Tag Archives: fat

30 Day Challenge x 2

1 May

I have decided to participate in a two 30 Day Challenges. You’ve seen them floating around facebook and other sites I am sure, there are all kinds of them. The two I have chosen are squats and abs. Yup, that’s right, legs and core, my body is gonna hate me! lol 😉

Here is how they work:

30 Day Squat Challenge:

30 day squat challenge

30 Day Ab Challenge:

30 day ab challenge

Now rest assured I have not dropped in to la-la land and think that at the end of the thirty days I will look as good as the women in the pics buuuuut if I follow the challenges and don’t cheat, and eat well, and keep up with all my other activities I don’t see why I can’t at least look a bit better then I look now…right? *hopeful eyes*

To the Ab Challenge I have added the same amount of push-ups per day as there are sit-ups. Crazy huh? I can totally blame this level of crazy on someone else! lol I posted the Ab Challenge pic on my facebook page and one of my dragon boat team members saw it and said he was gonna do it too, yah for a partner! So I texted him the squat one also and asked if he wanted to join me in both, to which awesome guy that he is, he said yes! 😀 He then texted me that he is gonna do the same amount of push-ups per day as sit-ups and well, not one to be left behind I said I’d do the same thing even though push-ups are one of my main nemesis.  Seriously I suck at them! My only saving grace is I am a girl so at least I can do girl push-ups, not that that’ll help me much when I am on day thirty and need to do 125 of them *scared face* Ah well, that is thirty days away, no reason to freak out about it now! 🙂

I think I will create a Page on my blog for both these challenges, that way it’ll help keep me on track and if anyone is interested they can follow my progress…and yes, I’m aware probably no one will ever look at those pages but whatev! Let me pretend k? 😛 lol

I feel like I need a war chant to end this post with thereby signifying my drive and determination in regards to the challenges but I don’t have one…hmm…any suggestions?

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I Used To Be Able To Run, Honest!

24 Apr

Oh. My. God. Monday was so embarrassing! I hate the gym! 😦

Ignore me, I’m being overly dramatic (side effect of being an actor lol). I’m sure no one was watching, or watching enough to notice, but still! I embarrassed myself with my level of suckyness and that is almost worse then being embarrassed and knowing other people saw. I’m far more judgmental of myself then others seem to be of me…what’s with that? *raised eyebrow*

Anyways! Gotta shake it off! 😛

On Monday I went to the gym (like you hadn’t figured that out already? lol) and I hopped on the treadmill like always. Now, I am soooooo not a runner but last winter/summer I somehow ran enough on the freakin treadmill that I somehow accidentally became a bit of a runner. It wasn’t so much that I liked running, just that I’d become good at it and had managed to push myself to distances and speeds I never would have thought I could reach and I liked the challenge of doing even better each gym visit. Sick huh?

Towards the end of last year I was so busy with moving and work and being lazy that I stopped going to the gym as often as I used to. Didn’t think too much of it, and figured when I went back I’d pick up right where I left off. Then the car accident happened and I couldn’t go to the gym, and I started to chafe at the inactivity. I actually wanted to go and exercise but wasn’t allowed to, or capable of if I’m gonna be honest and I got in a slump. shrug. Once I was cleared for going back to the gym I did go a bit but still had to take it easy. Then dragon boat practice started up, oh, and a bit before practices started up I started hiking again and somehow, even though I was being physically active I wasn’t going anywhere near the treadmill.

Last Monday I went not just near the treadmill, but on it, and I thought I was going to die. *rolls eyes*

I started up at my regular warm up, about a minute of fast walking, then pushed the speed up to my former basic running speed. I was intending to do my interval sprints (30 seconds of sprinting, 1.5 minutes of regular running speed, for a grand total of 30 minutes) but by the time I got to where I usually start my sprints I was ready to quit, w.t.f??? I was shocked at how quickly I wanted to get off that evil contraption but there ya have it, apparently my running cardio is gone, kaput, out the window, dead.

This saddens me more then I thought it would. More though, it pisses me off! I worked my butt off (literally!) in my quest to become a runner. I went everyday to the stupid gym, I went when I felt sick, when I was tired, depressed, lazy, had other things to do, I skipped fun social activities to go to the gym, I pushed myself harder then I had ever been pushed, I sweated, I killed my runners, I dealt with body pains, I worked and I earned the level of running I got to. And now? Now it is all gone. Now I have to earn it all back again and all I can think about is how hard it was the first time, how much I went through, and how I don’t know if I can do that again. I don’t know that I have it in me. When I was running on Monday I seriously was ready to hop off and say screw it, nobody will ever know, I’ll just go sit on a freakin bike, those are easier. But then this guy got on the treadmill next to me and I somehow felt obligated to stay on, he blatantly looked at my treadmill screen so he saw my speed and time and if I got off so early in my “run” well, I’d be embarrassed wouldn’t I? And heaven forbid that happen! sigh. Sometimes I hate my pride lol

Well, in the end my 30 minute interval run turned in to a 20 minute slow jog, with, I am ashamed to admit, two quick stops so I could drink some water. *red faced*  While I know any activity is good activity a huge part of me feels like why should I even bother if that is the best I can do? I had to run at a slower speed than I used to, and couldn’t maintain that for the length of time I used to run for.

