Tag Archives: fat

Belated Post

6 Dec

Ok, so I didn’t write on the weekend, it’s not that I didn’t want to it’s that I was busy and just couldn’t find the time. Now sure, you are probably saying “what? you couldn’t find ten minutes to sit down, grab your laptop and start typing? ha!” and well sure, I did find a bit of time here and there to sit but when I did that it was cause I was exhausted and the last thing I wanted to do was try to come up with something entertaining to write. 😛

So, let’s recap…starting with the most important part of any weekend…

WEIGH IN DAY:

This was saturday, earlier in the day then normal but that’s cause I hadda get up and get going. I was concerned that weighing in early would hamper my results but oh well. I was hoping for anything above a loss of 0.2 pounds…yes you read that right. If I could manage to lose 0.2 pounds I would hit the 20 pounds lost mark so oh how I was crossing fingers. lol.

I stepped on the dreaded scale, saw the number and just froze…didn’t believe it at all! The whole time I was showering and getting ready for the day I was in a daze cause that just couldn’t be right…could it? Oh hell yeah it was! I lost…ready? I lost 2.6 Pounds!!! In one week! This brought me to a total weight loss of…21.6 Pounds!!! wOOt! Yah! Happy dance anybody? Not only did I hit the 20 pounds lost mark I went past it by a whole 1.6 pounds, awesomeness! 😀 😀 😀

Happy Dance!

This weigh in totally set the mood for the weekend, a mood of “hells yea! I can do it!” lol.

The rest of saturday was spent Christmas shopping and getting supplies for my holiday baking that was also happening over the weekend; a day of happy news then shopping? Can’t beat that!

Sunday was spent baking, I did some of the prep work the evening before and ended up with two yule log cakes, gingerbread cookies and meringues. I was also supposed to have peppermint bark but something went horribly wrong when the chocolate was melting and it had to be thrown out, ugh. What a waste of money. Sucky. But everything else turned out great! I had never made gingerbread before so I was worried but the recipe I found was great and everybody loved them. I was told many times they look just like the cookies you find in bakeries – apparently I rock at decorating cookies? lol. Who knew!

Up until this year I thought everyone knew what a yule log cake was, the only reason I made two this year was cause one of the girls overheard me talking about this cake to someone and had no idea what I was talking about…say wha?! How do you not know what a yule log cake is? *confused face* but I have encountered more and more people who don’t know, sigh, so here is what it is: a thin chocolate cake that when it is baked you put on a clean towel dusted with cocoa then you roll it up, it stays rolled until completely cool, then, you unroll it and spread the filling on what will be the inside of the cake (this filling was whipped cream and chocolate chips), then you roll it back up and put chocolate frosting on the outside. The frosting is a bit thicker then normal so when you spread it on it gets a textured look, like a yule log. There, now you can’t say you don’t know what it is! lol. huh, I should’ve taken a picture to show you, ah well, next year! 😛

there we go, I googled an image of one that looks similar to my version. Yule Log Cake - Yum!

So one cake went to my landlord and his family, along with some of the cookies and meringues, and the other cake and most of the cookies and meringues went to work with me today for the office – I say ‘most’ cause I left some behind of the cookies and meringue for the roomie. It’d be mean to do all that baking and not give her some – the whole place smelled like gingerbread and chocolate cake, even when I woke up this morning! lol.

Uh yeah, so that was my sunday, baking. 😀

Today was just a normal day at work, nothing really special there, we had a new instructor for my Zumba class tho. I hate new people, I mean really hate them! Once I get used to an instructor or teacher or whatever I really struggle to deal when the person is replaced…even if it is just for one class like this evenings Zumba. I don’t know why it is, I’m just odd like that. So, this replacement, she was pretty good. She does more exercise moves then dance moves and I don’t know that it was harder but because it was totally different moves it worked me out in a different way which is definitely good. I am sooooo gonna feel that exercise tomorrow! lol. Which is how it should be, right? 🙂

When I got home and made dinner, well, I’d swear that was the best dinner ever – which is another way I judge how well a workout went. I know! Weird! But listen…if I don’t work all that hard then I don’t enjoy my dinner as much, it’s like…well, if I work hard I am more deserving of a really good meal and I have worked up an appetite so things just taste better anyways. shrug. Hey, it works for me! So, my burger tonight, YUM! 😀 lol

Today I ate:

50 grams shreddies = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 6″ Turkey Sub from Subway = 5 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 hamburger patty = 4 points

1 weight watchers hamburger bun = 2 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

baby spinach leaves, ketchup, mustard = 0 points

cooked veggies = 0 points

1 piece bread = 1 point

1/2 tbls Nutella = 1 point

1/2 tbls light peanut butter = 1 point

So that puts me at 22 points eaten, I have to eat 2 more points so that I have eaten my exercise points. I actually had grabbed a bag of Thinsations Yogurt Covered Pretzels but I am really not feeling them. shrug. I don’t want anything else to eat,  ugh, I am full! But…I am s’posed to eat my exercise points. sigh. I wouldn’t care all that much about being under by just 2 points but yesterday I kinda made a boo boo, lol, I only ate 14 points the whole day. *cringes* I didn’t mean to undereat by that much, honest! I was just so wrapped up in baking I lost track of the time and when I cook or bake I tend to have no appetite, shrug, so by the time I was done everything and having a little rest it was late and I was tired and I wasn’t even thinking of food, and well, that’s how I managed to eat only 14 points. heh.

I will find something little to snack on just so I can say I used the points up…for real! 🙂

Tomorrow I doubt I will be posting, our work Christmas party is tomorrow (yeah, I know, on a tuesday, how exciting, NOT!) but anyways, the party is tomorrow and there is no time to go home before it so we’ll all be going after work to the restaurant together then who knows what time I’ll be getting home. shrug. Last year I wasn’t home till way late so we’ll see how this year goes! 😀

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Late Lunch = Unhappy Tummy

3 Dec

Now, it’s not like I sit there with a clock and time out every morsel I am going to eat. I know that I am supposed to eat small meals every 3 hours or so but really, who can do that? Not people who have to work that’s who! lol.

