Last weekend my team and I competed in a dragon boat race festival, to read about it click here. It is a smaller festival so even though we won gold in our division we didn’t get anything for it, well, except bragging rights lol
Our coach this evening after practice had us all gather around and surprised us with…
Front
Back
Gold Medals!
Turns out this year the festival organizers decided to award medals to the winners but medals were awarded Sunday and my team competed Saturday so none of us were there for the medal ceremony. Lucky for us coach was there so she collected the medals on our behalf. None of us had any idea we were getting them so we were all super surprised and of course delighted when we got them tonight. It was like winning twice lol 🙂
I have a video of the final race that one of my teammates uploaded to facebook and am trying to get to embed on here but not sure if it will work…
…aaaaand nope, it didn’t work. sigh. I’ll try again another night.
It was an odd practice tonight, we were all tired for some reason and paddling just seemed harder, ugh, I hate nights like that. 😛 We have a makeup practice this coming Sunday because this past Tuesdays practice was cancelled. I won’t be able to make it to the Sunday practice because I will be at work, boo! There is only one more week until the biggest festival of our season, I can’t believe how fast this season has gone!
This weekend is the DZ 500m Dragon Boat Race Festival! 🙂
My team. 🙂 We didn’t all realize there was a camera looking at us lol
It is a two day event but each team races for only one day, there are three races per team per day. In the grand scheme of things it is a fairly small festival, mostly used as a qualifier for the Rio Tinto Alcan Dragon Boat Festival (the largest North American dragon boat festival). It’s a good festival to gauge where your team is in comparison to other teams, and a great chance to see how your team does in a 500m race since you most likely haven’t competed in a 500m race since last season.
Racing during practice, either against a stop watch or other teams that are on the water practicing is a completely different thing than racing in festival, obviously lol.
We had an early start, we met at 8am and our first race was scheduled for around 9:30am…I think…I know it was around there but these things almost never run on schedule lol When we were getting ready for warm-up we were told they (the race officials) were running behind then in an almost magical turn around they were running early *rolls eyes* Ah well, keeps things interesting! 😛
We had excellent race times for all three races! 🙂 Yay!
First Race: 2:15
Second Race: 2:14
Third Race: 2:11
wOOt! wOOt!
Even though we are racing against other teams we are also racing against ourselves, we always want to do better than our previous race and we are oh-so-happy that we got faster with each race!
Plus! Not only did our times get better with each race we came in first place in our division! FIRST PLACE! *happy dance*
This is an excellent way to be heading in to our next race festival and talk about a boost to team morale, what a truly awesome way to start the race season!
Oh and on a vain note, we have new jerseys this year and we all looked amazing! 🙂 Last year we kept having jersey issues and we ended up going the whole season without a jersey, it was really nice to actually look like a competitive team this year lol One of my teammates designed the jersey and wow did he make them look sweeeeet! I didn’t take any pictures during the day, our races were back-to-back so there was no time during the day and afterwards when we were hanging out it didn’t really cross my mind but next festival there will be more time between races and we’ll probably take a team photo so I’ll post one then so you can see the jerseys, we all love em! 🙂
I’ve been pretty good about eating healthy today, well, except for a cookie I had earlier after our third race as celebration for doing so well lol Yeah yeah, I know! I shouldn’t celebrate with food but those cookies were staring at me all day and I’d just done three races, gimme a break lol 😛 Other than that cookie I did ok, oatmeal, banana, babybell cheese, salad, turkey bacon, egg, toast with peanut butter, tea, water…I think that’s all of it…that’s not sooooo bad, right? *nods head* Right!
I didn’t think I was that person who lost weight, then gained it back. After all, I’m nowhere near the size I was at the beginning of my weight loss journey buuuut…I’m also not the smallest I have been on this journey.
I haven’t wanted to admit this to myself, let alone to anyone else, but it is time I faced the truth…I rebounded a bit. Does this mean I am now a yo-yo dieter? I dunno. Does it mean I am doomed to gain back all the weight I lost? I dunno. Does this mean I am destined to gain and lose and gain and lose for the rest of my life? I don’t know that either…sigh.
Seems there is a lot I don’t know.
