Tag Archives: diet

Carbs and Chocolate

18 Mar

All I have wanted this entire week is carbs and chocolate – and lemme tell ya, it’s been hard to resist the wanting…most of the time I haven’t resisted, I caved…no, not just caved, I jumped off the diving board marked willpower and cannon balled into a pool of liquid chocolate that had bread pieces for dipping. YUM! 😀 lol

I keep dipping a spoon in to my jar of Nutella and not writing it down in my tracker – after all, a little spoonful of Nutella doesn’t count right? HA! Maybe not that first spoonful but the multiple spoonfuls since then sure do add up! 😛

Part of me feels badly about my eating this week, I’ve been eating all kinds of bad-for-me foods and I am definitely scared for weigh in day tomorrow – oh man, that scale is gonna show such a not good number, I can feel it! Even though I feel a bit bad I don’t feel as crappy as one would expect – I think it’s cause it’s been such a shitty week and those various foods I ate are the only things that kept me sane.

What can I say – certain foods are classified “comfort foods” for a reason.

Monday: crap news at work about work – I had a personal sized pizza and dessert bread sticks for dinner.

Thursday: guy at work made a comment that made me feel  like I weigh 1000 lbs, I drank a small milkshake and over the course of the day ate 5 pancakes, 3 of which had nutella spread on them.

I baked cookies last Sunday and ate some everyday until they were completely gone, I believe the last day they were around was Tuesday – so that’s 3 days of eating cookies.

Friday (today): ate over my points deliberately cause I neeeeeded chocolate and couldn’t find a way to not eat it (admittedly, I didn’t try very hard to find a way to not eat it…hormones ya know?)

So, hmm, looking back, bad week? Yes! As bad as I feel it was? Oddly enough, No. Go fig. I thought I overate everyday and it looks like I didn’t, which is good, but the pizza and dessert breadsticks put me so far in to my flex points on Monday that really, I should have been uber careful the rest of the week to ensure I didn’t use all my flex points for the week. But yeah, I didn’t. Instead I was ruled by hormones and emotions and ate my feelings…

I used to do that a lot more often, eat my feelings I mean. If a day was good -celebrate with food. If a day was bad – make myself feel better with food. No matter what happened in a day I could find some “reason” to over eat or eat something that was really bad for me (usually fast food, oh how I miss McD’s lol) I have been trying to stop doing that but some days (weeks) I totally fall back in to the habit.

Also, I find if I have a day where I cave and eat something I shouldn’t (say, a cookie or pancakes with nutella on them) then the next day it’s even harder to not eat something on par with that treat. Like, I did it yesterday and didn’t combust so why can’t I eat it again today? I know in my head why I can’t treat myself like that everyday – long term I’d gain all my weight back, but in the moment it can be really hard to remember that.

So yeah, the week has sucked – on a personal front, a work front and a food front. 😦 Luckily, the week is over and I am fully expecting next week to be better – not cause I have some inside knowledge about next week, I am expecting it to be better because well, cause I say it will be! lol So there! 🙂

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aaaand the self esteem plummets

17 Mar

Guys suck, throw rocks at ’em. Some days that quote is just perfect.

It’s been a crappy week – work stuff, acting stuff, pmsing like crazy – I’m surprised I haven’t beaten someone…or eaten an entire tub of nutella (which let me tell ya, still a possibility!)

Today is St. Patrick’s Day (duh!) so a day of fun and green. 😀

Every year McDonald’s for this one day only makes a Shamrock Shake – a mint green milkshake! YUM! I decided that since the milkshake is only made one day out of the year it would be ok for me to get one (size small of course) so some friends at work and I went at lunch time. So no biggy right? One small milkshake isn’t gonna kill me or anything but when I was standing at a friend’s desk waiting for her to get her coat on one of the guys heard where we were going, looked right at me and in front of the entire frickin office said nice n loud “you’re getting a milkshake? aren’t you supposed to be on a diet?”. That might seem like not so bad of a question but it was the tone he said it in…totally made me feel like I am 1000 lbs and shouldn’t ever even think about getting a milkshake let alone actually drinking it. 😦  And to make it worse the entire office went silent and stared at him then at me with looks on their faces like “wtf??”

My first instinct was to go over and punch him, which would’ve gotten me fired, sigh, so instead I walked off in the other direction. I ended up kicking a wall and thank goodness my boot protected my foot!

