Tag Archives: fat

Paid To Act!

15 Sep

Today was a momentus occaision for me, Momentous! For the first time ever I got paid to act! Paid! To ACT!! wOOt! 😀 *happy dance*butt wiggle*

I am an actress, that is my official career title, but all the acting jobs I have had till now have been student projects or volunteer opportunities. Now, there is nothing wrong with those, everyone has to start somewhere and those opportunities all gave me valuable lessons but they don’t pay the bills. lol. Technically, neither does this one as I only earned $70, lol, but again, gotta start somewhere! 😀

I would love to be able to tell you watch a specific tv show on a specific date or watch a certain movie and there I will be but this video you most likely will never see…no, it wasn’t porn! Get your minds out of the gutters! lol. 😛 It was a Corporate Video, so, only people involved with that company will see it although apparently it might be put on youtube…I’m not sure if that is right though cause it doesn’t make sense to put it on there…

So $70 for 3 hours of work, well done I feel but better yet I have a video credit that I can put on my resume that is a “real” acting job. Student and unpaid projects don’t garner as much respect with agents, they kinda think meh when they see those, paid jobs however, totally different reaction – much better reaction! 😀

A part that feeds my ego even more is that I got this job all on my own, I don’t have an agent, none have signed me yet, so neener neener neener to all you agents who looked at me and said no cause ha! I am marketable and I can get work without you and a different agent will see that and realize I am a good bet and they will get all the commission from my bookings in the future. 😛

Ok, that was my little gloat, I’m back to being nice again. 🙂

On the note of my weight loss, I have been undereating for a couple weeks now cause of issues with the medication I am on. I’m not trying to not eat all my points it’s just that everything I eat and drink makes my stomach hurt so it kinda puts me off eating. shrug. I am trying though. I’m usually eating higher pointed but smaller amounts of food in the hopes that will make it all work out.  🙂

I have been managing to get my work outs in though, no worries about that! I’m still doing the dragon boating and the boxing. 🙂 The dragon boating season ends at the end of October and I’m not sure what I am going to do then…there is an Outrigger Team I could join, they train through to mid to end of January and there is a race involved, it’s $89 for 16 training sessions which is a really good deal but…I’m kind of a weather wimp and don’t know that I could deal with being out on the water during the winter…it’s nasty enough dragon boating in the evening if it happens to be raining but Outrigger Boating in actual winter time? in the evenings? …I dunno…seems…unpleasant…

I think it’d be a better idea to try to find something to do that is an indoor pursuit…I could try to find another Zumba class, that was fun…I think I’ll check out the Community League’s fall schedule and see what they have. Community Leagues are so great, you can try all sorts of new activities for cheaper then if you went through a gym or studio. 🙂

This past week has pretty much rocked! I had 2 auditions, got paid to act, got the passport application in, got paid to act, got a smile and a wink from a hottie McHottie fireman *drool*, got paid to act, met up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while for lunch…did I mention I got paid to act? 😉

Oh and on Sunday I have a photo shoot lined up, so I already have something to look forward to for next week, yah! 😀

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How I Fill Out A Passport Application

13 Sep

Ok, this isn’t really about my weight loss or Weight Watchers journey but I was talking to my mom today and was telling her about how I went about getting my passport application done and she found it vastly entertaining so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s like a joke…except it’s real…and how I approach most things…I am uh, let’s say unique, that’s a non-judgy kind of word lol. 😀

Ok, so last week I printed off the passport application from the government website. If I had gotten off my ass ages ago I could have just filled out the Renewal Form but nope, not me! I waited and waited and now I have to completely reapply. *rolls eyes* I was so excited to get the application in (don’t ask me why…I’m weird about stuff like that lol) so I started filling it out right away. I decided to show a bit of my personality on the form – I mean, those forms are so boring and I figure the employees who process them must get so bored looking at the same thing over and over that why not make mine a bit more fun to look at? shrug. My way of making it show a bit of “me” in the form was to use a pretty ink colour. It’s a very nice turquoise colour. 🙂 I picked it cause important forms should have black or blue ink but I read (in a fiction book that has an almost complete cast of characters who are vampires…but that’s neither here nor there…) that all legal forms should have blue ink never black and sure, this isn’t technically a legal form but I’m filling it out and then signing to confirm I’m not lying right? So, kinda legal…in a way…so I thought I should use blue ink and well, turquoise is a shade of blue, so that should be ok, right? 😀

I was filling out my form and started to get bored so I stopped part way through. I used the excuse that I needed to confirm with various friends who will be my Guarantor and who will be my 2 References and I might as well wait to finish the rest of the form. So of course I texted friends and left it at that. 😛 This past Saturday I went for my photo only because I was having a good hair and makeup day, otherwise I probably would have put that off a bit also…there is always the hope if I wait another day I’ll look better in the picture then if I took the pic today, right?  😉

Anyways! I got two friends who agreed to be my references and one who agreed to be my guarantor, yah! I met up with KL for an early lunch today so she could fill out her section of the form (she’s my guarantor) and last night when I was making sure the papers were in my purse I thought “I should take a quick look at them, see if anything is missing or if I need anything special” but then I poo-poo’d that idea as just silly and nitpicky and assured myself it was all good. While KL was filling out her section of the form (with my snazzy turquoise pen) she said “I don’t know my passport number”…uh, say what? Yeah, turns out she needs some info from her passport but I didn’t know this cause I didn’t check the form the night before did I? *rolls eyes* KL calls her bf who is at home but he doesn’t believe in answering his phone, or keeping it charged, or taking it with him when he goes out (annoying!) so she just keeps calling and calling…and calling…sigh.

KL had to go back to work so I wandered downtown killing time waiting to see if she gets a call back from her bf and saw oh so many things I wanted to buy but being broke I bought nothing, sadness. She actually got a call from him and got the info so she texted it to me and I go to fill out the form by leaning the paper against the side of the London Drugs but the (snazzy turquoise) pen didn’t like writing at an angle and it stopped working. Meh, no biggy, figured I’d go to the passport office, find a table and fill it in there But! while shuffling the papers to confirm the address I see a couple not completed sections, oops!