I know that I have to get back on track, but I feel lost and not sure how to do that. I keep thinking I am not going to go back to Weight Watchers because I plateaued so badly on that program. Don’t get me wrong, I am super grateful for Weight Watchers, I lost 35 pounds with them, I learned about proper portion sizes with them, I learned I can happily swap out junk food for fresh fruit and enjoy healthy eating but I also feel there are limitations to that program and that I outgrew it. I don’t feel like going back to Weight Watchers is the right choice for me but that doesn’t mean that I know what the right choice for me is.
I also know I am not good at extreme programs. I can only maintain eating paleo, or the bodybeach program, or super restrictive low calorie eating plans for so long before I cave. Even if I like the food and am getting good portion sizes it is more about all the foods I am not allowed to eat. Knowing that on an extreme program having even one spoonful of peanut butter could be considered cheating messes with me. I need a bit of wiggle room, space so I don’t get all down on myself when I step outside of the food rules that I am following.
I need something realistic, and affordable!
My scale has been tucked away for over a year and I am scared to pull it back out, I am scared to see what the number will be when I step on it. I’d rather be back in boxing class getting hit during sparring than stand on that scale again. How pathetic is that?? I originally put it away because I was building muscle and the scale number was no longer an accurate way to measure my progress. It was sloooowly going up as I was getting more trim and it was messing with my head. For so long I relied solely on the number it gave me every week to know if I was doing well and to see it go up, even though I knew it was because of muscle gain, made me feel like a failure. I started gauging my success/failure by other means, how my clothes fit, what size I could now buy, every now and then I would check my size with a measuring tape. For a while these methods of tracking worked but then they didn’t work so well anymore and I was left with no solid way to hold myself accountable.
I’m thinking that is around the time I started to slowly go up in size. For a while it was easy to ignore, my clothes still fit, just maybe a bit tighter, I could still reach the same levels at the gym, even though I wasn’t at the gym as often, I was eating roughly the same amount calorie wise but the calories were coming from more processed foods than fresh healthy foods. The pounds snuck up on me and now I have to face reality that I have gone up an entire size, so that’s what, ten pounds? That’s depressing. All that work I did to lose weight and I have gone and gained some of it back. What was I thinking?!
What’s twisted is that even with the weight gain I am more active then before, just in different ways. Instead of going to the gym daily I will swap out gym visits for a hike, or a run or my dragon boat practice. I am still active just not in a regimented gym equipment kind of way, and I guess the activities I am doing now aren’t as good for weight loss or weight maintenance as following a gym program is. Kinda sucks cause I enjoy the hikes an such but if I have to choose between enjoying the activity and getting results from the activity I will choose results every time…well, except for dragon boating, I will always choose dragon boating lol.
I don’t want to be writing this, I don’t want to be that person that gained weight back. But ya know, I follow a lot of other blogs that deal with weight loss, healthy lifestyles etc and I’ve noticed over the years I don’t seem to be the only one this happens to. It seems a lot of people, before they reach their goal weight have a slip up and gain some of the weight back. Most take a while to admit it to themselves and the longer you take to admit it the more weight you have gained back. I know with me part of it was the way I was thinking about food, I started getting cocky, thinking I didn’t have to be as strict cause I’d lost so much, I could let down my guard a bit. Well, proved that idea wrong! I let down my guard and look what happened! 😛
Even though I’m feeling down because I am facing the truth about my weight gain I am glad I am facing this truth now rather than a couple more months down the road when I will have possibly gained back even more weight.
I don’t have a solution for this, I wish I was concluding this post with some great awesome plan that would get me back on track but I don’t have one…yet! For now I am going to aim to get a new battery for my scale (mine died) and I plan to stand on that scale Tuesday morning. I also have a 4 week eating plan that I am going to research a bit more, see if it is doable on my budget, and I am going to schedule exercise into my days instead of leaving it as an up-in-the-air thing that happens more sporadically then it should. Hopefully I can get myself back on track within 5 days or so and huh, look at that, I may not have a solution yet but it seems like I actually do have a bit of a plan, at least a plan in the making…I’ll cross my fingers it works!…Uh, anybody wanna step on that scale for me? 😉 lol
I can’t believe I am giving this another try, ugh, but heeeeere we go, I am once again doing the 30 Day Squat Circuit Challenge. It is the one that looks like this…
Here we go again!
