Tag Archives: running

V-Day an Stuff

14 Feb

Ohhhh Valentine’s Day, sigh, the day when single girls can’t catch a break. Either people shoot looks of pity your way because you are single and *gasp* not doing anything social on this oh-so-red-infused day or they read into everything you say/do and nod sagely while calling you out on your so-called bitterness. *rolls eyes*

my surprise valentine present

my surprise valentine present

People don’t seem to understand the concept of a single female who is happy being just that, single. It’s ok for guys to be single, people don’t go around thinking they are running out of time to get married, they don’t assume a guy is bitter about being single, they don’t even seem to feel the need to reassure the guy that they’ll meet the right one soon.

But single women? Oh man the comments that I have had thrown my way, a girl needs kevlar just to survive out there lol 😛

I don’t see why my being single gives everyone around me the self-appointed right to judge every aspect of my life. Although, to be fair, I judge a lot of people I know who are in disfunctional unhappy relationships but who aren’t taking any steps to get out of them because it is more comfortable to be un-happy but know what to expect then to make a drastic change with only the hope of becoming happy…I guess really, we all judge each other, it’s just so much more apparent at certain times of the year or at certain social situations.

I, as a single woman, am not allowed to make any sarcastic comments about Valentine’s Day, I can’t make rude jokes about it, not one snarky comment can pass my lips because I will be instantly branded as bitter. Which, believe it or not, I’m not. On the reverse, I also can’t make sappy remarks about it, I can’t want to see the newest romantic comedy that is in theatre and I can’t buy any of the chocolate for myself because I will be instantly branded as someone pining for love and pitied. Which again, I’m not.

There’s no winning!

So on that note, I am without sarcasm or sappiness wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you spent the day eating whatever you wanted, hanging out with whomever you wanted (or avoiding all those you didn’t want to see) and I hope you were legit happy for at least part of the day. 🙂

Onward to more exciting stuff!

Look what came in the mail today!

Armpocket 1-30

Armpocket i-30

*insert girly squeal here*

I’m sooooooo excited! I ordered this a while ago but it had to clear customs (it came from the states) so it took a bit longer than normal to receive. It is an arm band to hold my phone, keys and other small things while I am running. Lame to be excited? Maybe…but I don’t care, I’m excited! 😀

Every time I want to go running it is a juggling act of what goes in to which pocket and then when I am running I am constantly checking my pockets to make sure I haven’t lost anything. On top of that I usually have my phone in one hand (I use an app on there to track my distance, speed, calories burned etc) and in my other hand is my iPod so I can listen to music. I look ridiculous and never really feel comfortable when running because I am always worried about losing things. But this new toy will fix all that!

The one I bought is the i-30. I chose it because it was on sale. Yeah, really awesome research right? lol I did research it in 2013, and even went so far as to ask for it for Christmas but I didn’t get it. I figured oh well, maybe in summer I’ll buy one buuuut since I have to train for this run I signed up for (it is in May) I took a look at their site again and the one I wanted was on sale because they’d come out with a new version for 2014. Sweeeet! Since I didn’t care about the minor tweaks they made for the new version I bought the one I originally wanted but for cheap…well, cheaper. 😛

The specs:

-The fabric is made from recycled plastic bottles – which I love!

-It has a touch-through cover so I’ll be able to use my phone’s screen without taking it out of the armpocket.

-It has 3 interior storage compartments so you can carry your phone, keys, ID, energy bar etc – no more juggling things in my pocket for me!

-It is water proof.

-Ventilated straps so my arm won’t be a nasty sweaty mess under the strap when I’m running.

There are of course other things that the pamphlet and website say are awesome about it but these are the reasons I chose it. 🙂

The only thing I’m not so impressed with are the pockets inside. There are three interior storage compartments to securely hold your items, the pic shows your credit card and ID fitting nicely in to one pocket while your keys and cash go in the second and then your phone is in the third. Well…hmm…those interior pockets that are supposed to be for my plastic and keys are small, as in narrow, as in I don’t think my ID or credit card would fit in one…it’s not like American ID cards or credit cards are different sizes so I don’t know why the pockets are so narrow…I’ll be fiddling more with it tomorrow and I’ll see, maybe my stuff really will fit in there ok? Even if they don’t fit perfectly I am still happy with it. Course, I’ll be happier after I’ve gone for a run with it on my arm and I know how well it feels and if it really doesn’t slide down the arm like they claim. lol

Shoot, I had other things I wanted to write about but this is already really long…sigh, I guess I’ll have to write a separate post *rolls eyes*

Cheerio!

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Freaking. Out.

4 Feb

I am freaking out about three different things right now, all completely different, all on different serious-ness levels, and all messing with me, arg!

The first is on a stupid level: I seem to be a bottomless pit today, constant hunger (except for one period of time earlier this evening that I will tell you about farther in to this post), I don’t want to be eating like a crazy person today, but it seems to be a choice between eat more than I think I should be eating or feel starved. Oh and I don’t mean a little nibble “starved” but as I type this my tummy is rumbling and I am at a level of hunger that is super uncomfortable. I am at this level of hunger even though I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner aaaaand a snack three hours or so after dinner. Maybe I should have eaten more protein today, that fills a person up longer, or…what? I don’t know…something…I feel I should have done something throughout the day to prevent this constant hunger buuuut there is only so much food I am willing to eat so I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with feeling hungry. sigh.