I am definitely no longer a runner. 😦

After the treadmill I went to the free weights area, grabbed some dumbbells and did a bunch of squats etc for my legs, figured if I couldn’t run as well as I used to least I could do was work the muscles another way. I definitely worked them! It is two days later and my legs are still in pain! Good muscle pain though so I don’t mind, much. lol. 😛

I’m grateful I haven’t also lost my cardio ability when it comes to dragon boating. I can still paddle the endurance pieces coach puts us through no problem. But that kind of confuses me. How can I have good cardio in the paddling sense but sucky cardio in the running  sense? Isn’t cardio cardio? Apparently it isn’t…but I don’t understand why. Sure paddling uses more core and running is legs but, well, I have no core strength, lol, it has always been one of my weakest areas, and now it seems like my core is stronger then my legs?? There is something way flawed with that…

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Different Mirror Different View

20 Apr
what does she really see?

what does she really see?

Sometimes I really hate mirrors, specific mirrors, meeeean mirrors! lol I don’t look the same in all mirrors and I am never sure if it is my perception of myself that is different or the actual reflection in the mirror…I’m leaning towards the actual reflection with a hint of bias on my side coming in to play, but just a hint! 😉

A good example of this is a mirror at work, I pass by this mirror multiple times a shift and I never, and I really mean Never look good in this mirror. I think this mirror hates me! *pout* I always look shorter and fatter in this mirror then I think I should. And yes, sigh, I am aware that this mirror could be showing me the truth and how I think I look is twisted and wrong but I’m pretty sure I generally think of myself as looking worse then how I actually look so why would things be the opposite with this one mirror? I have a similar style of mirror at home and I generally look well, not good cause I don’t think I can be classified that high on the looks category yet, but semi decent in it…depending on the outfit and time of day that is! lol Don’t look at me funny, you know you look thinner before you’ve had breakfast and taller in the morning then in the evening. I always look better in my mirror when I am getting ready to go out then when I have just come home lol 😛

Since my mirror at home and this mirror at work are so similar I’m not sure if I am delusional about thinking I look ok in my mirror or if the mirror at work is defective in some way…like those mirrors at fair grounds that are warped, maybe this mirror is slightly warped? Is that possible?…hmm…I’m gonna lean towards the answer being yes 😉

There was a whole entire wall of mirrors a couple weeks back that practically gave me a panic attack about the size of my ass, lol, it’s kind of funny now but at the time I could hardly stop looking at my reflection in horror and wondering what the hell happened to give me such a booty! Seriously, those mirrors, I had some definite booty action happenin, and while it (thankfully!) looked perky and well rounded I couldn’t believe it was so, well, large! Not like it is easy to see your own ass so I kept wondering if that is what it really looks like and if so why hadn’t anybody ever told me?? My friend who was also there, when I pointed out the reflection in the mirror, seemed shocked at how big it looked and said that those mirrors mess with everyone so not to worry about it, they don’t tell the truth. I am trying really hard to take her word on that since she spends a lot of time in that room but I still can’t get that image out of my head. *rolls eyes*

Isn’t it amazing how many different reflective surfaces there are that we encounter in a day, and how differently they show us what we look like? I expect mirrors to be the most honest reflection of myself, after all, it is a mirror, but you can get great shots of yourself in glass walls, shadows, fronts of ovens/microwaves, bus stop shelters, phone screens…all over really. So, with so many options to choose from, and with most of those options giving different results, which do we trust? Any of them? Some of them? The ones we like the results of best? The ones we hate the results of most? I dunno. shrug. Guess we just have to look at the reflection shown and use some kind of hopefully not too biased judging skills to decide if what we see is right or not…piece of cake! Said no one ever! 😉

What I need to work on is not letting that evil mirror at work ruin my mojo for the day once I have seen myself in it. I’ll go to work in a cute dress, thinking I look ok, I’ll get compliments on the dress by enough people I figure it must look good, then I pass that stupid mirror and poof! all of a sudden I am shorter and rounder and wondering why all those people are lying to me about how I look in the dress. And yes, I am aware of how lame that is thanks. 😛 But we are taught to believe what we see right? So, how can I not believe what I see in that mirror? Well, I haven’t figured out how to not believe that mirror but you can bet your last nickel I will figure it out! And if I ever figure out the secret on how to not believe the reflection of a mean mirror I’ll pass it on to you cause maybe I am not the only one being fooled by these things…?

 

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Don’t Borrow Your Calories!

19 Apr

For the love of all that tastes good Don’t Borrow Your Freakin Calories!!!!! Now don’t take offence, I’m not snapping at you, I’m snapping at myself because I have borrowed my calories at least 4 times in the past 2 weeks and it’s pissing me off, grr! *mean eyes*

What do I mean by “borrowing calories” you wonder…lemme explain! 🙂

Borrowing calories is when you have a thought process that goes something like this:

hmm, should I eat that waffle? yeah, it’s ok, I’ll eat it because I am going on a 15km hike same day so it’ll balance out.

it could also go like this:

do I splurge and share the appetizer with my friend at dinner? yeah go for it! you’re going running tomorrow morning then to dragon boat practice tomorrow evening so you’ll burn it off no problem-o.

Now, you might not think there is a huge problem with those thoughts, I mean sure, I shouldn’t have the waffle at breakfast or split the appetizer at dinner but a little treat every now and then isn’t gonna kill me (immediately…lol), the problem is when the planned activity doesn’t happen. In those above instances the hike got cancelled due to being called in to work and the running and dragon boating got cancelled because of sleeping in (ok, fine, my bad!) and such an extreme wind storm the club cancelled boating practice. sigh.

