Tag Archives: weight watchers

Double Tap

24 Sep

teehee, double tap has absolutely nothing to do with my post I just really wanted to type it. It’s from the movie Zombieland which I just finished watching and enjoyed. It was funny; not crazy funny, not laugh out loud funny, but funny.Ya know?

I am about to re-watch  The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, seen that? I saw it in theatre and was floored by how amazingly great it was. I don’t understand why LA feels the need to remake the movie in english, what? Is all of north america so fricken lazy that they can’t read sub-titles?? This has become a pet peeve of mine, recently, as recent as oh, say, this past summer when I saw the movie in theatre. lol. I never really thought about it before but man, this movie rocks and should be allowed to stand on its own but for some reason they are gonna re-make it and since no other country has as much money to put in to a movie as the states it’s gonna get over shadowed, it’s just wrong. Luckily they have already finished filming the third in the trilogy so hopefully I will get to see the third in theatre before it gets shelfed in north america for the english speaking version.

And boy, that’s a lot of rambling about something that has nothing to do with my weight loss path…or does it? teehee. It is connected in that I love movies, could spend my entire day immersed in them and this I am sure has affected how I see the world, how I see people…how I see myself. I have crappy self esteem and a completely negative personal body image. I hate seeing myself in a mirror, in pictures…anywhere. I prefer going through my day not seeing what I look like – then I can imagine I look the way I feel I should look, the way my inner self looks. I think we all have inner selves but maybe you don’t, maybe it’s just me and I am a little bit weirder then I realized. lol. Don’t you have an image you think you project to the world in your head and every now and then you see yourself in a mirror and realize you are way off base? That the self-confident able to handle anything look you think you have actually looks like an overweight frumpy boring person?

Now, deep deep down I know I don’t look like a self-confident able to handle anything person, but I like to think I do and when I can’t see what I look like I can imagine I do…make sense? It’s all about tricking myself and I gotta say, I have gotten fairly good at it over the years. 😛 I am not one of those people who blames my body image issues on media, I don’t think it is the fault of movies or tv or magazines or books…sure most of the women I see and read are thin and beautiful in their own way but hey, I am working on the thin part and then, well, I won’t be beautiful but I will be quirky looking, thin and quirky…that’s a perfectly acceptable look, especially in the entertainment industry which I am hoping to break in to soon. Ya gotta work with what ya got, and ya gotta be honest about it…which means I have to be honest with  myself with what I will be cast as and a 5’8″ red haired blue eyed lady isn’t easy to cast, durn my red hair. sigh. I s’pose I could say “why wasn’t I born blonde?” but if I had my choice of any hair colour it’d be jet black and that’d be just as hard to cast as the red so ah well, I shall work with what I have. 😀 hmmm, all that sounds like a whiny babble and I s’pose it is but it doesn’t bother me all that much, not really. Sometimes I think about it, usually when it’s the day before weigh in day and I am inwardly freaking out about having to step on that stupid scale, but most days I can push it aside. 🙂 

I should stop looking at myself in the mirror in the bathroom, lol, sounds stupid I know but twice a day everyday I do a body scan, I turn, look at myself at different angles, try to see where the fat is coming off, and when I look in the evening I am poofier then in the mornings cause it’s end of day and this means I get all “it’s not working, I swear I am just as big as when I started…” blah blah blah. Seriously mirrors are bad bad things…maybe if the world got rid of mirrors none of us would have body image issues cause we would never really know what we look like…or maybe I should just not look in one right before I post cause man this did turn in to a ramble…oops…

Here’s what I ate today:

29 grams Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup skim milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 Lean Cuisine Honey Mustard Chicken = 5 points

