Tag Archives: acting

That’s A Wrap!

31 May

This past Thursday I had the most amaaaaazing experience!

I shot my first…dun-dun-dun…commercial! 😀

<insert happy dance here>

I had the best time, I don’t have enough descriptive words in my vocabulary to properly describe how it was, think of every word that means amazing/stupendous/awesome/over-the-moon, string all those words together and that might come close to how much fun I had…maybe! lol

A paid acting job – can’t get better than that! 😀

It is a commercial for a local company and it is an online commercial so you won’t randomly come across it when watching tv but if I find a link for it once it is up online trust me when I say I will for sure share the link lol

The director and camera guy and sound guy and make-up lady and well, everybody that was there was nice, super friendly, gave me great feedback and was so much fun to work with! Couldn’t really have had a better time. 🙂

The commercial was set in a grocery store so that is where we filmed, first in the parking lot of a grocery store then when the shop was closed we were inside. Some random things I learned about grocery stores are:

– they never ever ever turn the music off

– the produce misters randomly mist during the night

– they are creepy when there is only a small group of you there and you know the store is closed

– the staff bathrooms are nasty

Some things I learned about myself after extended time in a grocery store:

– the longer I am standing in an aisle the more interesting the food in that aisle becomes

– I didn’t know you could buy iced tea in such large jugs

– it is instinct to want to reach out for items that are on sale so I can buy them, even though there is no staff to buy them from lol

We shot three different scenes, meant to take place on three different days, I am not sure if they will pick one they liked the best and use that for the commercial or if they are creating three separate commercials, that is not the type of information I am given. There were four actors total for this section of the commercial, there were others scenes being shot today that those of us that filmed in the grocery store won’t be in. I had to be on set for 5:30pm and be ready for filming by 6:30pm, that gave me enough time to do wardrobe and make-up and discuss with the director what I would be doing, oh, and also for meeting the other people I’d be in the scenes with. Some of the actors didn’t have to come till later in the day because the scenes with them in weren’t until later. I wrapped (that means I finished on set) a little after 4am, so a 10.5 hour shoot which is about right. It could have been a little shorter, well, a lot shorter I suppose, but after the sun was too low and we couldn’t film outside anymore we had to wait for the grocery store to close at 11pm before we could start setting up and filming inside. That gave us a nice break where we could get a hot drink, get fed (they feed you on set), hang out, do whatever. I didn’t go anywhere because I looked horrible lol My character is this really tired, defeated mom so my make-up was smudged and my hair was messy and my outfit was, um, not attractive lol Perfect for the character but nothing I’d want to go wandering around in…though I was quite comfy. 🙂

I got exceptionally awesome feedback from the director, he said I did a great job, he loved working with me, he said all kinds of good stuff but it’s rude to brag so I’ll stop with that lol

When it was all over I got home and arrived to this at my door…

large, pretty and nameless lol

large, pretty and nameless lol

They are from my landlord and his wife, they are from the garden. I don’t know what they are but they smell quite nice. I was reluctant to bring them in because the last time they gave me blooms from the garden there were ants in them and well, yuck! I carefully inspected these ones and they seem to be bug free, I’m hoping I didn’t miss the little buggers, I can’t abide insects in my place, *shudder*. Even though they weren’t left for me as a “good job” or “congrats” for the acting job I sort of pretended they were, well, for about a minute lol, then reality set in and I realized they wouldn’t remember that was the night I was filming and they were just being nice, shrug.

Oh and get this, as if getting to be on set wasn’t enough to make the day awesome prior to filming I had an audition, so it was a day filled with acting, acting and more acting! 😀 Oh how I wish all my days were like that, sigh.

I am determined that this is the beginning, the first noticeable step, from here on out it will be bigger and better and one day I’ll be making my living from acting, not just squeezing it in between day jobs!

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No More Back Up Plan

11 Apr

You may recall a short while ago I blogged about thinking about going back to University, specifically, going to Law School. I was torn between being a grown up, sucking it up, and just going already and following my dreams and staying with the acting. I had almost convinced myself that I would start studying for the LSATs and take the necessary steps to apply.  I would be a good lawyer, shrug, and I’m sure I would find it entertaining and challenging but it’s not acting. Nothing will ever be as good an option as acting. However, acting doesn’t pay very well unless you make it to the top and I’m sick and tired of being poor.

Turns out I don’t get to make the decision about going back to school, the government has chosen for me.

For those not in Canada let me explain how student loans work here. You apply, hopefully you get money, you go to school. Once you have been done school for a certain amount of time (6 months or a year, I can’t remember which) you are supposed to start paying back your student loans. However, if you are poor, which most recent graduates are, and not making a lot of money you can apply for Repayment Assistance. You send in a form, the people that manage the paying back of government student loans look at the form and decide if you are so poor you don’t have to make monthly payments.

I have always been that poor. 😦

When you qualify for Repayment Assistance the government pays the interest on your loan and you don’t have to make any payments, or you might have to make payments but small ones that are calculated based on what you earn.

Like I said, since graduation I have always been poor enough that I haven’t had to make monthly payments.

