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Can Knees Just Fall Off?

27 May

Holy crap my knees freakin huuuuuurt! I decided in honour of summer being officially here (in my head that is, I have no idea if the actual official first day of summer has already come and gone, I don’t really keep track of stuff like that lol) I would unlock my bike, drag it off the balcony, drive it to the bike store to get air in the tires and then go ride the seawall, wOOt! I have never ridden the seawall, I have lived here since September 2007 and I have never ridden the seawall, disgusting! and uh, yeah, I have had my bike here that entire time…*sheepish face*…although, in my defence, I have walked the entire seawall, I feel that should be taken in to account when I am being judged…just sayin…

This summer is about being more active, getting out there, exercising but also having fun, finding ways to be social while getting fit…basically an extension of last summer lol 😛 So out came the bike! Let me just say, I looooove my bike. It took me months to pick, I was not just gonna buy any ol thang, I wanted a sweet ride…which, admittedly, when I started the shopping experience was mostly about the colour lol *rolls eyes* I know, how like a girl right? 😉 In the end though I didn’t pick it based on colour, although the colour didn’t hurt (it’s blue, silver and black), I picked it based on what was a good fit for me, my activity level, what I was planning to use it for, ya know, all that important stuff, shrug.

My poor bike has been so neglected for so long though, lol, I haven’t ridden it in I don’t know how many years, eek! All that money spent and I barely use it, lame. I was considering selling it this year so I could buy a paddle for dragon boating instead of using the paddles at the club buuuuut I figured at least give biking a shot before selling her…yes, my bike is a her, deal with it. 😉 lol oh, and no, she doesn’t have a name, I’m not a complete freak, eesh.

Well, it was soooo much fun today! Such a great experience! I biked to the seabus and while waiting for the seabus started talking with another girl who had her bike with her, we were talking about biking trails, helmet vs non helmet wearing, all kinds of biking talk, who knew having a bike with you made you someone people were more willing to talk to? Weird. Well, we were getting along quite well so we decided to ride the seawall together. Normally I hate exercising with other people (unless it’s in a class, like my boxing, or training with the boating team) so part of me was a bit ‘aw man, now I won’t be able to listen to my music while biking, sigh’ but part of me was all ‘hey, someone to bike with, less chance of me getting on the wrong path now’ lol. I warned her that this was my first time biking in years and there was a good chance at some point I’d be exhausted and need to stop or at least slow down or possibly walk the bike for a bit, she was all cool with that and said she’d only been biking a short time too so she might have the same trouble as she hadn’t done the seawall yet – talk about a great match! What are the odds of that? 🙂

I am proud to say we didn’t have to stop at all! There are parts of the path you have to dismount and walk the bikes so we were off them then cause we had to be, and during one of those walking sections she needed to check her phone cause she was waiting for a call so we ended up pausing for a minute or so and well, ok, the view was amazing so once we paused to take pics…crap, ok, fine, we stopped a couple times I guess, damn! But we weren’t stopping due to exhaustion or being unable to go on, we stopped uber briefly twice and really, I don’t feel those pauses negatively impacted our results, so there! 😛 lol

While biking I have a tendency to just go, I stand on the pedals a decent amount to help absorb shock when going over bumps or curbs etc, it’s just reflex, it’s how I always used to bike. I think I’m gonna hafta be more careful with that from now on cause I am now regretting that, sigh. My knees! I feel so old complaining about them but seriously man, they hurt soooo badly! I’ve been going up and downstairs doing laundry and each time I have to get up from the chair, and then go on the stairs, and then sit again I want to cry. I have arthritis in my left knee from the injury I had all those years ago so I’m used to that one acting up and I sorta expected it would protest while I was biking but it didn’t so I went hard the entire time, didn’t really pamper my knees at all…guess the knees need pampering while biking, although how the heck I do that I have no idea!

I’m actually tempted to put a heating pad on my knees they hurt that much but I’m not sure if that will actually help…I know I am having trouble sleeping cause of the pain, hence my writing this post at 3:30am…and I’m kinda concerned cause I have plans tomorrow that involve a lot of hill walking and since just going down my hallway is painful and making me limp I’m not so sure how I’ll do on the hills, guess I’ll find out in the morning! lol

I know I am bitching, and yeah my knees do really hurt, but I think it was worth it. 🙂 I made a new friend (we swapped info and plan to go biking again), I got outdoor exercise (something I don’t get often since I hide from the sun a lot lol), I got to use my bike instead of neglecting it and I had fun. Really, what more could a person ask for from a Saturday? 😀

view of the seawall in one of the pedestrian only sections

 

pretty sunset

 

just one more awesome view from today

 

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Outside Inspiration #TNDO

19 May

Sometimes you need to be inspired or motivated by something other than what you tell yourself, you need someone to look up to, someone to follow, some idea or mission or poster or something! Sure you should always have a nice long list of reasons for why you are working your ass off to get in shape but sometimes your reasons just seem to fade from your head and on those days you need something else to help you remember why you are on this journey.

When I have those days I watch this video:

Giavanni Ruffin’s How Bad Do You Want It?