1 english muffin = 3 points

1 battered frozen fish fillet = 4 points

1/2 cup mashed yam = 1.5 points

cooked mixed veg = 0 points

3 tbls Veggie Caviar = 1 point

20 Breton Minis = 2 points

This is a total of 22.5 points which would be perfect except that I am really hungry…hmm, don’t know what happened there. I should be fine, I ate spaced out meals like I am s’posed to but here it is 10:30pm and I feel like I could eat a meal…sigh. I know I have flex points and I am gonna hafta use some I just can’t figure out what to eat…I still have it set in my head to never ever use them so trying to figure out what to use them on is hard…what is really worth my flex points? The bigger question is how many of them do I want to use? Seriously, feel like I could eat a meal here but I don’t want to use that many this late in the day…must find a snack! Off to the kitchen I go…I’ll type ya after weigh in tomorrow…man, I shouldn’t think of that, now I want chocolate. lol. 😛

EDIT:

so for my snack I had 1/2 cup cottage cheese and an apple, that put me at 25.5 points for the day which is not so bad considering. 🙂

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Too Much Too Fast?

23 Sep

So I went back to work today after two days off sick and thought I was gonna hafta curl up in a ball under my desk and sleep. lol. I woke up a freakish half hour earlier then normal and had some moronic thought that hey, I’m awake why not get up now? And I actually did! This is why people should never make important decisions in the morning!

Anyways, there I am, up, early, oy, and at work nice n early. Now this might lead you to believe that I could then leave early at the end of day so no harm no foul right? Wrong. Thursdays are sword fighting night and if I have to stay downtown until class starts I might as well stay at work and get paid for the time. shrug. So there I was, at work, for what felt like forever and barely able to keep my eyes open. I apparently didn’t look very good cause I kept getting comments from co-workers, sigh, way to make me feel better people! eesh. I didn’t think I would make it to sword fighting class, I mean, if I can barely stay awake sitting at my desk how am I supposed to be able to hold my sword up for an hour and a half?

AC, who is a mom and sits beside me, was very mom-like in telling me I shouldn’t go to sword fighting I should go home, eat some soup and go to bed early. Isn’t that such a mom thing? Now, if I was vaguely responsible about things I would have taken that advice…and I let her think I was taking the advice btw. I learned from my own mom to never let them know ahead of time you aren’t gonna listen. lol. I left work and gee, somehow ended up at class. *shocked gasp* How’d that happen? 😛

I hate to say it but I think she was right, sigh, why are moms always right?? I had trouble keeping the correct posture and holding my sword up and I was so tired I felt like I was in a fog…course I was in that fog all day so that wasn’t really new…anyhoo, no energy me attempting to hit targets with my rapier…didn’t work out so well. 😛 Oh, but for all that I was not doing very well others did worse! One of the girls hit one of the other girls in the face with the tip of her sword. teehee. Now before you get all “omg, you’re laughing at someone getting stabbed with a sword!” the swords are tipped and she did not die…or lose her eye which was quite close to where the sword hit…she is bruised a bit but it’s like a victory wound. I am only bruised on the shoulder and collarbone area, shrug, nothing I can show off and give a good sword fighting story about. sigh.

My appetite was wonky today, didn’t want to eat for most of the time but then would have these moments where all of a sudden I was hungry. I managed to eat all of my points, yah me!, but haven’t managed to eat my exercise points, boo me!

Let’s run down what I ate:

29 grams Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1/2 banana = 1 point

1/2 cup Sidekicks Three Cheese pasta = 4 points

1 cup butternut squash soup = 2 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

1 Activia = 2 points

1 plum = 0.5 points

1/2 cup Chipotle BBQ baked beans = 2 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

1 light cheese slice = 1 point

1 Jolly Time Kettle Corn pckg = 1 point

1 pckg Quaker Granola Crunch’ers = 2 points

That puts me at 21.5 points for the day and 3 exercise points earned.