By Mr Crocker via Deviant Art

By Mr Crocker via deviantArt

The second things I’m freaking out about is on a fun level: I signed up for the BMO Run, the options were 8km, half marathon or full marathon…I chose the 8km which I know to most will seem like a ridiculously short distance and not even worthy of a person’s time but the most I’ve ever “run” was a 5km and I didn’t run the whole thing, both times I did the 5km I did it with a friend and each time we ended up walking a good chunk of it. I’m excited because I’ve been wanting to run some sort of marathon type thing for a while now but I know I wouldn’t be able to run a half marathon let alone a full marathon cause I am sooooo not a runner lol 8km seems perfect, long enough it will be something to work towards and require me to do some training so I don’t suck on the day but not so long it kills me or I feel like a failure or terrified about not being able to complete it. Despite picking the shortest distance I am still freaking out a bit because like I said, I am not a runner, I don’t know for sure that I can actually do this, what if I suck so badly I can’t finish? That would be mortifying! Plus, I signed up for it alone, which will suck cause I’ll have no one to share the fun of the day with but I really want to try my best for this and if I suck I don’t want to be able to say it was cause the person I was with wanted to walk (or some other type of excuse), how well I do will rest solely on my shoulders…but it won’t be as much fun without a friend to share it with.

8km run bmo

The third thing I am freaking out about is kinda serious but I’m hoping I’ve blown it out of proportion: The doctor’s office called about my x-ray and CT scan results. I forgot my phone at home today, (felt like I was missing a vital piece of my body all day! lol), when I got home I checked my messages and I had one from the doctor’s office saying the doc wanted me to come in today as soon as I could to discuss the CT scan, I was to call them and they would fit me in. Um, what? Don’t they only want you to go in when it is something bad?? So, freak out part one! I called, as soon as I said my name the receptionist knew why I was calling (I’m hoping they were having a quiet day, not that she knows something bad is up and it is so horrifying it burned my name in to her memory…), I told her I forgot my phone and didn’t get her message till then and sorry but there was no way I could get there before the office closed (it was 4:40pm and they close at 5pm). She put me on hold, comes back and says the doc can stay till 6pm if I can get in before then to which I responded I am in the middle of cooking a stir fry so can’t really leave it, could I please go tomorrow? Freak out part two! She’s willing to stay late to see me?? OMG! She puts me on hold again, then comes back and asks if I am feverish (what?? weird!), I said no, so she said ok then tomorrow would be fine. A tad random don’t ya think? So now I have an appointment tomorrow at 4…crap, at 4 something, I can’t believe I forgot the time of the appointment! I’ll have to call them tomorrow to confirm, only me! lol 😛 Anyways! I now have an appointment with the doc tomorrow to talk about my hip and the results of the CT scan and I am freaking out because in my world you only have to go in to discuss test results when it is bad news. 😦 I don’t wanna go. *pout* If I ignore it won’t it go away? And before you say “no it won’t” I already know that cause I am the one sitting here with hip pain which I keep trying to ignore and it keeps not going away, stupid pain. Oh, and to make it worse, the pain is now in both hips not just the right hip, what the hell is going on in there? Stupid hips. sigh.

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

Stupid hip bones! Grr! by Elcadia on deviantArt

I don’t have any idea what might be wrong, which means my brain has been flying off in 20 different directions coming up with all kinds of ridiculous things it could be, none of them are positive of course lol I was so freaked out that after I got off the phone and finished cooking my dinner I stared at it for a while cause I wasn’t hungry, the news actually messed with my appetite, nothing messes with my appetite! Least not to suppress it so ya know I’m worried when I don’t want to eat…I eventually did eat but only because I didn’t want to waste the food, not out of hunger…which is ironic considering I’ve been a bottomless pit all day…

So there we have it, I am in full freaking out mode, mostly about the doctor visit and her level of insistence at seeing me as soon as can be arranged. I keep thinking it’ll end up being nothing serious and this freaking out will be for nothing and I’ll be pissed if I get a wrinkle or white hair from this but then a little part of my brain starts with the “what if it isn’t a little thing” and I’m right back to freaking out.

I think I’ll try to concentrate on the BMO Run, least that is a fun freak out topic…

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Mish-Mash

30 Jan

I (quite unintentionally!) have not written in a couple days and it is driving me nuts! lol Not like some huge life altering thing happened in the last couple days just that I feel weird for having not written…go fig! 😛

So here’s a random mish-mash of thoughts that went through my head lately…

My mail for the day, wtf??

My mail for the day, wtf??

The above shows everything I got in the mail on Monday. W.T.F?!?! All ads for fast food, two are for pizza places, one for Quizno’s (and before you try to say Quizno’s sells subs and is healthy go look at the nutritional information, you might as well be eating at McDonald’s!). Why-oh-why don’t I ever see flyers with coupons in my mailbox for places that sell legit healthy food? Hmm? The ad industry is obviously trying to keep us all fat, *rolls eyes* lol I would go out of my way to use a coupon at a Pita Pit but I’ve never seen a flyer/coupon for them ever...

