Tag Archives: skinny

What’s Your Goal?

13 Mar

Everyone has a different goal, sure they can often times be lumped in to groups but each person’s goal is unique. In terms of weight loss the main groups I have been focused on lately are:

– get skinny

– get strong

The reason I am focused so much on these two groups is because for the loooongest time if you had asked me my goal it was “to get skinny”. That’s it, end of story. All I wanted, more than anything, was to be skinny. I’m decently tall for a girl (5’8″) and feel it is grossly unfair I am not also skinny, aren’t tall girls supposed to be skinny? *pout* All my Weight Watchers, low calorie, paleo (and more!) eating plans were followed because of the promise I would lose weight and I interpreted that as “I would get skinny”, after all, that’s what happens when you lose weight, right? All my hiking, treadmill running, HIIT training, weight lifting, squat challenges etc were all done for the same reason, to get me skinny.

Obviously that hasn’t happened.

Over the past couple months or so my goal has, hmm, I don’t want to say completely changed but…shifted I guess? Evolved. Altered. Broadened.

Now when I think of how I want to look it’s not just “skinny” it’s a combination of words: skinny, fit, obvious muscle definition, strong.

I want to be strong.

Not body builder strong, *shudder* but my body’s version of strong.

I say “my body’s” because I firmly believe not every body can achieve the same “look”. I heard this from a trainer years ago and I have to say, it makes sense to me. My body has a natural build, that I sadly, covered in excess squishy-ness but under all my squishy-ness there is a body type that I have to work with. I have hips, not just cause there is fat on them but because my skeletal frame gave me curvy hips, some women have super slim hips sometimes referred to as guy’s hips, no matter how much I diet, how much I work out, unless I get plastic surgery I will always have curvy hips. Just like the woman with the super slim hips will always have super slim hips.  You can’t change what your bones are doing. You have to just deal with what you have and work with it.

fat grapefruit

As I have come to terms with this I took a look around for inspiration, for women who have the physical look that I am trying to achieve. Whereas before I used to think of Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts or any number of runway models and obsess over how they are so skinny and I want to be soooo skinny but how the hell do I get to look like them?? Now I am thinking more along the lines of Michelle Rodriguez. She is slim, has muscle definition, nobody doubts she is strong (and not strong for a girl but simply strong), curvy, fit and feminine. The feminine part is important because I find the media forgets that women who are strong can also be girly.

Michelle Rodriguez - slim but with muscle

Michelle Rodriguez – slim but with muscles

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman – sooooo skinny

I realized that a lot of the fitness activities I partake in were never going to get me to “skinny”, because while yes they provided cardio and burned calories the activities I lean towards also involve working my muscles and that will automatically strengthen my muscles…which, if I am lucky, will give me some level of muscle definition. Actually, I know it will give me muscle definition cause last dragon boat season my shoulders and arms had actual definition that I lost during the off season and am oh-so-hoping to get back soon. Muscle memory how I am relying on you!

For a while I worried that I was focusing more on getting strong because I thought I was incapable of achieving skinny, I was looking at my change of perception, my change of goal as a failure. But now, I don’t think that is what this is about. It’s not just about my being realistic for what I can achieve either. It is what I want. I could cut my food intake drastically, do nothing but cardio and let my body eat away at itself until I am super skinny but then what? I won’t be able to dragon boat, I’ll be too weak to compete. I won’t be able to make it up the side of a mountain when I go hiking, I’ll have no stamina or strength to manage the trails. I won’t be able to enter things like the BMO run. I’d never finish the course. For all that I want to be skinny, I want to be strong more. I want to be able to enjoy the various activities I take part in. I want to be able to sign up for a new challenge and know I’ll be able to work hard towards completing it. I want to not just keep up with others but pass them by – hey, what can I say, I’m competitive! 😉

The happy side effect of this new goal, this goal of attaining strength, muscle definition and being fit is that it will automatically make me look slimmer. A pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat so if I can swap out my fat (obviously not all of it or I’d be dead lol) for muscle I’ll look slimmer, be stronger, get my muscle definition aaaaand manage to uncover the body that I hid underneath all this squishy-ness. And wouldn’t that just be fab? 🙂

sorry for the random girl in her underwear...

sorry for the random girl in her underwear…

sidenote: I didn’t put dragon boating in the list of activities I do to attain the goal of skinny because I dragon boat because of how much I love the sport…it just has the sweeeeeet side effect of being a fitness activity lol

Blackberries, Tattoos and Weight Loss

3 Jul

So it has been a busy couple days; yesterday I went shopping and came away with a Blackberry Bold and today after work I went shopping and came away with an inner wrist tattoo…ah the things we do to ourselves. When did we stop spending all our money on shoes? lol. The reason I am telling you this is because to look at my posts I am obsessed with Weight Watchers, you’d think my life revolved around it…sadly, it kinda does.