I was supposed to fill in my work info but I didn’t cause I needed the address and phone number and exact dates of when I started and when/if I stopped working there…do you think I had that info while wandering downtown with a cell phone that can only go on to social networking sites and not google? Why no, no I didn’t. I decided I’d go to the passport office, find a table, sit and call my parents, lol, parents fix everything! I thought one of them could pull up my tax stuff to get the dates of employment and one of them could go google the addresses and numbers – easy peasy right?

When I got to the office I had a brainstorm! I could old school it and see if they had a phone book, then I could get the addresses and numbers all on my own…course, I kinda suck at understanding/using phone books but hey, desperate times desperate measures. shrug. When I asked the security guard she said if I go up two more floors there is a Service Canada Office and they have ten computers for public use and I could use one of them…I think she thought I wouldn’t be able to use the phone book, oh how right she was! lol. So up I went, found a computer and got the info I needed. Yah! I was also able to log in to my government account and see my ROE for the job I got laid off from which gave me the job info for that one and the other job I figured I knew the info decently well enough.

While filling out the addresses I decided I’d actually read the instructions for that section again, sigh, turns out I thought it said “fill in the info from your last two jobs”, it actually said “fill out the info from your last 2 years of work” – uh, two totally different things, and that would explain why there were three lines available for the info…I was wondering why if they only wanted the last 2 jobs there were 3 lines *confused face* Well, they were gonna hafta make do with the last two jobs for info cause that’s all I had. lol 😛

I also saw that I hadn’t filled in the references section, heh, but my pen was working again and my friend’s info is stored in my phone so that wasn’t too hard to take care of.

After all of that I go back to the passport office and go to the first line up I need…the person takes a look at your form checking for glaringly obvious screw ups then assigns you a number, oh, and she collects your ID and stuff, puts everything into a plastic bag (like a ziploc bag but no brand name on it) so you don’t lose any of your stuff while sitting and waiting. There I am, thinking phew it’s all but done now and she says “while you’re waiting I need you to go over to that desk in the back and go over everything on your form with a black pen because I think the ink colour is too light to be picked up by the scanner” What?! My pretty turquoise ink?! Covered?? No more personality for me…and ya know, I don’t think she even appreciated the colour! *shocked*

Well, what else could I do, I wrote over everything in black ink, boring, then waited, in a highly air conditioned room while wearing a short sleeved tshirt and no book. That’s right, I forgot my book! Man was I bored! Score for me though is that the distressingly long line ahead of me moved rather quickly and I didn’t have to wait too too long…I played games on my phone and texted with peeps to pass the time. 🙂 (side note, is it sad I can’t sit and patiently wait for something for longer then 5 minutes without needing some sort of entertainment?…were people more patient in the past or was it just that they didn’t have cell phones and mp3 players and handheld game devices to keep them entertained so they just had to suck it up and wait?)

When I got called up I got the nicest lady, she worked crazy fast, went through the form, asked me some questions, did who knows what on her computer, gave me back my ID then told me the wait time to process the passport is 2 weeks and when it is ready they will priority mail it to me and is that ok? Ok? Dude, that’s awesome! Only 2 weeks and they’ll send it to me so I don’t have to get my lazy butt all the way back downtown to pick it up?! Super Great! 😀 I thought it was gonna take a long time to get my passport and that I’d have to go back for it so this was quite the pleasant surprise. I told her that and she seemed a little surprised I thought the 2 weeks and mailing to me thing were great…how could it not be?

So there we have it, that is how I filled out my passport application…it only took me about 1.5 weeks to get it done! lol. 😀 If I was my brother he would have filled out the form perfectly first try (and in record time) and submitted it all in the same day…but I like my way better, cause this way I have a story to tell! 😀 His life may be awesome in all the ways society judges these things, but I think mine might have more funny stories. 😀

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I’ve Been Down

8 Sep

So I’ve been a bit down in the dumps this week, which is part of the reason why I haven’t been posting – nobody wants to read unhappy posts right?

There is a saying about how you are never given more than you can handle…personally I think that’s one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Of course we at some points in our life have more things than we can handle, but since we don’t have an option about handling everything that’s on our plates we just have to suck it up and keep going. The only other option would be to, well, either die or go crazy…neither of which are good options. The first one kinda sucks cause then everything is over (even the good stuff) and the second will leave you branded for life in a very negative way…it does not pay in today’s society to be branded crazy in any way cause that’ll follow you for life.

So what do we do when we have too much to deal with but still have to keep going? Well, I think a lot of the time some things will slide a bit and maybe you’ll drop the ball on some of the smaller things, but eventually you are able to catch up and get a handle on what is still on your list.

My list of things I am dealing with was just too much and this week sucked cause of it. I’m dealing with the new medication that isn’t working well so I’ve been sick everyday, I still don’t have a new roomie so now I’m trying to find somewhere I can move to that I can actually afford but that isn’t happening cause I’m stupidly poor, I had to borrow money from my parents which I hate having to do (you’d think by now I’d be able to take care of myself but nooOOooo not me, sigh), I’m having side effects from the new medication so on top of being sick I’m dealing with a host of new and not so lovely symptoms, the agent I met with last week decided not to sign me so I still don’t have an agent and at this point I don’t even have one whose thinking about signing me, I’m supposed to be memorizing lines for an audition I have on saturday but I’m having trouble reading due to one of the side effects from my meds (I’m way nauseous and reading makes me feel even worse), and basically, I am stressed.

Nice list huh? I know there are people out there with worse lists than me, and I know I am being a whiny git but come on already! Like it wasn’t bad enough when I was stressing about not having an agent, not having any money, not having a roomie and not being able to find a place I can afford on my own now I get to add all these stupid medical problems on top of it? I was doing ok with my list of crap ass things I had to deal with until the medical stuff got piled on top, that was the final straw that took me from stressing-but-dealing-with-it-and-keeping-a-good-mood to stressing-and-can’t-deal-and-wanting-to-give-up girl. I don’t like being the give-up-girl but some days I just have nothing to give to the world. sigh.