Which leads me to…Why are all the drive-thru food places only places that sell bad-for-me-food? When I was having all that hip pain I ended up going through a fast food drive thru because I (1) had limited food at home, what I had required being able to stand long enough to prep and cook it and I couldn’t do that (2) had been in the hospital for over five plus hours, was on my home and was really hungry and (3) wasn’t able to bare the pain of getting out of my suv, hobbling around a grocery store and then maneuvering back in to my suv to drive home. The only option for food that I had was various fast food joints that had drive-thru. Subway drive-thru? Nope. (and yes I know they count as fast food but at least you have healthy options there) Pita Pit drive-thru? Nope. Hell, a Booster Juice drive-thru? Definitely nope. Is it because if you are eating somewhere healthy you are supposed to be energetic enough to get out of your car to get your food? That seems discriminatory against people with mobility issues…just sayin…:P

Early Valentine's Day Gift

Early Valentine’s Day Gift

A friend of mine gave me the above slow cooker as an early Valentine’s gift and I am super stoked to use it! I got it Sunday and have yet to take it out of the box cause well, to be honest I haven’t been cooking much on these days off and it seems slow cookers take a bit of fore-thought. Not like pulling out a frying pan, tossing some stuff in it and boom! food! Nooooo, the slow cooker needs me to know in advance what I want to put in it and then use it. I don’t know that I am capable of that! lol 😉 I really wanted to use it before I go to work Friday afternoon cause I’ll be seeing the friend that gave it to me and I wanted a story of the epic meal I made in it but uh, I don’t think that’s really gonna happen…shoot…I should really go google slow cooker recipes, there might still be time?

My agent sent out some sides (that means copy of a script), I am to work on a couple scenes for a specific character, really nail it, then go film it at the office (he has studio space), it is to send to casting agents so they can see what I can do using a more recent script. I’m really psyched about it cause (1) it gives me something to work on not just that I came up with but that has a purpose and (2) shows my agent is planning/plotting/thinking which I loooooove!

My little sister and I met with the trainer again yesterday, makes for two Wednesdays in a row. 🙂 We had physical assessment tests done, he is going to email us our results but I haven’t gotten an email yet. I don’t know that I want to know the results lol I mean, I know how many push-ups I was able to do, and how long I lasted in the cardio-endurance test, I know I scored perfect on balance (which if you know me is funny cause I am always off balance lol) and I know how I did on some of the other things but I don’t think I want to know my body fat %, or my weight, or just how low I scored on my core strength (suuuuper low I am sure!). I just want all that to stay unknown to me and then when I get retested in a couple months or so I want to be told I improved…but specific numbers? That knowledge will just be depressing I think…We had homework for the past week, the food journal, I handed it in but don’t know what he has made of it yet, eek! This week my homework is to keep track of what physical fitness stuff I do and tell him next Wednesday, I feel he’ll be disappointed if I say I did nothing so I’m gonna hafta make sure I get off my ass and do something…

Speaking of getting off ones ass, I had wanted to go running today and had the perfect route! I had to go to work this afternoon for a meeting and thought I’d park at a grocery store then run to work, attend the meeting, and run back to my suv, perfect right?! 🙂 It would have been about 8km total (that’s 5 miles I believe) but it was crap ass weather, pouring rain, and while I was ok with attending the meeting being sweaty I wasn’t ok with attending it looking like a drowned rat. 😦 So that didn’t happen. I am just not a do-stuff-in-the-rain kind of person…unless it is dragon boating but hey, that’s a water sport, I’m gonna get wet anyways lol

I managed to steam a spaghetti squash tonight for the first time ever! Soooo happy it worked! I had to call my mom for some help and she very nicely ensured I didn’t screw it up lol I paired the squash with some feta cheese and a red pepper antipasto, it was ok. I also had a cheese and broccoli stuffed chicken breast which was super yum. 🙂 I took a picture but it doesn’t look good at all so I’ll leave you to your imagination on this one lol. 😛

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A Little Down Lately

18 Jan

Do you ever have days where for absolutely no reason you can point to you are a bit down? I’ve been having days like that lately and when I have the energy to care it pisses me off, mostly I don’t have the energy to care though lol

This evening I am a bit down but I know why. I got booked in a non-union no-pay commercial that is filming tomorrow. The plan was I would rush after work to the set and film, yay! Even though I wouldn’t be getting paid it would be good exposure and I looooove being on set. Plus, it is my first official booking with my new agent and it seemed like a great sign for how the rest of the year would go, so soon in the year getting a booking? What a wicked start!

Well, sigh, I got an email that the time of the shoot has been changed to tomorrow at 11:30am, I can’t make it because I will be at my day job and it wasn’t enough notice for me to swap shifts. Ugh. Luckily, because it is a no-pay gig I won’t get in trouble for not being able to go anymore but there goes my exposure, double sigh.

Since I got the email with the change of time I’ve been down. On my drive back to my apartment after work this evening I was actively thinking about getting a milk shake, as if drinking a ridiculously high in calorie drink would somehow make me feel better. Taste good suuuuuure but do anything good for me long term? Nope. Short term though…well, that’s a different matter since some days a person just wants to eat/drink their feelings lol

Instead of buying a milkshake I made a drink at home that I love but rarely have because it isn’t all that great for me (though there are a lot worse drinks out there lol) but also because I like saving it as a treat.

these two added to warm milk = deliciousness

these two added to warm milk = deliciousness

You take milk, warm it on the stove, while it is heating up add a couple tablespoons of the almond powder that is in the pink tin, stir for a bit, pour in to a mug and sprinkle some nutmeg on top.

