Tag Archives: points

Twice In One Day??

8 Jun

My poor abused body – all my leg muscles are shaking mildly and the mere thought of getting up off the couch to go get a fresh cup of tea makes me whimper. lol. Today I did the unknown – I exercised…Twice! Two times in one day! I don’t know if hell has frozen over or if it was a miracle but I somehow managed to get my lazy arse off the couch and moving on 2 seperate occaisions today. *groan* I have a feeling I am so gonna be hurting tomorrow…but hey, who cares? That’s tomorrow! lol

I had wanted to do this crazy exercise-twice-in-one-day-thing on Monday but it didn’t work out so instead my first try at this was today. Freakishly enough, I just may do this again…maybe…we’ll see how I feel tomorrow lol.

I brought my mom and dad with me when I went hiking today, by this I mean my mom called me right as I was lacing up my runners and if I didn’t go hiking right at that specific time I wouldn’t be able to do it at all so I took my phone with me – something I never do! My hiking time is “my time”, I listen to my iPod, cringe whenever I come in to contact with nature, and basically take the time to focus on me, shrug. Somedays there isn’t much to focus on, lol, so I just enjoy the music, but some days you need some time to sort things out in your head, plan something that is coming up, figure out how you are gonna deal with something or say/write something. shrug. But yeah, so my poor parents had to hear me huffing and puffing while we were talking, it probably sounded like I was hiking to my death lol.

But I survived and had a yummy meal of salmon, mashed yam and mixed veggies while resting and reminding myself I wanted to exercise twice in one day, it was a goal, it would not kill me – probably. πŸ˜‰

On my way to Boxerfit I stopped and picked up the parcel my cousin sent me from England, that boy, he’s so awesome! I got a box of Bristows Clotted Cream Fudge, a chocolate bar that is currently in the fridge (and if you think I’m getting up to read the name of it and pissing off my muscles you got another thing comin! lol) and a pair of socks with the Union Jack. The fudge has a picture of Will and Kate because it is a commemorate box of fudge for the wedding πŸ™‚ I love it!

I had to leave earlier then normal for boxerfit because of having to make it to the post office before it closed so once I got to the gym I had about 45 minutes to kill which was perfect cause I had taken the sides for the second scene I want to do for my demo reel and I worked on the lines while waiting for 7pm to roll around. It’s nice to know you can practice your lines without someone overhearing you – at least for me, shrug.

I’m fairly certain the guy who runs the Boxerfit class is trying to kill me, well, not just me, all of us. lol. Todays class he had us doing these running drills, you run as fast as you can from spot A to spot B, at spot B you do 5 push ups, then you run back to A and do 5 full sit ups, then you run back to spot B and do 5 squats, then you run back to spot A and do 5 burpees. You’d think that was bad enough but then you had to do it all over again only do 4 of each, then again but 3 of everything…I’m sure you’ve figured out the pattern here…see what I mean about trying to kill us? *rolls eyes* He timed us and is gonna make us do it all over again in a month and apparently we will all haveΒ faster times…he’s nuts! This was on top of all our normal stuff so by the end of the class I was soaked in sweat, yeah I know, gross right? When I got in to my suv to drive home I really felt how wet my clothes were, ugh, I made sure to sit upright the whole drive home cause I didn’t want the sweat to soak in to the fabric of the seat. lol.

I have a job interview tomorrow morning for a law firm, can you get less artistic? lol. It’s at 10am which seems early to me cause I have been sleeping in almost everyday but I suppose it’s an ok time cause after that is done I will be running some errands and hopefully getting home by about 1pm – that’ll give me time to hike before meeting up with KL for our final Dragon Boat training session before the festival this weekend.

Oh what an active week this has been!

I have eaten 19 points today, and earned a crazy high number of exercise pointsΒ – 14 of them! A record for me. πŸ™‚ Sooo, since I have so many exercise points I am about to eat a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (2 points) which will have me eating a whopping 1 exercise point. Not so bad that! πŸ˜€

Tuesdays Are Now My Fave Day!

7 Jun

Wow, I loved today. πŸ˜€ I wish I could wake up tomorrow and it would be today again just so I could relive it! Extreme? Maybe. Do I care? Nope. lol.

It’s not like the day started off amazing or anything, I had to be up a bit earlier then normal cause I had a first stage job interview conducted over the phone. So there I was, up and fed reading a book when the call came through, it took a bit over an hour and I think it went well. shrug. I’m not all that excited about the job (aka, I don’t think I really want it but am going through with the interviewing process just because lol) but even though I don’t want the job doesn’t mean I wanted to totally tank the interview, it’s good to know that the interview went well. πŸ™‚

Then I hiked, did some free weights, ab work and stretching – I’m sure you’ll all be super duper excited to hear my sit ups are getting easier to accomplish, lol. That was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell, lol, it’s sometimes hard to tell when it’s in writing… I still can’t do a lot of them, weak core muscles, sigh, but I did 20 full sit ups and 20 angled ones (you know, the kind where you only go up as high as the bottom of your shoulder blades and angle so your right hand touches your left knee and your left hand to your right knee). I feel the angle ones more which I am surprised at but I struggle more with the full sit ups…oh, and did you know if you drink water before you start your sit ups you can hear the water jiggle around in your tummy each time you go up and down? It’s true, it’s happened to me 3 times in 4 days, lol.

