Tag Archives: headshots

Stuff To Share

28 Nov

Alrighty, so I skipped writing a post yesterday and now I feel I have too much stuff to share and not enough time to type…that and I’m sure I’d lose all my readers before they got through such a long post lol I thought I’d try writing it all in bullet form, see how that goes, shall we give it a go? 🙂

  • I picked up my new headshots today! Yay! The levels of excitement I have over this are through the roof! They turned out great – I always feel like I’m being narcissistic when I say that lol I don’t mean they are great because of me but because of the border and the font for my name and the overall look of the thing. I want to share them with you but I don’t have photo shop so I can’t black out my name along the bottom and while I might be leaning to the side of “it’s ok to share pics of me on this blog now” I don’t want to give you my full name…no offence but I think we still need a bit of space between you an I, don’t you? 😉
  • When I was picking up the headshots I was driving through the sketchy part of downtown and saw a homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a building, surfing on his laptop. For some reason this made me really curious about what he was doing, updating his facebook status? Tweeting the random stuff he sees? Looking for an online sale? Job hunting?
  • Two days in a row I made sure to go to Zumba, yay me! I resisted my natural inclination to be lazy and exercised. I’m really enjoying Zumba, I get all sweaty and gross but have lots of fun while doing it. I have trouble thinking of Zumba as real exercise because of how much fun it is. Don’t take this to mean I look good while doing it! Oh heavens no! But hey, most of us look ridiculous to some degree so I figure that’s ok. 🙂
if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

if I keep doing Zuma do I get to look like this? Pleeeeease?

  • I have been searching for a replacement piece for one of my cat’s toys for almost a week, finally got it which means the cat has stopped giving me looks of death every time he tries to use his toy and can’t lol Oh, and because I can’t resist buying the little furball stuff I bought him a soft catnip filled toy in the shape of a pig. Cutest. Thing. Ever!! For those of you who don’t know I heart pigs and seeing my cat scoop a little pig in to his mouth then walk purposefully away so he can have privacy while he plays with it was freakin adorable!
  • Another cat story, last night the cat clawed me in juuuuust the wrong way, ouch! His claw sliced through where my thumbnail connects to the skin of my thumb, along the side of the nail. He got quite deep and it bled for ages. Now it hurts to do pretty much everything and I am still muttering under my breath about getting a dog (in an attempt to put him in his place). He is of course acting super extra over the top cute (not a hard thing for him) and knows that I will forgive him soon…he probably also knows he doesn’t have to fear a dog being brought in here since he is obviously in charge, sigh, I’m so whipped 😛
I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I'm not just a big baby lol

I swear it is a lot worse then it looks in this pic and I’m not just a big baby lol

  • I watched an interesting documentary this evening called Xmas Without China. About how people in the States are so anti-China and anti products being imported from China but could not survive without them. A family got rid of all items in their house for the month of December that were Made In China and were not allowed to buy anything that was Made In China. Lemme tell ya, their place looked bleak once everything was taken away. Even their dishes were gone! It gave them a new perspective on just how much they rely on other countries (specifically China) to survive and how they as a country don’t really produce anything and the guy who came up with the project learned to be a bit less biased towards the States (probably a good thing since he moved there when he was 8 from China and is now at least mid-twenties).
  • I have lost the ability to sleep at night, ugh. I am going to bed later and later and even once I am in bed I don’t fall asleep, I just lie there, for ages. That’d be fine if I wasn’t about to start my work week, meaning I will have to actually get up at a decent time instead of sleep the day away. I’m not sleeping any longer than anyone else (on average) I’m just sleeping 4am-noon instead of 11pm-7am.
  • I’m really sick of the ads for Black Friday. Even though this weekend is not our Thanksgiving the stores up here give all the same Black Friday sales as you would get if you were in the States so there is a constant bombardment of ads via email, tv, billboards, radio, websites and any other way you can imagine telling us to shop! shop! shop! It’s not that I don’t like shopping but having a holiday that is supposed to be about families getting together, spending time with each other and thinking about what you are thankful for being oh-so-over-board commercialized is making me mildly disgusted with the whole thing. I don’t remember it being this bad last year, was it this bad last year? Also, I keep hearing that stores in the States are opening on Thanksgiving? Seriously? People don’t get a day to just chill with their families without feeling like they are missing all the best deals? Oy! I’d be pissed if I normally got it off but now had to work it because some corporate suit decided the store should open so he/she gets their yearly bonus *rolls eyes*
  • I bought mandarin oranges, Mmm! A sure sign of it being the Christmas Season! It’s ridiculous, no way can one person eat an entire box but I’ll do my best and then share the rest. 🙂
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

