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Food Paranoia

14 Sep

So I thought I was over (well, kinda over) my having gained on the weekend until a convo at work where I got to hear about someone else and how they have lost 15 pounds in less time then I have been on weight watchers and blah blah blah. Lemme tell ya the Grrrs were sooo back! Then KB pointed out that the chicky that said she lost all that weight seems to be lying cause she always tell a different story. Phew. That made me feel way better. Well that and her clothes still fit all the same and mine are falling off. teehee 🙂

Isn’t it funny how people decide to lose weight and they immediately start lying about it? People are so weird. There are so many different lies! Some of my fave are: (1) I am never hungry, (2) I never cheat, (3) I love the new foods I am eating, (4) it’s so easy, I should have done this sooner! and (5) I have lost X amount of weight – but the amount lost is always rounded up…why round up? I always say how much I have lost to the first decimal point. I am proud of having lost some weight and I don’t feel the need to round up the amount I have lost…shrug…do you? I mean, if I said a couple weeks ago I had lost ten pounds cause I was almost at the ten pound mark then when I really (if  I ever! sigh) lose ten pounds I won’t be able to celebrate with people cause they will think I already hit that milestone…does that make sense? Maybe that’s just me…

Today I worked really hard on eating more then my daily points; I can’t believe I just wrote that! I have spent all this time learning to eat my 22 points a day – I didn’t want to eat over 22! I have been proud of myself for being able to teach myself to eat my daily points limit but today I threw that out the window and ate my exercise points…it’s causing me some stress. I don’t believe this whole ‘eat your exercise points and you’ll lose weight’  mantra- I know the math makes sense (to others) but my thinking towards food is not logical and is ingrained deeply in to my psyche and going against it is really freakin hard. In my head the less I eat the better so eating 22 points a day is hard because lots of days I don’t want to eat that much; I finally got my head around eating the 22 points and now I have to eat more???

I don’t know how I managed it but I ate my exercise points today, sigh, I noticed though that as soon as I was in to my exercise points I wanted to totally binge. My body seemed to think that since I was eating more then 22 points I could just go on an eating frenzy and it wanted everything! Even now, when I am not hungry and should be perfectly satisfied with my food for today I want more…more, more, more, more, more! Oh, and nothing I want is remotely healthy. lol. I almost ate a chocolate candy that I have, it’s 1 point and even though I had eaten all my exercise points I almost grabbed the candy because my mentality switched from “you have 22 points, eat only those and be strong” to “meh, you’re eating over your points anyways, what’s one more measly point?” This is sooooo Not good! The points were rigid in my head as the line to not cross, now they are flexible and can be moved and I don’t like that, as much as I hate rules for my food I need rules, otherwise I will screw this up.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fiber 1 = 3 points

1 1/2 cup 1% milk = 1.5 points

1 banana = 2 points

50 grams artificial crab = 1 point

1 cup Maple Baked Beans = 4 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

2 triangles Light Laughing Cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup blackberries = 1 point

1 kiwi = 1 point

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp marg for the corn = 1 point

1 hamburger patty = 4 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 weight watchers banana nut muffin = 3 points

Exercise points earned = 5 points

Total points eaten 27.5 points – that is 22 daily points, 5 exercise points, 0.5 flex point.

I am embarassed to write that, it seems so wrong to have eaten so much. sigh.  I don’t know if eating my exercise and flex points will get easier or if it will always be this much of a struggle, guess I’ll just have to see how it goes. The one thing I do know is if I don’t have a smaller number on that scale this weekend this whole eating the exercise and flex points thing is going to be under serious threat of ending!

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Bad Tartar Sauce, Bad!

13 Sep

You know you have had a condiment for too long when it expired in 2009…that wouldn’t be so bad except I didn’t read the expiry date so I measured out my tartar sauce, spread it on my fish dinner and oh man was it bad. So so bad! Luckily I tasted a little bit on my finger and realized which made me immediatly start scraping it off my fish, lol, and put ketchup on instead. I think I got enough of it off cause it’s been an hour or so and no sickly tummy yet! I think I will just stick with ketchup from now on, it is way less points and hello? Ketchup, yum! 😀

I decided I had to find something good weight/body/self-image wise from the weekend to help balance out the negativity from yesterday – here is what I got…a friend I hadn’t seen in 6 months or so is in the city visiting and we got together for coffee, I had tea. I was wearing a warm hoodie and jeans, nothing all that special, and we sat around talking for a couple hours. When we were done we walked through the mall together till we got to the door I needed to get to my car, we hugged bye and he started feeling up my upper back (get your minds out of the gutter!), he was all “holy crap, you’ve lost a bunch of weight!” – I just kinda shook it off cause I was all depressed about my weight gain on the scale that morning but looking back I should be grateful. Someone who hasn’t seen me in a while didn’t see a difference in my weight but he did notice when hugging me, and that’s kinda cool. 🙂 He wouldn’t have been able to tell from looking anyways cause of the sweater so I am not ticked he couldn’t visually see a difference. Oh, and he whistled at my butt! lol. That was more of a joke but I will take what I can get right now. lol. See, that’s what happens when you have crappy self-esteem, you take what you can get and aren’t picky about it cause you don’t expect to get anything better then that. lol. 😛

So there we go, I am still pissed about the weight gain but I found a positive for the weekend too – balancing things out, ya know?

