Tag Archives: weight watchers

High Hopes

30 Dec

I started this trip with high hopes that I would actually post on a semi-consistent basis since I managed to post on my first full day here…obviously I got derailed. 😛

This post is going to be quick, and not all detail-ey (like my normal posts where I basically don’t shut up) because it is 1:40am and I have to be up at 8:15am to get washed, dressed, groomed and fed so I can go shopping. Any of you who are thinking ‘whatever it’s just a silly day of shopping’, well, first of all it’s only a morning of shopping and second, no it’s not just a silly day of shopping, you must be a boy. 😉

Shopping can be many things, it can be fun, it can be business like, it can be rushed, it can be pleasurable, it can be relaxing, it can be stressful, it can be an outting that you don’t want to end, it can be torture that feels like it will never end. Tomorrow is going to be a shopping trip with a close friend and we are hitting up all our favourite stores – so basically, I am going to one of my most favourite places in the world (WEM) and I get to hang there while shopping the Boxing Week sales with my friend JF, can’t get much better then that. 😀 The only sad part is she has kids (that’s not the sad part!) and she can only get a sitter for a couple hours so instead of a loooong drawn out shopping trip we will have to settle for a more condensed trip, but hey, we’re practically professional shoppers, we’ll make it work! lol

My eating hasn’t been all that great, I sorta try but I’m not tracking so mostly I’m fake-tracking in my head and I am well aware I am not remembering to count even half the goodies that end up in my mouth – damn Christmas goodies, how you taunt meeeee! 😉

However, everyday since Christmas Eve I have managed some sort of physical activity. This is my most active trip home since I moved away! Dec 24th and 25th I went for walks, nothing too strenuous but I felt better for having done at least some activity. Dec 26th I went to a Rec Centre where I can drop-in for only $6, I did an hour and a half of strenuous cardio and some weights (and of course stretching) and felt a-frickin-mazing for it! Dec 27th I walked an indoor track with my mom, did a couple miles on that. Dec 28th was the drop-in at the rec centre again, I was only able to do an hour of strenuous cardio that time due to time constraints but I figured an hour was better then nothing. 🙂 Dec 29th was not quite as impressive, I went ten-pin bowling lol, hey! activity is activity!

I am not tricking myself into thinking this activity is going to help me shed any pounds, it may (if I am freakishly lucky) help me to at least maintain…or stay close to what I started off with…which really, at this point, is all I can hope for lol.

I have lots that has happened so far this trip and can’t wait to blog about it but seriously people, I gotta go get some sleep so shopping tomorrow is fun and I’m not yawning through it lol.

Here’s a quick (not complete) list of things to look forward to:

– My first Weight Watcher meeting

– My switching to the new Weight Watcher program, how and why

– My eyeballs were paralyzed (not even kidding on this one)

– The 24hr stomach flu I want but can’t seem to catch

I’m sure there is more, I just can’t think of it right now…too much sugar has muddled my brain lol 😛

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I’m Being Frozen To Death

20 Dec

I may not survive the next two weeks, it’s just too cold for my poor body to deal with. As I type this I am staring mournfully at my empty tea cup, I held off drinking the tea as long as I could so I’d have the hot cup to hold but I so badly wanted the hot liquid inside me I of course caved and downed the tea. So now my tongue is a bit singed, my hands are blocks of ice and I have a delicate shivering taking over my body in what I suspect is going to be a permanent manner.

I am not a person meant for winter. I’m sorry to break this to my international readers but just because I was born and raised in Canada and am a proud Canadian this does not mean I like snow, ice, slush, cold temperatures or any of the other winter type conditions we deal with for over half the year. Brr!!! Give me tropical weather anyday!…no seriously, can somebody pay for me to go somewhere tropical so I can thaw out? 😉

The only plus side to dealing with this whole freezing to death thing is that I will die surrounded by my more hardy friends and family, ya know, those who didn’t move away and can still handle the winter weather without wanting to break down in tears. *rolls eyes*

What makes this whole thing worse is…it’s not even that frickin cold!!! Compared to where I live now it is, and it’s a different type of cold (don’t mock me, that actually matters! lol) and the longer I am away from here the less I can handle the cold. I could barely handle it when I did live here, so having even more trouble handling it, well, it sucks. 😛 But global warming is soooo in effect cause the weather that this city is having is nothing compared to what winter weather is normally like…it’s usually way worse…which is why I packed long underwear lol.

I can’t decide if this is going to be beneficial to my weight loss or not…on the one hand I am constantly shivering so that might help me to burn some extra calories. On the other hand I find I am constantly wanting to eat something, not out of hunger but out of an instinctive need to put on more body fat to help me survive the cold. Hey man, I didn’t come up with animal instincts, I am just driven by them…to a point lol. I’m drinking lots of tea in the hopes that will help me get warm, instead of snacking away like a crazed barbarian…cause ya know all those crazed barbarians totally had access to Christmas baking. 😉

On the food front, I had the yummiest dinner tonight, my mom made meatloaf and it is one of my fave dishes of hers. Yeah I know, meatloaf? I personally think meatloaf gets a lot of undeserved grief, my mom’s is great and I was so happy when I found out that is what she made for dinner. 😀 Heck, I’m already looking forward to the meatloaf sandwich I am hoping to have tomorrow for lunch. Mmm! It was a nice healthy meal, I had the meatloaf, veggies and two baby potatoes. Look at that, food groups! wOOt! lol

I have decided for this trip that while yes there are a lot of events and occaisions that I’d normally pig out at I don’t have to go crazy at every one of them. I have my birthday, then Christmas, then New Years and I gotta decide which of those events I want to splurge at and which to be more careful at. And really, even when I do splurge at one of those occaisions I can still splurge carefully thereby not derailing my weight loss…well, not completely derailing it lol, I’m aiming for maintaining while on this trip.