After exercising, which while I hate exercising I have to admit itΒ does leave me feeling good about myself, arg, I ate a yummy meal which I’m not sure if I should classify it as late lunch or early dinner…I think early dinner. The reason I had to eat an early dinner? Acting Class! wOOt! πŸ˜€ I wanted to make sure I was fed early enough before class I wouldn’t be making any digesting noises during class, or feeling really full, but I couldn’t eat so early I’d get hungry in class…a fine line! lol.

Acting Class rocked! Totally, absolutely, 100% ROCKED! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Can you tell I’m excited? lol. This is why I love tuesdays – cause I have acting class. πŸ˜€

I worked on one of my scenes for my demo reel, I need two. I was worried about my choice of scene, I’m used to working on really deep/emotional/disturbing scenes, I love those scenes don’t get me wrong, I’m really good at them and there is such a sense of accomplishment when you finally get a hard scene nailed down but this scene is a comedy, more light hearted, and I was stressing it would be considered too, um, not flighty, uh…shallow? That’s the best word I can think of right now. Well, I was wrong, and soooo happy about that! How often isΒ a person happy they are wrong? lol

The scene went great, I got some awesome tips and suggestions from the teacher (who I totally trust about this), the feedback from the other students was helpful, and…I found out my eyes aren’t too big! πŸ˜€

Ok, I can see your faces now, the confused look, the “huh?” noise you’re quietly making, you don’t know what I look like so you don’t know what I am talking about. Lemme try to explain, my eyes are really big, you know how Julia Roberts has a huge smile that overshadows the rest of her face? That’s my eyes. shrug. I don’t mind too too much, I usually play up my eye makeup and downplay the lips and cheeks cause if I have a feature I might as well use it right? The only problem is that’s all people notice when they look at me, especially when they are seeing me on screen, I have been told by acting teachers in the past to never roll my eyes on camera, not blink so often…all kinds of stuff cause it draws too much attention to my eyes. Do you know how hard it is to control your blinking?? I finally got myself out of the habit of rolling my eyes on screen, now, none of the characters I ever play rolls their eyes which is a little sad imo but oh well.

So today, the teacher brought up my eyes, made a comment about them which opened the floodgates for all the other students and the comments went like this “I am always staring at your eyes”, “I can’t look away from your eyes” etc etc. Not negative comments but all the comments were about how large my eyes are, how that’s all they noticed, blah blah blah. lol. Not like I don’t like compliments but I don’t feel like these are compliments, I felt like they are warnings, red flags being waved! Ack, be careful it’s the girl with the too large of eyes! πŸ˜› I made a comment back about how my eyes are too large and mentioned how JB (the teacher from the past) gave me a list of rules about my eyes, like never rolling them, because the movement becomes too large on screen and RH (the current teachers) response was this: “Bull Shit! I call bull shit on JB!” πŸ˜€ How great was that?!?! *giggle* RH and all the other students agreed that my eyes aren’t too large, yes they draw attention but it’s just a matter of learning how to use my eyes and not let them take over the scene – that I can do! πŸ˜€

So, not only did I get some great help for my scene and am that much closer to being ready to film my demo reel I feel better about myself because some self consciousness I was feeling (and not really aware of) in regards to my eyes has been soothed. shrug. May seem silly, that all it took was one teacher and 4 students to all agree about my eyes not being too large to help me feel better but hey, I’mΒ a shallow creature and I get my self worth from others (in some ways, not all my self worth cause that’d just be crazeee! lol).

After getting home from class I found in the mail room a door hanging thingy for me saying I have a parcel waiting for me at the nearest Canada Post office, it’s from my cousin DA in England and I am psyched because it contains what will be super yummy junk food that I can’t get here. lol. Yeah, I know, junk food? I can’t eat that! But it’s English junk food, it’s special. πŸ˜‰

So, that’s my day, the day that I loved and wish I could repeat cause I loved it so much. Oh, and bonus, I earned 8 exercise points today and only ate in total 21 points, so, I only ate 1 exercise point. πŸ™‚ I love when I don’t eat them all. lol. I’m tired from my hike earlier, being up earlier then what I am used to, and the decline of my adrenaline (always happens after acting) so I am gonna go to bed which means I won’t even cave and eat something else thereby eating more of my exercise points. Score! πŸ˜€

Oh, fyi, I didn’t put my food list today because this post is long enough but I had a stuffed Ricotta and Spinach chicken breast for my early dinner from M&M’s Meat Shop that was freaky good and only 3 points. Yum! I’ll talk more food stuff tomorrow.

Boy, I sure hope Wednesday brings something awesome with it cause it’ll take a lot to surpass today. πŸ˜€

What Happened There??

4 Jun

Oh my, the scale was not my friend today, sigh. 😦 I wasn’t sure how I felt going in to my weigh in, normally I have a feeling for if I gained or lost but this week, shrug, nuthin. I knew that I had eaten well and used almost none of my flex points so that is great, I also knew that my plan to exercise 3 times during the week didn’t work out and I’d only exercised twice so not so great. I was hoping (obviously) to go down but wouldn’t of been too surprised if I stayed the same. Actually, that’s a lie, I would have been very surprised to stay the same cause I followed the eating rules this past week so even if my exercising was less often then I wanted theoretically I still should have lost something.

Apparently my thinking is flawed cause I went up by 1.2 pounds. Yup, up. Sucky or what??