The reason I am doing it again is because our dragon boat coach wants us all in better shape, I am ok with that because being in better shape is always a good thing and being extra motivated by an outside source can be helpful to keeping you on track, in my opinion anyways, but still…sometimes going through something with someone else makes it easier. 🙂
I posted to my team’s facebook page the Squat Circuit Challenge and asked if anyone else wanted to do it at the same time as me, I got a handful of people who said yes they would which was great! It also meant I couldn’t back out, or put it off since I said in the facebook post what day I was going to start, I was being held accountable right from the beginning! Ack!
So far I am on day 8 which is a rest day, yippee! lol I missed day 6 so on day 7 I did the squats for both days 6 and 7, just an fyi, I don’t recommend that, it wasn’t fun… 😛
To be honest, I’m not finding the squats hard, right now my lack of motivation is fueled by boredom, doing squats is boring. Standing there, doing squats while watching tv or listening to music or whatever, it’s just…well, boring, shrug. I have no better word for it…
I didn’t make it through the 30 day Squat Circuit Challenge last time, I got sick part way through, missed too many days because of being sick and quit it. I had fully intended to start it up again after I was better but I didn’t. I wish I had an awesome reason for you for why I didn’t but I don’t, it was pure not-wanting-to-do-it-ness and nothing else. Well, maybe a bit of knee pain but that is inconsequential.
This time I am determined! I have teammates doing the same thing as I, we can encourage each other, hold each other accountable and maybe even help it be less boring! *crosses fingers*
When I didn’t finish it last time I was super annoyed with myself, I have completed every 30 day challenge I have tried and I knew if I hadn’t gotten sick I would have kept going and finished. First I was annoyed because I got sick, then I was annoyed that when I was better I didn’t get right back to it, can anyone say lazy? *rolls eyes*
I guess I’m hoping to redeem myself a bit by re-challenging myself. Cause hey, just because I say I know I can do it, until I actually do it, the words mean nothing. So bring it on 30 Day Squat Circuit Challenge! Bring.It.On.
My day was going so well, slept in, had a yummy breakfast wrap, finished a book I am reading, chilled with the cat, got ready in plenty of time to leave for dragon boat practice aaaaaaand that is where the good day ended, sigh.
I couldn’t find my keys. How is it possible I couldn’t find my keys?? I put them in the same spot every time I come home but apparently yesterday I didn’t put them in their spot and I got screwed over today. double sigh.
It took so long to find them I missed practice, I literally missed the boat, by about an hour and a half. Oops? I felt like such an idiot. I tore apart pretty much everything in my apartment trying to find them, it was ridiculous. Having to text a team mate to say I wasn’t going to be able to make practice because I couldn’t find my keys…who does that?? *rolls eyes*
When the latest time I could leave and still get to practice came and went I was slightly less frantic in my searching, not like finding them would get me to the boat on time anymore, but obviously I had to keep looking otherwise I’d be in the same predicament tomorrow. I figured if I was tearing the place apart I might as well clean it while I was tearing so by the end of the night I had a clean apartment and keys. Yay! lol
I am going to pretend that the cleaning counted as some sort of exercise, even if I didn’t work up a sweat lol Right after I was done I did a bunch of squats so I feel that should count for something, at least a little something…maybe?
My brekkie wrap, Mmm!
Some info about the breakfast wrap I ate today, it was super delish! There is one triangle of laughing cow cheese spread on a whole wheat tortilla, then a slice of white cheese (don’t judge! I like cheese! lol), two slices of turkey bacon, lettuce, salsa, half an avocado and an over easy egg. It doesn’t stay closed unless I am holding it which is why the pic is of the wrap when open lol The avocado was a massive treat! I have a bunch of foods I don’t buy anymore cause I am strapped for cash and avocados are one of them, this one was given to me by a friend yesterday and boy did I enjoy it! 🙂
I had a doctor’s appointment today, to find out the results of the tests done on my blood from last Monday. It would appear that everything is working a-okay within my body.