The end result was I ate calories I wouldn’t of normally eaten because I was oh so sure I was going to be doing enough physical activity to counteract the calories but then ended up not doing anything to counteract the food I stuffed in my face, double sigh.

It isn’t so bad if it happens once in a blue moon, I mean, if it had only been the time my hike got cancelled cause of last minute being called in to work then hey, not so bad, I wouldn’t be upset about it. But this has happened one too many times for my comfort level lately, ya know?

Must. Be. More. Careful.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to better prepare for possibilities like this but really, how do you prepare for the unexpected? I think the only action to take is to be more diligent with the food I eat and be less lenient with treats and splurges. Also, I have to break the idea of eating something and then planning to exercise it off later. Instead it should be reversed. If I want to have a treat of some kind, I need to earn it by exercising first and enjoying the treat later.

Basically, bribe myself to work out lol 😛

I’ll have a more structured work out schedule for the rest of dragon boat season because I am now paddling with two teams, yah! So I have practice Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights and Saturday morning. The Saturday morning practice may kill me…8:30am is a tad early for exercising in my world but whatcha gonna do? *raised eyebrow* Tuesday and Thursday mornings I usually go hiking or to the gym (depends on weather and my mood) and the other days of the week are all in flux. I don’t have them scheduled yet but I’ll sort something out. I usually hike either Sunday or Monday after work…hmm, lemme put this down in some kind of order:

Monday: usually hike after work, or gym, or biking with KL

Tuesday: gym or hike in morning, dragon boat practice in evening

Wednesday: dragon boat practice in evening

Thursday: gym or hike in morning, dragon boat practice in evening

Friday: not gonna lie, usually nothing, I sleep in before going to work lol

Saturday: dragon boat practice early morning

Sunday: usually hike after work, or gym

Sooooo, that is one day I for sure do nothing (Fridays) and two days of possibly nothing if I flake cause the activities are not planned (Sundays, Mondays). All the other days I am for sure doing something…that’s not soooo bad. Not the guaranteed 6 days of intense physical activity I was doing last summer but I’m working up to that, sorta…I don’t know why it’s so much harder to get my ass in gear this year, sigh, but I’ve gotta come up with something to provide extra motivation and I don’t think bribing myself with a potential waffle is the way to go! lol 😛

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Flax Seed: Quickest Way to Make Your Food Taste Weird

1 Apr

Well, this whole eating flax seed idea of mine was not a good one. Yup, that’s right, I admit it, I had a bad idea, shocking huh? 😉

I had my first serving of the stuff two days ago, I sprinkled it on some cereal (sssh! I’m not supposed to be eating cereal anymore but lets keep that between you an I m’kay? teehee) and it didn’t seem so bad. It added a nutty flavour to my cereal that normally isn’t there but since I like nuts I was sorta ok with this. Some spoonfuls were more intense in the nut flavour then other spoonfuls, I didn’t particularly care for those spoonfuls but hey, that’s why I had a big ol glass of water beside me lol. Just in case… 🙂

It seemed like this whole flax seed idea was going to pan out…oh me and my silly early optimism!

Yesterday after work I went for a hike then when I got home made a protein shake. Now here’s the deal, I love my protein shake! It is by far one of the tastiest things I eat/drink, and that isn’t because all the other stuff I eat/drink sucks, it is because I make an awesome protein shake. It has the protein powder (duh), yogurt, frozen mixed berries, half a banana, omega 3 oil, vege powder and almond milk. This combines to make a fruity yummy drink. Well ok, since I started adding the vege powder it isn’t as great, that powder is flavoured as a berry (can’t think of the specific berry right now) and it’s a bit too strong of a flavour for my preference, it overpowers the real fruit, what’s with that?? But it’s my own fault, if I ate enough fruits and veggies in a day I wouldn’t need the powder so can’t really bitch about it all that much…well, out loud 😉 I thought adding the flax seed to the protein shake was a brilliant idea! Sure, it is a nutty flavour but all the other stuff would mask it so it wouldn’t be a big deal, right?

Oh how wrong I was!

The flax seed totally took over the protein shake, as in a hostile takeover, I am surprised the shake survived. Ugh. It was a funny colour and tasted nasty! And I mean nasteeeeeeeeeeee! Double ugh. I hated it. I drank it. But I hated it. It has never taken me so long to drink something in my life. I’d take a sip, force myself to swallow, grimace, contemplate giving up, realize I can’t, take another sip then repeat the whole process again lol. 😦

Never again will I be defiling my protein shake in that way!