I think I should be able to get through the Christmas and New Years season without gaining weight, don’t you? If I make responsible choices and pay attention to what I put in my mouth that’ll go a long way to not gaining and I’m even hoping to get in some exercise while I’m at it, no guarantees on that though (due to access to facilities and my schedule, not due to laziness which admit it, some of you were thinking 😛 )

Course, by midway through this trip I may be saying “screw it, bring on the hot chocolate and cookies!” but for now I am optomistic I can keep a leash on my hand-to-cookie-to-mouth behaviour. 😀

 

 

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I Should Be Packing

19 Dec

I fly out tonight, headed back to my family and friends for the Christmas holidays and I soooo should be packing…instead I am typing this post, checking my facebook page, watching a movie and lounging on the couch lol. My poor mom would be freaking out if she was here and could see. She’s one of those organized people who starts sorting the stuff that is going to be packed days and days and days in advance and would have been all but done with the packing yesterday. Whereas I only got my suitcase out of the closet a couple hours ago…sometimes the apple not only falls far away from the tree it also rolls quite a distance lol 😀

I always figure it’ll all work out in the end so why freak out about it? shrug.

I had intended to go to the gym today, I haven’t been in an uber long time and I am feeling soft and flabby as a result but I was up stupid early after only getting about 4 hours of sleep to do an errand and when I got home to change for the gym I “accidentally” ended up back in bed lol. I was soooo tired I figured a little nap couldn’t hurt, right? Well, wrong. I woke up with the nastiest headache, ugh, so I’ve been doing stuff around the apartment but at a slower pace then normal cause I have this overwhelming urge to rip my head off. Stupid head. 😦

I got to try a new food today tho, yah for new food! I have no idea what the nutritional info is as it was bought for me and is a freshly made item so it doesn’t come with a list of ingredients or nutritional info, shrug.

It is called Chicken Roti. Ever had it? It’s a huuuuge wrap filled with chicken (duh), potatoes, some other veggies, and currey spices. YUM! It took forever to get it warm in the oven cause it’s massive and it just wasn’t heating through but I waited it out and it was worth it. I am not able to finish it all and I’m sad cause it’s so tasty. I had intended to cut it in half, freeze half and heat up the other half but I was told there was a currey inside and I thought that might mean it was runny and if I cut it in half to warm it up I thought it might make a huge mess. Turns out I was wrong, it’s not runny at all so I could have done that, sigh. Now I’m wondering if I can freeze it or will I risk poisoning myself via the chicken because I heated it up and then froze it and then heated it up again? I dunno…the chicken was already cooked so I think that means that’s ok but really, what do I know? lol I’ll freeze it and hope for the best! 🙂

I guess I should keep this short as I have to wrap some presents, finish the packing, shower and clean the apartment before being ready for my ride – thank goodness my flight isn’t until night time, if it had been any earlier in the day I think there’d be serious doubt as to me getting there on time lol. 😛

Oh! I’ll attempt to keep blogging on a semi-regular basis but it’s always hard when I’m in AB cause my parents don’t have wifi so to get online I have to be physically plugged in to the modem (weird right?) and the modem they have only has one jack so only one computer can be online at a time (even weirder huh?). So combine that with being pulled in twenty different directions at a time while in AB and that doesn’t leave much time for blogging, heck, I barely have time to check my email! But I’ll do my best! 🙂

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Sugar Overload

17 Dec

*groan* oooohhhhh my poor tummy, and taste buds, and fat cells *double groan*

The past couple days I have been Christmas baking, not for me, it’s all to give away but that doesn’t mean I haven’t nibbled myself into a sugar coma. It doesn’t help that my roomie also did some baking so I’ve been nibbling on her baking as well as my own. Now, nibbling on her baking makes sense to me but nibbling on my own? Weirdness! I never eat my own baking! But I dunno, this year, I have been nibbling. *shakes head*

So my roomie made Gingerbread cookies, I made: 2 coconut cakes (both with cream cheese icing), chocolate brownies with frosting, coconut cookies, meringue kisses…um, I think that’s it, like that isn’t enough? 😉 lol

So I’ve nibbled on the brownies, the coconut cookies, the first coconut cake and for sure the meringue kisses. The meringues are my absolute fave thing evah! My mom only ever made them at Christmas time so even though I am an adult and could make them whenever I want I only make them around Christmas time, makes them more of a treat this way I think. 🙂

But yeah, so yesterday I ate a bowl of cereal to get my day started and then all I ate after that was nibbles on various baking treats while I continued to keep on baking. Then today I was making icing and cake decorating, oh and brownie decorating lol, so I again started the day with a bowl of cereal and then ended up nibbling on various baked goods while I frosted and iced my way through the kitchen lol.

I did eventually eat “real food” somewhere around 8pm, I had sushi – something as far away from baked goodies as possible lol. I wasn’t actually hungry but I knew I had to eat something that wasn’t a cookie, brownie or meringue and I couldn’t face stepping back in my kitchen and cooking something so take-out it was!

