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Harder Then Usual

22 Mar

Do you ever have a day where your energy is lower than normal and you just have no motivation to do anything, let alone exercise? That was me today, blerg.

I’m not sure what happened…I woke up, had no energy, but hey, its morning who has energy in the morning? Only crazy people that’s who! lol I figured I’d be fine once I ate but no-go with that. I ate, waited a half hour, went to the gym and I swear I thought I was gonna fall off the treadmill when running my sprints – now that would have been embarrassing! 😛

Normally my cardio days are my “better days” at the gym, not because I’m necessarily better at cardio then weights it’s more that at least on cardio days I know for sure what I’m doing and am not worrying about my form or forgetting something. Plus, I’m not having to deal with the funny looks from the guys in the free weight area who always start off smirking at me like it’s a joke I’m lifting weights and then turn to contemplation as they realize I’m using 20lbs weights for some of my moves and seem to actually know what I’m doing. *rolls eyes*

But today, even as I started on the treadmill I knew it was gonna be hard, my yawning was a good indication of that lol and the fact that getting my legs to move at even a light warm-up jog pace was seriously hard work.

Here’s what I do when running on cardio days:

I jog for 3 minutes to warm up at 4 mph, then I sprint for 30 seconds at a pace of  9 mph, then I go back to jogging at 4 mph for 1.5 minutes, then I sprint at 9 mph for another 30 seconds…it keeps repeating like that but eventually my sprints get up to a speed of 9.5 mph. After I have sprinted 8 times I cool down. In total I’m on the treadmill for 20 minutes – not too shabby, right? Well, every cardio day I have to do better then the cardio day prior, on Monday I did 4 sprints at 9 mph and 4 sprints at 9.5 mph so today I should have done 4 at 9 mph, 3 at 9.5 mph and 1 at 10 mph but it soooo didn’t happen. 😛 Since I was really having to push to stay on the treadmill at 9.5 mph I was certain if I upped the speed on the last sprint I’d be screwed…and embarrassed when I fell…and possibly injured. 😉

I was mad at myself when I got off the treadmill, mad I wasn’t able to somehow magically push myself to do that final sprint at a speed of 10 mph, mad I almost didn’t make it through the last sprint at 9.5 mph, mad that instead of enjoying the run like I usually do my head was filled with negative thoughts about how tired I was, how I just couldn’t do this today, how I felt like I was gonna throw up, how I should just skip the run cause hey, nobody will know, *rolls eyes* Sure, if nobody asked me how my run went nobody would know if I skipped it, except…I would know, and talk about screwing myself up for next cardio day…if I can’t make it through my run today then on Friday I’d have that in my head, the mentality that I can’t do it anymore, it’s too much for me, I’m too slow or too weak or too lazy or too fat or too something and then not only would I be working to keep pace with the treadmill I’d be fighting an even harder battle against my own brain and it’s negative thoughts – I’m not sure that’s a battle I know I can win.

NC says a big part of pushing yourself at the gym is getting past all the bullshit in your head, pushing past what your brain says is your limit, he also says the days you don’t want to go are the days you have to go. Anybody can work out on a day they feel great, have loads of energy and are psyched for it. But to go and push yourself in the gym on a day where the planets aren’t all perfectly aligned and you’re not in the perfect place/mood to exercise, those are the days that show you what you can make yourself do, that’s when you see your strength and get past your mental blocks.

I don’t know that I actually got past a mental block today, I barely made it through that last sprint, and since I didn’t up the speed I feel like a bit of a failure, at the same time, I know if I had upped the speed I wouldn’t have made it through the entire 30 second sprint, so, isn’t it better to do the sprint at 9.5 and do the entire 30 seconds instead of go at a speed of 10 but only make it to say 15 seconds? Although! Maybe that’s my mental block? Maybe if I had pushed it to 10 I would have found some deep well of energy or perseverance or pig-headedness that would have helped me force my way through the 30 seconds, crap, now I really wish I’d tried the 10 mph…

I’m not sure why I bottomed out today energy wise, I have been eating according to my food plan this week, no cheating! Yah! Which means I’m getting lots of protein (119.9g today), a decent amount of fat (47.9g today), low-ish carbs (113.4 g today, ok fine, higher then they should be by 13.4 grams, so shoot me! 😛 ), I’m staying hydrated, I’m following all the rules so, what gives? If following the rules means I’m gonna lose all my energy mid week and suck at cardio then I’m screwed cause as we all know from my performance at the gym today, I’m not so great at pushing through to new achievements when I have no energy, is anybody? Maybe I’m just extraordinarily lazy, well ok, yeah I am, but I mean even more lazy then even I realized – which would be scary lol 😀

I just don’t know, I’m kinda at loose ends about what happened, about why I tanked out energy wise, about why I didn’t force myself to try the 10 mph. Sure, it’s easy to blame the not running at 10 mph on the whole no energy thing, but is that a cop out? Could I have done it if I’d tried and not let myself convince myself I wouldn’t be able to do it? I know when I was on the treadmill running, coming up to that last sprint I knew without a doubt I couldn’t run it at 10 mph, that I didn’t have enough left in me to make it…but now that it is hours later I’m filled with self doubt…I hate self doubt, it’s such a downer. 😛

Guess I’ll just have to push even harder on Friday (my next cardio day) and see if I can make it to 10 mph that day, no! Not see if I can! I Can! I will make it! Look out 10 mph, you’re miiiiine! (maybe if I start psyching myself up for it now it’ll be easier to overcome the mental block on Friday? lol 😉 )

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Chicken For Breakfast?