It is a freakin amazing video! There is a voice over done by Eric Thomas and he is giving such an inspirational message that I don’t know how anybody can listen without immediately feeling like they can do anything, they can fight, they can push hard, they can win! The message, combined with the video makes me want to get up and get my lazy butt to the gym every single time! 🙂

The back story (simplified) is this, Giavanni played one year of high school football and wanted to go professional so he went to a community college but didn’t get a lot of play so he switched schools the next year and was played on, hmm, I think it’s called First String? or Wave, or something like that…basically, he got to play more. He rocked it at school but he had some kind of legal trouble or something and it messed up his chances to go in to the NFL right after college. So, he has been working his ass off to get into the NFL and he made this video to help inspire people and to show what he is doing. Well holy crap, I don’t think anybody has ever done more in the fight for their goal. The video went viral and had so many responses he started a website and he now has a motto, it’s Take No Days Off, or TNDO. I LOVE it! He’s also got some brains goin on in that head of his cause he started a clothing line for TNDO and now he has quite the following. He does all the work himself in regards to taking the orders, getting them sorted and shipped out, he’s not just slacking now that everyone knows who he is. I totally want a shirt to wear to the gym but can’t afford to buy one yet…not that they are over priced, just that I am way poor lol 😛

He also started doing vlogs since people kept wanting updates on what is going on with him and his football, he is considered a free agent and signed oddly enough with a Canadian Football Team, *rolls eyes*, why that poor boy is coming up here to our football league I don’t understand, we don’t pay nearly as much! but hey, yah for the Hamilton team which has signed him cause they definitely got a guy who will push hard everyday and not be out worked by any other player.

So what is it about Giavanni and this video that is so inspiring? Is it the fact that a super yummy looking guy is shown in a video working out so lots of women are oggling him? (hey, don’t go rolling your eyes! ladies like eye candy just as much as men! and he is hawt! lol) Is it the message in the voice over? Is it that a normal everyday person is letting us see how badly he wants to reach his goal and is letting us in on how much he is willing to fight for it?…I think that last one might be closest.

Sure, most people have goals, they want to achieve things, but most people never let on just how badly they want to achieve those goals, and once they get them (if they get them) they act like it was a given they would get there and it’s no big deal. That’s how our society works, we’re not allowed to show how much something means to us, we’re all supposed to be super cool and slightly disdainful and bored cause we have everything. I am guilty of this. There are lots of times when I want something so badly I can barely breath because of it, the wanting takes over my every thought, my reason for doing everything, the goal is all I can think about, all I can dream about, all I care about. But do I let on how much I want it? Nope, never. In fact, the more I want something the less I talk about it. In my experience if I mention how much I want something, it’s a given I won’t get it. So now I keep my mouth shut. The added benefit to keeping my mouth shut is that if I don’t get what it is I was trying for I don’t have to deal with people constantly seeing if I am ok, I can grieve alone, in private. The downside is that people seem to think I don’t really care, don’t really have goals or plans, they think I am drifting when in reality I am fighting for what I want but silently.

But Giavanni, he made his goal as public as possible, it’s all over youtube, it’s all over his website that he started, he talks about it in documentaries he has filmed, he goes to local schools and talks to the students there to inspire them and openly talks about his story…it is like this man isn’t worried he will not succeed and have people all over the world know he didn’t make it. He is confident, he is fighting for what he wants, he won’t give up…and by him showing the world that he won’t give up on his dream, a dream that only a small percentage of people will ever achieve, it makes me think that I can reach my goal too, That is Giavanni’s magic, in his videos he talks about how you can reach your goals, not just him, he encourages his viewers to do whatever it is that they can, he reminds you it can be done. He isn’t jaded yet, he isn’t bitter, he isn’t saying that life dealt him a crap deal so he can’t get what he wants. He is saying he takes responsibility for his past actions and this is what he is doing to rectify the situation and he will get to the NFL. And ya know what? I believe him. 🙂

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The Cat Says…

17 May

Anybody who lives with an animal that doesn’t reside in a cage (soooo a dog, cat or free range bunny?) knows that those furry little (or big!) animals are very good at letting their humans know what they want, when they want it…they are also quite good at conveying their disappointments in us and at times even let us know when we have screwed something up by such monumental standards even they can’t over look it. lol

This cat I live with has me so whipped it’s ridonkulous! If he wasn’t so cute I’d be distraught at how quickly I went from autonomous human to cat slave! Even as I type this my fingers strain to reach the keyboard cause the cat is resting on the entire front of my body and if I stop cuddling him for longer then 15 seconds or so I get a paw patting my face that has claws slightly unsheathed, a not so gentle reminder that he has decided it is cuddling time and I am not getting with the program…obviously I like to live dangerously since I am still typing lol. 😉

There is one way this cat is not like other cats I know, he doesn’t like human food. Now, I don’t mean he doesn’t come meowing at me when I’m cooking something but that he’ll sneak it off my plate if I’m not careful, nope, he doesn’t even look at me with big sad eyes while I’m eating in the hopes I’ll share…he just doesn’t care. I can put a plate with freshly cooked salmon on the table and walk away and it is perfectly safe cause dude, this little guy just don’t care for it! How great is that? I of course keep tempting him with random human foods just to see if he’ll change his mind but so far, nuthin…Then! I opened a can of tuna. How cliché right? A cat that likes tuna…who knew he’d end up having such pedestrian tastes. 😛

He’s a smart little guy though and he knows the only food I eat out of a can is tuna so as soon as he sees the can opener in my hand he is all over me like white on rice! Climbing up my legs, meowing like he’s been starved for days and this is his only chance for food until the next millenium, just a general adorable cat freak out. Of course, being the dutiful slave I am I always serve him some of the tuna first. Heck, I even serve him, then put a little more off to the side so when he is done I can give him seconds lol. Everyone likes seconds right? 😉

Well, today was the first time that his second helping was apparently not enough, he felt he deserved more, oh dear. I totally would have caved but I had already mixed the Miracle Whip, avocado and diced tomato in to the tuna so it was a no-go for him. I may be willing to give him treats but I’m not gonna give him something that’ll make him sick, what kind of person do you take me for? *raised eyebrow*

I explained to him there was no more…yes, I talk to the cat, deal with it lol 😛 and continued making my meal. Well, he came over when I was sitting down and took interest in the plate so I let him have a look so he’d see I wasn’t eating straight tuna and therefore being a jackass by not sharing. Well! The look he gave me! He took one look at my plate then looked up at me like “what the hell did you do to the tuna? I can smell it but can’t see it! Stupid human!” then he started sulking and stalked away from me, obviously so disappointed in my food error he couldn’t even look at me, let alone be in the same room as me.