It’ll look like this…

Warm Almond Milk topped with Nutmeg

Warm Almond Milk topped with Nutmeg

If you are like me you have a mug you use for special comfort drinks (hot chocolate, warm almond milk with nutmeg…um, those are my only comfort drinks lol) which is why my drink is in that snazzy Star Trek mug that I got in Vegas. 🙂

I haven’t been working out a lot lately, read between the lines and that translates to “I haven’t been working out at all lately” 😦 Bad me! *shakes finger at self* Mostly because of the hip and a small part because of my being lazy lol I went for a walk last Wednesday and am embarrassed to admit that was my only form of activity for all of last week. Laaaaaaame!

So now I’m trying to decide which way the correlation goes, do I feel down and as a result haven’t been exercising or have I not been exercising and that has me feeling down…either way the result is I am not exercising. *rolls eyes* I had a day or two last week where if I had wanted to push the hip I probably could have done something active but didn’t go because (get this!) I felt fat! Yeah, you read that right…I had a day where I didn’t go to the gym because I felt too fat to go to the gym, I felt that everyone would be staring and judging me as I failed on the treadmill, as I tried to lift weights, as I looked ridiculous stretching…you get the idea…

I am well aware of the faults in this logic…I can’t get in shape if I am not exercising but I was feeling too down and fat to want to go exercise. This is not a situation I am used to and I’m not really sure how to get out of it…*confused face*

I’ve decided I’m fed up with myself. Hell, I am irritating myself. So tonight before I go to bed I am going to pack a bag with my work out stuff in it and hang it on the door knob to my front door, that way I can’t possibly forget it tomorrow when I leave for work. Then after work no matter what I am exercising! I may go to the gym, I may go for an outdoor run, I dunno, but I am damn sure I am gonna do something cause no way I’ll start feeling better about how I look if I just keep doing nothing.

get out of your own way

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5km…But Not Really

9 Oct

I participated in the Run For the Cure this past Sunday. It is a 5km run/1km walk to raise money for breast cancer research.

Here is a link to the site:

http://www.runforthecure.com/site/PageServer?pagename=run_homepage_13

$27 million was raised nationally at this year’s Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure, how amazing is that?! 😀

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCz–fWSGl8

There are runs all over the country and while I can’t speak for the runs in other locations I can tell you the one I went to is fun! fun! fun! 😀

It’s only a 5km run so nothing impressive to brag about, especially since so many of the blogs I read that are by people who are also working to get into better shape show they are training and running full marathons – that’s 42 km! (26.2 miles) How is that even possible?! *shakes head in wonder*

While at this run I saw:

– multiple dogs wearing pink tutus

– lots of pink feather boas, pink wigs, basically pink everything lol

– a cheerleading squad along the route chanting we are “G-R-E-A-T…Grrrreat!”

– men, women and children all coming together to support a totally worthy cause

I would have liked to attempt running the entire route but I was with a friend and we ended up alternating between jogging and walking…mostly walking. Ah well. I used my Runtastic App to track us so we’d know exactly how long we took and realized that not only would it track our speed but it would map the route we took so I can go back another day and run the route again, see if I can do it. Yay!

When we were done I took a look to see our time and discovered that the route was actually only 3.49km, I feel jipped. 😦 I’m not sure how a route that is officially supposed to be 5km measured out at only 3.49km, not like we missed a turn somewhere…The shorter distance makes me want to redo the route even more so I can measure it again, see if it was a glitch with my App that time, I can’t think of what else it would be…

I know this run doesn’t have the seriousness of a full marathon, it is meant to be a stress free enjoyable experience. There is no pressure to be first (that I was aware of anyways), there isn’t even a big clock at the end to tell you how long you were (there was two years ago when I participated, but not this year). I can’t say for sure how this run compares to a full marathon since I have never been in one of those but I know if you are looking for an event that involves getting out, having fun, raising money for a good cause and being active this is a good one to start with.

Participating in this has made me think that maybe I could train to do a longer run, not a full marathon, lets not go crazy or anything, but maybe a half marathon? Or a quarter marathon, is there such a thing? I feel that if there isn’t there should be! 😉 lol

And in a move that is sure to go down in blogging history (dramatic much? lol) I, for the first time ev-ah!  am putting a pic of me in a post…well, of a side of my face anyways lol to show you the face painting I had done before the run started. I enjoyed having it but I had to go to work after the run and lemme tell ya, gold glitter does not like to come off my face with ease! I was glittery the whole rest of the day *rolls eyes* lol

Yes it is my face, horrendously close up, eek! But how else can I show off the face painting?

Yes it is my face, horrendously close up, eek! But how else can I show off the face painting?

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New Gear!

26 Jun

I am a girl, this means I love to shop! Don’t go saying I am being sexist, it’s practically written in to my DNA, just like my love of chocolate and ice cream. 😛

Here’s where I veer a bit off the so called “normal” girl path. Sure, I get happy buying fun things to wear but I get waaaaay psyched when buying new workout gear! I think because work out gear is usually fairly pricey, I can’t afford to buy it all that often, and really, how often do you neeeeed to buy it? No point in buying a new pair of runners when the ones you have are still in good shape. No point in buying more work out clothes when you have enough to get you through the week and they still fit. No point in buying more work out equipment when you have nowhere to put it and again, no money to be able to afford it lol.

Which means buying new gear, any type of new gear is a major treat in my world, and something I really look forward to!

Today I got to buy shoes, *happy girly sigh* and yes, that is pluralized. Shoooooooes! 😀

The first pair look like…

New Dragon Boat shoes!

New Dragon Boat shoes!