21 Mar

I write this while sitting on a uber comfy living room chair, laptop on my lap (shocking place for it huh? lol) with my left arm pinned to my body by my roomie’s cat…oh, and don’t go thinking my right arm is free to do as it pleases, there is a paw resting on my arm with claws lightly touching my skin – those claws start to actually sink into my skin whenever the cat decides he needs a little scratch behind his ears or a cuddle…I’m pretty sure he’s training me…and what’s sad is it’s working!

Last week I went in to my bedroom, turned on the light and started looking in my dresser for a shirt when I glanced over at my bed and saw the cat laying along the edge of my pillow, head raised glaring at me since obviously my entering my room had disturbed him…wanna know what I did/said? I apologized! Yup, that’s right, first words outta my mouth were “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were sleeping” then I gave him a little cuddle. I’m pretty sure he smirked at me and then cracked a whip. *shakes head*

What do these stories have to do with my weight loss? Absolutely nothing, lol, just thought you’d enjoy them. 😉

To the food! I am trying to increase the amount of protein I eat per day since it’s an area I have always sucked at. It’s not that I don’t like meat, I am definitely not a vegetarian, it’s just, well, I don’t like cooking meat – it’s icky, and I always think I am going to poison myself lol. With all the exercise I am doing now I really need to make sure I get enough protein per day to keep building my muscles and supply my body with energy so this means I have to actually cook and eat more meat, sigh.

At first I was eating fish steaks, bought from M&M’s Meat Shop, they are individually packaged, wild salmon, have a variety of sauce flavours, so easy to cook even I can do it, yummy, cheap and healthy…so all around an excellent choice! 🙂 However, you can’t eat fish everyday, one reason is tastebud boredom and the other is…um, hmm…I’m sure there is another reason, an actual foodie reason, something about mercury or fat or something…I dunno, I don’t feel like googling right now, so let’s stick with tastebud boredom, you can’t eat the same thing everyday, you’d get bored super fast and find yourself cheating on your eating plan!

To switch it up I bought chicken, I buy the boxes of frozen chicken breasts that are already flavoured so all I hafta do is throw em in the oven, wait about 40 minutes and boom! Meat! Cooked meat! It’s like a freakin miracle everytime I cook it lol 😉 They also come in a variety of flavours, are healthy, not quite as cheap but I buy em when they are on sale so that helps and easy to cook. 🙂

Normally I eat my chicken or fish for dinner, cause well, that’s what society taught me is normal…we eat toast or cereal or oatmeal or coffee or something else similar for brekkie, a sandwich or something fast food like for lunch, some form of meat with veggies and potatoes or rice for dinner, and something sweet for  dessert…I mean, that is how we roll in North America, right? But who says we have to follow those rules? Why can’t people eat soup for brekkie, or a sandwich? And don’t we all love having pancakes for dinner every now and then? It’s like we’re ok with shifting some foods around and considering it a treat but not others…weird huh?

Since I no longer eat any of those foods I listed for the standard brekkie options I have had to change how I eat. My breakfast now is a protein shake and half a piece of fruit (today it was an apple) then an hour later I usually have an egg, 2 slices of turkey bacon, 2 slices of tomato and the other half of the fruit. Can I tell you how bored I was getting with that? Not only bored but kinda grossed out by eating turkey bacon every freakin day. I used to have turkey bacon maaaaybe twice a month, it was a treat, something to have on a weekend when I slept in and was making brunch but now, having it daily, it’s starting to become more and more a food I want to avoid – which is not good when it’s an easy way to get some morning protein, eek! So today I switched things around – ooooh I’m so daring! 😉 teehee

I had my protein shake and half an apple and while I was getting that all ready I put a Cajun flavored chicken breast in the oven, yeah, Cajun for breakfast was a little odd but it was either that or BBQ lol. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to actually eat it when the time came, I’m ridiculously picky about my first meal of the day, I have an over sensitive stomach 😛 but it was actually good. I had half the chicken breast, one egg, and some cheese (I melted the cheese on the chicken to try to counter act some of the spicyness – fyi, it didn’t really work)

I was quite happy with my chicken breakfast and even happier when at dinner time all I had to do was heat up the other half of the chicken breast instead of wait the full 40 minutes for it to cook. 🙂 lol

I hit a record high (for me) amount of protein for the day, I managed to get 122.3 grams. Now yes, a big part of that is because I have two protein shakes a day but I am also making food choices that provide me with natural protein. So the chicken, the egg, I had some peanut butter on a celery stick for a snack, some pistachios, cottage cheese…things like that, they all add up. No worries, I also have veggies and fruit during the day but today’s post is about protein lol.

I don’t know that I’ll want half a chicken breast for breakfast everyday, if I do that I’m sure I’ll start looking at the chicken breast the same way I’m starting to look at the turkey bacon so I’m going to have to start of thinking of alternatives…crap, more work! 😛 I miss the days of eating a bowl of cereal or having some toast, breakfast used to be the easiest meal of the day, and my favourite, now it’s the most finicky and my least favourite, so weird how these things can change on us huh?  😛

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Running On Blisters

20 Mar

I have these totally awesome boots, they are tall, have buckles (two on the foot part and one at the top outside), they are black leather, they have a two inch heel, they are hawt and make me feel sexy when I wear them. Normally I wear them with a skirt so I can dress up a bit without freezing my legs off but on St Patty’s night I wore them with a pair of jeans that went over the boots, not tucked in to the boots cause on me that just looks stupid lol. I tried getting a sweet pic of them but have you ever tried taking a pic of your own legs while wearing a pair of shoes or boots? The angle just doesn’t work lol so I have a pic of one of the boots sitting on my roomie’s futon, trust me when I say they look waaaay better on me then on the futon…