I’m not sure what I did wrong…I went over my food journal to see if I screwed up somewhere and as far as I am concerned I did just fine. Sure I used some flex points on Thursday, and yeah ok I ate dinner at a friend’s house on Wednesday so am unable to calculate my points for that meal but I made sure before I went to eat lightly throughout the day so I’d have more points then normal left for dinner. Since dinner that night was a small piece of chicken and an eyeballed (by me) portion of pasta with a tomato based sauce, oh and salad, I didn’t think I did that badly…maybe it was worse then I thought? And sure I ate all my exercise points on Tuesday but hey, that’s allowed! sigh, and fine, I went out for dinner on Friday after Dragon Boating so I most likely ate all my exercise points then too…ok fine! So my week wasn’t as great as I like to think it was – damn tracking my food and exercise, sigh, makes it harder to lie to myself lol. πŸ˜›

I had planned a pure lazy day for today, it is Saturday after all, lol, but once I saw the scale that went out the window and I immediately got dressed for a hike. The scale scared me in to exercising! *rolls eyes*

You know those women that go exercising and they look perfect? Their hair is styled, their makeup is perfect, their clothes are properly fitted and nice looking and even though they are exercising they don’t seem to be sweating and they don’t go red in the face? Yeah…that’s so not me! When I went hiking I was wearing black too large for me exercise pants, a tshirt that was under a long sleeved high necked exercise jacket with my hair yanked back in a messy ponytail, no makeup, sunglasses, ear buds in place and my exposed skin (which is only my face, ears, part of my neck and my fingers from the middle knuckle down) coated in sunscreen. Not fashionable at all! lol.

I am more concerned with preventing sun exposure then with what I look like, lol, which normally doesn’t matter cause the hiking trail doesn’t usually have a lot of people on it when I am on it but it was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon so the whole city seemed to be using the trail today. lol. I really pushed myself and by the end my poor legs were hurting, which seems kinda poetic cause they now match the pain in my lower back and arms from Dragon Boating yesterday. Ah the pain of getting in shape! πŸ˜›

Today I ate:

1/2 bagel = 2.5 points

1/2 tbls whipped peanut butter = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

29 grams Special K = 2 points

1/2 C 1% milk = 1 point

2 C Campbell’s Rustic Spiced Lentil and Veg Soup = 4 points

2 dinner buns = 2 points

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 slice deli turkey, 1 tsp light miracle whip, 1 tsp mustard = 0 points

1 C mixed blueberries and raspberries = 1 point

1 nectarine = 1 point

1 small slush = 1 point

Total Points Eaten = 18 points

Exercise Points = 6 points

So I still have 2 of my normal daily points left and I earned 6 exercise points so I can eat some of them if I so choose. Which I will probably choose cause I am fairly hungry…I have been waiting all day to eat my serving of Junior Mints, they are like my all time fave candy!, yum! and I can have 40 grams of them (approx 16 pieces) for 3 points which normally doesn’t seem like a good deal but I exercised so I have the points space – and this is why I didn’t lose last week! Me and my wonky logic! lol

Ah well, if my logic lets me eat Junior Mints without feeling guilty, I’ll keep it. πŸ™‚

Not Epic Fail…But Definite Fail

2 Jun

I don’t know who I am more annoyed at, google map, my gps or myself… I suppose I have to be most annoyed at myself since I relied on the first two but who likes to be annoyed at themself?? πŸ˜›

I was all excited to go to Boxerfit class tonight, I was dressed a good 45 minutes before I had to leave and raring to go! How sick is that? Being excited to go have your ass kicked? lol. I think mostly I was excited to earn exercise points so I could eat some sort of treat this evening but hey, least I was wanting to go…

Well, google map said it was a 21 minute drive, ok that’s fine, I left 30 minutes before class started just to be on the safe side. So there was my first mistake, trusting google maps time estimate. Then my stoooopid gps took me quite possibly the worst route to get to the gym so I got stuck in massive traffic, had to take weird loopy roads instead of more direct roads and the route it chose took 45 minutes instead of the 20 google map promised me. Second mistake, trusting the gps to take me the fastest route. The third mistake was believing both pieces of technology would get me where I needed to go in time. sigh.

Guess who missed their Boxerfit class tonight because she was 15 minutes late? Yup. Me. 😦 sadness.

See, with the classes you are given a punch card that gets, well, punched (duh!) everytime you go. The first 20 minutes or so of class are super intense cardio. I didn’t want to use one of the punches on my card when I wasn’t going to get to enjoy (enjoy??) the entire class and miss the main chunk of cardio, it didn’t make sense to me. shrug.

The classes are held at three different gyms, they rotate, and this was my first time going to this location, now I know that next time I hit up this location I have to leave even earlier just in case.

My great plan to exercise at least three times this week has now gone out the window, oops! I hiked on Tuesday and was supposed to Boxerfit today and then tomorrow is Dragon Boating – it seemed like such a perfect plan…ah well, plans change. shrug. πŸ™‚ I might go for a hike tomorrow before Dragon Boating, I love the boating but it really only (only??) works the core and arms and I want more of a full body work out and since I will have the time I might as well hike – this is of course assuming the rain stops cause no matter how much I want to get in shape no way am I hiking in the rain – that’s soooo not my thing. lol.

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K = 2 points

1/2 c 1% milk = 1 point

1/2 bagel = 2.5 points

1/2 tbls whipped peanut butter = 1 point

1 banana =Β 1 point

1 apple = 1 point

1 pear = 1 point

4 pieces sushi = 2 points ?

