Tag Archives: fat

Life Is Short: Eat Dessert First

13 Feb

How many times have you gone out for dinner and told yourself “I’ll only eat part of my dinner so I have room for dessert/don’t feel guilty about eating dessert/earn dessert” or some other variation? I used to do it all the time and what would happen? I’d be so full because even half of a restaurant meal is more then one person needs in one sitting, *rolls eyes*, that I wouldn’t get to have that dessert…or if I ate it I’d feel disgusting after cause dude, way way way too much stuff in my tummy. 😛

Well, since weight watchers restaurant desserts are pretty much off the food list, I mean come on?! Not even I can justify dessert from a restaurant! lol But what is life without dessert? A sad existence is what! Sooooo, I found a loophole, a way to lose weight and still get your restaurant dessert, brilliant! 😀

Eat the dessert first…how simple is that? 🙂

Chocolate Banana Bread Pudding - YUM!

 

Above is the picture of the dessert I chose to eat first Friday evening…worth every unknown point! 😀 It is Chocolate Banana Bread Pudding: banana bread with premium Callebaut chocolate and custard served warm with a scoop of creamy vanilla ice cream. 😀

I did have a reason for putting dessert first on Friday, this isn’t exactly a new and amazing plan of attack against my unwanted fat, lol, KB at work had her birthday so we went out to celebrate. She didn’t get a bday cake or anything from home cause the day before her bday an Uncle died so things in her family are a bit more focused on the dead then the living right now, sucky but it happens. shrug. So I made sure we went out so she could get at least a bit of celebration…and our celebration was dessert. 😛

It was so delish, and so large lol, that I didn’t need or want anything else…we planned to only eat dessert so that worked out well, I was worried I’d still be hungry and want to order an appetizer or something but nope. 🙂 Even when I got home I wasn’t hungry so really, I didn’t just eat my dessert first, it’s all I ate…maybe that should be my new plan? Life is Short: Only Eat Dessert!…hmmm, that doesn’t seem like a good idea, tasty, but not good for me. lol. 😛

Even with eating the bread pudding Friday night I still lost weight this week – my weekly weigh in today showed me down by 0.8 pounds! 😀 It may seem silly I am happy with such a small weight loss but, shrug, I am happy with any weight loss cause hey, as long as the weight is going down then I must be doing something right. 🙂 This puts me at a total weight loss of 27.6 pounds. 😀 See? When you look at the large number that 0.8 doesn’t seem so bad! 🙂

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Hodge Podge Dinner

9 Feb

SB and I sit beside each other at work and man, something was way wrong today. 😦 We both had stomach aches, felt like crap, had no appetite, were freezing…it was weird. We didn’t like it! Like anybody would, right? 😉

So neither of us ate lunch, just weren’t interested in the food deal but by the time I got home I was wanting food so yah! Big dinner cause of no lunch! I didn’t want to eat anything too crazy though so I made a bunch of random things and ate that. lol. Let’s see, I ended up with left over pancakes, cheese, brown rice, mixed veggies, one hot dog weiner, mashed yam…now, not all of those were eaten individually – that really would’ve been weird. lol. The rice, veggies and hot dog were put together in to my poor man’s stirfry, the cheese was put on top of the leftover pancakes…and well, the mashed yams were eaten as is, no need to mess with those. 😛

All in all it was a good, if odd dinner. 🙂 My tummy liked it which is all that really matters, lol.

Today I ate:

29 grams Honey Bunches of Oats w/ Pecan Bunches = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt w/ fibre = 2 points

30 grams light cheese = 2 points

3 pancakes = 3 points

1/2 cup mashed yams = 1.5 points

1 cup brown rice = 4 points

1 light hot dog weiner = 1 point

1 tbls creole dijon sauce = 1 point

mixed cooked veggies = 0 points

Total points eaten = 18.5 Not too shabby. 🙂

So I’m undecided as to how to use my last 1.5 points – do I have a 1 point cup of hot chocolate and then stay 0.5 point under or should I eat a nibbly for 2 points and go half a point over, or eat a nibble that’ll leave me 0.5 under…really, my decision is between the hot chocolate or a nibbly…sigh…

Oh! That reminds me! The weight watchers hot chocolate my mom sent me in that package yesterday, turns out my uncle sent it to her and she passed it on to me…this matters cause that means it came all the way from England and sadly, can not be bought in Canada 😦 …I’m not sure if it is available in the US or not, shrug. I was s’posed to go to the states end of Feb for some shopping so I was gonna hit up a grocery store to stock up on weight watchers foods that aren’t available here (which is a lot!) but the trip has to be put off so it’ll be  a while longer till I know if it’s available there or not. sigh.