How messed up is it that I’m a little disappointed right now? *rolls eyes* I was sorta hoping I’d have a thyroid problem and that I would get medicated (even though I hate taking medication) so that I would then have an easier time losing weight (although from what I’ve heard the meds don’t always help with that…) but instead my thyroid is apparently functioning as it should be so nooooo meds for this girl.
Which really, in the long run I am happy about because meds are so not my thing lol In the short term though, grr! and Boo! lol 😛
The doc says the reason I am having trouble losing weight is because I am subconsciously restricting my movement/activities due to the hip problem. She says it is normal for someone whose had an injury to hold back a bit and not be as active as they used to be because they have to baby the injured body part but most people don’t change their eating habits so they are eating more than they should be considering the reduced activity and bam! Weight gain! Then, as the person starts to regain their active lifestyle, they, without realizing it, hold back, or just do a bit less day-to-day which of course means the weight doesn’t come off as quickly as they would like.
Speaking as someone who was badly injured years ago and took for freakin ever to become fully mobile again and then even longer then freakin ever to lose the weight she gained while gimped I am not impressed with this analysis. I understand it. I just don’t like it.
I am back to being active. I mean yeah, I am a lazy person in general but I am back to my twice weekly dragon boat practices, and my hiking (though not as often as I would like but that is not my fault! life gets in the way *pout*) and my random other activities that are generally not planned but just happen. I mean c’mon, I just ran the BMO Run two weekends ago, isn’t that a sign of an active person??
Apparently not. sigh.
How much more do I have to do to be considered active and for my body to stop being a jerk and drop this weight? *glares at body*
I know that when it comes to weight loss it is 80% what you eat and 20% your exercise and I will admit that I am not the greatest when it comes to food. I try, sorta, in spurts lol I’m pretty sure though that I undereat, shocking I know! Except for the days I indulge in something stupid and them boom! Overeater in the house! *groan* I annoy myself. 😛
I’ve got to get my food back on track but no big gimmicks, no weird tricks, just, I dunno, normal healthy eating, in the proper portion sizes, and no more treats just because. I mean yeah ok, I’m not going to cut out every single treat but I have to be more careful with them, actually have them be treats and not daily occurrences ya know? Oh, and I think maybe I should be eating more than once or twice a day…but I always find that hard, sigh.
I’m starting with baby steps, which may seem lame, but I figure every little change will help and will eventually grow in to a big change *crosses fingers and hopes* So, in that vein, when I got home from work this evening I had a cup of tea but no snack. Not gonna lie, I miss having a snack, but my night time snack was almost always something not nutritionally beneficial to my body and not really needed for anything other than taste bud happiness and those little buggers can just suck up the loss as far as I’m concerned lol
I will have to come up with an actual eating plan of some sort otherwise nothing will actually change, but that can wait for tomorrow, when it’s not one in the morning and I’m not kinda tired. 🙂
Sigh, spending any part of my day at the doctor’s office is not how I want to spend my time. I am very anti-doctor. Not for everyone, I don’t mean I shun Western medicine or anything, just that I personally don’t like doctors and would much rather let my body fix itself when it gets sick or injured. I have an immune system right? Might as well let it earn it’s keep! lol
Having said that I have been seeing a lot of doctors since January, ugh, I’m so done with this, and yet, I am not, sigh. Mentally I am done, physically I have to keep going. *rolls eyes* It’s annoying.
Last week I had an appointment with a specialist I am seeing in regards to my hip, if you want a refresher on that lovely little story click here.
As a result of that appointment I now have to go to physio, sigh, and get an MRI, double sigh. Then my normal family doc calls me, well her receptionist called me lol, to set up an appointment. I guess the specialist had sent over to her the results of the most recent tests he had sent me for so my family doc wanted me to come in so she could talk to me about it.
I saw the family doctor today, she told me what the test results were and what they mean, then she made a comment about what activities I do. Now, I tend to downplay what I have been up to with these doctors cause I don’t want to be told to not do something but I figured since the BMO Run was already over I might as well make a comment about it, not like she can tell me to not do something when it’s in the past right? 😉 lol I mentioned I did the 8km run last Sunday and then went to compete in a dragon boat race and her reaction was “So you’re fit”. Um, what? Obviously from looking at me you can tell I am not fit, eesh. So I commented back something along the lines of “you’d think but doesn’t matter what I do I can’t lose this fat”.
