Tag Archives: sick

I’m Back and I Can’t Breathe

28 Dec

I’m sick and I can’t breathe and I have no appetite and I have to work tomorrow and I’m going to bed soon. *yawn*

I managed to catch a cold the day before I left Alberta, boo! Every time I go home for Christmas I get sick. Every. Time. I was so sure I’d managed to ditch that particular tradition but my immune system apparently had other ideas. Stupid immune system. lol

If you take away the getting sick part of my trip I had a great time! Got to hang out a lot with my parents which I am sooooo grateful for, I miss them lots and was glad to have a whole bunch of quality time with them. My last full day there I hung out with various friends. It’s always good to catch up and gossip with my peeps. 🙂 I wish I’d been able to have a longer trip but even as I miss my family and friends that are in Alberta I also miss here. This is where I live after all, where my cat is, my BC friends, my soon to be awesome career (please please please let the acting gods be with me! lol).

One other thing I miss when I’m not here in BC? The weather! I left -21C weather (and colder) this afternoon to come back to +5 with nooooo windchill! wOOt! 😀 Also no snow, no icy roads, no winter in the traditional Canadian style lol

Normally I get sicker earlier in my Christmas visit and as a result two things happen. The first is my mom takes care of me for a couple days and that is always nice. The other is I lose weight. I’m the only person I know who loses weight every Christmas and ya know what, I don’t care if I lose it cause I am sick, I lose it and I keep it off and all is merry and bright. lol 🙂

This year however I got sick late in the visit, the night before I had to leave. Which means that while my mom (and dad) were sympathetic that I was sick there was no coddling cause I had stuff to do before leaving. I did however get a nice big bowl of my mom’s homemade turkey soup, best soup ever! It was delish! Also, I didn’t lose weight this year. *gasp* In fact, I think I gained weight. Who am I kidding, of course I gained weight there is no “I think” about it!

this would be me if I was a cat

this would be me if I was a cat

I exercised two of my days there but I ate ridiculous amounts of food all but one of my days there sooooooo weight gain. Guess I can’t gloat about how I always lose weight at Christmas anymore…sigh…

I am not worried about it thought cause (1) I’m sick now which means I won’t have an appetite till I am better which translates in to lost weight (yay!) and (2) I was researching before I even left for Alberta a new workout schedule for once I got back to BC which means before I even gained the weight I had a plan to get in better shape. How awesome is that?! It’s not even some weird kooky trend type of thing but a solid work out plan, blatantly stolen from a legit fitness website. Crazy days!

So sure, I have a bit more padding on me (which fyi, did nothing to keep me warm in the -35C weather!) but I’m gonna get rid of it soon so, meh, who cares? 🙂

i-will-finish-what-i-started

 

Yeah I have to start over again after Christmas but I didn’t quit, I just paused a little bit lol Tomorrow I will start back eating healthy and as soon as this cold starts to go away I’ll be at the gym so this is me restarting for perhaps the billionth time lol but at least I am restarting!

If you stumbled a bit over the holidays don’t fret, just get up tomorrow and restart. 🙂 You’ll get to your goal eventually as long as you keep going. Think happy thoughts everyone!

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The Aftermath

13 Nov

It is amazing how being sick can throw everything off kilter, and I mean everything! 

"No More Sick Days Allowed!" says me to me

“No More Sick Days Allowed!” says me to me

This past Monday was my first day feeling healthy, yay! 😀 I only had one coughing fit, I got to the end of my work day and still had most of my voice and energy, it was all kinds of good. This means that my days off are being used to get back on track food wise, exercise wise, errands wise, acting wise…you get the idea lol.

I have to go agent hunting, sooooo stressful! There is a lot that has to be done prior to submitting your info to agents when going agent hunting. You need new headshots, you need to get those headshots printed, you need to revamp your demo reel and resume. Submissions are all done electronically now so you have to take care of that.  For some people this might not be a big deal but for me it takes a while because it all costs money, sigh. And not small amounts of money, nope, decent chunks of the stuff, something I don’t have randomly lying around. I got my headshots done a bit ago but haven’t been able to afford to print them. I’m finally able to do that so I’ll be placing the order soon (as in tomorrow when the shop is open). I started the process of revamping my online account so I can electronically submit to agents, I’ll be working more on it after I finish typing this post. I decided I can’t afford to redo my demo reel so I am going to continue using the one I have, luckily I still look the same (for the most part) and I am also working on memorizing a monologue to perform if the agents want to see something a bit newer. Luckily I’ve been working on some independent projects and can provide links to them, or at least to one of them (its on YouTube) and I juuuuust might be able to get a copy of something else I have been working on if I’m lucky! *crosses fingers* So that’s all good, I’m working on getting my submissions out there and while I wish I was moving a bit faster with it I am doing the best I can. 🙂