And that is it for now! 🙂 I’ll type you all later!

I Am A Coke Bottle

18 Jul

I am a coke bottle.

Yup, you read that right. However, do you understand what I mean by it? Probably not…but no worries cause I wouldn’t know what it meant if someone said that to me and I hadn’t been to film school, lol.

Ok, anyone who is in the entertainment industry is a product, products are there to be sold. I should amend that, some of the people in the entertainment industry are there to do the buying and selling of the products (the actors, musicians, writers etc). When one of my teachers told my class to think of ourselves like Coke Bottles and it was up to us and our agents to “sell” us to casting directors and others within the industry it made me really think about what I was getting myself in to. It didn’t disuade me from continuing on my journey towards being a paid actor though cause really, that is all I want to do so if that is how the industry perceives actors, well, that’s fine with me. 🙂

There are lots of things to think about when you start thinking of yourself as a product and not a person – there are things I can’t do to myself without some serious thinking because the changes I make to myself will affect agents wanting me and affect what auditions I can be sent out for. shrug. Soooooo what does this mean? It means that even though I really really really want to get my nose pierced with a little silver hoop and get my upper left ear pierced with a bar that connects two different sections of my ear lobe I will do neither, cause I have a face that can be quite commercial/girl next door if I tone down my makeup but that will be lost if I am covered in piercings.

Also, because my hair has to match what I look like in my headshots once my pictures were taken I became fully committed to keeping this haircut cause I can’t afford new headshots. That is ok though cause I like my haircut…or I did.

I had my first encounter with changing my appearance in a way I didn’t want to but that was suggested (in a very firm, I can’t actually say no to the suggestion kind of way) when I had my first meeting with IQ, the acting coach who is going to film my demo reel. Now you might be thinking, why change your appearance because one person said to, simple, she is crazy good at what she does and not making the change she suggested (in that very firm tone) would be the same as being told by a lawyer “don’t talk!” but you go blathering away when the detective questions you – why would you not take the advice of someone who knows more then you and is only trying to help you?

So, my hair has been changed. I spoke to IQ about my concern about changing my hair since I can’t afford new headshots and she said I won’t need new headshots, at least not for agent hunting, because they will have the demo reel to watch and will see me there with the new look but the new look isn’t soooo drastically different from what they will see in the headshots. It made more sense when she said it to me lol.

I changed my hair in the way IQ suggested…and I don’t like it! ugh. I was fairly certain I wouldn’t, what she wanted done is so not my style but others think it looks good so I’m thinking maybe it looks good but my own prejudice against this particular hairstyle is making me more critical of it then normal. Oh, I should probably say what got done huh? I now have sidesweeping bangs…sigh. I hate bangs!

The reason IQ wanted me to get them is because she wanted to “soften my look”, especially around the eyes. I (according to her) have a dominant forehead and large eyes, uh, duh! lol. This I already knew, shrug. So she wanted the sidesweeping bangs to soften my eye area and make my forhead less dominant. sigh. I would have been more comfie if she asked me to chop all my hair off, or get a piercing, or pretty much anything else but noooooo, she had to ask me to get bangs. *rolls eyes*

They totally change the shape of my face in a way I don’t like, my face looks fatter now! Fatter! I spend all this time losing weight and am working to lose the rest of it and what happens?? I get a stupid hair cut that makes my face look fatter, so Not cool! This whole softening (aka fattening) the look of my face had better work!