Well, the student loan people in all their “wisdom” have decided that I can now somehow magically afford to make monthly payments on my student loan. Uh, what?? I go a good 3 out of 4 weeks every month unable to buy groceries and only survive food wise because I work somewhere that has a kitchen and the chefs will feed me. I literally live paycheque to paycheque and now I have to find an extra $90 a month to give the student loan people??

student loans

Who does the math over there?? Do they not realize I live in a ridiculously expensive city? That I live on my own and therefore have to rely on my paycheque to pay for everything, no spouse/partner to help me out? That I have car payments? That I have other bills that I struggle to pay? Do they not realize that a person, no matter how little money they make, still needs to have enough left over every month so they can buy something fun otherwise they will go a little nuts?

The thing is, they know everything about me due to the nature of the organization. They have all kinds of info about me because of lending me money for school. They know what I earn, what my expenses are, where I live, the cost of living here, that I am human and sometimes need to buy something fun, they just don’t care.

They were more than willing to loan me money when I was younger, and stupider, and didn’t really grasp how hard life would be when I was done school, living on my own and trying to make ends meet and now that I am older, hopefully a bit wiser, and in the stage of life where I should be paying them back but can’t afford to, they don’t care.

They want their cut, just like everyone else and screw my need for groceries, rent, or anything else my money strains to pay for now.

As if that wasn’t mean enough the letter I got from them today telling me how much my monthly payments are also says:

“you are now restricted from future student financial assistance benefits, in the form of new student loans and grants should you decide to return to school in the future”

Huh.

So, even if I was the most gung-ho person ever with regards to going back to school it wouldn’t matter, cause I can’t afford it, they won’t give me money for it, and even if I somehow found a way to earn extra money I wouldn’t be allowed to save it up because they would increase how much I have to pay them every month.

While I can see the logic of not continuously loaning money out to people who can’t pay it back I can’t help but feel the system is flawed. I went to University, did well, decided to pursue an acting career, haven’t made money at it (yet!) and am now thinking about going to Law School. I’m pretty sure the argument can be made that lawyers will always be needed and it is a slightly more secure career path than acting, so you’d think they’d be ok with helping someone go to school so they can then earn a higher income which would enable them to not only be a more financially contributing member of society but also pay back their student loans.

But since the world isn’t run using my logic I must follow the rules they have set out, flawed as they are, which means no possibility of law school for me.

Good bye back up plan *waves somberly at UBC Law Department* guess I won’t be seeing you soon.

student loan meme

Sidenote: I am well aware not being able to pay back a student loan is a “first world problem” and I don’t mean to come off as a whiny, spoiled brat, I’m just frustrated with the student loan system. you can’t get a well paying job without a University education, you can’t get a University education without student loans, tuition keeps getting hiked up which means loan amounts keep getting hiked up but once you graduate the promised well paying jobs are not there and so you are shackled with a huge amount of debt, with a high interest rate, and a low paying job. All because you followed the rules that said going to University was the way to succeed. *rolls eyes*

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Awesome Sunday

1 Apr

Why can’t every day be like this past Sunday? Seriously, it was so much fun! Well…for me, others might not be that impressed with it lol 😛

It started off with something that wasn’t funny at the time but now is so sit back and enjoy a story that clearly shows you juuuuust how dumb I can be! 😉

cant brain today

I didn’t have to work on Sunday, I had booked the day off so I could attend an Acting Workshop. The class didn’t start till 11am which meant I didn’t have to be up until 8:30am which is sooooo lovely compared to my normal wake-up time of 5:20am on a Sunday cause of working at 7am. Ugh.

Anyways!

So I get to sleep in which right there is a great improvement to the day lol I set the alarm for 8:30am the night before and blissfully drift off to sleep. Cue the morning when the alarm goes off. I couldn’t believe how tired I felt considering I got 6 hours of  sleep but oh well, I roll out of bed, stumble my way to the shower and attempt to wake myself up while not drowning under the water spray. Next comes uber careful make-up application. More careful than normal since I am about to spend the day in front of a camera and I want to look good lol. After the make-up is complete I head towards the bedroom for hair and clothing. On the way I check the clock on the microwave to make sure I’m not running late and the time says, brace yourself!…6:22am. Um, what? That can’t be right, I didn’t get up till 8:30am. So I check the time on the stove clock, 6:22am. I start to get suspicious, they can’t both be wrong, can they? So I then go and check the one clock I know will never lie to me, my phone. Whaddya know, it says 6:23am.

What?!?! What is going on?? I check the alarm and there it is, my alarm is set for 8:30am so how in bloody hell did I end up with an alarm going off at 5:20am?

Turns out that while yes, I did set an alarm for 8:30am I forgot to turn off my alarm for 5:20am. Ooops! I was so tired when the 5:20am alarm went off, what with that being my approx 3 hours asleep mark I didn’t look at the clock, I just got up and started to get ready. I jipped myself our of 3 hours of sleep! *groan*

I did what any sensible person would do, I dried my hair, put my pajamas back on, crawled in to bed, spread my hair above my head on the pillow so I wouldn’t dent it while sleeping (just go with it, it’s a long-haired person thing), sternly lectured myself about not rolling over and ruining my make-up, and went back to sleep. Ahhh sleep! Since I was more than half ready for the day I got to sleep till 9am, wOOt!

*rolls eyes at self* I couldn’t believe I did that! Well, actually, yeah, I can lol but still!