Food wise, well, hmm, a lot of food went bad while I was sick, oops! What can I say, when I am sick my appetite nose dives, shrug. I did a clean sweep of my fridge this evening and oh wow, soooooo much stuff had to be thrown out (well, technically, it was composted, but still!) I have been talking to a friend at work who is a personal trainer, asking for her help with getting in better shape. The way I work is easy, I need rules, I need someone to give me a list of rules, better yet an eating plan, a very specific eating plan, and I need for them to say “follow this, don’t deviate, deviating is cheating and you won’t lose weight if you cheat, just follow it even though it sucks and I guarantee it will work” or something along those lines lol. I had a friend who isn’t a trainer but who is in really good shape and he did something along those lines a long time ago, I think it was almost 2 years ago, wow, I can’t believe I’ve known him that long, crazy! Anyways! lol When I followed the eating plan he gave me it was hard, it was restrictive, it was not conducive to having any kind of social life but it worked. Something that works is what I want, I want that more then a huge wide variety of food, I want that more then a social life that revolves around eating, I want that more than anything (well, what I want most over anything ever is for my acting career to take off but that’s a slightly different topic…although still related…) I told her this and her response, after asking me a lot of questions and learning my eating habits as they are now, was to go Paleo. Ugh. I will do a whole separate post on what I think about Paleo but rest assured, it is not going to be a sunshiny review, I have not “drunk the Paleo kool-aid” so to speak lol. I started re-reading about Paleo, (I researched it last year), so I could refresh myself on the rules and basically skipped to the back of the book to read the recipes lol After reading the recipes I realized that this wasn’t gonna happen, not because the recipes seemed particularly hard or complex but because I just don’t want to cook that much, shrug. My fix for this whole needing-to-cook issue was to revert back to the eating plan my friend gave me two years ago. What he put me on was Paleo but Paleo gone hard core, as in oh.my.god. crazy hard core! Once I get back in to the routine of my hard core Paleo I will once a week try one of the Paleo recipes. This way, my food won’t be quite as boring, but I’ll be easing in to the whole cooking-in-a-whole-new-way-with-all-kinds-of-different-ingredients-thing while still following a strict but good eating plan. To accommodate my return to this hard core Paleo eating plan I went grocery shopping today, with a list! An actual list! lol It actually felt pretty good, going in there with a plan, getting just what I needed,  knowing that what I was buying was going to be used in a healthy way. I haven’t had that in a while, it was nice getting that back. 🙂

With my exercising, I went to a boxing class with a friend last night. I love boxing! I’ve always loved it but it is so pricey, sigh. It was a one off, I wasn’t actually intending to join the club lol but don’t look at me like that, the friend I went with was intending to join, and did join so we didn’t waste the trainers time. 😛 I maaaay have slightly over done it though, kind of a pushed a bit too hard too soon kind of thing, oops! This morning my voice was not quite all there and the throat was back to hurting and today I’ve been way low on energy, more so than normal. Because of that I didn’t go to the gym today like I intended but will for sure exercise tomorrow. Maybe it’s better to start back with the exercising by going every second day, don’t push the body too too far until for sure it is 100%? At least this is what I am telling myself lol

So the aftermath of my cold is slowly being dealt with, errands caught up with, eating plan back on track, exercising starting back up again, agent hunting preparation underway. That cold put me behind for 2 whole weeks but I’m back in the game now and will make up that lost time quick quick quick! Brace yourself for the awesomeness that I am going to be bringing, it will be epic! 😉

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Toasters Can Melt?!?!

7 Nov

I haven’t written in a while because I have been sick sick sick, ugh. All I would have written about is how I lost: my voice, my ability to swallow, my ability to breath, my ability to sleep and how I had gained: a fever, a throat that hurt so badly I was sure it was being hacked to pieces from throat gremlins, an upset stomach, a never ending cough and general misery. Double ugh!

It is now day, hmm, let’s see here, day 11 of being sick and all I can say is I think I am vaguely, slowly, bit by bit on the mend. Mostly all that is left to deal with is the inability to breath, talk and swallow…oh! and the cough, can’t forget the evil cough. sigh.

Putting all that aside, today is the first day since getting sick I have used the oven. This may seem shocking but keep in mind I barely cook normally so really, 11 days without using the oven isn’t all that shocking lol. 😛 When I had to go to work the kitchen fed me food I am sure was delicious but I could not taste, not even a little bit, it was depressing and when home I have been too tired to care about cooking so I’ve been living off of toast, banana pudding (soooo soothing on the throat!), I had chicken noodle soup one day (couldn’t taste a thing, sigh), um, and, there must be something else…oh yeah! a couple times I cooked an egg. Oh so exciting huh? See why I haven’t been writing? lol

Today I decided this is it, I actually feel different today! I’m still tiring easily, my throat still hurts, I’m still coughing, I still can’t breath through my nose and I still prefer to not talk buuuuuut something in me shifted. Maybe I am just sick of being sick. Maybe I just reached a level of boredom never before reached. Maybe my body is finally starting to fight back and I can somehow detect that. Personally I like the third option 😉

Because I felt differently today I decided I was going to cook an actual meal for dinner, sort of snub my nose as whatever bug has invaded my body. 🙂 It was a simple meal, some mixed frozen veggies and a turkey breast, easy peasy. I put the chicken in the oven, the veggies in the frying pan (no heat yet) and sat down. Then this smell started getting through even my blocked sinuses. It was the smell of burning. I couldn’t figure it out, there was nothing that could be burning in my apartment, so maybe it was coming from upstairs and working its way through the vents? I checked everything in my apartment that is electric, nothing was smoking, nothing was glitchy, so  I opened a window and tried to forget about it. After all, no smoke detectors were going off so whatever was causing that smell couldn’t be all that serious, right? Right!