I had three comments on my ranting post from yesterday and all of them said eating more points is a good thing and will help me lose weight. sigh. I have trouble eating my 22 points a day so I don’t know how I am s’posed to eat even more food, oh dear. The comment showing the math really helped it all make sense, how I am eating 1100 calories a day and if I exercise and earn 4 exercise points and don’t eat them that means I am actually only eating like 700 calories that day and even I know that isn’t good!  I am not eating over my points today, I just can’t do it! It’s already 9:20pm-ish and I am soooo full but tomorrow I will try really really hard to eat some of my exercise points. I think I will take a bigger lunch…that might help…if I can manage to eat it all that is. lol. I have started to eat Fibre 1 cereal which is one point higher from the other cereals I usually eat so that’s good; I will just have to keep looking for healthy foods I can eat that are a tad higher in points. This seems twisted since I have spent all this time finding low point foods to eat but hey, I’ll see what I can do!

Today I ate:

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 Prawn Salad Wrap = 3 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup raspberries = 1 point

1 piece frozen battered fish = 4 points

85 grams yam fries = 3 points

grilled veggies = 0 points

1 thinsations Oreo Cakesters pckg = 2 points

That puts me at 22 points for the day which I used to think was perfect but now I think means I am not eating enough…talk about needing to re-program what I had just finished programming. Oy!

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Are you freakin kidding me?!?!?! Arghh!!

12 Sep

I am so pissed off right now, GRRRRRR!!!!!!! I was even madder earlier but decided a post full of swears and threats from me to me would not be entertaining to read so I waited till now, when I am marginally calmer…still grrr-ing tho, grr! 😛

Why am I mad you wonder? Well, let me just spit it out…I gained weight! Gained? GAINED!!!!!!! Arrggghhhh! After not cheating all week and adding in exercise what did I do? I gained, that’s right, my plateau is at week frickin four, 4!!!! This sucks. 😦

It’s enough to make a girl wanna quit and man am I tempted but I don’t have a back up plan, it’s not like I decided if Weight Watchers fails me I will go to Jenny Craig or Herbal Magic or some other program…this is it, all I got and doesn’t that leave me screwed? sigh.

Mom thinks I should eat more, she says now that I am exercising I have to eat more of my exercise points and some of my flex points cause my body is freakin out thinking it’s not gonna get enough food now that it is more active…I am not certain I believe this. I might give it some credibility except I have been plateaued for so long, no way am I putting even more food in to me when all my body is doing is staying the same or gaining, screw that!

I am not sure what I am going to do…I can’t quit the program cause if I do I will just go back to eating how I used to which means all the pounds I did manage to lose will just jump back on to my body but following the program doesn’t seem to be doing me any good these past four weeks…four weeks! That’s ridiculous! I am never gonna get thin at this rate, sigh.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 tbls raspberry jam = 1 point

1 timbit = 2 points

1/2 Fiesta Salad = 2.5 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp marg for the corn = 1 point

2 Hershey Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1 cup 1% milk = 2 points

1 pckg weight watchers Cheddar Twists = 2 points

So there we are, at my 22 points for the day not that it seems to be doing me any good. blarg. I also originally had a cup of soup with the salad and corn for dinner but it was so gross I only had like 3 spoonfuls of it and had to throw it out, ugh. It was Campbell’s Smoky Bacon Clam Chowder soup, I had never seen that flavour before and thought it sounded kinda good…man was I wrong! I really like soup and thought I would try it now in preperation for winter when thick creamy soups are a nice thing to have on a chilly evening but that is one soup that didn’t make the list. Ah well, gotta try new things to find out if you will like them or not. shrug.

Oh, and it seems all this time I was miscalculating the points for the Fiesta salad, oops! The nutritional info says the salad is 2 points for 100 grams and there are 4 servings in the bag, I thought this meant there are 400 grams in the bag at 2 points per serving, my math calculated the entire bag to 8 points and half a bag at 4 points…the math made sense to me. Well, I took a closer look at the bag and there is only like 326 grams in the bag…so 3 and a bit servings…hmm, who decided to do that? Eesh.  This means the entire bag isn’t even 6.5 points, it’s 6 and some random small number of points…uh, crap! How am I gonna calculate that? I have decided to  calculate the entire bag at 6 points and half a bag as 3 points…I figure guesstimating down is ok cause I don’t use all the toppings that come in the bag. There are two dressings provided and I only use one so that’s gotta take some points away, right?

So there we have it, I am still plateaued, no, not even plateaued since that implies I am staying the same, instead I am getting fatter…just frickin great! Some shrinking woman I am! Hopefully tomorrow I am over being so pissed off and my next post is not quite such a downer but for now, this is all I got…sigh…

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A Non-Weigh In Day

11 Sep

I was s’posed to weigh in today…it is saturday after all but I didn’t do it. This may not seem fair to you, my readers, since why read my blog and suffer through my mid-week posts and then not get the payoff on saturday when you are s’posed to find out if I went up, down or stayed the same but I have a reason! Two actually…

Reason One: I, like I have done for the past however many weeks now went out friday night and ate much later then normal. I didn’t eat anything too heavy this time around, we went to Brown’s Social House and I got a great fish dish, yum!, but still, bigger dinner then normal and eating later at night then normal skews weigh in day. sigh. I don’t know why I keep doing that, well, except that I have a social life and don’t want to put it completely on hold while losing weight…cause where is the healthy life balance in that?