They are strictly for dragon boating, suuuuuper strictly! I get to break em in tomorrow at practice and am so looking forward to it!

I have been wanting new shoes for dragon boating all season but couldn’t justify the expense. In the cold months I wear an old pair of converse sneakers that take forever to dry but are old so I sacrifice them to the nasty water and in the warmer months I wear flip flops from WalMart that cost a whopping $3. I figure if I lose them to the water no big loss money wise. The flip flops aren’t great to wear during warm up but I’ve been able to make em work. That all ended yesterday!

We have upped the intensity of our warm ups (in addition to some other changes) in an effort to shave a couple seconds off our race times. (We came in fourth in our division at the big dragon boat festival this past weekend…sooooooo close! arg!) so now part of our warm up is running. That’s right. Running. ugh. Like I don’t do that enough as is I now have to run in a pack before hopping on to the boat. *rolls eyes* Could be worse though, right? And hey, I’m totally all in when it comes to doing my part for helping our team get a better time…even if I do bitch a bit lol

Thing is, I have tried running in my flip flops, it doesn’t go well which means I need an actual shoe. I took my normal work out runners yesterday but between finishing warm up and going to the boat there isn’t enough time to put my runners in to a locker and no way do I want them exposed to the nasty water that splashes over the side of the boat (although they did come in the boat yesterday) which led me to shoe shopping! Gotta love the wind-ey logic that got me in to the store don’t ya? 😉

The shoes are made by Skechers, are all mesh which means quick dry, wOOt! and the bottoms have a nice good grip which hopefully will do its job when I am running…tomorrow will tell! 🙂

The second pair were not an intended purchase, I swear I only meant to look, maaaaaybe try on but not buy! Buuuut, I am weak, and I bought, eek! *hangs head in shame*

The second pair look like…

My new running shoes! Treadmill here I come!

My new running shoes! Treadmill here I come!

These shoes are made by Adidas, and are meant for running, indoor treadmill running to be specific. To be fair, I am sure they would be perfectly fine running on a smooth trail but the most outside wear they will get will be when I am walking/running to the gym and back lol. They have these holes on the side of the tread that allow for ventilation that will apparently help my feet stay cool, I’ll reserve judgement on that till I actually use them lol.

I have needed new running shoes for a while, mine have had stress lines on the tread for ages which means they are dead but going back to the whole money thing, I couldn’t afford a new pair so I’ve been making do with my old ones. These were on sale and honestly, once I tried them on I was screwed, I was bouncing around the store in them and abso fell in love with them. I forgot how great new runners feel!

I really wanted to take them directly to the gym to give em a go on the treadmill but my knee has been killing me all day and since it was hurting just to walk running was not in the cards today, sigh. But hey, there is always tomorrow! 🙂

So there we have it, my new shoes, both lovely pairs, I can’t wait to put them to the test! 😀

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Rest Time Is Over!

4 Jun

Last Wednesday I managed to hurt my foot, this meant I now had a sore left knee and a very sore right foot. Least my injuries were on opposite sites of the body, so I wasn’t unbalanced! lol

I gave myself a bit of a resting period after I finished my 30 Day Challenges so my knee could recover, and also so my foot could recover from the heavy stuff that fell on it *rolls eyes at myself*

Today was the official end of the resting period! 😀

I didn’t really think about it when I was getting my gym gear together last night, at most I thought, get the bag packed now so I have no excuse to not take my gym stuff to work and if you feel like going to the gym after work then you can go. See, I have this defect, it is called laziness, I have another defect called “my cat is in charge” so if I go home after work with the idea I will change and head out to the gym, well, it never happens because (1) I end up sitting down and then I am comfy and no way in hell are you dragging my lazy ass out of my comfy living room chair after a day at work and (2) the cat gives me sad eyes because he’s been alone all day and I feel bad so I end up cuddling him then he is comfy and sleeping on my lap and in my world you don’t disturb a sleeping cat. The cat has me well trained lol. 😛

If I have any intention at all of exercising after work I can NOT go home! Sad but true.

I have been known to take my gym gear then say “screw it, I’m too tired” at the end of the day and just go home but generally that is when I am running on 3 hours or less of sleep so I don’t feel so bad when that happens lol

Today however, when I was at work, I made a decision. Not an exercising decision, a food decision. See, at work, whoever does the morning shift (sundays and mondays that is yours truly) does the baking for the breakfast that gets laid out buffet style. It is little muffins, pastries, croissants. They are killer. They are all empty carbs, full of refined sugar, no redeeming nutritional value to any of them, but they taste so freakin good! lol The croissants are my weak point. They are small croissants so you don’t feel as guilty eating them, but just cause they are small doesn’t mean they aren’t wicked bad for you right? Right!

Normally I nibble. That’s right, I nibble! So sue me! If I accidentally decapitate a muffin when taking it out of the tray I eat it so it doesn’t get thrown out and wasted (like how I can justify it? lol), when I’m plating the croissants I “accidentally” put one on a plate for me…then, if there are croissants left over at the end of breakfast I more often than not swipe one, or two…so in case you aren’t doing the math, that is a potential 3 mini croissants in one morning! That is on top of the toast I make myself…which great, right? even more freakin useless carbs, *groan* Not a good way to start the day!