My sexy boot

I bought these totally awesome boots on my birthday in December as my present to myself, such a great present I might add lol. Each time I have worn them they’ve been super comfy, kept my legs warm and like I said earlier, made me feel sexy. I had never really thought about it but I always wore them when I was driving to my location and any walking I did in them was for short distances and usually on the arm of a man. I didn’t think about any of that when I chose them for my St. Patty’s night out, I just wanted to look good – duh. lol 😉

By the end of the dancing portion of my night on saturday I wanted to weep my feet hurt so badly, they were practically burning with pain and all I wanted to do was take off my boots that I was now cursing and never look at them again. Of course every girl knows that when you go out for an evening you make a pact with your shoes and never ever ever take them off, no matter what kind of pain they cause you cuz those random girls you see walking barefoot and carrying their shoes? Eewwww! Nasty! Nobody should ever want to be that girl, *shudder*

Once I was home and my feet were once again walking flat on the ground I quickly forgot about the pain my feet had been feeling and was once again in love with my boots lol. But something unexpected happened…blisters! That’s right, the stupid boots gave me blisters on both my feet, on the balls of my feet! Ya know, that nice cushy soft part on the underneath of your foot? That is where I am blistered on both feet, ugh. This didn’t matter on sunday as the blisters don’t really hurt and I easily ignored them but ooooh man, I sure as heck felt them when I was running on the treadmill today, not pleasant!

It was really only during the sprinting part of my run that I truly noticed them, and it wasn’t so much a pain that I was feeling as an “ick”, it’s just a weird icky feeling running on blisters, cause you know that strange squishy feeling is actually liquid sacs on the bottom of your feet that are having pressure put on them and *face grimace* that’s just gross. ugh.

It got me pondering all the other things women do for fashion, or just plain looks. We go through so many little grooming rituals that cause pain, and sure the pain is fleeting and easy to ignore but uh, when did going through pain of any kind for cosmetic purposes become so common place?? And why do we accept the pain high heels bring us, and tight restrictive clothing, and push up bras, and all those other things we do and wear as normal? Acceptable? Some kind of twisted right of passage?

Now, don’t go thinking I’m going all hippy on you, I’m not going to stop threading my eyebrows, or shaving, or wearing those boots or accidentally stabbing myself in the eye with my eyeliner (on an almost daily basis I might add! lol) cause I like the results of all those things, I like how I look (on most days) when all my grooming rituals and clothing choices come together…I just wish there was a little less pain involved…and squishy liquid filled sacs on the bottom of my feet *shudder* Seriously sooooo gross!

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Oh St. Patty’s Day

18 Mar

Alrighty, who had an awesome St. Patrick’s Day? er…Night? lol Mine was fairly sweeeet but oh how it unhinged my eating plan, eek! I’m trying not to freak out about it but since I had those two days this past week where I wasn’t feeling well so my eating was off and I missed one exercise day (also due to not feeling well) I’m really worried about having to step on the scale tomorrow.

Ah geez, I just realized that even thinking about the scale has made my face grimace, how attractive *rolls eyes*

I went out with my roomie, her brother and a bunch of friends to a bar called Joe’s Apartment, a little too hipster for me but all the so-called Irish Pubs were crazy full way early in the evening and hey, we had a connection to Joe’s so we got in without waiting in line and only paid half the cover charge…which incidentally I didn’t have to pay at all as the roomie’s bro picked up my tab, nice huh?

There was a live band that I never did catch the name of but they were excellent and inbetween their sets the dj played a good mix of tunes. I felt a bit old at one point though cause the dj played a small portion of the song Step By Step by the New Kids On The Block (this is a song from when I was in elementary) and my roomie had no idea who it was, I can’t remember who she was guessing it was but I remember being shocked that (a) it was being played at all and (b) she didn’t recognize it…just goes to show how a couple years difference in age can really affect what people remember from their childhood lol.

Sadly, I did not drink any green beer, I had fully intended to but I couldn’t bring myself to let the Guinness be touched by food colouring and well, the other drinks I had (a) I didn’t order, the roomie’s bro did and (b) weren’t really conducive to being turned green…I mean come on, a green Corona? Ick. 😉

BW (that’s my roomie, I’m just sick of typing ‘roomie’ lol) and I left about 1:30am cause we had to make sure to catch the last bus going back to our area, on the way home this guy whose her friend but who also kinda likes her texted and somehow ended up inviting him and his buddy to our place so we were home maybe 5 minutes when they showed up and we all stayed up partying until about 6:30a when we all started to crash where we sat…it wasn’t a pretty sight. lol.