2 c Butternut Squash and Red Pepper Soup =Β 4 points

2 dinner buns = 2 points

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 slice weight watchers fruit pie = 4 points

Total points eaten = 23.5

Ok, yeah, I went over, and I didn’t exercise and I know I shouldn’t go over but I’ve barely used any flex points this week and I really wanted that slice of pie! lol.

If I snack throughout the day (the healthy way) every three hours or so I never get super crazy hungry and am able to make healthy, smart food decisions. But today my timing was off so while I was driving back from my failed attempt at going to Boxerfit class I started feeling hungrier and hungrier, this city is full to overflowing with fast food joints, restaurants and shops. You wouldn’t believe how many places I drove past that had food that I so wanted to stop at cause I felt incredibly hungry and didn’t want to wait until I got home and got something cooked…when I am hungry the wait time for cooking something myself seems unbearably long and torturous. 😦

AfterΒ I ate my soup and dinner buns for dinner I still felt really hungry, hence my inability to save my slice of pie until tomorrow. shrug. I think though, going over 3.5 points isn’t gonna kill me…and a bunch of the food I ate today was healthy – the fruit, the soup, um, the milk in my cereal? lol. So at least some of my points were used for worthy foods. πŸ™‚

I’m going to go post the recipe for the weight watchers pie on my recipe pages – check it out, it’s super easy to make and way tasty. πŸ˜€

Yah for Today!

31 May

Today was a fairly great day. πŸ˜€

I stayed up last night until 2am for absolutely no good reason. lol. I am naturally a night owl, if I don’t have to get up at an ungodly hour of the morning to go to work I end up staying up super late cause, well, it’s what my natural sleep cycle prefers. shrug. I stay up late, I sleep in late, it works for me. πŸ™‚ Some people see sleeping in late as a waste of a good chunk of the day but I don’t – I think it’s un-natural to be up early in the morning, ugh. lol.

But anyways, I stayed up late then slept in until noon, aahhhhh, such a nice time! If you think about it, it’s not being lazy, I’m not getting anymore sleep during the nightΒ then someone who goes to bed earlier and wakes up earlier, I just like getting my sleep later in the night/day then others. lol. So, after waking up at noon I rolled over and dozed for another hour cause, well, I could. shrug.Β By 1pm I managed to get my butt outta bed, had a quick wash, ate a decently healthy breakfast, digested for a little bit then went hiking. It was my regular 3.8km hike so nothing out of the ordinary but it was a little weird going for a hike at 2 in the afternoon on a Tuesday…it’s amazing how many people are outΒ walking at that time…I mean, don’t these people have jobs? lol. πŸ˜›

After the hike I came home and did some free weights, some ab work, some stretching – all the normal stuff. Earned myself 6 exercise pointsΒ – wOOt! πŸ˜€

I had to spend a chunk of time on hold after that waiting to talk to someone who works for the government about my EI claim – it took for-frickin-ever but I eventually got a person (who was super friendly and knowledgable) and she helped me with my questions, she even went kinda over board and explained a whole bunch more stuff to me…things I had actually already read on the website but, shrug, she’s probably used to people who don’t fully read the site and ask all kinds of questions lol. I’m ok with the extra info, I think it’s better to be told the stuff you already know and possibly learn something you hadn’t already read then not be told anything and later find out you’re missing a vital piece of info. Just my take on it tho…

Then I did some acting research online, I needed to find some sides to take to my audition class tonight and then –Β the best part – I had my audition class!Β πŸ˜€ I haven’t had any kind of acting class in ages cause they are really expensive and I was always so busy with work I couldn’t go. I was signed up for this class (it’s actually a set of 4 classes) for a couple weeks now cause luckily they don’t start until 7pm, it seemed perfect because it would give me tonnes of time after work to get home, eat and get to the class – now I have even more time to getΒ there lol.

The class went so amazingly super great! I obviously need to expand on my descriptive words lol. I gotΒ wicked good feedback, looks like even though I have been away from classes for a loooong time I haven’t lost my touch, sweeeeeeet!Β πŸ˜€ It’s a small class, 6 students and 1 person auditing so we all got a lot of one on one time with RH (the teacher), he is a greatΒ teacher, a really positive, supportive, friendly, non stress inducing guy. Auditioning is a way stressful thing, it’s harder then being on set and actually filming and some auditioning teachers make even the class stressful but RH makes it fun. And how great is it learning new things, perfecting your technique, re-enforcing what you already know all while having fun?Β πŸ™‚ Man I love acting. πŸ˜€

Because of exercising and having earned exercise points I was way below my points for the day by the time class was over (class ended at 10pm) so when I got home I was starved. lol. I made what would normally be a meal – a bagel sandwich, yum! – and then followed it up with dessert. Double yum!

Today I ate:

29 grams Special K = 2 points

1/2 c 1% milk = 1 point

2 pcs toast = 1 point

1 tbls whipped peanut butter = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt cup = 2 points

1 banana = 1 point

2 serv hash browns = 2 points

1 scrambled egg = 2 points

1 turkey burger patty = 3 points

1 bagel = 5 points

2 slices deli turkey = 0 points

1 tbls light cream cheese = 1 point

baby spinach, tomato = 0 points

1 thinsations Oreo cakesters = 2 points

1 Skinny Cow Choc Fudge Brownie ice cream = 2 points

Total points eaten = 20 daily points, 6 exercise points

Exercise points earned = 6

Perfect! πŸ˜€

Now I know, I should of had some fruit for my evening snack after my bagel sandwich instead of the oreo cakesters and the ice cream, and I almost did…but, well, in the end I didn’t lol. Not sure why, I wasn’t craving chocolate or anything sweet like some other days, shrug, I just grabbed the processed sweet stuff instead of the fruit. lol.