Today, for some reason I decided to not eat any of the breakfast baking. I still had the toast cause it was either eat toast or have no breakfast at all and I figured the toast was better then starvation lol but the pastries? the mini muffins? the mini croissants? Nope, I’m good thanks. 🙂

Oddly enough, what I kept leaning on when I was tempted to grab something was that I had completed the 30 Day Challenges. Those sucked at time but I finished them, didn’t cheat, didn’t skimp out on anything, I got all the way through and if I could handle all those squats and all that ab work for 30 days surely I could manage one day of not eating the bakery items?

I found myself walking towards them a couple times out of habit but when I realized where I was aimed I turned and went somewhere else, luckily there is a lot to do at work so I could always find something to distract me.

And guess what? I made it through the day without touching a single item from that breakfast display and when the day was over I felt a little bit stronger for that. Not so much for holding out but for making the healthier choice. For putting my goal of eating healthy and getting in shape ahead of the instant satisfaction of something tasty. By not caving in with the breakfast goodies it made it that much easier to choose to go to the gym after work. I was tired, kinda didn’t want to go, was coming up with all kinds of reasons to skip it but lo and behold I ended up at they gym and well hey, once you’re there you can’t turn around and leave, you’d just look stupid if you did that lol 😛

The gym however almost killed me. lol. Not the working out part, although I did push myself on the cardio, but the gym itself was an oven, the air conditioning is broken so as soon as you step in to the gym you are hit with a blast of heat that doesn’t let up the entire time you are there. Oy! You could easily have started to sweat just from being in there, wouldn’t even have to do anything to work up the sweat!

Well whatever right? I got changed and headed to the treadmill. I had such a (surprisingly) good run just a bit before I hurt my foot I was feeling super optimistic about todays run and almost decided to set it for 45 minutes. The only reason I didn’t was I was parked in a one hour only zone and wanted time after my run to stretch out soooooo 30 minutes it was! I am so grateful I set it for only 30 minutes! I was running at a decent pace (for me), but by the last ten minutes I was doing that deep, slightly louder breathing and it just kept getting louder the longer I ran. Also grateful no one was on the treadmill near me lol Part of my brain was saying “stop! for the love of all that is holy just stop! you don’t have to tell anyone, it’ll be ok, you can’t take anymore!” but this little voice in my head was whispering “you can do this, you have done this and more in the past, you ate well today, you have the fuel in you, just keep going, prove to yourself you can finish, don’t quit” the “don’t quit” voice was no where near as loud as the desperate wheezing pleading voice that wanted me to stop but I clung to it, repeated over and over “I can do this!” in my head and what do you know, I did it! I ran for 30 minutes, on a random hill program, at a speed of 5, level 4, with inclines ranging from 0-5 and not once did I stop. *puffs up with a bit of pride* I know I used to do way better before, was on a higher level, doing intervals, running at a base speed that was faster then the speed I did today, with higher inclines but instead of dwelling on how I did so much more and did it so much better last summer when I was more consistent with my running training I am going to be happy at what I accomplished today. Getting back to the shape I was in last summer doesn’t mean starting at the levels I left off at last summer, it means starting a little lower down and earning my way back to where I was.

I went and stretched then headed to the locker room where I shocked myself silly when I looked in the mirror! lol Imagine a sunburn, the worst face sunburn you have ever seen, the pinkest, the reddest, the brightest, now times that by 100 (cause I am a redhead and super pale and burn worse than other people) and that was my face! I kid you not! I was soooooooooo red! lol It was quite embarrassing actually, I made sure to keep my head down while I was walking out of the gym and to my suv. I go quite red when doing cardio anyways, but the combo of the cardio, plus the over heated gym, plus the treadmill was radiating heat (not even kidding! when I stopped I realized blasts of heat were coming from the lower part of the machine and hitting me full body) I guess my poor skin just couldn’t take it and it turned me in to a tomato! A highly unattractive tomato! lol I am so not attractive when I work out and going red really doesn’t make it any better, *sigh* No wonder when I was done running I was a bit unbalanced if I was that over heated!

Ah well, who cares if I get a red face right? Just means I worked hard, I earned that red face dammit! Well, partially earned it and partially got cooked in a room with no air conditioning lol 😛

tomato running on a treadmill, aka me at the gym today

tomato running on a treadmill, aka me at the gym today

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A New Way of Tracking Your Workout

20 May

I found a new app, well, in all fairness it might not be new but it is new to me. 🙂 It’s called runtastic. Not the most original name but who cares what the name is if it is a good app?

runtastic

I’ve only used it once so I can’t say for sure that it is good but here is what I know about it so far:

-you open it at the beginning of your workout, you tell it what type of exercise you are doing and it gps tracks your route, time and speed

-when you are done you fill in info saying what the road surface was like, how you feel, weather conditions, and there is a spot for notes

-there is a section for your heart rate but I don’t have that info

-you can save all the stats from your workout and go back and check them later, the app even oh so nicely dates the info so you don’t have to remember when each workout was

I’m going to keep using the app for the next little while so I can see if my running gets any better. It was also nice to see what distance I am running when I use the trail near my place. Normally I run on a treadmill so I can track everything about my run and I really like that. When I run outside, or go hiking, I generally don’t count it as exercise because I have no way to track it except for how long I do the activity for, not really a lot of information lol. But since I plan on doing a lot of outdoor running and hiking this summer I figured I needed a way to track it.