The sushi was yummy, I got a phili roll and a yam roll and a veggie spring roll. Not the best choices but it’s a new sushi place (er, new to me, not new restaurant) so I wanted to stick with dishes I know how they should taste so that I could judge the yummy level of the food against other Japanese restaurants I’ve been to.  Make sense?

I really liked the food, the look of the restaurant, the people there, the menu options and how close the place is to me so I’m for sure gonna go back. 🙂 After I placed my order I noticed hand written signs on the walls advertising house specialty rolls that were all quite unique sounding, and since I love trying new foods I definitely want to go back and try some of them…well, ok, all of them lol. They have one that has a frozen filling that supposedly melts in your mouth! How awesome sounding is that?! 😀

In case you are wondering about the distribution of the baking, one cake was for my roomie and her friends for a Christmas party, the other cake was for my old landlord and his family, they also got some cookies, brownies and meringues (they are the nicest people ever and we still keep in touch), the rest of the cookies, brownies and meringues are being split between friends and my current landlady as presents. I’m fairly poor and can’t afford to get everybody awesome presents so I am supplementing my lame ass purchased presents with baked items cause well, as boastful as this sounds my baking rocks, shrug, and people love it and they always want it anyways so why not give it as presents?

I’m kinda worried people will feel I skimped out cause I didn’t buy stuff but I just can’t afford to buy everyone stuff…as much fun as giving presents can be isn’t it weird how it can also be quite stressful?

I’m now on a no-sugar kick cause seriously, I am so over sugared that the idea of eating anything sweet makes me feel icky inside 😛 I’m not gonna do some cleanse or anything, I’m not that freakin out about all the sugar I’ve been eating, but I am gonna stop eating the baking and any other goodies I come across for the next couple days or so…huh, I just realized that timeline puts me back to eating sugar type items right when I get back to AB lol, geez, you’d think I’d planned it lol 😉

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Well, I Tried, Kinda…

13 Dec

So after my not very fun last post I decided I need to stop screwing around and get with the program again, I don’t mean get with the Weight Watchers program specifically, more of getting with the Healthy Lifestyle I am trying to create for myself. Course, that being said yesterday I under ate again, *rolls eyes*, more out of habit then anything else I think…

Today I made an actual meal, a proper dinner, with food groups an everything! I haven’t done that in ages! I had a skinless boneless chicken breast, corn and green beans and cut up pan fried (with one of those healthy sprays not butter) sweet potato. See? Food groups! 😀

I know stomachs don’t actually shrink when we stop eating as much as we used to, they just get used to being filled to only a certain amount and apparently my tummy is not used to being filled by a proper dinner amount of food anymore cause I couldn’t finish my dinner. Oops. I ate most of it but some of the veggies ended up in the fridge, along with some of the chicken…I managed to eat all the sweet potato, shocking huh? 😉 lol

This might seem like a great step towards eating normal, healthy portions again buuuuuut that’s pretty much all I have eaten today. I had part of a pear for breakfast but it tasted funny so I stopped eating it, that’s totally my fault as it’s been in the fridge quite a while lol. After the pear I had 3 peach halves from a can of fruit I opened the other day, which, really, is like eating 1.5 peaches so that’s pretty good, right? Maybe? Sorta? teehee Um, anything else? Oh yeah, I had a spoon with a bit of light peanut butter on it and a bit of nutella on it, lol. Normally I would at least of put that on some bread but I have run out of bread and am contemplating not buying more since I go out of town in 6 days. I know I could put it in the freezer before I leave and that way I will have bread when I get back but I dunno, just hasn’t happened yet, shrug.

I figure eating a proper meal is a good step towards eating properly again, now I just have to manage to do that more often then not lol.

I didn’t get to the gym today but I did spend a good couple hours scouring the kitchen. See, the people who lived here before us apparently didn’t mind living in filth, ugh, and since my roomie an I are not the most on the ball people when it comes to unpacking, organizing and cleaning we are still working to make this place pretty…or at least sanitary lol. I thought she’d be a lot more “we must clean! we must clean!” cause of her daughter but nope. Of the two of us it seems like the mess here bothers me way more then her but I refuse to do all the cleaning, and organizing, and setting up in the shared rooms when it should be an equal work shared situation, in my opinion anyways.

Well, people are coming over tomorrow evening and she swore she was coming home today to do some massive cleaning in the living room etc. I figured I’d be nice and clean the kitchen…uh, I guess I should admit my car insurance guy was coming over today to give me the papers for the new year and I didn’t want every room he saw to be messy so I figured clean the kitchen and dining room areas and keep him sorta confined there and I wouldn’t be so embarassed lol.

I digress, oops. The point of all this is that sure I didn’t get to the gym but I was moving the fridge and the stove and on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor, cleaning every surface, moving stuff around to make the kitchen look neater, I was working not just sitting on the couch reading a book and chilling with the cat…much to the cats dismay I might add. He kept looking at me like “what the hell are you doing woman? this is our cuddle time!” lol, poor cat. I wouldn’t say I earned any kind of impressive amount of exercise points but I was slightly active, so yet another step towards getting back on track with my Healthy Lifestyle. Woohoo!

On a totally different note:

I received a comment on my blog from a girl named Amanda who is working on her doctoral dissertation, she needs volunteers to do an annonymous survey about if your partner undermines your weight loss. I followed the link she put in her comment and it seems to go to a legit page. When you’ve done the survey you can enter a draw to win $100. I don’t meet the criteria for the survey (you have to be in a current relationship for min 2 years and be on your weight loss journey for 5 consecutive weeks) but doesn’t mean some of you might not want to participate and be eligible, shrug.  Here is her link:  http://tinyurl.com/Clark-Study.  I kinda wish I could read the dissertation as the topic is interesting.