That comment actually got her attention, the rest of the convo went something like this:
Doc: You haven’t lost any weight?
Me: Nope.
Doc: Not even from the run? You didn’t lose any weight from running? Or dragon boat racing?
Me: Nothing. Trust me, I’m trying.
Doc: Have I had your thyroid tested? (she looked at my file) I haven’t had it tested…I’m getting it tested. If you are this active and you aren’t losing any weight you might have a thyroid problem.
Me: Um, ok?
So here is where I am at. I try to shun doctors and all their tests. Buuuuuuut if this blood work shows something wrong with my thyroid she might prescribe some form of treatment or pills that will help fix the thyroid and have a happy result of me losing weight and how awesome would that be?? I am now wondering just how twisted I must be to be sorta hoping I have a thyroid problem…fairly twisted? Or just sorta twisted? Maybe just desperate…not that that sounds any better…
I know to a lot of people running an 8km is nothing, it isn’t even long enough to count as their training but to me 8km is a huuuuuge accomplishment. I’ve never run that far and today I did. Today was a good day lol
The race didn’t start till 9:30am which means I got to sleep in later then if I had gone to work, yay for sleeping in! lol I had to be downtown by 8:30am at the absolute latest in order to catch the shuttle bus that would take me to the start area, I decided to get there for 8am just to play it safe, I was highly paranoid about missing the shuttle and not being able to get to the start area in time and not running, that would have sucked. Luckily that didn’t happen.
So I got downtown, checked my backpack, boarded a school bus (um, when did the leg room in those seats become sooooooo small? I barely fit!), got shuttled to the starting area and then proceeded to try to find shelter cause oh yeah, I forgot to mention, pouring rain! Brr! It was a funny sight, all these groups of people wearing running outfits huddled under huge trees trying to stay warm, limber and dry. I went under a tree for the length of time it took to write a text, I was trying to keep my phone dry-ish, after that I decided screw this I don’t want to huddle under a tree like cattle *rolls eyes*, so I wandered a bit. From where we were waiting we could see the half-marathoners go by so I went by the sidelines for a bit to cheer them on, I was encouraged by their speed. I’d had the horrible thought that I’d be the absolute slowest person out there and be passed by and left in the dust but the majority of them seemed to be running at a speed I felt I could maintain for quite a while, phew! One less thing to be freaking out about!
While standing around waiting I randomly started talking with a really nice lady named Kristi, she is from Manitoba and came here specifically for this run. Crazy huh? We chatted, she is one of those super friendly people that you just instantly get along with. Without even planning it we started running together, I thought she’d leave me behind super quick cause she has been training for this unlike I who kept intending to train and didn’t, oops! 😉 But she didn’t, we stuck together for 3-4km? I can’t quite remember the distance…the only reason we split up was she stopped to use the bathroom and I kept going. Now that I think about it maybe I should have waited, that would have been the polite thing to do…but before I could suggest waiting she waved me on and said she’d see me at the finish line as she headed off course to the washroom so I just kept going. I kept an eye out for her the rest of the run, I was absolutely convinced she’d catch up with me but I didn’t see her, and trust me I would have, she was wearing a very bright orange jacket.
At the same spot I left her there was a water station, I was one of those people grabbing a little cup of water while running by, how weird is that? I’ve only ever seen that on tv before lol Anyways, it turns out it wasn’t water, it was some sort of, I dunno, sickly sweet something, gack. It was nasty and made me thirstier then I was before I drank it. Not cool. This all happened right before a hill and about halfway up the hill I am sad to say I started to walk, I was super thirsty, had a sickly sweet taste in my mouth and I haaaaate hills. Looking back I wish I had managed to run that hill, I had run all the previous ones, because walking that hill somehow gave me permission to walk all the other hills if I felt like it, sigh. I know at the time I felt like I had to walk it, a quick walk granted but still a walk but I wish I’d pushed myself a bit harder, seen just how much more I could have done. Running is a mental game after all.