It sucks that there are so many more weight watchers foods in the states then up here, there used to be more up here but I dunno, they went away. shrug. Kinda like the dinosaurs…just…gone… 😛

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Presents In The Mail!

7 Feb

I got a parcel in the mail today, yah! Who doesn’t like getting stuff in the mail? pfft, nobody! 😛 The parcel is from my parents and is filled with what on the surface looked like junk food – shocking right? But I know my mom better then that and  when you actually read the packages all the so called junk food was actually diet/weight watchers friendly snacks. 😀 My parents rock!

I got Popchips www.popchips.com which are chips that are popped, never fried never baked (slogan!) and are only 2 points a bag. They were yum! 😀 There are also thinsations (ritz and fudge bars), weight watchers pretzels, weight watchers hot chocolate, weight watchers mini bars in a couple different flavours. So all of the goodies are treats that will easily fit in to my food plan. It has to be said again: My parents rock! 😀

I shared my top 8 headshots with the people at work today – wanted to get opinions/feedback. I think it made the whole choosing process harder, lol. Everyone has a different opinion, the picture person A loves person B thinks makes me look psychotic. How can people not agree? eesh. And to top it off a friend was all “you asked for my opinion so I am gonna give it” and he said most of the pictures aren’t good (he blamed the angles at least, not my face) and these two pics that everyone says are amazing make me look fat (according to him), sigh. So of course, even with all the compliments I got over the pictures, those two pics in particular, all that keeps repeating in my head is what he said. Oh, I should clarify, this isn’t a friend from work he’s in a different province. Stupid boy. blarg. But! Here’s the up side! Despite his comments making me feel uncertain about what I look like and wanting some kind of comfort I did not head for the kitchen – go willpower go! Instead I headed off to my Zumba class and sweated out my anxiety – a much healthier way to deal. lol. 😀

A friend at work, ZG, brought cookies to work today. Remember how yesterday I was all “gonna be super strict this week!” – well, I forgot that in the cookie-moment and totally took a cookie. lol. I figured my home made chocolate chip cookies aren’t that bad points wise so neither would hers be. When I asked her about them she informed me she didn’t make them, they were Pillsbury…I didn’t know what that meant. lol. Turns out cookies from Pillsbury are cookies from a tube??? What the hell is that? That’s not a cookie – that processed chemical crap – fairly decent tasting crap but still…what happened to just making cookies from scratch? sigh. I don’t get this whole baking from a box/tube/container thing…and it left a bad aftertaste, yuch. So, I found this info out halfway through eating the cookie – me being me I immediately went online and found nutritional info for Pillsbury choc chip cookies and then stopped eating the cookie. It was 3 points, for a cookie that isn’t even that good! Least I found out half way thru…shrug.

So let’s see what I ate today:

29 grams Honey Bunches of Oats with Pecan Bunches = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 orange = 1 point

1/2 cup Maple Baked Beans = 2 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 Activia Yogurt = 2 points

1/2 Pillsbury choc chip cookie = 1.5 points

carrots = 0 points

1 whole wheat wrap = 2 points

3 pepperoni slices = 2 points

1 turkey slice = 0 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

30 grams shredded cheese = 2 points

1 package popchips = 2 points

2 pieces bread = 2 points

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

1 weight watchers choco mint flavoured mini bar = 1 point

Total points eaten = 23.5

Exercise Points earned = 3

Over by 0.5 points – it was either be over by half a point or under, I opted for over. shrug. I figure half a point won’t kill me or screw me on the scales. lol.