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Where’d The Time Go?

11 Dec

No, I am not dead, missing, working full time, quitting my blog, abducted by aliens or anything else you might have come up with in the time I have been gone from my blog lol. 😀

I am just a lazy schmuk who couldn’t think of a thing to write about so I didn’t write. shrug. Nobody wants to read a post about how I slept in, went to the gym, didn’t track my food or exercise points so have no idea how I did for the day and then hung out with friends in the evening, heck, it’s my life and I’m not particularly interested in it some days lol 😛

Everyday that nothing of interest happens and I don’t post I think “tomorrow, I will for sure post tomorrow” and then tomorrow rolls around and I don’t post and I think “tomorrow” again and then all of a sudden it’s been 2 weeks and I’ve written nothing and I’m almost afraid to log back in to wordpress cause what if the people who follow me quit following me and now my blog is (metaphorically speaking) taking up space in the closet of rejected blogs that I imagine is on the wordpress server somewhere gathering dust? Depressing.

Looks like my talent for a loooong run on sentence has not been hampered by my non-writing for the past two weeks though…gee, aren’t we all glad about that? 😉 lol

I’d love to be able to tell you that something amazing, momentous, fabulous, exciting, heck, even mildly funny happened in the past little while but it has not…life has entered, not a rut buuuut a little cycle of monotony and dare I say…boredom? Which even saying that isn’t right cause I’m not really bored, just not doing anything super post worthy. I guess this is what happens when you are unemployed, can’t afford to do anything and trying to stay in as much as possible to (1) keep the cat company and (2) save money. sigh.

I haven’t been tracking, I’ve been a renegade Weight Watcher mwahaha (that’s my evil laugh, aren’t I so bad? 😉 ). I haven’t weighed in for over a month either. Oh, and while I’m being all confessional my work out routine is sooo not dependable, some weeks I go 3 times or more, other weeks I’m lucky if I go once.

Why have I stopped following all the guidelines and rules and plans? Especially when I know they work? I’m not totally sure…I mean, I kinda know but I’m sure there is more going on then I am aware of. I find it takes the passage of time and the ability to look back on a period of my life that gives me the best insight in to figuring out what the heck was going on with me at that point. Too bad I can’t fast-forward, find out, then rewind back to here and have the knowledge lol. Time travel anyone?

I’m not eating properly, I know this, and yet I don’t track so that I can hold myself accountable and stop what I am doing with my diet. You might be thinking I’m over eating so much I’m embarassed and am fast approaching the Good Year Blimp size but you’d be wrong, I’m actually under eating…not good! In my head I know it’s not good, but, also in my head I think it’s ok. My head is screwy. lol. I shouldn’t joke, for some people this is a serious problem, I’m hoping for me it’s a temporary thing…

I don’t under eat everyday, for instance, today I over ate, great huh? If I am meeting up with friends for a meal I am eating around my daily points that day because I am ordering healthy when I go out and compensating for the restaurant food by being super duper strict the rest of the day. The exception to that would be this evening when I went to a Thai restaurant for a friends birthday dinner. I wanted to get the black cod, it sounded super healthy and yummy but was over $20 for the dish, I so can’t afford that, instead I ended up with the Pad Thai for $12, I love Pad Thai so this was not a sad swap taste-bud wise but no way in hell is that dish healthy *rolls eyes* so today I definitely over ate. erg.

But see, I under ate quite a bit for the past, oh, three or four days (and I exercised) so in my head I feel that things should somehow balance out…and yes, I know that is not how it works!

On days I under eat I don’t feel like I am being deprived so I don’t really notice that I’m not eating properly or enough food unless someone points it out…although lately, when going to bed I feel hungry so I suppose the lack of food is starting to make my stomach mad lol. I also get some perverse feeling of strength when I am hungry at night, like “look at me and my rockin willpower that I didn’t cave and eat more food” and when I am eating I am eating smaller portions and that weird perverse feeling of strength kicks in then too, like “look how awesome I am I’m not eating more then this small portion, I’m so strong when it comes to food”.  And don’t even get me started on what goes on in my head when I am exercising! *rolls eyes*

I know part of why I am not eating as much is because I so desperately wanted to be at my goal weight when I went home for Christmas, but it’s not happening. 😦 I was back in AB last summer and people were all “you look so great!” an such, which was awesome to hear but when I look in the mirror I don’t see how much I have lost, I see how much I have left to lose. I see the flaws, the flab, the non toned body, the areas I am still ashamed of, I see all of the fat. I thought by now I’d be there, I thought I’d be maintaining and not still trying to lose, I thought I’d be able to go home and show off how I look and say “hey! look! I actually did it! I got to my goal weight!” instead I will be going back looking the same as when I was there in the summer. Same clothing size, heck same clothes, same points per day allowed for food, same comment about how I’m still working to get to my goal weight and am hoping to be there soon (all said in a falsly cheerful tone to every single person I hang with cause they all ask), same me.  Aren’t I supposed to be the super improved skinny version of me by now?