So what did I do to this tuna that made it such a disappointment to the cat but yummy for my taste buds? It’s something my friend KL came up with and I love it! See, I keep wanting to like tuna but every time I’d try it I’d gag, ugh, it’s so healthy but so disgusting! KL though fixed that dilemma! You take a can of tuna, drain it (duh, lol), add chopped onion or celery or whatever you like, add Miracle Whip (or Mayo if that’s your dealio) and mix till it is a consistency you like. I add a lot of Miracle Whip to help hide the tuna taste. Then you cut open an avocado, dice it and put that on the tuna, mix it all up so the avocado is spread evenly around but not complete mush, then you dice up some tomato and put that on top and voila! Edible tuna! 🙂 Easy peasy huh? It’s especially great if you are low carb like me *pout* and can’t have bread on any kind of regular basis thereby taking away the opportunity for a tuna sandwich…or any sandwich really…

I like this dish so much I eat it about once a week, Mmm! Now that summer is here it’s even better cause days/evenings when the apartment seems especially warm or I am especially lazy, or rushed, it can be put together super fast, doesn’t require a lot of effort or the turning on of the oven and like I already said, tastes great…well, if you put lots of stuff in there to hide the tuna flavour cause yeah, I’m still not really sold on tuna unless I can disguise it really well. 😛

Just don’t let your cat see what you did to the tuna or you may spend the rest of the day making it up to them…like I am right now…

my owner, all tucked in and ready for bed, he’s glaring at me cause I had the audacity to read before going to sleep so the light was still on and bothering him…not even kidding!

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Talk (Gym) Story

15 May

In Hawaii there is a slang called pidgin, to say ‘Talk Story’ means: to talk about something or chat. So, I have basterdized it a little for the use of my title today and I am gonna talk story about the gym…basically todays post is gonna be funny gym stories that I have accumulated over the past however many months. 🙂

They are all true, they all happened to me or at least in my viewing and they all had the end result of me rolling my eyes and laughing…sometimes while it was happening I would be more annoyed or irritated but afterwards that would always turn in to humour.  🙂 Gotta keep it light right?

(1) Back when I would use a cardio machine for 30 minutes at a time I would usually hop on to the eliptical machine, randomly pick one of the preset programs and go to town. I had chosen a program that was basically all high ramp work which means my ass and upper back thighs were being worked the most. The eliptical was at the end of a row of cardio machines and directly to the left were two leg weight machines that if a person were to use would put their eyes level with my ass…do you see where this is going?  😉 So there I am on my eliptical working my butt off and this guy sits down at one of those leg weight machines, at first he doesn’t do anything but I figured he’s taking a quick breather before starting that exercise so no biggy and I basically ignored him. But a little bit later it dawned on me that he’s still not using the machine, he’s just sitting there, what the hell is he doing? Risking life and limb (have you ever tried turning to look at something while going as fast as you can on an eliptical that is at a high ramp incline? it’s dangerous! lol) I turned slightly to look over at him and he is sitting there with his eyes staring at my ass with the same rapt attention a toddler gives the Telletubbies! What the hell?!?! Uh, ever hear of subtlety? He sat and oggled my ass the entire 30 minutes! I didn’t know if I should feel slightly dirty or flattered lol.

(2) I was in the free weight area and was using the 20lb dumbbells, I was in between sets so I had them resting on the bench I had claimed and was standing by the bench. Just as I went to go pick them back up this guy comes over, puts his hands on the dumbbells and says “women should never use over 8lb dumbbells” and he actually tried to take them away! I grabbed them and said “if I can lift them I can use them” and tugged them back, lol. I couldn’t believe it, how rude is that?! Not like he needed them, there were plenty of other 20lb dumbbells around so I guess he was doing it just to be a jerk? *raised eyebrow*

(3) The other week I was on the treadmill, just warming up in preparation for my interval run, I had my ear buds in but my music wasn’t turned on yet. There was a girl on the treadmill next to mine, she was going at a pace that could best be described as a stroll on a flat incline and talking on her phone. Now picture a valley girl voice for this: “yeah, so, I don’t get it, I go to the gym like all the time and I’m always doing cardio but I never lose any weight!” After saying that comment to whomever she was talking to on the phone she then picked up her Snickers chocolate bar and took a nice big bite! bahahahaha! walking super slow, while on the phone, while eating a chocolate bar…yeah, I wonder why you aren’t losing any weight…not! 😉

(4) I’m in the free weight area (I spend a lot of time there lol) and it was fairly busy so all three benches were being used (one by me) and many of the weight machines that are also in that room were in use. I am the only girl (as usual) and all the guys there that day were the big beefy guys. Then this kid comes in with his Grandfather, he is maybe 13 years old or so and has that rangy scrawny look boys have around that age. The Grandfather is trying to teach him proper form for when he is using the free weights so he tells the kid to grab some 5lb dumbbells and copy what he is doing, the kid gets all “what? I’m not using 5lb dumbbells, I’m stronger than that!” and grabs the freakin 20lb dumbbells. So Grandfather shows him a bicep curl and the kid goes to do the same and has to put the force of his entire body behind it so he can get that dumbbell lifted up to his shoulder, his entire body! lol Grandfather tries to explain it is too heavy but the kid looks at me and says “if she’s using 20lb dumbbells than so can I!”. I’m like wtf? I’m not using them for bicep curls moron, they are for my back muscles, eesh. So I smirked a bit but refrained from laughing…oh, I should point out I subtly paused my iPod so I could hear their convo cause I could tell this was gonna be good teehee. Then the Grandfather tries showing him some other moves and again the kid insists on using weights way too heavy so he’s looking like a fool but he thinks he’s looking awesome, he’s got this “I’m the man” attitude going on, too funny! Grandfather then takes him to the stretching/ab area and shows him how to sit on one of those huge exercise balls they use in yoga so that his body is braced/stabilized and then he does sit ups. The kid goes to do it and is trying to show off how awesome his abs are so he’s going super fast but not actually stabilizing at all so he’s rolling all over the place and I think his legs got a better workout then his abs. *rolls eyes* The entire time I, and all the guys working out, keep taking subtle glances over at this spectacle cause it’s just too funny to miss but at the same time nobody wants to get caught staring right? Well, Grandfather decides they are done and they go to leave, the kid walks past me then comes back, stands just to the side and behind me, faces the mirror, lifts his shirt with his left hand and with his right he rubs his abs and says “oh yeah” while nodding, then he goes strutting outta there like he’s king of the world! I couldn’t help it, I laughed right out loud, I tried to make it sound like a cough but I didn’t succeed all that well lol. The guys working out were all smirking or quietly chuckling but I was full out laughing, how could I not?!  😛