At work I tend to eat brekkie around 8:30am, have a mid morning snack of fruit around 11am then lunch at 1pm and finally dinner at home. It works. 🙂 Today however, that did not happen. I got my breakfast on time but wasn’t really feeling my mid morning snack of a banana – which is all good cause while I normally eat a morning snack it’s not a big deal if I don’t. I really should have eaten the banana. I didn’t get lunch till 3pm, 3 pm!! I thought I was gonna die I was so hungry! What, in all my brilliance did I do when I finally got my lunch? I practically inhaled it. Ugh.

We all know by now that eating fast is bad, sigh. You tend to over eat if you eat too quickly and eating fast causes digestion issues. By the time I was done eating I was already feeling a bit uncomfie in my tummy, about ten minutes after I was at a tummy ache level, ugh. Nobody likes a tummy ache! It kinda sucks when you know what caused it and it’s your own fault, lol, cause really, who ya gonna blame?

I thought it would pass relatively quick but it didn’t, I was left feeling achey and uncomfie the rest of the day. By the time I got home, around 6pm or so it seemed to have past and I was quite hungry. This struck me as odd, I thought I wouldn’t be hungry until later since I ate lunch later, but meh, if my tummy is hungry at it’s normal dinner time that’s cool with me. So I ate and what happened? As soon as I had food in me the uncomfie sensation was back, wtf?! I of course indulged in my cure-all, which means I had a cup of tea lol, it didn’t help, sadness. 😦

I don’t know why my tummy is so achey today, I blame it on the late lunch and eating it way too quickly, shrug, so it’s my own fault – which I think makes it suck more. lol. I have one more point of food today and I s’pose I could eat a one point werther’s chocolate but my tummy is so unhappy I really don’t want to put anything in it, shrug. Guess today will be a 1 point under day. 🙂

Oh, so tomorrow is weigh in day…nervous! I really want to do well since if I do well that will mean I have hit the 20lbs lost mark, so think good thoughts for me! 😀 😀 😀

I was watching a weight loss show the other day and the lady trying to lose weight started at, hmmm, crap, I can’t remember the starting weight but by the end she had lost like 17lbs (in 6 weeks! bitch. 😛 ) and I was kinda cranky that it only took her 6 weeks to lose 17lbs and it took me waaaaaaay longer to lose that much. So, when she was at her lower weight she is of course crazed happy and exclaiming about it and I realized, that yeah, she lost 17lbs but I actually weigh less then her, how weird is that?! I never weigh less then anybody is seems but on weight loss tv shows lately I will think “oh, I weigh around what that person weighs” but then I stop and think about it and realize I don’t…I weigh less…wow. It’s such an amazing feeling. I know I still have a long way to go to get to my goal but seeing that I weigh less then a bunch of people who are on tv to lose weight, well, wow.

Oh, btw, the tv shows I was watching are Bulging Brides and The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp…if you haven’t seen them, watch ’em! They are good! They are hosted by Tommy Europe and Nadine Somebody-Or-Other. He is the trainer, she is the food person. Together they whip people (mostly women) in to shape. 🙂

The Bulging Brides get 6 weeks, the Last Ten Pounds people get 4 weeks…they get amazing results…well, as long as the person does what they are told! lol. It’s never an extreme plan either, it’s watching your calories and exercise and each show Tommy tailors the exercise regime for that person. I like watching it cause I get ideas of different exercises I can do and what benefit they will have for me. 🙂  Well, that and it’s fun to watch someone else suffer, lol. 😛

Today I ate:

50 grams shreddies = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk =1 point

1 Italian Sausage and Penne Bowl = 5 points

1 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

mixed raw vegg = 0 points

1 cup Maple Baked Beans = 4 points

2 pieces toast = 2 points

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

Total points eaten = 20.

So, yah? I am gonna count it as a win, lol, since I was worried I’d go over my points today cause of messing up my eating schedule. I think being 1 point under is way better then being over – some people might argue against that, and yes, I know why going over isn’t the end of the world, what with flex points an all. But the night before weigh in, what can I say, I prefer to be under eating by 1 point then going over, so sue me. 😛

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Another Meal of Cat Food, yuch!

2 Dec

So, remember waaaaaaay back when I posted about my first experience eating tuna? I hated it and compared it to eating cat food – not that I have eaten cat food (ew!) but the smell and texture were so cat-food-like that I swear it’s the exact same thing! Well, at some point in my grocery shopping I was an idiot and bought canned flaked turkey meat…I don’t know what made me think this was a good idea?? Oy!

I was stuck for dinner ideas this evening so I figured “open the canned turkey, how bad can it be?” the answer to that is WAY BAD!! Horrific! Who eats this crap? *rolls eyes*

can you say "epic fail"?

I drained it, mixed it with some light miracle whip, stuck in on a weight watchers hamburger bun with a cheese slice, some baby spinach and mustard…all of those ingredients but the turkey mix was good. Blech. I suppose it might have been better if I had some onion or something to put in the mix but I didn’t and really, all that would have done was slightly disguise the icky flavour that is canned turkey. 😛

It was a very gross dinner that was non-enjoyable, sigh. Since I have to be so careful with what I eat and how much I try to make sure the food I eat is something I really enjoy. Obviously not rich-calorie-dense-all-my-fave-foods level of enjoy but things I am happy to be tasting and eating. The lists I write down showing what I eat generally look really boring, and repetitive and probably a lot of you wonder what the hell I am doing eating such un-entertaining foods so often…and no wonder I get so excited about subway when I eat baked beans all the time (which actually, I haven’t eaten in a while but was planning to take tomorrow for lunch, lol) but for me, I find that eating the same thing often works best for me, I know what the points are going to be, I know how filled I am going to feel and for how long…it is predictable – which, yes, can be boring, but for right now on this journey seems to be just what I need.