Today I failed completely on the flax seed mission. I had a huge lunch at work, way bigger then I wanted (the chef likes to over feed me *rolls eyes* so even though I say no he loads me down with food and I hate to waste food so I usually end up eating more then what I want). This meant that when I got home dinner was not anywhere on my mind. I nibbled on some random stuff throughout the evening but didn’t actually eat anything that could be called a meal, or food really (I nibbled on candy, also pushed on me at work, sigh, I am so weak sometimes) and I’m sorry but no way can I sprinkle flax seed on easter candy, for one thing it wouldn’t stick and secondly, that is defiling innocent candy and I can’t be a party to such behaviour. *sticks nose up in the air*

I guess I could go dissolve some in a glass of water or something but really, who am I kidding? I’m not having the flax seed today. After yesterdays debacle with it I’m not all that upset about the lack of it today, not gonna lie. I will however do my best to get back on the flax seed bandwagon tomorrow. I am usually healthier on my days off (those are the next three days) so I should have an easier time fitting it in to my food, I’ll just sprinkle a little bit on everything, make everything taste weird! lol 😛

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Enter: Flax Seed

29 Mar

Alrighty so not only do I write a blog about weight loss I read a lot of other people’s blogs about their weight loss. I tend to veer away from blogs that are done by trainers, so called fitness experts, companies etc cause I feel those ones are mostly trying to make me buy into their system of losing weight and buy their products which in my opinion, so not cool. People who are trying to lose weight are a tad desperate (generally) and even once they have realized that the best way to lose the weight is in a slow and healthy manner they still wish and want and beg the universe for a quick fix. Heck, even though I’ve tried diet pills, powders, shakes, diet foods and extreme diets and I know from experience they don’t work doesn’t mean everytime I see an ad for something new like that I don’t immediately google and wiki and yahoo and just in general research the shit out of it in the hopes it might actually be legit…sadly, they never are, sigh.

Huh, totally veered away from what I was meaning to type, oops! lol

What I am getting at is I am not in some sort of bubble while on this weight loss journey, I read and research and learn, I get advice (solicited and unsolicited), I try things I would never of thought of on my own in an attempt to not only lose my excess weight but to live a healthier lifestyle.

So, in an attempt to live my healthier lifestyle I am adding Milled Flax Seed in to my eating plan…sounds oh so yummy huh? *wrinkled nose* It’s not that I’m not open to trying it, I did buy it after all, I’m just…hesitant to start adding it to my foods cause, well, it’s flax seed, just the name alone evokes images of dry mouth, icky flavour, weird texture, blech! 😛 In fact, the only reason I finally bought some was because I was reading an article online about weight loss and healthy living and it mentioned adding flax seed to your smoothies and since I drink protein shakes I realized I could most likely add the flax seed to my protein shakes and not really notice it but still benefit from it. Awesome thinking right? *raised eyebrow*

In general I don’t feel the need to hide healthy additions to my eating plan within other foods so that I can tolerate them but just the idea of this flax seed is making me make faces that remind me of a kid whose faced with a plate of brussel sprouts. Yeah, that face! I am well past the age of making that face and yet, this flax seed is inspiring the muscles in my face to morph in to the disgusted look reminiscent of a child.

I placed the bag of flax seed with my protein powder so I can’t even “accidentally” forget it tomorrow when I make my shake…I know that will irritate me tomorrow when I make my shake but for now I am patting myself on the back for thinking ahead lol.

For those of you that are wondering, some of the so-called benefits to having flax seed in your diet are:

  • Omega-3 essential fatty acids, “good” fats that have been shown to have heart-healthy effects. Each tablespoon of ground flaxseed contains about 1.8 grams of plant omega-3s.
  • Lignans, which have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities. Flax seed contains 75 to 800 times more lignans than other plant foods.
  • Fiber. Flax seed contains both the soluble and insoluble types.

Also, consuming flax seed will apparently help me to not get cancer, help protect me from heart troubles, help decrease inflammation, regulate blood sugar levels (this goes towards type 2 diabetes which I do not have but hey, ya never know!), regulate hot flashes (something I am a looooong ways away from worrying about) and lots of other things. It is important to note that consuming flax seed doesn’t magically make you lose weight, or boom! become super healthy. It is just one more tool to be used by those wanting to live a healthier lifestyle. Not that I believe by not eating it you are not living a healthy lifestyle…I don’t have a set opinion about it yet since I haven’t started eating it yet I just don’t want you to read this and think “oh hey, a super food, if I sprinkle this over my donut it makes my donut ok to eat”, sorry to say it just doesn’t work like that!

The so called experts say women who are preggos or breast feeding shouldn’t eat flax seed but it seems like women who are preggo or breastfeeding are restricted from a lot of foods so guess adding one more to the list won’t freak them out all that much. 😉

There are countless websites you can visit to find tips and tricks and suggestions in regards to flax seed, everything about how to eat it, how to store it, differences between the types of flax seed blah blah blah. I won’t retype all that info here since (1) it’s easy enough to find on your own (2) I won’t bore the bejeebus out of you who are reading this who have no interest in trying flax seed and therefore don’t care how to store it etc and (3) it’s late and I’m tired. 😛

Hopefully my little flax seed experiment works, otherwise I’m stuck with a bag of the stuff and no one to unload it on to lol I’m hoping to eat it daily for a month, I figure that’s a good length of time to monitor myself and see if I feel any differently because of eating it. It will be a completely subjective rating of the flax seed since I’m not tracking any changes within my body with medical tests etc (cause uh, who would do that?? *rolls eyes*) but at least by tracking how I feel, how much of it I eat etc over the next month I will be able to decide if it is something I want to continue adding to my food or if I can cut it out and thereby save the money of buying another bag once this one is gone. 😛

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Hello Seawall, I’ve Missed You

27 Mar

Ahhhh, today was a day of getting back to activities I haven’t done since oh, last summer, and I’m so happy to be doing them again! 🙂