Reason Two: I am a girl, and like all girls once a month for a couple days I am bloated and crampy and miserable and for me that is today, sigh. Sometimes being a girl can suck! It’s days like this I wish I was a boy…then I think of all those years during puberty where guys are paranoid whenever out in public that they are gonna cop a tent and I am grateful I am a girl. lol. 😀 Since I am all bloated today I know I will weigh more and so I ain’t steppin on that mean ol scale. Grr scale.

I am gonna get on it tomorrow and see what it says and I am a tad scared since it’s been very unfriendly to me these past 3 weeks or so, double sigh. It’s really hard to keep with the program when the scale is not showing the results I was led to expect…hopefully tomorrow isn’t so bad…

I had two swordfighting classes this past week and last weekend I went for a hike so that makes three times in one week I exercised. 🙂 I know I meant to exercise 4 times but it just didn’t happen, shrug, I ended up working late a lot of days and today I wasn’t feeling well so that fourth exercise session never got fit in…maybe I will do better next week. I am already trying to find something to do when swordfighting is done – there is a community centre kinda near me that has a variety of yoga and pilates classes that I am looking in to, the class times don’t look like I will be able to fit them in to my schedule and a lot of the classes are only once a week and I’d prefer something that’s twice a week so I think I will have to keep looking. If anyone has any suggestions for exercise activities to look in to I’d appreciate hearing them…

So for today I spent most of the day doing nothing, lol, I slept in, read a book in bed, had a nap, watched some tv…that about sums up the day. 😛 Pretty awesome, no? I love weekends. 🙂 I was s’posed to do errands and originally thought I’d go for a hike but none of that happened. Ah well, I firmly believe everyone should have one day a week where they do nothing, normally mine is sunday but there’s nothing wrong with it being saturday. I will be out and about tomorrow so I probably won’t have time for a hike but maybe I will fit in a walk or something…we shall see!

Today I ate:

1 whole wheat tortilla = 2 points

1 scrambled egg = 2 points

tomato, orange pepper, onion mixed with egg = 0 point

1 light babybell cheese = 1 point

7 sweet pickles = 1 point

2 Hershey Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1/2 cup Ben n Jerry’s We Are Waffling Ice Cream = 7 points

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

21 grams Breton Minis = 2 points

Puts me at my daily limit of 22 points. 🙂 It was an odd food day, I didn’t eat anything till around 5pm which is late even for me! After I ate my wrap I realized I was gonna have to eat high point foods the rest of the day or not reach my 22 points – hence the Ben n Jerry ice cream. 😛 I have had that ice cream since 2 days before I started Weight Watchers – you’re probably thinking that’s weird I know how long I have had it but let me explain. I had a bad day at work and stopped at safeway on my way home with the specific intent of getting a really bad for me meal cause I was gonna pig out, I got macaroni and cheese from the deli and some onion rings then I went and got the ice cream, after that I stopped at a liquor store and got something to drink, came home got in to comfy clothes and dived on in!

That is what I used to do when dealing with crappy days. I don’t even remember what made that day so bad…hmmm…ah well, whatever it was I used food therapy to deal with it. That was a friday night, the rest of the weekend wasn’t quite so bad with the food but it wasn’t great then for some reason sunday I randomly decided to start Weight Watchers monday. shrug. That is the beginning of this journey, is it odd I started my “lifestyle change” on a whim? Nah, it’s just my style! lol

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When are you fattest?

9 Sep

Weird question right? It is, I know it, but think about it for a minute. When do you feel fattest? Look fattest? I don’t mean when during a week or month – I mean within 1 day. Do you feel better about yourself in the morning, afternoon or night? Does how you feel depend on what you eat that day, or drink? If you exercised or not?

There are a lot of things that can affect how you feel and how your body looks at different times of day and in my opinion that just sucks. 😛

I always look and feel thinner in the morning – I think it’s because  (1) I’ve been sleeping for however many hours and my body has had a chance to do it’s thing without me stuffing food in to it (2) the body re-generates at night so it feels better (3) you shrink during the day and regain that height while sleeping so even though it’s only a small height change it can change how you look – at least a bit and (4) well, I don’t have a 4 lol, but 3 is pretty good. 🙂 Most of my list is a combo of facts from medical science and my impressions of how my body actually works. I have a firm belief that while all those experts out there think they know how everything works when it comes to peoples’ bodies they shouldn’t generalize their rules for everyone cause ya know what, those rules don’t work for everybody!

Oh yeah, I said it, the rules we all try to remember and live by when losing weight don’t always apply! Take milk for instance, it produces acid and irritates most stomach conditions – I have lots of stomach problems but milk always helps my stomach instead of making it feel worse…this goes against the rules. tsk tsk stomach! lol What about ‘exercising gives you more energy and makes you feel better cause of the endorphines’, well, ha-bloody-ha! Days I exercise all I want to do is have a nap or at least get to bed way earlier then normal, I never have more energy, and I am thinking my endorphines are broken cause they never kick in and make me feel better. lol. These are observations I have made over the years, when I actually pay attention to my body.

I think the most important thing is to always pay attention to your body, listen to what it is telling you before you blindly follow what some “expert” says, after all, that expert isn’t living in your body, doesn’t know how it feels and even if you were to tell them words can only really express so much, your words may not properly convey what your body is experiencing and then you’re really gonna be in a bind. Hmm, long ranting sentence there…sorry!