(5) This is another one where I was kind of annoyed but it’s still kinda flattering/funny. I was in the stretching/ab area of the weight room and shockingly enough working on my abs and then stretching, weird huh? lol. I had finished my mat work and had stood up with my feet together and I kept my hands on the floor (I’m kinda flexible, shrug), so basically, my butt is in the air, but whatever, it’s a good stretch! From that stretch I always put my legs wide, then pivot so I can do a deep lunge (I don’t know the actual name of the stretch…look at the image below…it’s like that except I take it a step further and my forearms are resting on the ground beside the foot that is in the forward position…) so I do that stretch for both sides and then kinda chill with my legs together and my hands resting on the ground before rolling back up to standing. For some reason, this one day I looked up while in the middle of these stretches and three guys all at one time whipped their heads around super fast cause I guess they had all been staring and they thought they were caught when I looked up! lol I didn’t realize anyone was watching me, I just decided to look up, lol, totally oblivious am I with some stuff. It kinda annoyed me cause I don’t oggle the guys when they are working out so I feel they shouldn’t oggle me when I am working out…buuuuut, it’s also kinda nice to know guys want to oggle you, lol. 😉

put the forearms resting on the ground beside the foot that is in front and that is the stretch I am talking about…it feels really good! 🙂

I have a couple more but this post is already long enough so maybe I’ll do a part two later on.  🙂

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It Will Hurt

14 May

I am thinking of turning this in to a poster to stick on my wall so I see it everyday and remind myself everyday of what is required of me to attain my goals.

Some days you don’t want the hurt, you don’t want to make the healthy decisions, you don’t want to take the time or sacrifice anything. Those are the days you need to push harder, reach farther, go faster, be stronger. Those are the days that test you, that test your limits, your commitment, your drive, your passion, your true wanting of your goal.

Anybody can say they want to lose weight, they want to get fit, they want to be thin, or strong, or pretty, or flexible…but the difference between those people who say they want it and those who truly want it is what you do on that day you feel your willpower is non-existent, when you are tired, sore, hungry, bored, wanting to go out and have more of a social life then you have been having.

What do you do? Do you still exercise? Do you still eat healthy? Or do you say you’ll get back on track tomorrow, do you give yourself permission to cheat? Slack on going to the gym? Talk yourself out of the actions needed to reach your goal and instead indulge in self-sabotaging habits that will actually knock you back a step?

You are already in pain, you have already hurt, you have already pushed yourself, you have already turned down extra treats, you have already made sacrifices…don’t take away from all that you have already done by doing something that will stop or even worse reverse some of the good you have accomplished.

Be strong! Find something to inspire you, something to remind you of all you have done and all you have left to do. Be the person you want to look up to, make yourself proud.

…geez, I sound like one of those self help gurus…the power of reading that poster I tell ya! lol 😛

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A Day Of Recovery

13 May

Dragon Boat season has been happening for 4 weeks now…hmm, I should clarify, for my team it’s been happening for 4 weeks now, other teams get on the water much sooner. I wish my team got on the water sooner but we’re not quite as competitive as some of the other teams, shrug, whatcha gonna do?

Anyways, we’ve been training for 4 weeks and yesterday was our first Race Regatta, The Spring Sprint! 😀 Any race day is a good race day in my opinion but yesterday was just perfect! Sun was shining but it wasn’t too hot, there were lots of people competing but not so many you got lost in the crowd, the atmosphere was happy and encouraging. That’s the thing about Dragon Boaters, on the water during a race you want to beat the other team no matter what, it is waaaaar! But as soon as the race is over everyone is friendly and nice and we all get along, shrug. It’s a weird phenomenon that I really enjoy.

So yesterday was all about getting up early, competing in races (three of them to be exact) and being stuck outside for approximately 8 hours straight. I’m all good with the getting up early part, and I love the competing part, but the being outside in sunlight for an extended period of time part I’m not so good with.

I’m a natural redhead, we are not meant to be in the sunlight for anything over, oh, say, 5 seconds at a time? You think I’m joking but I’m not. When I walk to the gym it takes me about 3 minutes, I consider being exposed to sunlight for the 3 minute walk there and the 3 minute walk home excessive, it’s just too much sun!