The day started with brunch, well ok, that isn’t an activity I’ve neglected over the winter months lol but it’s always a nice way to start the day. After that I went for a 3 hour walk along the north shore seawall/ambleside area. It has an off leash dog park area which I care nothing about but since the person I was with has a dog it was good for them…and the reason we went to that area. I enjoy dogs in the you-are-so-cute-I-want-to-take-you-home-omg-don’t-get-me-dirty kind of way. 😛

Here is a pic I took while we were chilling mid-walk and letting the dog run around like the little nut ball she is lol

I don't know any of the people or dogs in this pic lol

I don’t know any of the people or dogs in this pic lol

Then I went and met up with KL and we went to the other seawall to go get our fitness on lol. She is awesome, she got accepted on to a roller derby team and could surely kick everyones ass but she unfortunately had to leave the sport due to other obligations (she is a super busy wonder woman!) but even though she’s not on a team anymore she still loves to skate and keeps in shape so she was roller skating the seawall and I was being more boring and biking it. This is the first time this season I have pulled my bike out and while I haven’t physically been missing it (it lives in my living room so I see it everyday) it was so nice to actually take it outside and get to use it!

We got a later start then we had planned on, and even though the weather is nicer now it does still get darker semi-early-ish so we couldn’t go around the entire seawall. Before you get all judgmental and say we could have let me point out not all areas of the seawall are well lit (or lit at all!) and neither of us have night gear which means no reflective clothing and no lights which as it was getting darker and darker I think was pissing off other bikers who were on the seawall, oops!  We ended up biking about 8km (that’s almost 5 miles) so not a crazy huge distance but pretty decent. 🙂

As much as I wish we could have gone the entire way I think having to cut it short was maybe a good thing for me, well, for my knees. I always forget over the winter months how much biking hurts my knees, sigh. I don’t get it, I have great shocks on my bike but I always end up with killer pain. Not cool. 😦 On a kind of funny note, my ass is killing me! Also due to biking! lol I have a gel filled bike seat cover and a lot of shall we say “natural cushioning” on that particular area of my body but despite all that riding a bike hurts my butt! Always has. Probably always will. I don’t know how long distance bikers can stand it, I stand up in the pedals sometimes just to avoid sitting while going over a little bump cause I just can’t take it anymore, lame and wimpy I know. *big epic sigh* My butt may be wimpy but you just try taking a jab at me when I’m boxing, I can take that and hit you back without a problem!…which I guess means my face is stronger then my butt? Now that’s a weird sentence…

Here’s a view from the other side of the water from the above pic, from the other seawall, notice that it really did get darker and I didn’t exaggerate? *raise eyebrow*

same bridge but from the other side of the water

same bridge but from the other side of the water

So now I am home, and relaxing, and as soon as my laptop is off my lap I will have my heating pad on my knees in an attempt to ease their suffering…it won’t help but I hafta try, lesson in futility I suppose lol 😛

My eating was a bit weird today, as I suspected it would be what with being out of the house from about 10am onwards. I had wanted to eat a healthy brunch but we went to this place that has a yummy breakfast, served all day, that is $3, I can’t bring myself to order something more expensive when that super cheap option is there lol. Only thing is they don’t have turkey meat so the meat options for the dish are ham, bacon or sausage, yuch! I don’t eat pork so this is a yuck not only on a holy-fatty-meat level but also on a yuch-I-won’t-put-that-near-my-tastebuds level. The only items I could swap out for were another egg (there are already two on the plate though so no way am I eating a third!) or mushrooms, which were not an option I was expecting but I took em. So my brunch was 2 eggs over easy, two pieces of brown toast with margarine, hash browns and fried mushrooms. I mean, it was tasty, but it was basically two eggs and a whole lotta carbs, sigh. I’m trying to cut back on those! It actually left me feeling a bit um, icky? Slightly unsettled tummy, which is unfortunate. I don’t know that the unsettled tummy is due to the food, it could be cause of anything but regardless, it happened after eating which is now leaving me with the association of that dish and not feeling well which I’m not gonna lie, I don’t mind (even if it is wrong) cause it’ll help me resist ordering it if I go there again…which I might not since I can’t get a turkey meat option. shrug. Later I had a vegan organic power bar, home made (not by me! lol) from a coffee shop, it was tiny, and had no nutritional info, and was weird, I got it cause I really wanted some protein but was still full from brunch so I wanted the protein to come in a small package lol. After the ambleside walk but right before the seawall bike ride I got a six inch turkey sub from Subway, hey, don’t judge, I needed actual food otherwise I wouldn’t make it through the bike ride! Even with the sub in me by the end of the ride I was quite hungry so KL and I split a chocolate covered pretzel we got from Starbucks on our way back home and I guess I’ll confess, I also got a grande half sweet peppermint hot chocolate made with skim no whipped cream. I hate having such a long order request, makes me feel like a snob lol. By the time I got home I wasn’t hungry anymore (totally thought I would be) so I decided not to eat anything but now it’s almost midnight I of course feel hungry and want food, which is so not gonna happen, it’s way too late to be eating, so I’ll have water instead and hope the hunger pains are a signal fat is leaving my body. 🙂

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Kick Ass Week

24 Mar

Ok, so right now I’m not feeling so great, not sick, just not well…if that makes sense? It’s not like I caught a cold or something, I just feel off, I have a bunch of little things that are wonky right now that don’t add up to any one illness, and by themselves wouldn’t be that big of a deal buuuuut when combined, and when I’m uber tired I become cranky and less able willing to deal with them by continuing on in my regular routine. 😛