So now it’s 1:15am and I am tired, the exercising and the energy output acting takes have taken a bit of a toll on me and I want to go to bed but I’m tired enough I am typing slower then normal and I feel like I am never gonna get there. lol. *yawn* I have to get up a bit earlier tomorrow then today cause I have to bake a pie to take to a dinner I got invited to tomorrow evening – the pie needs to cool forΒ 2 hours min before serving so I need to make it earlier rather then later in the day. It’s a weight watchers recipe so I will post it under my recipes tab tomorrow so you can try it, it’s really tasty and I think only 4 points per slice so not bad at all! πŸ™‚

Oh! Sorry, one more thing! The teacher, RH, was my teacher back in the day but I haven’t seen him since 2008, well, he took one look at me and was all “you look different, really different, what did you do?”, I could practically see the wheels turning in his head, lol, so I told him I lost 32 pounds and he was so amazed/excited/happy for me, lol, it was sweet having someone who hasn’t seen me in a long time notice asap something changed – sure he didn’t peg it as weight loss but that’s ok, I’m just happy he noticed a change at all. lol.

I Caved

30 May

I caved, but not food wise, so no worries! πŸ™‚ Remember yesterday when I said how I lost my next food tracker, well, not lost but “put away somewhere safe” and was unable to locate? Yeah, still unable to locate it and it was driving me nuts – not the lost part but the not being able to write down what I had eaten and having to tally numbers in my head part. I don’t trust my brain to be able to keep accurate track of what I eat and how many points the food is worth so while not having a specific book to keep track of my food in may seem like a stupid little thing it was actually causing me a bit of stress and worry about screwing up not only today but throughout the week.

Sooooo, I caved, and when I was out today I bought some new little notebooks. They came in a set of 4, are a variety of colours and are made of bamboo…yeah, bamboo, which I believe makes them more eco-friendly but I can’t swear to that. I suppose I could google it but, shrug, I’m not that bothered about it lol. I always try to pick notebooks that are fun colours or patterns on the front because who are we kidding? Writing foods that we have eaten and what the points for those foods are is not the most fun thing in the world, and frankly, the pages of the book can be slightly depressing when over-eating happens and weight maintains or goes up, so at least the front is always entertaining in some way. πŸ˜›

My day was not just buying little notebooks, how boring would that be?! I had a job interview this afternoon which I totally rocked but now I have a dilemna about that. sigh.

The interview was for a placement agency, I figured they’d like me, and it’d take them a couple weeks or so to find me a job so that’d give me lots of time to work on my acting stuff but they loved me and have a brand new job placement that they think I’d be perfect for and are going to talk to the contact at the company tomorrow afternoon about me and my apparent greatness. *rolls eyes* I mean yeah, that’s awesome right? Who gets such a great result from their first interview when they start job hunting? Nobody! You’re not supposed to get such a good result until at least the third interview you go on, it’s like an unwritten rule but I guess these people don’t know about that rule lol.

I am not ungrateful for this result, don’t think that, I understand that good paying jobs are hard to find and it’s great that this agency thinks so highly of me but…I’m not meant to live my working life in an office, the idea of it is so depressing…no offence to those of you in offices.

I am meant to act – this is the only thing about myself I know with absolute certainty. I don’t believe that whole “everyone has one thing they are great at and are meant to do” because if you believe that and then look at society, well, think of all those millions of people who are not doing the thing they are apparently meant to do. Or are people meant to be spending their lives working in offices? sitting in cubicles? being micro managed by people who got upper management jobs by being excellent ass kissers? always working in retail? picking up garbage? what about all those peope who accidentally end up in a career path and stick with it because it pays well enough and they don’t think they’ll get something better? how is that finding the thing you are meant to do?

Now, I am not trying to offend any people who do any of those jobs I mentioned above, I know lots of people who work in offices etc and are perfectly happy with their jobs/careers but that’s just not for me, I am not happy with my life if a good portion of it is spent working at a job that is not acting. Sounds over dramatic huh? shrug. I don’t think with most aspects of life I am over dramatic, and in this instance I don’t feel like I am being over dramatic, just truthful to who I am. But to others it probably sounds over dramatic, ah well. lol.

But yeah, so back to the acting, that is what I am meant to do – it is just unfortunate that many (take that to mean all) agents first look at your body size/shape and then look at your face and then look at your talent. *shakes head* I understand why, but I still think it is a screwy system where your talent and ability to act is the last thing looked at. I have managed to lose enough weight that I can finally go agent hunting again (I had an agent but she went mia and really, she wasn’t good anyways so no big loss but I need a new one now, sigh) but in order to agent hunt you need a list of things already taken care of.Β  One of those things in a Demo Reel, this is a 6 minute video of 2 seperate scenes, each scene is approx 3 minutes where you can showcase your acting ability. This lets the agent see how you look on camera, how well you act, it helps them to see what kind of auditions they might send you out for. While your headshot will get you in the door the demo reel is what will keep them from booting you back out again – you need a kick ass totally up to date amazing demo reel.

These things don’t come cheap and they need a lot of prep time, the time to work on my demo reel was sorely lacking while I was working full time so I have managed to get excited about being unemployed because it would give me a couple of weeks to get my scenes sorted, work on them, get them filmed and have my demo reel. Then I was going to use the rest of my out-of-work time to do the actual agent hunting part and go to what I am hoping will be a plentifull amount of agent interviews. lol.

