so he didn’t get discharged, weird, but who knows what goes through doctor’s minds? *rolls eyes* I figured him staying overnight could only be good for his progress so hearing he wasn’t getting out for another night actually put me a bit at ease, lol, random huh?

But! That was not the end of the stress. I got a conference call from my boss in Toronto, due to budget cuts (stupid freakin economy and bad real estate market! arg!) my contract is not being renewed and guess who is out of a job as of May 27th?!?! Yup! Me! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Lemme tell ya, that call (which came through in the morning) did not set me up for a good rest of the day, I barely did any work the rest of the day cause ya know what, why the fuck should I? You’re gonna cut me cause you can’t manage to budget your department properly? Fine, I can’t stop that, but I can slow my work speed down sooooo much during my last two weeks that I get my own slight revenge. Let’s see how well your boss likes your productivity reports when I STOP working at peak efficiancy! RAWR!

phew, that rant felt good. teehee.

I only told my close friends at work about the deadline since I didn’t want to have to deal with the whole office knowing I was leaving in two weeks and me having to put a good face on for that length of time. I spent the rest of my work day writing up lists about why being laid off is a good thing, why I am ok with this, and how I will not panic because I am smart, capable, easily employable and will find a new job in no time at all…despite the economy and unemployment rates…

I really thought I was doing ok and handling the situation well, I went to a movie with KL that evening like planned and was all positive about it when telling her what happened…well…then things changed…

I gave her a ride home after the movie and after I dropped her off I stopped at a 7-11 and got 2 tocquitos, yum!, and a small slush – it actually wasn’t a splurge-eat-my-way-to-feeling-better-snack it was a I-didn’t-eat-dinner-and-was-so-hungry-I-was-about-to-be-sick-snack. lol. I believe tho that was the beginning of my downfall…I woke up friday when my alarm went off, didn’t feel like getting up and decided why should I get up? They obviously don’t care about me so why should I care about them? I called in sick.

Friday was spent sleeping, then eating a surprisingly healthy lunch, then dragon boating, then eating an uber unhealthy dinner…let’s see, I ate 3 ferrero rocher, 2 turkey wraps, a yogurt, 1/2 a box of Kraft Dinner, dessert breadsticks from Panago…oh, and a root beer. Yeah, calorie binge or what? or as KL would say “I ate my feelings”. huh, I just realized that read like all that was my dinner, that was what I ate all day. Can you imagine if I ate that all for dinner? I’d of burst! lol.

I made saturday a brilliant friggin day by stepping on the stupid scale, I gained over a pound – sorry, I don’t have my weight tracker beside me and for some reason (gee, I so wonder why? *rolls eyes*) I didn’t memorize the amount I gained. sigh. I know it was under 2lbs but over 1lb. Normally I’d wonder why my binge caused such a large weight gain when the rest of the week I was good points wise but stress will kill your weight loss – the more stress you feel the more your body not only doesn’t let you burn calories it holds onto them and actually makes you gain weight – pretty evil huh?

So now I am stressed about being unemployed as of the 27th of this month and I am stressed about gaining weight…vicious. sigh.

I managed to eat only my points saturday but went over today, the first 2 points I went over today were by accident, the second 2 points I went over by were because I neeeeeded chocolate and am still in enough of a funk I couldn’t bring myself to say no to, well, to myself. lol. I am hoping by tomorrow I will be farther out of my funk and better able to make smart choices about what I am eating…least I am starting to care about the choices I make so I figure that’s a start…

A Grown Up Dinner

2 Jul

I had a crappy end to my work day yesterday and got home later then normal. Now, yes I am an emotional eater but no I am not – weird how you can be both isn’t it? Sometimes when I have a crappy day I eat, other times when I have a crappy day I don’t eat. I am not sure why sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t -I just know I do both. lol.