Since the haircut on Saturday I have been hiding out in my apartment but I had dragon boating tonight so what could I do but go out in public? I figured I might as well just get everything over with so I hiked this afternoon, came home, showered, ate, then went dragon boating. So now lots of people have seen me with these bangs – since I wasn’t pointed at or openly laughed at I can only assume I don’t look as ridiculous as I think I do, *rolls eyes* no real guarantee about that tho 😛

My first time having to change my look because someone else said so, I went through with it, and am even dealing with the change in a slowly decreasingly bitter way lol, looks like I am ok with being a product! 😀

Presents In The Mail!

7 Feb

I got a parcel in the mail today, yah! Who doesn’t like getting stuff in the mail? pfft, nobody! 😛 The parcel is from my parents and is filled with what on the surface looked like junk food – shocking right? But I know my mom better then that and  when you actually read the packages all the so called junk food was actually diet/weight watchers friendly snacks. 😀 My parents rock!

I got Popchips www.popchips.com which are chips that are popped, never fried never baked (slogan!) and are only 2 points a bag. They were yum! 😀 There are also thinsations (ritz and fudge bars), weight watchers pretzels, weight watchers hot chocolate, weight watchers mini bars in a couple different flavours. So all of the goodies are treats that will easily fit in to my food plan. It has to be said again: My parents rock! 😀

I shared my top 8 headshots with the people at work today – wanted to get opinions/feedback. I think it made the whole choosing process harder, lol. Everyone has a different opinion, the picture person A loves person B thinks makes me look psychotic. How can people not agree? eesh. And to top it off a friend was all “you asked for my opinion so I am gonna give it” and he said most of the pictures aren’t good (he blamed the angles at least, not my face) and these two pics that everyone says are amazing make me look fat (according to him), sigh. So of course, even with all the compliments I got over the pictures, those two pics in particular, all that keeps repeating in my head is what he said. Oh, I should clarify, this isn’t a friend from work he’s in a different province. Stupid boy. blarg. But! Here’s the up side! Despite his comments making me feel uncertain about what I look like and wanting some kind of comfort I did not head for the kitchen – go willpower go! Instead I headed off to my Zumba class and sweated out my anxiety – a much healthier way to deal. lol. 😀

A friend at work, ZG, brought cookies to work today. Remember how yesterday I was all “gonna be super strict this week!” – well, I forgot that in the cookie-moment and totally took a cookie. lol. I figured my home made chocolate chip cookies aren’t that bad points wise so neither would hers be. When I asked her about them she informed me she didn’t make them, they were Pillsbury…I didn’t know what that meant. lol. Turns out cookies from Pillsbury are cookies from a tube??? What the hell is that? That’s not a cookie – that processed chemical crap – fairly decent tasting crap but still…what happened to just making cookies from scratch? sigh. I don’t get this whole baking from a box/tube/container thing…and it left a bad aftertaste, yuch. So, I found this info out halfway through eating the cookie – me being me I immediately went online and found nutritional info for Pillsbury choc chip cookies and then stopped eating the cookie. It was 3 points, for a cookie that isn’t even that good! Least I found out half way thru…shrug.

So let’s see what I ate today:

29 grams Honey Bunches of Oats with Pecan Bunches = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 orange = 1 point

1/2 cup Maple Baked Beans = 2 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 Activia Yogurt = 2 points

1/2 Pillsbury choc chip cookie = 1.5 points

carrots = 0 points

1 whole wheat wrap = 2 points

3 pepperoni slices = 2 points

1 turkey slice = 0 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

30 grams shredded cheese = 2 points

1 package popchips = 2 points

2 pieces bread = 2 points

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

1 weight watchers choco mint flavoured mini bar = 1 point

Total points eaten = 23.5

Exercise Points earned = 3

Over by 0.5 points – it was either be over by half a point or under, I opted for over. shrug. I figure half a point won’t kill me or screw me on the scales. lol.

So now it is night time, I am crazed tired but was enjoying watching Rocky so much I stayed up, lol. I do this every monday – I am tired from Zumba and yet I never go to bed early, I stay up later then my body wants and then tuesday morning sucks on a whole new level then what it needs to. sigh. Maybe one monday I will learn? heh, don’t hold your breath! 😛

Crazy Days!