 Well, that and I am kinda poor so it’s not like I can buy ingredients I don’t normally have to make one dish that I may or may not like. shrug.

I try to eat something new every week…it’s not always a completely-new-to-me food item but maybe a lower calorie version of something, or a new way of cooking something…just something! It not only gives me something different to eat and attempt to cook but it gives me something to write about. lol. Sometimes it’s a new frozen dinner flavour, or a light hot dog or mini breton crackers…it can be anything! 🙂

The new thing I ate today was a new flavour of Lean Cuisine, it was Mango Currey Chicken, one of the Lean Cuisine Spa meals. It was…ok. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it exactly but there was cauliflower in it and I really don’t like that vegetable…altho, you couldn’t taste it cause of the currey flavour, lol, but also, there were raisins in it. Ack! I don’t eat raisins! Ever! I can’t stand the little buggers! They are worse then the canned turkey…which I just realized is a new food to me so hey, two new foods in one post…neither one of them getting a positive review…oooh, bad food week! haha. Anyways, raisins, in the currey. sigh. I picked the raisins out and managed to eat the cauliflower which may not sound all that impressive but trust me, it is. 😀 Thing is, it’s crazed busy at work so I ate at my desk today instead of taking an official lunch break but the office rule is you can’t eat anything smelly at your desk. Uh, hello, currey is smelly…way smelly! So I had to scarf it down in the kitchen and then go back to my desk and eat the rest of my lunch there (raw veggies, yogurt and cheese). Not the ideal lunch situation but hey, it could always be worse!

My lesson today? Always read the ingredients list cause you never know what is hidden in your food! Today it was cauliflower and raisins, who knows what it could be tomorrow! dun dun dun…teehee

Today I ate:

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 timbit = 2 points

1 Lean Cuisine = 5 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 weight watchers hamburger bun = 2 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1/6 of the can flaked turkey mixed with 1 tbls light miracle whip = 1 point

baby spinach, mustard = 0 points

20 mini breton = 2 points

Total points eaten 21! 😀 Yah!

Now I know, I kinda snuck that timbit in there but they were brought in to work and oh man I love timbits. lol. I usually (if I’ve been good) get one on the weekends but I go through the drive thru (I know! so lazy) so I can’t (1) be tempted to buy more cause I can see all the choices and (2) once I have eaten it I am away from the Tim Horton’s and can’t buy a second…see, a method to my seemingly lazy decision! 😛 These ones however were just sitting there, near my desk and after I had my one I sooooo wanted a second! I didn’t take one (obviously!) but I sure wanted it. On the weekends when I get one, I am always content with the 1 and never want a second so I think it was cause they were close at hand, that’s why I wanted a second. That’s so not cool. Does that mean when the really tempting stuff is around I am always going to be fighting to not cave in? I somehow thought it would be easier by now…I wonder where I got that dumb idea from? lol.

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I Hated Today, Grr!

1 Dec

Today was such a crappy day at work, ugh, it felt like it was never going to end and it was one disaster after another. Argh! I can’t really go in to deets about what was goin on cause (1) it’s a specialized industry and unless you are in it you won’t understand the terminology and (2) I more then likely signed some kind of document saying I can’t gab. *rolls eyes*

By the end of day, hell, not even the end of day, about 2 hours in to it I was dreaming about throwing my boss out the window (we’re 24 flights up!) or banging my head against a wall so many times I could have the next day off work. 😛 Neither of which I have done…yet! lol. This week is just a crap fest and today was one more pile to add to it.

Lunch was catered today, I had forgotten that so I took a Lean Cuisine, oops. Normally I would have said no to the catered food and just eaten my lunch but I was cranky and decided to eat the free food. It wasn’t too bad – which is part of why I figured it’d be ok, not like it was pizza or anything! There were fresh made sandwiches, pasta salad, gourmet green salad (I swear that’s what they called it! lol), cheese n cracker platter and a selection of cookies brownies and tarts. I had half a sandwich (egg with raw veg, grilled veg, pesto sauce on a grainy bread), 4 penne noodles (yup, I counted) there was some kind of crumbly cheese in the pasta salad and a tomato based um, not sauce but flavouring I guess you’d call it. I also had some cheese, some garlic crackers, some raw veggies and a bite of what turned out to be a very dry not all that flavourfull brownie. So, it sounds like a lot but you have to take in to account the portions I ate. I didn’t think I ate too much but when I was estimating the points after I got home, uh yeah, I was over my points for the day by 1 point. Oops. I may have counted wrong but I always prefer to count high then low so, shrug, I am over. Luckily I didn’t feel hungry so I figured the higher pointed lunch filled me up…I think tho that is flawed cause it is now almost 9pm and I am hungry. sigh.

It’s too late in the day to eat a meal, and I don’t want to have some mindless snack, shrug, so I figure I’ll do the unthinkable and go to bed way early. I know, bed by 10pm – weirdness! But this way I will be unconscious and not aware I am hungry, lol. I really don’t want to go even farther in to my flex points like I know I probably should be doing in this situation and frankly, I am to tired and cranky to really care. *rolls eyes* Ya know, I thought this week was going to go so much smoother cause it started off so well! Ah well, maybe it’ll start getting better from here…cross your fingers for me! 😀

Today I ate:

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

Catered Lunch

    – 1/2 sandwich = 3 points (?)

       ( – grainy bread, 1/2 hard boiled egg, veggies, pesto sauce)

    – 4 penne noodles = 1 point

    – 6 garlic crackers = 2 points

    – 4 pieces of cheese = 8 points

    – 1 small bite brownie = 0 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 medium slush = 2 points

Total points eaten = 22.

Keeping in mind today is all about estimating numbers so I could be counting too high or too low, shrug, no real way to know. I know I shouldn’t of had the slush but I had to stop to buy skytrain tickets on the way home and again, in a cranky mood, I figured screw it. shrug.