But now I had this great interview and I am worried the agency will contact me sooner then what I want telling me they got me a job – a fairly great job if you’re not me and wanting to earn your living acting…

For all my craziness I have a strong streak of practicality (I blame it on being a Capricorn and my parents raising me to be responsible lol) So, if they contact me with a job I don’t know that I will be able to say no because I know that I need a steady income to pay my bills etc but if I take another full time job so soon how will I ever get my demo reel done and be able to get a new agent???

Do you see the dilemna? Do I hope for the job or do I hope for not getting the job? I want the job so I have money coming in, I don’t want the job because I want the time I need to focus on my acting. Ack!

I think at this point the only thing I can do is not think about it…I will wait and see what happens and while waiting to see what happens I will work hard to memorize lines and work on my character and book my time slot to film the demo reel and I’ll cross my fingers that nothing gets in the way of my acting…

Sorry this post had next to nothing about weight loss, a quick fyi, I ate my 20 points and only my 20 points today, yah, didn’t exercise even a tiny bit, oops, lol, didn’t eat anything new or exciting so don’t feel jipped I’m not putting a food list today, I’ll get back to my normal formatting tomorrow. πŸ™‚

In A “Safe Place”

29 May

Today I ate:

2 servings Special K = 4 points

1/2 C 1% milk = 1 point

2 pcs toast = 1 point

1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

smidgen of honey = 0 points

1 banana = 1 point

2 servings hash browns = 2 points

2 open faced sandwiches

– 2 pcs bread = 1 point

– 2 cheese slices = 2 points

– baby spinach, mustard = 0 points

– 2 slices turkey = 0 points

1 Skinny Cow caramel swirl ice cream = 2 points

1 mango = 1 point

1/2 C strawberries = 0.5 points

Total points eaten = 17.5

phew! Not done for the day yet, lol.

For my food tracker I use a small flip open pocket sized coil notebook, I’m not sure I described that very well, think of a tv cops notebook that fits in their shirt pocket, how it flips open at the top not the side, but mine is coiled at the top and is the mead brand. Know it? So, last time I bought my little notebook they were sold in a pack of three which was great, well, I just finished the second book and my third one is being used to track my weight so I can’t use that one for my next tracker.

I didn’t buy a new one when I was out and about today cause about a month ago I was organizing my closet and found an oddly large amount of small coil notebooks, not the same brand but who cares about that? I put them in a “safe place” so I could grab one when I next needed one. ha!

In my family, when you have put something away and then can’t find it, that is when we say the item is in a “safe place” – aka, lost. πŸ˜› I always seem to have something in a safe place, lol, it really sucks that my future tracker is what is now in the safe place cause I spent the whole day trying to tally my points in my head and freaking out I had messed up the numbers or had forgotten a food, eesh. I’m glad I didn’t go over but now it is almost 11 pm and I have points left over (which I’m kinda glad of cause I am hungry) but I don’t like to eat so late, oh sigh. lol.

I don’t want to buy a new notebook cause you know as soon as I do I will find the ones I put away but I don’t even have an idea of where to look for them since I was oh so sure I knew where they were. *rolls eyes*

Ah well, I will do a more in depth hunt for them tomorrow when I get home from my job interview, for now I think I will go hunt up some sort of snack – I have no idea what it is going to be but I know it’s going to be 2.5 points, well ok, 3 points max, ooooh, maybe the crumpets with honey on top, yum! πŸ™‚

Towed or Stolen??

26 May

sonofamotherfuckingbitch! if that wasn’t warning enough this post will most likely be chock full of “colourful language” and is for the most part a rant.

It was an alright day at work – lunch was awesome, and not as many points as I expected so yah there! lol. The jerk was who is responsible for me being laid off was in the office still so I was stuck listening to him yammer his way through the day – he’s so annoying. How do such jerk wad dumbass people get the top jobs? *rolls eyes* I cleaned out my desk which was slightly depressing – I like to work in a fun environment so I have little knickknacks on my desk so I have things there I like to look at and little toys to play with. Well, I had to pack them all up today and now my desk is big and empty (except for the comp and phone), blah! Even though I had fun at lunch and liked getting to hang with my work friends it’s weird and uncomfie being there and kind of exhausting so by the end of the day all I could think was “I wanna go home”Β  the thought was in a whiny little kids voice in my head lol.

I got off the train, walked to where my suv is parked and…empty…as in my suv was not there…just gone, missing, Disappeared!! Stolen or towed? How the hell am I supposed to know?Β I didn’t even know who to call! I just stood there, with my head tilted to the right, blank look on my face, staring at where my suv was supposed to be…quietly plotting some unknown person’s demise…

I eventually called information and they put me through to the city impound number which had a messaging system kick in informing me they were closedΒ – I had missed them by 4 minutes. Freakin awesome timing! I glowered my way through the bus ride home and stalked from the bus stop to my door front all the while wondering who I could kill or at least maim and having no release for all the pent up anger/concern/stress I was feeling. I mean really? Like the past 2 weeks haven’t been crap-fantastic enough? Now I get a missing vehicle?

The universe is kicking my ass. Grr.

I started googling and eventually found my suv in an impound lot that is open 24/7 so I waited till my laundry was at a good spot to leave it, called a cab and got my ass over to the impound lot Luckily it isn’t too far from me.