What could have been taken as a bad omen for the day totally wasn’t, phew! My day was awesome – hence the title of this post lol 😛

The workshop was amazing!! As in completely, utterly, I wish I could do that everyday, amazing! The two ladies that ran it are Casting Directors so the workshop was half about getting to work on acting stuff and half about networking. Sometimes I suck at networking, I get stupidly shy at the worst moments and as a result come across as an idiot, or a bitch, or people thinking that I think I am better than everyone when that isn’t the case at all. It’s just that I’m a bit of an introvert and am socially awkward. I work really hard at being human when being social, I’d usually much rather be watching, not participating. But sometimes you just can’t do that, ya gotta participate. And I have to say, I did a damn fine job of it this time. The ladies were great, I made them laugh, they seemed to like me, they seemed to really like my acting. It was all kinds of perfect. 🙂

The hope is that now that they have seen me on camera, worked with me, met and hopefully liked me, next time my agent submits me for a project they are casting they will be all “oh hey, it’s H! we like her, let’s bring her in!” See how that works? Networking!

I was going to go for a run in the are afterwards but it was raining and I forgot about one important thing. Hunger. I often forget I am going to have to eat throughout the day, I really wish I didn’t since it takes up so much time, sigh. I drove home, made a delish wrap (I put honey glazed chicken, Mediterranean and stir-fry veggies in it, oh and I spread two triangles of Jalapeno Laughing Cow Cheese on the wrap), called and chatted with the parents for a while, attempted to digest what turned out to be way too big of a wrap (I put way too many veggies in there, so good but omg my poor tummy lol). Then I basically chilled with the cat before I went out in the evening.

I loved Sunday. Not because I got to sleep in – sorta. Not because I got to not be at work – though that was nice. Not because I had an interesting start to the day which gave me a funny story to share – that’s a bit of a bonus. But because for a chunk of my day I got to be an actor. I got to play. I got to be in front of the camera, working on scenes, some improv, some scripted. I got to meet two amazing casting directors who gave me great feedback, constructive criticism, and who provided an open and safe environment to act in. I got to hang with other actors and talk about the industry. I got to feel like I was being pro-active towards my acting career. I got to feel alive. *happy sigh*

I wish everyday could be like Sunday. 😀

happy

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Does Growing Up Mean You Have To Give Up?

29 Mar

Do you know what you were meant to be?

Some people believe there are destined career paths for all of us and it is just a matter of knowing yourself and knowing what that career path is. Sort of like your career soul mate.

I’ve known what I’ve wanted to be before I understood it was a career. We didn’t watch a lot of tv when I was growing up, mostly what was on the tv was news, hockey, once every four years the Olympics, oh and Saturday morning cartoons lol. Basically, the shows that had real people in them were things that actually really did have real people being themselves (like news anchors).

When I got a bit older and started watching things that weren’t cartoons I wanted to be so many different things because I thought the characters I saw on tv were real people. If I saw a show and there was a cop character I really liked I wanted to be a cop. Hell, when I watched Free Willy I was torn between wanting to be a runaway kid and a marine biologist lol I actually spent a chunk of time learning about dolphins and whales, pestering the trainers at the dolphin exhibit in the mall with all sorts of questions about the health and habits of dolphins because I wanted to know everything about them. I thought by being a marine biologist that would make me like the character in the movie. Oh my twisted logic! 😛

Growing up I wanted to be a lot of things because of this misunderstanding about the people on tv and in movies. Sure, kids want to be lots of different things as they grow up but all the careers I chose were because I wanted to be that person on tv, not because of the career itself.

As I got older I started learning more about Hollywood and tv filming etc and I was hit smack dab with the realization I was screwed. Hollywood is in LA, I can’t work in LA, I’m Canadian. I’m not going to be randomly spotted by a scout, or have an easy time figuring out how to get an agent cause not only am I in Canada, I am in the freakin prairies! Nothing film-wise happens there! I shoved down my desire to be an actress because it seemed impractical (I come from a very practical family) and more than that, it seemed impossible. I didn’t tell anyone what I wanted to be because I feared their responses, so I kept my wanting-to-act a secret and just daydreamed about it. Those daydreams were half torment (constantly thinking about something you are convinced you can’t have sucks) and my only escape from the life path I seemed stuck on.

growing up sucks

Then I learned about film school. I was close to finishing my Bachelor of Arts Degree and getting more and more depressed thinking about how when I finished my bachelors I was going to go write LSATS and go to law school and while I’d be making everyone in my family happy I’d be quietly miserable. It was either that or get my Masters in Sociology which was more tolerable of an idea but less likely to get me a career when I was done so what was the point? A friend showed me a pamphlet about the film school he was going to for Digital Game Design, as I was flipping through it I saw they had an Acting Department. I was floored. You can go to school to learn how to act in Canada? How did I not know this?? Probably because I was so busy trying to hide from myself just how desperately I wanted to act. I asked if I could keep the pamphlet and tucked it in my bag. I carried it around with me for days, pulling it out, re-reading it like it was some forbidden text. I checked the school out online and it opened something in me. The box I had stuffed my dream in to opened a crack and I experienced a little bit of hope that just maybe I could have a chance to follow my dream. I applied for Acting School on the sly, didn’t tell anyone, I figured if they didn’t accept me no one had to know and if they did well, I’d deal with that if it happened.