Friends laugh at me all the time and make comments about how I am a vampire but hey, come talk to me when we are in our 50’s and I still have good skin and you are all wrinkled and sun spotted and having to go to the doctors every week cause of yet another early warning sign of cancer appearing on your skin. You know your tan isn’t healthy and yet you do it? pffft. I’d rather guard my natural paleness the way a fat kid guards the last slice of cake at a birthday party then attempt to match everyone else in my age bracket by cooking my skin either in natural sunlight or in a tanning bed. *shudder*

How do I deal with having to be outside for such a long period of time? Long sleeves, and pants, and runners, and a heck of a lot of sunscreen on my neck, hands and face. What? You think I forget about my hands and neck? Ladies, that is where our skin starts showing its age fastest! You can cover up all sorts of skin flaws on your face with makeup but hands and necks? Much trickier! So take care of them now so they continue to look good later…that’s my motto anyways. 🙂  Sadly, I forgot my hat (rookie mistake! ack!) so my scalp got a bit burned where my hair part is, suckfest. That tends to happen once a year no matter how careful I am so hopefully this means I won’t burn it again later in the summer *crosses fingers*

Despite all my carefulness I still end up having to take a day of recovery the day after being outside for so long. I don’t know how people can be outside all day and then spend the next day doing all their normal day to day stuff. Being outside that long in the sun exhausts me! I always end up sleeping longer the next day, wanting to nap somewhere during the day, having no energy, less mental focus, I am just all worn out. I hate it. It’s like being in sunlight drains me…hmm, maybe I am some weird vampire hybrid, like Blade! That’d be kinda cool… 😉

So yeah, today I didn’t do much, slept in ridiculously late (even by my standards!), watched some tv, did some stuff online, resisted the urge to nap since I slept so late, waited till after sundown to go grocery shopping, did some more online stuff and am now blogging before going to bed. Ridiculously lazy day (again, even by my standards) but nothing could have gotten me out of my bed any earlier and I didn’t have the energy or the desire to do anything else all day. Heck, I even let my hair air dry instead of blow drying it, that’s how lazy I was! *hangs head in embarrassment*

By tomorrow I will be back to normal, so lazy but not this lazy lol which is good cause I have Dragon Boat training in the evening, gotta be on top of my game for that! 🙂

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The Next Level

12 May

You always hear talk about going to “the next level” like it’s this big amazing goal we should all have and if you don’t at some point reach it well, then you suck lol. There is so much pressure when you say you are losing weight, pressure to be perfect everyday, pressure to have an amazing story super fast that can wow people, pressure to make it to that next level…whatever that level might be.

To be honest, I didn’t think I had a next level, I have my level, the level of H. 😉 lol I didn’t see what was wrong with that. I’m not an athlete, I’m not training to compete in some huge iron man competition, I’m not trying to prove to others how strong I am or how skinny I can get (well, ok, except for my agent, I have to prove to her how skinny I can get since she’s ordered me to lose another 20lbs but that’s a whole different can of worms lol). I’m not trying to find some elusive next level, I like my level. *stomps foot*

The only problem with my level is that it wasn’t getting me anywhere, stupid level, grr! 😉 I didn’t know it but I wasn’t exercising effectively so the time I spent in the gym was not as productive as it could have been, in some ways it was even counter productive! Lame! Also, the food I was eating wasn’t giving me the needed fuel to accomplish what I wanted *rolls eyes* Oy!

Well, once I learned the eating plan and exercise plan I am now on I was taught more about levels, ah geez, it’s like you can’t get away from them. On this exercise plan you can’t just coast on one level, every week you are pushing to get better, by better I mean stronger, faster, more flexible. My endurance should be increasing, my muscle strength should be increasing, the types of weight work I do should be getting changed…let’s just say there are a lot of freakin levels to keep track of!

Even though I hate cardio I have been preferring my cardio days because at least on those days I for sure know what I am doing and am not so worried about fucking something up…by something I mean me! lol 😛  I know I’ve mentioned my cardio before but just as a recap here is what I do:

20 minutes of running on a treadmill, set the treadmill to an incline of 1 – 2 to stimulate being outside (I started at 1 and am now at 2), jog for 3 minutes (I start at a fast walk for 30 seconds, then go to a light jog for a minute then a slightly faster jog for the remainder of that 3 minutes), then you sprint like a crazy person for 30 seconds, then you jog for 1.5 minutes, then you sprint like a crazy person for 30 seconds, then you jog for 1.5 minutes…tell me you see the pattern here and I don’t have to keep writing those same two sentences over an over? You sprint a total of 8 times, after the 8th sprint you cool down, sooooooo back to a light jog and eventually down to a walk. Now, for pacing, my jogging started out at a speed of 4 (sorry, I’m blanking if the machine measures in miles or km…) and my sprints started out at 8, but! you don’t do all your sprints at just one speed, oh no no no no no, cause see, that would be not pushing to the next level! You do a couple sprints at 8, then do some at 8.5 then maybe your 8th sprint is a 9…something like that. Every cardio day you have to at least match the sprint speeds you did the last cardio day but what you are really supposed to do is get better, so maybe swap out an 8 for an 8.5 or an 8.5 for a 9, get the idea?

Now that you see where I started let me tell ya where I’ve been stuck at. And boy do I mean stuck! I now do my light jog at 5.5 or 6 and my sprints are divided into 4 sprints at a speed of 9 and 4 sprints at a speed of 9.5…and that is it. I’ve been there forever! Every time I have a cardio day I swear I am gonna increase one of those sprints, either do 5 at 9.5 or maybe swap out a 9.5 for a 10…10 is like an elusive goal for me. It’s so freakin close but juuuust far enough away I can’t do it yet, so annoying! Well, everytime I get on that treadmill and swear I am gonna up my sprints I just can’t do it, I don’t have the stamina, the endurance, the capability, the elusive whatever the hell it is you need to get you to that next level. I was barely making it through the sprints I was already at and I knew if I tried to go at a speed of 10 I’d fall off the treadmill, I also knew if I did 5 sprints at 9.5 I’d not make it through the last one and I personally think it’s better to make it through all the sprints then have to jump to the side rails before the end of the 30 second sprint time cause your legs can’t keep going or you’re gonna fall or ya know, just expire right there from sheer over exertion. lol

Now, having said all that, I actually made it to dun-dun-dun: The Next Level!!!! *ding!ding!ding!*