Now, I had anticipated all the alcohol that would be going in to my system and although I hadn’t done anything crazy over the top to compensate for those calories I thought I might do ok buuuuuut, here’s where things went a bit downhill eating wise. I got home from the gym, didn’t think we’d be going out till maybe 8p or 9p but BW’s bro picked us up early, I think around 5:30p or so, not good for my timing! I only had time to have my yummy protein shake with all the fruit etc in it and then I had to rush to get ready so no actual dinner for moi. Oops number one. Then! When we were at the bro’s apartment we pre-drank with the group we were hanging out with that night so both BW and I were drinking on what amounted essentially to empty stomachs…I learned that BW gets drunk quickly when this happens lol We both wanted to go somewhere with food…I was fantasizing about nachos lol, but we ended up going right to the bar, after we got stamped and knew we’d be allowed back in without waiting in line we left and went to find food, at that time of night though, in that location and with such a limited amount of time we ended up with pizza, ya know, from those places that sell it by the slice? sigh. Oops number two. We each got two slices, I have no idea why I got two, who needs two?!?! But two I got, one pepperoni and one veggie (and oh man, the veggie one was grrrrreat!) Then back to the bar and the alcohol *happy silly grin* We did spend the night dancing up a storm so I’m going to pretend that burned a lot of calories lol

I might have been ok if after we came home we’d just gone to bed but when the guys came over we all ended up staying up and the munchies set in so I ate some cookies and some chocolate flake, oy! Oops number three. I ate more cookies then I wanted cause by that time I was craving sushi but like there’s an open sushi place at 3am? Uh, no, no there isn’t. Epic fail on the part of sushi restaurants everywhere I say lol 😉 Least at this point I stopped drinking, well, I was drinking water which doesn’t count. My two wins of the night were the dancing and the stopping of drinking when I did cause without those two actions it woulda been waaaaay worse! 😛

Today (sunday) has been a recovery day lol I slept for a while then basically did nothing. I was wanting pancakes more then a cat wants to catch a mouse so I got pancakes from this all day breakfast restaurant relatively near my place. I figured the walk to get the food would do me good, and it did. 🙂 I got the short stack which is three pancakes and brought em home, and wow they were yum! I unfortunately ate without really thinking about it though and where I would normally of stopped at one pancake, maybe one and a half, I actually ate all three, ugh, so then I felt even worse then before and spent even more time doing nothing. Well, drinking water, but again, that doesn’t count lol.

Eventually my system sorted itself out and tomorrow I’ll be back on track but I’m soooo dreading that scale! What do you bet it shows a weight gain??!?!? All my hard work down the drain! 😦

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Not Sick But Not Well

16 Mar

You know that weird in between spot where you aren’t sick enough to be sick (and get sympathy and pity and special treatment from people 😉 ) but you’re not exactly well either so you’re just not up to doing your normal daily stuff and you kinda wanna crawl back in to bed and stay there?

Well, that’s me, I’ve been there for the past couple days, it’s sooooooo annoying! I woke up Wednesday super late (even for me! lol) and my first conscious thought was “oh no, I so don’t feel good, ugh.” All I wanted to do was go back to sleep but then I’d actually be literally sleeping the day away so up I got. I had no appetite, something that always happens to me when I am sick, and my throat hurt. Not hurt enough that I sounded weird or needed some sort of throat medicine crap but hurt as in I was way more aware of my throat then I should be. I thought for sure I am getting sick, I have all the early warning signs and well crap, how much does that suck??

My newest line of defence against getting/being sick is taking Airborne…ever heard of it? It’s this big ass pill you dissolve in 6oz of water and then chug it back, it comes in two different flavours, neither of which actually taste good, hence the chugging lol. It’s loaded up with zinc, iron, echinacea…all kinds of good for your body things. The pharmacist recommended it to me last christmas time when I was desperate to find something to help me not catch anything over the holidays, she said the Airborne thing boosts your immune system to prevent you from catching anything and if you’ve already caught something it’ll help battle it so you get rid of it sooner. So far Airborne has not steered me wrong. Everytime I start feeling sick I take it (twice a day) and I don’t get severely sick, I sorta linger in that kinda-sick world for a day or two then I get better, and hey, who doesn’t love that? lol

Back to Wednesday, I was so not feeling well and when that happens I just don’t eat but I had lots of stuff I had to do. I decided to skip the gym cause how can I go running (it was a cardio day) when I haven’t eaten anything and I have no energy? Can’t right? Right! I was working hard to make sure I felt no guilt about this decision lol. But get this, by about 8:45pm I was feeling well, not guilt exactly, but weird for having not gone to the gym, I still had stuff I had to do at home (things that had an actual deadline) but what did I do? I changed my clothes and hightailed it to the gym so I could squeeze in a run and some ab work and some stretching before they closed…a sure sign I was sick! 😉 When I got home I got a text from NC seeing if I wanted to chill which I did so I left all the stuff I had to do at home, lol, deadlines be damned! I can deal with it tomorrow! (aren’t I a great procrastinator? lol) got ready and went out. I managed to squeeze in my protein shake (the yummy one with all the fruit an stuff) after I got home from the gym and before I went out so at least I got some nutrients that day, other then that all I’d eaten was a pear, um, 3 chocolate chip cookies (I had been baking), some cookie dough batter (cause duh, who doesn’t eat the batter? lol) and my morning protein shake (the gross one that is just the powder and water)…not a lot of fuel huh?

Thursday was almost as bad, sigh. I got up early cause all that stuff I put off doing the evening before I had had had to do that morning as early as possible, I hate mornings. Unfortunately I still felt sick and my throat was doing worse, sigh. I got a tea to get me through my running around and I will admit, I caved and also got a hot cross bun, oh yum! and I got them to warm it up so holy crap was it gooooood. *smile of bliss just remembering how tasty it was* after I was done my errands (all done on time thank goodness, phew!) I went home and thought vaguely of going to the gym but had even less energy then the day before so I knew at that point it sure wasn’t happening. Instead I snacked oh so badly on some bakery goodies we had in the apartment, yeah yeah, I know! then I watched a cartoon (I like watching cartoon movies when I don’t feel well lol) and tried desperately to nap. Do you know how hard it is to nap when you are an insomniac??? It’s freakin hard! Eventually the roomie and her daughter came home so my attempt at napping went out the window lol. I made what I usually eat for brekkie (one egg, 2 slices of turkey bacon and 2 slices of tomato) and thought again briefly about going to the gym but even as I thought it I knew it wasn’t gonna happen. Which kinda sucks cause it was a weight training day and I like those but some days you just gotta let your body have a break and take a chance to get better ya know? Least, that’s what I think…Later that evening I also made my protein shake (the yummy one of course lol) cause I figured I wasn’t hungry but I could probably manage to drink the shake and that way I’d get a lot of vitamins etc…I never used to think like that lol.