It’s not a good mind set to let myself get in. I used to over eat when stressed or way upset, I think a lot of people do, and while I didn’t do that this time I also didn’t control myself as much as I normally do. I have decided to look at it as progress though. I mean, there once was a time I would have stopped at McD’s or gone and gotten a donut or come home and made Kraft Dinner or…well, you get the idea, but this time, I didn’t. Sure, I drank the slush but that’s 2 points compared to the 15 points and higher I could have eaten…so, that’s progress right? Just nod and smile so I can pretend you agree with me, k? K. 😀

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Inflated Tummy and Tent-Like Clothes

30 Nov

So, when I am at home you’d never know I lost weight. I wear all the same lounging-around-the-apartment clothes as before which were oversized way back then. I like baggy clothes when I am chillin at home and sleeping, I don’t feel self-conscious because I figure sure it looks like I am wearing a tent-like item but at least you can’t for sure see my rolls. lol. I just am not comfortable in form fitting (aka tight) clothes. Also, I feel like oversized comfy clothes are warmer then form fitting comfy clothes…I don’t know why, since I’m pretty sure this thinking is wrong, but whatev, it’s in my head and I see no reason to change that thinking pattern. 😛

The thing is, sometimes I will catch a glance of just my face in a small mirror and think, huh, my face might have slimmed down a bit. I am not sure it did, I mean come on it’s my face, not like I can exercise it, but maybe my cheekbones are a bit more prominent? But then I go to the washroom and see myself in front of a larger mirror and there is this possibly slimmed down face on top of a body wearing a tent that has no shape. It’s weird, and always make me think I haven’t really changed at all and my whole face slimming theory is crap.

It’s not demoralizing exactly, cause I know the clothes are oversized, but it can mess with my head a bit. Since a big part of weight loss has to do with your head and where it’s at, this messing with it can cause some issues. I think because I am aware of the screwy-ness of my thinking I am safe from it reeking havoc with my eating plan but sometimes it would be nice to catch a glimpse of myself in front of a mirror and not think “oh there I am in my tent” lol. My way around this is every night I indulge in a weird routine. *rolls eyes* After I have washed up I tug my shirt up a bit and turn to the side so I can see my tummy in the mirror, then I turn to look at the front view and the back view…just to see how the budha belly, back fat and side rolls are looking…uh, btw, it’s not looking all that great. 😛 Most of my weight is coming off my ass and upper thighs, weird, I know! shrug.

This is perhaps the worst time of day to do something like this, lol, after all, it’s been an entire day of eating and sitting and whatever-ing so I am…what’s a nice way to put this…inflated. 😛 I think this little routine has a higher chance of messing with my head then wearing the tent-like clothes and yet, not stopping. *rolls eyes*

So what did I eat today…

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 bowl weight watchers soup = 0 points

1 weight watchers english muffin = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 point

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 cup Fire Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato soup = 2 points

1 open faced sandwich

    – 1 weight watchers hamburger bun toasted = 2 points

    – 2 cheese slices = 2 points

    – 4 slices deli turkey = 1 point

    – baby spinach and mustard = 0 points

3 Lifestyle shortbread cookies = 3 points

1 Werther’s chocolate candy = 1 point

Total points eaten 21, yah! 🙂

I ate a bit earlier then normal, well, ok, that’s not accurate, dinner was around my normal time but my evening snack was early which means I got hungry again and have no more points. Durn. So, for the last 2 hours or so my tummy has been having low level grumbling and  I refuse to even look at the kitchen let alone go in it for fear I will break down and eat something. Sucky-ness. I wonder if my tummy will look less inflated cause I am hungry…hmm, something to check for in my night time routine! hehe.

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A Better Week So Far

29 Nov

This week is already starting off better then last week, Yah! 😀 😀

It’s Monday so I had Zumba class after work, I didn’t get to go last week cause of being sick so it was really great getting to go this week. 🙂 There were new moves and new music this week and the ab section was all standing up exercises this time, normally the ab section is done on the floor, change is good! It makes it fun to go cause you know it’s not gonna be the same moves an music every week and it keeps your body from losing the benefits of the exercise, screw you muscle memory! ha! 😉

Also, I have eaten well for 3 days straight, no flex points for moi! I did eat my exercise points tho, but that’s ok. 🙂

So, today I ate:

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 small banana = 1 point

1 green apple = 1 point

1 bowl weight watchers veggie soup = 0 points

1 weight watchers english muffin = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia Yogurt = 2 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 Cup Fire Roasted Sweet Pepper and Tomato soup = 2 points

1 open faced sandwich = 5 points

    – 1 weight watchers hamburger bun toasted (2)

    – 4 slices deli turkey slices (1)

    – 2 cheese slices (2)

    – baby spinach leaves, mustard (0)

1 piece bread = 2 points

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

4 Lifestyles shortbread cookies = 4 points

Exercise Points Earned = 3 points

Total points eaten = 24, but that’s all good cause that’s 21 daily points and 3 exercise points. Perfecto! 😀

I totally copied my dinner today from a friend’s lunch at work that she had last week. lol. It’s an open faced sandwich with cheese, turkey slices, some baby spinach leaves on top and a bit of mustard – practically a work of art! It is soooo good. 🙂 I had it yesterday too. I have never been one to embrace open faced sandwiches, I don’t know why really, I just prefer my sandwiches closed, shrug, but since turkey is so low points wise and the spinach leaves are zero it made sense to do the sandwich open. I should’ve taken a picture it was that good! lol

Oh, so, I kinda cheated on sunday – not food wise! But scale wise. lol. I cheat with the scale so often it’s almost ridiculous. *rolls eyes* My rule is I weigh myself on saturdays, no sooner no later, but quite often I weigh myself on sunday as well cause I don’t like what I saw on saturday and I want to see if the next day is better. lol. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. shrug. Well, here’s what happened this past weekend. Saturday I weighed in and was the exact same as the previous week, sucky but my own fault, sigh, well, on sunday I was down 0.8 pounds, yah! That means that as of sunday I am 0.2 pounds away from hitting the 20 pounds lost mark, wOOt! However, I decided to not count the 0.8 pounds loss the scale showed sunday cause this way, next saturday when I weigh in my results will be that much more exciting! Right? Well, as long as the weight keeps going down it’ll be that much more exciting, lol. Since I seem to have found my willpower again I think I will be ok and have a good weigh in this coming saturday but who knows what will happen? Ooooh, the suspense of the unknown future! haha.