My last cardio day which was Wednesday I was soooo not in the mood to be dealing with any aspect of life, let alone the working out part of it. I didn’t want to be there, I couldn’t bring myself to care, I was tired and had eaten very poorly the day before so I felt icky, I was full of excuses and reasons to not go…and yet, somehow I found myself in the gym on the treadmill…I’m still not really sure how I managed to get my butt there but right now I don’t care, I’m just glad I went. 🙂

I wasn’t even planning to attempt bettering my sprints, frankly, I was prepared to be impressed if I managed my run at all lol. Well, somewhere during the third sprint I thought “meh, fuck it, might as well try doing 5 at 9.5 instead of the normal 4 at 9.5” and that is what I did. My fourth sprint was at 9.5 and so were all the rest after that. I upped my sprints! wOOt! 😀 *happy dance* While I was doing it I was a mixture of “am I actually doing this??” and “meh, I don’t care, just get it done so you can go back home and get away from people”

I think what got me over that line to My Next Level was not caring, the apathy, the complete lack of fear regarding my possible failure to succeed. Normally I am so focused when running and my brain is calculating everything my body is doing and feeling to try to figure out if I can push to the next level of sprints that I don’t just let go and try. I don’t trust my body to be able to perform at the next level, I don’t trust it to not fail. I’ve had my knee collapse under me due to over training and it took a year to be able to walk without a cane or crutches or some sort of aid, it took even longer to be able to take stairs and jog and then run, hell, I still limp sometimes from that stupid injury. I am terrified to go back to that spot, to be so injured I can’t walk, to be that helpless again. Combine that fear with the more normal fear of just not accomplishing what I decide to attempt and without my even realizing it I had crippled my ability to get to My Next Level.

Fear…it is such a little word for such a strong, over powering emotion. I hate that I let fear have any control over my exercising and yet, it does, it has a strong crushing grasp on my exercising because anytime I do something that strains my knee and could cause me to reinjure myself I take a half step back mentally and try to find a way to minimize the risk, but maybe the risk doesn’t always need to be minimized. Maybe my knee is already stronger then I give it credit for? Hell, it was only last summer I started being able to jog again and look at me now? I run freakin sprints! I may not have kicked fear in the teeth and made it get out of my way, but I think getting to my next level of sprints has at least helped me nudge it to the side a bit… 🙂

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The Long Walk

11 Apr

I walk. Not for exercise, although that is a nice side benny, I walk cause I am trying to save on gas usage in my suv (don’t ya love the irony of a mid-sized suv owner trying to be environmentally friendly? 😛 ), and cause I think having the ability to walk should never be taken for granted. In my old neighbourhood it wasn’t practical, or all that possible, to walk when doing errands cause everything was so far away but here, this neighbourhood, it’s like it was designed so people who live in the neighbourhood could get all their stuff done without ever having to go outside of walking distance. How great is that?

There are times when I have to drive to get my errands done, usually cause I will be carrying something really heavy or I have a massively short time limit to get everything done in but meh, once every now and then (and only when it’s for a legit reason) doesn’t seem soooo bad. Then I have days like today, where I end up driving cause of sheer laziness coupled with poor time management and well, more laziness lol. Hey, don’t judge, everyone has stupidly lazy days! I just happen to have the balls to admit it online…in my fairly anonymous blog…lol 😛

After I got home and was actually thinking about it I realized how dumb I am sometimes lol. I have walked in the rain, in the snow, when the ground is so slippery I was sure I was doomed to getting at least a sprained ankle, when the wind is so strong it actually pushes you back a bit, when it’s really late at night and the crazies/annoying drunk people are out an about…I’ve walked this neighbourhood while doing errands in every type of weather imaginable…well, except for nice weather, I moved here beginning of November so I’ve only experienced winter so far lol. But today, on a lovely spring day where it was warm with a mild breeze and I had the time and physical ability to walk to Safeway, did I walk? Nope. I drove. That whole entire 3 minute drive which is maybe a 10 minute walk? I’ve never actually timed it…that little walk seemed too long today for me to bother with. How lame is that? *rolls eyes*

After the gym and shower and protein shake I made the horrible mistake of sitting down, epic fail right there people! One should never sit down “just for a minute” after just getting outta the shower after being at the gym. Your body is all nice and loose and limber, you’re cozy from the shower, you’re feeling good about your exercising and that maybe you deserve a little rest…this is a recipes for disaster! Disaaaaaster! 

I, instead of getting presentable and going to Safeway, sat down, on a comfy chair, within reach of my laptop…do you see where this is going? I ended up going online and doing all kinds of stuff and then all of a sudden *bam!* it’s hours an hours later, I haven’t had dinner and I still need to go grocery shopping before coming home and doing laundry…isn’t my life just oh so exciting? *rolls eyes*

I almost broke one of the cardinal rules for people trying to follow a strict eating plan and went to Safeway without having had my dinner, oh geez, but never fear, least I didn’t wimp out on that lol. I made a quick dinner and then off I went…in my suv. Why the suv? The weather was still great, still nice and warm, I bet it would have been a lovely walk, buuuuut, I convinced myself the bags would be too heavy to carry all the way back (ya know, those whole freakin 7 blocks, oy!) and that I didn’t want to take too much time because I did still have all that laundry to do…I think I might of even had a third equally lame excuse in my head at the time which has since fled the confines of my brain, pretty much proving what a pathetic “reason” it was lol 😛

In the end, my grocery bags actually were heavy (yogurt was on sale so I got 2, and it was also my almond milk and meat purchasing trip) so it would have sucked to carry the bags back to the apartment, but not like I haven’t carried heavier ones, in worse weather, that same distance before…sigh.