I feel I should explain the hot cross bun and the bakery slip up…when I am sick I don’t eat, I just have no interest in food and can’t be bothered. I know this about myself so when I feel myself starting to get sick I tend to eat say a donut or something even when I know I shouldn’t cause I know it’ll probably be the only thing I eat that day. I figure better get as many calories in as possible per food item since I will barely be eating anything…does that make sense? Probably not lol 😛

Today I am feeling a bit better, my throat doesn’t hurt as much, I’m still taking my Airborne and well, I don’t have any energy back yet but I’m gonna blame that on two days of crap eating lol. I forced myself to go to the gym, had my cardio day, thought I might fall off the back of the treadmill cause it was a bit harder today then normal (I’m thinking cause I hadn’t eaten properly for two days so didn’t have a lot of stored energy? that’s really a guess, I have no idea lol) But I ate properly today, even though my appetite isn’t quite back to normal, I ate my morning protein shake, my fruit, my egg and turkey bacon and tomato slices, even had half a chicken breast and 2/3cups of mixed veggies, oh and of course my yummy protein shake after the gym lol. So hopefully that’ll make tomorrows exercise easier *crossing fingers*

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I’m A Runner?!

14 Mar

The weirdest thing happened at the gym last week, yeah yeah I know, it happened last week and I’m only now relaying the story? What’s with that?! Remember all those posts where I mentioned what a lazy ass I am? There ya go, that is your explanation – notice I am so lazy I didn’t even have to type out a full explanation? I just let your critical thinking and problem solving skills take care of all of the work for me lol  😉

Anyways! The weird thing. Hmm, first you need a bit of an explanation of the layout of my gym, it’s actually a Rec Centre (not that that should matter but I guess some people are gym snobs, and all I have to say to that is Really? You are proud you pay more then me per month for your sweat location? Whatever! lol) So, because it’s a Rec Centre they have the workout equipment spread through out a bunch of rooms, it’s kinda annoying cause it’s almost impossible to complete your workout in just one room, and well, I’m lazy, remember? Most of the cardio machines are in one room, there are 4 treadmills, 3 elipticals, 2 rowing machines, about 4 upright bikes and 3 reclining bikes, 2 steppers and, um, I think that’s it. The rest of that room is filled with some weight machines and a little free weight section. This means when I go to do cardio I’m usually in that room but every now and then all the machines are filled up and since according to my new work out regime I’m currently only using the treadmill for my cardio if all the treadmills are taken well I’m kinda screwed, and annoyed lol. There is however a room mostly devoted to spin classes but around the perimeter of the room there are 2 treadmills and a couple other cardio machines, they are kinda hidden and a lot of people don’t like using the machines in that room cause the spinners are all snobby about being in spin class and shoot you snotty looks if you go and use a piece of equipment in there while they are in class…uh hello, focus on your own workout there buddy instead of glaring at me for trying to do mine! harumph!  😉

Something else about spinners is that they get to class ridiculously early and instead of resting, or stretching or something in preparation they actually climb up on to the bike and start peddling, at a totally decent pace, I don’t understand how they don’t get worn out before the class starts since some of them are sitting there peddling for a good half hour or more before the class – I tell ya, spinners are a special breed lol. 😛 Anyways, I was having to use a treadmill in the spinning room cause all the other ones were in use and spinning class was only about 5 minutes from starting so there were a lot of people sitting on the bikes. I had to walk past some of them to get to the sign up sheet on the wall for the treadmill and due to the angle I suppose it could have kinda looked as if I was walking towards the front of the class. Well, this lady who is (I am assuming) new to spinning asked me a question as I passed by, I had my earbuds in and music blasting so I took out an earbud and asked her to repeat herself. She asked me how to use the screen and buttons for the bike, like I would know? I stared at her blankly for a couple seconds and then without my even thinking about what I was going to say the words “oh, I’m not a biker, I’m a runner, I have no idea how to use the controls on your spin bike, sorry.” came out of my mouth…

Uh…”I’m a runner“??????? What in blue blazes is with that??? I’m not a freakin runner! Sure, I use the treadmill, and yes technically I run on it but…I’m not a runner…runners are lean, and in shape, and well…really lean and in shape and I’m not either of those things. Nobody would use either of those words to describe me, not in a million years! And yet, somehow, that sentence came out of my mouth.