I know I said I ate all my points for the day and I thought I had until I was typing out my food list and realized I counted the full 2 points for the banana but I only ate half the banana, oops! Meh, a measly 0.5 points under won’t kill me tho…and I know I know, I have exercise points and I should eat them but come on, it’s 10pm and I am not hungry. (and yes, you imagine a whiny voice saying that, lol)

The plum, in case you were wondering, is only 0.5 a point because it was so small. There were two of them so it should have been a one point snack but one got bumped around really badly in my bag and was too bruised to eat, too bad cause the one I had was really yummy, nice n sweet. 🙂 Oh, and that granola snack at the end of the day, weirdly awesome. Something I bought on a whim, one bag is two points and one bag is a decent sized snack so that’s all good. They are odd tho, this granola and chocolate ball thing that is bite sized…it reminded me of something I can’t quite place, don’t you hate when that happens? I’ll just hafta eat them some more till I figure out what it reminds me of, oh the hardships! lol

So overall for today I feel like maybe I pushed it a bit but I am glad I went sword fighting…I could have done with another day off work tho, but hey, who couldn’t do with that? 😛

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My head may just stay on my neck after all, nice!

22 Sep

So day two of being sick but I am already starting to feel better, yah! A friend of mine in a completely different province seems to have the same thing, we were texting today and comparing symptoms and we are creepy in sync. We are both feeling better so that’s good. 🙂

I got closer to my points today – mostly cause I purposefully ate something really high in points lol, but I count even that as a step towards being better. The wanting and being able to eat less bland foods, definitly a sign I am almost better, right? Right!

Today I ate:

1 toasted pb & j sandwich

    – 2 pieces toast = 2 points

    – 1 tbls light peanut butter = 2 points

    – 1 tbls light raspberry jam = 1 point

1 cup Sidekicks Three Cheese Pasta = 8 points

So here I am at a total of 13 points for the day which you would think would be bad but it’s only 7:20pm so I have time to fit something else in there…I don’t know that I actually will but there is time. lol.

Being that all I did today was sit at home and recuperate I have nothing interesting to post about, shrug, sadness for all the readers who have gotten this far lol, but tomorrow I go back to work and I have a sword fighting class – I am sure something will happen that will be at least a bit interesting…and if not, well hell, I will find something to post about. 🙂

So for now I think I will go make a cup of tea and toast my immune system, cheers!

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Why do we all say it?

21 Sep

What is it we all say you wonder? It seems everyone I know, including myself, when sick say “I hate being sick” – or some variation of that. Uh, duh! Course you do! Who likes being sick? Well, besides those people with psychological disorders who actually get a kick out of the attention they get when sick…and I am not one of those! I hate being around people when I am sick, I want to hide in the dark till I am better. I hate people hearing me talk when my voice is barely there, I hate people seeing me blow my nose, cough until I think I am gonna hurl, nap on the couch…I just hate it all.

So of course I am sick. lol.

I haven’t spoken a word all day (it’s now 9:30pm) because of how much my throat hurts and my head feels like it’s gonna split open from the throbbing. Luckily my fever/chills broke earlier today so that part seems to be done with but oh man do I feel miserable. Here we go, I am gonna say it: I hate being sick. 😛

I managed to eat some food today, about 13 points, and that’s all I am gonna be able to manage. sigh. This better not screw up my weigh in day! Even today, when sick, when I finally managed to make it in to the kitchen to find something to eat I took my slider with me and calculated points. lol. Crazeee!

So here is what I ate today:

1 instant quaker oatmeal (maple and brown sugar) = 3 points

5 baby potatoes = 1 point

2 cheese slices = 2 points

1 piece bread = 1 point

1 cup 1% milk = 2 points

1 Activia yogurt cup = 2 points

1 banana = 2 points

Yup, that’s 13 points. That is rather pathetic.

The Biggest Loser season 10 started tonight, I have been watching it. I am oddly addicted to this show. I like seeing people who are bigger then me lose all that weight and become in way better shape then me…it makes me think I can reach my goal if I just keep trying. Last season was the first season I watched, man, every week I’d sit on the couch with a bowlful of ice cream or some chocolate or something and watch all these fat people kick their own asses (with the trainers help of course) to get where they wanted to be. I thought it was funny, me sitting there with junk food, while they have to eat uber healthy and exercise ridiculous amounts everyday…now I am thinkin the joke was on me, I sat there and got fatter and they worked their asses off – literally!