There were volunteers along the route cheering the runners on, for the most part I didn’t notice them much but there was this one group of 4 teenage boys who were holding up signs with quotes and cheering. One had a sign that was a quote from Gandalf (from Lord of the Rings) but this other sign really helped me. It said:
The voice in your head that says you can’t do it is a liar.
I know that quote, I’ve heard that quote, hell, we’ve all heard that quote or a variation on it but the timing of that sign, held by that stranger really helped me. It helped me to speed up, to run a little longer, and every time after that I wanted to stop I repeated to myself “the voice is a liar, the voice is a liar, you can do this!”
Yeah I know, I’m crazy lol 😛
I have multiple official times because of how they released the 8km runners on to the course, we were merging with the half marathoners who were already running, because of that our official start line was farther back which meant we started running before we actually go on to the race course. So, we crossed over two mats that registered our running chip at the beginning and then crossed over two at the end. This gave us our time for the actual distance of 8km as well as the time for the real distance we ran. My results are:
(heads up, don’t expect to be impressed or anything lol)
I did the 8km in 1:03:09
The goal I set for myself was 1:10:00 so I am very glad I beat my goal, screw glad, I am kinda proud. 🙂
But, to keep this in perspective, the fastest runner of the 8km was a guy from Victoria BC who did it in 28:20! Eesh! The average for the 1858 participants was 56:06 which means I was 7mins slower than average which, considering my lack of training and the fact that I am not a runner doesn’t seem that bad…to me lol
what my Runtastic App tracked
Every single persons name gets called as they cross the finish line, which I thought was awesome, made me feel special lol
front and back of my medal, there is a spot in the back that will get a chip inserted in to it that shows my time
As soon as you cross the finish line there are volunteers urging you to keep moving, they are thrusting water and juice boxes in to your hands, you get given a medal, then food, lots of food! A banana, some yogurt, this lunch box thing that had all kinds of yummy treats inside (all healthy) and because it’s how we roll here everything was recyclable or compostable. 🙂 I heard some people from the States commenting saying how you know you’re in Canada when not only do the garbage containers have multiple slots for all different types of recycling and composting but there is a volunteer at the garbage can to make sure you throw stuff in the right slot lol I guess I am so used to that I didn’t stop to think it might look weird to someone not from here. 😛
I then had to rush to get my bag from the bag check area, snag a cab and get to the dragon boat regatta my team was competing in today. They knew I’d be late for the races but that I’d do my best to get there as soon as I could. I missed the first two heats but got to race in the third. 🙂 They were all so happy when I showed up, all proud of my medal and asking questions about how it went. I’m so lucky to have a team that supported my doing the run rather than be mad I was going to miss part of the regatta.
We had a good third race and I heard from the team the first two races went really well also. 🙂
Then we all went for food, which fyi, from the time the race was over until about 7pm I have felt like a bottomless pit lol I started the day off with a protein packed healthy breakfast and for the most part have eaten fairly healthy throughout the day, each time I ate it was a meal with protein to try to help my poor body get over what I put it through lol
All in all I am feeling great! A bit of muscle pain in the calves and thighs, my knees are kinda sore, but nowhere near as bad as it could be. It may have been a rainy day, and I may have spent it soaked to the skin from about 9am till 1pm but it was an awesome day and I’m so glad I decided to run the 8km! Who knows, maybe I’ll run a longer race next time!…wait, next time?? What the hell am I talking about?! I’m not a runner! lol 😉
Sidenote: I apologize for the lack of pictures but I was so busy enjoying the day I didn’t think to pull out my phone and snap pics of things as I went through the day, I know I know, bad blogger! 😛 There were official pics taken but I haven’t received a link yet to see them, once I do I’ll post one so you can see how much of a drowned rat I looked like lol
I got up distressingly early (for me lol), met with a friend, went for a walk, went home, cleaned up, ate, ran errands, saw the doc aaaaaand went to pick up my race kit for this Sunday! OMG sooooo excited! Freaked out but excited lol 😛
I thought the process of picking up my race kit would be as quick as me walking up to a desk, showing my ID, giving my bib number and being handed a bunch of stuff. Easy peasy. Well, what really happened was easy but as far from what I imagined as possible!
The line was huge, and slow moving, ugh. While waiting in line I was trying to figure out what was going on because there were these blue fabric “walls” that had been put up so I couldn’t see past the front initial sign-in area but I could hear all kinds of stuff and was oh-so-curious.