As I continued walking to the sign up sheet my mind was boggling at what my mouth had just said, I was waiting for someone to point at me and denounce my claim to be a runner but nobody did lol. Then, as I was walking back past the lady who asked me for help I heard her talking to the person next to her and she was saying how she had thought I was the instructor and that’s why she asked me for help…What?!?!?! Me?? The spin instructor??? Uh, they are ridiculously in shape (well, all the ones I have seen are), how the heck did that lady think I was a spin instructor?? It’s like the world got shifted on its axis that day. lol

I have to admit, it made me feel good about myself and my weight loss that some random stranger thought I could be a spin class instructor cause well, duuuude, that’s gotta mean I’m looking kinda fit right? Course, when the real spin instructor came in I looked like the most out of shape person ever in comparison so I’m sure that lady who asked me for help will never make that kind of mistake again, not now that she knows what a real spin instructor looks like lol 😛 But hey, I’ll take the unintended compliment anyday. 😀

Like I said, that happened last week and since then I keep pondering this whole ‘being a runner thing’. I mean, could I be a runner? What is the definition of being a runner? Do you have to run a certain distance or a certain speed a certain amount of times a week to be considered a runner? I dunno…and while I suppose I could google the question and get an answer I’m not sooooo curious I’m about to sort though a bunch of Yahoo! answers lol. I think…and I could be way off base here…but I think I just might be turning in to a runner…not a professional one of course, but a semi-decent non professional runner. I can get some fairly decent speed, and every time I run I go a bit faster, I’m running 3 times a week, well until this week where now it will be 6 times a week and I dunno, to me that seems to indicate I’m turning in to a bit of a runner, what do you think?

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A Couple Weeks A Couple Pounds…Almost…

8 Mar

So I’ve been on the new eating and exercise plan for a couple weeks now (like my title suggests lol) and I’ve lost 1.8 pounds, which doesn’t sound all that impressive but since the goal is 1 pound a week I’m almost right on target, so yah? My current dilemma is that NC said he could help me lose 20 pounds in 2 months but if I am only losing 1 pound a week well…even I know that math doesn’t add up! Anybody out there have some wicked awesome math skills that make that work? Maybe a snazzy calculator that fudges results a little bit? Something? Anything?…no, I didn’t think so lol

I’m not really too upset about the 1 pound a week thing, I mean yes I would rather be losing more per week cause I am totally a need-to-see-results kinda girl but hey, I have been plateaued for freakin ever and in only two weeks the plateau has stopped, technically really, the plateau stopped being a plateau after the first week since I lost 1.2 pounds the first week, so yah for no more plateau! 🙂

Here’s how a typical food day goes:

Upon first rising have a protein shake and half a piece of fruit (say half an apple or pear or whatever)

Approximately an hour later have breakfast, some sort of protein (I have 2 slices of turkey bacon), an egg (did you know you destroy all the good nutritional benefits of an egg if you cook the yolk? so now I eat them sunny side up with a runny yolk, yum!) and the other half of that piece of fruit you cut up earlier…I also have a glass of water but that’s not technically part of the eating plan, it’s just cause I like to stay hydrated lol

Here is where I go exercise…

After getting home from the gym I have a protein shake but this one is yummy cause it has one scoop of protein powder, half a banana, half cup of frozen fruit (I alternate between just blueberries or having mixed berries), half cup non flavoured sweetened yogurt from Activia, one cup almond milk (don’t even get me started on how much I miss milk from a cow, milking an almond is just so wrong! lol) , and one teaspoon of something called NutraSea +D (it’s to get me some much needed healthy fats, my omega 3)

An hour or two later I have dinner, some form of protein (say a half a chicken breast or a fish fillet) and some veggies (usually 2/3C mixed frozen veggies but it can be other veg, it’s all dependent on preference)

Then a couple hours after that, or whenever I start to feel hungry, I have a salad, mixed greens that I add cucumber and half a cut up pepper to, if I had half the chicken breast for dinner I put the remaining half on my salad, if I had fish for dinner then I’ll have half a cup of cottage cheese or a serving of marble cheese with the salad, just something to get a bit of protein and make it a bit more filling.

Then right before bed, literally it’s the last thing I do before going and washing up is have a couple spoonfuls of either some yogurt or some cottage cheese, just something little like that to help keep your body from freaking out about being starved to death while you are sleeping lol.

Sounds like a lot huh? And it is…and yet it isn’t lol. I have a goal of almost 1500 calories a day for my food intake, this compensates for my daily exercise and with all the math done will result in my losing a pound a week and not starving while doing it. Also, I need all that protein and well, food in general, to keep my body fueled up and able to deal with the exercise without it deciding to use my muscles as fuel thereby taking away my ability to get in shape in a healthy way. My problem is that not once have I been able to reach my caloric goal, not once!! How insane is that? Even on days I splurge and get a hot chocolate or eat some sushi or have a piece of chocolate (hey, I’m a girl, I have chocolate needs that can’t be denied lol) I still don’t manage to reach my calorie goal of almost 1500.

Any other day I would be able to honestly write that I am not feeling hungry, or deprived or anything negative and that I don’t really think I need all those calories despite what NC and all the books I am reading say buuuuut well, today I am freakin starved! lol I don’t know what it is! I ate all my food like I am supposed to, even my night time salad which normally I kinda skip cause it’s just too much food but here it is a little after midnight and I could so go for a meal right now, sigh. I am not going to have a meal cause well, hello, it’s a little after midnight, it’s a weird time to be eating and I have to try to get some sleep soon since I have to be up in the morning but that doesn’t mean I don’t want something to eat lol. Despite my hunger pains tonight let me reassure you I am not starving myself, I am not denying myself food in an effort to get thin, it’s driving NC a little nuts I think that I am not eating more but I’m not gonna force myself to eat when I am not hungry, that just doesn’t make any sense to me, does it make sense to you?

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A New Beginning

24 Feb

Just Do It!

 

I am leaving Weight Watchers…yes, you read that correctly. Although, since I never officially joined, just did the program on my own I guess I’m not “officially” leaving them since well, how can you leave something you were never really a part of?