So now it is night time, I am crazed tired but was enjoying watching Rocky so much I stayed up, lol. I do this every monday – I am tired from Zumba and yet I never go to bed early, I stay up later then my body wants and then tuesday morning sucks on a whole new level then what it needs to. sigh. Maybe one monday I will learn? heh, don’t hold your breath! 😛

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Crazy Days!

6 Feb

Talk about being thrown for a loop! A good loop but still a loop! lol. 😀

I had an appointment Saturday at 11:30am to get new headshots – yah! So Friday after work I was going to get my eyebrows cleaned up, buy a black cami (I discovered the day before mine is now way too big, sweet!), exfoliate, shave uber carefully, pack the clothes that I was taking to the photo shoot, give myself a mani pedi, retry on the outfits I was planning to wear and basically groom the evening away so I was as beautiful as possible Saturday…well, here’s the loop! I got a text Friday morning when I was at work informing me the shoot had to be moved and how was 4pm Friday for me?

Ack! Talk about freak out! For starters, I work till 4:30pm so can’t really be in two places at once…I’m just not that talented, go figure lol. After some back and forth I got it moved to 5pm and thanks to having an awesome team leader I was allowed to leave work at 12:30pm so I could do everything that needed doing and get to the shoot on time. You should’ve seen me! I left work 12:30pm on the dot then became a crazy person rushing to the eyebrow place, rushing to the clothes store, rushing to my place to take over the bathroom, rushing to pack then rushing to the studio. So much rushing!

I actually managed to get to the studio early so I sat in my suv and tried to relax. lol. Oh, and to top it all off once I got that text about the changing day/time for the shoot I stopped eating and drinking cause hello? I am fattest at the end of day cause of food and drink, and my teeth are slightly less white at the end of the day due to the tea I drink so yeah, I was rushing, stressed and under-fueled. lol. I didn’t feel hungry the entire time though cause of how rushed/stressed I was, so yah? lol.

The photo shoot went a-frickin-mazing! Sooooo much fun and the pictures came out great! The photographer did such an amazing job and so did the makeup lady. They made me so pretty! 🙂 I am taking the top 8 pics to work tomorrow to show peeps and put the top 14 on my facebook page so I can get feedback from friends and others in the acting community as to which is the best to use when agent hunting.

After the shoot was all over and I was leaving I realized I was really hungry, shocking huh? lol. I decided to treat myself and I ordered a personal sized beef taco pizza from Panago. I know that celebrating a great photo shoot by eating pizza isn’t the smartest thing to do but, I dunno, it’s habit I guess…and man, that pizza was gooooood! lol 😛

So Saturday was a much calmer day, lol, I slept in, met up with KL, we went for sushi, she went over the pictures that I printed from the shoot and helped me narrow the list down. To give some perspective for this, there were 178 picutes in total, I printed out 31 pictures, and now it’s narrowed down to 8…it’s hard to pick when there are so many choices but when going through the entire pile you kinda wish there were even more to pick from lol. Greedy huh?

I have no idea what kind of points I ate yesterday, what with the sushi, and then random things I ate after the sushi, shrug. I didn’t even try to count! Shocking!

Oh, and I didn’t weigh myself saturday cause that pizza I ate friday didn’t get eaten till almost 8:30pm so I figured it was still in my digestive track somewhere and I wouldn’t end up with a reliable weigh in number. I weighed myself today though and wOOt! The weight I gained after I got over being sick is now gone, and I lost a little bit extra, yah! I am now at 26.8lbs total lost. 😀 😀 😀 I’m kinda surprised cause of eating the pizza friday and then the sushi etc on saturday – I was kinda expecting to be the same or higher. Really, when I look back at the food I ate this week, it was a week full of little cheats that should have added up to disaster on the scale and yet, somehow, they didn’t…

However, I am not going to continue on the track of allowing myself little cheats everyday – this past week was some freakish anomoly that I am putting down to the stress I was feeling about the upcoming photo shoot but that is done and over and I ended up with great pics so now I must get myself back on track with my food. Can’t go screwing up all royal now can I? Nope! I can’t!