Right now I feel I have no motivation but that is because I am sick, shrug, it’ll come back as I get healthier and hopefully this tv season I will pick up exercise tips and stop sitting in front of the tv with huge portions of junk food. Oh yeah! It’s not just gonna be the biggest loser on tv this time around…it’s gonna be for real! Holla! 😀 lol

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Another Monday

20 Sep

The week has begun and so far nothing all that momentous has happened. lol. Come on, give me a break, it’s only monday! I need another day or two before something interesting is going to happen. 😛

I just finished eating a Weight Watchers Banana Nut Muffin, Mmm! It always surprises me when the Weight Watchers food tastes good and yet, over and over I am pleasantly surprised by the tastes I encounter. While I am very happy to be Canadian I do envy people in the states who have access to way more Weight Watchers foods then I do. sigh. There used to be more up here but for some reason WW stopped distributing most of it in Canada, double sigh. I get a wider variety of WW foods when I go to England for heavens sake! We do have some WW stuff, the muffins for example. There are also cookies…little 3 bite cakes (those aren’t so great, too dry)…um, yeah, stuff like that. If you go to actual WW meetings you can buy more stuff (I know this cause my mom goes) but I can’t afford the meetings so I can’t buy the stuff they have at the locations. Whenever I eat the WW snack packs they are ones my mom got me. 😀 Aren’t moms great? lol

What we do have though are Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines – frozen dinners and desserts that have the points pre-calculated and written on the box. Those are pretty good, expensive, but good. I usually have one frozen dinner a week, but I have it for lunch, cause there always seems to be one evening a week where I just don’t feel like making lunch for the next day. shrug. Whatcha gonna do? I’m lazy, lol, that’s what those frozen meals are for!

So far today I have eaten:

29 grams Honey Nut Cheerios = 2 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 Salad = 0 points

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1 light babybell = 1 point

1 tbls three cheese ranch = 1 point

1 Lean Cuisine Chicken a l’orange = 4 points

1 cup Butternut Squash soup = 2 points

1 Sandwich

    – 2 pieces bread = 2 points

    – .07 kg Fat Free Turkey Breast = 1 point

    – 1 tbls light miracle whip, mustard, tomato, lettuce = 0 points

    – 1 light cheese slice = 1 point

1 weight watchers banana nut muffin = 3 points

That puts me at a total of 22 points – still got 2 more points to go! I know I am always saying I don’t feel like eating all my points but today I really don’t feel like it. I blame SI, a guy at work, he came in to work last week (all last week!) really sick, coughing up lungs, sneezing, basically spreading all kinds of nasty germs around and I think I caught it…not quite as bad as what he had but some form of it. Grr! I hate when people come to work sick! They aren’t doing anybody any good, double grr! Sorry, I will attempt to not rant about it, it’s just we work in a closed air environment, I breathe in those stupid germs and then I get sick cause my immune system sucks…and I am starting to rant, sorry! 🙂

So yeah, to wrap all that up, I don’t feel well. sigh. When I don’t feel well I don’t wanna eat. I know some people when they get sick they eat for comfort, I go the opposite way – I stop eating completely. All day today I ate because it was the time to eat but not because I wanted to eat. I am hoping, by eating my fruits and veggies and protein I will keep my body running at a good level and help my immune system out and maybe this is as bad as I’ll get…it’s worth a shot!

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A Perfect 10!

19 Sep

I was scared to step on the scale today – so scared I put it off by an hour. I finally decided to just suck it up, step on the stupid thing and get that part of my day over and done with. All I hoped for was to be the same as last week cause as much as that would suck at least I wouldn’t have gained anymore…I just don’t think I could have dealt with gaining again. Lo and behold the number went down! wOOt! 😀

When I did the math it turns out I have lost exactly ten pounds! Yah! I finally got to the ten pounds lost mark! It only took me how frickin long? Well, ok, that isn’t the point and I will try not to dwell, lol.

Now I have a new fear, what if I screw this up and next week I gain again…there is no margin here, no safety net, I am at exactly ten pounds lost so all it takes is one screw up to lose that accomplishment and be back to having lost under ten pounds and that would suck the big one!