Since starting my “healthy lifestyle” I have tried changing a lot of different habits, I worked on them one at a time to give me a better shot of keeping the new habits but some of these things I am trying to do just aren’t working out so well. The main one is my liquid intake, all the “rules” say drink 8 glasses of liquid per day…everyone knows this rule, it’s so commonly spouted that as soon as someone says they want to lose weight they will be reminded by friends to ‘drink their 8 glasses of water’. I increased my fluid intake over a span of days and even now I still find it easy to forget and not drink the amount I am s’posed to. Couple weeks ago I realized that every night my stomach is more rotound (trying to find a nice way to say it. lol), basically, I was fatter at night. I felt more bloated, was physically rounder and wasn’t feeling great – not that I was feeling sick, I just wan’t feeling up to par, ya know? I struggled with this, didn’t want to blog about it because I thought it meant I was failing, I seemed to be getting fatter instead of thinner and could find no good reason for it. Eventually it came to me, I was retaining way more water then what my body needed and it was settling in my abdomenal area, ugh. I started cutting back a bit on the fluids and bam! back to being, well, not thin at night, but closer to looking like what I look like during the day. 🙂 I think I will always look fatter at night, it’s how my body is, once I get home and I know I can relax cause no one can see me (the roomie doesn’t count, sorry R!) I slouch and my tummy sticks out farther and I become totally comfie. Maybe if I tried keeping my posture and sucking in my gut when I wash up at night and see myself in the mirror I won’t look larger but I think I’d rather have my couple hours where I am totally relaxed and look a bit bigger then be sucking it in all my waking hours and looking that tiny bit thinner. Or is that just crazy? shrug.

I am not saying all the rules are wrong; I just think you should try them out and see what works for your body and what hinders. Eventually you will find a combo that makes you look and feel better. 😀 I am slowly finding my combo, I think it’ll take a while longer to get it down pact but that’s ok, that’s why they call it a “lifestyle change”, cause it takes your whole life to figure it out. lol.

Today I ate:

3/4 cup Almond Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 Shrimp and Scallop Pasta Bowl = 6 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

2 triangles Light Laughing Cow cheese = 1 point

2 hot dog weiners = 2 points

2 pieces bread = 2 points

2 cheese slices = 2 points

1 pckg Green Giant Essentials Omega 3 = 2 points

2 Hershey’s Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

Exercise Points Earned = 5

I ate 23 points but since I earned 5 exercise points I didn’t go over my food points in a bad way so it’s all good today! 😀

yum yum veggies

You may have noticed a new food in my list,  it is Green Giant Essentials, a new line of steamed veggies our fave giant has put on the market. They were on sale so I bought some, of course! lol. The first I tried was the Omega-3 it has carrots, cut green beans, zucchini, sugar snap peas and flax seeds with extra virgin olive oil and rosemary and it contains 0.1 g of Omega-6 and 0.5 g of Omega-3 per serving. I did not pick this one because of it’s omega stuff, omega shmega, I bought it cause I liked the list of veggies in it and the entire box is only 2 points! 🙂 I probaly should have just eaten half the box (100 grams) but I was hungry and I figured it was better to eat 1 more point of veggies then 1 more point of chocolate. lol. It was really tasty, and dead easy to make! Pop it in the microwave for 4 mins 30 secs then pour it into a bowl, stir, and there’s your vegg. You can also make it stove top if you don’t want to use your microwave…just sayin. shrug. I would definitly recommend these, be careful though, not all flavours are the same amount of points so check before you assume you know how many points it’s gonna cost ya. Oh, and the flax seed, not so bad…it’s the first time I have tried them and I learned they don’t really have a flavour, shrug, added an odd texture to the veggies but not a bad texture…just different. I think I may look in to sprinkling flax seed on other food items…after all, the “experts” do recommend it! 😛

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Pocky! Pocky! Pocky!

8 Sep

strawberry and chocolate

Ya gotta love Pocky…for those of you who don’t know what that is…that’s so sad. 😦 teehee

Pocky is this wonderous little treat that is imported from Japan and on the box is described as “biscuit sticks strawberry cream coated” – ok, so the grammer isn’t great but the coated biscuit sticks are! 🙂 They come in chocolate or strawberry and from the looks of all the images that came up when I googled to get pics for this post there are many other flavours (that sadly are not offered here, *big dramatic sigh* lol)

The reason I bring Pocky up is because I got to eat some today; haven’t had them in quite a while. Somehow I ended up with 7 points left over at the end of the day – this is after dinner an everything! Who in the world has that many points left at the end of the day? I should have only had 3 points or so, just enough for a snack. shrug. Small lunch and not as much fruit during the day and this is what happens. lol. I was uber hungry by the end of the day but by the time I got home I wasn’t really wanting food anymore. You know when that happens? How you wait so long to eat you don’t want to eat anymore? I hate when that happens.

squeeeezable pizza sauce

I decided to make that tortilla pizza again but with minor adjustments, for starters I used real pizza sauce this time. The brand is Primo, and I am not kidding you it is called Pizza Squeeze Sauce – original name huh? There are three different flavours, least at my grocery store, Traditional, Garlic and Hot n Spicy. I bought traditional cause I am boring like that. lol. It’s only 1 point for 1/4 cup which is a lot of sauce when you’re spreading it on a tortilla. Then I put a sliced up Light Babybell on top, some orange pepper, onion, sliced mushroom and grilled chicken. When it was pretty much done in the oven I put a cheese slice on top (torn in to little pieces), I should have just put another babybell on the stupid thing but I didn’t, shrug. It was good, way more filling then the last one I made – probably cause of all the veggies I put on it…and since that was the point of all the veggies I am glad it worked. lol.