Ha!

I went to the oven to finally turn the heat on under the veggies and noticed the smell was stronger. On top of the stove lives the kettle and sometimes the toaster. Normally both those items sit on the non-burner part of the stove top buuuut someone (possibly kitchen gremlins?) moved the toaster so it was sitting on top of one of the burners. Unfortunately the toaster was sitting on the back left burner which is where all the heat from the stove comes through, oops!

The result is this:

my poor toaster :(

my poor toaster 😦

The smell was disgusting! Plus, the plastic melted right on to the burner didn’t it? Why yes, yes it did, a nice big glob of melted plastic being all goopy on the burner. Ick.

I unplugged the toaster and moved it over to the sink area (I don’t have a kitchen counter, hence my toaster living on top of the stove) and hoped the plastic would cool quickly enough it wouldn’t goop onto the sink. Then I took a knife and scraped off the melted plastic from the burner. I’m gonna hafta take it off and actually scrub it but it was too hot to handle at that moment so scraping had to do.

I’m not certain if the toaster is safe to use at this point…I think it most likely is, I mean, the plastic at the bottom doesn’t have anything to do with the inside parts that actually toast the bread…right? And really, how important is structural integrity to a toaster? It’s only a toaster!

Personally I think this is further proof I am meant to be rich so I can hire a housekeeper/cook cause someone needs to save me from the various kitchen disasters I get into! lol 😉

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15 of 30

15 May

Today was Day 15 in both of my 30 Day Challenges. To see a day by day tracking of my progress go to the page at the top of my blog titled 30 Day Challenges, I update it every day with how it is going. 🙂

Today was really hard! I’ve been sick since yesterday which doesn’t help but oh well, I’m not gonna let being sick turn in to a reason to skip a day or quit altogether. I just worked through it, modified things a bit, and kept going. By modify I don’t mean do less work, I just mean taking slightly longer breaks between sets and doing the squats and abs at different times of the day to ensure I don’t max out my body all in one go. It seems to have worked because both days I managed to do everything I was supposed to.

What I reeeeally want to know is this: What sadist came up with these things?!?! And why was I dumb enough to decide to do them?!?!

I only sorta mean those two questions lol. 😛

cat sit up

These challenges are hard, and not like I thought I’d breeze through them but I don’t think I really grasped the concept of doing 140 squats, 70 sit-ups, 90 crunches, 42 leg lifts and a 60 second plank all in one day…what’s scary is that is just today, it’s just gonna keep getting worse more challenging from here on out, eek!

I don’t regret doing these challenges at all, even though all I’m doing right now is bitching about them lol They bring a bit of order to my life, which is weird, I know everyday I will at some point be in my living room doing my squats and my ab work (except for rest days of course!) and I am finding comfort in that. I’ve had days where I was so busy I didn’t get the exercises done until ridiculously late at night, and if I hadn’t been involved in these challenges I wouldn’t have done anything active those days, just shrugged it off as I didn’t have time blah blah blah and that is that. But I can’t do that for this month, I have to do the work! And by having to find time to fit the exercises in I am showing myself that no matter what you really can always find the time to work out. Sure, maybe you won’t always have the time to go for a 30 minute run, or hit up the gym to do some weight work but there is always something you can do.

Some things that I can always do?

– ride my exercise bike

– pop in an exercise dvd (I own like a hundred of the stupid things but never use them)

– do any of the various exercises I know that can be done at home (this includes core work, stretching, yoga moves etc)

– pull out my Wii Fit (don’t judge! that thing is so much fun and can really get you sweating!)

– if there isn’t time for a 30 minute run there might be time for a shorter run around the neighbourhood

– if I’m at work stay after my shift and run up and down the 11 flights of stairs a couple of times

– pull up a youtube exercise video

– play some music and dance while cleaning (you might be surprised how sweaty this can get you)

So right there, off the top of my head I came up with a list of 8 things I could do. You could probably do the same things, or mostly the same, so why not make up your own list? I know for myself, when I am tired, or don’t feel like exercising, or would rather be doing something more entertaining I draw a blank at exercise options that could fit in to my time frame, I think it is selective amnesia lol. To counter act this I am going to write out my list, and hopefully think of other things I can add to it, and stick it to a wall, or on my fridge, somewhere I can’t miss it so when I start to convince myself I can get away with no exercise for the day I will have right in front of me a list of things I could easily do, right then and there, and boom! can’t be a slacker if the list of activities is staring me in the face can I? Well, in all honesty I most like could, but hopefully I won’t! lol 😉

 

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A Slight Delay, sigh

18 Feb

Ok, so my plan for today didn’t work out but I have hope for later in the week, kinda lol.