6 Feb

Talk about being thrown for a loop! A good loop but still a loop! lol. 😀

I had an appointment Saturday at 11:30am to get new headshots – yah! So Friday after work I was going to get my eyebrows cleaned up, buy a black cami (I discovered the day before mine is now way too big, sweet!), exfoliate, shave uber carefully, pack the clothes that I was taking to the photo shoot, give myself a mani pedi, retry on the outfits I was planning to wear and basically groom the evening away so I was as beautiful as possible Saturday…well, here’s the loop! I got a text Friday morning when I was at work informing me the shoot had to be moved and how was 4pm Friday for me?

Ack! Talk about freak out! For starters, I work till 4:30pm so can’t really be in two places at once…I’m just not that talented, go figure lol. After some back and forth I got it moved to 5pm and thanks to having an awesome team leader I was allowed to leave work at 12:30pm so I could do everything that needed doing and get to the shoot on time. You should’ve seen me! I left work 12:30pm on the dot then became a crazy person rushing to the eyebrow place, rushing to the clothes store, rushing to my place to take over the bathroom, rushing to pack then rushing to the studio. So much rushing!

I actually managed to get to the studio early so I sat in my suv and tried to relax. lol. Oh, and to top it all off once I got that text about the changing day/time for the shoot I stopped eating and drinking cause hello? I am fattest at the end of day cause of food and drink, and my teeth are slightly less white at the end of the day due to the tea I drink so yeah, I was rushing, stressed and under-fueled. lol. I didn’t feel hungry the entire time though cause of how rushed/stressed I was, so yah? lol.

The photo shoot went a-frickin-mazing! Sooooo much fun and the pictures came out great! The photographer did such an amazing job and so did the makeup lady. They made me so pretty! 🙂 I am taking the top 8 pics to work tomorrow to show peeps and put the top 14 on my facebook page so I can get feedback from friends and others in the acting community as to which is the best to use when agent hunting.

After the shoot was all over and I was leaving I realized I was really hungry, shocking huh? lol. I decided to treat myself and I ordered a personal sized beef taco pizza from Panago. I know that celebrating a great photo shoot by eating pizza isn’t the smartest thing to do but, I dunno, it’s habit I guess…and man, that pizza was gooooood! lol 😛

So Saturday was a much calmer day, lol, I slept in, met up with KL, we went for sushi, she went over the pictures that I printed from the shoot and helped me narrow the list down. To give some perspective for this, there were 178 picutes in total, I printed out 31 pictures, and now it’s narrowed down to 8…it’s hard to pick when there are so many choices but when going through the entire pile you kinda wish there were even more to pick from lol. Greedy huh?

I have no idea what kind of points I ate yesterday, what with the sushi, and then random things I ate after the sushi, shrug. I didn’t even try to count! Shocking!

Oh, and I didn’t weigh myself saturday cause that pizza I ate friday didn’t get eaten till almost 8:30pm so I figured it was still in my digestive track somewhere and I wouldn’t end up with a reliable weigh in number. I weighed myself today though and wOOt! The weight I gained after I got over being sick is now gone, and I lost a little bit extra, yah! I am now at 26.8lbs total lost. 😀 😀 😀 I’m kinda surprised cause of eating the pizza friday and then the sushi etc on saturday – I was kinda expecting to be the same or higher. Really, when I look back at the food I ate this week, it was a week full of little cheats that should have added up to disaster on the scale and yet, somehow, they didn’t…

However, I am not going to continue on the track of allowing myself little cheats everyday – this past week was some freakish anomoly that I am putting down to the stress I was feeling about the upcoming photo shoot but that is done and over and I ended up with great pics so now I must get myself back on track with my food. Can’t go screwing up all royal now can I? Nope! I can’t!

Today I ate my 20 points, no flex points for me! Sure, I didn’t eat all healthy stuff exactly – I mean, it’s the weekend, I slept in so I got to treat myself to a higher pointed first meal 😛 but I did eat lots of veggies and I had a salmon steak for dinner so I got myself some healthy protein…heck, I even got some calcium in there!