Today I ate my 20 points, no flex points for me! Sure, I didn’t eat all healthy stuff exactly – I mean, it’s the weekend, I slept in so I got to treat myself to a higher pointed first meal 😛 but I did eat lots of veggies and I had a salmon steak for dinner so I got myself some healthy protein…heck, I even got some calcium in there!

So the work week starts tomorrow, ugh, and so does my week of being strict with myself – it’s not that I won’t eat any flex points this week I just won’t use as many as last week and I will not eat something stupidly unhealthy just cause it is there (for example, that oh so yummy bbq pork bun I had last week, sigh…) This week will be all about balanced protein and veggies and healthy choices for every meal! Wonder how long that’ll last? lol. 😛

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Huh, how’d I manage that?

3 Feb

I ate such bad for me foods today! They were soooooo good though that I just can’t bring myself to feel bad about it. lol. I ate…a Chinese BBQ Pork Bun, an egg custard tart and a fortune cookie! I know! Go ahead, shake a finger at me and tsk, I know I deserve it but I still don’t care! 😛

Chinese Steamed Buns - YUM!

Why did I eat all these foods? Chinese New Years! Well, ok, not exactly. I mean yes, it is the Chinese New Year, and the goodies were brought in to the office because of that but it’s not like I was out celebrating new years, I just really love Chinese food and was irresistably drawn to the pork buns – they are so frikkin good! The egg custard tart I was so close to resisting but SB who sits next to me took one and tried a tiny bite and didn’t like it (how she didn’t like it I don’t know – I think she must be crazy! lol) but so she gave the rest to me and I’m sorry but I leave no egg custard tarts behind! 😉 The fortune cookies were handed out, one for everyone in the office, and I figured by that point I might as well just eat it. lol.

Egg Custard Tarts - Double YUM!

After I ate all this food (all before lunch btw) I decided that it would all be flex points and I would just eat normal throughout the rest of the day like I hadn’t splurged…I have flex points so why not use em? I thought for sure I’d be over my points and didn’t want to stress the rest of the day about what to eat. Well, bonus time! The bbq pork bun filled me up so well that I didn’t want lunch so I skipped over lunch and that saved my ass! woohoo. I just rememberd I had a banana in the afternoon so ok, I went over by 1 point, oh gee, the horror. *rolls eyes*

Who’d of ever thought in one day I could eat three such bad for me things and only go over my points by 1??? Not me!

Here is what I ate today:

1 pckg instant quaker oatmeal = 3 points

1 bbq pork bun = 6 points

1 egg custard tart = 3 points

1 fortune cookie = 2 points

1 orange = 1 point

1 bodywise bagel = 2 points

1 scrambled egg = 2 points

1/2 tbls light miracle whip = 0 points

1/2 tbls mustard = 0 points

1 deli turkey slice = 0 points

cooked mixed veggies = 0 points

1 thinsations fudge bar = 2 points

Total points eaten = 22 😀

Where as normally I’d be a bit mad at myself for going over by 1 point this evening I am so happy cause I only went over by 1 point and it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

So Happy New Years Everyone – go eat a Chinese bbq pork bun and enjoy! 😀 😀 😀

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Oh Yawn

2 Feb

Soooooo tired *yawn* I had the worst sleep last night, went to bed late and kept waking up all through the night, ugh. I hate when that happens. 😦  I was out at the movies last night with a friend, we saw Blue Valentine, have you seen it? It rocks and I totally recommend it – I paid the price for going out last night by having a killer tired day but hey, you can’t stop having a social life just so you can get a good nights sleep…right?