Because it’s the weekend and I slept in I got to eat higher pointed foods cause I had to use my points up in less time then normal, I always love and hate that. lol. It means I get to eat something I normally wouldn’t be able to – like pizza – but it also means that I snack on junk and struggle to eat balanced food groups. Stupid food groups. I think chocolate and ice cream should be food groups! 😛

My other fear is about how many points to eat. This past week I used some flex points and ate I think almost all of my exercise points – that is a lot of food and I struggled with it. I struggled with eating over my points because I was so used to thinking I was only allowed 22 points – the extra food was hard to deal with. Also, now that I know I am eating some flex points I found it harder to resist tempting foods, sounds wacky huh? When I was strict and only ate my 22 points of food everyday I (for the most part) didn’t have too hard a time resisting the bad for me stuff that popped up. If someone brought cupcakes in to work I would look then walk away, no biggy, but now I look and wonder…that wondering is gonna be a problem. Too may foods have opened up to me as potentials and really, all they will turn out to be is potential screw ups, potential pounds on my ass, potential eating binges…nothing good in that kind of potential and now I am surrounded by it. sigh.

I guess I have to learn how to be flexibly strict, lol, I don’t think that is even a real term…but it is now cause I have used it!

Today I ate:

1 piece of Delissio pizza = 5 points

1 banana = 2 points

2 Hershey’s Oh Henry cookies = 3 points

1 bag Fiesta Salad = 6.5 points

2 pieces of bread = 2 points

1 tbls Nutella = 2 points

1 apple = 1 point

1 thinsations Oreo cakesters = 2 points

Puts me at a total of 22.5 points used today. I am still a bit hungry but not gonna eat anything cause it’s late and the only food I can find is higher in points then what I am willing to eat. See? That’s another problem…now that I eat some of my flex points I am all “who cares I am at my points for the day, I feel peckish, eat something”…it’s like an evil voice in my head taunting me with the one thing I really want more of (food) but can’t have.  Grr to the evil voice!

For now though that evil voice can go drown if a vat of McDonald’s cooking oil cause I lost ten whole pounds and the voice can’t take that away from me!

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Some days I just don’t care…

17 Sep

I have days when I just can’t bring myself to care – I don’t mean this about only my weight loss, I mean about everything. I don’t care if I make it to work on time, if I eat, if I don’t eat, what I wear, who I see, what I do or don’t do…I just don’t give a damn. I don’t know why I get this way it just happens sometimes, it can last anywhere from a day to weeks, shrug, it’s not fun but oh well, it’s a quirk I guess.

This bout of my not caring started yesterday and extended for most of today; it seems to be lifting a bit – if it hadn’t started to lift I probably wouldn’t be writing this post. When this happens I tend to do what I normally do but less – that doesn’t make sense does it? I know what is expected of me so I do what is expected and no more, actually, usually a lot less. heh I am supposed to eat so I eat at the times I normally eat because if I don’t I will draw attention that I don’t want to have to deal with. I eat but I don’t care what I eat and I don’t care if I do eat as long as people think I am eating, get it? Nothing tastes the same either, it’s all more bland. shrug. It’s not only with food, if I had plans to go to a movie I usually stick with the plans cause to change plans causes more grief then I want to deal with but the movie won’t be as funny to me as it normally would…make sense?

I don’t know why I am trying to explain this, I have never told anybody about this before…oh the odd false sense of freedom writing on a blog gives a person. So I will stop whining about this since I am sure nobody actually cares – hell, it’s about me and I don’t even care. ugh.