It totally happened. They got my submission package, it included two self-taped monologues, and I got immediate acceptance. They actually apologized for taking a day and a half to contact me but they had to wait for one more person to view the monologues before officially accepting me even though everyone who had watched my tape said yes to taking me in. It seemed unreal. I was so excited I wanted to get up and dance lol

So here I am, years later, living in BC, still trying to earn a living at acting. I had the unfortunate luck of getting a string of not-great agents (one literally disappeared!), and having day jobs that barely pay the bills meaning all the investments I as an actor am supposed to make to be viable in the industry very rarely get made (new headshots on a frequent basis, demo reels, appropriate wardrobe, continued acting classes/workshops and more). Acting is one of those things you have to invest a lot of money in to before you’ll get anything out of it and I never have the money, I’m impressed if I can pay my rent, bills and buy groceries all in one month! lol

A friend of mine lately has been on my case about going back to school, she says I am wasting my brain at my day job (which yeah, ok, I am) and she feels I should give up on acting and get a responsible career. sigh. She’s not the only one, I know my parents would love it if I’d quit with the acting and do something that was more sensible. And yeah, I’ve been poor a long time, and some days I think I’m done with it and can give up my dream if it means I can have a larger, steady paycheque that allows to me to pay my bills, get out of debt and maybe even save a little but when I really sit down and think about it I cringe. Not about the money part, of course I want more money, but the giving up on my dream part.

Acting is…it is my thing. It is what I was meant to do. Nothing else makes me feel the way acting does, whether it is working on a scene, being in front of a camera, plotting my rise to fame with my agent. Just the idea of giving up, of no longer trying makes me sad. But I know I have to grow up at some point, and maybe I am at that point. Maybe I can’t wait for a time where I don’t feel despondent about quitting acting, maybe that will never happen, maybe I just have to push all my dreams back in to a dark corner in my heart and forget about them, squish them down and become like everybody else, doing a job I don’t love but that pays the bills with a little left over.

With that in mind I have an appointment this coming week for a tour of the Law Department at UBC. If I’m gonna go back might as well go back to the original responsible plan right? I had convinced myself I was ok with this tour, that it would be interesting and maybe I was up for a change until I got an email from the University I got my Bachelors from. It was an email with highlights of what people have been doing and one of the highlights was about a play being put on by students there, my first thought was if I go to Law school I’ll never have the chance to perform again, I’ll be giving all that up, and my heart hurt a bit. Why does growing up and making grown up decisions have to include the death of my dream and involve my giving up on what I want?

Growing up sucks.

were adults

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My Last Three Days

21 Mar

My last three days have been busy, or at least they felt that way but when I look back on them I can’t figure out why they felt so busy…weird… 😛

Well ok, Tuesday wasn’t busy lol I slept in, chilled with the cat then went to dragon boat practice. After practice I made dinner, cooked a new fish dish which turned out well, when I say “well” I mean I didn’t give myself food poisoning lol It tasted fine, nothing great so I won’t be buying it again, shrug. It was healthy though, which was what I was aiming for so yay for getting that right! Although, someone out there will probably read what it was and say I am wrong *rolls eyes* Leave me with my delusions! lol

It was a coconut crusted piece of tilapia, there was seasoning in there too, not like it was just coconut but since it came pre-crusted/seasoned I couldn’t say for sure what those seasonings were…

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

tilapia coated with seasoning and coconut, yams and grilled peppers

I paired it with some red and yellow grilled peppers and some sliced yam, those were cooked in a pan on top of the stove with no butter/spray/oil used, I just put a small bit of water in the pan so the food didn’t stick. I was paranoid about cooking the fish, the instructions said cook for ten minutes per inch and a half of thickness, what?? That’s not cool, I want specific directions for my piece of fish, I want to be told exactly how many minutes for my fish, not have to figure it out myself cause dude, I’ll figure it out wrong! Least, that was the panicked thoughts going through my head lol Turns out it was cooked perfectly, go fig! 🙂

Wednesday I spent the afternoon with my lil sis at the mall. Normally I try to get us doing something active for at least part of our time together but her birthday was this week so I let her decide every thing we did Wednesday which meant we spent the entire time in the mall. Ah well, it’s her day! 🙂 We had fun, which was a given really lol I bought a new phone case for myself which I am in love with right now, every time I pick up my phone I laugh, teehee, and yes I know, I am easily amused. It is a someecards cover and looks like this…

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

cause I know you care what my phone case looks like lol

We had a pit stop at Tim Horton’s cause well, why wouldn’t we?? There is a new maple glazed doughnut out and all I can say to Timmy’s about that is bravo *slow clap* ya done goooooood! My other comment to them is where are all the winning cups?? It’s Roll Up The Rim game time and none of my cups have won so far! *pout*

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

medium steeped tea and a doughnut, classic!

In the evening I hung out with KL, we got dinner (Indian food, Mmm!), then saw the movie 12 Years A Slave and holy crap was it amazing! Brutal. But amazing. So no exercise for me at all on Wednesday, and lots of food, which is sorta reversed to how it is supposed to be but alas, Wednesday was two days ago so there’s nuthin I can do about it now! lol 😛

Sidenote:

Every time this commercial comes on tv I stop and watch. I love it, well, right up until it gets to the part about advertising for Centrum Science Multi-Vitamins cause I’m not on that whole vitamin bandwagon but I find the commercial inspiring (to a point). All those people, of various ages and backgrounds taking part in a wide variety of physical activities, leading healthy lifestyles, I dunno, something about it makes me want to do more. Try a new sport, or go back to one I used to do and stopped *cough*boxing*cough*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDvJ00qaPvA

Thursday!