So my food today was:

2 weetabix = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 nectarine = 1 point

1 cup Tomato and Pepper soup = 2 points

salad = o points

1/4 cup chick peas = 1 point

mixed veggies = 0 points

2 triangles Light Laughing Cow = 1 point

50 grams grilled chicken = 1 point

1 whole wheat tortilla = 2 points

1 Light Babybell = 1 point

1/4 cup Primo Pizza Sauce = 1 point

1 cheese slice = 1 point

sliced mushroom, pepper, onion = 0 points

1 pckg strawberry Pocky = 5 points

This puts me at 20 used points. 🙂 Only two left for the day and hunger pains have a started so I am sure I will find something to snack on easy peasy. So now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go work on my stance for swordfighting class tomorrow…or at least do some stretching or something cause holy crap do my muscles hurt from yesterday! This getting in shape thing is gonna be the death of me! lol

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En Garde!

7 Sep

This past saturday I decided I needed to add exercise to my routine because I am plateauing and that just ain’t cool. The problem with exercising (well, one of many!) is finding something interesting and fun that keeps you at a decently active level – and above all, it must be affordable! Well…I found a great activity. 😀

Swordfighting! Yeah, you heard me. lol. 😛 Way way way back a friend of mine was part of organizing a silent auction, she got companies to donate various things for people to bid on. One of the things she got was a swordfighting package, it is 8 classes, tuesday and thursdays from 5p-6:30p and it started today. I have had this gift certificate for ages but the session starts on the first Saturday, Monday and Tuesday of every month and I always seemed to remember about the gift certificate right after all those days pass. I am brilliant like that! lol. Anyway, I somehow managed to remember this month so I signed up and started tonight after work.

this is a rapier sword 🙂

Since it’s the first class it started off pretty simple, learning the proper way to hold the rapier, how to respect the sword and blah blah blah. lol.  I make it out to be boring but it wasn’t, we learned a brief history of this particular sword and some of the basic rules. Then came the really fun part – using the sword! wahahahahaha. 😀 We lunged, thrusted (and doesn’t that just sound dirty teehee), retreated…all kinds of moves. I think I will for sure have to practice before class thursday cause there are so many specific ways to move and thrust (there’s that word again :P).

I will be learning other swords too, I guess there are specifc ways to handle all the different kinds? I think I am learning 3 different ones…but don’t quote me on that!

I wasn’t sure what kind of exercise it would be, ya know, if it’d be worth any decent calories burnt but it got me sweaty so yah! and ick! I counted it as moderate intensity since it started off a little slow then built to fairly moderate for most of the class then ended with stretches…which, fyi, have done little for me cause oh man do my muscles hurt! Not even the ones I was expecting either!

I thought for sure my arms will be hurting cause, duh, holding a sword up for a long time and I have little to no upper body strength but also my legs, butt, lower back and abs…oh, and calves. They are all feeling the burn, wowza. Who’d of thunk it? I probably should stretch some more but I don’t really feel like it right now and I know I will regret that tomorrow but oh well, can’t worry about tomorrow until it is today. 🙂

So here is what I ate today:

2 weetabix = 2 points

1 peach = 1 point

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 cup Tomato and Red Pepper soup = 2 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 piece of toast = 1 point

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup blackberries = 1 point

1 Eating Right hamburger patty = 4 points

85 grams Alexia Yam Fries = 3 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

2 Hershey’s Oh Henry Cookies = 3 points

So, I am sitting at 20 points and I definitly have to find something to eat to use those last two points since I earned 5 exercise points. Yah! 😀

You should have seen me making dinner, lol, I was hungry cause I didn’t get to eat till almost 8pm so I was making a mess in the kitchen trying to come up with something that would be high in points since up to that point I had only used 8 points, yeah that’s right, 8 points! I have no idea how I managed that, eesh. I was going to do pasta cause what’s higher in points in my kitchen then that right now but I knew I needed some protein since all I had had up to that point was a tiny bit in the cheese I had a lunch, lame! (and wow, I just used the word “point” a lot!) So burger it was…it’s not really the same without the bun but hey, these are the sacrifices that get made along the way. lol 😛 The yam fries were really good though even if I did burn them a tad. Oops!

Hopefully going to these swordfighting classes will help start me on a active path…I’ll hafta wait and see I guess. I was going to exercise every two days but for the duration of the classes I will exercise every tues and thurs (duh) and 2 more times somewhere in the week…seems fair don’t ya think? I mean, I don’t want to over do it when I am just starting so none of this everyday crap but 4 times a week seems a fair sacrifice. I would do only 3 times a week since I always hear that as a minimum amount to exercise every week but who wants to do just the minimun? Not me! What’s the point in that?

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Land Mines in the Grocery Store

6 Sep

I finally got off my butt and went grocery shopping for the week, normally I go on saturdays so waiting till monday evening seems like a really long wait. lol. I had a really lazy long weekend (as anyone who read my last couple posts knows lol) and it seemed to take all my energy to get there and work my way around the aisles.