I woke up this morning sick, ugh, talk about timing! My plan for today was to go to the gym after work, use my One Free Session coupon I printed off the website and assuming I liked the place sign up for a membership. I was so psyched for this (also kind of scared, but mostly excited lol). But yeah, so didn’t happen. All while getting ready for work this morning, and all during work I kept thinking maybe I’ll be ok by the time I’m done work, maybe I can still go! By the time I was done work though I was exhausted, and not the normal didn’t get enough sleep the night before exhausted but that lethargic tired you get when sick, and I was so so so cold and couldn’t get warm and my throat was killing me and…and…and…why go on listing symptoms right? We’ve all been sick so you know what was going on over here. Bleh.

I had no appetite all day but I made sure I ate a small breakfast and a provided by work lunch and I eventually managed to choke down some dinner. I’m pretty sure I could have gone the day without food cause that is how squashed down my appetite is but since I am trying to correct my not eating properly habits I figured it was better to force a mildly healthy days worth of food down my throat then not eat. Isn’t it feed a cold, starve a flu?…or something like that…or is it drown a cold as in I should have been drinking more fluids then normal? *confused face* hmm…I’ll have to google this cause I’m not sure which way it is supposed to go lol 😛

I am super annoyed that I didn’t get to the gym today cause I won’t have another chance to try until Wednesday, although maybe that is for the best cause that’ll give me an extra day to feel better…meh, whatever, I am still annoyed. I know some people think you should still work out when sick but I find that if I do that I take even longer to get better and the day after the work out I am in even worse shape then I probably would have been if I’d just stayed home and let my body rest. I figure each person has to figure out what works best for their body and go with that. 🙂

This cold is like a harassing little mosquito that won’t leave people alone. A couple people at work have also had it and it comes back, and back, and back! I was sick about two weeks ago, not so sick I was bedridden but sick enough getting through the work day was pretty hellish and on my days off I cancelled all my plans and just stayed home and tried to get better. I finally did get better, obviously, but then today was like some weird resurgence of the cold only instead of coming on gradually it hit me all at once. The same thing happened to two other people at work, they were sick with their colds 2-3 weeks ago and around the second week of being better they got sick again. So TF is sick again at the same time as me and CJ was sick for the second time last week, she said she only really felt sick for two days the second time around so I am hoping I only have one more day of this and then my immune system gets itself organized and kicks some invading microbes butts! *crossing fingers*

I don’t want all my plans to go out the window cause look at how long it took for me to stop being depressed about how I am and get motivated to change it! If I lose this momentum and end up down in the hole again thinking “what is the point so much damage has been done it is not fixable” can someone come slap me upside the head cause seriously, that is not a fun place to be. 😦

I did try to drink more fluids today but I don’t think I managed to drink as much as I normally do. See, I am a tea-aholic lol I drink tea like it is going out of style! I have a travel mug that I use at work that is constantly filled with tea, as soon as I finish one cup I make another, it’s like a never ending 8 hours of tea! 😀 Granted, I don’t drink it that fast cause the cup keeps it hot for a long time (the whole reason I use the travel mug and not a normal mug, sneaky huh? lol) but I definitely go through a lot of tea while working. Then when I get home the first thing I do is make a cup of tea and depending on my plans for the evening I either am out or home and if I am home I will be drinking more tea. Hey, there are no calories, it’s a fluid, holding a hot cup helps keep me warm-ish and I have English blood in my veins which basically means my blood is half tea 😉 being  a heavy tea drinker is practically my destiny lol. But today, I didn’t really want it as much. I wanted the hot cup to hold but that’s about it. My tea drinking was definitely not endless, shocking! When I got home I did have two cups of tea over the course of the evening and about a glass and a half of water, all of which were drunk in an attempt to make my throat feel better (fyi, totally didn’t work, sigh). As a result, now I am feeling mildly dehydrated and yet, my tummy doesn’t want anything in it so I guess it’ll be a battle of the body systems, wonder which will win? Will the body parts that want hydration be strong enough to tamp down the upset tummy feeling long enough that I will be able to drink some more water or will the tummy win and the water be a no-go mission? Ooooh, the suspense! 😉

To be honest, right now I don’t really care, about the missing out on the gym or the possibility of being able to drink something or anything cause I feel like crap and the only thought I have in my brain right now is going to bed…which is where I am headed riiiiiight now! *yawn*

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So Far Not So Good

30 Jan

Ok, so I wrote in my last post about how I bought actual real food from the grocery store and my goal for the week is to eat in more then I eat out and to actually cook meals not just eat peanut butter out of the jar and to have an actual breakfast, lunch and dinner daily that involved food groups and were well balanced in every sense of the word…wellllll, I may not be doing so good with that, oops!