I don’t know how people with chronic medical problems deal with life, as soon as my meds get screwed with and I’m as sick as I would be everyday if I didn’t have my meds even the smallest thing in life becomes too much to deal with. I can’t eat cause everything (literally everything) makes me sick, I can’t sleep cause lying down makes me sick, I’m exhausted, hungry, nauseous, light-headed, dizzy and short-tempered all cause my drug plan is making me try these other pills. I still have like 3 weeks of this ahead of me, 3 weeks! Boxing almost killed me yesterday and today, I thought I was gonna hafta run out of the room yesterday and throw up cause all the motion made my stomach even worse, arg! I refused to leave though, I don’t want to make concessions to my stomach more than I already have. But because of that I totally ended up under-eating yesterday cause when I got home I was so not able to eat. Today was a bit better, we weren’t going up and down so much in class this evening so when I got home I was able to eat but I’m still 5 points away from hitting my daily points and I honestly don’t know if I can eat anything else, my stomach just can’t handle the food.

Maybe this is why I was so much slimmer when I was younger, not cause I was always working or out with friends but because I didn’t eat enough cause my stomach wouldn’t let me…hmm…not the best diet plan in the world but I guess there are worse ways to go lol 😉

So despite all the bitching I have done in this post I am actually a bit better today, I’m getting more used to the sick feeling so I’m getting better at handling it. I’m hoping I’ll actually be able to sleep tonight cause of exercising yesterday and today – I’m hoping I wore myself out enough I won’t wake up cause I am feeling sick lol. I’m going to stop whining about not having an agent and go apply to the next wave of the ones I short listed (I applied to the ones that take electronic submissions first cause it wouldn’t cost me money to email them all my stuff, now I am applying to the agencies that take paper submissions only – the post office will soon be my best friend lol) and I am going to continue to hunt for a roomie and/or a new place to live that I can afford on my own.

It’s not the best list, cause except for the agent hunting, it’s fairly non-specific, but right now it’s the best I can do cause I gotta sign off and go memorize some lines!  🙂

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Yogurt Overboard!

3 Sep

Aaahhhhh! I lost a yogurt! Crap! 😦

I didn’t lose it in the normal way of ‘it went bad and I had to throw it out’, I had a nannying job yesterday and I took a yogurt with me in case I needed a snack and guess what I forgot in the fridge there when I left? Yup, my yogurt. sigh. I feel like a Marine who failed in their motto of never leaving a man behind…is that Marines? lol. Who knows. 😛

I was about ten minutes away from the house when I realized I left it behind, I almost went back but if I had rang the doorbell I would have woken the sleeping baby and that would have been bad soooooo I just kept driving…with a tad of swearing interjected lol

Today was a weigh in day, for the past couple days I have been feeling thinner, not like ridiculously thinner or anything but just, thinner and a bit more content with my tummy area – which is a nice change. 🙂 I wasn’t even all that worried when I stepped on the scale, I was hoping really strongly the number would be lower then last weigh in day but there was no fear involved like there normally is. And what do ya know, I was down a pound! YAH!

You may be thinking meh, whatever, it’s just a pound, but I usually lose a bit under a pound at a time and I have been struggling with this plateau for-frickin-ever so finally losing an entire pound in one week is soooooo nice. 😀

I worked really hard this past week to eat my daily points and only my daily points. Some days I did eat some of my exercise points but never all of them. I didn’t exercise thursday and friday cause boxerfit was cancelled due to the long weekend and somehow I didn’t make it outside for a hike or even manage to pop in an exercise dvd, I know I should have found the time but I figured if I was just extra careful points wise those days it’d be ok. Looks like I was right! 🙂

I decided to treat myself for losing an entire pound, you’ll never believe how I treated myself, it’s kinda weird…I went for a hike. *rolls eyes* lol. I know! I do that all the frickin time right? How is that a treat? Well, it kinda isn’t, I mean, I took the same route as normal, dressed the same, kept the same pace…it wasn’t a treat as in I tried something new or did something I never get to do, it was a treat as in I’ve been working really hard, I lost one more pound of my fat and I am going to celebrate by being physically active. 🙂 So, the physicality of the hike was what the treat was, cause a year ago, hiking that trail would have been a lot harder!

Something else happened this evening, after I was home from doing some errands I decided to go for a walk to 7-11, I wanted a pop. shrug. No biggy right? Well, my neighbourhood is made up of a lot of hills, it’s kinda torture walking around here, you can end up getting a good workout that’ll make you sweat without even trying lol. Anyways, I walked to the store, bought a pop, then walked a longer way home, just sorta meandered a bit. It was only an hour long walk, I left here at 9p and got back a bit after 10p but at one point I realized that I was walking at a decent pace, keeping that pace steady, even when I was going uphill…I wasn’t out of breath, getting flushed, struggling…I was just peachy keen fine…weird. I liked it!

It was the first time I did something and was really aware that if it had been a year ago that same activity would have caused shortness of breath, sweating, muscle strain and it just wouldn’t have been fun. But this time, it was just relaxing and fun. 😀

I still have a ways to go with losing weight, then there will be all the toning etc that I will have to work on but today and tonight made me feel really good about myself…I am getting smaller numbers on the scale, I am seeing a difference in how I look in the mirror, I am feeling a difference in my body image and best of all I am noticing a difference in how well my body can handle various physical activities. I can’t wait to go hiking again tomorrow! 😀

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Stupid Move

30 Aug

I picked up a shift today so I was up, dressed, purdy’d up, fed and out of the house by 9:45am which, compared to how I normally spend my days, is early. lol.  😀

When I was done work I had to stop and get gas for the suv and the gas station had a Tim Horton’s in it, oh danger zone! Now, the provincial law here is that you have to pre-pay for gas so I always pay at the pump, this means I don’t have to go in to the store and see all the junk food that might tempt me but they were having a sale on smallish sized bottles of pop, 99cents for a 414ml bottle and I really wanted a half n half (I’ll explain what that is in a sec…) and I figured I could afford to spend $2. When I was in the store I remembered I need milk and decided since they were also having a sale on that I’d pick it up there instead of making a special trip to the grocery store for it – it’s all about saving gas in my world lol.