Usually when I am uber tired I crave carbs – quick energy ya know! But not today, weird but nice. I didn’t have any trouble sticking to my points today and I wasn’t craving any not allowed foods. Maybe part of it was cause all I wanted to do was have a nap, my body wasn’t wanting fuel it was wanting sleep lol. 😀

So you’d think I’d come home and have a nap right? Nope! Not my style. As much as I may want to nap I don’t – naps just make me feel draggy and more tired afterwards. I am hoping by staying awake and being active (not exercise active but doing stuff active) I will sleep better tonight – I’m crossing my fingers about this. 😛

My activity this evening? Baking! Yah! I made banana chocolate chip cake – I never know if I should call it cake or bread, I bake it in loaf pans and it gets sliced like bread…and some people warm up their slice and put margarine on it…all that screams bread to me but the original recipe is my mother’s and she put it in a cake dish and it was cut in to small squares and was definitely a cake…so uh, hmm…I still don’t know, shrug. It doesn’t really matter I s’pose, all that matters is that it is a well loved recipe I like making and people love eating the results. 🙂 The best part of baking for me is seeing people enjoy what I make – well that and the actual process of creating the baked goods…it’s just so much fun!

I forgot my food tracker at work, oops, let’s see if I can remember what I ate today:

1 pckg Instant Quaker Oatmeal = 3 points

1 orange = 1 point

1 cup Fire Roasted Sweet Pepper & Tomato soup = 2 points

1 piece bread = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

raw carrots = 0 points

1 Bodywise Bagel = 2 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

light miracle whip, mustard = 0 points

1 scrambled egg = 2 points

1 slice deli turkey = 0 points

mixed cooked veggies = 0 points

1 banana bran muffin = 2 points

1/2 cup peppermint candy ice cream = 4 points

Total points eaten is 21. 😀

Yes, you read the last food item in the list correct, I ate ice cream! hehehehe. Oh and you know what? It was gooooood! I saw it in the grocery store, it was uber cheap and a limited time flavour, what can I say – advertisers know how to snag me. lol. I figured if I am careful with it I can enjoy it without screwing up my diet and today I did ok. 🙂 Sure, 4 points for something that is a snack and not beneficial nutrient wise is kinda stupid but sometimes a girl just needs a treat. lol. Oh, fyi, the ice cream was strawberry with candy cane crushed up in to it, wow! Who came up with that? Cause that idea was fricken brilliant! 😀

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3 Points Left…

31 Jan

I have 3 points left for the day and I don’t know what to eat! I know what I want, lol, shocking I know, *rolls eyes* I want peanut butter…buuuuut, if I put peanut butter on bread that’ll use my last 3 points and that means no sweet little nibbly…hmm, is the peanut butter worth that sacrifice? Probably not…but the dilemma remains…what to eat?

I had a super yummy mid day treat that was totally unexpected. IF at work brought home made dumplings (IF is Chinese and knows what she is doing when it comes to cooking!), I am not sure of all the ingredients, she told me I just can’t remember, oops! lol What I do know is they rocked! 🙂 They were steamed (good) and small (good) and full of healthy stuff (good) which is why I didn’t feel guilty eating some of them. 🙂 I googled to try to figure out the points and found huuuge variations cause it depends how they are cooked, what is in them, all kinds of stuff. I decided to take one of the lower points calculations cause all the ones I found online were from restaurants and I know these ones are healthier then any you’d get in a restaurant!

OMG! haha, sorry, I literally just realized that I have Exercise Points cause I had Zumba class tonight so I don’t have 3 points left I have 6! 😀 I wouldn’t normally interrupt myself in such a manner that not only ruins the flow of my words 😛 but gives you a glimpse of how screwy my brain can be sometimes but this was just too funny to not share! lol. I am soooo having peanut butter on bread now! wOOt!

Ok, back on track, the dumplings…uh yeah, I think I was pretty much done talking about them, they were delicious, home made, healthy-ish and a nice little treat. She said she brought them because I am always bringing baking in to work and she wanted to share with me and some others, well, lemme tell you, her cooking is way better then my baking! Well…in my opinion…lol. 😉

So today I ate:

1 Instant Quaker Oatmeal = 3 points

1 cup chicken noodle soup = 2 points

1 crumpet = 1 point

3 dumplings = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 cup brown rice = 4 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

1 tbls creole dijon sauce = 1 point

2 small pieces chicken = 3 points

Total points eaten = 18. Exercise points earned = 3. Points left to eat (in case you forgot lol) = 6!