By the time I left work yesterday I was starving (cause of the time) and all I wanted to do was EAT!! I had to force myself to not dive in to the cupboards at home and make some KD or something even worse, oy! I had however realized something like this might happen and I would need something quick, easy and healthy to make so that’s what I pulled out. 🙂

I had bought a Salmon Steak in Dill Sauce that can be put in the oven or the microwave (the microwave only takes 6 mins) and there you go, healthy chunk of protein. I paired it with some mashed sweet potatoes and mixed veggies.  I realized after I had it on the plate that I had made a dinner my mother would make – a real grown up dinner! I actually called to tell her cause it was such an amazing thing. lol.  This is not going to herald a permanent change in my eating habits mind you; I will for the most part continue to eat the way I have been but the dinner was yummy enough that I may just duplicate it sometime…not too soon though! lol

Yesterday I ate:

3/4 cup Special K Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1/2 serving whole wheat pasta = 2.5 points

1/4 cup Knorr alfredo sauce = 2 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

2 triangles Laughing Cow Light Cheese = 1 point

1 cup cherries = 1 point

1 cup mashed yams = 3 points

1 Salmon Steak = 3 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

2 maple cookies = 4 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

This totals 22.5 points – I didn’t realize until today that I forgot to add in to my daily points the 1 tsp of margarine I used in the mashed yams so really I used 23.5 which is a pisser cause I didn’t want to use any flex points but there you have it.

On a plus note it was Cake Day at work, once a month at work cakes are brought in to celebrate whoever had a bday that month. There was a Dairy Queen ice cream cake and a 4 layer strawberry shortcake; they both looked amazing! I checked the nutritional info for DQ ice cream cakes before going to the lunch room to see if I could eat a slice, or at least a portion of a slice. Well! Those cakes are so ridiculously bad for you! It’s just ice cream for heavens sake! If it is an 8″ round ice cream cake 1/8 of the cake is 12 points, if it’s a 10″ cake 1/10 of the cake is 15 points! Absolutely NOT!!! I still went to the lunch room for the socializing part of cake day but I didn’t eat any of the cake. The weird part is I didn’t really want any and I didn’t feel deprived that I wasn’t eating any, shrug, I was pleasantly full from lunch and at the end of my lunch had some fruit so I had some natural sugar in me – guess my body didn’t want the bad-for-me sugar that was in the cake. Crazeeeee!

Now, for today, Happy Canada Day btw…

I slept in ridiculously late, so late I won’t even put the time on here because it was that late and when I finally got up I was starved. I find whenever I miss a meal now I feel more starved then I used to; I think this means my stomach is now used to eating on a regular basis and when it misses a meal it notices more. It’s kinda annoying but oh well.

So my food today, I wanted something huge to eat when I got up but I totally went overboard. Ugh. I had some cereal and milk while I was boiling then pan frying some baby potatoes. Once the potatoes were getting close to ready I made some eggs and with that paired some cheese and toast…can you believe that!?!?! I realized afterwards it was some werid kind of binge, the likes of which I used to do but thought I had stopped. The only difference is I felt worse at the end instead of better like I used to.  It left me feeling gross and not wanting to do anything as a result. Then, when the day was mostly over and I was home again I realized I had to eat something else since I had a tonne of points left but my overeating before made me not want anything. sigh. I think I will have to force myself to eat properly on days off cause when I don’t it just messes me up.

My food today:

3/4 cup Red Berry Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

5 baby potatoes = 1 point

2 pcs toast = 2 points

2 eggs scrambled = 4 points

30 grams marble cheese = 3 points

1 pepperoni pizza pop = 6 points

1 cup 1% milk = 2 points

1 nectarine = 1 point

1 cup cherries = 1 point

This is exactly 23 points used. I did the same mistake as yesterday though, I forgot to add in the small things used when making the food. I had 2 tsp margarine on the toast so thats 2 points, and I didn’t add that in so when I was looking at how many points I had left to use I chose the pizza pop because of how high in points it was and figured I’d top that off with two pieces of fruit since I hadn’t had any yet today. If I hadn’t eaten the fruit I would have been even on my points for the day, as it is I am two over, I think though that it’s ok to be two over today because if I hadn’t had the fruit my food eaten would have had nothing fresh.

That means that so far this week I am, what, 3 points in to my flex points? Annoying but dealable.