Since starting my “healthy lifestyle” I have had to start shopping in areas of the store I usually avoided and now have to avoid most of the aisles I usually took my cart down. sigh. It’s quite the change.

I gotta say, I really miss the bakery section, Safeway has croissants that have been turned in to donuts and have chocolate drizzled on the top…o.m.g. …soooooooo good! Probably all my daily points tho so I just don’t go near them, I am not so sure of my willpower when it comes to something like that. 😛 And why oh why do ice cream and frozen veggies share the same aisle? That is just tortuous cause now I am down that aisle for the vegg and not the ice cream…I never thought that would happen! lol. I noticed today that random things I can no longer buy seemed to be everywhere, everywhere! I was looking at soup and came across Ichiban (which I love but can’t have anymore, sigh) and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese was in the same aisle as…hmm, I can’t remember anymore but it was in an aisle where I was getting something healthier and man did I want to get the KD. Also, I was looking for something I had a coupon for and ended up in the cheese aisle…cheese!! I miss cheese. I was never a huge cheese eater, I know some people who eat it everyday, but I do at times like to have cheese n crackers with some tomato soup or as a snack or somethin. Since I was in the cheese area I took a look and found this one from Cracker Barrel that is pre-sliced to fit perfectly on to a cracker, awesome! I can’t remember how many points it was but I did calculate it at the store and it was quite a lot for just 3 pieces, and I’m sorry but who eats just three tiny slices of cheese? Nobody! I decided to not buy it because it would either (1) take so long for me to eat it would go bad and it’d be a waste of my money or (2) I’d end up eating too much of it at one time and it’d wreck my points for that day. It seemed easier to just not buy it, sigh.

Also, my cart is usually filled with a high ratio of fruit to all my other stuff but fruit season is at an end and almost everything looked bad. ugh. The strawberries were all smooshed and the grapefruit were all really soft…nothing else was looking all that great either. I did escape with a small container of raspberries and a small container of blackberries (they were on a mix n match sale) but that’ll probably be my last of the season, sad. 😦 I think I will have to start looking at canned fruit. I know some is canned in syrup so that’s a no-no but some is packed in um, non syrup, lol, and that might not be so bad. I will have to find something because fruit makes up a huge part of my diet now. I could use frozen fruit on my cereal in the mornings…that should be ok, right?

Oh! Speaking of cereal I tried All Bran Flakes today for breakfast, I only managed one spoonful they were that gross! Cardboard! Total cardboard taste and smell! Never again! So I swapped out that cereal for my normal Special K Blueberry which I am not all that fond of either but least it’s not bran flakes. teehee.

So today I ate:

3/4 cup Blueberry Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 tblsp raspberry jam = 1 point

2 prawn salad wraps = 6 points

1 whole wheat tortilla = 2 points

1 tblsp Nutella = 2 points

1 tblsp Light Peanut Butter = 2 points

1 cup 1% milk = 2 points

Total points used today is 22. I did absolutely nothing that could be called exercise today so no exercise points for me but that’s ok cause I ate only my normal daily points. 🙂 I didn’t think I’d manage to eat all my points cause I was up late and didn’t have as much time to eat as normal so I am happy I reached my points – I am also happy I got my peanut butter and nutella wrap with the full amounts of pb and nutella instead of the 1/2 tblsp of each I usually end up with. It was Yummy! 😀

The grocery is filled with land mines that are the foods I used to eat and really like. I know I need to not eat them and I am usually able to look at them and pass right on by without feeling too tempted to look over my shoulder at them as they fade in to the distance but just when I think I am strong I notice something (this week was Ichiban) and I have to really struggle to not buy it. Only by sheer force of will did I manage to leave it in the store, eesh, I sure hope if it’s a low will power day next time that happens I’ll still be able to resist!

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Self Punishment aka Exercise

6 Sep

Sooooo, yesterday I weighed in and gained 0.2 pounds, ugh, when I got up today I decided to re-weigh myself (I know, it goes against my rule about only weighing in once a week but I was curious as to what the scale would say) so the scale showed I had lost. hmmm. Which result to take? I decided to take todays number, cause, well, duh, it’s lower. lol. That puts me at a total weight loss of 9.8 pounds…still haven’t reached that 10 pound mark but at least I am closer…I want to be able to say I lost 10 pounds dammit!!

I decided instead of waiting one more week to see how my next weigh in is and therefore having 4 weeks of proof I have plateaud I am taking action now! Why wait another week when I can do something now? My course of action is exercise…I am already watching what I eat so I can’t really adjust that, means the only other thing I know that I can change is my activity level. sigh. I like my activity level! I like being lazy and spending most of my time sitting with a book or watching tv or being on my computer…some people just prefer being sedentary. Active people don’t seem to get this. They think that because I am sitting on my couch I am unhappy or unmotivated or depressed or something – they don’t get that I like being this way, this is how I am! Sadly though, in my quest to become skinny I am going to have to change and become a more active person. I won’t ever become that person who wants and enjoys getting up early to go running before work or that person who gets some sick pleasure out of pumping weights but I think I can manage to become a person who finds time in her schedule to fit in exercise and sticks with it. After all, if I can manage to change my eating habits maybe I can manage to change my activity level?