I swear, the extra food points earned from exercising totally makes the exercising worth while. 😀 And now on to the peanut butter on bread! hooya! 😀

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Hot Dogs: The Poor Man’s Chicken

29 Jan

I guess I should have said the poor woman’s chicken, being that I am female but oh well. 😛

The other night I wanted Chinese food…this is problematic cause (1) Chinese food is expensive, (2) I don’t know any good Chinese food places in this sushi obsessed city and (3) Chinese food does not easily fit in to the land of Weight Watchers. Don’t get me wrong, it can be done!…just not easily. shrug. So although I wanted Chinese food I knew it wasn’t going to happen. Then I was struck by inspiration! I had some brown rice in the fridge, I could take that, add some of the leftover grilled chicken that was also in the fridge and some veggies and make my own version of Chicken Fried Rice – voila! Granted, not the Chinese food dish I was actually wanting but hey, compromises must be made!

When I got home I pulled out the rice, the veg and the chicken and was all ready to start adding things to the frying pan when a thought occurred…how long can cooked chicken be in the fridge before it is too long? Can I even still use this chicken? Luckily the roomie was around so I asked her, hoping beyond hope she’d give a really big number…she figured on 3 days, maybe 5 max…well, huh, it had been in there at least 7 days…is that too long? *confused face* I decided to not risk it, being that food poisoning is not on my list of things to do this month 😉 and sadly threw it out…but, now what? I didn’t want just veg and rice but the only other meat or meat like substance I had on hand were breaded chicken strips and salmon steaks…neither are what I needed, then a whole new burst of inspiration!

I have hot dogs! Light hot dogs! And I love hot dogs so why not? Who says a hot dog can’t substitute for chicken? Well ok, probably a lot of people say that but who cares, they aren’t the ones eating this meal! lol. I boiled the hot dog, then added it (all cut up) to the frying pan with the rice and mixed veggies…I feel I added a sauce to it…yeah I did! I added some of my creole dijon sauce…thus taking away any chance of the dish reminding me of Chinese food but once I start cooking I get inspired by odd ideas and generally move away from my original plan. shrug.

So there we have it, not Chicken Fried Rice but Hot Dog Fried Rice (with creole dijon sauce), healthy, a light dish, tasty, filling…all the things dinner should be, and bonus, low in points! 😀 Something I will definitely make again.

Some good news to throw your way, I lost another pound! Yah! So, last week I gained 2 lbs but this week I got rid of one of those…almost back on track! 😀 I will be so happy when I lose one more pound and am back to where I feel I should be…I didn’t tell anybody I gained weight, I just sorta kept my mouth shut about my weigh in last week cause I didn’t want to confess the number on the scale went up. Yeah, sigh, I know it was cause of being sick and my body being off kilter and blah blah blah, but none of that takes away from the mild shame I felt when I saw the number had gone up. ugh. But now it is going down again, phew, and right in time! I have my photo shoot in exactly a week and if my weight had stayed the same or gone up this week I would have freaked out, now is not the time to be adding weight to the fatness that is my body, not before something as important as this photo shoot! 

But luckily, no freak out, the number went down, someone  I haven’t seen in a while told me today that I look like I have lost a lot of weight 😀 and in general it was a good day. How can it not be a good day when someone comments about you obviously having lost weight? lol 😀

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I’m Cravin Foooooood!

27 Jan

I am not hungry…hear that stomach? I’m not hungry! You don’t need anything else in you cause you’re full…so why oh why do I want to keep eating? All this week I just want more food…I want the food I take with me to work, I want the food that is provided free at work, I want the snacks and nibblies that are in the meetings, I just want foooood! I keep finding myself reaching for things that not only do I not need they are the absolute wrong food choices to make.

I am home, have eaten dinner and am full but I keep wanting to go in to the kitchen and get something to snack on…I have no points left and don’t need food but need seems to have nothing to do with my eating desires this week…this week it is all about what I want and that boys n girls is just not good! 

So far I have managed to not cave too much, I had a bit of cheese at a meeting yesterday but I did count it in my daily food diary – mind you it wasn’t measured out cheese and most likely wasn’t light cheese so the points were a guesstimate but I let myself get away with that cause the other food items on the platters that I wanted were the cinnamon buns…or one of the sandwiches…well, ok, there were a lot of amazingly good looking foods and I kinda wanted some of everything so I consider it a close call I got out of there after only eating cheese. lol. But see? This is what I am talking about! I got cocky about being able to resist bad for me foods and now I am having trouble resisting them, sigh.