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Fat Day? HA! Try Fat Week!

27 Nov

You know those days where you just feel fat…not for any reason (or at least not always for a reason) you just sometimes wake up and feel fat. 😛 Those days suck but you know if you get through it the next day will be better…well, not this time. sigh. This whole week I have felt fat, fat and getting fatter. It’s not been fun!

My clothes are all still fitting big so it’s not that, it’s that I kept screwing up my eating and was sick last monday so I didn’t go to Zumba. sigh. I didn’t think missing one exercise class would be such a big deal but it really affected me…in a bad bad bad kinda way.

I had two really bad eating days, one where I used ten flex points and one where I can’t even calculate how many points I ate cause I can’t get nutritional info for the restaurant but my approximation of points was frickin scary. Then I had days where I went over by a little, so like a point or two, which normally I am ok with cause in total for the week I’ll end up using like 7 flex points and I am good with that…but I was so in a different level of flex points usage this week…and it has made me feel icky.

So, what does that mean? It means this whole week I have felt fat. I don’t care for this feeling and want it to go away. *stomps foot* I used to always feel fat, I barely noticed the sensation because I felt it all the time but once the weight starting to (sloooowly!) come off I started to feel…well, not fat but big I guess…yeah, that seems right, I downgraded myself to big. lol I don’t like being back at feeling fat. 😦 It has made me want to just say “fuck it” and dig in to something high calorie, stop at McD’s for dinner, go to a restaurant and get dessert, gorge on pasta…something! I didn’t do any of those things, which is good, but I am not sure what stopped me, which is not good. It wasn’t will power, it wasn’t knowing I have a goal and working towards it, it wasn’t anything…I just somehow wasn’t able to do any of those things this past week…not for lack of wanting to tho!

I had hoped my weigh in this week would re-enforce the weight loss plan…after all, from last weeks weigh in I only needed to lose 1 pound to hit a total weight loss of 20 pounds…so, get ready for it, this week I lost…*drum roll*…0 pounds! That’s right, you did read that correctly, I lost nothing. 😦 I didn’t gain…and I remind myself of that everytime I think of how I didn’t lose, but…I didn’t lose!!!!  😦 I know I don’t deserve to lose this week, after those two really bad food days, no exercise, and multiple days where I used a couple flex points here and there I should be couting my lucky stars I didn’t gain but I am selfish and wanted to lose more weight, sigh. And to make it worse I had multiple days where at the end of the day I still felt hungry, not “peckish I am bored and want to nibble” hungry but “my stomach is growling I could eat a meal” hungry. Why??? That just can’t be right!

I have no answers to my yelled-out-to-the-universe question except for this…my body was used to eating it’s points and that was it, sure I used some flex points but not a lot and not on a regular basis so my tummy knew what to expect portion wise and it got used to it. This past week I had two days where I ate the way I used to, huge meals, high in calories, way more then what my tummy/body needs and now that my system has had a reminder of what it used to get it is feeling cheated out of all that fatty, high calorie, yummy tasting food. After all, foods I now consider total-exception-treats are what I used to eat all the time…it’s no wonder my body wants to go back, my old eating habits may not have been healthy but they sure were tasty! lol It’s like I teased my body and now it is getting payback, sigh, and we all know payback is a bitch!

Today I ate:

1 cup cooked oatmeal = 2 points

3 tbls maple syrup = 2 points

3 tsp brown sugar = 1 point

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 tbls raspberry jam = 1 point

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

I Uncle Ben’s Sweet n Sour quick meal = 7 points

Total eaten is 19 points. Oops.

I didn’t mean to eat under my points, I was at a nannying job (which is why I ate the microwavable Uncle Ben’s dinner thing – easy to take and make!) and I forgot to take my thinsations snack so after I ate my dinner I was kinda screwed. There were snacks there but everything I could find was really high in points, something I wouldn’t like, or something I didn’t feel comfie eating (it’s hard picking from someone elses kitchen what to eat, shrug) I did nibble on some raw carrots, but those don’t cost any points…and I did dip two of the carrots in a dill dip but no way was that enough dip to use up 2 points, lol, my solution to this is I am gonna grab s’thing little to eat once I am done typing this up. I normally try not to eat this late but my tummy is rumbling and hey, I have two points left, damn straight I am gonna use em! 😀

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Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

25 Nov

Snoooooow Day! My first contact with a person today was when SB from work called to see if I was going to work, I believe her question went something like “what are we gonna do with all this snow?” – at that point I was running a tad late and was just about to leave my place but had yet to look out a window so I didn’t know what she was talking about. lol. Well, I peeked out my living room curtains and yelped, then said something along the lines of “ah fuck, I don’t wanna go out in that…” Ultimately, both of us ended up at work cause “snow days” are only for kids, grr to kids! lol.

brr, snow.

However, while at work we (“we” being the entire office) kept staring out the wall of windows in shock because of how fast and thick the snow was falling…and a bunch of us kept hoping that the snow would get sooooo bad we’d get to leave early. 🙂 I mean really, the snow was not gonna be that bad that we could easily justify leaving work early, but I have been told that is my outlook on it because I grew up somewhere that gets way worse winter weather then here. lol.

The snow kept up all day, at times it was mixed with freezing rain – joy – 😛 at least in order for it to snow it has to warm up, it was ranging between 0 to -4C all day, not bad at all! For all you Americans that’s 32 – 24.8F 🙂 We were told towards the end of the day we could go home early but by that point I didn’t see any reason to so I stayed my normal shift. shrug.