Well, I magically ended up at the Tim Horton’s counter, weird how that happens huh? 😉 They had my absolute fave donut in stock and I was unable to resist, I mean, come on, with tax a donut is a whopping $1.01 and it tastes sooooooo good! The only down side is that I thought I’d be able to get the nutritional info from the website, normally Timmy’s is really good for that, but of course that’s like the one frickin donut they don’t have info for. lol. I got the Toasted Chocolate Coconut donut, and I’m gonna admit, I enjoyed Every.Single.Bite. 😀 Since I couldn’t find the donut’s nutritional info I took the info from a chocolate glazed donut…I know it’s not right, but the donut was chocolate, although not glazed, but I figure the points for the glaze will stand in for whatever the points for the coconut is…does that make sense? It does in my head…

Well, now I am regretting that donut. *groan* Not cause of the points, the calories, the fat the general lack of nutritional value that it didn’t add to my body lol, I am regretting it cause I am uber hungry but don’t have points to eat. Aaaaaahhhhhh! Hungry! erg.

I earned 3 exercise points today and have eaten 22 points today which means I have eaten 2 of my 3 exercise points and I don’t like eating all the exercise points that I earn in a day…I prefer to not eat the exercise points cause then it means I am losing weight faster…in theory…but every now and then, it means I am feeling starved cause at some point in the day I made a stupid move food wise and instead of filling up on a proper meal I fill up on oh, say, a donut *rolls eyes* and that leaves my tummy saying “hey, moron! I still need food down here! what the heck are ya doin? you think that donut was a meal, cause it wasn’t, and I’m gonna make you pay for that aaaallllll night, sucker!” I swear, that’s exactly what my stomach says to me!

This used to happen to me when I first started Weight Watchers, I’d go to Starbucks and get my Iced Chai Latte and then suffer later that night cause the latte was like 6 points so drinking it meant I missed a meal and by the time I went to bed I felt like I hadn’t eaten in years, lol, yes, I know, dramatic, but when you’re used to eating whenever and whatever all of a sudden restricting yourself tends to freak out your tummy. lol. Well, today is like a flashback of that, my stomach is all about wanting food and my brain is all “No!” I’d say I wonder which will win but I know it will be my brain because I can’t eat this late at night when I don’t have my medication, as it is I ate dinner later then I should have but that couldn’t be helped so tomorrow might be a bit harsh…ugh…but, on the plus side I’m hitting up the docs tomorrow so I may get the right prescription, or at least ‘a’ prescription and I may soon be medicated, yah!

Today I ate:

1 Cup cooked oatmeal = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

2 Weetabix = 2 points

1/2 Cup skim milk = 1 point

1 Kashi pumpkin spice bar = 2 points

1 Coconut Donut = 6 points

1/2 Coke, 1/2 Diet Coke = 1 point

1 Cup brown rice = 4 points

1 turkey hot dog = 2 points

mixed veggies = 0 points

1/2 tbls soya sauce = 0 points

Total Points Eaten = 22

Exercise Points Earned = 3

Oh, so the half n half I mentioned above, it’s equal portions of Coke (or Pepsi) and Diet Coke (or Diet Pepsi). KL got me drinking this and I could shoot her for it cause I never drink my points but the combo of the two pops (the regular and the diet) is so tasty. Way back in the day (like I don’t even remember how many years ago) I used to drink Coke, and man, I drank it like it was gonna run out the next day and I had to get as much of it as possible into me as quickly as possible lol. Eventually I forced myself to start drinking diet Coke (I used to hate hate hate it but I retrained my taste buds, not an easy thing to do! lol) and I drank just as much if not more diet Coke as when I drank the regular Coke, after all, there were no points for a diet Coke so it made it the perfect drink, taste but no points. 🙂 lol.

For some reason diet Coke stopped tasting good, I don’t know why, it just started tasting icky and everytime I drank it I got sick feeling to my stomach so, sadly, I had to stop drinking it. I had hoped that if I took a couple months off from drinking it I’d be able to go back to it but nope, it still tastes icky.  😦 I didn’t want to go back to drinking regular Coke, and even if I decided the points were worth it it’s too sweet for me now, damn my changed tastebuds!

So, for all the above mentioned reasons, shrug, I stopped drinking pop. Some months ago I experimented with Diet Ginger Ale and found I could drink that, it tasted good, had no points, and didn’t make my tummy feel sick so when I wanted pop at least I could have it again but really, I just kinda stopped drinking it…Now, thanks to KL introducing me to this half n half combo I have found that I can drink cola again, it tastes good, it doesn’t hurt my tummy, make me feel sick or taste gross, and well…it’s not as many points as a regular pop, although it is more points then a diet or say, glass of water *rolls eyes* lol

I don’t drink this combo often, but for a couple days now I have been craving it so I bought the two small bottles, one of each, and have enough pop to have the drink twice. Really, I could have just had it as one drink but I thought I’d spread it out a bit…This may work out ok or this may become something I crave a lot and either cave and get or don’t get and well…think about having all the time…guess we’ll see how it goes 🙂

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I’m an Ostrich

29 Aug

this is me...only with thinner legs lol

Alrighty, so I have this tendency to hide from things I really don’t wanna know about. If I know I am way broke I won’t sign in to my bank account cause I don’t wanna see the balance, if I get a bill in the mail I know I can’t afford to pay I don’t open it…stuff like that. So, this past week when I ate those double chocolate drumsticks I didn’t even glance at the nutritional information let alone calculate how many points each drumstick is…I just hide from the information lol.

It’s stupid, I know, cause it’s not like my not looking at the bank balance, bill or nutritional  information means that it’s not there. And when I eat something I know is really bad for me but I don’t know the points value of the food I feel way guilty after I have eaten it cause I imagine the food item must be like 10 points or higher…I tend to estimate on the high side lol.