In my defence, it’s only partially my fault…oh who am I kidding, it’s all my fault lol. 😛

Yesterday I slept in so didn’t eat anything before I ran to physio, after physio I got a hot chocolate and an apple danish from the coffee shop near my physio because I was starrrrrving! then I did errands (all pertaining to my cat) and got my butt off to work. Exciting huh? Since I didn’t have time to eat breakfast I sure as heck didn’t have time to make something to take with me and eat at work so I ate a slight variation on what was made in the kitchen that evening. I ended up having two crab cakes (I said I only wanted one but I have noticed that chefs seem to all have this crazy urge to over feed you, sigh) and a nice big salad, yum!

Then today I woke up sick, ugh, not crazy flu sick but definitely sick so I ended up staying home in an effort to baby my body back to health, here’s hoping it works! *crosses fingers* Oddly enough, I ended up eating three meals today! Three! In one day!!! It’s like the world has tipped on it’s axis or something! For breakfast I had a piece of chicken, mixed grilled veggies (there were zuchinni, red pepper and onion) and sliced yam, it was all quite yummy! Lunch was a bowl of shreddies cereal with a cut up banana on top and dinner was a grilled cheese sandwich with a tuscan tomato and basil bisque soup. I love that soup! I buy it at Safeway in the deli section, Mmm! Normally when I am sick I don’t eat, I just have no appetite and even less energy and I basically just don’t wanna lol but for some reason today I decided screw it, even if I am sick and I don’t feel like being in the kitchen I have to eat and why not do my best to eat proper meals and not just snack on some carrots.

So sure, the grilled cheese sandwich doesn’t fit in to the new rules I gave myself about what makes up a meal but hey, at least I ate and didn’t starve myself right? I feel like I should get points for that even though in reality I know I won’t lol

I am thinking though some slight changes to my rules might be needed…originally I decided I had to have three meals a day, breakfast could be small (I’m not a big breakfast person) so maybe some fruit and yogurt, simple ya know? Then lunch and dinner both had to have a protein and some veggies. I had to make the food more often then I bought a meal and, um, I think those were pretty much all my rules. Buuuuut, on days I work I can eat at work and generally the meals are healthy and with minor variations fit in to my rules for having a protein and a veggie so I’m thinking on work days if I eat the food from work it shouldn’t count against my rule for cooking my own food more then eating out cause, well, it’s made from fresher ingredients then anything I make, there will be a protein and a veggie serving and it’s only costing me $2…this is my thought on the matter, I’m still pondering it though so I may yet change my mind, we shall see!

As for today, I was inside all day sick which means nothing of interest happened so I have no funny stories to regale you with. The cat seems quite happy I spent time at home today, I was pretty much pinned to the living room chair all day by his body being sprawled across my lap while he slept, it’s good to know I have a purpose in this life *rolls eyes* lol

Here’s my inspiration for the day:

Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better!

So put down the cookie and go for a run, throw out the bag of chips and buy some fresh veggies, remember that what seems like a sacrifice today will one day be a habit you don’t even think about. You’ll stop hitting up the fast food joints and automatically make your own healthy dinner, you’ll stop reaching for the chocolate when you’re sad and automatically lace up your runners. You’ll reach your goals, and have the healthy body you want, and you’ll wonder why you put up such a fuss about giving up those mass produced cookies. What feels like a sacrifice today is actually you making the choice to do what is right and healthy for your body, you are putting you first, and that’s where you should always be!  🙂

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Not Sick But Not Well

16 Mar

You know that weird in between spot where you aren’t sick enough to be sick (and get sympathy and pity and special treatment from people 😉 ) but you’re not exactly well either so you’re just not up to doing your normal daily stuff and you kinda wanna crawl back in to bed and stay there?

Well, that’s me, I’ve been there for the past couple days, it’s sooooooo annoying! I woke up Wednesday super late (even for me! lol) and my first conscious thought was “oh no, I so don’t feel good, ugh.” All I wanted to do was go back to sleep but then I’d actually be literally sleeping the day away so up I got. I had no appetite, something that always happens to me when I am sick, and my throat hurt. Not hurt enough that I sounded weird or needed some sort of throat medicine crap but hurt as in I was way more aware of my throat then I should be. I thought for sure I am getting sick, I have all the early warning signs and well crap, how much does that suck??