I was out tonight with a friend, KL, and we wanted to grab a bite to eat before going to a movie. KL wanted to hit up this nice looking sushi place and I had to go to Subway…that’s right, I said had. I pre-calculated my points so I knew what I would be tallying up if I ate the already chosen sub whereas if I went for sushi I’d be guessing and I know I would have eaten over my points. sigh. I sat with KL while she ate and it looked and smelled sooooo good but not one little bite went past my lips. While I am marginally happy about my apparently increasing willpower when it comes to food I am sad that I couldn’t partake in the sushi feast.

You are supposed to be able to eat anything you want on Weight Watchers but that’s a bit of  a lie, I couldn’t have eaten what I wanted at that sushi restaurant not without using a ridiculous amount of flex points. I  have gradually been cutting out of my life foods that don’t fall in to the points realm, Almond Roca (3 pieces = 6 points) – in my opinion not worth it so I have cut them out. I will miss them but I’d rather be skinny then eat Almond Roca. But sushi??? I have given up so many foods already and it looks like the list is just going to keep getting longer.

So now it is almost midnight, I am freakin tired and am I sleeping? Nope I am doing laundry and worrying about tomorrow because tomorrow is….dun dun dun…Weigh In Day *insert scary music here* Will I lose weight? Will I gain weight? Will I stay the same? Will the pants fit any differently, and if so a good or a bad different? I want to know but I am scared to find out; what if I have been doing all this work (and it is work!) and nothing has come of it? I know I have to be patient, I keep trying to remind myself of that, maybe this first week weigh in I won’t lose anything, maybe it will take longer to get results but I am a result oriented person and I need to see results to keep me motivated. Will I be able to keep going if the scale doesn’t show I have lost weight? I guess there is nothing to do about it until tomorrow when I weigh myself and see what my reaction is to whatever that damn digital screen tells me.

So here’s my food for the day:

1 bagel = 3 points

1 tbsp light cream cheese = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 Shrimp and Scallop Pasta Bowl from M&M Meath Shops = 6 points

2 triangles of Laughing Cow Light Cheese = 1 point

1/2 small Blenz Fruitchillo with yogurt = 4 points

6″ Subway Turkey sub on 9 grain whole wheat = 6 points

extra stuff on sub (cheese, light may, mustard) = 4 points

1 package popcorn = 1 point

That puts me at a total of…28

Aw shit, how’d that happen? Admittedly some of the points are estimated so maybe I didn’t do as badly as I calculated but maybe I did worse? And the day before weigh in day! Argh! The sub is 6 points, that’s taking the nutritional info from the Subway site but their info doesn’t include the light mayo, mustard and cheese I got put on so I had to guestimate how many extra points that is. And the Blenz drink, well, the Blenz website is not as helpful as I would like for nutritional info, sigh. All their calculations are based on the medium sized drink…I had a small and only drank half of that! I have no idea how many points that is so I took the 9 points the medium drink is and pared it back a bit. shrug. It’s the best I can do.

I also broke a cardinal rule, oh dear, never ever eat anything salty the last couple days before weigh in day cause you’ll retain water…and what did I do? I ate popcorn while sitting here typing, dammit! I needed a snack though and it seemed perfect, wasn’t till I was eating it I realized the mistake I was making. *rolls eyes* Maybe today I was trying to sabotage myself so that if I fail tomorrow on the scale I have built in excuses (oh, I probably did lose weight but I am retaining water from the popcorn so the scale doesn’t reflect it) Someone needs to smack me tomorrow if I write something like that down…that sounds like a joke but I mean it! I have a horrible habit of self sabotaging myself and to that I say No More!!!

Now, I am off to tend to the tattoo, hopefully the next time I type I will be a couple pounds lighter! 🙂