I find the weather is making me want to eat hot more filling foods – I have a salad in the fridge that I was gonna have for dinner tonight but I just couldn’t do it, I ended up having a wrap filled with cooked veggies and scrambled egg. What I really wanted was a burger on a bun, or a big plate of pasta, or toast – yeah, I know, odd maybe, but I am a bread lover and I’d have killed today for toast with either peanut butter or some jam on it. *big dramatic sigh* lol. If I thought toast would have filled me enough as a dinner I so would have gone with that!

Something else I noticed this week, my lunches are bigger then normal. Ok, tuesday makes sense cause I ate out but the other days? shrug. Something went wrong there. Because of my higher pointed lunches I am going over my points for the day or hitting it right on the mark and while hitting my points exactly is a good thing it’s not so good when you are still hungry! Really not good…uber not good…makes for a cranky hungry redhead…foooooooooooooooood! 😉 heh

I blame it on the weather, it makes me want toast or other heated carbs so I have been eating an english muffin at lunch with my lunches and that is making my lunches way higher in points then normal for me. sigh. I have thawed out the remaining veggie soup and will have that tomorrow for lunch so yah! 0 points for the soup I will eat which means I can eat an english muffin with no worries about being able to eat dinner too. 😀 This is important because after my day job tomorrow I have a nannying job and will have enough time to grab a sub from Subway if I am lucky…if the snow hadn’t plopped down on us I wouldn’t be too worried about my timing tomorrow with grabbing a sub and getting to nannying but people in this city are horrible at driving in snow and go sooooooo slow so I will need way longer to get to the job then normal. *rolls eyes*

This week, food wise, has just been bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. ugh. I feel like I have gained weight and it’s not a happy feeling. It’s partially tempered by wearing a pair of work pants this week that the last time I wore (couple weeks ago) were not snug but were fitting just nice around the waist…the legs/butt area were looser then strictly fashionable but the waist still fit so, shrug, I wore em. Yesterday I grabbed them from my closet when getting dressed in the moring and found that they are now too large, I can hold the waist out an inch or so and they are so loose everywhere else they have now joined a bunch of other clothes in the “can never be worn again” pile. Yah! 😀 But still, I feel like the success that made those pants too large happened prior to this week and that this week I screwed up so much I am gonna gain weight, it’s so depressing. Feeling this way makes me want to eat even more, I am at times an emotional eater and feeling for days and days depressed about how many flex points I have used and that I have screwed up royally makes me want to eat! *rolls eyes* the amount of times this week I almost ate cake or cookies or chocolate or whatever, there have been many temptations and I have almost eaten all of them! Horrible! I had gotten to a point where the temptations didn’t even cross my radar and what happens? I totally dip and now am seeing the temptations everywhere and want them! Argh!

Here is what I ate today:

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 Lean Cuisine Honey Mustard Chicken = 5 points

1 weight watchers english muffin = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow = 1 point

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

Wrap

    – 1 weight watchers wrap = 1 point

    – 1 scrambled egg = 2 points

    – 15 grams light shredded cheese = 1 point

    – 1 tbls creole dijon sauce = 1 point

cooked mix vegg = 0 points

1 pckg Jolly Time popcorn = 1 point

Total points eaten is 21. 😀 Least I didn’t go over – feels like a frickin miracle! lol. I still have two more days before weigh in so two more days of feeling like I totally screwed up but not knowing for sure by how much…sucky. 😦

I won’t be posting tomorrow cause of nannying after working all day – sadness, but I’ll be here saturday afternoon to let you know the results of weigh in!

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Stupid Germs, blarg!

23 Nov

Last Friday I was chillin with KL and she had a sore throat, not a big deal right? But then we spent a bunch of time outside freezing our arses off, then I was dressed all skimpy that evening in the even colder weather and by Saturday what did I have? Yup, a sore throat. grr. I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t getting sick, my throat just hurt cause of having to talk louder in the bar…makes sense to me! Course, it didn’t explain my throat still hurting Sunday but oh well…that’s just a technicality. lol.

Monday I felt awful (jingle*Yesterday was plain awful!~ you can say that again!~ Yesterday was plain awful, but that’s. not now. that’s then!*jingle) – little bit of Annie anyone? – so, back to the topic at hand, Monday I felt like crap. Sore throat, fever, chills, runny and stuffed nose, achey joints, nausea…so basic ickiness. I didn’t even go to Zumba after work I felt that sick! That pisses me off for many reasons, the first is I spent money on those classes – it’s about ten bucks a class and by not going I wasted ten bucks, grr, also, it is the only exercise I get each week so this could very likely negatively affect my weigh in on Saturday, double grr. Today of course I don’t feel as bad, if the class had been Tuesday night instead I totally would have been able to go, triple grr anybody? Oh, and yup, you read that right, I don’t feel anywhere near as bad today, I had a headache for a while and my appetite is nowhere near as high as normal but I figure the smallness of appetite helps make up for the lack of exercise I got (am getting) this week. Cause let’s be honest, I am not gonna do anything during the remaining week that will make up for the lack of Zumba class…that’s why paid classes are the best bet for me – I gotta go, I’ve made a commitment. Leave it up to me and what do I do? I sit…and chill on the comp or watch tv or read a book…shrug, it’s how I roll. lol.

Today was lunch with AC and peeps from work, it was really great. The first time there has been a work-food function and I have taken part in it since starting weight watchers…man, the food was goooooood! We went for Japanese and there were these awesome lunch specials, all under $8 and all kinds of combos, you could basically have anything. I got beef teriyaki with Philadelphia rolls, it comes with a bowl of rice and a bowl of miso soup and a couple veggies (literallly a couple, I had one small piece of broccoli and a carrot stick, lol) there was also a salad but it was drowned in dressing so I left it alone. lol

Today I ate:

54 grams Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 bowl sticky rice = 4 points – per 1 cup

1 bowl miso soup = 2 points – per 1 cup

1 serving beef teriyaki = 7 points?