My newest line of defence against getting/being sick is taking Airborne…ever heard of it? It’s this big ass pill you dissolve in 6oz of water and then chug it back, it comes in two different flavours, neither of which actually taste good, hence the chugging lol. It’s loaded up with zinc, iron, echinacea…all kinds of good for your body things. The pharmacist recommended it to me last christmas time when I was desperate to find something to help me not catch anything over the holidays, she said the Airborne thing boosts your immune system to prevent you from catching anything and if you’ve already caught something it’ll help battle it so you get rid of it sooner. So far Airborne has not steered me wrong. Everytime I start feeling sick I take it (twice a day) and I don’t get severely sick, I sorta linger in that kinda-sick world for a day or two then I get better, and hey, who doesn’t love that? lol

Back to Wednesday, I was so not feeling well and when that happens I just don’t eat but I had lots of stuff I had to do. I decided to skip the gym cause how can I go running (it was a cardio day) when I haven’t eaten anything and I have no energy? Can’t right? Right! I was working hard to make sure I felt no guilt about this decision lol. But get this, by about 8:45pm I was feeling well, not guilt exactly, but weird for having not gone to the gym, I still had stuff I had to do at home (things that had an actual deadline) but what did I do? I changed my clothes and hightailed it to the gym so I could squeeze in a run and some ab work and some stretching before they closed…a sure sign I was sick! 😉 When I got home I got a text from NC seeing if I wanted to chill which I did so I left all the stuff I had to do at home, lol, deadlines be damned! I can deal with it tomorrow! (aren’t I a great procrastinator? lol) got ready and went out. I managed to squeeze in my protein shake (the yummy one with all the fruit an stuff) after I got home from the gym and before I went out so at least I got some nutrients that day, other then that all I’d eaten was a pear, um, 3 chocolate chip cookies (I had been baking), some cookie dough batter (cause duh, who doesn’t eat the batter? lol) and my morning protein shake (the gross one that is just the powder and water)…not a lot of fuel huh?

Thursday was almost as bad, sigh. I got up early cause all that stuff I put off doing the evening before I had had had to do that morning as early as possible, I hate mornings. Unfortunately I still felt sick and my throat was doing worse, sigh. I got a tea to get me through my running around and I will admit, I caved and also got a hot cross bun, oh yum! and I got them to warm it up so holy crap was it gooooood. *smile of bliss just remembering how tasty it was* after I was done my errands (all done on time thank goodness, phew!) I went home and thought vaguely of going to the gym but had even less energy then the day before so I knew at that point it sure wasn’t happening. Instead I snacked oh so badly on some bakery goodies we had in the apartment, yeah yeah, I know! then I watched a cartoon (I like watching cartoon movies when I don’t feel well lol) and tried desperately to nap. Do you know how hard it is to nap when you are an insomniac??? It’s freakin hard! Eventually the roomie and her daughter came home so my attempt at napping went out the window lol. I made what I usually eat for brekkie (one egg, 2 slices of turkey bacon and 2 slices of tomato) and thought again briefly about going to the gym but even as I thought it I knew it wasn’t gonna happen. Which kinda sucks cause it was a weight training day and I like those but some days you just gotta let your body have a break and take a chance to get better ya know? Least, that’s what I think…Later that evening I also made my protein shake (the yummy one of course lol) cause I figured I wasn’t hungry but I could probably manage to drink the shake and that way I’d get a lot of vitamins etc…I never used to think like that lol.

I feel I should explain the hot cross bun and the bakery slip up…when I am sick I don’t eat, I just have no interest in food and can’t be bothered. I know this about myself so when I feel myself starting to get sick I tend to eat say a donut or something even when I know I shouldn’t cause I know it’ll probably be the only thing I eat that day. I figure better get as many calories in as possible per food item since I will barely be eating anything…does that make sense? Probably not lol 😛

Today I am feeling a bit better, my throat doesn’t hurt as much, I’m still taking my Airborne and well, I don’t have any energy back yet but I’m gonna blame that on two days of crap eating lol. I forced myself to go to the gym, had my cardio day, thought I might fall off the back of the treadmill cause it was a bit harder today then normal (I’m thinking cause I hadn’t eaten properly for two days so didn’t have a lot of stored energy? that’s really a guess, I have no idea lol) But I ate properly today, even though my appetite isn’t quite back to normal, I ate my morning protein shake, my fruit, my egg and turkey bacon and tomato slices, even had half a chicken breast and 2/3cups of mixed veggies, oh and of course my yummy protein shake after the gym lol. So hopefully that’ll make tomorrows exercise easier *crossing fingers*

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Well, I Was On A Roll…

28 Jul

Last week I kicked my own ass making sure I exercised lots and ate super great – it was a physically demanding week but I knew the exercise was a good thing. If you read my last post (or maybe it was the post before that…hmm…)I gained 3 pounds on the scale causing me to freak out.

I decided over the weekend that I’d push myself again this week and see if the scale became a better friend lol. Monday started off fine, I Dragon Boated like normal and ate nice n healthy. 🙂 Tuesday I filmed my demo reel (yah!) and had such a great time with it – I’ll write more about it farther down – but, towards the end of filming my throat started to really hurt and I realized I had a headache, well, whatev, I figured it’d go away and getting the scenes filmed was more important then my headache or sore throat. Yeah…well…by the time I got home my headache was feeling like it was going to be a migraine and my throat hurt so badly I could barely talk, erg. Not good.