Buddy at the counter gives me my ticket which is the carbon copy so hard to read, I believe it says I broke bylaw 2849 No parking except in accordance to sign. It lies. I was so not breaking any stupid bylaws by where I was parking – I have been parking there on an almost daily basis for over 2 fucken years!!! 2 Years! Bastards. It’s pretty much the same group of people parking there daily and they took every vehicle, I saw most of them at the impound lot so I guess I was the first person to pick up their vehicle.

I had to pay $94.25 to get my suv back, almost $100 to reclaim something that shouldn’t have been taken! They couldn’t help me with the parking ticket because they are just the towing company so I have to go online and fill out a complaint form if I want to dispute the ticket, which of course I do but get this! If I pay before 14 days from the ticket being issued the fine is $100, if I pay after 35 days I have to pay $150 – I’m not sure what I pay between the 14th day and the 35th??? However, if I dispute the ticket and fail I then have to pay a $25 admin fee…so I could potentially be paying $175 – for something I didn’t do! Since the department that issued the ticket is the department deciding if I am right or not I highly doubt they will side in my favour, corrupt bastards, but damn straight I am gonna fight! Grr!

So shall we tally this? I had to pay:

$25 cab fare to get to the impound lot, $94.25 to get my suv out of the impound lot and will possibly have to pay up to $175 for the fine. F*&@#$)@*!&#@)$)&$^?^%!&!Β  I’m trying to be nice and not swear…

To top it off, they damaged my suv, scratched the paint on the passenger back corner all to shit! Guess I’m back to swearing…

Before I left the impound lot I walked around my suv just in case, I am so glad I did! The scratches are pretty bad. Grr. I went back in and asked what I do when they damaged my vehicle, I then got the joy of filling out a damages claim form that I got a copy of, and their copy will be given to the Damages Manager and I will hear back in 3-5 business days. Apparently the manager will look at some video and from that will see if the scratch is new or not (huh???) – oddly enough I don’t trust them (weird right? lol) so I went and took pictures of the damage, you can see the paint curled at the end of the scratch marks becasuse the scratches are so fresh. Bastards.

You are probably wondering how in the hell any of this relates to my healthy eating plan – it relates because it screwed it all to shit. sigh.

I ate well during the day, sure my points for lunch were slightly estimated but I feel confident they are right so I got to dinner time with 8 points left – plenty for the soup I was planning on eating but…yup, the big but! I was so pissed off when I got home (and depressed) while my soup was warming and I was googling to find my suv I ate 2 spoonfuls of nutella, *rolls eyes* oh yeah, and a cookie…I then ate my dinner, so soup with 2 crumpets that had honey on it –Β  that would of been ok, I could have survived that, actually, now that I do the math even with the nutella that would have been my 8 points, so, well, shit, why the fuck couldn’t I have just stayed there??? No wait! the cookie! I forgot to tally in the cookie, so 10 points meaning I would have used 2 flex points, so still not the end of the world right? Like I left it there! pfft.

After getting my suv back I was steaming over the cost and the damages and got turned around when driving home, I somehow ended up at Tim Horton’s where I got a small (made with milk not cream) iced cap flavoured with chocolate mint (I am not sure if the flavour shot adds points or not, I have never gotten one before) aaaaaand a toasted coconut donut. *hangs head in shame* Yes, that’s right, 2 donuts 2 days in a row…way to just round off a perfect day huh? Not only am I poorer and pissed off I am also getting fatter as I type due to what I ate today. Just grrrrreat.

As you can tell I am in a pissed off not thinking clearly mood and everything is horrible and end of the world unforgivable never gonna get better grr-ness. A small vaguely rational part of me knows things will (hopefully!) get better and that things could be a lot worse and that even if I go up on weigh in day this week I will do better next week and fix it but that doesn’t help me now, not when I am feeling down and moody and pissed and I have nothing to take any of these emotions out on. Man, I can’t wait for dragon boating tomorrow, I’m gonna be putting so much effort in to my rowing my muscles are gonna sing…well, probably cry if we’re being honest lol.

It Starts.

25 May

The office I work in revolves in so many ways around food. Every meeting has food brought in, people are always bringing snacks and treats for those in the office to nibble on, when people come visit (brokers, insurance peeps etc) they always bring food to treat/bribe us with. lol. It’s just the way the office works, shrug, I was part of it in that I would bring in baked goods fairly often – hey, I like to bake but don’t want to eat it so I got my co-workers to. teehee. πŸ™‚

Well, I should have expected that people would start bringing in food the closer and closer it got to my last day. It started today. Donuts. Oh my. DS brought in Tim Horton’s donuts and muffins for everyone, she doesn’t work from the office thurs and fri so this was her last time seeing me and she brought them so we could all “drown our sorrow” – direct quote!