I know that not eating messes up my metabolism, I know it makes it harder to lose weight. I know that compensating for this by pushing myself extra hard in the gym is not the right approach. I also know that this is what I have been doing the past couple weeks. I started the under eating cause I was sick, once I got better I kept it up and added exercise to push my body into losing faster. It’s not working. I know it’s not working cause my clothes still all fit the same and I look the same and I know that I shouldn’t of expected some great change to happen in a measly two weeks but I’m so sick of looking like this, sick of this plateau, sick of people asking me how much farther till I reach my goal and my having the same answer as last time they asked. Sick of thinking just this many more fucken pounds and I will be happy. As if reaching a certain number on the scale guarantees personal happiness? I also know that is not right.

It would appear what I know and what I deep down believe are two very different things and I don’t know how to get them to reconcile in my head. As long as I was losing weight I was able to follow the Weight Watcher plan because it was working and I could see a difference so that change of number on the scale helped me to not revert back to bad weight loss habits. Even before the move, when I was still following Weight Watcher’s properly I had been plateaued for such a long time I was massively discouraged. That plateau, combined with other things, has gotten me to a point where subconsciously I seem to be saying “screw the healthy way, take the extreme way cause at least you know in the end that’ll work whereas Weight Watcher’s has failed you”. But Weight Watcher’s didn’t fail me, I failed the program by not being able to get past the plateau, regardless of who failed who I am still stuck at this current weight and going home in 8 days looking like this.

And wow, didn’t this post get dark fast? *rolls eyes*

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Things I Don’t Even Think About Anymore

22 Nov

I was texting with a friend today who lives in AB, she’s one of my closest friends and it sucks that we live far apart now…yeah yeah, I know, it’s my fault since I’m the one that moved but whatever. So, NH is someone who matters so so so much to me but she is driving me abso-frickin-lutely nuts in one aspect of life and there is nothing I can do about it, arg!

NH is quite large, she’s always been a bit bigger, nothing horrible but over the past couple years she’s gone from being a bit bigger to being so large that I fear for her health. She’s about half a year older then me so she’s in her early 30’s and all I think when I see her is she’s gonna be a statistic for young(-ish) women who die early from obesity related medical problems. I hate it! I want to shake her and make her take better care of herself, I want to breath down her neck 24/7 and insist she make better food and activity choices, I want to be rich so I can hire a platoon of dieticians and trainers and life coaches and force her to get healthier. I don’t care about her size for any reason except for how it affects her health and I care about her health because I am selfish, she is my friend and I want her around for a long long time but the rate she’s going I’ll lose her earlier then needed and then I’ll have to bring her back to life so I can smack her around and well, that’ll just be messy…and weird…

She’s large enough that her doctor prescribed her some weight loss pills that are freakin hard to get without her even asking for them, the doctor saw she needed to lose weight and seemed to think putting her on medication to help jump start the process was the way to go. I could have told her to save the ink with which she wrote the prescription cause I know NH, I know she won’t take those pills and I was right, sadly. She says she kept forgetting or not getting around to it, she also is a big user of the phrase “I’ll start on Monday”, the amount of times she told me she was gonna start taking those pills the following Monday is ridiculous…and she never took any of them. I don’t judge her for not taking the pills, a lot of people are uncomfie with diet pills, but she didn’t take them because she doesn’t want to face her weight or that she should lose some of it, she is really good at just ignoring what she doesn’t like…and really, I can’t judge her for that either cause I am the same way lol

I had a little tiny light of hope inside me that if I lost enough weight on Weight Watchers she’d see the difference when I visit, and hear me speak about how easy the program is and she’d realize she could do it too. I guess I was hoping I’d lead by example…stupid. No matter how many times I’ve visited, how many times she’s seen me getting smaller, how many times I talk about my healthier eating and portion control, how many times I suggest we do active things when I am visiting,  none of it matters, she just keeps going on the path she is on.

So, back to today when we were texting, I was on a bus and I made a comment about how some guy on there had KFC and it smelled oh so good and oh well it’s too bad I don’t eat fast food anymore. Not that I was a huge KFC fan back before my Weight Watchers days, it’s more like I knew back then I had the option whereas now I don’t consider them an option no matter what the circumstance, they are just gone from my list-of-places-to-get-food-from-list that is in my head. Her comment was that I had good willpower lol. I responded saying somedays it was hard but the only fast food I allow myself is Subway and it’s always a 6″, always on the 9 grain bread and always from the low cal sub options (usually the turkey, loaded with veggies, topped with mustard and half the normal amount of the light mayo), I stressed the subs are always so tasty and I’d rather eat that then something from McD’s etc that will leave me feeling ick even though I really miss McD’s, *big epic sigh*

That got me thinking though, about how rules I created for myself when I was starting Weight Watchers have become so ingrained I don’t even think about them anymore. I used to have to work really hard to avoid the fast food places, especially McD’s – they are a huuuuge weakness of mine. But over time, I stopped having to work at it, I just don’t go to those places anymore. If I am out and get hungry and can’t make it back home so I can make my own meal I don’t think “oh, guess I’ll pick up a burger!” I either starve till I get home, buy a bottle of water, get gum or go to Subway. I also got in to a habit of packing little snacks in my purse and a bottle of water if I am going to be out for longer then a couple hours as a just-in-case…that has saved me so many times! lol But see, there is another rule, the bring-food-with-me rule that I don’t even think about anymore, I just do it.

Some other rules I automatically follow are: get off the bus early and walk a bit extra, have half my dinner plate be veggies, use the small plate not the big plate for my meals, drink more water then anything else (sometimes I swap out tea for this but come on, tea is water…with flavour! lol), when I eat out get them to automatically box up half the meal before it’s even brought to me, put salad dressings etc on the side and dip my fork in, order from the healthy section of the menu, eat fish before chicken and chicken before beef and beef before pork and veggies before all of those, have a little nibble everyday of something that tempts me so I don’t feel deprived (I buy Weight Watchers 1 point little chocolate bite sized thingys – they are like baby peppermint patties and baby bounty bars, omg so yum!)