Well, today I decided to bite the bullet and read the nutritional information for the drumsticks. The only reason I did this was cause I still had one left and since starting today I am back to being a good little Weight Watcher and tracking my food and only eating my daily points I had to know how many points they are so I can know when I will be able to eat that final drumstick. 😛

Turns out they are nowhere near as bad as I thought they were, each drumstick is 4 points which yes, not a good use of 4 points but not nearly as bad as the 8-11 points I was guesstimating them to be. Yah! 🙂

I decided to eat that last drumstick today cause it would get them out of the place and no longer be tempting me and also cause I exercised today so I could eat it without messing up my points so I figured might as well. shrug.

So today I ate:

1 Cup oatmeal = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt = 2 points

1 light babybell = 1 point

21 grams mini breton crackers = 2 points

2 turkey hot dogs = 4 points

1 Cup Maple Flavoured baked beans = 4 points

1 double chocolate drumstick = 4 points

1 small spoonful of Nutella = 2 points

Total points eaten = 21

Earned exercise points = 6

Yes, I ate 1 point over my daily points but I hiked and dragon boated today which earned me 6 exercise points so I don’t feel bad about that 1 point extra that I ate.

I’m not gonna say that I am going to stop being an ostrich about all things, but I’m glad I got my head out of the sand about the drumsticks cause I don’t feel quite so bad about eating them now. 🙂

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A New Leaf

28 Aug

Last week I ate horribly, I don’t mean I ate something high in points on one day, I mean every freakin day I ate something way way way high in points, guaranteeing I dipped into flex points daily and only on one day did I exercise, and it wasn’t even my highest intensity exercise – it was just my hike. Crap. What seems to make it even worse is…I didn’t track! *hangs head in shame* aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! I always track my food! ALWAYS! well…always when I am at home in my normal routine, when on vacation I usually cut myself some slack lol.  😉

Why did this happen? I’m not sure…which is weird…normally I have some idea for why I screw up but this time? I dunno…well, that’s not totally true, on Friday I know why I ate badly, I was so pissed off and hurt from that interview I had I dived into ice cream, and not even the healthy-ish ice cream (ya know, the Skinny Cow stuff) but I got the really bad stuff, I bought double chocolate drumsticks, omg, bad move! Of course, after eating the ice cream I felt so badly for what I stuffed in my face I went out at night to the hiking trail and kicked my own ass all the way around it, lol, the whole time I was internally berating myself for what I had eaten and calling myself lots of bad names, lemme tell ya, walking that trail when angry got me a way better time then when I normally walk it lol. When I got home I then popped in one of my many exercise dvds and continued to attempt to burn off some of the calories I’d ingested. So ok, there is Friday explained but the rest of it?

For those days…I only have partial ideas, none of them great. shrug. Monday it was raining so I couldn’t hike and there was no dragon boating (we had the day off since we had raced just two days prior), there are no boxerfit classes on monday so I really had nothing I could do – and yes, I am aware I could have used an exercise dvd but I figured I’d enjoy the rainy day by sitting inside with a book and a cup of tea and just relax since my weekend had been so freakin busy. Did I mention already last Sunday I was turned in to a zombie? Cause I was, and while yes that is totally fun it takes a lot of the day and weirdly enough kinda wears you out…I think cause you’re sitting so long in makeup that your body just goes sleepy. lol.

So Monday, it was a chilling/relaxing day, having one of those every now and then won’t kill a girl or her diet plan, er, healthy living regime lol, so that was ok. But then Tuesday…uh, wtf happened with Tuesday? I didn’t hike cause I was running late going to a friends to take her some stuff and I thought I’d hike afterwards but we ended up hanging out and by the time I got home it was too late and well, I’d been drinking a tad so really, exercise wasn’t on my to-do list right then. lol. For food that day I was doing ok until I was on my way home and I was starving so I stopped at a 7-11 and bought half the store, ugh, I ate billions of calories really late at night right before going to bed on a day when I didn’t exercise at all, just frickin brilliant. *rolls eyes*

Wednesday I was recovering, lol, my stomach would barely tolerate anything for quite a while which I was kinda grateful for cause I was mad at myself for what I ate the night before. I did almost nothing Wednesday cause of how crappy I felt, oh, and add to the hangover I got wicked bad cramps, sigh, so two reasons I didn’t go to boxerfit. Now that I think about it I don’t think I ate as badly on Wednesday as on the other days but that’s cause my stomach was all anti-food, not cause I had any kind of self restraint or willpower. I remember eating cereal…and some toast…I’m not sure what else went past my lips but whatever it might have been it most likely wasn’t healthy lol

Thursday was the audition that went awesome! I don’t eat a lot before going to auditions cause I don’t wanna feel bloated or digesty or anything so all I had before I went was some toast and water. Afterwards I didn’t get home for way more hours then I anticipated cause of the wait at the docs office so when I was on the way home I got a pizza, I was sooooo starved and for some reason I thought I’d have a treat since I did so well at the audition. I have to stop treating myself with food! What am I, a dog??? arg. And really, I’d eaten so badly earlier in the week that even if I decided treating myself with food was an ok option I so wouldn’t have deserved to eat something bad for me that day! Friday was the bad mean sucky day, I ended up eating the rest of the pizza and two of those double chocolate drumsticks, oh, and some pumpkin pie. Then I hiked and dvd exercised.

Saturday I…wtf did I eat yesterday? hmm…oh! I went to White Spot with KL, she did me a huge favour and came with me to pick up a tv I got for free from a guy on craigslist (the tv I’ve been using belongs to my former roomie and she’s picking it up at the end of the month so I’ve been trying to find a tv for way cheap to replace hers with and I got the worlds heaviest tv for free, all I had to do was pick it up, yah!) I was a good girl and ordered a Spot Salad with skinless boneless chicken breast on top, I get the dressing on the side and dip every third forkful into it so I barely use any dressing. Can I say, it’s freakin ridiculous it cost almost $4 extra to get the chicken! $4!!! Crazy! but I really needed the protein so there ya have it. That wasn’t so bad but later in the day I ate another drumstick and I believe I also had some of the pie, sigh.