I had a relaxing morning, went to an audition early afternoon, then dragon boat practice at night then out for dinner later that night. Thursday was a good day. 🙂

The audition went great, I got amazing feedback from the casting director so wOOt! wOOt! I can’t tell anything about the project or specifics about the auditions cause I signed a non-disclosure agreement but if it turns in to anything rest assured I’ll be linking it to my blog so you can all pretend to watch it lol 😉

At practice we got informed that us girls have to train twice as hard as the guys and that we (this time I mean everyone, not just the girls) are supposed to be eating healthy (duh!) and we aren’t supposed to drink alcohol…um, what? Not like I drink a lot or anything but…none? At all? Hmm…this woman really doesn’t know us lol

Her strictness with things did help curb my appetite today though, which I suppose is good, any little bit helps right? I had dinner at work but only cause it was a fish steak with veggies, there were other things with it (mashed potatoes, spring rolls, apple pie etc) but I didn’t eat those. Didn’t even snag a cookie for dessert!

Oh and lastly! A friend of mine who is a trainer informed me that a respectable time to complete my BMO Run is 45 minutes…I’m going to die…my training is pretty much non-existent, which is not good, I’ve gotta start kicking my own ass in to gear when it comes to running, ugh. Whyyyyyy did I sign up for this? Stupid-wanting-a-new-challenge-feeling *rolls eyes* 😛

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Middle Ground

15 Mar

I’ve got a pair of pants that when I bought them I thought they fit but once I got them home and wore them out for the first time I realized they were actually a bit too big. The crotch (I hate that word! lol) was too low so it rubbed against the inside of my thighs causing pain and raw skin…too much info? only happens to me? Yeah, sigh, figures… 😉 lol

Anyways! I put the pants in the dryer, a calculated risk, that I hoped would prove to be a smart idea. It did, sorta. The pants, after a couple runs through the dryer fit better around the waist, butt, hips and leg areas. They were a tad shorter than I like but not so much shorter I can’t still wear them with a variety of shoes. Phew! My legs are so long I hang to dry all pants because they can very quickly become too short and I look like that person who is expecting a flood 24/7 lol 😛

So today for work I wore the pants. I was maaaaaybe an hour in to my shift and every time I was standing or walking I was also pulling the pants up a bit and wishing I’d worn a belt. They were fitting looser in all areas but of course were still the tad too short they had been since the dryer stints.

I don’t know if this means I have lost a little bit of weight (please oh please mean I have lost some weight! *crosses fingers*) or if it means my pants have stretched out a bit or didn’t shrink quite as much as I realized. Obviously I’m hoping I got smaller not that my pants got bigger.

I seem to appear to be back in the middle ground of clothing sizes. I hate the middle ground. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it is that stage where you are becoming too small for one size but are still too big for the next size down so your clothes don’t fit nicely no matter what you wear. It sucks even if it is an indication you’re on the right track.

this goes for all clothes

this goes for all clothes

Thing is, I can’t think of anything that would have made me slim down a bit so I’m leaning towards the pants stretching out, which sucks.

I’ve been working on making small changes with my food, cutting out the processed foods I’d been enjoying during my off season, drinking more water, making sure to get protein in at every meal (well, ok, almost every meal, this is me after all lol), and, the big one, I’m eating less peanut butter! Shocking I know! I mean c’mon, I am the person who happily eats a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter and considers it a meal lol But yeah, small changes to my eating, nothing major, nothing to warrant slimming down enough to make pants fit looser.

One happy bonus to the pants fitting loosely this evening was it made it easier to resist bad-for-me-foods cause I kept thinking “if I have lost some weight I don’t wanna gain it back by making a stupid food choice” lol Oh the things I use for increasing my willpower! 😛

I have noticed lately that I am finding it easier to resist the foods that usually have me caving. Weird huh? Weird but awesome! If I walk through the bakery section at the grocery store I may glance at all the bakery items I usually drool over but I don’t pause and I definitely don’t buy. I contemplated pizza earlier in the week but easily managed to not order it. I’m finding it easier to not eat the foods at work.

I’m not sure where this increase in willpower has come from but I like it! 🙂 Maybe it’s because it’s dragon boat season again and I want to be in peak condition for practices and for the upcoming race season. Maybe it’s because I am “training” for the BMO Run and keep having horrifying images of a fat me being the last to cross the finish line at the run. Maybe it’s because I have had two auditions in the past two weeks (hoorah!) and want to look better and better for each upcoming audition. That and obviously the more confident I feel about how I look the less I will worry about it when in front of the camera meaning the more I can focus on my acting…and the  more I will look “right” according to casting directors.

It’s probably some combination of all these things and more, who knows what is lurking in my sub-conscious? lol 😉

Whatever it is, I am glad for it. Glad to be that person who easily walks past all the high calorie, processed, so tasty but so bad for me foods and buys the healthy stuff. Glad to be getting back to the way I used to be. Glad that this juuuuust might be the first step towards a healthier, stronger, slimmer me. *crosses fingers*

take the first step, put down the cookie!

take the first step, put down the cookie!