What I want to know is who came up with exercising anyways? Who thought people should plunk themselves on to cardio machines thereby sweating their way over long distances but not ever going anywhere? Who thought hiking a path that is just going to get you back to where you started was a good thing? Have you noticed how exercise seems all about completing a circle of some kind? An eternal loop that tricks you in to thinking you are going somewhere or doing something when really all you are doing is running in the same spot? We are all hamsters in a wheel…depressing.

My form of self-punishment today was a 3.8 km hike; this would be the hike I mentioned in yesterdays post. It is a hiking trail that is labelled medium to strenuous and goes around a golf course. There are multiple paths in to it so you can start anywhere – this is good because that means there are also multiple exits so if you really want to escape the human version of the hamster wheel you can, course, you’re still gonna be stuck outside and away from home so getting off the wheel doesn’t get you anywhere but on a sidewalk by a busy street so strangers driving by can look at you and wonder what the hell you’re doing but hey, least your off that beaten path!

The first half of the hike was fine, I pushed myself so I was really earning my exercise points but hey that’s the point, right? The second half…well to be honest I was wishing for death. My chest and throat hurt from breathing so hard, I had side cramps that were not only on my sides but my front as well so my entire abdomenal area hurt and at one point I felt like throwing up my breakfast. Pleasant, no? God I hate exercising. By the time I got home I was sweaty (ew!) tired and ready for a nap but instead of napping I became my own drill sergeant and did some streches in the hopes I don’t tighten up overnight and wake up tomorrow barely able to walk. Have I mentioned I hate exercising?

The only plus side to this whole exercise thing is you earn points, the same way your food is worth points in weight watchers so is your exercise. I earned 8 exercise points, wOOt! You have options with these points. You can eat them or not eat them, up to you. I figured I would not eat them cause then I would lose weight faster but mom (who actually goes to the weight watcher meetings) says the people there tell you to eat the exercise points because if you don’t you are not taking in enough calories for your activity level that day. Hmmm. I don’t know, I am not sure I totally agree with that. So I am compromising, I am eating some of my exercise points but nowhere near all, heck, not even half of them…today I ate 2.5 of them. 🙂

Today I ate:

3/4 cup blueberry special k = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

2 pcs toast =2 points

1 tsp marg = 1 point

1/2 tbls raspberry jam = 0.5 point

2/6 Delissio Grilled Chicken, tomato and spinach pizza = 10 points

1 medium slush = 2 points

37 grams Maltesers = 4 points

1 thinsations choc covered pretzels = 2 points

A grand total of 24.5 points with 8 exercise points earned. 😀 Not so bad for a Sunday.

I feel I should explain about the pizza, I bought it last week cause it was on sale and I thought 1/6th of the pizza for 5 points wasn’t such a bad thing…I should not food shop when I am hungry, it ruins my reasonability. lol. The only days I will be able to eat this pizza is on weekends cause that’s the only way I will be able to find a way to fit in the points. I cut the pizza in half and put half back in the freezer. The other half I baked, duh. The pizza is roughly a square and I needed to divide it in to sixths. Does that make sense? So with the half I had I cut it in to three pieces and at two of them, hence my 2/6 of a pizza serving. 🙂 Hey, it makes sense to me. 😛 I gave the third cooked piece to my roomie thereby saving me the dilemna of eating the cold piece tomorrow for breakfast cause hey, who doesn’t love cold pizza? The other half I will eat maybe next weekend so I can get it out of the fridge before it freezer burns, we shall see! It was pretty good. I bit in to my first piece too quickly and burned the roof of my mouth but that’s my problem, not the pizzas. I would not say it is the same as delivery (you know, that’s the slogan for delissio, “not delivery, it’s delissio”) but it was decent for a frozen pizza.

All in all, eating pizza and chocolate all in one day seemed to make the pain of exercising not worth it but a bit more bareable. But don’t get thinking I like it! 😛 lol

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TV Coma

4 Sep

I love long weekends, who doesn’t? I usually try to do something at least mildly productive during them since I have three wonderful days off work instead of just two but so far I have done nothing but mimic a sloth – I must say, my sloth abilities are deserving of top marks. 😛

Today I slept in, ate, then sat on the couch and proceeded to watch whatever was on…I caught some tv show episodes and also watched a couple movies I hadn’t gotten around to seeing yet. But now, approximately 8 hours after turning the tv on I am realizing my brain has stopped functioning and is in a partial coma…hmmm…

I have been so lazy today that it took me until after 11pm to turn on my laptop – because it just seemed like to much work! Too much work? It has been sitting within arms reach of me all day…but it was going to take too much effort to reach over, flip open the lid and press that power button…I can’t remember a time I have been so lazy (unless I am sick but that doesn’t count! lol). I figure before I go crawling off to bed to continue with my all day sleep fest I should do something mildly purposeful  – hence my post. 🙂

I had weigh in day today, I’d say I don’t want to talk about it but duh! this blog is all about the weight I am trying to lose so it seems only fair to keep you in the loop. This week was an epic fail, sigh. I want to lie and say I maintained but I didn’t…I gained 0.2 pounds…:( I am hanging my head in shame and sitting in a corner due to this failure. double sigh. Well, ok, I should be sitting in a corner with my head hanging but instead I lay on my couch all day attempting to fry brain cells in the hopes of forgetting what a screw up I am with my weight loss.