Today I swore I was gonna turn over a new leaf, see, my food weeks start on Saturdays but I bombed yesterday so I figured I’d just move on past that and start fresh today. It seemed like a decent plan…well, yeah, I ate cereal before going out but KL convinced me we needed to get something to eat before we went to the place she is house sitting at to watch a movie. We were trying to get sushi but the only place open near the place she is house sitting is stupidly expensive so we went to a food court, where of course nothing is healthy, and I bought the cheapest thing I could find. Which, fyi, was a burger and fries with a pop. sigh. There was  only one healthy place there, a salad place, but it would’ve cost so much more then the burger and fries and I’m fairly poor right now so even if it’s not healthy I have to go with the cheapest. shrug. The burger and fries were yummy, and not as bad for me as I thought they would be, it’s a mom and pop type place so the burger was cooked on an actual grill and all the toppings were fresh and the fries weren’t greasy and actually tasted like potato…weird lol…but still, not healthy! Since I’ve been home I ate the last piece of pie, thank god that is now gone from my place! and I’m dousing myself with tea to trick my tummy into thinking it doesn’t want to eat. See, without my medication I can’t eat for like 5-7 hours before I go to bed (when I am on medication it’s more like 3-4 hours which is much easier to deal with).

I find that what I have been doing this past week is instead of eating a healthy meal and then also eating the ice cream or pie or whatever I am just eating the ice cream or pie or whatever, the healthy food has gone bye-bye. Part of it is cause I have to eat what I have, I can’t afford to buy groceries for a bit and that means I don’t have fresh produce anymore, and part of it is cause when I ate the drumsticks they were so bad for me that I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything else on top of that. lol  Sooooo, while what I ate was bad for me, and I wouldn’t recommend my eating plan of the past week to anybody ever, I guess it could have been worse, I could have been eating my normal food plan and then eating all the extra bad for me food on top of that, instead I am just eating the bad for me food…talk about not getting all your vitamins and nutrients! lol All I got was processed sugar, lol.

So starting tomorrow is my New Leaf! I am back to tracking, back to eating as healthy as I am able to (this of course is dependent on what food I have in my fridge and cupboards) and basically back to being a good little Weight Watcher. 🙂 Oh, and I will be back to my normal exercising routine as dragon boating practice starts up again tomorrow and that’ll set me up for exercising throughout the week…one hopes… 😉

One weird thing, normally after I go on a food bender I look and feel way bigger. My tummy is larger, I don’t know if it’s cause it gets bloated from the sugar etc or cause I am gaining weight that quickly, but whatever the reason, it is noticeably bigger, and I feel laggier (I know that’s not a word! lol) – I usually have all kinds of side effects but this week…I haven’t had any! I still look the same, I still feel the same, you’d think I’d been eating normal all week for the lack of effect my eating and non exercising has had on me…don’t know what my body is up to but maybe my bad week won’t screw up my weight loss too much since so far it hasn’t created any noticeable changes…course, I’ll go hiking and boating tomorrow and probably almost die from not having the right type of food in my body to provide me with energy lol 😛 but that’ll be my own fault and serve me right! lol 😀

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Balance

27 Aug

I believe in balance. I don’t always like it, but it’s shown up so many times in my life that I long ago accepted it is there and I have no control over it. 🙂

Nature contains balance, for every predatory animal there is a prey, for every sunny day there is a dark night, for every boom in mosquito population there will be a rise in the dragonfly population and when all those mozzies get eaten by the dragonflies the dragonfly population will decrease.

I think because there is balance in nature it is only natural that there is balance in the lives of humans, after all we are a part of nature (even though we seem to like to forget that). I don’t think everyone notices the balance, or maybe they just don’t connect the different experiences that balance each other out. Or maybe I am just crazy? lol.

Why am I nattering on about balance? Simple, all my good happy lucky woohoo stuff that happened this past week on Wednesday and Thursday got balanced out by a crappy Friday. sigh.

I should have known better then to get all psyched about how things were going last week and I definitely should have known better then to yap on about the good stuff. *rolls eyes* Whenever I really really really want something or am about to get something and am crazy excited about it something happens and I don’t get it. While that sucks all on its own it’s worse if I have told people about what I am psyched about cause then I have people asking how it went and then when I have to say whatever it was that was supposed to happen didn’t happen I have to deal with “the look” and “the tone” – the look and vocal tone being that of pity, ugh, I hate pity.

So how did all the awesome stuff that happened on Wednesday and Thursday get balanced out on Friday? Well! I had the interview with the agent and it went horrible! The guy was totally unprofessional and it was a complete waste of my time! I was so disappointed cause going into the interview I had been so excited but that interview, ugh, nothing good came out of that! So as if that wasn’t bad enough I had to go fill a prescription I got the day before. When I went to the doctors I found out the medication I am normally on is not covered by the new drug plan I am on so the doc prescribed a different drug (that may or may not work) but that is covered by the drug plan. Well, when I got to the pharmacy the pharmacist said that no that drug isn’t covered by my plan it is a different drug that is covered so now I will have to go back to a doctor, get this other drug prescribed to me (that may or may not work) and then get that filled. So now I am unmedicated and can’t get to a doctor for the new prescription till Monday and by then let’s just say things could go verra verra badly. eek!

You may have noticed my “may or may not work” comments? That’s because the drugs that are covered by the plan are lesser versions of the medication I am normally on, so, what I am normally on works perfectly. But can I get that medication? Why no, no I can not. Grr. So I have to take this first drug (the one I don’t have the prescription for yet) for a month, if that one doesn’t work I have to go back to the doctor and they will prescribe me the second drug (which is the one the doctor accidentally prescribed for me this time) and take that for a month and if that doesn’t work then I have to try a third one for a month THEN if that one doesn’t work the doc has to write a special letter saying I have tried all these other drugs and the doc has seen that they do not work for me and only then will my plan cover the drug that does work. Can you believe that?!?! I can potentially be sick for 3 months (if the drugs don’t work) before I can get back on the drugs that work…and once I am on my drug again it’ll of been so long since I was on it it’ll take ages for my body to absorb enough for it to work properly again. ugh.

I hate drug plans. 😦 Grr!