 

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Mish-Mash

30 Jan

I (quite unintentionally!) have not written in a couple days and it is driving me nuts! lol Not like some huge life altering thing happened in the last couple days just that I feel weird for having not written…go fig! 😛

So here’s a random mish-mash of thoughts that went through my head lately…

My mail for the day, wtf??

My mail for the day, wtf??

The above shows everything I got in the mail on Monday. W.T.F?!?! All ads for fast food, two are for pizza places, one for Quizno’s (and before you try to say Quizno’s sells subs and is healthy go look at the nutritional information, you might as well be eating at McDonald’s!). Why-oh-why don’t I ever see flyers with coupons in my mailbox for places that sell legit healthy food? Hmm? The ad industry is obviously trying to keep us all fat, *rolls eyes* lol I would go out of my way to use a coupon at a Pita Pit but I’ve never seen a flyer/coupon for them ever...

Which leads me to…Why are all the drive-thru food places only places that sell bad-for-me-food? When I was having all that hip pain I ended up going through a fast food drive thru because I (1) had limited food at home, what I had required being able to stand long enough to prep and cook it and I couldn’t do that (2) had been in the hospital for over five plus hours, was on my home and was really hungry and (3) wasn’t able to bare the pain of getting out of my suv, hobbling around a grocery store and then maneuvering back in to my suv to drive home. The only option for food that I had was various fast food joints that had drive-thru. Subway drive-thru? Nope. (and yes I know they count as fast food but at least you have healthy options there) Pita Pit drive-thru? Nope. Hell, a Booster Juice drive-thru? Definitely nope. Is it because if you are eating somewhere healthy you are supposed to be energetic enough to get out of your car to get your food? That seems discriminatory against people with mobility issues…just sayin…:P

Early Valentine's Day Gift

Early Valentine’s Day Gift

A friend of mine gave me the above slow cooker as an early Valentine’s gift and I am super stoked to use it! I got it Sunday and have yet to take it out of the box cause well, to be honest I haven’t been cooking much on these days off and it seems slow cookers take a bit of fore-thought. Not like pulling out a frying pan, tossing some stuff in it and boom! food! Nooooo, the slow cooker needs me to know in advance what I want to put in it and then use it. I don’t know that I am capable of that! lol 😉 I really wanted to use it before I go to work Friday afternoon cause I’ll be seeing the friend that gave it to me and I wanted a story of the epic meal I made in it but uh, I don’t think that’s really gonna happen…shoot…I should really go google slow cooker recipes, there might still be time?

My agent sent out some sides (that means copy of a script), I am to work on a couple scenes for a specific character, really nail it, then go film it at the office (he has studio space), it is to send to casting agents so they can see what I can do using a more recent script. I’m really psyched about it cause (1) it gives me something to work on not just that I came up with but that has a purpose and (2) shows my agent is planning/plotting/thinking which I loooooove!

My little sister and I met with the trainer again yesterday, makes for two Wednesdays in a row. 🙂 We had physical assessment tests done, he is going to email us our results but I haven’t gotten an email yet. I don’t know that I want to know the results lol I mean, I know how many push-ups I was able to do, and how long I lasted in the cardio-endurance test, I know I scored perfect on balance (which if you know me is funny cause I am always off balance lol) and I know how I did on some of the other things but I don’t think I want to know my body fat %, or my weight, or just how low I scored on my core strength (suuuuper low I am sure!). I just want all that to stay unknown to me and then when I get retested in a couple months or so I want to be told I improved…but specific numbers? That knowledge will just be depressing I think…We had homework for the past week, the food journal, I handed it in but don’t know what he has made of it yet, eek! This week my homework is to keep track of what physical fitness stuff I do and tell him next Wednesday, I feel he’ll be disappointed if I say I did nothing so I’m gonna hafta make sure I get off my ass and do something…

Speaking of getting off ones ass, I had wanted to go running today and had the perfect route! I had to go to work this afternoon for a meeting and thought I’d park at a grocery store then run to work, attend the meeting, and run back to my suv, perfect right?! 🙂 It would have been about 8km total (that’s 5 miles I believe) but it was crap ass weather, pouring rain, and while I was ok with attending the meeting being sweaty I wasn’t ok with attending it looking like a drowned rat. 😦 So that didn’t happen. I am just not a do-stuff-in-the-rain kind of person…unless it is dragon boating but hey, that’s a water sport, I’m gonna get wet anyways lol

I managed to steam a spaghetti squash tonight for the first time ever! Soooo happy it worked! I had to call my mom for some help and she very nicely ensured I didn’t screw it up lol I paired the squash with some feta cheese and a red pepper antipasto, it was ok. I also had a cheese and broccoli stuffed chicken breast which was super yum. 🙂 I took a picture but it doesn’t look good at all so I’ll leave you to your imagination on this one lol. 😛

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A Little Down Lately

18 Jan

Do you ever have days where for absolutely no reason you can point to you are a bit down? I’ve been having days like that lately and when I have the energy to care it pisses me off, mostly I don’t have the energy to care though lol

This evening I am a bit down but I know why. I got booked in a non-union no-pay commercial that is filming tomorrow. The plan was I would rush after work to the set and film, yay! Even though I wouldn’t be getting paid it would be good exposure and I looooove being on set. Plus, it is my first official booking with my new agent and it seemed like a great sign for how the rest of the year would go, so soon in the year getting a booking? What a wicked start!