None of that matters though because it is almost the end of my week and my week has been beeawesome! 😀

Tuesday afternoon, I was informed that I may be done physio! DONE!! Finally! YAH!! I am super excited for this for a couple reasons: (1) it’s freakin expensive and I couldn’t afford to do anything else while paying for physio, (2) it means I am better so I don’t have to worry about my neck and back anymore and (3) it takes a decent chunk of time out of my life twice a week and I want that time back! I mean c’mon, I could be sleeping…which is an excellent use of my time because it makes me happy and doesn’t cost anything! 😉 lol The small print to this news is that my being done physio is dependent on how I do for the next 3 weeks, sigh. I have to gauge how my back and neck deal with the crap I put them through and if at the three week mark I have experienced pain, discomfort, loss of agility blah blah blah then I have to go back, ugh. Soooooo, I am really trying to not screw this up and do something that’ll mess with my neck and or back again…I have decided, the way I am going to look at things, is that I am done physio because that thought puts a huuuuge grin on my face!

Tuesday evening, omgomgomgomgomg first dragon boat practice of the season!!! Hellz yah! It was awesome, and cold, and rainy, and dark, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything! By the time warm up started, which is held outside, it was still pouring rain and while it had been raining earlier but wasn’t cold it was now raining and cold, lovely. Kinda made warm up interesting as we were all wanting to keep moving more than normal lol. We had to rebuild the team so this first practice was more a getting used to the feel of the team in the boat, seeing how strong we were, stuff like that. We didn’t focus on form or strength or speed but we will, oh how we will! I fully expect our amazing coach to kick us all in to gear and make us a winning team! Personally, I think we already are a winning team, we felt great when paddling and that was only the first practice of the season! so how can we not win when we will just keep getting better and better? *raised eyebrow*

Wednesday, I had my volunteer dealio, I am a Big Sister…as in The Big Brothers and Big Sisters Program, know it? I don’t know why but people don’t recognize the organization when I just say Big Sisters, they only get the lightbulb of understanding when I say “ya know, big brothers and big sisters…” what’s with that? I think Big Brothers has better advertising then us…? Ah well. So my little sister, who incidentally is a bit taller then me (which is kind of rare in my world since I am 5’8″ ) turned 16, ahhhh, sweet sixteen, remember those years? Cringe a bit? Yeah, I did too! lol. Why do people get all excited about being a teen, and reminisce about it so much when being a teen sucks? You can’t do anything adult yet, can’t drive, can’t work, can’t decide when you are going out or for how long, can’t decide what your cell phone plan will be or if the house will have internet or cable, depending on the parents you don’t get to decide your own wardrobe, can’t randomly get tattooed, generally don’t get to choose what’s for dinner…there’s all kinds of things that as adults we can do that we don’t think about, that teens want to be able to do but are denied and yet! Adults expect teens to act like, dun-dun-dun, adults! Double standard I think, shrug. But regardless of that, she is super happy to be 16! She’s one step closer to driving (her thoughts, not mine) and getting a tattoo (also her plan) and is constantly trying to figure out how to survive as an adult once she is an adult. She wants to be a teacher and live in a co-op but also do her art (she’s a wicked awesome artist!) and she basically is like every single 16 year old in that her life plans change almost weekly and she wants to do everything possible and is only now realizing she doesn’t know how she is going to manage all these dreams and ideas and goals. I am loathe to say that some dreams she will have to drop in order to pursue others, so I keep my mouth shut about that and encourage her weekly in what she has now decided is her new plan.

Thursday, the weather was amazing, like super amazing, as in sunny and warm but not hot, no wind, gorgeous! So I did what any normal person would do, I skipped the gym and went for a hike! 🙂 I was slightly misled about the hike so the workout wasn’t exactly what I planned for but that’s ok, it was such a lovely day and I had such a great time that I am cool with how things went down. The hike starts about 25 minutes drive from where I live and I was told it is 2 hours, now, I took this to mean 2 hours up and 2 hours down so I planned for a 4 hour (give or take) excursion. Yeah, no, so didn’t happen like that! Even with my pausing at the top to admire the view, sit and chill and actually just be in nature (turned off my music an everything! shocking!), also with my pausing on the way down to take pictures of pretty waterfalls etc the whole thing took me an hour and a half. I feel whoever climbed this thing and gave the time estimate for the climb must be a hobbit and take super itty bitty steps, cause anybody taking 2 hours to do that is either going so slow they might as well be going backwards, somehow manages to get lost (which me being me I almost sorta kinda did since I veered off the path and into the bush a couple times, oops! lol) or like I previously said, is the size of a hobbit. But it’s all good, it was a great hike and I’m glad I did it. I think I will use it as my go to hike during the summer when I don’t have a lot of time but really want to do something outside. 🙂

Friday, I got to take part in a make-up thing a friend is doing. She’s in school to be a make-up artist and she used me as her model, she made me up into total glam, it was sweeeeeeet! I looked great, all thanks to her! don’t take that as me being all valley girl vain (like omg, I am like, sooo hawt I practically sizzle! giggle…gag me! lol) I don’t have copies of the pics yet but I will and they will be a superb addition to my portfolio…even if they don’t do anything to minimize the look of my eyes (long story).