If it hadn’t been for my friends telling me to ignore him and to still go to McD’s I so would have just gone and sat down and eaten my soup. I hate that something stupid someone said could make me feel so down about my weight. The whole rest of the day I just kept thinking all kinds of negative things about my weight. grr. No one should have that kind of power over someone else and yet…obviously heartless stupid comments do have a strong impact on me, as evidenced by today.

So it’s yet one more crappy day – this week blows. I can’t wait for it to be over, although, I am terrified for weigh in day. eek. This week I have eaten pizza, dessert breadsticks and a milkshake…not good! Too many cheats in one week. I’ve gotta tighten up the reins and be more careful or I’ll lose ground – and that would suck even more then mean comments from stupid guys at work!

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Eating a cookie is a chore?? That’s so wrong!

30 Jun

I am having trouble using all my Weight Watchers points, who’d of thunk it? lol.

Before I was on Weight Watchers I would eat dinner (most days anyways) and after my huge dinner I would have a cup of tea and about a half hour or so after that a dessert of some kind. Not anything extravagant just some cookies or a package of Pocky maybe…whatever I happened to have around that was a little sweet. It was a little treat I really enjoyed. Well, the past couple days I have dinner, I have my tea, and then I am done…I don’t want anything else. No desire for a little sweet something, no hunger pangs making me want anything…nuthin! I still eat something – I mean, I kinda hafta since I have points left but I don’t really want anything. shrug. Weird. 😛

Last night I got busy with other things and didn’t remember till right before I was going to bed I still had 5 points left…5 Points!! That’s a lot, I can justify not eating 1 point…maybe 2 but not 5! I had to actually force myself to eat my cookies and drink my milk, ugh. If I could have gotten away with eating something a lot lighter I would have but everything lighter (ex. fruit) is too low in points and I’d have to eat way more of it to use up those stupid 5 points. Lame.

I can’t believe I actually had to force myself to eat a cookie…who does that?! Cookies are enjoyable, yummy, full of flavour and just bad enough for you that you automatically want more…and I had to practically choke them down. So so so wrong. *shakes head*

Today I ate a higher in points lunch cause I was going out after work and wasn’t sure when I would get to eat dinner; also, being all proactive an all I ate a yogurt right before I left work and cut up an apple to take with me so if I needed something to snack on while out I had food all ready for eating and wouldn’t be tempted to buy something at the food court. This whole planning ahead thing kinda rocks, not saying I will do it all the time but this time it paid off! The yogurt held me over till I was on my way home and I ate the apple while driving home thereby not stopping at any of the numerous fast food places I passed. Also, when I got home I didn’t dive in to the kitchen and make whatever the first thing I saw was and snack away on things the whole time the food was cooking. I was controlled enough to calculate my remaining points for the day and figure out the best dinner to have that would use my points. Creepy! 😛

I also found the best 1 point weight watchers snacks; they are from Safeway and come in bags with I am not sure how many pieces in it. They are little 1 point, 1 or 2 bite (depending on the size of your mouth, lol) chocolates etc. Basically really miniature chocolate bars. Todays was Coconut covered in Milk Chocolate, like a Bounty Bar…I fully savoured it, lol, made it last 4 whole bites and it was goooood! You can find a site about them at www.russellstover.com , I haven’t really checked out the site all that much but a quick glance shows they have way more variety then I had realized. I will have to keep an eye out for more.

one point per piece

So here is what I ate today:

3/4 cup Almond Special K = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

3/4 of a cup Brown Sugar and Bacon Baked Beans = 4.5 points

1 piece of toast = 2 points

1 cup cherries = 1 point

1 Activia Yogurt = 2 points

1 apple = 1 point

1/2 serving whole wheat pasta = 2.5 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

1/4 cup alfredo sauce = 2 points

2 triangles Laughing Cow Light Cheese = 1 point

1 peach = 1 point

1 Whitman’s Weight Watchers Chocolate = 1 point

Used all 23 points and ate them early enough I don’t feel full and icky before going to bed. Yah! 🙂 Oh, and in keeping with the proactive thing I made a second batch of dinner and have it in the fridge ready for tomorrows lunch. Awesome! Hmmm, it’s a little sad I get so excited about that…lol

I have also decided to not list my drinks in my food list unless they cost me points; there isn’t really a point to listing my tea and water when they don’t count for anything. Doesn’t mean I am not drinking though!

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