8 philadelphia rolls = 7 points?

2 cups vine ripened tomato soup = 2 points

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

I am scared to add up that total…sigh…ok, here goes…aw fuck, I ate 31 points today…just shoot me now, eesh. ugh. This weeks weigh in is gonna suck balls. argh. 😦

Some of those numbers are approximates so it could even be worse…this is why I don’t eat out at the work functions! Talk about learning a lesson! sigh.

With the Philadelphia rolls according to the book 2 large rolls are 3 points, my rolls weren’t large, I am not sure if they’d be described as small or medium but I know they aren’t large. shrug. So I figure 3 rolls equal 3 points, one of the rolls was uber small cause it was the end piece so I don’t feel that one should count as 1 point hence my 7 points for 8 rolls.

The beef teryaki, sigh, I thought I would never eat this again cause when I was reading the weight watchers dining out companion one day I noticed how bad that particular dish was so it immediately went on my “never again list”, and yes, I really do have a list like that! But when I was out today I thought what the heck, treat yourself! Moron that I am, eesh. 2 slices, or 4 ounces is 7 points – can you believe that?!?! What I want to know though is what constitutes a slice? I had a small pile of beef on my plate and I’d say maybe one piece of it could be called a slice, the rest was just small randomly sized pieces…uh, no for sure “slices” there. So maybe try to gauge the 4 ounces you may be thinking…well, as much as I weigh all my food at home I don’t carry a scale around with me, lol, and I don’t know what 4 ounces of cooked meat looks like, shrug. I decided to count 7 points for the beef cause sure, I might have eaten more but I really don’t know, shrug…

The soup and rice were easy to look up so I didn’t have to guess about that at least. lol.

I wasn’t going to eat dinner, I thought I’d skip it to save myself some points but my place is so frickin cold all I could think about was getting something warm in me. I decided to eat some Campbell’s V8 Vine Ripened Tomato soup, it is 1 point for 1 cup which is pretty awesome. I don’t know if I would recommend it though, I mean yeah, the points per serving is great but it was a bit bland, and chunky, and there were a couple spoonfuls that had something crunchy in…weird. Personally I prefer smooth tomato soup for starters…and what’s with the crunchy bits? I couldn’t figure out what that was…I should probaby regret the soup, or at least the toast since they put my points for the day up in to the frickin 30’s but I needed something warm, and a bit bland actually cause my stomach is still kinda off. I love toast. Mmm. I should have just had the toast…course I only think of that now! Ah well, least I got a couple veggie servings from the soup. 🙂

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Stupid Modem, Grr!

7 Nov

Stupid frickin modem, I’d say I wish it would die but it already has…last sunday, sigh, which I why I haven’t posted since then. I didn’t quit, I didn’t decide to stop posting, I didn’t decide I had too busy a life to go online every night…I didn’t do or think any of the things you may have thought of. Instead I have been living through my own hell…a life without internet! *gasp*

I have read blog posts where people actually willingly choose to not use the internet for a week, just to see what it is like…what the hell would you want to do that for?!?! I can tell you the result of me not having internet for a week, sucky. 😦 I am way out of touch, haven’t been able to check my hotmail, facebook or blog in 7 looooooong days – oh, and important stuff? Like paying bills? Nope, can’t do that either cause hello? that’s all online now. I got a text from my phone provider to let me know my online bill is ready for viewing, well that’s nice, too bad I can’t SEE it! It get’s even worse, I know, you’re wondering how that is possible, well it has because I am that person who is sitting in a starbucks on a sunday evening with a cup of tea and my laptop typing away…I always make fun of those people, heh, my normal thought process when I see someone in a coffee shop typing away on their laptop goes something like this: “oh look, someone who thinks the world wants to see how busy and important they are that they have to be working on their laptop while taking an expensive coffee break cause they just don’t have time to relax with their drink” well, the thinking usually goes something like that…it’ll depend on how the person looks, I usually give a bit of a break to students cause I remember needing a change of environment when studying – course, even then I didn’t go to starbucks. *rolls eyes* After all that ranting indirectly about starbucks I guess I should be grateful for them cause otherwise I still wouldn’t be able to blog. *sniffle*

I missed writing my daily blog more then I thought I would. This blog has become an integral part of my weight loss and I felt a bit, well, lost without it. Every evening this past week I thought I would go sit in a starbucks with my laptop and write up what has been going on but there just isn’t time. It’s easy enough when I am at home and can sit and type while eating or in between laundry loads or something like that but finding time to go out to sit in a shop all so I can go online? I just don’t have that kind of time in the evenings…which is sad cause that means that I probably won’t be able to blog again until next weekend…or when my new modem shows up in the mail, whichever comes first.

So, hmm, how to cap up the past week…

Monday:

Zooooooomba! Ok, it’s actually spelled Zumba but I can’t say the name without stretching the sounds out, it’s more fun of a word that way, lol. What is Zumba you ask? “It is a fitness/dance class that combines Latin rhythms with cardio exercise to create an aerobic routine that is fun and easy to follow. Zumba utilizes the principles of fitness interval training and resistance training. It uses a variety of styles in its routines, including cumbia, merengue, salsa, reggaeton, mambo, rumba, flamenco and calypso.”  – case you’re wondering, I quoted that from the class description. lol. I get 6 classes for $60 and that seems fair. The class last monday was a freebie, to sorta intro the class, let you get a feel for it to see if you want to pay, it was loads of fun, the instructor, this uber tiny bouncy full of energy lady was insanely awesome. 😀 When she wanted to change directions or steps or whatever instead of saying “left!” or some other command she did that rolling tongue sound that I haven’t a hope in hell of being able to make. lol. I have never in my life met a more energetic person. At one point I started thinking well sure, she can hop and bounce around like that cause she weighs like 90 pounds, I way considerably higher then 90 pounds so there’s no chance I can do some of what she can do…I was in a bit of a down frame of mind last week so shrug, dark thoughts, anyways, I was able to do all the moves, sure I may not have been as graceful as her (nowhere near as close! lol) and I didn’t get as high in my jumps etc (compared to her it felt like my feet barely left the floor, lol) but ya know what? Who cares! I did what I could, and I will do even better tomorrow, and I had fun. 😀 Oh, and sweeeeet music!