So the work week starts tomorrow, ugh, and so does my week of being strict with myself – it’s not that I won’t eat any flex points this week I just won’t use as many as last week and I will not eat something stupidly unhealthy just cause it is there (for example, that oh so yummy bbq pork bun I had last week, sigh…) This week will be all about balanced protein and veggies and healthy choices for every meal! Wonder how long that’ll last? lol. 😛

I’m Cravin Foooooood!

27 Jan

I am not hungry…hear that stomach? I’m not hungry! You don’t need anything else in you cause you’re full…so why oh why do I want to keep eating? All this week I just want more food…I want the food I take with me to work, I want the food that is provided free at work, I want the snacks and nibblies that are in the meetings, I just want foooood! I keep finding myself reaching for things that not only do I not need they are the absolute wrong food choices to make.

I am home, have eaten dinner and am full but I keep wanting to go in to the kitchen and get something to snack on…I have no points left and don’t need food but need seems to have nothing to do with my eating desires this week…this week it is all about what I want and that boys n girls is just not good! 

So far I have managed to not cave too much, I had a bit of cheese at a meeting yesterday but I did count it in my daily food diary – mind you it wasn’t measured out cheese and most likely wasn’t light cheese so the points were a guesstimate but I let myself get away with that cause the other food items on the platters that I wanted were the cinnamon buns…or one of the sandwiches…well, ok, there were a lot of amazingly good looking foods and I kinda wanted some of everything so I consider it a close call I got out of there after only eating cheese. lol. But see? This is what I am talking about! I got cocky about being able to resist bad for me foods and now I am having trouble resisting them, sigh.

Before Christmas I was all “whatev, I can resist all the yummy treats, it’s not a big deal” people kept commenting on my willpower and I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was cause it wasn’t hard to resist the food…then Christmas hit and I ate lots but before that could mess me up I got way sick and stopped eating (well, not completely cause then I’d be dead but I ate maybe once a day) so I lost weight from that and also, when I did eat I let myself eat whatever I wanted cause I was barely eating and needed higher calorie foods. Now, I am healthier, eating my points on a daily basis but haven’t gotten over the mindset of eating whatever I want which means I keep reaching for more food then what I need and higher pointed foods. Argh!

I have to reassess my goals I think…I keep thinking of the big final goal and that makes it too hard to focus on the day to day eating. I usually try to aim for the next 10lbs max, then, when I reach that 10lb goal I get a little treat and yah, it’s another 10lbs to add to the total weight loss number but I dunno, all I think about now is the final number I want to reach and how far away I am from it. That number is so far away that I figure I might as well eat the cheese at the meeting cause I’m so far away from my goal it won’t make a huge difference…I know that is stupid and wrong thinking but hey, it’s where I’m at right now. 

This behaviour and outlook are being influenced by my upcoming headshots for sure; don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to the photoshoot but I am stressing about how I am gonna look, if I’m gonna see the pics and only think “holy fuck, I’m still so fat!” I like how I look in real life and on film but I have a tendancy to look like an idiot in pictures, sigh, and I guess that’s all I keep thinking about, how fat I am gonna look and how stupid I look in pictures. *rolls eyes* In true me fashion I am sub-consciously self-sabatoging my weight loss efforts so that if my pictures look lame or I can’t get an agent with them I can blame my being fat and no one being willing to give me a chance cause of my fatness. Pathetic, sigh.

I am trying to remind myself about the photo shoot everytime I start to reach for something I shouldn’t be eating – my new short term goal is to survive until the photo shoot, just make it that far and then I can have a treat of some kind…like a cinnamon bun lol.

So my lesson today, and really for the week, is remember the little goals, the reachable ones and when you start reaching for the bad food search deep down in your psyche to find out why you can’t seem to resist the food…only once you learn what is making you eat will you be better able to defend yourself against all those food urges…now excuse me while I go and read a baking cook book and dream 😉

Can’t stop thinkin about it

25 Oct

So, I just can’t stop thinking about the 1.4 lbs I lost last week…I know it’s not the biggest amount to lose and since it’s around the amount I have come to expect to lose every week it’s not like it’s a massive big surprise but I just can’t stop thinking about it. lol. 🙂

I guess it might be because of feeling last week like I screwed up a lot so I was half expecting to not have lost anything…or if I lost something it would have been a way small amount…which I s’pose 1.4 is a small amount but hey, it could have been a lot lower!