Because of this mood I have been in my eating has been odd yesterday and today and yet, I learned something new about me. Normally when this happens I end up binging on some sort of totally unhealthy food, Kraft Dinner, McDonald’s, anything I consider comfort food which naturally ends up being something high fat. *rolls eyes* Well, yesterday after work I had to go to Safeway to grab something and ended up in the aisle with the Kraft Dinner, go figure! Even though I was buying it to over eat I still checked the nutritional info, say wha?? I compared every different kind of KD (I didn’t realize there were so many kinds!) I ended up with the sharp cheddar (which fyi, not as good as the original) because it is only 0.5 grams of fat more then the so called “healthier” versions. I didn’t actually check the points per serving when in the store but I did check it when I got home and was making it. It gets worse! I measured out the stupid stuff so I knew exactly how much I was eating…can you believe it?? I didn’t do it cause I was caring about the points or what I ate but because it’s become a habit and I always follow my habits when in these moods.

So, here I am moody and down and I still counted my points, talk about ingraining a habit in to my daily life.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

3/4 cup 1% milk = 1.5 points

1 banana = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

mixed raw veggies = 0 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

1 Amy’s Indian Mattar Paneer (frozen dinner) = 6 points

    – it had curried peas and paneer with rice and chana masala

2/3 cup Kraft Dinner = 4 points

5 baby potatoes = 1 point

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 Jolly Time Kettle Corn pckg = 1 point

That puts me at 22.5 points for the day; I have a Thinsations Oreo Cakesters package sitting beside me that I keep thinking about opening but I don’t actually want it, I just always end my day with chocolate so I keep thinking I should eat it. shrug. I may eat some fruit in a bit cause I am starting to feel peckish but really I am not all that bothered if I do or don’t get a snack. I am trying to use a couple flex points each day so I really should eat something…we’ll see what I get around to.

I know this post was a downer but look at the bright side – tomorrows post is bound to be more cheerful! 😛

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Oh. So. Tired…yawn

15 Sep

Alrighty, so I had this great post idea for today but I have been exhausted since I woke up and don’t want to write a long post…I just wanna go to bed, lol, so instead of my great idea I am gonna post an itty bitty post and then go crash. Aaaah, just the idea of sleep makes me grin. 😛 Sleeeeeeeeeeeep!

I posted ages ago about sleep and how it is uber important to get your full nights sleep every night cause if you don’t then your body holds on to its weight…since I learned that I have sorta tried to make sure I always get my sleep but some days I am just so freakin tired that I must not be getting enough. shrug. I am not sure if to compensate for not getting all my sleep I should not be eating as much, ya know, counter-act the body holding on to the weight? I have a feeling that is not the way to go, it would probably compound the entire hold on to the weight thing. sigh.

Have you noticed when you are tired you want to eat more and what you do want to eat is carbs? Ah, carbs, most things that contain carbs are my fave foods…numero uno is bread, sigh. But anyways, when tired your body craves instant energy creating foods so high sugar, high carbs, stuff like that…that is a big fat Danger Zone! Stay away! If you are tired but can’t go sleep eat some fruit – you’ll get your sugar but it’s naturally occuring sugar not processed and your body does better things with it. Or eat some protein…really, just eat something healthy. lol. Veggies wouldn’t kill ya. I did the opposite today, I drank a ton of tea and didn’t eat a lot of food until I got home when I had a nice yummy serving of pasta (carbs!) and some veggies. 🙂

I found I had less resistance to tempting foods today and I am not sure if that was because I was tired or because of knowing I am not restricted to 22 points anymore. There was food offered at work, normally I just say no and it’s not a problem but today I ate half a sandwich, a couple bites of salad, some of my food and I brought home a cookie and ate half (gave the other half to the roomie). That is a lot of food that I don’t have control over and so can’t for sure know how many points it is. Eeek! I’m worried I won’t be able to control as strictly what I eat because of knowing I am going to be eating some flex points and on certain days exercise points.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fiber 1 = 3 points

3/4 cup 1% milk = 1.5 points

1 banana = 2 points

1 serving homemade potato salad = 2 points

1/2 sandwich = 3 points

    – grain bread (2), 1 slice turkey (1), tomato and lettuce

85 grams Catelli whole wheat spaghetti = 5 points

1/4 cup Tomato Alfredo sauce = 2 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp margarine = 1 point