I ended up going to bed at like 8pm (freakishly early for me!) with a fever, headache, sore throat, body aches and more. It was highly unpleasant, duh right? lol. I woke up around 10:30am wed and luckily my fever had broken and my body didn’t ache as much, an Advil helped with the headache but the sore throat remained. Sucky. I decided I was still too ill to go exercise, I was supposed to go to boxerfit that evening, but like the day before with my standard hike, I just wasn’t physically up to it and I hate when people go out and spread their sick germs so I try very hard to make sure I don’t do that. I tend to have high hopes about how quickly I will get better from things so I was all “oh for sure I’ll be fine for boxerfit on thursday” – sometimes I am so, well, dense. 😛

Today, Thursday, what a day! Oh man. Stress levels like you wouldn’t believe! Today is the day the email was set to go out to the top 44 agents in the city (hence my filming the demo reel), I had been warned that most agents, if they like the look of you, will contact you within 48hrs of seeing your demo reel and headshots because they want to snag you before someone else does so I was told to stay near my phone. Well, never have my cell and I been more connected lol. I wouldn’t even go to the next room without it just-in-case! 😛 Not like I was expecting a phone call the minute after the email went out but after a couple hours I started to get worried, by the end of business hours I was freaking out! Freaking!!! Did nobody like me? Did I suck? Did I have to start thinking of an alternate career path? How am I supposed to go back to AB next week and face people and explain no agents wanted me? Could I really just die of embarrassment? I checked my online portfolio and saw on the tracker that nobody had viewed my portfolio yet which was almost worse then lots of people seeing it and nobody contacting me…why weren’t people looking at it?

So, me being me, I emailed the tech guy who is in charge of editing the film and sending the emails and asked if he could please-oh-please check to make sure the email went out…his response was to apologize, he went to confirm the email went out and it didn’t, it was on some auto generated send thing and it didn’t auto generate send…stupid technology. Course, since I didn’t email him till end of business day there was no point in him sending it out today anymore and since this weekend is a long weekend there is no point in him sending it tomorrow cause most of the agents will most likely be enjoying an extra long long weekend and will have also taken the friday off sooooooooo it’s not getting sent out till next week.

Here I was stressing all day about the lack of phone calls, the only thing keeping me sane was my deep involvement in the fifth Harry Potter book (which, fyi, I just finished and am now starting on the sixth) and the stress was totally uncalled for cause no phone calls were ever gonna come. sigh. Good thing I don’t wrinkle or get white hair easily! 😛

Back to the exercising though, here it is thursday night and I have only exercised once, and that was way back on monday when I dragon boated. Crap. There goes my plan of kicking my own ass exercise wise again. hmm. I had so been hoping to get on track with that because once I get to AB I know any chances for exercising will rapidly disappear – happens everytime!

Hopefully I will feel well enough to exercise tomorrow and saturday, and well, since I know the email won’t be going out till next wednesday guess I won’t be feeling any stress about that till then…now if only I could get my appetite back all would be good…

 

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Closer To Normal

5 Apr

I’m slowly getting back to normal, yah! 🙂 I felt more normal today, and felt I looked closer to normal – by this I mean I was walking without hunching over my tummy and I am slightly more hydrated so I’m not as bony and sickly looking. lol. The only part of this I don’t like is that I think my tummy looks more poofy then when I was sick – I know it’s a healthy “poof” lol, it’s because I have food in my system again and I’m not gaunt but still…I had been enjoying the flatter look to my abdominal area and am a bit sad that it’s getting rounder again, sigh. *rolls eyes*

I even managed to eat a normal sized dinner today – amazing! 😉 I’m still not eating a lot during the day but I felt actual hunger this morning around 9:30am or so which I am taking as a sign that my tummy is digesting, phew, and my body is getting healthier and needs more energy. 🙂 See? All kinds of positive changes – and I suppose if a poofier tummy is the price I must pay for being healthier well, I’ll pay it – for now! One day this gut of mine will be flat – I’m determined about this! lol.

So today I ate:

2 pieces toast = 2 points

2 tsp margarine = 2 points

1 Activia Raspberry yogurt = 2 points

1 banana = 1 point

1 Fiesta Salad = 5 points

85 grams tofu = 2 points

1 tbls sweet and sour sauce = 0.5 points

Total points eaten = 14.5

Ok yeah, I have a lot of points left over but ugh, I’m still so full from dinner and don’t want to eat – I’ll find some kind of a snack I’m sure cause I can’t leave my points so low but it’s already after 8pm and I still don’t want my evening snack…it’s a slow process this getting back to normal! 😛

I find that I am having trouble reading my body – today was the first time I actually felt hungry so I have been eating when I notice that it is the normal time to be eating, not when I feel like I want to eat; if I waited till when I felt like eating I’d never eat! lol. Anyways, I have not felt hungry in like a week but when I notice it’s dinner time (for example) I eat dinner and then I keep eating, it’s like, I never felt hungry so I don’t know when to stop eating…weird huh? So I’ll sit and eat and eat and eat and when I get up I become aware of how sick I feel because I over ate, sigh, vicious cycle that.