Well, sigh, I got an email that the time of the shoot has been changed to tomorrow at 11:30am, I can’t make it because I will be at my day job and it wasn’t enough notice for me to swap shifts. Ugh. Luckily, because it is a no-pay gig I won’t get in trouble for not being able to go anymore but there goes my exposure, double sigh.

Since I got the email with the change of time I’ve been down. On my drive back to my apartment after work this evening I was actively thinking about getting a milk shake, as if drinking a ridiculously high in calorie drink would somehow make me feel better. Taste good suuuuuure but do anything good for me long term? Nope. Short term though…well, that’s a different matter since some days a person just wants to eat/drink their feelings lol

Instead of buying a milkshake I made a drink at home that I love but rarely have because it isn’t all that great for me (though there are a lot worse drinks out there lol) but also because I like saving it as a treat.

these two added to warm milk = deliciousness

these two added to warm milk = deliciousness

You take milk, warm it on the stove, while it is heating up add a couple tablespoons of the almond powder that is in the pink tin, stir for a bit, pour in to a mug and sprinkle some nutmeg on top.

It’ll look like this…

Warm Almond Milk topped with Nutmeg

Warm Almond Milk topped with Nutmeg

If you are like me you have a mug you use for special comfort drinks (hot chocolate, warm almond milk with nutmeg…um, those are my only comfort drinks lol) which is why my drink is in that snazzy Star Trek mug that I got in Vegas. 🙂

I haven’t been working out a lot lately, read between the lines and that translates to “I haven’t been working out at all lately” 😦 Bad me! *shakes finger at self* Mostly because of the hip and a small part because of my being lazy lol I went for a walk last Wednesday and am embarrassed to admit that was my only form of activity for all of last week. Laaaaaaame!

So now I’m trying to decide which way the correlation goes, do I feel down and as a result haven’t been exercising or have I not been exercising and that has me feeling down…either way the result is I am not exercising. *rolls eyes* I had a day or two last week where if I had wanted to push the hip I probably could have done something active but didn’t go because (get this!) I felt fat! Yeah, you read that right…I had a day where I didn’t go to the gym because I felt too fat to go to the gym, I felt that everyone would be staring and judging me as I failed on the treadmill, as I tried to lift weights, as I looked ridiculous stretching…you get the idea…

I am well aware of the faults in this logic…I can’t get in shape if I am not exercising but I was feeling too down and fat to want to go exercise. This is not a situation I am used to and I’m not really sure how to get out of it…*confused face*

I’ve decided I’m fed up with myself. Hell, I am irritating myself. So tonight before I go to bed I am going to pack a bag with my work out stuff in it and hang it on the door knob to my front door, that way I can’t possibly forget it tomorrow when I leave for work. Then after work no matter what I am exercising! I may go to the gym, I may go for an outdoor run, I dunno, but I am damn sure I am gonna do something cause no way I’ll start feeling better about how I look if I just keep doing nothing.

get out of your own way

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7 Second Slate

16 Jan

Slate: a quick blurb you say about yourself on camera right before the start of an audition to make it easier for the casting directors to know who they are watching. In your slate you generally say some combination of your name, your agent info and what role you are auditioning for.

Easy peasy. 🙂

acting

Well, there is a new type of slate being used in the acting world and today I filmed one. It was 7 seconds and I had to say my name and something about me that is not about acting. I had 7 seconds to show my personality, make myself sound interesting and basically convince people I have never met to choose me to see in person.

omg! Who can do that in 7 seconds?! lol

Oddly enough I find it harder to do a slate than to do an audition scene. Either type of slate! I think because slipping in to the skin of a character is easy, and since you are no longer you but your character it doesn’t matter what you do in front of the camera cause it isn’t you, it is the character you are being. But a slate? Ugh. You have a super short window of time to show who you are, while saying a blurb of information, and for some reason I always turn in to a bit of a robot when I do a slate.

Today, after I did my second take the camera guy said, and I quote “ok, that was good, let’s do one more and try to have fun” Fun. *rolls eyes* I do have fun when acting but sooooometimes I have to be reminded of that, usually during an especially intense scene, which for anybody reading this who isn’t into acting is kinda normal so don’t go thinking I suck or something lol But to need to be reminded to have fun while doing a slate? Makes me want to kick myself a little bit lol The next take was much better, in fact, it was the one we used, so yay!

For the slate I had to dress in the same outfit I wore for my main head shot and I had to try to make myself look as close to my head shot as possible, this means I had to make myself look purdy 😉 lol So today I was that girl who had the makeup and hair done, the cute dress and high heeled boots on and wow is it funny how you get completely different looks when dressed like that vs wearing yoga pants and a hoodie lol

Dressing up like that always makes me feel a bit like an imposter lol

I’m going to pretend you are interested in why these 7 second slates are being filmed and explain where they are used lol Feel free to skip ahead if you *gasp* aren’t curious…though how could you not be? 😉 😛

There is a website that is used by agents, casting directors and actors for setting up auditions. It isn’t the only way auditions are set up but one of them. As an actor it is my responsibility to have an updated resume, head shots, demo reel and now a slate on the site. My agent can submit my page from that website to casting directors who are posting casting calls and auditions. When my page gets submitted the casting director will take a look, see my head shot, check out my resume and if they like what they see they will then click on my head shot and they will get a pop up page that will show them my 7 second slate. This gives them a chance to hear my voice, see my body language, witness my energy…basically give them more information so they can decide if they want to see me in person or not.