1/2 cookie = 3 points

That puts me at a total of 23.5 points eaten. Ok, so not a lot of flex points eaten but since I am guesstimating on the points for the sandwich and cookie who knows, maybe I ate more! lol. I had a spoonful of a rice salad and some spinach from a different salad that was topped with 1 walnut (yes, you read that right, I only ate 1), 2 little crumbles of feta cheese (yup, counted that too!) and less then 1 tsp of a vinagarette dressing. I ate such small amounts of those three things that at most combined they would be worth 1 point, shrug, because of the uber small portions I didn’t add them in to my food list cause it seemed a tad ridiculous. But if I want to count them that would put me at 24.5 points so there goes one more flex point, sigh.

Oh well, I am too tired to care I ate some flex points, I am however wanting more food but I am sure that is cause my body thinks it’s gonna be up for a while and it wants to create energy, silly body. lol. Hopefully going to bed nice n early tonight means I will be all alert and energetic tomorrow cause tomorrow is an exercise day and I don’t wanna be half asleep while wielding a sword. lol.

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Food Paranoia

14 Sep

So I thought I was over (well, kinda over) my having gained on the weekend until a convo at work where I got to hear about someone else and how they have lost 15 pounds in less time then I have been on weight watchers and blah blah blah. Lemme tell ya the Grrrs were sooo back! Then KB pointed out that the chicky that said she lost all that weight seems to be lying cause she always tell a different story. Phew. That made me feel way better. Well that and her clothes still fit all the same and mine are falling off. teehee 🙂

Isn’t it funny how people decide to lose weight and they immediately start lying about it? People are so weird. There are so many different lies! Some of my fave are: (1) I am never hungry, (2) I never cheat, (3) I love the new foods I am eating, (4) it’s so easy, I should have done this sooner! and (5) I have lost X amount of weight – but the amount lost is always rounded up…why round up? I always say how much I have lost to the first decimal point. I am proud of having lost some weight and I don’t feel the need to round up the amount I have lost…shrug…do you? I mean, if I said a couple weeks ago I had lost ten pounds cause I was almost at the ten pound mark then when I really (if  I ever! sigh) lose ten pounds I won’t be able to celebrate with people cause they will think I already hit that milestone…does that make sense? Maybe that’s just me…

Today I worked really hard on eating more then my daily points; I can’t believe I just wrote that! I have spent all this time learning to eat my 22 points a day – I didn’t want to eat over 22! I have been proud of myself for being able to teach myself to eat my daily points limit but today I threw that out the window and ate my exercise points…it’s causing me some stress. I don’t believe this whole ‘eat your exercise points and you’ll lose weight’  mantra- I know the math makes sense (to others) but my thinking towards food is not logical and is ingrained deeply in to my psyche and going against it is really freakin hard. In my head the less I eat the better so eating 22 points a day is hard because lots of days I don’t want to eat that much; I finally got my head around eating the 22 points and now I have to eat more???

I don’t know how I managed it but I ate my exercise points today, sigh, I noticed though that as soon as I was in to my exercise points I wanted to totally binge. My body seemed to think that since I was eating more then 22 points I could just go on an eating frenzy and it wanted everything! Even now, when I am not hungry and should be perfectly satisfied with my food for today I want more…more, more, more, more, more! Oh, and nothing I want is remotely healthy. lol. I almost ate a chocolate candy that I have, it’s 1 point and even though I had eaten all my exercise points I almost grabbed the candy because my mentality switched from “you have 22 points, eat only those and be strong” to “meh, you’re eating over your points anyways, what’s one more measly point?” This is sooooo Not good! The points were rigid in my head as the line to not cross, now they are flexible and can be moved and I don’t like that, as much as I hate rules for my food I need rules, otherwise I will screw this up.