So there ya have it, the interview that was supposed to be the beginning of a new chapter of my working life was quite possibly the worst interview I have ever been on and my easy peasy drug refill errand has turned in to prescription drug hell. *rolls eyes*

I was oh so upset yesterday while this was all happening, there were a couple times I wanted to cry but when I called my parents to tell them about the interview (I had promised them a couple days prior I would) my mom got me laughing, she’s good at that. It must be a mom thing, she always makes things better. 🙂

But there is the balance! I was so happy, and so excited, and having such good luck and then karma/the universe/nature whatever you want to call it kicked me in the teeth and brought me back down to earth. And really, that’s fine, it’s life, it’s how things go and no one can be all revved up and psyched all the time, unless their drugged…lol, but I really wish the balance had come in some other way then messing with my interview…

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I Won SILVER!

20 Aug

My Silver Medal!

Oh yah baby! We won Silver!!! wOOt! wOOt! 😀 😀 😀 *fist pump*

*sidenote: aaaaahhhhhh! I wrote an entire post about today and when I went and pressed Publish wordpress deleted everything but the picture! my second drafts are never as much fun as my first drafts, sigh*

Today I competed at the Stevenston Dragon Boat Festival, it was held in Richmond BC. 😀

The entire day was soooooo awesome I don’t even know where to begin! 😀

KL came to my place at 8am, I was awake at 6:20am after a measly 3 hours of bad sleep, ugh. Not the best start to a long day but oh well! I wanted to make sure I was up early enough to get ready and have time to eat a proper breakfast, my thinking was that starting my day with a healthy breakfast would help fuel my body through at least the first race and would help me eat properly for the rest of the day. I’m really glad I chose to eat breakfast at home cause when we got to the racing site all the food vendors and the majority of the food my teammates brought was unhealthy. At our tent we had timbits, donuts, cookies, banana bread, cranberry ginger bread, bagels…to be fair, we also had veggies (which I brought), some fruit – cause our coach made us promise to bring bananas (potassium = goooooood! lol), there was also a bit of grapes and a watermelon…so, ok, not all of the food was bad but most of it was!

We had to race in 4 heats, the first two were 200 metres and the second two were 500 metres. After the first race we all got back to the tent and dive bombed the food table, lol, this happens after every race! I don’t really understand why, like under 3 minutes of intense exertion has totally wiped us out and we must immediately refuel or risk faaaaading away. teehee. We had less then an hour until our next race so I nixed the idea of eating the salad I brought for my lunch and instead ate 1 C of strawberries and 1 light babybell, both of which I brought, lol. It’s weird, the entire day, I never felt hungry. When I did eat it was usually some fruit and I was only eating that to help keep me hydrated, shrug, ah well, doesn’t seem to have hurt me in the end. 🙂

The third race was to determine who qualified for the finals, for some reason if your team came in first or third you would go on to medal races but if you finished second or fourth you went to, um, shoot, what were they called? consolation races? that doesn’t seem quite right…basically, you would get to race one more time but not win anything, shrug. I don’t know why it wasn’t the first and second placed teams in those heats that went on to compete for a medal but hey, who am I to question? lol

For our fourth race all the competing teams were ready to go when an official called over the steerer and drummer from each team and they were all having an official looking convo. Then the official turned around and told us that two of the teams competing had “sandbagged” to get in to this heat and to make things fair teams had to swap steerers and drummers! There was a massive uproar! The drummer is the person who is responsible for keeping the team in sync, informing the team when we are switching to a different type of stroke and also they are the person who yells at us the whole way to keep us going – these people are NOT interchangeable! Turns out this was the officials idea of a joke, odd sense of humour that man has. *rolls eyes* A good side benefit to this joke was we were all riled up and ready to take that excess energy we had immediately built up to fight this unfairness out on the water. Sadly though, our team lost all that riled up energy because it took us so long to be able to get in our boat, by the time we were in our boat we were more worried about if we were going to miss our race! Ack!

Some of the teams are there for fun, they aren’t as competitive as the other teams, not to say they don’t work their asses off,  they do! They just aim to have fun and enjoy the experience where as some of us (my team! lol) are there to WIN!! lol Some of the fun teams are geared towards making the sport accesible to people with disabilities. Like last racing weekend, there was a team that for every seeing rower there was a non-seeing rower. This time, the team that was vacating the boat that we were supposed to use for our race was a MS team. Not all the members have MS (from my understanding) but most do, those who have advanced MS were having extreme difficulties getting out of the boat. What normally takes a team about 1 minute to accomplish took this team closer to 10 minutes to do. Since the races are scheduled down to the second for start times this is a problem. I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, I think it’s great that the sport is open to pretty much anyone who wants to try, but this delay put us at a disadvantage within our division because all the other teams we were racing against were already sitting at the start line while we hadn’t even left the dock (which is at the finish line).

Usually, to get to the start line you row casually, you have to row 500 metres to get there and you don’t want to wear yourself out! You take your time, on the way your team will probably practice your starting strokes (that’s usually your first 30 strokes), then go back to rowing casually, this way you’re warmed up and pumped to go when you get there. You always want to be the first team at the start line because that means you have the most resting time before your race starts, you can relax, get in the zone, do what you need to do in order to prep yourself for what is to come. We were soooo late getting to the start line that we had to row faster then normal to get to the start line, then we right away had to turn around and get in our lane, as soon as we were turned the announcer was calling alignment and bam! we were off! We were yelling at each other right before the race started “no pain!” “no tired!” because of course we were all in pain, and we were all tired but we had to work past it, we had to act as if the next 500 metres decided everything – which they did, lol.