I made these rules so I wouldn’t screw up when I was first starting out on my weight loss journey, now I don’t consider them rules, just ways of being, ways of living, shrug. My friends that I hang out with all the time know I will sit with them if they want to grab a bite to eat somewhere unhealthy but I won’t eat there. I’m perfectly happy to sit and chill while they chow down on some McD’s or Burger King or whatever just as long as they are ok with stopping at Subway afterwards so I can grab a bite. This works for us, and hasn’t caused an issue yet, which is nice. 🙂

I wonder, what rules I live by now that in a years time I will no longer consider rules but ways of living…kinda makes me want to come up with some snazzy new rules just to see how long they last lol. 😛

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Those Sooooo Weren’t Healthy

13 Nov

I had the most oddly delish pancakes today, Mmm!Mmm!Mmm! 😀

I went for brunch and got Pear and Coconut Pancakes – pear and coconut infused pancakes, topped with sauteed pears, a lime mascarpone cream and drizzled with house made vanilla syrup. There were 4 nice an thick pancakes on the plate when it was served – can anyone say “goodbye flex points and daily points!” oh, don’t forget to wave madly as the points go bye-bye lol. 😉

After eating 2 of them nice n slow so I could savour them I was stuffed, hmm, that should be Stuffed with a capital S cause man I was sooooooo stuffed. After two pancakes! Crazed! I was grateful though cause not like those suckers are good for me in any way. lol. I ate the remaining 2 later in the evening for dinner and that was my entire food allotment for the day…not including a hot chocolate (so shoot me, it was chilly out!), a cup of tea, some diet coke and now some water…least I got some fluids in there…right?

I just did a points check on the pancakes and frankly, I think I was better off not knowing – what the hell does the restaurant put in those things? OMG. The fiber is 5, so yah! The calories are 1170, so holy F! And the Fat is 56, kill me, *groan*. That is a whopping 27 points, 27! It’s like I can feel my arteries clogging up a little bit more with each passing minute and my ass getting wider the longer I sit here and type. *double groan*

How do people go to brunch every week and not get obese? ugh.

We did go for a walk after brunch, we were both full and wanted to walk it off a bit, it was a very slow walk, we didn’t go all that far and we stopped and just watched the boats on the water and the moutains in the distance for a good chunk of it…so really, I guess we didn’t walk so much as meandered then paused then meandered to the little shop we got our hot chocolate from lol. Does meandering count in the battle to burn off the amazingly high amount of calories just eaten? I feel it should but I’m pretty certain that is wishful thinking lol. 😉

I had intended to exercise in the afternoon but that didn’t happen, sigh, so I’m for sure gonna hafta do something tomorrow to make up for this disaster. *rolls eyes* I hate make-up-for-disaster-food-days exercise routines, they are always harder, double sigh.

I haven’t really started tracking yet even though my life is getting a little bit more settled since the move…the oven still doesn’t work, huh, just remembered that, I’ll hafta call the building manager tomorrow…but despite the slightly more settled aspect to my life I am still not tracking, still not exercising (except for boxing twice a week – and only once last week cause of the holiday) and still not eating properly…I know this even though I am not tracking cause I am at least sorta trying to track in my head and everyday I know I am not doing a very good job food wise. blarg.

I think tomorrow will have to be a fresh start, I’ll start tracking again, start making healthier food choices, start exercising in some manner everyday…just start doing all the things I know I am supposed to be doing but stopped cause of the move.

So, since tomorrow is a fresh start I think I will no longer regret those yummy pancakes, they were unknowingly my last hurrah before getting down to the serious business of making myself thinner before I go home for Christmas! Only 36 more days…crap! Only 36 more days??? I didn’t realize it was so close! This really is crunch time! lol 😉

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Never Ending Books

7 Nov

I am a reader – I blame this on my parents. I also blame my freakishly good manners, my willingness to try pretty much any new food and activity and my love of tea on them but those are beside the point. lol. 😉

I grew up in a household where it was common to hear the sentence “go and play” or even the almost unheard of today “go outside and play”…yup, that is right, I was not raised by the tv or by video games or by computers, I was raised by my parents and the automatic assumption I had a brain and imagination and could therefore entertain myself for hours on end. It was a good system. 🙂  I have so many fun memories of me playing with other kids, me playing with my toys by myself, just of me playing and really, isn’t that what childhood is supposed to be about?

Not all of my childhood was playing, obviously, I mean I did have to go to school, and do chores and be a brat lol. But something else my parents did for me that I’m not sure is being done for children quite as often anymore is instill in me a love for reading. I got books as presents, my parents would read to me all the time, we went to the library often, heck, in the summers I joined the kids reading club where you were challenged to read certain amounts of books from different genres and you earned stamps in a little booklet to show when you reached certain checkpoints in the challenge. That love of reading has intensified the older I get and I realized when unpacking and setting up my bookshelves that I am a book hog. Yup, that’s right, I own a freakish amount of books considering the amount of space I have to store them.