Tuesday thru Thursday:

Nothing really exciting on those days, I stuck to my points, ate a lot of the weight watchers soup (0 points!) for lunch which meant I could have a bagel with lunch and not kill my points, yah! There was left over halloween candy at work, sigh, lots of suckers and hard candies. I checked the nutritional info and found out that these big suckers that were in the candy were 1 point each so I snagged some, hey, every girl needs a hit of sugar sometimes. 😛

Friday:

Pizza was brought in to work from management to say “Thanks” for all our hard work, ha bloody ha! The entire office is pissed at management. Grr to them! Not only did they cut our staff by three they increased our work load and annouced we aren’t getting a christmas party this year, the most they are springing for is drinks and appetizers at a crappy pub type place after work on a wednesday. Uh, hello? What the fuck is that?!?! They sent out this email saying how we had over $4 billion in profits but we can’t have a christmas party?!?! Fuckers. Grr. So, hehe, we all declined the invitation to the drinks and one of our staff took it upon herself to plan a better party, it’s dinner at a Mexican restaurant on a friday, we all have to pay for ourselves, but whatever, at least we get food and not some cheap ass appetizers.  I have a link to the restaurant and will check it out prior to that evening so I can plan ahead what I am going to eat. I haven’t eaten Mexican since going on weight watchers so I don’t really have any idea just how bad this could be for me but ah well, I’ll save my flex points that week and see how it goes. 🙂

Satuday – Weigh In Day:

Holy Crap! Holy Crap! Holy Crap! Weigh in day ROCKED!!!!! I lost 1.8 pounds which means not only did I get to my goal of 15 pounds lost I surpassed it and am sitting at 16.6 pounds lost!!!! 😀 😀 😀 I sooooo bought my full length mirror, teehee, and am going through my closet when I get home. 😀 AND! Not only that but…the second number in my weight has gone down…in other words I am down to 21 points per day instead of 22…in other words this wasn’t any ordinary weigh in day! I haven’t had the second number in my weight be this low in…well, I don’t know how long. But it is there now and I am gonna do my best to get it even lower. 😀

It was so odd, on friday evening I really wanted to weigh myself, I just knew I had lost weight and I wanted to see what the number was at but I resisted cause hello, weighing yourself after a full day of work and eating and well, life, bad idea. So I didn’t weigh myself and when I got up Saturday I was pissed cause I am a girl and I woke up bloated and with cramps and that can totally skew the weigh in. sigh. But even then, before I stepped on the scale I told myself that I don’t care what the scale says, I know without a doubt I lost weight this week and I am buying my mirror no matter what the scale says cause I am not letting being bloated take away my victory, and then the number came up and I was so stunned my mouth dropped open. I was so excited I didn’t want to get off the scale, lol, so I didn’t, I just stood there, staring at the number flabergasted. The second digit had changed?!?! I wasn’t expecting that! Then I started jumping up and down (not on the scale) and to top it off I actually shed a couple tears…this may not seem like a big deal but I am not a cryer but with this, I couldn’t help it, they just leaked out. *rolls eyes at self*

Oh! And! (I know, I can’t believe there is more lol) on the friday after work I went shopping, now I was s’posed to be shopping for my bro’s bday present but I ended up (oddly enough) in the women’s section of some stores that my brother would never shop in, lol, (we don’t share the same taste in clothes at all!) I ended up buying a couple shirts. I know! I wasn’t going to buy anything until I had lost at least 20 pounds but it had been such a crappy week I just wanted to lose myself in stores for a little bit. What I was shopping for didn’t materialize, I wanted a new bag and a pair of boots, but ended up with a new leather wrist strap with some silver studding and two shirts…wait, three shirts…eesh. I don’t really have the money to afford that but it’s done now. Anyways, back to the shirts, one of them fit great, in fact I am wearing it now, one fits a bit snug, well, for my comfort cause I don’t like things that cling but I know by the christmas party it will probably be fine and I will wear it there, but the third shirt…this is the special one, I bought it for headshots cause it’s a dark blue and will look great in pics on me (bring out the blue in my eyes and pop against my uber pale skin) but the reason it is so great? I had to get it a size smaller then normal. 😀 Now, I know it’s cause of the style, it is designed to sorta flow…look loose-ish, ya know? But even so, I had to go down a size cause the size I thought I would need, ha! Way too big! Yippee!

I know when I shop for pants it’s gonna be interesting cause I have no idea what size I really am anymore. Pants that fit 3 weeks ago are now too large, some I am making them still work for me, mostly by taking my belt in a notch and pulling them up as I walk, lol, very attractive I know, but I don’t have the money to buy new clothes and I don’t want to buy clothes I will have to replace quickly – I guess I shouldn’t assume my weight loss will continue on the schedule I have set for it, maybe I should buy pants cause I’ll be stuck at this size for a couple more months but I am trying to be optimistic (not my strong suit) and think that in a couple more months I will be even smaller.

So here I am on sunday, mentally prepping to start a new week and wishing it was weigh in day already cause I want to step on the scale and see that second digit number again! I am enamored. teehee.

I don’t know when I will get to blog again, my modem is supposed to show up in the mail within 3-5 business days, so the first possible day would be monday (they didn’t mail it out till wednesday, sigh) – hopefully it shows up then, otherwise it might not be till mid week and I’m sorry, but another week of no internet at my place? I don’t think I will survive! I rely too much on my computer for, well, everything! Bills, work, play, education, weight loss…there isn’t one aspect of my life that doesn’t somehow get played out online…I miss my internet, a lot!

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