On top of feeling gross from eating too much in one sitting I also feel way fat cause, well, hello? overeating always makes me feel fat, doesn’t it make you feel that way?

I can’t wait till I am back to normal and can understand what my body is trying to tell me! Until then I’ll use a clock to tell me when to eat and see if I can’t manage to eat a proper portion size and not go overboard – yeah right! lol.

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It’s Not You, It’s Me!

31 Mar

It’s not that things haven’t been happening since Friday (the day of my last post) it’s that first I was too busy, then too sick, then too exhausted from being sick to write – but things are looking up this evening and I am fully alert (yah!) so it’s catch up time! 🙂

Ok, let’s see, the weekend! Saturday I only ate a little bit over my points, I used I think 3 flex points? Sorry, don’t have my tracker near me to confirm that. Nothing horribly exciting food wise that day – I got up a bit earlier then normal cause I had an early afternoon shift at work so I ate more like a weekday then a weekend cause I had to have my food last over a full amount of hours instead of fewer due to having slept through a lot of them. lol. Oh! My weigh in – I lost 1 pound! 😀 Yah! I’m still bitter I am working on re-losing the 3 pounds I gained back, sigh, but hey, 1 down 2 to go – then back to my normal weight loss…ya know, pounds I haven’t lost yet? 😛

Sunday, up even earlier then saturday (can you believe it?!) cause I hooked up with a couple friends to go to brunch, yum! We went to a restaurant I had never heard of but it was totally worth it! I split my dish with KL cause both dishes sounded good to me and everytime she goes there she always wants to try something new but she orders the same dish as her last visit cause she loves it so much. lol. So she got a smoked salmon eggs benedict with avocado and I got french toast with strawberries and whipped cream. 🙂 In reality we each ate 1 1/2 pieces of french toast with some strawberries and whipped cream and we also each got half a serving of eggs benny, Mmm! Oh, there were also cubed hash browns – I had 4 of those dipped in either ketchup or some of my syrup lol.

After food we went to the mall, did some window shopping, I bought some toys for one of my nephews then we saw the movie Sucker Punch – great action! great effects! great music! not the best story line, or maybe it was better then I first thought cause I am still thinking about it and it seems everyone has a different interpretation of it…

Well, then Monday morning came around, and I don’t mean the normal 6am when (sadly) work mornings usually start for me, nope, I mean 4am when I woke up way sick. ugh. My poor tummy! I was horribly nastily sick to my stomach for like 6 hours!! That should so not be allowed! 😦 Once my entire digestive track had been emptied (least that’s what it felt like) I was unconcscious until the next day – well, not totally, I had small moments of consciousness when I was aware of how much like crap I felt like and how badly I wanted water but was unable to get it lol. Tuesday was better – I was able to get up, shower, sit on the couch…simple stuff like that. 🙂 I had no appetite at all but forced myself to eat a little bit otherwise I’d never have any energy the next day when I had to go back to work.

Wednesday was not great, went to work and felt like crap the whole day, only ate half an apple (slap on the wrist for me from weight watchers for that I’m sure! lol). After work I decided to skip the walk in clinic since up to this point they have not been all that helpful so I went to the ER of a small hospital that is near where I live (small hospital means small ER means shorter wait times 😉 ) and lemme tell ya, when you say “abdominal pain” you get in pretty fast. heh. Oh, in case you were wondering, I went in cause I actually was having abdominal pain and couldn’t eat cause of it I didn’t just make that up. 😛

The doctor couldn’t do much for me, shrug, doctors – they are all quacks. sigh. This guys theory is that the walk in clinic docs put me on so many (3) and such strong (the strongest) antibiotics in an attempt to cure my cough (that I have had since December) it killed ALL the bacteria in my digestive track (there’s good and bad bacteria right? well, we need the good but if they are dead then you are screwed when it comes to digesting – who knew??) so the pain (that until about 2 weeks ago) I had been experiencing daily for like a month and a half and that came back to an extreme this past Tuesday is due to lack of good bacteria in my gut? double sigh. Looks like I’m not digesting properly. So now I am taking pro-biotics and hopefully within a week things will be better…we shall see…

There we have it! A catch up of the past while. See? It wasn’t me ignoring you or giving up on blogging or weight watchers, it was just me not having time and then not being able to blog, no hard feelings? 🙂

Oh!Oh!Oh! I forgot to tell you! I weighed myself Tuesday just cause I was curious, I threw up so much I lost almost 3 pounds in one day! Kinda awesome huh? Makes me see why bulemics like losing weight their way – instant gratification. lol. 😉 No threat of that becoming my way of doing things – I’d rather only taste my food once thanks. 🙂

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