On  a side note I totally wanted to try on my pants that are my test for it I have lost weight but made myself not do it cause that is a once a week only thing – I tend to get obsessive when trying to lose weight so I made a rule I can only weigh myself and try on those pants once a week (on saturdays), otherwise I’d be checking the numbers and trying those damn pants on multiple times a day and thats just demoralizing. lol

Zzzzzzzzz

25 Jun

I don’t know about you but by Thursday I am usually ready to crash. Like most people I don’t get a proper nights sleep on weeknights; if I can get to sleep I usually end up in bed late and then I have to get up early for work – aaaah, the wonders of our society. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just go to bed when you want and get up when you want and show up at work at a good time for you without the very high probability you’ll be fired? But since this will never happen I guess I will continue to work within the confines of the rules.  🙂

Not all healthy eating plans talk about sleep, some programs just assume you know how much sleep to get or maybe they just don’t think of it as a topic that should be brought up. shrug. Who knows. All I know is there are conflicting rules about sleep, just like with water. As with the water rule stating 6 to 8 glasses a day there are many reports that say you need 6 to 8 hours of sleep…it’s like a conspiracy, lol, what’s with these numbers? Who says we all need 6 to 8 hours anyways? Who are the elusive “they” we always quote? I know that if left to my own devices I can sleep way longer then 8 hours and be quite happy about it. 🙂 Sleep is easily one of my favourite activities, I think it ties in to my laziness. lol.

So, if I can sleep for 10 hours every night and feel good but feel sleep deprived on 8 hours wouldn’t the 6 to 8 hour rule be wrong for me? I don’t know, and since I am not a sleep doctor I don’t have an answer and am not going to go do a bunch of research to find the answer. I do know that by thursday evenings I am ready to drop and always end up going to bed earlier then normal happily savouring the experience of being cozy in my bed.

I know that not getting enough sleep can hamper your weight loss attempts; our bodies produce the hormone Leptin while we sleep. Leptin is the hormone that tells us when are full – it signals the brain to release hormones that suppress hunger. If you don’t get enough sleep other ways you can get Liptin in to your body is by eating fatty fish like salmon, mackerel or sardines – it’s ironic isn’t it that to help keep your weight down you eat fatty fish? lol. Did you also know that sleeping too much can hamper your weight loss attempts? This I didn’t know, I only started hearing it recently. Apparently sleeping too much messes up your hormones and you retain weight, what’s with that? Sleep too little don’t lose weight, sleep too much don’t lose weight. It seems we are all walking a fine line between too little and too much and I doubt most people are able to find that middle. So maybe that 6 to 8 hours is a good guide, like the water, a strong recommendation that you have to tweak to suit your body and lifestyle. I am learning that no matter what plan you are on to try to lose weight it will have to be tweaked to suit your body and your needs. Not everyone needs 8 glasses of water and not everyone will need 8 hours of sleep – some will work better on more, some on less, it’s all a matter of trying things out till you find what makes your body work it’s best.

Now, on to a little confession, I totally forgot to eat the rest of my points last night! Ack! So, I cheated, kinda, but in the reverse way I thought I would. lol. Who’d of thought the first time I cheat in this plan it’s by not eating enough?? I meant to eat my remaining 6 points, I even knew what I was going to eat! Two Maple Leaf cookies and 1 cup of 1% milk, I was so going to enjoy it and what happened? It went out of my mind and by the time I remembered it was 10:30pm and I was so not wanting food at that point. Meh, not much I can do about it now. For those of you who don’t know, weight watcher points are not transferable, if you don’t eat all your points on wednesday you can’t roll them over to thursday and eat extra that day, it’s not like your airtime minutes for your cell. If you don’t use them they are lost to you forever! Ok, little too dramatic there. lol.

Today I made sure I used all my points, before I got on the comp I got my milk and my two cookies and had them ready and waiting. It was nice, who doesn’t like the last thing they eat for the day to be a little treat? Mmm Mmm Mmm. 🙂

I didn’t cheat today, used all my points and am not full but not hungry which is a novel experience that I am still getting used to. After dinner last night I realized that I wasn’t hungry but neither did I have that overly full slightly icky feeling I normally have after eating. My portions were way out of control! I didn’t realize how out of control until I started measuring everything, omg, no wonder I got so big! When did I start thinking an entire pot of pasta with a creamy sauce was a dinner portion?? *rolls eyes* No more! I had some hungry times during the day but that was mostly because I was so busy at work I didn’t get my mid morning snack so my stomach was cranky, lol, it seems to be getting used to a schedule and varying it makes it pout…can stomachs pout? Hmm, maybe it’s more of a ‘rebel’, yeah, the growling unhappy noises is more like a rebellion then a pout, pouting is quieter. So, except for the minor rebellion where it started yelling at me the day went well. I was pretty hungry when I got home cause I worked OT so my dinner was late too…I’m sure my stomach thinks I am soooo mean, lol, what I ate was a weird mix of things cause I was getting rid of left overs. Little bit of this, little bit of that, whatever I could scrounge up to make a meal.