Today I ate:

1 cup Fiber 1 = 3 points

1 1/2 cup 1% milk = 1.5 points

1 banana = 2 points

50 grams artificial crab = 1 point

1 cup Maple Baked Beans = 4 points

1 piece toast = 1 point

2 triangles Light Laughing Cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup blackberries = 1 point

1 kiwi = 1 point

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

1 corn on the cob = 1 point

1 tsp marg for the corn = 1 point

1 hamburger patty = 4 points

1 cheese slice = 1 point

1 weight watchers banana nut muffin = 3 points

Exercise points earned = 5 points

Total points eaten 27.5 points – that is 22 daily points, 5 exercise points, 0.5 flex point.

I am embarassed to write that, it seems so wrong to have eaten so much. sigh.  I don’t know if eating my exercise and flex points will get easier or if it will always be this much of a struggle, guess I’ll just have to see how it goes. The one thing I do know is if I don’t have a smaller number on that scale this weekend this whole eating the exercise and flex points thing is going to be under serious threat of ending!

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Bad Tartar Sauce, Bad!

13 Sep

You know you have had a condiment for too long when it expired in 2009…that wouldn’t be so bad except I didn’t read the expiry date so I measured out my tartar sauce, spread it on my fish dinner and oh man was it bad. So so bad! Luckily I tasted a little bit on my finger and realized which made me immediatly start scraping it off my fish, lol, and put ketchup on instead. I think I got enough of it off cause it’s been an hour or so and no sickly tummy yet! I think I will just stick with ketchup from now on, it is way less points and hello? Ketchup, yum! 😀

I decided I had to find something good weight/body/self-image wise from the weekend to help balance out the negativity from yesterday – here is what I got…a friend I hadn’t seen in 6 months or so is in the city visiting and we got together for coffee, I had tea. I was wearing a warm hoodie and jeans, nothing all that special, and we sat around talking for a couple hours. When we were done we walked through the mall together till we got to the door I needed to get to my car, we hugged bye and he started feeling up my upper back (get your minds out of the gutter!), he was all “holy crap, you’ve lost a bunch of weight!” – I just kinda shook it off cause I was all depressed about my weight gain on the scale that morning but looking back I should be grateful. Someone who hasn’t seen me in a while didn’t see a difference in my weight but he did notice when hugging me, and that’s kinda cool. 🙂 He wouldn’t have been able to tell from looking anyways cause of the sweater so I am not ticked he couldn’t visually see a difference. Oh, and he whistled at my butt! lol. That was more of a joke but I will take what I can get right now. lol. See, that’s what happens when you have crappy self-esteem, you take what you can get and aren’t picky about it cause you don’t expect to get anything better then that. lol. 😛

So there we go, I am still pissed about the weight gain but I found a positive for the weekend too – balancing things out, ya know?

I had three comments on my ranting post from yesterday and all of them said eating more points is a good thing and will help me lose weight. sigh. I have trouble eating my 22 points a day so I don’t know how I am s’posed to eat even more food, oh dear. The comment showing the math really helped it all make sense, how I am eating 1100 calories a day and if I exercise and earn 4 exercise points and don’t eat them that means I am actually only eating like 700 calories that day and even I know that isn’t good!  I am not eating over my points today, I just can’t do it! It’s already 9:20pm-ish and I am soooo full but tomorrow I will try really really hard to eat some of my exercise points. I think I will take a bigger lunch…that might help…if I can manage to eat it all that is. lol. I have started to eat Fibre 1 cereal which is one point higher from the other cereals I usually eat so that’s good; I will just have to keep looking for healthy foods I can eat that are a tad higher in points. This seems twisted since I have spent all this time finding low point foods to eat but hey, I’ll see what I can do!

Today I ate:

1 cup Fibre 1 = 3 points

1/2 cup 1% milk = 1 point

1 banana = 2 points

1 Prawn Salad Wrap = 3 points

1/2 cup cottage cheese = 2 points

2 triangles light laughing cow cheese = 1 point

1 cup raspberries = 1 point

1 piece frozen battered fish = 4 points

85 grams yam fries = 3 points

grilled veggies = 0 points

1 thinsations Oreo Cakesters pckg = 2 points

That puts me at 22 points for the day which I used to think was perfect but now I think means I am not eating enough…talk about needing to re-program what I had just finished programming. Oy!

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