So now, it’s 1:32am and I’m sitting here typing away, feeling a bit lazier then normal, all because I drove 7 blocks instead of walked it. If it wasn’t the time of night it is I’d go for a random walk just to make it up to myself but I am tryyyyyying to get back in to a normal sleep routine so I want to be in bed by 2am at the latest…guess I’ll hafta go for a walk tomorrow as well as have my cardio day at the gym to balance this all out. Ya know, I’m starting to think being lazy always comes back to bite ya in the ass! 😉

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I’ve Been Corrupted!

8 Apr

I feel like a computer program that has some bad code, or a box of crayons that’s missing a couple colours or even a Big Mac without the special sauce – something is not right!

If asked to describe myself I am naturally lazy and my stomach and digestive system can handle eating anything…seriously, anything! You know those people who are all “everytime I eat McDonald’s an hour after I eat I have to go running to the bathroom, or, I have the worst stomach ache, or, I feel so sick/bloated/gross etc” – you know what people I am talking about, the ones that eat something we all know isn’t good for you and their bodies make them feel like crap cause of what they ate but they still eat it? Right, ok, so, I’m not that person, never have been. McDonald’s? Bring it on! Taco Bell/Taco Time? No worries there! Any kind of chocolate/candy/sweet? Gimme more! It never makes me feel gross/sick/in desperate need of a bathroom and I never have any troubles digesting.

Well…apparently something has changed in my innards and I am not impressed. Grr to my changing innards! 😉 I went to a lovely Easter dinner last night at a friend’s family’s place. My friend’s Aunt made a tonne of totally delish food, Mmm! Now, my plan was to eat mostly protein (of whatever variety was made) and have itty bitty amounts of whatever sides happened to be there…I was gonna stick to my eating plan darnit! I would have stuck with that plan except the only protein was a cooked ham *gag* I don’t eat pork in most of it’s varieties and a cooked ham is most definitely one of the ways I won’t touch it, blech. So there went my eating protein for dinner plan lol. I ate only the sides and ended up eating these potatoes that were sliced then baked in the oven with some kind of cream sauce and lots of cheese (holy crap soooo good!), super soft butter buns that were heated up so you could put more butter on them (bread! I got to eat bread! *happy dance*), a spinach salad that was super yum and some mixed veggies. Soooo, my dinner was carbs, carbs, oh and more carbs covered by a home made vinagarette dressing lol. Then of course there was dessert. 😛 I made a Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble and the other dessert was a Kraft recipe that had philly cream cheese, cool whip, graham crackers and coconut, all layered and put in the fridge to set, holy crap it was tasty!

Anyways, my point about the food, I ate a lot of carbs in that meal, then had a bunch of sugar in the dessert, and don’t forget all the random chocolate that was floating around since it was an Easter dinner lol. Normally a meal like that wouldn’t have given me any problems, I’d eat, digest, it’d be all good. Well, um, it was not all good today…*pout* today I feel heavy, and gross, and like my stomach has a rock in it or something…I keep craving some unknown substance that will flush out the sugar and carbs I ate (even though I don’t actually believe in flushes). So I spent my day drinking water and tea and going back to my high protein high healthy fat eating plan. I think, after such a long time without eating high amounts of carbs and sugar my body is struggling to handle the amounts I put in it yesterday…Corruption! 

The second corruption I noticed the other day. You know those people who are all “I get so energized from going to the gym/working out, afterwards I feel like I can do just about anything blah blah blah” Those people! Argh! Those people annoy the fuck outta me! lol I go to the gym, I come home, I have a protein shake and a shower and I want a nap, an 8 hour nap! I’m not energized, I’m exhausted! Working out takes what little energy my body has and uses it all and then I am somehow expected to get through the rest of the day? How do people do that?!?!

Well, after the gym the other day (where I had a greeeat workout) I made my protein shake, drank it (duh) and was heading for the shower when I realized I was kinda dancing/bouncing…what the…?? Nothing too extreme or anything but definitely more then my normal walk…and I had a realization…I was…energized…Energized! How did that happen?? As soon as I realized it I came to a complete stop and tried to figure out exactly what and why I was feeling like that. What was I thinking about? Was I just really happy about whatever was floating through my brain and that had me dancing? (hey, don’t judge, that happens lol) Was I listening to music? Nope. Was I having a nervous system spasm and it wasn’t really dancing but some kind of muscle freakout? Didn’t appear to be…So, what was causing this energy and dancing? I’m still not completely sure what it was but I worry it was, *shuffles feet* feeling good about my workout and that feeling good combined with some sort of freak energy burst that came about also due to the workout…I think *clears throat* I became that person who got energized from working out…I’m not sure how I feel about this one…except…Corruption!

My very being has been corrupted by extended healthy eating habits and extended (and often) exercise habits to change my lazy-able-to-digest-any-kind-of-crap-I-put-in-to-it-body into a…into a what? I’m still not sure…into a body that likes to exercise? Prefers to have healthy food put in to it?

I’m gonna admit, it’s freakin me out a bit…you can’t spend a bunch of years as one way and then not freak out a bit when you realize you’re changing and becoming something else…what will I become? What colour crayons were taken out of the box that is me? Will I miss those colours? What if I need them back? Will I still be me? I mean, a Big Mac isn’t a Big Mac without the special sauce right? So whatever it is that is changing in me, will I still be me even though something is missing/changed?

Guess I’ll find out…

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A Day Of Thwartation

25 Mar

Ok, so sure, technically ‘thwartation’ isn’t a word, ya know, in the dictionary sense of what is a word but hey, I make up words all the time so going by my rules, if I use the word then it is a word…and who wants to only use words that are technically words, that’d be so boring! 😛

I’m not a huge going out drinking partying type of girl, I go out, don’t get me wrong, I have fun with friends and do my thang but that doesn’t usually include hitting up nightclubs every weekend in a month…that is for when you are in your late teens early twenties, somewhere around 25 I figured out I wasn’t having as much fun as I used to and I moved away from that being my regular social scene. You’d never know that though judging by this month! Last weekend was St. Patrick’s Day so I was out partying for that, took a whole day and a half to properly recover lol. Then this past Friday I was out doing the hotel party and bar scene in honour of a friend’s birthday, didn’t need quite as much time to recover from that one, phew! 😉 Aaaand next weekend I am going to my roomie’s berlesque show and I am fairly certain after the show we will all be hitting up a bar or two to celebrate her awesomeness.  Can I say how much this is screwing up my eating plan?!?! Oy!