At the first stop I got given a blue bag filled with all sorts of goodies. Some magazines, a newspaper that is exclusively about the run, coupons, a t-shirt and most importantly my race bib! Eeeeeek! I want to post a pic of it but it is recommended people don’t put pictures of their bibs online until after the run because I guess people steal bib numbers that get posted online, rude!
magazines, coupons, newspaper…these were all in my blue tote bag
Yay for stuff!
Then I was let loose in to a large area filled with booths. They were giving away stuff, had games to play, draws to enter, all kinds of merchandise to buy, oh and samples, don’t forget the edible samples! Mmm!
I nibbled and sipped my way through various energy bars, protein bars, energy jelly drops, protein drinks and greek yogurt. Yeah, I know the yogurt doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest but it was tasty and has protein in it and I got a coupon so yay! lol
I checked out the clothes, there were all kinds of things labelled with the name of the run, similar to when I compete in a dragon boat festival and you can buy a tshirt with the festival name on it. I opted to not buy anything with the run name on it, didn’t really see the point, I’ll have a medal to remember the run with so who needs an overpriced shirt? I did however buy some on sale socks that promise no chaffing and a baseball cap. I’ve been meaning to buy a baseball cap for weeks now, I have one but it doesn’t have that hole in the back for my ponytail which until now hasn’t been a big deal but the weather is getting hot and when I wear my hair in a braid or a low ponytail to accommodate the cap with no hole my hair is smooshed against my neck, which gets sweaty, and ugh, so annoying. I know I know, I’m a whiny brat. 😛
Oddly enough, besides the bib my favourite thing that I got today was the shaker cup I won. It is in the second picture up there. I spun a wheel and the arrow fell on it and it became miiiiiine lol I already have one, from Popeye’s but I’ve been wanting a second one, just not willing to buy a second one so this worked out nicely.
The weirdest thing I received was the rice, someone put a package of it in to my hands along with a coupon. I thought about giving it back (since I don’t eat rice) but then realized I am poor and shouldn’t put my nose up at free food lol
The most useful thing I received was the bus ticket. They try to encourage using public transit so if you want one you can get a ticket for the bus, well, duh, of course I want one, it’ll save me $4! lol I will be busing downtown to a meeting point, putting my bag in to bag check, getting a free shuttle to the start line and then being corralled like cattle until being let loose on the run route.
So there we have it, after the fun of getting my race kit I went to dragon boat practice, had a blast, and am now home thinking happy sleepy thoughts about bed *yawn*
Do not watch the above video if swearing offends you!
I have, hmm, 4 distinct clothing styles right now, I’d love to have more but can’t afford to, shrug. I’ve noticed that each clothing style corresponds with a noticeable change in how I act, in how my personality shines through lol 😛
Something I learned in film school is that we use our clothing choices like armour, what we wear shows the world who we are, and that in turn dictates how people treat us and to some degree how we treat others. Obviously there are many other factors at play but I’m focusing on clothing and your “look” only (by “look” I mean hairstyle, makeup, accessories etc).
Over the years your different looks will change as you figure out who you are, so you might go grunge for a while, goth, alternative, punk, bling, hipster or any of the other varied options, they are all valid choices and they will all help you to express who you feel you are inside.
But what happens when the clothing starts to define you and your actions to such a degree the “look” stops being something that you choose so you can show off a part of your personality and instead dictates to you what part of your personality you will show?
I like to wear black, a lot of black, with leather wrist bands that are studded with metal, I like thick chains for my necklaces, I like to accessorize with skulls and crossbones, I like dark eye makeup and pale skin, I like buckles on my black leather boots and if I could afford it I’d own a motorcycle. This is how I always want to look, but I can’t always look like that because I have a life that has varied interests and activities, shrug. So this version of me doesn’t get to come out nearly as often as it used to. When it did though, I was bad ass, I could handle anything, I could confront anybody about any topic, I could hold my ground, I could fight if needed, I could stare down a person so they’d not even approach me, I felt like I had power, like I was different enough from the norm I stood out and was very clearly not a sheep. Or at least all of that is how my look made me feel.