Saturday and Sunday I worked and both days I was in this not feeling sick but not feeling well funk so I didn’t hit up the gym, opting to sleep and hope my immune system figures out what the frak is going on and fixes it…so far that plan is a failure but never lose hope! All in all, I think I had an awesome week! I didn’t write about what I ate but everyday I tried to make healthy decisions, and I feel I managed it for the most part. Sure, I had some chocolate one day, and maybe definitely ate more bread then I should have (seems I’ve totally jumped off the no bread bandwagon as I keep buying the freakin stuff!) but I also made healthy meals, chose healthy options when eating out, was physically active (some days lol) and all in all, just feel good about most of the choices I made. 🙂

the view from the almost top of my hike! :)

the view from the almost top of my hike! 🙂

Not sure what those lines on the bottom left of the picture are…I’m going to pretend I chose for them to be there, creative licence an all! 🙂

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So Many Things

18 Mar

I have so many things I want to blog about tonight it’s crazy lol I have had post ideas almost everyday since my last post but never had time to write them up so now they are all circulating in my head and want to be released in this one post, how oh how do I pick just one? Maybe little bits about everything and in the future I can elaborate if I want to write more? Seems as good a plan as any! 😛

I said in my last post I want to be physically active daily and boohya! (that is so not how to spell the marine sound is it?? lol) I was! *happy dance* Not always in an organized gym visit type of way but in some way…oh wait, I had one day of rest I think, hmm, yeah, yeah I did, due to scheduling and muscle pain (from the previous days workout) but I don’t feel bad about it cause I was active all the other days and ate better then I had been so all in all, I made a lot of improvements in my “healthy living lifestyle” this past week. Personally, I think that deserves a happy dance, don’t you?

Now, what did I do for exercise? That is the fun part! I went to the gym a couple times, one of those visits was after a work shift that ended at 9pm, certain days my gym is open till 11pm, sweet huh? I didn’t get to complete my entire workout because I didn’t get to the gym until 9:45pm and I requested some help for the stairmaster (I wanted to try a new piece of cardio equipment) and the help was long in coming and not really that great, sigh, oh well! I also ran on that visit and used some weight machines aaaaaand did some free weights. I was that annoying person who worked out till literally the last second the place was open lol. You should’ve seen the guy working, he was so irritated but whatever! You are open till 11pm so I am staying till 11pm! neener neener 😛 lol

I also had a great time with my friend KL. Normally when we hang out we go to a movie or dinner or something else sedentary. Not that there is anything wrong with those activities but now that weather is theoretically getting nicer and while we are still young enough to have energy in the evening after a day of work why not do something active? The evening we went out it was pissing rain so no outdoor activity for us! We did something way better though, we went to this boxing class thing. I can’t call it boxing cause it wasn’t us with a boxing coach actually boxing in a ring or anything. It’s basically a twist on that Curves place – ya know, that place where you show up, do a 30 minute circuit training exercise deal and then leave? Ok, so imagine that idea, the 30 minute circuit training but based around boxing, oh, and only for women so no intimidating smelly men to get in the way, lol. Cool huh? I had a lot of fun, it was a really great workout, we were both sweating by the end and neeeeeding water. There is a trainer there who kinda helps push you along, motivationally I mean not literally, and there is a buzzer that lets you know when to not only switch stations but when you are at your station when to switch from normal speed to double time. See, you stay at each station for 2 minutes and in 15 second intervals you go from normal speed to double time. Oh, and the stations are organized so you go from a high intensity activity to a lower intensity activity, so the first station is hitting a punching bag using a left-right jab combo, the next station was abs I think…I can’t remember the order but you know what I mean right? Please say right! lol If you already having boxing or kickboxing training like we both do it is a breeze form wise to get through the circuit and you can really focus on speed and intensity. If you don’t have any experience it might take a bit of adjusting but you’ll get the hang soon enough. 🙂 I would like to join there, switch it up between the gym and that place buuuuut it is expensive, I think it was $50 or $60 bucks a month, something like that, just to do a 30 minute circuit where you’re mostly hitting punching bags and cushions, no sparring or anything…so I am hesitant to join…I think it’d really help me with getting in shape and being stronger for dragon boating but if I do join it won’t be till next month cause of budgeting.

The other exercising was using my exercise bike and doing stuff at home, I didn’t wimp out though, I was doing high intensity and then low intensity exercises to get my heart rate up and get real benefit from my at home workouts. Sidenote, the cat thinks I am nuts, lol, and he sits behind me when I do a sit up so when I go down I bump him and then he has hurt feelings and I have to give him a treat later to make it up to him, brat. 😉

The abso best workout I am going to get though is tomorrow when, dun-dun-dunnnnn…Dragon Boat  season starts!!!!! You can not find a person more excited then me right now! We start training tomorrow so at 7:30pm I will be out on the water, rain or shine, warmth or cold, in sickness or in health lol Seriously, so psyched for this! 😀

hmm…I didn’t get to all my post ideas and already this post is pretty long, guess I’ll have to leave the rest for next time. Let me leave you with a picture of tonights dinner which I actually cooked! No buying dinner for me tonight, I slaved away 😉 and made a healthy meal of grilled red and yellow peppers, steamed asparagus and three skinless boneless chicken tenders that are sweet thai chili sauce flavour. Oh heads up, there is a story behind those, which I guess I am saving for another day lol

Tonights homemade dinner! Mmm!

Tonights homemade dinner! Mmm!