I am a firm believer in re-reading a book, after all, if a book is good than it is good enough to be re-read and with some books the more you read them the more you get from them. Like Memoirs of a Geisha (which I read before it was made popular via the movie thank you very much 😉 ) I swear, everytime I re-read that book I notice some new detail, I enjoy even more the poetry that is used to create the story, it’s a beautifully written book and so many images are invoked in my brain while I read it. I can see so clearly in my head visions that match what I am reading (there goes that imagination again) that it’s like watching a movie of the book without all the missing parts and added scenes you get in actual movie adaptations.

This wonderous love of reading, the enjoyment I get from a story…this I blame on my parents…and if you follow my logic here that means I can also blame them for the freakish amount of books I now own and the fact that everytime I finish unpacking a box with books in it and finally figure out a way to fit them on my bookshelf and am so happy I am done with that section of my new apartment set-up I manage to find yet another box full of books! You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I’ve opened up a box over the past couple days and sworn in a manner befitting a sailor (or perhaps pirate?) because I’ve found even more books!

I can’t be mad at the books though, at those wonderful pages filled with all those interesting characters that provide me with some mixture of entertainment, education, suspense, horror, joy, wonder and more. So, instead, I will blame the parents…and perhaps my inability to not buy what I am always sure will be a good book! 😉

On the Weight Watcher’s front I have essentially stopped tracking. 😦 Not on purpose, exactly, more out of sheer frustration. My kitchen is still not set up, sigh, my roomie finally moved her stuff in this past Saturday but then left immediately so we did no set up. She came back today but only worked on her room. She says she is coming back tomorrow but we shall see…In case you’re wondering why I don’t just set it up myself it’s cause she assured me she has just as much kitchen stuff as I do so we have to go through both of our kitchen inventories to see what we should use of whose and what should be packed away and put in storage cause there isn’t room in the kitchen. There is no point is me setting up the kitchen with all my stuff just to have to take it all out of the cupboards again, shrug.

As a result, this means my kitchen scale is still packed so I can’t weigh my food (driving me nuuuuuts!), most of my measuring items (spoons, jugs etc) are also packed, I have a couple out cause I found them randomly stuffed in the box with my plates when I unpacked those but not a full set so sometimes I can measure sometimes I can’t…and the counters are so cluttered that I feel as if I can barely move in there.

Oh, and the stove still doesn’t work so I can’t even cook properly lol. I’m existing off of frozen dinners, grilled cheese sandwiches and crackers mostly…oh! and cereal! Yum huh?

One other reason I am not tracking is because I am fairly certain I am undereating everyday, sigh, not on purpose just by happenstance. shrug. When I tally in my head at the end of the day what I ate it’s usually rather pathetic, breakfast is generally two pieces of weetabix with unmeasured milk (the horrors!), my next meal will be a frozen dinner (healthy ones tho, so those steamer things or lean cuisine), and if I get hungry later on a grilled cheese sandwich or some yogurt – so somewhere around 14 points or so per day when I am supposed to be eating 20…plus the physical exertion of moving furniture, setting up furniture, unpacking etc.

I don’t know how this will affect my weight loss, it might falsly bring my weight down because I have less food in my system or it might make it bounce higher cause my body might be freaking out and holding on to it’s fat thinking it’s being starved…I doubt the starved thing cause when I feel hungry I eat so I’m not ignoring my body’s signals to get food, I’m just not eating as healthily as I did before the move…hopefully my body understands and forgives me for this – sooner rather than later! lol 😉

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Moving Is Making Me Fat(er)!

3 Nov

O.M.G. Moving has royally screwed up my eating and exercising, to the point that the other day I had to lay down and have a bit of a nap cause my body felt ill from all the crap I’d been eating and lack of exercise and proper hydration.

I didn’t move far, just another section of the city I was already in but you’d think I’d move to the other side of the world for all the weirdness this move has had. *rolls eyes* Let’s start at the beginning shall we?

I rented a one tonne truck that I was going to drive myself and had some totally awesome friends there to help me load and unload all my crap. However, one of the people who was supposed to help I requested not come (due to some personal issues that would take up waaaaay too much space here, short version is he’s a jackass who is mean to everybody and I wasn’t willing to expose my other friends to him…and no he’s not my friend, he’s the bf of one of my close friends) so I had two other friends who were coming instead of him. (They are so sweet, I told them what the jackass had said to me a previous evening and that I was super upset by it and they immediately said they’d help me move so I wouldn’t need the jackass.) So anyways, I was still having my wonderful insomnia, ugh, and the night before the move couldn’t get to sleep, which was probably for the best cause I still had to finish packing, yup, I’m that girl! lol. My mother would have been horrified at the state of my apartment so close to moving day 😛

I forced myself to lay down for 2 hours and try to get some rest before I had to get up and showered etc before heading out to pick up the truck. Can I say, starting my crazed early morning experiencing abject terror cause of having to drive a huge ass moving truck is not something I want to do again soon. *shudder* I got back to my place and started moving little things while waiting for my friends to show, they were all supposed to be there at 9am but only one was on time lol, the rest trickled in but that’s ok, they were all there by 9:30am. What I didn’t realize is there would be so many people who thought they knew the best way to load a truck…HW has truck loading experience and knows the best way to load everything, IN has helped oh so many people move and knows the best way to load a truck, my landlord came out and he drives trucks for a living so he knows for sure the best way to pack everything in there *rolls eyes* Too many cooks in the kitchen! At one point all us girls just stood there and watched as all three guys were in the truck ordering each other on the best way to stack boxes. Men – too funny. lol. 😛

While the sitch was entertaining it was also stressful cause I had the truck for a very limited time and if I was late then I had to pay an additional $150 and I sooooo don’t have that kind of money! eek! Oh, and I was also running on one cup of tea and that was it, I didn’t have time to eat anything so I was kinda hungry. I managed to grab a granola bar that I saw sitting in the top of a bag as it was being loaded in to the truck around 10am or so…I was up at 6am so my tummy was not all that impressed with what I finally gave it lol.