I was actually looking for a couch potato to 5km app that is free but all the ones I found you have to buy. You can install them free and use them for a little bit of time free but eventually it snags you for money and well, how rude is that?? So this runtastic app was sorta my second choice…after reading what it can do and trying it out today though I’m thinking I might have found something better then a couch potato to 5km. Sure, I won’t have a voice telling me when to run, jog or walk but maybe I can figure that out on my own?

I’m back on the wagon with my protein shakes, yah! I have had one for 4 days in a row and am planning on keeping it up! 🙂 They are so tasty I don’t know why I stopped them *rolls eyes* I’m using them as a meal replacement, gotta say, it’s my best meal of the day lol For the last 4 days I made the shake and took it to work so that I could avoid the food at work. I figure it is better to drink the shake and know exactly what is going in my body then eat the delicious food at work that is not cooked by me and is most likely not quite as healthy as I would like. I’m really gonna miss the food tho, *big epic sigh* 😦

On a completely unrelated topic, I am craving junk food like you wouldn’t believe! Even while making my dinner I was going through the fridge, freezer and cupboards looking for what I was going to eat for dessert…fyi, I found nothing. Nothing!! 😦 I don’t keep junk food in the apartment specifically because of days when I am craving it and won’t be able to control how much I eat but omg thought I was gonna go nuts from the wanting but not getting lol 😛 In the end I had a greek yogurt cup for dessert, sooooo not what I was wanting but a way better choice then the pastry or chocolate I would have happily jumped through fire for. I’m hoping that my not eating something high in sugar today when I am wanting it so badly will help me to resist next time I have a junk food craving…wish me luck! 🙂

 

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I Used To Be Able To Run, Honest!

24 Apr

Oh. My. God. Monday was so embarrassing! I hate the gym! 😦

Ignore me, I’m being overly dramatic (side effect of being an actor lol). I’m sure no one was watching, or watching enough to notice, but still! I embarrassed myself with my level of suckyness and that is almost worse then being embarrassed and knowing other people saw. I’m far more judgmental of myself then others seem to be of me…what’s with that? *raised eyebrow*

Anyways! Gotta shake it off! 😛

On Monday I went to the gym (like you hadn’t figured that out already? lol) and I hopped on the treadmill like always. Now, I am soooooo not a runner but last winter/summer I somehow ran enough on the freakin treadmill that I somehow accidentally became a bit of a runner. It wasn’t so much that I liked running, just that I’d become good at it and had managed to push myself to distances and speeds I never would have thought I could reach and I liked the challenge of doing even better each gym visit. Sick huh?

Towards the end of last year I was so busy with moving and work and being lazy that I stopped going to the gym as often as I used to. Didn’t think too much of it, and figured when I went back I’d pick up right where I left off. Then the car accident happened and I couldn’t go to the gym, and I started to chafe at the inactivity. I actually wanted to go and exercise but wasn’t allowed to, or capable of if I’m gonna be honest and I got in a slump. shrug. Once I was cleared for going back to the gym I did go a bit but still had to take it easy. Then dragon boat practice started up, oh, and a bit before practices started up I started hiking again and somehow, even though I was being physically active I wasn’t going anywhere near the treadmill.

Last Monday I went not just near the treadmill, but on it, and I thought I was going to die. *rolls eyes*

I started up at my regular warm up, about a minute of fast walking, then pushed the speed up to my former basic running speed. I was intending to do my interval sprints (30 seconds of sprinting, 1.5 minutes of regular running speed, for a grand total of 30 minutes) but by the time I got to where I usually start my sprints I was ready to quit, w.t.f??? I was shocked at how quickly I wanted to get off that evil contraption but there ya have it, apparently my running cardio is gone, kaput, out the window, dead.

This saddens me more then I thought it would. More though, it pisses me off! I worked my butt off (literally!) in my quest to become a runner. I went everyday to the stupid gym, I went when I felt sick, when I was tired, depressed, lazy, had other things to do, I skipped fun social activities to go to the gym, I pushed myself harder then I had ever been pushed, I sweated, I killed my runners, I dealt with body pains, I worked and I earned the level of running I got to. And now? Now it is all gone. Now I have to earn it all back again and all I can think about is how hard it was the first time, how much I went through, and how I don’t know if I can do that again. I don’t know that I have it in me. When I was running on Monday I seriously was ready to hop off and say screw it, nobody will ever know, I’ll just go sit on a freakin bike, those are easier. But then this guy got on the treadmill next to me and I somehow felt obligated to stay on, he blatantly looked at my treadmill screen so he saw my speed and time and if I got off so early in my “run” well, I’d be embarrassed wouldn’t I? And heaven forbid that happen! sigh. Sometimes I hate my pride lol

Well, in the end my 30 minute interval run turned in to a 20 minute slow jog, with, I am ashamed to admit, two quick stops so I could drink some water. *red faced*  While I know any activity is good activity a huge part of me feels like why should I even bother if that is the best I can do? I had to run at a slower speed than I used to, and couldn’t maintain that for the length of time I used to run for.

I am definitely no longer a runner. 😦

After the treadmill I went to the free weights area, grabbed some dumbbells and did a bunch of squats etc for my legs, figured if I couldn’t run as well as I used to least I could do was work the muscles another way. I definitely worked them! It is two days later and my legs are still in pain! Good muscle pain though so I don’t mind, much. lol. 😛

I’m grateful I haven’t also lost my cardio ability when it comes to dragon boating. I can still paddle the endurance pieces coach puts us through no problem. But that kind of confuses me. How can I have good cardio in the paddling sense but sucky cardio in the running  sense? Isn’t cardio cardio? Apparently it isn’t…but I don’t understand why. Sure paddling uses more core and running is legs but, well, I have no core strength, lol, it has always been one of my weakest areas, and now it seems like my core is stronger then my legs?? There is something way flawed with that…

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To The Gym – Finally!