It’s so thoughtful of her, and I highly appreciate the meaning behind it but…well…crap! I would have felt like a jerk not eating one since she brought them in due to me but like I really needed the calories? *shakes head*

You might think the healthier option would have been to pick one of the muffins but nope, they are worse then some of the donuts, lol, scary huh? I chose a Boston Cream donut cause they are omg delish and I know by heart how many points they are. lol. 5. πŸ™‚ So, horribly high number for a snack that I didn’t really need but oh well. I was undecided as to what I should do (1) eat the donut and then be super careful with dinner so as not to go in to my flex points or (2) eat the donut and count the 5 points from the donut as flex points…notice neither option is don’t eat the donut? teehee

Today I ate:

1 apple = 1 point

1 pear = 1 point

1 banana = 1 point

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 Mediteranean Veg and Pasta soup = 4 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 boston cream donut = 5 points

1 cup hot cocoa = 3 point

– 1 tbls cocoa (0), 2 tbls white sugar (1), 1 cup 1% milk (2)

2 dinner buns = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 light babybell = 1 point

1 thinsations Ritz pckg = 2 points

Total points eaten = 25

Soooo, obviously I ended up putting the donut in to flex points. I’m not sure this is the wisest decision since I went over yesterday, and the day before, and am going for lunch tomorrow and there is some sort of secret-I’m-not-supposed-to-know-the-details potluck at work friday as a good bye thing. Sure I exercised yesterday but it’s pouring rain today so no hike, sad, and yes I will be dragon boating friday but that’ll prob not counteract the food from the potluck at lunch or the alcohol I’ll be drinking afterwards lol.

I’m fairly certain the scale will not like me saturday, sigh, hopefully the weather will be nicer tomorrow and I’ll be able to at least go for a hike…too bad boxerfit was cancelled this week – if it wasn’t I might have a fighting chance on the scale on saturday. πŸ˜›

Dear Muscles, I’m Sooooo Sorry!

24 May

Oh my poor poor pathetic excuses of muscles, they are in so much pain and I am not pampering them in the way they are used to. Normally, if I exercise and actually cause my muscles to strain and thereby hurt/ache the next day I do everything I can to make it up to them. I move as little as possible, I eat comfort food, I wear warm clothes and have hot showers. lol. You’d think they were injured and not just being worked out. πŸ˜›

Last Friday I went to boxerfit class because dragon boating was cancelled due to the long weekend. It was oh so much fun and totally kicked my ass! I have the same curse as all other natural red heads in that as soon as I start doing cardio my face turns tomato red and I look as if I am going to pass out – I have had random strangers come up to me to ask if I am ok because I am so red I scare people, teehee. By the end of that class I was red red red! It’s really embarassing but oh well, nothing I can do about it, shrug.

Boxerfit works like this, it is an hour class that starts with intense interval cardio, then it moves to interval cardio combined with weight work for toning, then you get boxing gloves and have oh, I guess 20 minutes or so of boxing that you guessed it, is done in intervals. lol. Then a bit of stretching and abs and voila, it’s been an hour, I’m red as a tomato and sweating like a crazy person. πŸ˜€ I knew as soon as it was over I was gonna be in pain the next day lol.

Saturday rolled around and I hurt but not as badly as I thought I wouldΒ – there was definite muscle aches and some pains but over all not so bad. Sunday however, ahahaha, that is when the pain hit! My poor calves were beyond aching and were hurt-ing! Every move made me cringe and I did my darndest to move as little as possible. Monday I was out and about and it hurt but not as bad as the day before and the pain was more concentrated – it was only specific muscles now.

Today, Tuesday, went to work, had all the normal stuff happen – which means I sat at a desk for most of the day, shrug, but when I got home, oh man, I ingested sooooo many stupid calories, *shakes head*, sigh. I don’t know what I was thinking! Even as I was eating it I knew it was too much food and I’d feel sickly after and it would put me way over my points and I should just NOT do it…that didn’t stop my arm from getting a workout by lifting the food to my mouth. *raised eyebrow*

After I finished eating my tummy was all popping out even more then normal and oh ew, I felt so gross. I just wanted to sit and veg on the couch, drink tea, and huddle down while trying to digest but then I started thinking about my fat cells. Some people think fat people have more fat cells, that’s not true, we are born with a certain amount of fat cells and we retain the same amount throughout our lives (unless you get liposuction and they are forcibly removed) but those silly fat cells can change size. The fatter you are the bigger your fat cells are…think of them like a tart vs a pie, a skinny person has fat cells the size of a tart, a larger person has fat cells the size of a pie…now, obviously not really those sizes but you get what I mean, right?

So, I was sitting on the couch drinking tea and watching tv and I started thinking about my fat cells, and how I just ate way too much food and if I didn’t do something about all those calories that just went in to my body then my body would turn them in to fat cause it was way more then what I needed for the day and oh man were my fat cells gonna streeeetch – and after all that work to make them smaller! I just couldn’t deal with it! So I got my lazy ass off the couch and went for a hike. πŸ™‚

I had so many ways to talk myself out of it,Β examples of my excuses are (1) it looks like it’s gonna rain (2) my tummy felt icky from eating too much (3) I’m lazy (4) I have stuff to do in the apartment. Now see, they are all legit reasons so a person has to know if the reasons they are using to not exercise are a real reason or an excuse – for me, it is almost always an excuse. lol.

After my hike I did some push ups, some weight work, some ab work, stretching…frankly, I don’t know what got in to me, it was freaky and yet, I kept going…weird…lol

I don’t think I worked out enough to make enough exercise points to counteract all the food I ate when I got home (I haven’t had a chance to calculate everything yet) but at least I put some effort in to working off all those calories I ate…

So now I am sitting, writing up this post, drinking a big assΒ glass of water to rehydrate, and still feeling a bit icky from over eating earlier, imagine how much worse I would feel if I hadn’t exercised?! ack! But oh my poor muscles, I am not sure if the exercising I did this evening will make the muscles feel better tomorrow cause of stretching them and using them or make them feel even worse cause I pushed them too much too soon…guess we’ll find out tomorrow! πŸ˜›