OMG! I almost totally forgot! I watched the finale of The Biggest Loser tonight and am so psyched that Danni won! By one freakin pound! Holy crap! She was always my fave contestant and I am so so so glad that she won! I am going to use her as my inspiration for the next while, when I have a day where I think I can’t do it I’m gonna think of her and how she kicked ass and decide that if she did it then so can I! 😀

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To The Gym – Finally!

11 Mar

WooHoo! I am finally allowed back to the gym!…on a conditional basis but whatever! I’m allowed back that’s all that matters to me! lol It’s not that I miss the gym exactly, more like I miss working out and not feeling like a huge blob sitting in my living room getting bigger and bigger and bigger…I mean c’mon, who wants to feel like that? Not me!

The conditional basis for my return to the world of exercise is this: I am allowed back for two weeks and I must ease in to things, sigh, I’m not good at “easing in” to things, I like to jump right in but fine, *pout* I’ll try to ease in…kinda 😉

After two weeks I have to go back to my physio and he has to reassess me to see how my back and neck are dealing with my normal routine. I don’t know what happens after that…

I’m not sure how well my body is dealing with my normal routine to be honest. I am lifting heavy stuff at work again, I am doing my normal activities, admittedly I haven’t been to the gym as often as I would like because life got in the way and I am totally out of the habit of prioritizing exercise in to my life (I plan to fix that!) but if I don’t make it to the gym I try to use my exercise bike or at least do some core work on my living room floor. I made a rule that if I am watching more then one hour of tv I have to ride the exercise bike for at least an hour while watching tv, and well, me being me, once I’ve done an hour of cardio I’m not going to stop there so then I do push ups, sit ups, core work, stretching, ya know, the normal stuff. However, by the end of the day my neck and back are hurting quite a bit and that is not normal…if I use a heating pad and rest it it seems to do a bit better but it shouldn’t be hurting right?

I’m trying not to think about it too much, I’ll just wait and see what the physio says next week. 🙂

Going back to the gym was…odd. I was actually kinda scared, something I was not expecting. I think the fear was partially because it was a new gym so I wouldn’t know where anything was and it’d take me a bit of time to get oriented and I didn’t know what to expect for how busy it would be or what type of people would be in there (I have noooooo desire to go to a gym that is full of snobs, ugh). The other reason was I have lost muscle mass, my muscle definition is not at all what it used to be and I am squishier around the middle, sigh. While I hate the squishy look I know it’s only a matter of consistent workouts and proper eating to help get that lessened but the big fear was how much my cardio ability and strength ability had declined. I worked hard to become good at running and to be able to lift weights I never thought I’d be able to lift. I was terrified to find that was all gone.

Guess what? It’s gone. 😦

After my first visit to the gym I was torn between being happy I went and feeling good about myself and wanting to cry because I wasn’t able to do as good of a workout as I used to be able to. I ran but not as fast or for as long as I used to, I just couldn’t do it, or couldn’t manage to push myself to do it. Oh, and get this, I totally blanked on my free weight routine. I thought I’d do back and arms but I get to the free weight section, I’m surrounded by buff guys who are lifting ridiculously heavy weights and I blanked on my exercises. I couldn’t remember everything I used to do, was worried I didn’t remember the proper form for some things, didn’t know what weights I should start with (cause I figured I’d have to start with smaller weights than what I used to be able to lift but it was a guessing game of what size) and something new, I was embarrassed to be lifting such small (in comparison to those guys) weights. That is just down right stupid, I am a girl, a girl who is soooo not a body builder so of course I can’t lift the same weights, or anything near! Plus it was my first time back after months away due to injury so nothing to be ashamed about!…and yet…I guess part of the embarrassment was because they were watching me and I was feeling kinda judged by them, not cool, but also probably all in my head so I can’t blame them for that. sigh.

Today was my second time to the gym and I wondered if I was going to feel the same way. I struggled on the treadmill, more then I ever have and that annoys me. Thing is, I think I could have pushed harder, could have done better, but I’ve lost that ability to push myself, to reach a limit I didn’t think I could. Where did that go? Where did that voice in my head that used to encourage me, yell at me, push me to give that little bit extra so I accomplished the goal I set for the day go? That voice is my version of Jillian Michaels, it’s not quite as mean, but it is what got me through some harsh running sessions. I miss it…I’m not sure how to get it back…I’m not even sure when I lost it…and more importantly, what does it mean that I lost it? Has some inner part of me given up? I know some days I feel like that, like I have given up on myself, my future, my goals. I don’t like the feeling, I don’t want to have given up but some days the fight just isn’t there and I don’t know how to get it back. Maybe just jumping in to my routine, starting back at dragon boat practice, just in general being more active will make me feel better about myself and that in turn will help me get that voice back? I dunno…I do know that I neeeeed that voice cause todays running session was lame in comparison to what I used to do. I’m a little lost…

So for now, since I don’t know what to do, I am going to start with the basics. I am going to be physically active everyday. I am going to eat healthier and do my best to follow the 80/20 rule. I am going to surround myself with motivational posters, youtube videos, phrases etc so that when I falter I can find inspiration where ever I am. I am going to research and reteach myself proper weight lifting form, create an actual strength routine so the next time I am in the gym it doesn’t matter if I blank because I will have something written down that tells me what to do. I am going to make this weight loss happen! I am going to find my inner voice! I am going to reteach myself how to fight! I am going to stop giving up and reach my goals! (I feel like I should make that marine noise they make in movies after all that lol)

 

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