Not only is it messing up my eating plan but this weekends festivities also messed up my gym time, and that I am just not happy with!

On Friday I was s’posed to workout with NC but plans changed and we ran out of time so we ended up seeing The Hunger Games and then he had to go to work and I had to go get ready to go out. I ate a whopping half an apple that day, pathetic huh? I know a lot of girls that when going out somewhere in the evening that requires dressing up they will severely limit their food intake that day to ensure they look good in their outfit that night, come on, admit it, you do it to don’t cha? I know I sure as hell do, I’ve been doing that since high school lol. Well, I mentioned to NC on Friday I was thinking of not eating that day to compensate for the calories I’d be taking in that night in the form of alcohol…apparently that is one of the dumbest things he’s ever heard me say…he needs to hang around me more often cause I’m sure I say way dumber things on almost a daily basis 😉 lol He says you should still eat normally even if you know you’re going to be eating or drinking something not good for you eating plan wise cause it’s not just about calories per day, you have to look at it on a weekly basis…I will admit, I’m having lotsa trouble with that, I keep looking at my food on a daily basis, hmmm, something to work on I guess, sigh.

Anyways, sure there are a lot of calories in alcohol but there is no good stuff in there, so yeah, sure, drink a beer, get your 148 calories (if it’s a Corona) but where are your proteins? Carbs? Healthy fats? Where’s all the nutrients and vitamins and all that other stuff that your body needs to function and stay healthy? Sure as shit it’s not in that beer you just downed. So it’s better to eat your food that day and have the beer on top of that instead of skipping your food and just drinking the beer. Cause sure, if you eat and drink the beers you’re gonna go over your calories but at least you haven’t skipped meals and impaired your body’s ability to metabolize, repair itself, lose weight, build muscle and blah blah blah. That’s where the weekly view point comes in to play. You need your macronutrient levels for the week to be good, not just your calories for the day. Make sense? Kinda? Take your time to wrap your head around it, I’m still working on it. lol.

So Friday I grabbed a sandwich from Tim Horton’s on my way home to get ready to go out, had to inhale the stupid (and yet oh so yummy) thing cause I was running way late, oops! Even though a sandwich isn’t the healthiest and closest to my eating plan meal I could have had it was the best I could manage since I didn’t have time to cook. This means that Friday, I ate half an apple, one Timmy’s sandwich, and ok fine, I’ll admit it, one Timmy’s maple cookie (so sue me, maple flavour is in right now and it’s my fave and I was freakin starving!), then I went out and drank. 😛  Not as much as I could have, or even wanted to cause I wanted to make sure I was sobered up by the end of the night so I could drive home, damn having to be responsible! 😉 The night started and ended at the hotel so while everyone was back at the hotel after the club getting even more wasted I was drinking pop and eating a couple slices of pizza and doing my best to sober up, which I did quite well thank you very much. 😛 lol The pizza however, didn’t help my calories for the day or my macronutrients for the week I am sure! But holy crap was it tasteeeeeee. Mmm!

Then Saturday I slept in, shocking huh? In my defence i didn’t get to bed till like 6am so sleeping in was really just getting me my normal amount of sleep…that’s my story an I’m sticking to it! lol. I had plans for that night so I had to get my butt in gear, I went and did some errands, walking instead of driving, so I could get some air and some movement since I’d been out of it for so long that day I didn’t hit up the gym. I however did manage to, get this, brace yourself…eat…healthy! When hungover! That is a minor miracle if ever there was one! lol. For me, the day after drinking is like a day out of life, I eat whatever I want (which is usually not a lot of food but it will be something way bad for me) and I do almost nothing physically, I kinda baby my body. Well on Saturday, instead of eating bad for me stuff I ate my half a chicken breast with a half a potato, and my yummy protein shake (uh, not in that order) and drank water instead of pop. I was so proud! Felt a little strange, but a good strange, ya know? Then that night I was at the Keg with JB and we split some nachos and I got a bellini so um, oops? I also didn’t get any exercise that day, except for my walking, cause of my whole recovering and feeling like crap for a good chunk of the day thing. I was sorta ok with this though cause Sunday is my normal day off from the gym but I was gonna hit it up to make up for not going Friday or Saturday and that would mean I really only missed one day last week and I’d feel not soooo bad about that. 🙂

It was a decent plan, right? I sure think it was but um, yeah, totally didn’t happen. I slept in on Sunday, *rolls eyes* you’re seriously not used to that yet? lol And when I got to the gym they had closed, I got there 5 minutes after they closed! Ack! Soooooo annoying! I’d of preferred if they had closed way earlier instead of me just missing it, sigh. So thwarted for exercising, damn! Well, I also had to go to the docs so off I went there and they had a sign saying that due to government regulations about how many patients a doc can see in a day the doc can’t see anymore patients today cause they’d reached their max. Uh, What??? The doc’s office didn’t close for another 5 hours but they weren’t taking any more patients? Who came up with that system? Lame! Thwarted again!

Seriously, a day of thwartation, ugh. On the heels of two days of eating not horrendously but not properly and with no exercising…Crap! And tomorrow is weigh in day…*bangs head against wall* I was doing so well during the week but this weekend totally undid all that work…the scale tomorrow is gonna suck! …and the gym probably will too after being away for three days *groans* Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it! lol 😛

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