I learned a lot from Weight Watchers and I will take those lessons with me. I learned about proper portion sizes, and how to eat food groups, I learned how to actually read a nutritional label (I used to glance at them as if I knew what I was doing but didn’t actually read them lol). I think overall I learned common sense, something some people say can’t be learned lol, because, really, in the end Weight Watchers is common sense. They give you the tools and you use them or you don’t and the results you get are reflective of the work you put in to the program.

The only problem with that last sentence is the results you get aren’t always reflective of the work you put in to the program, and that’s where my love affair with Weight Watchers started to go wrong. For the longest time if I ate my points and did my exercising I lost weight every week, maybe not a lot but I’d lose something and so life was good. But I have been stuck on a plateau since last summer, yup, you read that right, last freakin summer! and my irritation with Weight Watchers and myself was reaching a level I didn’t think possible. Yes, since moving to the new apartment I hadn’t been tracking or paying all that close attention to what I was eating or portion sizes but that is partly because for the previous 6 months even though I had been doing all that nothing had been changing, I was stuck at the same weight for so long that I just gave up. Lame huh?

I probably would have stayed on this cycle of meaning to start tracking again but not doing it and going to the gym about 3 times a week but totally counter acting any work I did in the gym by eating a donut or something else ridiculously bad for me except I had a talk with my agent last week. I had emailed her because I am not getting any auditions and I wanted to ask her if she’d be willing to put me in as a wild card for some auditions to help get me seen more. I am aware there aren’t a lot of casting calls for 5’8″ redheads lol so I was thinking if she put me in for say, auditions meant for brunettes or something maybe somebody would decide that hey maybe a redhead would be good in this role too. Well, she called me back and in the nicest voice (she really sounds like such a sweet lady when she’s tearing your heart out) she informed me that she is putting me out there for anything in my height/age range but I need to lose weight because the girls I am going up against are all around 120lbs and I am not…Now, normally anybody with any self-esteem would not let someone tell them they are too fat and that they have to lose a specific amount of weight but an actor’s relationship with their agent is different so all I did during this convo was make agreeing noises, say “yup” a lot and basically just took it. It’s like a whipped dog, tail between it’s legs, just takes the painful crap cause there’s no other option. *rolls eyes* Suckfest huh? Cause, yes, I know I am overweight, especially for the acting world, but come on! I’m a lot smaller then I was and how the fuck am I gonna lose more weight? I’ve been stuck at this weight for so long telling me to lose so I weigh 120lbs, well, you might as well be telling me I need to lose 500lbs, I have no idea how to do it! sigh

Luckily, fates were on my side that day, later in the day I was meeting up with NC who is someone I have recently been seeing and when I told him the gist of the convo with my agent he said he could help me. Turns out that he used to be a personal trainer and he’s kept up with all the info on the topic so he actually knows what he is talking about lol. Guess that explains how he is in such amazing shape…seriously, amazing! He says if I follow the program he makes for me I could lose 20lbs in 2 months but not just lose the weight like become a smaller version of me, I’d be more toned, in shape, fit…so a healthy weight loss…which is what I need but have no idea how to accomplish on my own. Sweet huh?

So, that is why I haven’t been writing for the last little bit, I’ve been learning the new program I am going to be following and wanted to wait till I had a better understanding of it before I wrote too much about it. I don’t want to write something that ends up being incorrect and have you all think I am nutso lol. Because even though I trust that NC knows what he is talking about and is teaching me good habits etc I am also reading books on the eating style he is having me follow so I can understand the science behind what I am doing…cause, people, there really is a science behind it, it’s crazed! lol

I’ll write more about what my eating and exercise habits are going to be from now on another day, since this post is already nice an long lol but now you know what I am up to over here. 🙂

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I Am An Actor

12 Feb

  • I Am An Actor

    Ok, so this isn’t really a post since I’m not going to write a lot, lol, just thought I’d share this with all of you. 🙂
    I’ve had an awesome weekend, I was trying on clothes and discovered I have gone down a size, yah! I knew my pants were fitting looser but I thought it was cause they are all about the same age and they were stretching out a bit, turns out nope, they really are bigger on me lol. Don’t you love when that happens?
    I feel I shouldn’t celebrate it too too much since I didn’t lose the size by eating healthy and exercising, I did it through poor eating habits and sporadic exercise and really, it’s probably my body’s way of trying to cope with less vitamins and nutrients and more sugar and caffeine but hey, for today anyways I will do a happy dance and rejoice. 😀
    Tomorrow I am meeting up with a contact, we are going to write a short film and post it on youtube, mostly just for fun but if it goes viral and makes us famous we’re cool with that lol. 😉  Also, in the world of contacts, I have a friend whose best friend is involved in making 3 (count that, THREE!) films this year so he asked for my headshots and demo reel so he could give them to his friend. Oh I hope something comes of it! So many “big breaks” come from contacts that the actor has and I don’t have many of those at all (read that to mean I have none 😛 ) *crossing fingers*
    I spent this weekend shopping (mostly window shopping, but I still got to try some stuff on lol), went dancing with friends saturday night which I feel should count as exercise since we were shakin’ our tailfeathers 😉 then today (sunday) I went for brunch with KL, we caught up on all our gossip (hey, we’re girls, it’s what we do!) I love going for brunch with KL, we always have so much fun. 😀 Um, let’s see, then I came home and hung out with the cat, had a nap, which has unfortunately caused me to be not alert exactly but not as exhausted as I would like considering I want to be going to bed soon (it’s 12:13am on Monday…although, when I publish this I will alter the time to be still on Sunday so it shows up on the calendar of my posts on the day I want it to, aren’t I so sneaky? teehee)
    I didn’t do any “real” exercise this weekend, unless you count shopping, dancing and walking lol. I can’t bring myself to be upset about it though since I’m down a siiiiiize! Sorry I keep bringing that up, it’s just so exciting since I’ve been plateaued for sooooo long! Maybe, if I start eating closer to properly and exercise more frequently I’ll not only maintain this new size but go down a bit farther? Ooooh, the excitement! lol
    And look at that, looks like I wrote enough it really is a normal post after all, sigh, I’m so chatty *rolls eyes*