Anyways, we got the truck to the new place and started unloading, luckily I am on the main floor and at the front of the building so for taking stuff into the new place we set a ladder in front of the balcony and had one person on the balcony and other people passing stuff up to them, made it go a lot faster.

Unfortunately, the painter who was supposed to be done on the Friday was not done so we were moving my stuff in while he was painting, awesome huh? We couldn’t let anything touch any walls so stuff was stacked horribly in the middle of any room we were able to get in to past his painting gear…all my careful labelling of what room each box was supposed to go in wasted, sigh.

We were running behind schedule so my epically awesome friends unloaded everything super fast to the yard in front of the building and said they’d take everything else in and for me to take back the truck so I am not late – how great are they?  😀 I was late getting the truck back but I used the lighting up of a warning light on the dash as my excuse, I pulled the scared innocent female routine and told them the light scared me so I drove slower cause *tilts head*big liquid eyes* “isn’t that what you are supposed to do?” Hey! Don’t judge! I will do what I need to! lol. 😉 fyi…it worked. 😀 Oh! sidenote, I didn’t damage, crash, hit, scratch or do anything else bad to the truck – I got me some mad truck driving skills! lol

After that I went to the old place to clean it but was so so so hungry I just had to get something to eat. I would have gotten Subway except I’d had them for dinner the night before and also there is this fish n chip shop that I love and never go to cause hello? battered and deep fried fish? yeah, so not healthy, sigh. But I figured I was gonna be living so far from it from now on I’d never go back, sadness, so one last time wouldn’t kill me. I got a two piece cod and chip meal, YUM!!! 😀

The plan was to clean the entire place then go back to the new place to dig out my halloween costume and go par-tay…my plans don’t often work out though and this was no exception. 😛 The vacuum stopped working cause the bag was full but all the replacement bags were at the new place, it was taking way longer then expected to get everything cleaned and frankly, I was tired so moving slower then normal. When the vacuum stopped working I used it as an excuse to leave for the day, go to the new place and ran in to the painter who was still painting! He said he was gonna leave at 5pm and finish tomorrow morning but then decided to stay until he was done that evening and I made a joke about how if he’d come back tomorrow he’d of woken me up to which he was shocked cause he was told we were moving stuff in early (we had permission) but that no one was living here till monday…crap. Where else was I supposed to sleep, all my stuff was here! I muttered something about crashing at a friends house and left, so I had no costume cause with him there I couldn’t go searching for it or get ready there, I was falling asleep on my feet and I couldn’t legally stay where my stuff was…double crap. I had to kill time until the painter left so I went to a Tim Horton’s drive through got a tea and a muffin, ate it while sitting in the suv and texting with friends and then drove back and hung out in my suv in my apartment parking lot just waiting…Lame! What’s lamer is I was so tired I fell asleep in my suv, thank goodness a friend texted me and my phone woke me up lol.

So all stealth like I snuck back in to the apartment once the painter was gone, put the couch together, grabbed a throw cushion and crashed. Luckily my couch is freakishly comfy. But I had to get up uber early just in case the landlady or the painter came in so I didn’t get all that much sleep – and it sucks I had to miss the halloween party! Although, I’m thinking with how tired I was I’d of had one drink and been done lol.

I spent all of Sunday cleaning the old place and working on the new one and really, since then everyday is me working on the new place. It’s taking longer then you might think cause I’m the only one here to move furniture and some of it is heavy and I can’t set up common area rooms properly cause my roomie hasn’t moved her stuff in yet – she’s having major issues getting her move organized, eek.

So to recap why I am getting fatter: Since Thursday I have eaten at Subway once, Fish n Chip shop once, Tim Horton’s 3 times (muffins and a sandwich) a restaurant’s burger and fries once (a real restaurant not fast food but still epic bad burger, it has coleslaw on it!), one medium pizza, numerous granola bars, oh and a toaster strudel. And how many times did I exercise since Thursday? Once! And that was yesterdays boxing class cause I was so desperate to work out that nothing could have kept me away! It’s amazing though how much better I felt physically and emotionally after boxing class. 🙂 I know one class isn’t going to make up for all the food damage I had inflicted while moving but still, I felt energized, thinner, healthier, just all around better! I must be deranged or something… 😉

You may be wondering why the heck I ate out so so so much instead of cooking? Well, for the first couple days I was techinically squatting in the apartment so I couldn’t have it looking like I was staying there, that and my mattress was in the kitchen and blocking the fridge and stove lol. Then I got the mattress out but all my kitchen stuff was packed so I had nothing to cook with. Then I finally unearthed some stuff and opened the stove and was so horrified I closed it right back up. Apparently the people before me didn’t believe in cleaning, soooooo gross! But the one cleaning product I don’t own is oven cleaner so I had to wait to buy some of that. Ridonkulous!

But finally, I have oven cleaner, decent access to the kitchen and some pots and pans and plates and bowls unpacked so tomorrow I will hopefully be able to cook in my kitchen…don’t hold out hope though, I’ve got no skills at cleaning ovens so I may be microwaving my food…which is ok cause I bought some microwave dinners today just in case! lol 🙂

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