11 Mar

WooHoo! I am finally allowed back to the gym!…on a conditional basis but whatever! I’m allowed back that’s all that matters to me! lol It’s not that I miss the gym exactly, more like I miss working out and not feeling like a huge blob sitting in my living room getting bigger and bigger and bigger…I mean c’mon, who wants to feel like that? Not me!

The conditional basis for my return to the world of exercise is this: I am allowed back for two weeks and I must ease in to things, sigh, I’m not good at “easing in” to things, I like to jump right in but fine, *pout* I’ll try to ease in…kinda 😉

After two weeks I have to go back to my physio and he has to reassess me to see how my back and neck are dealing with my normal routine. I don’t know what happens after that…

I’m not sure how well my body is dealing with my normal routine to be honest. I am lifting heavy stuff at work again, I am doing my normal activities, admittedly I haven’t been to the gym as often as I would like because life got in the way and I am totally out of the habit of prioritizing exercise in to my life (I plan to fix that!) but if I don’t make it to the gym I try to use my exercise bike or at least do some core work on my living room floor. I made a rule that if I am watching more then one hour of tv I have to ride the exercise bike for at least an hour while watching tv, and well, me being me, once I’ve done an hour of cardio I’m not going to stop there so then I do push ups, sit ups, core work, stretching, ya know, the normal stuff. However, by the end of the day my neck and back are hurting quite a bit and that is not normal…if I use a heating pad and rest it it seems to do a bit better but it shouldn’t be hurting right?

I’m trying not to think about it too much, I’ll just wait and see what the physio says next week. 🙂

Going back to the gym was…odd. I was actually kinda scared, something I was not expecting. I think the fear was partially because it was a new gym so I wouldn’t know where anything was and it’d take me a bit of time to get oriented and I didn’t know what to expect for how busy it would be or what type of people would be in there (I have noooooo desire to go to a gym that is full of snobs, ugh). The other reason was I have lost muscle mass, my muscle definition is not at all what it used to be and I am squishier around the middle, sigh. While I hate the squishy look I know it’s only a matter of consistent workouts and proper eating to help get that lessened but the big fear was how much my cardio ability and strength ability had declined. I worked hard to become good at running and to be able to lift weights I never thought I’d be able to lift. I was terrified to find that was all gone.

Guess what? It’s gone. 😦

After my first visit to the gym I was torn between being happy I went and feeling good about myself and wanting to cry because I wasn’t able to do as good of a workout as I used to be able to. I ran but not as fast or for as long as I used to, I just couldn’t do it, or couldn’t manage to push myself to do it. Oh, and get this, I totally blanked on my free weight routine. I thought I’d do back and arms but I get to the free weight section, I’m surrounded by buff guys who are lifting ridiculously heavy weights and I blanked on my exercises. I couldn’t remember everything I used to do, was worried I didn’t remember the proper form for some things, didn’t know what weights I should start with (cause I figured I’d have to start with smaller weights than what I used to be able to lift but it was a guessing game of what size) and something new, I was embarrassed to be lifting such small (in comparison to those guys) weights. That is just down right stupid, I am a girl, a girl who is soooo not a body builder so of course I can’t lift the same weights, or anything near! Plus it was my first time back after months away due to injury so nothing to be ashamed about!…and yet…I guess part of the embarrassment was because they were watching me and I was feeling kinda judged by them, not cool, but also probably all in my head so I can’t blame them for that. sigh.

Today was my second time to the gym and I wondered if I was going to feel the same way. I struggled on the treadmill, more then I ever have and that annoys me. Thing is, I think I could have pushed harder, could have done better, but I’ve lost that ability to push myself, to reach a limit I didn’t think I could. Where did that go? Where did that voice in my head that used to encourage me, yell at me, push me to give that little bit extra so I accomplished the goal I set for the day go? That voice is my version of Jillian Michaels, it’s not quite as mean, but it is what got me through some harsh running sessions. I miss it…I’m not sure how to get it back…I’m not even sure when I lost it…and more importantly, what does it mean that I lost it? Has some inner part of me given up? I know some days I feel like that, like I have given up on myself, my future, my goals. I don’t like the feeling, I don’t want to have given up but some days the fight just isn’t there and I don’t know how to get it back. Maybe just jumping in to my routine, starting back at dragon boat practice, just in general being more active will make me feel better about myself and that in turn will help me get that voice back? I dunno…I do know that I neeeeed that voice cause todays running session was lame in comparison to what I used to do. I’m a little lost…

So for now, since I don’t know what to do, I am going to start with the basics. I am going to be physically active everyday. I am going to eat healthier and do my best to follow the 80/20 rule. I am going to surround myself with motivational posters, youtube videos, phrases etc so that when I falter I can find inspiration where ever I am. I am going to research and reteach myself proper weight lifting form, create an actual strength routine so the next time I am in the gym it doesn’t matter if I blank because I will have something written down that tells me what to do. I am going to make this weight loss happen! I am going to find my inner voice! I am going to reteach myself how to fight! I am going to stop giving up and reach my goals! (I feel like I should make that marine noise they make in movies after all that lol)

 

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