But what about when I work out? Obviously I’m not going to dress like that!
So, when I go hiking, or to dragon boat practice, or running, or to the gym, or walking with friends, or bike riding or any of the other sporty activities that I do I dress differently. I wear yoga pants, and runners, and sports bras, and a t-shirt that is meant to get sweaty, and my hair is pulled back, I have little to no make up on, maybe I’ve thrown a baseball cap on my head, I’m as far away from the girl in black as I can be. When I dress like this I act differently then the girl in black does. I’m friendly, I am competitive, I don’t care if I’m sweaty cause I’m working out, I’m all about getting out there, doing stuff, finding the next activity, enjoying the fresh air.
But what about when I am chillin at home?
At home I’m all about comfort, I’m all for the over sized sweat pants and t-shirts, usually with an over sized hoodie thrown over top for good measure. I wear thick comfy socks, my hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and my bangs are clipped back with barrettes cause I don’t want to be annoyed by them. You can’t tell what shape I am because my clothes make me look like a lump, I may or may not have makeup on. When I’m dressed like this I am lazy, I’m tired, I want to be left alone to watch tv, or read a book, or go online, I’m anti-social and I like it that way. I don’t care about what I’m doing tomorrow, hell, I’m not thinking past the next half hour, I’m a hermit who doesn’t like being outside.
Hey now, you hafta pay rent somehow! What about when I’m at work?
Work is where I am farthest from myself, if anyone ever questions my acting ability they should come see me at work, acting at its finest! I wear business casual clothes, stressing the casual part of that! In summer I wear a lot of dresses, they are easy outfits and the residents like them – they are of a generation where women wore dresses and skirts more often, shrug, I’ve found my being in dresses and skirts makes them feel more comfortable…that and the guys like looking at my legs lol. I’m wearing patterns, and florals *shudder*, cute ballet style shoes with bows on them, my hair is loose and straight, my makeup is light and natural. I smile a lot, laugh a lot, am super cheerful and helpful and patient. I have time for everyone and make sure everyone I deal with feels they have my undivided attention when I am speaking with them. I fix various things, and explain and re-explain the answers to the same tech questions weekly, I am quick moving and sweet and have been emotionally adopted by every resident in there to the point that it sometimes feels like I have 79 grandparents. I am empathetic, sympathetic and if there is an emergency I run like the wind and take care of the resident in need right up to the point the paramedics get there and take over. I nurse wounds, provide a hand to hold when someone is in pain, am that familiar reassuring face, somehow I make them feel protected.
Oh I lied, I have a fifth look, my out with friends look.
It is a toned down version of the girl in black. Same black leather boots with buckles, same tendency to wear black, and skulls, and black leather wrist bands with spikes, but toned down a bit. So, if I wear the wrist band, I’ll leave the chunky chain jewellery at home. It’s a way to feel a bit like myself while not going overboard and freaking my friends out, shrug.
So, with each of these outfit styles how I feel about myself and how I interact with the world changes. Some things remain no matter the look I wear, I will always stand up for myself, get easily irritated and have a snappy sarcastic comeback (shrug, sarcasm is in my blood lol) but other reactions are different, depending on the look. For example, today I was hiking and passed a guy with two pit bulls, I made a comment about him having beautiful dogs, he thanked me, we smiled as we went our separate ways. Not a big deal. Had I crossed paths with him on a sidewalk and I was dressed in my black/skull/leather combo I might have glanced at the dogs and admired them but wouldn’t have said anything. Why? Because in that look I am more anti-social, shrug.
When do our various looks stop showing off who we are and start restricting us? Start defining us more than we define the look? There is nothing stopping me from being anti-social when I’m dressed in my athletic clothes, and yet I am friendly when dressed like that, competitive, but friendly. Just like I am not friendly when dressed in black and skulls. I’m the same person, with the same likes, dis-likes, hopes, dreams, pet peeves but I don’t act like it…or maybe it’s that the really important parts of my personality act the same no matter the outfit (like sticking up for myself) but the less cemented parts shift as the look changes? When I get dressed I feel like I am putting on a character and while in that outfit I stay that character, maybe that’s an actor thing? or a me thing?
The Amazing Shrinking Woman 