Just goes to show you what training and perseverance will get ya! Well, that and I told the team that bronze just doesn’t look good against my skin tone so we had to at least get a silver! 😉

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Errand Day

18 Aug

Alrighty, so today was Errand Day, um, yah? lol. I actually like running errands – most of the time. I mean, I’m doing stuff that will (usually) in some way benefit me and what’s not to like about that? lol. I wasn’t in too much of a rush with the errands, I knew I probably wouldn’t get them finished in time for my Boxerfit class tonight but since my entire weekend is booked and this was my only time slot to get them done I figured I just might have to sacrifice the class tonight. Besides that perfectly reasonable reason for not hitting up Boxerfit class I also have: (1) last nights class contributed to the arthritis in my left knee flaring up (yes, I have arthritis, no, I am not old – I got a knee injury eons ago and severe arthritis in the knee is a never ending reminder of that *rolls eyes) and (2) the location Thursday’s class is at doesn’t have free parking and it’s farther away then the Wednesday and Friday classes so if I am gonna hafta miss one I’d rather miss the Thursday class (although, missing Thursday’s class means I miss my quick flirt session with the yummy Australian guy that works the front desk at that gym, *big dramatic sigh* 😉 )

Where was I going with this? Oh, right, Errand Day…wow, talk about getting a blank about the purpose of writing about Errand Day lol. Oh right! Ok, well, I ate my first meal of the day, did some stuff online, made up an old school list (on paper! crazed huh?) to make sure I didn’t forget to do anything, then I numbered everything on the list so I did everything in the most timely order (anal aren’t I? lol it has more to do with trying to conserve gas and not backtrack, shrug) then out into the world I went!

I immediately regretted going out so early cause I was being exposed to…dun dun dun…the sun! Ack!!! Since my burn I’ve been trying to do stuff in the evenings, when the sun is going down and is less damaging to my pasty white delicate recently sunburned skin. Only problem is stores have this tendancy to ya know, close at night, stupid closing hours, and if I didn’t go out until the sun went down I wouldn’t have been able to get everything done, shrug, so brave the sunny outdoor world did I! 😛

One of the things on my list was going to Tim Horton’s, this was going to be my second to last stop and was meant as a kind of treat – why I thought I deserved a treat for doing errands I do not know, I just did. shrug. lol. Well, when the time came to go to Timmy’s I refrained, yah! I decided I didn’t want to spend the points on the Iced Capp (which normally I totally think is worth the points, oh it’s so yum and if you get it made with milk instead of cream it’s not nearly as bad for you but still just as tasty!) and by that point I was really hungry and the one little timbit I would have gotten myself would have done nothing to fill me up so really, why go? I figured it was a better plan to wait till I got home where I could make myself a healthy dinner (yeah you read that right, I totally missed a meal cause I was so busy running errands – no wonder I was so hungry, eesh). My plan got a teensy tiny bit messed up though cause my last stop was Safeway to see if the Chicken Breasts that I tried to buy yesterday were in stock, the guy yesterday said they would be in stock today so I had it in my brain they would be and already had my dinner planned – I was gonna make a salad and have one of the cooked (duh!) chicken breasts cut up and put in the salad, I was very much looking forward to this dinner. It’s simple I know, and maybe doesn’t sound all that exciting but oh well, I really like it. 🙂

I had to buy another salad, I bought one yesterday but am saving it for Saturday, so I got a second salad then went to the frozen meat section and guess what? The shelves were just as empty as yesterday! I asked a guy at the meat counter if he could check the back and he said he had checked just a bit earlier for a different customer and there were no more back there, sigh.

Now I was kinda screwed, my dinner plan was thrown out the window and I was in a grocery store, wandering aimlessly, while hungry!…never good! *scared face*

I really wanted meat! Which is kind of a rare thing for me, I mean, I like meat but very rarely crave it and I don’t generally eat it on a daily basis but today my body was all about wanting meat. I looked at boxes of frozen burger patties but they are like $14 and I can’t spend that, so then I looked at the raw meat thinking I could just make my own (I seem to be doing that a lot lately) but I really wasn’t in the mood sooooo I continued to wander…

By the time my wandering was over I ended up with: salad, maple leaf ready to serve skinless chicken breasts (the kind all cut up ready to be put on salads etc), provolone cheese from the deli, 80grams of schneider’s low fat deli chicken breast, the deli’s home made mac n cheese, um…hmm, I think that’s it, but that’s bad enough! Turns out the cheese is 3 points for 1oz (1 slice), holy crap! for cheese?!?! I guess I got so used to eating Light Cheese I forgot how bad for you “normal” cheese is, I just thought it’d be nice to try a new kind, sigh. The salad, ready to eat chicken and deli meat chicken I don’t feel bad about, they are all healthy (in fact, I ate the salad with 25 grams of the Maple Leaf chicken tossed in for dinner, yum!) but the mac n cheese?!?! *groan* WHAT was I thinking? *double sigh* I know what I was thinking…I was thinking I was frickin starving and that in such a state of hunger a salad with some meat on it didn’t seem like enough to satisfy me (even though I know it is!) so I bought the mac n cheese thinking I’d have it with dinner, or maybe instead of the salad…stupid. stupid. stupid.

Now I have a horrendously bad for me mac n cheese in my fridge and I am gonna hafta eat it cause I can’t afford to waste food but geez, even while it’s gonna taste delish it’s gonna kinda suck. I never thought when I started all this something as simple as mac n cheese would be able to put me into spasms of conflict. *rolls eyes*

My Errand Day closed with me taking apart my dining table so I could replace it with a rockin ooooooold table that mom and dad let me pinch from the house on my last visit. It’s actually a little desk type table, I think once upon a time it was one of those little desks that had a mirror on the back and women used to sit at to do their makeup or something. Whatev, for some reason I really like the table but the only place it could fit was where my dining table was which is perfect cause the table I had was crap and too big for the space anyways. I also attempted to use the snake thing I bought during the day in an attempt to clear out a clog in my shower drain, I don’t know what is down there but I end up in ankle deep water everytime I shower and if that isn’t bad enough weird stuff is starting to come up from the drain, like flecks of I dunno, rust or something, ugh, it’s disgusting. The snake thing didn’t work, the head of it won’t fit down the drain so I hafta take it back, but the drano I also bought made it a little bit better so maybe whatever is down there will eventually go away?

So that was my day, oh, I’ll recap points for ya real quick, I earned 0 exercise points (sigh), I ate my daily 20 points and I also ate 1 flex point…it could’ve been worse and it could’ve been better – I’ll decide how I feel about it later lol. 😀

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