Before Christmas I was all “whatev, I can resist all the yummy treats, it’s not a big deal” people kept commenting on my willpower and I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was cause it wasn’t hard to resist the food…then Christmas hit and I ate lots but before that could mess me up I got way sick and stopped eating (well, not completely cause then I’d be dead but I ate maybe once a day) so I lost weight from that and also, when I did eat I let myself eat whatever I wanted cause I was barely eating and needed higher calorie foods. Now, I am healthier, eating my points on a daily basis but haven’t gotten over the mindset of eating whatever I want which means I keep reaching for more food then what I need and higher pointed foods. Argh!

I have to reassess my goals I think…I keep thinking of the big final goal and that makes it too hard to focus on the day to day eating. I usually try to aim for the next 10lbs max, then, when I reach that 10lb goal I get a little treat and yah, it’s another 10lbs to add to the total weight loss number but I dunno, all I think about now is the final number I want to reach and how far away I am from it. That number is so far away that I figure I might as well eat the cheese at the meeting cause I’m so far away from my goal it won’t make a huge difference…I know that is stupid and wrong thinking but hey, it’s where I’m at right now. 

This behaviour and outlook are being influenced by my upcoming headshots for sure; don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to the photoshoot but I am stressing about how I am gonna look, if I’m gonna see the pics and only think “holy fuck, I’m still so fat!” I like how I look in real life and on film but I have a tendancy to look like an idiot in pictures, sigh, and I guess that’s all I keep thinking about, how fat I am gonna look and how stupid I look in pictures. *rolls eyes* In true me fashion I am sub-consciously self-sabatoging my weight loss efforts so that if my pictures look lame or I can’t get an agent with them I can blame my being fat and no one being willing to give me a chance cause of my fatness. Pathetic, sigh.

I am trying to remind myself about the photo shoot everytime I start to reach for something I shouldn’t be eating – my new short term goal is to survive until the photo shoot, just make it that far and then I can have a treat of some kind…like a cinnamon bun lol.

So my lesson today, and really for the week, is remember the little goals, the reachable ones and when you start reaching for the bad food search deep down in your psyche to find out why you can’t seem to resist the food…only once you learn what is making you eat will you be better able to defend yourself against all those food urges…now excuse me while I go and read a baking cook book and dream 😉

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That’s Not Right!

25 Jan

I made one of my salmon steaks for dinner tonight – a new flavour Applewood Smoke and Maple, as it was cooking it smelled so yummy so I was quite looking forward to it. Well, something went not right and it turned out super dry and just plain yuck. Usually it’s tender and flaky and goooood (well, the other flavours I have had are like that) but this one, nope. Before you ask, yes the oven was at the right temp and yes I had it in for the correct amount of time…I don’t know why it dried out like that… 

It was so nasty I couldn’t force it down, shrug, so in to the garbage it went, sigh, what a waste! I only had like 3 small bites of it so I am not counting points for those 3 bites, I mean come on, really?  For 3 bites? Nuh-uh. To replace the salmon I had 2 pieces of bread with light peanut butter on them, maybe not what some would consider “balanced” but hey, it tasted good. lol. 🙂

Here is my food so far today:

1 pckg Quaker instant oatmeal = 3 points

1 apple = 1 point

1 cup Red Pepper Black Bean soup = 2 points

1 crumpet = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 banana chocolate bran muffin = 2 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

2 pieces bread = 2 points

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

50 grams dates = 3 points

Total points eaten so far = 18, means I get 3 more! 🙂 Thank goodness I haven’t gone over yet, phew!

I am planning on having another muffin for 2 points (hey, they are good!) and I have a Mini York Peppermint Patty which is a whopping 1 point, :P, so that’ll be my little bit of sweetness…hmm, I just realized it’s in my purse, so I’ll be having that if it hasn’t been squashed, eek! Not the patty! Oh the horrors! lol.

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