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Ahhhh Telus

10 Feb

My internet died, went down, crashed…whatever term you want to use it went away. It was very sad, doubly so since I don’t have cable so I felt especially cut off from the world.  😦

I don’t understand those people that willingly stop going online and watching tv and using cell phones for a week or a month or 6 months or a year as some kind of test to prove they don’t need technology. I neeeeeed technology! I crave it! I live for it! I was on facebook and twitter via my smart phone (which is not very smart considering how many technical problems the pos has, erg) every 5 minutes or so terrified I was missing something hugely important!

Oh, and no, I don’t mean hugely important like what a friends kid did or didn’t do that was oh-so-cute *rolls eyes* I can’t stand those facebook status updates, sigh, I mean like, a natural disaster, or Obama being killed (and yes, I do think he has a higher chance of getting assassinated (side note, haha! a word that says “ass” twice in the spelling of it!  😛 ) then Harper…the Prime Minister of Canada in case you were wondering who the heck I was talking about lol), or the oilsands lighting fire and all of Alberta being evacuated (I’m allowed to say that, I’m Albertan lol). So much of what I know of the world comes from the internet, it used to come from the news but as I mentioned above I don’t have cable anymore so no more 6pm news watching for me…who’d of thought I’d ever miss the news?? Crazy world! Crazy!

Happily, Telus sent over a very nice and competent man who fixed the internet connection and voila! I was back on the information super highway…right in time to be super busy for days and have almost no time to get online let alone post on wordpress, figures huh?

Today though, something way fun happened that I just gotta share! I had a photoshoot today that was sweeeeeeet! It wasn’t an acting photoshoot, it was for Dragon Boating, I (along with others) got asked to take part in the photoshoot to create the new posters and advertising images for the upcoming Dragon Boating season – how awesome is that?!?! It was all done in a studio, we had paddles but no pfd’s (personal flotation devices, fancy way of saying lifejacket…seriously, when did we stop saying lifejacket??) and we sat on these boxes so that we could pretend we were on the water paddling lol. They will photoshop the pictures so the final images will appear as if we are in boats racing. Yet one more reason I love technology! lol Cause man, if we’d had to be on the water for this shoot we’d of frozen our hands off, the water is not yet warm people!

I felt so honoured to be asked, especially once I got there and saw the other people taking part in the shoot. They are all in so much better shape then me, I don’t know how I fell in to this crowd. lol. Paddlers are those people that are tanned, and no nonsense, and the women don’t wear makeup (at least on days when they are on the water) and their hair is either really short or yanked back in a pony tail and they are fit and outdoorsy and well, a lot of things I am not. Luckily, they are also really accepting of others and happy to have people around who also enjoy the sport, even if they don’t fit the stereotypical mold of a racer. Phew! Lucky for me! lol I got to meet a two time World’s Champion, I couldn’t believe she trains out of the same place I train, wow. Lemme tell ya, I thought I was getting decent upper arm and shoulder definition, she is so muscle defined even when she doesn’t flex she’s looking way toned, but not in a guy way!  😛

For the shoot we were all sprayed with glycerin and water so we looked like we got sprayed while on the water paddling, it is sticky feeling and kinda odd but it works. However, it’s been hours since I’ve been home and I washed my face once already and I am still finding little random sticky spots on my neck and face, ick. It got in my hair too, le sigh. My bangs feel nasty but oh well, it’ll wash out when I shower.  🙂 and really, I complain, but it doesn’t really bother me, I’ve been through lots worse on photoshoots but I always have so much fun that I don’t really care. Heck, I was put in a bald cap once (which, considering how much hair I have was soooo hard for the make up girl to do) and when she took it off she peeled off some of the skin along my hairline cause she didn’t unstick the glue properly. That hurt! But even with the pain, it was totally worth it. 🙂 I must be crazy huh? lol

So, food and exercise for this past week, I was active monday, tuesday and wednesday to levels I am happy with. Monday and wednesday I hit the gym, both days I got thwarted in my wanting to use the weights (the weight room was booked for a class both days) but I did get in over an hour of cardio, some ab work and some stretching on both days. Tuesday I cleaned the apartment, which I never totally feel should qualify as exercise but I know that it does so, shrug, I’ll use it lol. Thursday I walked, and did manage to work up a bit of a sweat, but I don’t feel it was enough walking to properly qualify as exercise and then today I was photoshooting and then we so tired the rest of the day cause of being up so early and on not enough sleep I didn’t really do much. Totally my bad, I should’ve gone to the gym, or at least for a walk, but I just couldn’t make myself move.

Although, having said that, I seemed to have no trouble moving my ass to the kitchen to keep getting snacks, sigh. I didn’t clue in till way later that I was probably eating so much today because I was so tired and my body was trying to get energy, tsk tsk to me. I should have just gone for a nap or something, that would have probably taken care of the over eating problem I had today but yeah, by the time I realized it was already almost midnight. It’s not often I get way tired like that anymore so I forgot that could happen, *rolls eyes* I’ll hafta be more diligent on early morning days from now on.

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