You may have noticed I eat things that most people probably wouldn’t think of eating when trying to lose weight, for instance the pasta. Well, weight watchers is supposed to let you eat anything you want as long as you fit it into your points. I could try to make it sound like I am really testing that out by eating non diet type foods but in reality I refuse to not eat the food I already have in the house from before I decided to do weight watchers. I am not getting rid of it or letting it just sit there taking up space and eventually going past it’s expiry date all to appease my desire to get thin and hot. shrug. So for now, I am eating weird combos of things and as my cupboards get cleared out I will bring in to the house healthier options…course, I will always have Kraft Dinner in the house, I would never give that up completely, just couldn’t do it. What I did do though was buy the microwavable kind cause then I just make one bowlful at a time instead of an entire box cause you know if I make that whole box I am gonna have a binge and eat most of it in one sitting…I know, disgusting, but I am sure you have some weird food thing that to others sounds disgusting. 😛 It’s weird though that everytime I did that I felt horrible afterwards, in every way, I felt bad physically – my stomach felt disgusting and hurt, I felt bad mentally – I’d totally beat myself up about it, I’d feel bad energy wise – my poor body would be putting so much work in to digesting I could do pretty much nothing but sit there…and yet, despite all these negative feelings I would have after binging on KD I still did it!! I’d convince myself that “this time I will just eat one bowl” and it never happened, even as I said that to myself I knew I was gonna eat way more. It’s like some weird self-punishment or something. shrug. Ah well, can’t do that now cause no way would all those points fit in to my day! lol.

My food today was:

3/4 cups Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

tea = o points

1 banana = 2 points

1 salad = 0 points

1 hard boiled egg = 2 points

1 tbsp salad dressing = 1 point

2 triangles of cheese = 1 point

1 cup grapes = 1 point

1 nectarine = 1 point

1/4 cup Maple flavoured baked beans = 1

1/4  cup+ 1/8 cup brocolli cheese pasta = 3

2 pieces of toast = 3 points

2 tsps margarine = 2 points

2 Maple cookies = 4 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

There are some notes to be made about some of the foods from today. The salad was from a place called The Salad Loop, here is the website for them http://www.saladloop.com They are this great place where you go around buffet style and pick whatever you want in your salad and the cost is based on weight. For a little over $6 I got lots of lettuce (some leaves didn’t look totally fresh but it didn’t kill me so whatev), some green and red peppers, corn, a hard boiled egg, mushrooms, a cherry tomato, cabbage and a small amount of salad dressing. Sure, I could have spent the same amount of money and gotten a burger fries and a drink but this is the sacrifice that must now be made, the same if not more money for food that doesn’t look nearly as yummy or filling. It wasn’t a bad tasting salad though, I wish I hadn’t missed the peas, those would have been nice to put on, and I didn’t notice the meat selections till too late either but now that I know how to better navigate the tables I am sure I will do better next time I go.

The triangles of cheese, yum! Those are The Laughing Cow brand of cheese, light of course.

yummy and so low in points!

I already had some just cause I love them and when I checked the points value I found out I can eat 2 wedges for only 1 point! Amazing! I used to only ever eat one wedge at a time because I thought it tasted so good it must be uber bad for me but now I know better. I have never had the regular, I just automatically bought the light and I think it rocks, it is also cheaper then the regular, I don’t know why but everytime I buy it it costs less, and not like it’s on sale, thats just the regular pricing. shrug. It’s fine with me! I would totally recommend them. 🙂 They helped make my salad not feel so insubstantial. I didn’t put it on the salad, they don’t cut very easily, but ate it on the side. I have also (at home) tried to cut it in to little pieces, I usually get blobs but then I put the blobs in to a hot bowl of soup, usually a spicy kind of soup, it’s a good combo cause it doesn’t really melt, it just becomes softer and it helps make the spicy not so spicy.

Tomorrow is Fiesta Friday at work, tacos here I come!!…with a nice big salad on the side…;)

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