I can’t believe it! I really can’t, what the hell is going on??? I know I had that fish n chips last weekend but I was only one point over for the day that day and this week I worked really hard at hitting my points exactly, I had a couple days where there were snags but not so many I thought it’d screw up weigh in day. I hate weigh in day. Grr.

I have decided that I have hit some kind of stupid plateau, I know according to weight watcher rules I can’t say that till I have had 4 sucky weeks in a row but why the heck would I wait another week, for another crappy weigh in result to do something about this problem? I am going to have to do something I really really really don’t want to do…I am going to have to…exercise. Noooooooooooo!!! I don’t wanna! (now picture me stomping my foot, crossing my arms and getting a pouty face) I used to have nothing against exercise, I went everyday after work and weekends too, I did classes, cardio, weights, all kinds of different things but that was a lifetime ago, that girl was a different girl and I don’t know if I can be her again. The girl I am now, she doesn’t know how to do all that active stuff anymore, and the things she does remember she doesn’t want to do because she doesn’t want anyone seeing all her fat jiggle. That’s right, you heard me (well, read me) I don’t exercise cause I don’t want other people to see how much my fat moves around. FYI, when I say people I mean guys.

Not like I think guys are looking at me when I exercise, or if they are it’s with alarm that someone so red in the face is around them and may collapse at any moment – that prob needs a minor explanation, lol, my face goes alarmingly red with very minor exertion, it goes red enough I have had perfect strangers come up and ask if I am ok because I look like I am about to keel over or something.  It was funnier when I was in shape (all those years ago), now, combine the red face with the heaving breath and the fat body and people really do think I am gonna keel over and that’s just not cool.

I tried out a couple different gyms on trial runs hmmm, last year maybe? I can’t afford any of them so even if I found one I wanted to join it wouldn’t matter but none of them were gyms I liked. Most were unisex so I had to deal with all these hot guys around and that just made me uncomfie – the really in shape women made me equally as uncomfie cause I kept thinking they were silently judging me or something. Oh, and yes, I am aware probably way fewer people pay attention to me then I think but hey, I live in my world and in that world a lot of people look at me daily and it stresses me out. 😛 There was one gym that was all ladies but it’s not all that great and costs way too much considering the equipment and classes available.

Now however I am going to hafta do something active because I am sick of the disaster I have had on the scale three weeks running. There is a medium/strenuous hiking trail near my place, it’s 3.8km long so I guess I should start walking that. sigh. There is another hiking path I found by accident months ago that I guess I will try to re-find so I don’t always have to do the same path. Other then that I am not sure what to do. I don’t like exercising at home cause it means I am in the living room and I don’t like the idea of my roomie seeing me exercising (she’s in shape so I’m back to the thinking a thin girl will be judging me). There is a hot yoga place near me I thought I’d try but it’s stupid expensive – why do exercise places have to cost so damn much?!?!?! You’d think the gov would regulate stuff like that since they want all of us to stop being so out of shape and such a drain on the health system, eesh.

If anyone has any suggestions for exercises that don’t involve a gym I am so up for hearing about them! For now though I am going to have to get active in whatever way I can manage. This means that the rest of my lazy long weekend has to not be lazy, least not all the time. Sad. I am going to attempt to hike that trail tomorrow (weather permitting) and maybe sometime over the weekend I will walk to the train station to see how long it would take, there is one near my place and one far from my place. If I take runners to work in the morning I could walk to the station near my place and after work get off at the one far from my place and walk home, enforced exercise. I wonder though, is it better to do that or better to drive home like always and then go for the hike – the hike has more up and down hills and I wouldn’t have to stop for red lights etc…it’s something to think on anyways.

Here is what I ate today (keep in mind I was lazy and unhappy cause of the stupid scale):

1 toasted sandwich

    – 1 scrambled egg = 2 points

    – 2 pieces toast = 2 points

    – 2 pieces turkey bacon = 2 points

    – 1 cheese slice = 1 point

    – tomato slices and ketchup = 0 points

1 cup pineapple = 1 point

18 pieces Maltesers = 4 points

1 whole wheat tortilla = 2 points

1/2 tblsp light peanut butter = 1 point

1/2 tblsp nutella = 1 point

1 package Jolly Time Kettle Corn = 1 point

fruit smoothie = ? points

So, the points that can be added up are 19 points but I don’t know what the smoothie is. I took some frozen mixed berries and put them in the magic bullet with milk to make a smoothie. I measured half a cup of milk and a cup of berries but it was too thick so I added some more milk and that made it too runny so I added a bit more berries and finally it was ok but with all the adding of little amounts of milk and berries I ended up not knowing exactly how much I used. It should have been a 2 point shake but it went over that, how much it went over however, I am not sure. And, to top all that, it wasn’t even worth it! lol. My roomie drinks them all the time so I figured I’d do it and all it tasted like was milky fruit, not as gross as it sounds but really bland. I asked her about it and turns out she uses vanilla flavoured soy milk so hers tastes better, and she adds a bit of sugar. Ah well, it was an attempt and even though it didn’t work it got me some more fruit which is always good.  

I am not looking forward to tomorrow and my having to exercise, ugh, this is gonna suck but if it shows results on the scale next week I guess that’ll make it worth it…now to find my small iPod so I can have it all charged an ready…crap, I have no idea where I left that thing…

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