So far there is only one website that is using this 7 second slate, other sites you can upload your demo reel either for free or for a small amount of money and the casting director can watch that instead. This particular site wants to charge me $22 per minute for my demo reel! Ridonkulous! Which means they get my little slate and not my demo reel cause dude, I’m not made of money, eesh.

So yeah, my day was planned around filming something that lasts 7 seconds lol Oh the weird life of an actor 😛

Afterwards I grabbed some take out sushi, hung out at a friend’s house for a couple hours, came back to my place did some random tidying up, put laundry in, plopped my butt down in my living room chair and proceeded to watch really boring tv lol. I decided I was fed up with my viewing options and was starting to stand up so I could go change and go to the gym when my timer beeped reminding I had to switch over the laundry and poof! my plan of going to the gym went up in smoke cause oops, I’d kinda forgotten I had clothes in the machines and other stuff waiting to go in. I hate being that person who takes up the laundry machines by not removing my stuff within five minutes of the machines being done so no way was I gonna go out, especially when I still had a whole other load to go in the wash. My laundry didn’t finish till 10:49pm and my gym closes at 11pm so guess who completely missed out on a gym visit due to laundry? Yup. This girl. How dumb is that?!

I’m gonna set my alarm for earlier then normal tomorrow morning and see if I can drag my butt out of bed early enough to go to the gym before work but considering how much I hate mornings I’m not holding out much hope I’ll make it to the gym. lol. And no, I don’t even feel bad saying that cause I figure hey, least I know myself! 😀

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Buh-Bye 2013

31 Dec

At midnight tonight 2013 will be gone and we’ll be living in the year 2014.

Colourful 2014 in fiery sparklers

2014.

Anybody else’s mind blown?…just a teeny bit? a smidge?…Yeah, mine too when I actually think about it.

I don’t do the whole New Years Resolution thing, I don’t see the point. If there are things I want to do why wait for Jan 1st to start working towards doing them? Also, if I have to actually sit down and think about what I should add to a list to create a New Years Resolution list well, to me that seems I probably don’t want to do those things all that much or I wouldn’t be having to sit and make a list, I’d already be working towards those things.

Does that make sense?

If I were to make a list the things on mine would be (1) work on acting career (2) get in better shape (3) travel more or at least find a way to save money to go towards travelling.

Not that hard. But ya know what? I’m already working on all those things. *gasp* I know, shocking huh?

Sure, I have a new work out plan I am going to be following but that isn’t because tomorrow is Jan 1st, that is because my most recent challenge didn’t net me the results I wanted and I researched to find a better plan to follow. I researched this back on Dec 22nd and would have already started following it except I got sick and I’m waiting till I am better before I go to the gym. Nothing worse then people at the gym sweating like crazy and breathing super hard while sick…why not just cough right in my face? Speed up the spreading of your germs why don’t ya? Ugh.

Let’s look at the other two things on my so called list shall we?

Work on the acting career? Oh wait, I do that already! Am I not the girl who recently (like two weeks ago) signed with a new and totally awesome agent, has new headshots, updated her various online acting related sites and as soon as she is talking normally (stupid congestion, grr) will be making appointments to take care of some other acting related things that will help promote her to casting agents? Yeah, yeah that is me. Coolio. Sooooo, working on that one but not cause it is on any kind of list…

Hmm, the third is travel more or find a way to save money to go travelling. I love love love to travel! Once I started University I sadly became waaaaay too poor to be able to travel anymore. Boo! 😦 For the past 6 years all I do is go between where I live now and where I used to live, until this past summer! I broke with that little tradition and went to Los Angeles this past August and it was awesome! It’s not like L.A. is far away but (1) I hadn’t been anywhere new in 6 freakin years so it felt amazing to go! (2) I got to hang with a friend I hadn’t seen for years for ten whole days! (3) hello? it was L.A., my acting mecca lol and well, it was vacation. Vacation that wasn’t spent jumping from one friend to another trying to make sure everyone got an even amount of time with me, it was ten days where I called the shots (for the most part) about what I did and where I went. Glorious. 😀 Sooooo, I already started travelling, even if it was a baby trip and yeah, not cause I’d put that on some sort of list….guess I must have really wanted to do that huh?

Something great that came of that trip was I decided that this no travelling thing can’t go on! I don’t care if I have to backpack everywhere I travel, I haaaaave to travel! My master plan was to alternate years. So, since I travelled summer 2013 I would spend 2014 saving money and travel again in 2015 but I have a family wedding summer of 2014 in England and if I am gonna spend all that money going to England for a wedding might as well check out a country I haven’t been to yet that is in the area, right? I mean, makes sense to me…I had been planning on going to Germany but have decided to switch that to somewhere else, I haven’t decided where yet. The only condition is it has to be somewhere I haven’t been before. I love that condition. 🙂 The trip will definitely be a low budget one but who cares as long as I am seeing a new part of the world? 🙂

where to go? where to go? hmm...

where to go? where to go? hmm…

Perhaps you are someone who does make a New Year’s Resolution List? If so I hope that works for you and whatever you put on that list happens for you in 2014! 🙂

If you’re like me and you don’t make a list don’t let that stop you from thinking of a goal and aiming for it!

2014 can be your year, I sure as hell plan on making it mine! Booyah! 😀

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