I think mostly I can’t stop thinking about it because I am 0.8 lbs away from getting to go through my closet and try on all my clothes and see how they fit now. I can’t believe how much I am looking forward to that! I mean, hello, they are already my clothes, it’s not like I am going shopping or anything…but it’s almost like going shopping cause I don’t know what I will find in there. teehee.  I’m oh so close to that 15 lb mark; it feels like it is in reach and oh man do I want to reach it!

Something else awesome that happened is I got a connection through a friend to a photographer who is amazing and she will give me a discount on new headshots, wOOt! Now, for all those who don’t know, headshots can cost anywhere from $500-$800 depending on the photographer and what you want/need. This photographer will give me three looks, a disc with all the pictures taken on it and apparently she is way fun in the studio. 😀 I have seen some of her work and it is amazing, I can’t wait! Oh, and all this for only $200. 😀 I have been saving money in a piggy bank and I think I have enough to cover the costs but I gotta go count it. lol. I will count it after this coming Saturday after my nannying gig, I will bring in $120 from that nannying job so that’ll give the savings quite the boost. I will still have to pay for the make up person and that will be about $100 (that’s average cost so no surprise there) but before headshots can be done there are sooooo many other costs. sigh. I hafta get my hair trimmed, I need my eyebrows waxed (not like they are nasty looking now but they have to look professional) and drum roll please…I need to buy some clothes. Ack!

I wasn’t planning on buying any clothes until at least 20 lbs lost, I wanted to have a good chunk of weight gone before spending money on clothes but I may have to change that…depends what I find in my closet at the 15 lb mark! hehehe There is so much prep work to be done, I am sooooooo excited! For one thing, headshots are a total blast to have done, it’s a day all about you and you look fabulous cause you have professionals making you look awesome and keeping you that way. Who doesn’t love that?! 😀 Plus, it’s a total boost to self confidence cause dude, a whole stack of pics showing you at the best angles with the best lighting – that can’t do anything but make you feel good about yourself. 😀 The only part that can bring it down is the clothes, if you don’t have clothes that make you feel good about how you look and that look great on you, well, it’ll make you self conscious in front of the camera and that will show. So, I will have a mission…well fitting, bold solid colours, varying necklines, short sleeves – these are the kind of tops I will be looking for. I am hoping I will find enough pants in my closet that I won’t have to buy any of those…I hate pants shopping, well, I hate clothes shopping in general since I got fat but especially pants. ugh. For now though I am just gonna focus on next weekend where hopefully I will be trying on all the stuff in my closet – then I will focus on finding some tops. 😛

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K Vanilla Almond = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point 

1 small banana = 1 point

1 serving weight watchers soup = 0 points

1 bagel = 4 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 cup strawberries = 1 point

1/2 serving Pesto Linguine = 7 points

1 Jolly Time popcorn pckg = 1 point

1 Thinsations Oreo Cakesters = 2 points

Total points eaten 22. 🙂 I want to eat more but it’s not cause I am hungry, I am having that “I want to eat just for the sake of eating” thing happen again. I think it’s cause I am tired…I have been draggy and tired all day, and cold-brr!, and I think being tired and cold is making me instinctivly want to eat more. You know, like my body is trying to up it’s internal temp and rev up it’s energy and the way it knows how to do that is by getting more fuel in to it. Silly body though, apparently it doesn’t know it has gotten enough fuel for the day…or maybe it does know and that is why I don’t actually feel hungry. lol. Either way, no more food for me today! Nuh-uh. Instead, I am going to go turn on the space heater in my room, get my lunch for tomorrow ready and go to bed early, I will probably sit up and read a while but at least I will be burrowed under covers and (hopefully!) warm. lol. 🙂

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